#he dedicated so much to the church and to trying to be a good person and when he dies he is greeted by Nothing.

[xxventiswindblumexx]

Venti/Barbatos x follower fem reader!

Much like my Smut Soulmate I was nervous for this release since I mainly have scara Simps on here but since they're posting I'm posting! We post together 🥺❤👫

Here's to good fan fiction! 🍷

@hitomisuzuya

⚠Warnings⚠:God complex,superiority kink, corruption, venti being himself, pervert stuff, praise kink, breeding kink, mentions of Alcohol because ya know venti.

Barbatos, the Archon of Freedom, holder of the Ameno Vision and the weakest Archon according to those who do not live in Mondstadt. It doesn't matter what they say however, to you he is all you need, to believe in, to love, to feel protected. You're a nun in the Favonius Cathedral, ever since you were young you've dedicated your life to preserve, protect and to teach everything Barbatos was about.

You lived among another named Barbara, she's the Deaconess, she is older but not by much. However you've noticed she's been neglecting her dutys, only slightly not something an average person would notice. She seems to be infatuated with the Traveller, sure he is interesting but he didn't peek your interest as much as a certain bard that seemed to follow him occasionally. Unaware of the bards true identity of course you tried to stray from temptation, barely speaking to him unless he speaks first which surprisingly happens often.

The bard known as Venti often runs right up to you first thing whenever the traveller enters the church. You of course speak to him, after all even with your crush on the male it would be rather rude and ungodly to ignore him, not that you would want to anyways.

The bard often talks about anything that comes on his mind it seems, things such as if you tried wine or if you really lived in the church all day and night. Yes you've tried wine, only communal wine however, nothing compared to what the bard had drank in his nights at the winery. How do you know? He often came to the church doors late at night crying out to see you in his drunken state, slurring words and being very touchy. You of course always opened the doors as it was your job to help those in need and even with his constant self destructive habits, he's still someone who needs help. It's unknown rather the bard had a home or family so he usually slept in a pew on those nights, and on the other times he isn't drunk you aren't sure where he goes, though the traveller assures you he's fine.

Today was like many others, quiet and peaceful as you could see the sun's rays shining in through the large windows and the sound of the wind blowing gently outside. That morning Barbara informed you that she would be out for the next week, it was rather strange, she's never left the church that long, however she assured you it was just to spend time with family, with her older sister Jean. So you would be alone to care for the Cathedral which wasn't too hard, not a whole lot happens really.

Around noon the traveller came to the church asking for Barbara, you unfortunately had to inform the man that she was out for a week. He took it well and decided to leave however his bard friend seemed to not notice. After Aether left Venti as usual ran to you and started off on his usual conversations.

"So Y/N, are you really alone for a week? Like by yourself? I can imagine it'll be sooo lonely huh" He said in a slight teasing voice as you was both sat at a pew. "Yes, I'll be on my own however I have all I need for company, the winds Lord Barbatos bestowed upon the city is enough company and comfort" You replied knowing he was probably going to try to stay around, in a fantasy sure you would like him to stay.. and maybe do other th- No! You cannot think this way, this is sinful and will distract you from your purpose. Shaking her head some as you cleared your thoughts you noticed Venti as leaning over, his hand reaching up to your face, you move away some "What are you doing Venti?"you asked with a sigh as he giggled " your face is all red, what could be going through your mind? Nothing dirty I hope~! " he teased as you didn't notice. In embarrassment you stood up sighing "Venti I must ask you to leave as I need to clean the pews and return to my duties, maybe another time we can chat about something related to the church" you said to him with a bit of sass as he only smirked as he got up "Oh sure, I'll definitely be coming back to talk about Lord Barbatos~" he teased before leaving.

Later that night as you was already settled into your bed in the back of the Cathedral you started to close your eyes when you heard the all too familiar sound of someone knocking and banging against the large doors of the church. You thought about not even bothering with it being that your alone but after a few minutes the banging continued along with faint whining, sighing you got up in your silk robes and headed towards the front. You wore white beautiful sleeping robes, no they weren't see through, at least not unless gotten wet but if you remember correctly it's not supposed to rain so no worried right?

Just before you get to the door you hear a loud thunder strike! You looked at the windows and noticed the very heavy downpour, just as you were going to grumble about your outfit you heard the banging and ran to the door, almost forgot he was out there.

Unlocking and opening the large doors you see Venti, crumbled onto the stairs, his clothes soaking wet as he looked up at you pitifully "Y/N~ you took sooo long to get the door today... I'm all wet now.. " he whined, you couldn't help but to feel bad for the boy. After all it doesn't rain often here and definitely never stormed this bad in awhile. You reach down to help him up but only to pull you into the rain too. Great just what you needed, not even thinking on how translucent your outfit must be you're more focused on getting the drunken bard inside, helping him up and inside the church, the doors closing behind you. It's then now that you're soaking wet you noticed how cold the main Hall with the pews get at night, you decided he couldn't sleep here, he would catch a cold or worse. You walk him to the back where your room was, of course you couldn't sleep in the same bed so you where already thinking on taking Barbaras room, she wouldn't mind.

You set him down and start looking in your dresser for something wearable for him, of course after you already given him a towel to at least warm up with.

However the whole time you're digging through your clothes you could feel his eyes staring at you, almost forgetting your what used to be a pretty silk nightgown is now see through thanks to the rain. "Can you not stare so hard Venti? I'm trying to find something for you to wear" you say, not able to look at him in embarrassment.

He shakes his head a smile tugging on his lips as he leans in closer "No, it's just that you're so adorable.. you know that don't you? I'd love to hold you in my arms" the bard slurred as he was right up against you, you could feel his chest, did.. did he take his wet clothes off already??

You turn to face him to see he was only in boxers, your eyes couldn't help but betray you, looking at his body and especially the ever growing tent in his underwear.

"V-Venti! Why are yo-" Before you could argue he placed a finger over your lips, his eyes glowed as marking appeared on to his body, it was then when you could see him for who he was, as Lord Barbatos.

"Didn't I tell you earlier? I would come back to talk, of course it would be a bit selfish since it is about me~" He giggled as he was pressed against you, you could feel him poking you, these feelings of arousal was familiar but not all too familiar, yes you had a life of abstinence but you're human and of course would have those thoughts occasionally.

"Speechless? Not surprising, after all you are meeting the very Archon you've been worshiping all your life, tell me Y/N, do you want to please your Archon? To be my little follower? " he said with lust laced heavily in his voice. His tone was soft but filled with desire and want, you wanted him to kiss you so bad right now.

"L-Lord Barbatos... " you mumbled unable to form words, he let out a low groan at the name, it's been ages since he's been called by his true name, it only serves to intensify his lust. "Yes call me that more, your Lord, your Archon~" his soft lips crashing into yours, his hands was quick to pull the wet nightgown off, he didn't want you to get a cold now would he?

Your body felt hot to his touch, you felt sparks go off in your body whenever his hands moved across them, yet you didn't resist it, why should you? He is your Archon, all these years serving him, unaware he was always there, in plain sight.

He pushed you onto the bed, hovering over you, he is so pretty, his eyes.. his glowing tattoos, his face and everything, he truly was an Archon, your Archon.

You shiver under his gaze as you felt himself moving his mouth against your collarbone, your head feeling dizzy as he bites you harshly as you whimper slightly. A soft moan leaves your lips as he moves lower kissing and sucking on your neck, you gasp a bit in surprise, his hands wander over your body as he presses his chest against yours and you both feel heat spread through your bodies, a small whimper escaping your lips as his hands continue their path downwards, to your core.

It doesn't take long for him to find what he was looking for, his hands begin to push your hips upwards, wanting to feel the sensation of skin on skin between the two of you, you whimper once more, feeling a small nip on your neck as he begins to suck on it, you feel yourself arching your back as he continues to work his magic on you, you feel yourself becoming wetter and wetter, you could feel your legs shaking as you tried to keep yourself still, you could feel his fingers slipping inside you to feel the warmth inside you, it was exciting. Moaning out his name and whimpering for more "Ssshhh... I knew you'd like this~, just give me a moment, my muse" he said as his kisses made their way to your stomach, moving up your torso slowly. You moan quietly, your hands gripping his hair gently as your body trembles uncontrollably.

His slender fingers made quick work of you, it didn't take long for you get close already, moaning, whimpering and begging "My Lord, Barbatos please~! " but of course just before you could release he slipped his fingers out, giggling. He's still the same bard you met, a teasing man.

Before you could retaliate you felt his member press into you, whining as tears flowed, the Archon sympathized with you, whiping your tears as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he pushed further until he was fully into you.

As he began to move, it wasn't the pain that shocked you so much as the pleasure that made you tremble and let out moans, it was intoxicating really, the sensation was so overwhelming, he thrust harder as he held you tighter as you bucked underneath him, crying out as you gripped his shoulders, you couldn't seem to hold yourself still anymore, a mixture of pleasure and pain mixed inside you as his member went deeper and deeper.

You gasped, gasping loudly as you cried out from the pleasure, he grunted as he held your body firmly against his own.

"Won't you be my lover? My pretty little wife? The woman that'll bring the next Archon into this world~? " He said as his thrusts was harsh against your hips, groans left his lips as he gotten close.

"Beg for me, beg to be filled with my love, to be mine~" he groaned out as his eyes seemed to glow brighter.

"P-please Lord Barbatos, please f-fill me up! " Was all you could say before reaching your climax as well as his own, pushing himself deeper into you, everything happened so fast, he seemed to glow so bright, you fainted from all the stimulation.

.......

Your eyes fluttered open hearing the winds softly blow against the church, you felt sore before remembering last night, shooting up in bed quickly aching and regretting it as you held your stomach some. You noticed you're alone in your room, no sign of the bard.

You get up to get dressed and looked into your mirror to see all the markings, hickeys, bites and.. is that an Ameno mark? On her neck was a glowing mark for the Ameno Archon.

After getting dressed and cleaning up you opened the doors to the church for the regulars to come in, and not to surprising a certain bard was sitting on the stairs with his Lyre, singing a song of love.

#genshin impact venti #venti smut #Archon Smut #lord barbatos

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Minimal Loss: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Summary: You and Spencer go undercover to a ranch that is run by a man who thinks he’s God. When you and Spencer are trapped there, you will do anything to protect him, even if it means putting yourself in danger.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"To follow by faith alone is to follow blindly." - Benjamin Franklin

"I promise I'm good," you try to convince your superiors. "I'm taking my medicine, my headaches are gone, and I'm doing much better."

"Prentiss never got close to a bomb," Hotch says.

"Respectfully, I am a much better fit for this than she is. I connect more with children than she does. You're sending us in because of a call you got for child abuse. Sir, those predators are very skilled and can easily put a mask on. I can detect those masks."

"We did think of her first," Rossi has your back.

"I can do this. You can trust me," you practically beg.

"I can and I do. Fine, go with Spencer," Hotch finally says.

You bounce with joy and leave their office to go find your boyfriend. You and Spencer are being sent undercover as child victim interview experts inside a church where a 911 call came in. The child on the phone explains that someone comes into her bedroom at night and lays with her... does stuff with her... and she's not the only one. She's only fifteen, and that's why Hotch wanted to send in two of its agents to see who the caller was and if you can somehow get the kids to safety.

You're not sure who the "he" the caller is referring to, but the person driving you to the ranch does. Her name is Nancy Lunde, and she is also an FBI agent more dedicated to things of this nature.

"Tell us about the 911 call," Spencer says from the backseat.

"I believe the 'he' that they referred to is the church's leader, Benjamin Cyrus."

Spencer takes out the file that Hotch gave him when you left, which is all about Benjamin Cyrus since they have a strong suspicion that it's him who is doing these things to the kids.

"Benjamin Cyrus has no criminal record. No record at all, really. What else do you know about him?"

"It's rumored that he's practicing polygamy and forced marriages."

"Do you know who the caller is?" you ask.

"Jessica Evanson is the one who fits the age, but we can't be sure. So, I negotiated interviews with all the children. It wasn't easy."

This church/ranch is so private that they hate outsiders. So, the fact that Nancy was able to get these interviews is amazing. If there is any seed of doubt planted inside their brains about you and Spencer, then it's game over. If they find out they have two FBI agents inside their operation, then you could get hurt... or worse.

"Well, considering their view on outsiders, it would be best if you didn't identify us as FBI agents. Just use our real names, and introduce us as child victim interview experts," you state.

Nancy arrives at the church, and the guards posted at the gate let her through once she shows proper identification. Three people walk outside, and as soon as you look at the person in the middle, you know he is nothing but a good man.

"I'm looking for Benjamin Cyrus," Nancy says.

"You found him."

"I'm Nancy Lunde. We spoke on the phone regarding the allegation."

"They call us savages because our manners differ from theirs."

"We didn't come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus."

"Actually, it's Benjamin Franklin," Spencer says.

He can't help himself, and you look at him with worry. You're scared of what they will do if they get upset. This isn't exactly normal behavior.

"They are Y/N and Spencer Reid. They're child victim interview experts," Nancy introduces.

"How far from God's word must we have strayed for there to be the need to invent a job called child victim interview expert?"

"We wish we didn't have to be here."

"So do we, but you are welcome, nonetheless. The children are in the school as I indicated."

Ben escorts you into the small school that looks like it came from the fifties. The school is a single triangle-top building with a bunch of desks and a chalkboard up front. All the kids know you're coming, so the teacher has separated them into groups. The person on the phone was Jessica, according to Nancy, so you start with her.

You and Spencer speak to her first, and the rest of the kids stay in the back of the room. Jessica's mom, Kathy, stays with her. You look at her in thought, but she can't seem to hold your gaze.

"Can you tell us what you guys do here?" you ask.

"We go to school, we do our chores, and we treat ourselves and each other with the respect God demands," Jessica says.

She is very stoic in her answers, and it's clear she is a firm believer in whatever is happening here. There are a bunch of different emotions coming from all of the kids, but Jessica is different from everyone else. She truly believes in this, so she doesn't fear Ben or his scripture.

She's being manipulated, and you know by who.

"Have you ever been off the ranch?"

"I brought Jessie here when she was two," her mother says.

"You've talked to lots of children in your work. Tell me, are their lives somehow better than ours?" Jessica asks boldly.

"We devote ourselves to God. That doesn't mean we're not devoted to our children," Kathy says before you or Spencer can answer.

"We are not here because of your religious beliefs," you say. "We received a phone call alleging that an adult male member of your church was having inappropriate relations with the younger women here."

Something clicks inside Kathy's eyes. Hope? Relief? Did she somehow know about the phone call? She quickly looks away before she can give anything more about herself away, and you turn to Jessica to gauge her reaction.

"You're talking about Cyrus."

"What makes you say that?"

"Is it inappropriate for a husband to share a bed with his wife?"

This... you weren't expecting. Did Ben marry a fifteen-year-old girl? And her mother allowed it?

"You're married to Cyrus?"

"Yes. Cyrus is my husband and a prophet. It's an honor to bear his children."

"Jessica, you're fifteen years old. The state of Colorado requires parental consent," Spencer says gently.

You look to Kathy who can't bear to look you in the eyes.

"She did give consent," you state.

Suddenly, the doors to the school burst open and men with big guns walk in. You have no clue what is happening, but it's clear they mean business. Ben is in the middle of all of this with an angry look on his face. Waves of anger radiate off him, and you force yourself to remain calm through all this. You look at Spencer, and he stands closer to you in a protective way.

"Get up! Get up! You heard me! Stand!" one of the men yells.

"What is going on?" Nancy asks.

"We just got a very strange phone call from a news reporter. Is there anything you want to tell me about a raid maybe?"

"They don't know anything. We don't know what's going on."

All of the women and children, including you, Spencer, and Nancy are taken down to the basement underneath the church. The men stay up top and get ready for the raid that will happen. Your team organized this if you and Spencer don't achieve your goals. You're not sure how Ben found out about this, but it's not like you're going to say something now.

"Spencer," you whisper.

"Remember to stay calm," he assures you.

If panic ensues, then you'll feel it all, and you'll start to have panic attacks. Gunfire can be heard from the surface, and you move back from the door with Spencer. This causes all the kids to be afraid, and their fear transfers over to you. Spencer sees the wide look in your eyes, and he can see your chest start to heave.

"Y/N, you need to calm down."

"I feel everything," you whisper. "All of their panic and fear rolled into one. Spencer, it's overwhelming."

"I know, but you need to remain calm or else you'll blow this whole thing up."

You're clearly not listening to him, so he secretly takes your hand in his. If Ben were to see this, then he might think you and Spencer aren't who you say you are. The feeling of Spencer's touch is enough to push down the fear right now.

You're okay, but you don't know how long this will last.

"Everybody stay together. Children listen to your parents. Alright, everyone. Have faith."

You pass by wooden boxes with guns in them, and you didn't know they had this many. You didn't know they had guns, to begin with. This puts your whole operation at high risk because now people can die if you're not careful.

"Where'd all these guns come from?" you whisper to Spencer.

"I don't know. Garcia checked with the state police. They said they didn't have any."

"Alright. Remain calm. Stay quiet. God will protect you," Ben says.

He and a few men head upstairs with guns in hand while two more stays down here to watch over the women and children. Nancy can't sit here knowing she might be able to help them, so she gets up with the intent of going up there.

"Nancy," you hiss.

"It's the state police. I'm an officer of the state."

"There's nothing we can do right now."

"I can talk to him."

"No, you can't. It's dangerous." Nancy doesn't listen and pushes past the men to head upstairs. You get up to stop her, but the two men block your path. "Nancy, stop! Nancy!"

You have no choice but to sit back down next to Spencer. You bounce your leg in nervousness as you try to focus your breathing instead of the fear coming from the parents. Ten minutes later, Ben comes back but he's not with Nancy. You already know she is dead--she got caught in the crossfire.

"Shit," you mutter.

"Do not fear. We are on the side of the righteous."

"Where's Nancy?"

"It wasn't us," he sighs.

"What? You can't shoot it out with the cops! You have children here!" you gasp.

"I didn't start this. I'll take the roof. You take the tunnel," he says to one of his men.

They leave, and you strain your ears to hear what is going on up there. The floors are thin enough for you to hear the police pull back. This wasn't a win for them, but you know they won't stay back forever. All of the women and children are taken to a safer place than the basement, but you and Spencer are forced to stay behind.

Ben comes back down with one of his men, and they're not happy.

"Miles is dead," Chirs, Ben's right-hand man says. "He was locking the door when they shot him. Lauren and Robert were asleep in their bed. The bullets came through the wall."

"What about their baby?"

Just then, Jessica walks in with a small baby in her arms. You're sick to your stomach with the way she is falling to her knees at Ben's every command. He forced himself on her, she's smitten, and now she's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. She has fallen in love with her captor whether she wants to admit it or not. You have to look away before you get rageful and do something you'll regret later. To counteract how you're feeling, you bounce your leg quickly, and Spencer notices. He places a hand on your leg, but that doesn't stop you.

"I have her. She was at school."

"Hello, darling. It's gonna be alright, honey. Mommy and Daddy have gone to God. Okay? It's gonna be alright. Take her to the temple and pray."

Jessica leaves without hesitation.

"Distribute weapons and ammo. I prayed this day would never come, but it has. God will see us through," Ben says to Chris.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fan fic #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fan fiction #criminal minds fan fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds angst #criminal minds series rewrite #series rewrite #cm season 4

[wonheartzz]

BE MY PROM DATE? — PARK SUNGHOON

PROFILES 1 : WELCOME TO DECELIS ACADEMY !

VIEW. masterlist | hanyang gang | i got the perfect guy

founded in 1964, decelis academy remains one of the best high schools in seoul and the nation: ranked #1 private school in seoul, #5 high school in seoul, and #11 high school in korea. students must pass the bar exam with a score of 88 or higher in order to attend the academy. everyone here, from staff to students to parents, all try their best to maintain the values of this school and strive to keep the academy’s academic ranking.

CLICK TO MEET THE STUDENTS !

STUDENT ID #211043899 : PARK SUNGHOON

DETAILS. despite his good looks, sunghoon isn’t very popular. he is however well-known throughout the school for his handsome appearance and being friends with jake sim and jay park, two of the most popular juniors. he’s a quiet and private individual, but is a part of the school’s soccer team—although he mostly sits on the bench. he’s ranked #2 in his grade and is notorious for being in almost every honors class.

STUDENT ID #211042375 : JAKE SIM (SIM JAEYUN)

DETAILS. jake moved to korea his last year of middle school, but was able to adapt quickly to the korean school system. he’s the star player of the school’s soccer team and is in the top 10 for his grade. jake is known for being a kind, well-spoken individual, who is also quite the charmer, or so everyone says.

STUDENT ID #211041987 : JAY PARK (PARK JONGSEONG)

DETAILS. jay, or jongseong, is known for his extremely respectful and polite attitude. he would be considered a teacher’s pet if every student at decelis didn’t like him so much. he can be a little hotheaded on the soccer field, but usually ends the game without any yellow cards. ranked #5 of his class, he is also extremely smart, and especially good at debating. everyone at decelis knows the golden boy jay, and everyone loves him.

STUDENT ID #211042344 : KIM JIMIN

DETAILS. jimin is a part of the school choir, usually getting every solo, and known for her vocals. she’s also on her church’s worship team and a dedicated member. she’s quite popular since she’s on the school’s volleyball team and an overall sweet person. jimin has been best friends with l/n y/n since they were babies at church, so most people who talk to her know about y/n.

STUDENT ID #211049772 : KANG TAEHYUN

DETAILS. taehyun is also a part of the school choir, but nobody at church besides his close friends know he sings beautifully (and he’d like to keep it that way). another kid that was born into the church, hence why him, jimin, and y/n are such good friends. he’s incredibly smart—ranked #1 in his class—but little people know. he’s somewhat known in his school, but people don’t know much about him.

STUDENT ID #240883654 : YANG JUNGWON

DETAILS. jungwon is currently the freshman class president and rank #3 of his grade. although he only does taekwondo at the moment, he is an overall athletic individual who many teams want to recruit (e.g. jake with soccer). he usually hangs out with upperclassmen, being considered one of their "adopted freshmen".

STUDENT ID #240881928 : NISHIMURA RIKI

DETAILS. riki is sometimes called ni-ki since there is another riki in his grade, but his friends still call him riki. he moved here this year, but somehow understand korean pretty fluently. he's known for his excellent dance skills, being the youngest member on the school's dance team, all stars. riki mostly hangs out with jungwon and their upperclassmen friends.

VIEW. masterlist | hanyang gang | i got the perfect guy

SYNOPSIS. it’s been one semester into junior year, yet y/n is still single and crush-less. desperate for a date to prom, she asks all her friends for help to find one. luckily, y/n’s best friend knows the perfect guy—tall, handsome, smart, funny, and he’s the cute guy from summer camp?! too bad he goes to another school.

ANNA’S NOTE. first profile wooo

TAGLIST STATUS : open! check masterlist to join. all taglists will be in the reblogs!

REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!

© 2023 wonheartzz. please do not steal, copy, or repost my works on any platform.

#enhypen smau #enhypen x reader #sunghoon smau #sunghoon x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon fluff #enhypen au #sunghoon au #enhypen social media au #sunghoon social media au #enhypen fics #sunghoon fics #enhypen scenarios #sunghoon scenarios #enhypen #sunghoon #park sunghoon

[aheavenofhell]

Okay okay okay okay, I think it’s time to voice why the Aziraphale hate bothers me so much—and I know I shouldn’t take it personally but—

GODDAMMIT I WILL TAKE IT PERSONALLY!

The way some of the fandom is reacting to Aziraphale leaving is giving very much the same unwelcoming vibes I got trying to make queer friends when I first came out of the closet and church. I was at an impasse, because while yes, the church didn’t accept me and I had to leave it—

I didn’t get accepted there either.

I got long shit talks about Christianity and how Christian love is really just hate and etc etc and the thing is, the thing is—

They didn’t realize! You don’t realize! People who didn’t grow up devoutly religious don’t realize! When you are reared one way, born surrounded by people telling you one thing is the Ultimate Truth and if you question or disobey you LITERALLY GO TO HELL AND BURN FOREVER you end up with some not so good beliefs/choices! Because you, remember, whole-heartedly believe that anything else is eternal punishment.

And I’m not out here trying to justify everything Christians do or anything like that, that’s not my point. My point is that as a little girl I was taught Abraham was right for trying to kill Isaac, and the belief that he wasn’t was a secret I kept in my chest whenever I heard the story, because I was afraid of literal divine retribution.

All these things I was taught, all these things repeated over and over again in my ears over the course of most of my life, have had a huge impact on how I behave to this day, even if I don’t necessarily believe the same things anymore. Because you don’t just get to live in that kind of fear and anxiety and shame for that long and come out unscathed.

And it is very, very hard not to go back. I think a lot of people don’t realize this about escaping a certain belief system. It’s fucking hard not to revert back to what has, despite it’s inherent discomfort, become comfortable. To accept the fact that you spent the majority of your life dedicated to the wrong thing. Do you know how painful it is to realize that? The sense of purpose you lose?

So yeah. I understand Aziraphale’s decision. I understand being uncomfortable in the grey. I understand still believing there’s a way to be Good with the capital G. Probably above all that I understand wanting to fix things. Ha! That’s what I said as a police explorer at 14. There’s even a little news clip of me, somewhere on the web, saying just that. I want to change things from the inside, I told the local reporter. I want to be a good cop.

And it took me a little bit to realize that that wasn’t something I could take on. That my anger over the injustice happening at the hands of police officers would not be resolved by becoming a police officer that Doesn’t Do That. That I couldn’t right their wrongs just by simply being the good one.

I still believe in trying to do the right thing. I still believe there’s some universal rights and wrongs, albeit only a few. But I’ve learned, over a very slow period of time, to look into those grey areas. To abandon the black and white.

Aziraphale is on his way to figuring that out too. But man, that shit is hard.

#good omens #me projecting #aziraphale #protect aziraphale #good omens season 2 #analysis #religious deconstruction #go2 spoilers #meta #good omens meta

[gbee-writes]

Viva La Revolution

Chapter one

Tw: Death mention, funeral, corrupt agency, torture, imprisonment, borderline dissociation

---

There was only numb anymore.

Hero had been to plenty of funerals in her time, plenty of close friends gone, and after years of it she couldn’t help but feel hollow in that damn church hall. This was what it was to be a hero in this city.

When she first joined her agency she had been full of vigor and passion. The injuries used to be laughed off in the cafe. Everyone did it; everyone but the older heroes. Hero used to be baffled by their behavior towards the medical mishaps.

What were broken ribs if a dangerous criminal was now behind bars?

What was a major concussion when the death weapons were disabled?

What were the third degree burns?

What were the vicious lacerations?

What was she if not a martyr?

The head of the agency droned on about sacrifice and dedication. “Other Hero was a true hero, he was a man of strength and protection and love.” Hero let out the tiniest huff. As if the head knew anything about her friend.

As if it weren’t his fault Other Hero was in a casket.

Heroes never made it past their fifties. Hero hadn’t noticed at first but she certainly took note after trying to reach out to old retired heroes for advice. She had found that there wasn’t any.

No retired saviors from the city; no true elders to nurture the youths taking over their roles. It hadn’t taken much digging to find out why. Her contract had said it all. Heroes in this city signed their lives away.

She had seen Other Hero’s death from a mile away of course. The week before his final battle they had tea together and she could see how worn down he was. His final words to her drifted through her muddy thoughts.

“I think it’s time for me to rest, Hero.” He had said it with a haunting melancholy. “I’ll miss these tea times.”

Her hands tightened on the skirts of her black dress. Now that she was considered a ‘senior hero’ she finally understood why none of them laughed at the injuries with the fresh meat.

Hero’s body had been ripped apart and forced back together so many times in her long stint as a hero that no part of it felt right. Her knees cracked as she walked, her hands lost objects unless she held them in death grips, her back ached to no end, her mind was too slow in the worst of times.

One injury became two, then three dozen, then four hundred, thousands if you lasted long enough, and all of them came with residual effects.

Retirement would be a dream but no hero retired. If that dotted line was graced with your signature, you weren’t allowed to leave the agency until you were put six feet under. If there was enough of you to do that.

Some of her past partners had tried and they were hunted down and brought back with great prejudice. A few had tried to go over to the other side. Those few were labeled as the highest ranked criminals; kill on sight.

None were still there.

Of her original team, Hero and Sidekick were the only ones left. She could tell Sidekick was close to taking the only way out too.

This wasn’t how she thought her life would go.

Hero thought that by then she would be happily married with a few kids, maybe a grandchild or two as she was pushing fifty, but instead she was bunked with Sidekick in a crappy apartment so the new recruits could get the better accommodations and think they were in good hands.

She was yanked out of her thoughts by Sidekick giving her a gentle nudge. Hero blinked for a moment before realizing it was her turn to speak. Her agency approved note cards were pulled from her pocket.

Up at the podium she could see every person there. The higher ups who were only there to save face, the new recruits shaken, the old heroes with relief on their faces.

Several people jumped when she cleared her throat. “Thank you all for coming.” The camera she had to pretend didn’t exist broadcast her words across the city. “Other Hero was one of my closest friends. We’d defended the city together for nearly two decades and through it all I always admired his conviction to keep fighting.”

Her eyes trailed to the head of the agency. The man who continued to trap young powered kids into lifelong torture with no remorse. ‘For the greater good’ was his motto.

Fire burned in her chest. She was tired of feeling numb, tired of watching her friends let the villains kill them so they could rest. Her cards crumpled in her fists.

“Until the brutal working conditions took that away from him.”

Murmurs spread through the crowd. Head leaned forward, his mask of somber respect replaced with a barely controlled warning.

Hero didn’t care anymore. “Other Hero went the way so many others of us go; letting villains kill us so we can finally get the rest we deserve. We don’t get retirement, or vacations, or break days!”

The other older heroes in the room shouted confirmations. At the realization that he was just about to lose control, Head gestured for Hero to be removed from the spotlight.

She was grabbed from behind and put in power suppressant cuffs. As she was dragged down Sidekick shot to his feet. “We break ourselves with no guarantee of proper medical care! We sacrifice ourselves with no hesitation and are given nothing in return!”

His voice was followed by another, a hero called Fire-bird. “We are not machines or tools, we are people!” Some of the younger heroes joined in the shouts. “We deserve rights, and we won’t stand for less anymore! All heroes strike!”

“Strike! STRIKE! STRIKE!” The chant covered Head’s desperate attempts to calm the situation. Hero felt a wave of satisfaction even as she was dragged from view, probably to be thrown in a cell for inciting rebellion.

---

Week two.

At least Hero was pretty sure it was the start of the second week. Head had visited her cell every day, and today was no exception. His face was twisted in a dangerous snarl.

“The mess you’ve started is getting worse.” He growled out. “People are dying without their heroes.”

Guilt threatened to break her. She hadn’t wanted that. Without the heroes who was stopping the villains? She hadn’t been thinking; she had been in the throws of grief!

A blow to her ribs brought her attention back to Head. “More of my younger recruits are joining this stupid strike!” Another blow to her face.

Hero tried to blink out the spots in her vision but he’d broken her nose the day before and it was stinging fiercely. Her chest heaved painfully; broken ribs from the third day.

Was she going to die trapped there? Beaten to a pulp as punishment for wanting better? Hero bit her tongue as Head slammed his fists into her aching body over and over again. She thought she’d experienced hell before but this...

The weaker part of Hero wished the black on the edges of her vision would take over. Shame mixed with the guilt. She didn’t deserve to black out. People were dying because of her.

Loud thuds and shouts made there way through the door. Head stopped his attack. Both of them stared at the exit, waiting.

Silence.

Hero glanced at Head and saw the fear in his eyes. She looked back to the door.

The quiet was electric with tension. Her nerves were on fire.

Suddenly the door flew off its hinges and smashed a dent in the wall behind her. Silhouetted by the frame was Sidekick, hands held out where the door used to be, and Villain. Hero’s eyes widened.

Her Villain and Sidekick? Together?!

Villain took in the scene rapidly. “You’ve been beating her?” There was a dangerous possessiveness in his voice. A dark chuckle made Head flinch. “Oh naughty naughty. I’m the only one allowed to wail on her.”

Everything moved so quickly Hero struggled to keep up. Head was knocked to the wall just like the door, Villain slamming full force after him. She was scooped up by Sidekick.

“What-”

“Hang on, I’ll get you to our med-base. Villain will take care of that-” Sidekick stopped himself with a growl. “Damned man put the whole complex on lock down so he could keep the rest of the heroes trapped here. I wanted to bust in the first day but Supervillain wanted to get the public on our side before we tried anything.”

Hero gasped out as Sidekick jumped down a full flight of stairs and jolted her numerous injuries. “The people-” She wheezed a bit. “We have to stop the strike, the villains-”

“Aren’t going on rampages. Turns out when you fight the same people for decades they get attached a bit. Most of them took up our mantle in support of our strike.”

“They what?”

Sidekick smiled down at her. “They took our places. When you want to inspire you do a damn good job of it.” Hero’s brain reeled. Head had said that people were dying in the streets, villains killing unstopped, mass chaos!

He seemed to understand her wordless bafflement. “I don’t know what Head told you but the city’s been safer than it has been in years.”

----

I might continue this if people are interested. I had ideas for later scenes but this is as far as I had for this section? Sorry if the ending isn’t great, I had trouble with that.

Edit: continuing this

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#My writing #hero and villain #hero x sidekick #villain #corrupt agency #don't know how to tag lmao #tw torture #tw death #tw funeral #Viva La Revolution #<-- title

[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 11: Flayn/Seteth)

Flayn: Even if it cannot last, I want to live among my peers as one of them—as an ordinary person. Similar to how you and Mother coexisted with your own comrades back then, fighting side by side. Seteth: Quite right. I know you must leave the nest someday. No matter how many ages our lives may span, I know that's the way of it.

The Crest of Cethleann is associated with The Lovers arcana. Flayn was Seteth's entire reason for living. But she wanted to grow up and gain more independence after living in isolation for so long. She was interested in boys and didn't want her father constantly interfering.

Manuela: Say, Seteth. Have you ever considered remarrying? You know, just so you're not alone? Seteth: It is not a thought that has ever crossed my mind. I have been too preoccupied with fatherhood. Manuela: It's been a long time since your wife passed, right? You should start thinking about it. There could be someone who finds you handsome. Someone close by. Maybe even right in front of you. Seteth: Whatever you said just now, I didn't quite hear. But to remarry—I'd never even considered it an option until you brought it up just now.

While finding Seteth a wife might seem like a good solution, he only considered remarrying when Manuela suggested it. And he only considered it because Flayn would not be by his side forever.

Seteth: It reminds me how deeply I appreciate those years… and how I wish I could return to them. Flayn: We cannot turn back the clock, Father. We must live our lives fully, in the present moment. Seteth: You're right. That is what she always said, isn't it? Dwell too much on the past, and you may be unable to move forward.

While I do think he needed to give Flayn more independence, I think it is better that he takes more time to move on from his wife's death instead of rushing into a relationship just to not be alone. I don't think he was ready to remarry anyone for a long time yet.

Byleth & Seteth Byleth took on the role of archbishop of the Church of Seiros, and Seteth continued in his position of adviser. As they set about the grand task of restoring Fódlan and the church, Seteth's strictness combined with the archbishop's magnanimity won the faithful over easily. Their personalities complemented one another perfectly in keeping church operations smooth. When Fódlan returned to stability, they finally announced their marriage, to the shock and delight of the people. The faithful considered themselves truly blessed to be guided by such a pair.

In most of Seteth's paired endings, he will dedicate himself to the restoration of the church and its authority. His paired ending with Byleth even mentions his strictness in his leadership position.

Seteth (Solo) Seteth remained at the monastery and worked to restore the authority of the Church of Seiros. Doing away with his old strictness, he adopted a tolerant stance toward all. His encouragement of believers to respect those of other faiths helped the people of Fódlan to find common ground with others.

However, his solo ending describes him as doing away with his old strictness and adopting a tolerant stance towards all and encouraging his followers to respect other faiths.

Flayn: Father, I have been wondering something. Is it truly so difficult for the people of Fódlan to live in peace? The world would be a much happier place if everyone could live in harmony with each other... Seteth: I know. I feel the same. But so do the majority of those risking their lives in this war. That is why I believe a peaceful future awaits us, beyond this dreadful conflict. That is the reason I fight. And so you do not have to. Flayn: Father… Seteth: If I lose you, I would lose the very meaning of my life. And so, we will always be together. Flayn: Come now, Father… Please try to understand that I cannot stay with you forever. I will grow up eventually. Though I do promise to refrain from any unnecessary recklessness. And until that day comes, I will always be with you. Besides which, I am certain Mother would be cross with me if I left you all alone. Seteth: I understand. Thank you…Flayn.

From the very beginning, Seteth's purpose was to create a peaceful world, particularly for his daughter. In their paired ending, Flayn leaves the monastery, and he stays behind at first to finish his work before eventually leaving to join her. So even if he isn't ready for her to leave his side for good, he has at least decided to give her more independence. Which shows the growth of their relationship, as well as significant character development on his part.

Hubert: Those with power must use it wisely. Is that not a teaching of the Church of Seiros? It's absurd to preach to others what you cannot practice yourself. Byleth: You're absolutely right. Hubert: Yes. It is our humanity that pushes us to step up and take the lead should the need arise. That is not the case for inhuman creatures with lifespans well beyond our own. We must fight to preserve what makes us human.

I do agree with Edelgard and Hubert that it was better for Rhea and Seteth to step down from a position of authority. They did not always use their power wisely. But I disagree that it was because Rhea, Seteth, and Flayn lacked "humanity".

A recurring theme in 3H was that humanity is based on behavior, not species. Byleth's arc was about regaining their humanity. They used to cut people down without emotion until they spent time with the students. They did not lose their humanity when they merged with Sothis. Dimitri's arc was about reclaiming his humanity by becoming a person who can reach out his hand rather than kill. And Claude's arc was about how people often dehumanize those of other races.

Seteth: If something were to happen to you, it would utterly destroy me. You are my reason for breathing. Do you understand? Flayn: I…I understand. If something were to happen to you, it would break my heart. I could not go on either.

Despite their long lifespans, the Nabateans were just as capable of empathy and grieving loss as any human.

I am sorry, Rhea. I fear we must return to a life in hiding. I detest that person with all my heart. However, Flayn's life is more important to me than all else. I pray that you will one day be free from the burden of your work…

It was Seteth's humanity—his fear of losing his daughter—that led him to step down and begrudgingly leave Fódlan in Byleth's hands.

Scholar: It's normal for history to be revised in favor of those who hold the power. The documents in this library are no exception. It's perfectly possible for someone to have made edits to them. But it's my belief that no one has the power to blot out the truth entirely. I like to read the same texts over and over again. That way, I can spot some of the truths hidden between the lines…

I've seen many fans claim that every route in FE3H leads to a golden age. But I'm not so sure that's actually true. There is a certain scholar who appears in the library and only says the above quote in CF. He points out how history is revised by those who hold power, and you have to look for the truth hidden between the lines.

Narrator: Embracing her newfound power, Edelgard could at last set about destroying Fodlan's entrenched system of nobility and rebuild a world free from the tyranny of Crests and status.

I'm not so sure that CF's ending text was something the player was supposed to simply take at face value. Especially when you consider the authoritarian imagery that accompanies the narration, the fact that nobility still exists in the other endings, as well as the director's interview stressing how "history is at the end of the day the victor's privilege and nothing else".

Mila: Edelgard, your strength and resolve will surely bear you fruit in a world reborn by your hand. But I can't help but wonder what kind of world will grow from the ruin of what came before. I only hope you do not regret your world once you've built it...

Because Seteth and Flayn are banished/killed in CF, I couldn't get their paired ending and had no way of knowing whether Edelgard really brought lasting peace or if she just used her power as supreme ruler to alter history in her favor.

Seteth & Flayn Flayn disappeared shortly after the war, but Seteth remained at the monastery as the Archbishop's assistant, working towards restoring the authority of the Church. The former strictness gave way to a more lenient approach in all matters, as the management policy shifted. Seteth relentlessly pursued reforms in doctrine that were in line with the times, ensuring clarity for the faithful before leaving the monastery. Centuries later, in a completely transformed Fódlan, a couple dressed in old-fashioned attire appeared. The woman asked the man beside her, "In this era, is it acceptable to address you as 'father'?" The man replied, "Wouldn't 'brother and sister' be more natural after all?"

Seteth's ending with Flayn is similar to his solo ending, but it goes a step further. It says he left the monastery when he was satisfied his message of tolerance had been received. And unlike in CF, he chooses to leave of his own free will. That's why it's the best ending for his character arc. He no longer feels the need to stay in a position of authority over humanity. He has completed his purpose and created a safe world for his daughter.

This ending might be the best ending in the whole game for Fódlan. It is the ONLY ending that states that it is a drastically different place several centuries in the future. It is significant that the Flayn/Seteth ending is not written from a historian's perspective, like most endings. Because they apparently went into hiding once again, their ending is from the perspective of living eyewitnesses.

#fe3h #fe3h meta #seteth #flayn #rhea fire emblem

[ink-flavored]

Reworking Justice

BTS Series: ⬅ Table of Contents - Introducing the Antagonists ➡ Also available on Neocities! P&J Taglist (Check out my Google form to get added): @elegant-paper-collection @auroblaze@zeenimf @vacantgodling @foxys-fantasy-tales Banner art by @auroblaze

There can be no evil without good, no Hell without Heaven, and no demon without an angel. Last time, I took you through my process of developing Pride’s new appearance and personality. Today, we’re going to do the same with Justice.

I won’t rehash everything I said in that post, but the long story short is I need to make original-Justice a distinct entity, in both appearance and personality, from fanfiction-Justice in order for the rest of the story to work. I’ll be documenting the process I went through to get from Point A to Point B, taking you through my thought process as a creative and discussing the changes I made.

In hindsight, I don’t think the outfit I chose completely fits his personality. I hadn’t come up with his personal style, so I’ll cut my past self some slack and pretend they’re his church clothes.

The first thing that’s obviously different is that I’ve made this Justice Black instead of Egyptian, which is a choice I made deliberately (I’ll get into it). I gave him long dreadlocks because they require a lot of maintenance and care, which is already a good indicator that he’s neat and dedicates himself. I also wanted to compare and contrast him with Pride as much as possible—they both keep their hair half-up, for example, but Justice has a neat bun and Pride has a messy ponytail. I gave him freckles on a whim, but since Heaven is in the sky, close to the sun and God, it makes for a cool “kissed by the sun/touched by God” symbol. The tiny wings and halo were the only angelic details available, and not at all what I had in mind, but they’re cute, so I included them. The apple was a little bit of wink-nudge for his role in the story—the Forbidden Fruit, disobeying God—since he abandons Heaven to help a demon escape his death sentence.

So, addressing that switch in ethnicity. Pride & Justice is going to take place in America, because I’m American and I know how to write it better, and will include explicit criticism of American Evangelical Christianity, among other things. However, I do want to make sure I’m not childishly positing that all religion is inherently bad, on purpose or on accident. Not all religions are Christianity, and a lot of Christians in America are not Evangelical, and demographically speaking, Black Americans are one of the most devout populations in the country. It would be extremely disingenuous of me not to include them in this conversation I’m having about the ways the (majority white) Evangelicals cause harm, because while their most obvious target these days is queer and trans people, it’s well known that they harm many people of color with their rhetoric too. I knew from the beginning I wanted to address this, and Justice is how I’m going to do that.

I chose him because there aren’t enough Black angels in media, and far, far too many Black demons—the reasons I’m not continuing that trend are, I hope, obvious. Justice deliberately leaves Heaven at the beginning of the story because of the harm it’s causing to innocent people (unjustly, one might say), but he remains devout from start to finish, finding his own path and using his faith to try and make things better. It’s going to be character building for him, and it’s going to be me gesturing to the fact that Evangelicals are choosing to act the way they do, and you can make different choices that don’t harm people. And finally, while a lot of queer people have divested from religion for plenty of very good reasons, not all of them do. There are plenty of religious queer people, and that reality is very often ignored or treated as strange—or worse, a betrayal. It’s not something that should be dismissed, especially because it harms a lot of already vulnerable people, closing them off from a community that’s supposed to be there for them.

Justice won’t be the only character who represents this position, of course. On Earth, he attends a Black church, and there will be multiple side characters in the form of his friends (including an overlap with Pride’s friends), regular church-goers, people he volunteers with, things like that. This means I will be doing a lot of research about historically Black churches, the people who attend them, and the communities they build. And hiring a sensitivity reader, but that won’t happen until I have a manuscript.

Onto some other details! I decided not to go with the traditional floating donut-shaped halo. Instead, a halo is a ring of light always shining behind the angel’s head—no matter which way they turn, it’s like a bright spotlight is hitting them from the other side, eternally glowing. I also love wings, so massive wings are also a required factor. I’ve thrown around the idea of making each angel have different shaped wings based on their role. So, for example, Justice is part of Heaven’s army, defending the Kingdom of God. His wings would be elliptical, the best shape for control and maneuverability, so he can fight in the air.

Like I mentioned in Pride’s post, this body belongs to Justice and Justice alone. Unlike the fanfiction, this version of the story gives them their own bodies that they always look like. It makes more sense for the rest of the story, and saves me the headache of having to come up with a reason why he’d even need to do that in the first place.

Next, his personality. I’m going to come right out and say I don’t think my depiction of fanfiction-Justice was in the best taste. While I was taking inspiration from the canon arc of Atem in Yu-Gi-Oh! where he develops a less vindictive sense of justice and learns compassion, I also recognize that making a Middle Eastern man be angry, violent, and be super ready to kill in the name of God is not a good depiction at all, and I should have been able to recognize that while I was writing it. So that’s totally on me.

Because of that mistake, I’m being extremely conscious about how I characterize Justice in the rework, considering that Black men have similarly dangerous stereotypes regarding violence, anger, and aggression. Not to mention that if I kept him exactly the same, I would be writing a white character explaining to a Black character why he shouldn’t be violent. That definitely falls into White Savior bullshit, as well as a lot of worse racism, so that needed to change right away.

The first thing I considered when making this change was what Justice’s role in Heaven would actually be. He’s the embodiment of God’s justice, the things that God has determined is right and wrong, what people deserve and what they don’t. He’s basically a holy lawyer, knowing all the ins and outs of what is worth forgiving and what isn’t. Justice has a very strong moral code—he was created for it—but is ultimately very kind. Love thy neighbor is one of God’s most absolute laws, after all, so it would only be just to love often and unconditionally. He’s quick to offer aid and forgiveness, above and beyond what’s required of him.

When it comes to the punishment aspect of his job, Justice only moves to enact it if it falls under the rules God has set out. This is also a point of tension for him. Justice seems to be the only angel in all of Heaven who thinks killing Pride would be unreasonably cruel—he’s a demon, but he’s ferrying one of God’s children, one that belongs in Heaven. Despite his protests that smiting Pride would be unjust, even if he’s a demon, nobody else cares.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I know I said that the soul Pride has with him is “supposed” to be in Heaven, but I’m changing it to be a little more ambiguous—with a reason! Justice will defend this soul that may not belong in Heaven, he would defend even the worst of humanity, because the right to a just life doesn’t discriminate on whether you’re a good or bad person. This is another reason he doesn’t get along with a ton of angels, which I’ll get into right now.

In that way, Justice is the odd one out among his angelic brethren. He follows his moral code—God’s moral code, that he was created to serve—almost too well, against the interests of the structure of Heaven as an institution. The other angels are happy to follow along, turn a blind eye to the way they might be hurting innocent people by mistake, but Justice isn’t. A lot of his superiors dislike him for that, and he’s had plenty of arguments with them about his ideas. Fortunately for Justice, he loves a good, healthy debate, and arguing his point in good faith is like a fun puzzle. Ironically, his opponents are hardly ever arguing in good faith.

Because Justice is basically purpose-built to serve God and follow the rules, he’s very paranoid about being perfect. Following God’s commands to the letter is all he knows, and retribution from Heaven is swift if he ever steps out of line. For centuries, he hasn’t been allowed to make a mistake, so when he gets to Earth after breaking a ton of those Heavenly rules… he has a bit of a crisis!

This is where his main character arc comes in. The ingrained dogma Justice was trained under, to follow the word of God to the letter with no exceptions, is at odds with his purpose of deciding what’s right and wrong. Through the course of the story, he develops his own sense of justice, still based on God’s word, but with the caveat that he will do what’s right and just before what’s ”correct.”

My wonderful girlfriend, AuroBlaze, helped me once again to solidify Justice’s final character design. While not shown here, another silly idea got added to his design. I’m taking inspiration from Good Omens for this story (you should read it if you haven’t), and I wanted to give a little nod to Aziraphale’s bookshop by having Justice attend a book club semi-regularly throughout the story. As a joke, I mentioned Justice would probably think humans with reading glasses were so cute that he’d get some for himself—even though his vision is perfect, and he’d have no reason to ever need glasses. I made it canon because not only is it adorable and hilarious, it also demonstrates Justice’s genuine love for humanity. He adores God’s children and wants to do right by them—which is why leaving Heaven was so hard. He thought Heaven was doing right by humanity, and was faced with stunning evidence to the contrary.

[Tumblr version] [Instagram version]

Welcome to the world, Justice! You’re such a sweetheart, I promise that sharing your existence with Pride won’t be exhausting forever.

Here are a few more fun facts I want to mention before the end of this post: Justice, like Pride, can choose to show or hide his wings, but his halo is on forever. It glows by absorbing nearby light, so it’s automatically dim in the dark because there’s no light for it to use. He also has his flaming wheel of fire and eyes form, but he doesn’t use it very often and can’t partially transform like Pride can. What he can do is summon a holy sword whenever he wants, as well as play a really sick harp solo.

Like last time, I won’t leave his queerness merely implied—Justice is bisexual, and it will be stated in-text without room for debate. This time, though, Justice has been kind enough to let me know he’s cis! So I don’t have a second Mystery Gender situation on my hands, though I do consider Justice’s cis-ness to be as important as any other aspect of him. Having a cis Black man be unabashedly gentle and kind, while still giving him the capacity to be angry without making it his entire personality, is something I’m trying to do on purpose in this story. Men of any race have trouble being depicted as soft and sweet, and men of color especially risk any show of negative emotion branding them as dangerous or predatory, and I want to do my best not to perpetuate those harmful ideas here. There are trans Black characters in the story, because I’m definitely not leaving that gaping hole of representation missing, but creating a spectrum is my ultimate goal.

Another huge post for you all! I invite any comments about anything I’m doing here, because it requires a lot of stepping outside my comfort zone, a million hours of research, and fucking up a few dozen times before I get it right.

Thanks for your support, and see you next time for more Behind The Scenes action!

— Annika

#original writing #original fiction #original character #original characters #spilled ink #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community #annika talks #Justice #P&J #Pride & Justice #P&J: Worldbuilding

[dr-cruces]

Could you please say more about Judas and Jesus being shown *giving birth* in medieval art??? This is blowing my mind in the best way

This has been rotting in my inbox for so long, my deepest apologies, Thank you for giving me a proper excuse to talk about this.

Also, not a scholar so don't take this as gospel. (lol)

TW: suicide, crucifixion, birth, gore?

First, a little bit of history about C-sections during the 15th century. They were only performed if the mother was dead and the child was still believed to be alive, a last resort. The Jewish people at the time did not view it positively, as it was deemed not natural. However, Christians saw the survival of a C-section as a miracle of sorts. Also, there were rising tensions between the Catholic Church and Everyone Else because of a fear of religious corruption. In this, C-sections became politicized, christians born from C-sections were considered miracles, however they viewed C-sections from jewish people to be of the devil. So, thus we have our Judas and Jesus in the eyes of the church.

Jesus & the Church & Motherhood.

Medieval Christians became obsessed with Jesus' side wound, trying to figure out a meaning. Early female medieval writers saw a connection between his wound and it being described as 'spilling blood and water'. Which also continued into his maternity, as Jesus gave birth to the church:

His side wound became so significant, that it was being drawn separately from him, vertically. A vulva. This image was put in prayer books to meditate on, drawn on pregnancy girdles to ensure a healthy birth. Almost worshiping the wound separately from Jesus because it held a different significance.

Birth from Jesus depicts a version of rebirth as well as a tribute to motherhood and its attributed sacrifices. It's becoming anew, filled with the holy spirit or whatever. Cleansed of your sins. Definitely viewed in a heroic, or miracle-like, manner to call back.

Jesus' birthing also serves to have him surpass gender, becoming something holy by not adhering to normal gender roles. Congratulated for exploring gender, and this would continue with later saints.

Judas & the Antichrist.

So, some attribute this depiction of his death to a combination of Judas' mentioned hanging and a bursting of bowels (Matthew 27:5 and Acts 1:18).

However, as previously mentioned due to the tensions at the time, C-sections were not held in high favor among the Jewish at the time. Early christians also knew this, knowing it’s shameful and being relatively antisemitic, we now have Judas getting a C-section. I think it would add to his death for medieval artists since he was supposed to be the Biggest Bad. Usually, I assume they’re trying to shame him in death with the many depictions of combining his ‘deaths’ and in general trying to make him look like the worst person ever. Very much spitting on the grave. Although, in this painting, I'm not sure who the devil is pulling out? It is either Judas' soul or the antichrist. Either way, very much impure.

The End.

So yeah, Judas and Jesus are back at it diametrically opposing each other because one is inherently evil and the other good. To me, it's so fun to watch them run around and be political puppets and propaganda. I think it's the dedication that gets me, they were so committed to having This Guy be good or evil they made them both pregnant.

...

Citations & in case you want to read more:

Jesus had a vagina according to medieval Christian mysticism, by Spencer McDaniel.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, specifically the essays of Sophie Sexon.

Judas The Most Hated Name in History, by Peter Stanford. Cesarean Section and Religious Hierarchies in Fifteenth-Century Europe, by Isobel Mouat.

(I haven't read this one but it's mentioned a couple times in a few articles so I'm including it anyway VVV)

Jesus as Mother: Studies in the Spirituality of the High Middle Ages, by Walker Bynum.

In closing, if there’s anything i’ve messed up on or someone would like to add to this niche thing, I’d be more than delighted to hear it. ^^!!

#tw suicide #tw crucifixtion #tw birth #tw gore #Happy Good Friday!!

[hello-i-exist]

An Analysis on my Favorite Ship of all time. (It's Edelclaude. Duh.)

Let's think a little about this relationship, shall we? But first, we need to establish who the two of them are before we can go deeper into what they could have been.

Let's start with Edelgard. Here's what I think of Edelgard: She's an impossibly determined individual. Think about it- No matter what choice Byleth/Shez makes, nothing can make her leave her ideals behind. It would take nothing more than death to stop her, and I suspect that would hold true even if she lost everything- She would build up her own army, without the support of the empire, seeking like-minded individuals across Fodlan. However, despite how dedicated she seems to waging war, she's still an incredibly caring and even trusting person, which is what leads to her so often disagreeing with Hubert's murder attempts. For example: Despite all the red flags that Shez shows, she continually lets them keep their high-standing rank. This is a decision Hubert majorly disagrees with, yet she repeatedly reaffirms her trust in them, and, fortunately for her, Shez is The Protagonist, and therefore does not betray her. She's also quite the excellent judge of character. She's able to peg Claude for being smarter than he acts pretty quickly. But she is quick to judge if somebody is too dedicated to the Church or the Noblility system. She appreciates hard work, and people who are willing to choose an ideal and stick by it. Edelgard is very sure in her identity, except for how she's an optimist trying to be a pessimist. Now, here's something that I think some people may disagree with- Edelgard is terrible at seeing consequences. That's a pretty wild thing to say, but hear me out- While all her talk of permanently removing the crest system is big, and she does have plans to do it, she doesn't seem to realize that: A. Waging a war won't make her very popular, and will thus make people- Even smart and understanding ones- less likely to listen to her; B. Forcefully imposing her changes won't last very long, as the moment somebody who doesn't agree with them comes into power, they'll just change them to fit their ideals in such a way that they can't be changed back; C. Destroying the Church of Seiros cuts off a massive source of supplies for a massive chunk of the continent, and alienates all of the believers who may have potentially supported her; D. Denouncing the Church of Seiros also counts as denouncing all the good they do, meaning orphanages, refugees, and much more. She actively sabotages her own war and ideals without realizing, and doesn't realize because the full scope of the consequences never cross her mind. Her whole spiel about 'the deaths will be worth it in the end' is a perfect example of that- What if she fails? What happens then?

Now for Claude. Here's what I think of Claude: Paranoid. Incredibly paranoid. But people already know that- It's a pretty obvious fact about him, and one of the first things we learn about him. So, let's go a bit more in-depth. Claude is ambitious. He sees powerful opponents and society's views as obstacles to overcome, but his morals can be offset by seeing people as obstacles as well. Speaking of Morals, Claude isn't as steadfast in his morals than most people think. While he sees killing as something that should only really be done when necessary, that idea is worn down over the course of the war, but only if Byleth isn't present. Do remember, Shez isn't quite the beacon of morality and perfect support that Byleth is. Claude is also a fantastic judge of character- Even better than Edelgard, in my opinion. For example, he sees the potential in Hilda despite her rampant racism, though he does sometimes make assumptions based on preconceptions, like when he assumes Cyril knows his true identity. Claude, unlike Edelgard, is uncomfortable in his identity, and similarly enough, is a pessimist trying to be a realist.

All that to say this: Claude and Edelgard go very well together, encourage each other's positive traits, and help to reduce their negative traits. Edelgard is a trusting individual. Claude is not. She would either allow him- or force him- to open up to more people than he normally would. Claude, meanwhile, would help to keep Edelgard's morals in check. In all of the routes Byleth is not present to keep her in check, Edelgard's morals degrade- But none as much as Azure Moon, where Edelgard's greatest rival, aka Dimitri, claims Byleth for his class. In the long-term, she ends up allowing more Agarthan assistance into her army and the Empire, and doing more morally-dubious things. Essentially, without the help of a steady hand, she'll slowly degrade in morality. Now, before, I mentioned that Claude's morality would degrade similarly- However, that wasn't all of it. In Golden Wildfire, when everyone tells him off for letting Randolph die, he immediately thanks them all for letting him know, and tries to correct his behavior. So long as he has somebody to let him know, he'll try his hardest to keep hold of his morals- And Edelgard is the perfect benchmark. Any time she'd make a morally dubious action, he'd be there to correct her. As for ambitions and ideals- Both of them are surprisingly similar in that regard! Claude is much more focused on the specifics, while on the other hand, Edelgard is a much more wide thinker. He sees the trees, she sees the forest. He helps her see the consequences in every act. Also they understand and help each other heal from their traumas :) I have more to say but this is already long enough, and I think I got most of my point across: Edelclaude is great.

#edelclaude #fire emblem edelgard #edelgard von hresvelg #fire emblem claude #claude von riegan #serious talk

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

23rd April >> Fr. Martin's Reflections / Homilies on Today's Mass Readings (Inc. John 10:22-30) for Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter: ‘The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’.

Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Gospel (Except USA) John 10:22-30 The Father and I are one.

It was the time when the feast of Dedication was being celebrated in Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the Temple walking up and down in the Portico of Solomon. The Jews gathered round him and said, ‘How much longer are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.’ Jesus replied:

‘I have told you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name are my witness; but you do not believe, because you are no sheep of mine. The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. I give them eternal life; they will never be lost and no one will ever steal them from me. The Father who gave them to me is greater than anyone, and no one can steal from the Father. The Father and I are one.’

Gospel (USA) John 10:22-30 The Father and I are one.

The feast of the Dedication was taking place in Jerusalem. It was winter. And Jesus walked about in the temple area on the Portico of Solomon. So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, “How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” Jesus answered them, “I told you and you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify to me. But you do not believe, because you are not among my sheep. My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. No one can take them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one can take them out of the Father’s hand. The Father and I are one.”

Reflections (14)

(i) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

The first reading describes a significant moment in the life of the early church, the preaching of the gospel to pagans for the first time, in the city of Antioch. Up until that moment, all the disciples of Jesus were Jews. The leaders of the church in Jerusalem had to discern whether this new development in Antioch was the work of the Holy Spirit, or just a human aberration. As part of their discerning, they sent one of their members, Barnabas, to look carefully at what was happening in Antioch. He was sent because he was known to be a good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and faith. A person filled with the Holy Spirit was likely to discern whether or not this novelty was the work of the Spirit. Barnabas immediately recognized that God was at work here. He not only gave them all every encouragement, he set out for Tarsus to bring Paul to Antioch, because he could see that this new development in Antioch was ripe for Paul’s gifts. Paul and Barnabas went on to spend twelve months together in that church. According to the reading, it was in Antioch that the followers of Jesus were first called ‘Christians’. People began to see that this movement wasn’t just a particular branch of Judaism. The Lord is always doing something new among us, and we all need to discern the ways the Lord is leading the church, especially in these times. To do that well, we need a listening ear, an ear and an eye that is open to the surprising ways of the Spirit. As Jesus says in the gospel reading, those ‘who belong to me listen to my voice’. People like Barnabas, who are in tune with the working of the Spirit among us, are an invaluable asset as we try to discern where the Lord is leading us. The Lord will always provide such people at times of transition, like the present time. Indeed, he invites each of us to become such a person.

And/Or

(ii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

The phenomenon of theft is much more common than it used to be. We are much more security conscious than we were in the past. We generally think of the phenomenon of stealing in relation to things, to objects of various kinds. We also know that people can be stolen. We refer to this as kidnapping or people trafficking. When this happens people are being treated as objects or things. In the gospel reading this morning, Jesus declares that on one will ever steal one of his followers from him or from his heavenly Father. Jesus seems to be saying there that if we continue to seek to follow him, he will hold onto us. He is speaking here as the good Shepherd who is prepared to lay down his life so that the members of his flock can have life and have it to the full. There are no lengths to which the Lord will not go to hold onto us, to keep us in relationship with him. There are forces in the world that seek to undermine that relationship and even destroy it. Jesus was very aware of that reality. That is why he taught us to pray, ‘Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil’. Yet this morning’s gospel assures us that the Lord’s hold on us is stronger than the forces which seek to remove us from him. All he asks is that we keep listening to his voice and keep trying to follow him. If we do that we can be sure that we will never lose the firm hold of the good Shepherd.

And/Or

(iii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In this morning’s gospel reading Jesus speaks as the shepherd who looks after each member of his flock and keeps them all united to himself. He says that ‘they will never be lost and no one will ever steal them from me’. He is declaring there that if we do our best to keep following him, if we keep on trying to listen to his voice, he will keep us faithful to himself. He will not allow the forces that are hostile to our relationship with him to get the better of us. Just as shepherd will not allow any of his flock to be stolen, because he is so protective of them, the Lord will not allow us to fall away from him, because he is so protective of us, as long as we want to remain a member of his flock and do not deliberately walk away from him. The gospel reading suggests that just as a shepherd holds his flock together, it is the Lord who holds the church together, the community of his followers. His investment in us will always be greater than our investment in him. We are being reminded that the life of the church and the quality of our own personal relationship with the Lord is not all down to us. Yes, we have a role to play; we have to listen to his voice and endeavour to go where he leads. Yet, his work on our behalf is always more significant than our work on his behalf.

And/Or

(iv) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In the gospel reading Jesus declares that no one will steal his disciples from him. It is a very reassuring promise for all of us. Jesus is speaking as the good shepherd who defends the members of his flock in times of danger, who stands up against the thieves and robbers who intend to do harm to the flock. He is the good shepherd who is prepared to put his life on the line for his flock. Indeed he has already done so, laying down his life so that we may have life and have it to the full. We seek to follow the Lord in the knowledge that he will stop at nothing to ensure that we remain members of his flock, people who belong to his new family, the community of believers we call the church. Saint Paul had that same conviction which he expressed in his letter to the Romans when he said, ‘If God is for us, who is against us?’ God is for us in and through Jesus our good shepherd. The Lord will not allow anything or anyone to come between himself and ourselves. We have a part to play, of course. We need to listen to his voice and to keep him in view so that we can take our lead from him. Yet, the Lord’s part in our relationship with him is always so much greater than ours. Therein lies our confidence, especially in times of struggle and failure.

And/Or

(v) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Barnabas who appears in this morning’s first reading from the Acts of the Apostles is one of the most attractive characters in the New Testament. Barnabas was a nick name; it meant ‘Son of Encouragement’. He had a reputation for encouraging people. That is very evident from that reading we have heard this morning. When something new was happening in the city of Antioch, when pagans were coming to believe in Jesus as well as Jews, Barnabas was sent down from Jerusalem to look at what was happening. He like what he saw and gave them all great encouragement, urging them all to remain faithful to the Lord. He immediately went off to Tarsus to look for Saul, or Paul, who had recently come to faith in Christ and Barnabas encouraged him to go to Antioch and support this new development there. Paul went on to become a leading member of the church in Antioch. Barnabas was what we would call today, an enabler. That is part of the calling of each one of us. We are called to encourage one another in the faith, to help one another to grow in our relationship with the Lord, to enable one another to be faithful. That ministry of mutual encouragement was very important in the early church and is just as important today.

And/Or

(vi) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Barnabas features prominently in today’s first reading. He is described there as a good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and with faith. He was a leader of the church in Jerusalem and he approved very much of what he saw happening in the church of Antioch where the gospel was being preached not only to Jews but to pagans as well. He was also someone who had the insight to see that this new and exciting development in the church of Antioch was the perfect place for the recently converted Saul to exercise his gifts. Barnabas introduced Saul to the church in Antioch and Saul went on to become a leading member of that church, and the church became an important spiritual home for Saul. Barnabas was one of those people who made way for others, who have the generosity of spirit to see that that a certain situation could benefit from the gifts of someone else. Today we might call such a person a facilitator or an enabler of others. We all have a role to play in calling forth the gifts of others by recognizing situations that would be ideally suited to them and by creating space for them in which to work. The Lord may not be calling on us to take on some particular work but he may be calling on us to encourage someone else to take it on, as Barnabas encouraged Paul.

And/Or

(vii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus tells the Jews that the works he does in his Father’s name are his witness; what he does bears witness to his identity as the one sent from God. We bear witness to Jesus by what we say, but above all by what we do, by our works. In the first reading we have a good example of someone who bears witness to Jesus by his works. In Antioch Barnabas witnessed the new development of a community of believers consisting of both Jews and Gentiles. He then travelled all the way to Tarsus to encourage Paul to come to Antioch and to work among the believers there. Barnabas saw that the new development in Antioch was a great opportunity for Paul to use his gifts and he obviously saw that the church in Antioch could greatly benefit from Paul’s gifts. Barnabas linked a person and a place to the mutual benefit of both. This work of Barnabas allowed the risen Lord to continue his work. We all have opportunities from time to time to create openings for people that allow the Lord’s work to be done. Creating such openings for others is just one example of the many good works we can do that bear witness to the Lord.

And/Or

(viii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Many of us are concerned about break-ins at the moment. We are anxious lest someone might steal from us. We take various security precautions to prevent that from happening. In the gospel reading this morning, Jesus makes reference to stealing. He declares that no one will ever steal his followers from him. It is as if Jesus is saying that he has such a strong grip on his followers that no one will ever take them from him against his will. When you reflect on that saying of Jesus, it is indeed very reassuring. Jesus will do all in his power to keep us united with himself and to prevent us from being taken away from him or falling away from him. Yet, there is something that we must do as well. In the gospel reading, Jesus also declares, ‘The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’. We need to pay attention, in some way, to the Lord. We try to hear what he may be saying to us; we seek to follow where he is leading us. If we do that, the gospel reading suggests that we can be assured that the Lord will do the rest. The Lord’s contribution to the relationship between us and him is much more significant than ours. Our ultimate salvation is much more the Lord’s doing than ours. Therein lies our confidence and hope.

And/Or

(ix) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Barnabas features in this morning’s first reading. According the Acts of the Apostles, the name Barnabas means ‘son of encouragement’. It was a kind of a nickname given to him because he had a reputation for giving encouragement to others. He was an enabler; he brought out the best in others. We see that gift of Barnabas at work in this morning’s reading. Following on his conversion, Paul had returned to Tarsus, his home city. Barnabas could see that the emergence of a new kind of the church in Antioch, a mixed church of Jews and Gentiles, was crying out for someone like Paul, a Jew who had become the apostle to the Gentiles. Barnabas brought Paul from Tarsus to Antioch. Paul went on to make an important contribution to the life of the church in Antioch, and the church there, in turn, was a great support to Paul in his future missionary work. We all have the potential to be a Barnabas, to open doors for others so that the Lord can work powerfully through them. It takes a certain amount of humility to make way for the gifts of others. John the Baptist was such a person; he made way for Jesus, just as Barnabas made way for Paul. As parishioners of the parish of St John the Baptist, we might think of ourselves as having a special calling to enable, to encourage, using our own gifts while also making way for the gifts of others.

And/Or

(x) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In today’s gospel reading, Jesus speaks as the shepherd who will never allow any of his sheep to be stolen from him. Jesus invites us to imagine a shepherd who will stop at nothing to prevent any would-be thief from stealing even one sheep from his flock. It is an image that speaks to us of the Lord’s determination to hold onto us and prevent us from becoming separated from him. It is a consolation to know that the Lord is so devoted to us and so committed to our well-being, and, in particular, our ultimate well-being, our eternal well-being. As Jesus says in that gospel reading, ‘I give them eternal life’. Yet, we are not just passive sheep. When it comes to the Lord’s relationship with us, there is a role for us as well. The Lord will do all he can to hold onto us but we also have our part to play. In that gospel reading, Jesus declares that ‘the sheep who belong to me listen to my voice… they follow me’. The Lord is very attentive to us, but we need to attend to him as well. We try to listen to his voice, especially as it comes to us in the words of the gospels, of the New Testament as a whole, and, indeed, in all of the Scriptures. There are many voices competing for our attention today, but in the midst of them all we need to be attentive to the voice of the Lord so that we can follow him each day. We listen to him, we follow him, in the confidence that his devotion to us and to our ultimate well-being is unconditional.

And/Or

(xi) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Today’s first reading makes reference to the persecution of the early church. After the execution of Stephen, the church in Jerusalem experienced a time of persecution. As a result, many of the Jewish Christians there had to flee from the city. Yet, Luke, who wrote the Acts of the Apostles, highlights that this experience of persecution was actually a blessing for the church. Some of those who fled Jerusalem brought the gospel to places where it had not been preached, including the city of Antioch, where the gospel was preached for the first time to pagans. As a result of the success of this mission, Barnabas came from Jerusalem to Antioch to give encouragement to this new development, and, in his wisdom, he went to Tarsus and brought Saul to Antioch, recognizing that this was a church where someone like Saul or Paul could flourish. Barnabas was proved right. The church of Antioch became Paul’s spiritual home and the base for his missionary journeys. So, according to Luke, great good came from the persecution of the church in Jerusalem. Difficult times for the church can often be moments of renewal, of new and unexpected growth. The Lord works in life-giving ways in what can seem to be desolate places. Resistance, even hostility, to the church’s message can allow the Lord to work in new ways. In the gospel reading, Jesus speaks out of an experience of resistance on the part of some to what he says and does. Yet, as Jesus declares there, ‘the Father… is greater than anyone’. God’s work will not ultimately be derailed. This realization can keep us hopeful and energized in difficult times.

And/Or

(xii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

It is a great gift to be able to recognize the good that the Lord is doing through someone or some group and then to encourage it along. This is what we find Barnabas doing in today’s first reading. News reached the church in Jerusalem that something unexpected was happening. In the city of Antioch, the gospel was being preached to pagans, and they were responding in large numbers. Up until that point, the church had been Jewish Christian; the disciples of Jesus were all Jews. The church in Jerusalem needed to check out this new and unforeseen development, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. The first reading says that when Barnabas got there, ‘he could see for himself that God had given grace, and this pleased him’, and he went on to give encouragement to what was happening. The Lord was moving the young church in a new direction and Barnabas recognized this and supported it. Every so often the Lord prompts the church to take a new step beyond where it has been. He calls on us to break new ground, to grow in new ways, as individual believers and as a community of faith. As such times, we need people like Barnabas who recognize that the Lord is behind this new direction and who encourage us to trust that the Lord is present in what is happening. In the gospel reading, Jesus, speaking as the good shepherd, says ‘the sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’. We are always trying to listen to the Lord’s voice so as to discern where he is leading us, the new directions that he is taking us in. There is always another step that the Lord is calling us to take. He can be speaking to us through new and unforeseen situations, such as the one in which we find ourselves at the moment. We all need something of the vision of Barnabas to see how the Lord is working in such unexpected and unplanned developments.

And/Or

(xiii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In today’s gospel reading Jesus declares, ‘the sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’. An essential element of following Jesus is listening to his voice. We are to be constantly asking ourselves, ‘What is the Lord saying to us? What is he saying to me?’ This is the action of discernment. We try to discern, in the circumstances of our day to day lives, what the Lord is asking of us, the path he wants us to take. The first reading suggests that Barnabas knew how to listen to the voice of the shepherd. When the gospel was first preached to non-Jews in the city of Antioch, and a new kind of local church began to be formed consisting of both Jews and pagans, the church in Jerusalem decided to send Barnabas to Antioch to investigate this new development. When he got there, according to the reading, ‘he could see for himself that God had given grace’. He discerned that this unexpected development was from God and that the Lord was asking him to support what was happening in Antioch. This Barnabas proceeded to do, urging the whole church to remain faithful to the Lord. Barnabas continued to listen to what the Lord was saying to him. He discerned that Paul who had recently encountered the risen Lord just outside Damascus would be the ideal person to give leadership to the church in Antioch. After all, Paul knew the Lord was calling him to be the apostle to the Gentiles and here was a church with a significant number of Gentile converts. So, Barnabas went to Tarsus and brought Paul with him back to Antioch, where Paul became a significant presence in that church. Barnabas inspires us to keep listening to what the Lord may be saying to us in and through the circumstances of our daily lives. It is said of Barnabas in that reading that he was ‘filled with the Holy Spirit’. It is the Holy Spirit who helps us to discern what the Lord is saying to us. If we really listen to the Lord with the help of the Holy Spirit, the Lord will work through us in ways that build up the church and enrich our world, just as he worked through Barnabas.

And/Or

(xiv) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

The first reading describes a significant moment in the life of the early church, the preaching of the gospel to pagans for the first time, in the city of Antioch. Up until that moment, all the disciples of Jesus were Jews. The leaders of the church in Jerusalem had to discern whether this new development in Antioch was the work of the Holy Spirit, or just a human aberration. As part of their discerning, they sent one of their member, Barnabas, to check out what was happening in Antioch. He was sent because he was known to be a good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and faith. A person filled with the Holy Spirit was likely to discern whether or not this novelty was the work of the Spirit. Barnabas immediately recognized that God was at work here. He not only gave them all every encouragement, he set out for Tarsus to bring Paul to Antioch, because he could see that this new development in Antioch was ripe for Paul’s gifts. Paul and Barnabas went on to spend twelve months together in that church. According to the reading, it was in Antioch that the followers of Jesus were first called ‘Christians’. People began to see that this movement wasn’t just a particular branch of Judaism. The Lord is always doing something new among us, and we all need to discern the ways the Lord is leading the church, especially in these times. To do that well, we need a listening ear, an ear and an eye that is open to the surprising ways of the Spirit. As Jesus says in the gospel reading, those ‘who belong to me listen to my voice’. People like Barnabas who are in tune with the working of the Spirit among us are an invaluable asset as we try to discern where the Lord is leading us. The Lord will always provide such people at times of transition, like the present time. Indeed, he invites each of us to become such a person.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[watchmorecinema]

The Exorcist is a brilliant, brilliant piece of horror, but it only works because it's a brilliant drama first. The Exorcism, which the entire marketing and title is based around, doesn't happen until 90 minutes into a 122 minute movie. Instead William Friedkin takes his time setting up the story and characters.

Chris and her daughter Regan get significant screentime dedicated to their relationship. Regan is a bit precocious, asking if her mother is attracted t the director of the film she's appearing in. Chris screams over the phone, attempting to get her ex-husband to just say happy birthday to Regan, while she secretly overhears the entire thing. When the possession begins it's very credibly treated as just some strange illness. Chris rushes Regan to doctors, psychiatrists and specialists of every type before even considering going to the church for help.

Meanwhile Father Damien Karras is a priest dealing with a crisis of faith. He's not sure of his own purpose within the church. His mother lives in a shabby apartment a squalid part of LA. Part of him wishes that he didn't ever have any moral convictions; if he never went into the seminary he could have had enough money to treat his mother to a much better life and find fulfillment in some other way. But he feels trapped; the psychology skills he has were paid for and supported by the church, and he isn't quite ready to turn his back on them. He still does his duties, but in a detached matter of fact way. He tells a police officer that he would never turn a murderer in if they talked to him during confession, but it's not out of any particular religious or spiritual conviction. It's simply part of the job, same as how a janitor feels about scraping gum from under kid's desks.

When these stories come together it's not exciting, but a slow rising of tension. Karras doubts that Regan is possessed, but he begins to notice little inconsistencies with her story. He thinks that exorcisms are just superstition, but decides to maybe believe in his faith a little bit and consider that a demon is really there, in front of him.

The exorcism doesn't begin until Father Merrin, an experienced exorcist, arrives and at this point we see things shift rapidly. Merrin begins to mentor Karras and help bring back the faith, belief and conviction he used to have. Chris finally feels that someone is listening to her and believes her pleas.

The exorcism itself is a messy, chaotic affair. The priests are barely able to hold against the evil before them, and the demon inside Regan is doing everything it can to terrify and demoralize the priests. 50 years on the special effects and editing are still truly frightening, but even now the story isn't really about the demon. It's still about the priest trying to find his faith again, and a woman doing everything she possibly can for her daughter. Both characters are looking for redemption for what they consider to be their personal failings, and Regan's possession is simply a means to do so.

Even if horror just isn't your thing please seek this film out. This movie is just too damn good to be kept at arm's length.

#movie #cinema #film #william friedkin #the exorcist #william peter blatty #William Peter Blatty wrote this and directed Exorcist III and the Ninth Configuration with no prior experience #This is why the recent Exorcist film is just boring; the actual possession and exorcism is not the point. It never was

[uss-edsall]

One thing I've liked with fallout 76, it's got good decent environmental storytelling in it. It's better at it than Fallout 3, 4, dare I say even New Vegas in some cases.

Fallout is famous for an environmental storytelling thing. It's all of the skeletons who are found in funny poses, or all the teddy bears found in weird places with weird things. They are more injokes than anything else. What they imply is that in a world so full of corpses and shattered civilisation, still picking up the pieces two hundred years later, respect for the dead is wholly gone - life can be ended in a blink and raiders especially would move skeletons into odd positions for their own amusement. Particularly in some places, they don't even care enough to sweep the skeletons out of the building. Unfortunately, this is so prevalent it stops being meaningful and comes off as just a dumb joke, but it's the best example of 'environmental storytelling everyone knows about'

I can point to two games immediately which have setpieces that give good environmental storytelling: Halo 3 ODST and, oddly, ArmA III's singleplayer components

Halo 3 ODST is built on this. The entire thing is in some form "The Rookie is using the shattered debris of the city to make a fanfic of what he thinks happened to his squad." There's at least one sequence in Buck's mission where you can find a shotgun at the end of a hallway, with a dead marine and several dead brutes. Hmm, wonder what happened there

ArmA III… -Contact DLC has some interesting environmental stuff. You can find a dead body on a road with a blood trail back to an unlucky squad, in the midst of which a meteorite landed, with one (mortally wounded) person surviving the initial impact. Additionally you can repeatedly encounter the spetsnaz team you later ally with, doing shifty things -A scenario added as part of a part-celebration and part-charity drive includes a small church. If you approach it you suddenly hear a pair of gunshots, and you can find two dead officers (which is automatically radioed in, and dismissed as two war criminals who probably saved the executioners a bullet) - and they have a written note that sheds doubt on the righteousness of your cause -The Laws of War DLC is really good for this too - it's about picking up the pieces and deciphering what exactly happened in this one town.

Anyway, going back to 76. All four of the modern fallout games - 3, NV, 4, 76 - depict the remnants of the nuclear war. 76, being set in 2102 just 25 years after the war, has the best possibilities for this, as not too much has been disturbed, not too much has changed, like the rest that are set two centuries later. They clearly recognised this too and put in great effort on it. On the nuclear side of things: vehicles in a traffic jam trying to get to vault 76; crashed vehicles. The number of APCs with open rears: they would've been shielded from the initial blasts inside of these CBRN-capable vehicles. At least one site where there's a dead soldier's body, on an overlook, situated where they could've looked out at one beautiful view one last time. For a less military focus, all of the signs in Beckley, the destruction clearly related to the violent suppression of a Union protest; the massacre of Watoga a day before the nukes flew after an attempt to subvert the robots gone wrong; the sheer devastation of the area dedicated to mining as nobody was around to tell the automated machines to 'stop', etc A sign on the side of a piece of large electronic equipment saying "this does not have a brain, use your own" because yeah, robobrains exist, the robots themselves are practically AIs, that's a kind of warning you need in an environment of mass automation

I'd say this emphasis on environment to tell story is largely because of how 76 was designed. It was initially built to not have humans, right? Only machines, if I recall correctly. So how do they compensate for the loss of human NPCs? (The answer is they couldn't and added them back in, but nonetheless) Part of it was putting in more focus on environmental storytelling. It's a little thing, and in the grand scheme of things it's not all that important. But it's a part of games' details I really like

Environmental storytelling is best described as "a story that is willing to let you miss it" but I always feel excited when I notice something.

#long post

[corsey]

@midcenturies

Send in a muse dynamic and I'll tell you what I like about it

BEATRÍZ AND DANIEL

So, annoyingly, we're on the same page with our takes all of the time.

I like that 'when they are together they are their childhood selves on stilts and a trench coat trying to play the family they wanted as children.'

During their first interactions we established very quickly that they have these intrusive visions of the other as young and there being a strange intimate feeling about this despite the fact that they are meeting for the first time as two fully formed adults. Beatríz recognises him from the photographs in Filomena's home from when he was a baby to a young adult and pretty much know everything about him and the thinks she doesn't know, she can fill in his blanks pretty quickly by instinct. Daniel imagines - or sees - Beatríz as one of the girls who used to play hopscotch in his neighbourhood - or her real neighbourhood in puerto rico. It's unclear because I can't remember so I'm saying that happened.

Beatríz - ice queen - is comfortable enough to be playful like she was before the horrors. Daniel - de niro frown - can be Danny Zuko.

I like that when they're together they tend to have some kind of white on their persons or there's something white, or bright, in the background.

The white is a motif relating to purity and spirituality. In their eyes, it marks them out as husband and wife in a better world, in a spiritual world, if somehow the universe had bent over backwards and placed them together in different contexts that they would be happy together.

I love it when we both juxtapose this white with shadows (them first kissing and the train passing by, shrouding them in shadow, Bea seeing the white in Daniel's hair change from black to white and black again in the light, or his collar sort of hanging out of his back suit and adjusting it, or Daniel noticing the white of her mantilla and then being unable to see her face because her back is to the sun and she is covered in shadow) because it reminds us that at the end of the day, these are two people who are having an affair who shouldn't be having an affair.

The white is used when they are justifying to themselves that they should be together, like it's a sign from God/the universe. However, the shadow grounds us in reality again as it's proof of their material existence and circumstances, and that it's bad to cheat.

I like that they both very actively choose to belong to organisations that are deeply corrupt.

She agreed to marry a dangerous man who would help him get rid her husband's body, and lift her out of poverty. He saw a lot of friends get arrested or eaten up by drugs and, out of cowardice and self interest and betrayal of his friends, agreed to join the Catholic church to escape his situation but lied to himself that he would come back for his mother once he'd made something of himself, thereby making a very sacred vow for very profane reasons.

I like that they both know that they entered into their promises dishonestly and/or immorally but I feel like they see doubling down on their vows and taking on sooooo much responsibility as their only atonement and salvation.

They believe their loyalties to their marriages (to the mob, to the church) are virtuous and superhuman and prove their dedication and goodness to God. Recognising this in one another is exactly why they are attracted to one another.

We make a joke about how we stage them in each scene so that they simply will not give each other eye contact but its so important.

It's a sign of trust between two adults who have taken on so many burdens and responsibilities and who cannot slip up, not once, not even long enough to look at the person that they are having an affair with whilst their real lives are running through their minds, constantly, that it's like you could photoshop them spinning plates and it would be no less serious or true.

I like that they are loyal people but who are delusional and bend that definition of loyalty towards their affair/one another, until the birth of Belên.

Belên is the best that they have done to make the world a better place. She also made their world a better place by briefly shaking them out of their delusions. After she was born they realise that really they are very different people but who inevitably redeemed themselves. Daniel would have ended his vows so that they could be a real family but Beatríz would not. She was the pragmatist who did not want her family's life to fall apart nor be unable to provide a decent quality of life for her children. Daniel finally proved that he was capable of a good Godly decision but it was one that came too late and was too idealistic and he inevitably went back with his tail between his legs to the church.

I just like them being miserable together in their main verses/storyline and literally picture perfect/happily ever after in the other verses. If I talked about their dynamic and why I like that in the other verses this post would be dashboard length so let's not.

#*Beatríz #*Daniel headcanons #Re: Beatríz and Daniel #ooc #*Answered #what i like is being given any opportunity to talk about them like a The Take video #Long post

[championsofthegate]

Elysia Amell

Name: Elysia Amell

Race: human

Class: Storm Sorcerer/Cleric of Mystra

Background: Sage

Patron Goddess: Mystra

Alignment: Neutral Good

Age: 30 (during da origins she's 20, inquisition she's 30)

Height: 5'2"

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: biromantic/bisexual

Personality

Charming in an almost effortless way. Playful and flirtatious, but capable of taking things seriously when necessary. Prefers to talk her way out of problems when she can. Can usually tell when someone is trying to manipulate her and has no problem trying to manipulate them back. Slow to let her guard down and let people in.

Background

Born and raised in a splinter cult of the Church of Cyric, Elysia witnessed some truly awful things growing up, things she’s never confessed to anyone. Surrounded by paranoia and narcissism on all sides, she longed for safety and stability. But she played the game well, acting her part as another power hungry patron of the church, using her powers as a sorcerer, when she came into her magic, to throw her weight around in a way that pleased her elders and left her mostly alone.

One day, a paladin showed up in town, and they struck up a friendship. She was mostly allowed to do as she pleased at that time, and was slowly squirreling away money so she could travel to Waterdeep and book passage to get as far away as possible. When she found out he was a paladin of Lathander, she begged him to leave, to get as far away as he could before the others found out.

But he’d sworn an oath to help her escape, and refused to abandon her. When the Church found out they were speaking, she was punished, locked away in the compound and not allowed to leave. The paladin was captured, and the only way she could regain their trust was by sacrificing him.

She refused.

They made her watch as they sacrificed him instead. In her distress she called out for Mystra, having learned from the paladin that the mother of magic was still alive, hoping the goddess would take pity on her and help her to destroy the monsters dedicated to the god who had slain her.

The goddess answered her call, and imbued with Mystra’s divine power and her own magic, Elysia razed the cult to the ground. Since then she’s been a faithful follower of the goddess, crediting her with helping her destroy the place that made her life hell.

Dragon Age background

Elysia doesn't remember anything before life in the Fereldan circle. She was taken from her parents at a young age, even before her magic came in, as her father was an apostate mage on the run. Once it was clear she was magically inclined, she was brought to Kinloch hold, to begin her training.

Life in the tower was... fine. She was talented, trained by first enchanter Irving. As it was the only life she'd ever known, she didn't think much of it, until Jowan escaped and she joined the grey wardens to avoid being sent to prison.

It turned out she was missing so much. And she promised then and there, no one was ever going to lock her in a Circle again.

headcanon tag

#the lightning doesn't take advice from anyone || elysia amell #stand firm outlast we won't be beaten by the past || elysia amell headcanon

[endueringfire]

hello, hello, it's mist (she/her/they/them) here again! this time it's my fuckboy park byunghee (27, actor&soloist&social media personality&ex-professional boyfriend). there's more info under the cut, but you can find his profile and his career. just like with rhiannon, i also did a plots page with five important plots for byunghee. like this post and i'll hit you up, or you can find me on discord @ moonpsy!

TW: infidelity, bullying & a guy being a guy

park byunghee was born in seoul, south korea, on april 13, 1996. both his parents are blue-collar workers and byunghee grew up pretty poor.

he got a scholarship for a fancy kids rich school and suffered intense bullying there for a long time. not only was he angry but also very envious of how the rich kids could just get away with anything simply by having money. set his mind into becoming famous one day.

wanted to audition right after school but had to do his military enlistment. left, got three part time jobs to pay for singing and acting classes and managed to audition for a bunch of companies, only making it into a very, very tiny one.

debuted in 2017 in a very flop bg that sold approximately 1k copies through the two and a half years they were active. company went bankrupt in 2020 and byunghee made about 100k won that entire time.

not one to give up, went back to three part time jobs to pay for more classes. an ex-manager, who was now working under secret garden, hooked byunghee up with a private audition and they accepted him as an actor.

started acting but clearly wasn't the focus of the company so he kept doing web-dramas that were very niche (including a bl). begged his manager to get him something bigger to participate in, ended up in love lab experiment, a netflix dating show (think single's inferno-esque).

got a relationship and a career out of that and started making, out of a single sponsored post, more money that he had ever seen in his life.

relationship ended for reasons of byunghee being a Guy and cheating and immediately he started seeing a decrease in interest for him. pivoted into releasing solo music, banking on his skills and the 2 million instagram followers to sustain him and his debut did moderately well. now byunghee is trying to find other avenues through which he can keep his status and his income.

personality:

an extroverted introvert, if that makes sense? enjoys a good party and being around friends, but won't seek out connections and definitely gets drained when spending too much time outside.

super fucking dedicated to anything he sets his mind to. has a "i want it i got it" mentality.

on the other hand, has never heard of an impulse control.

both a fuckboy and extremely possessive in relationships, which bleeds into his friendships as well.

such a jealous and envious person. will wish upon your downfall if he finds out you're somehow doing something he does better/more successfully than him.

he's a caring person, though, with the people he likes. a hype man in every way possible. surprisingly a decent mentor.

somewhat of a devout catholic. goes to church every sunday with his mama and originally learned how to sing in church.

#thefourintro #.intro

[glamorizingchaos]

Summer Rains Part 5:

Beauty In The Rain

Javier Peña x F!Reader

Word Count: 6.7k

Rating: M (To be safe 18+)

Warnings: Angst, swearing, pining, smoking, kissing, groping, implications of sex, pregnancy mention, genuine human emotions, probably OOC for Javier... whoops. No beta, just yeeted into the void. any typos. Let me know if I have missed any!

Summary: Javier finally decides what he wants his future to be and Chucho wins Grandpa of the year. Reference for the necklace that is mentioned. The Poem included in the epilogue is by Raymond Garfield Dandridge. Who's poem brought me peace when life was not.

A/N: This is a really bittersweet moment. I again apologize for how long it has taken me to finish this story. Life was overwhelming and I was trying to push myself into writing smut because I know it's popular. So I hit a wall because I was trying to force something out of myself that I didn't really want to write and personally didn't add much to the story. So I took the pressure off of myself. There is no smut in here just implications and allusions to it. It is not something I am just yet comfortable writing, but maybe someday. I also spent WAY TOO LONG obsessing over the timeline and trying to get everything to make sense. I am fairly certain some new grey hairs appeared on my head because of it. I gave up. I did my best. I am not perfect and this is a hobby. I have loved every second of writing this ending and I hope you like it too. Thank you so much for sticking with me and for your patience as I lose my marbles again and again. I have so many people I want to thank and dedicate this to. So many people who without them, I probably never would have posted this story or continued writing it. I hope they know who they are and how much they have meant to me. If you have ever left a like, a comment, a reblog, or sent me a message please know how much that means to me. I hope you never hit a red light and that your pillow is always cold at night. You are angels and the world is so much better with you in it. If you got this far you are a gem. I hope to write more on this blog in the future but I am done trying to force myself into a schedule. I want this to be a fun creative outlet not another obligation for me. Thank you for reading and without further ado, our two idiots need a happy ending.

Masterlist Previous Part

Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! I’d love to hear feedback!

The card slips from your fingers and falls to the counter, forgotten. 

The next morning you wake to the sun shining through a sliver in your curtains. Weird… usually I get waken up by a hungry infant demanding a boob. As soon as the thought crosses your mind you glance over at the crib to the right of the bed. It’s empty. Your nose scrunches in confusion but then the light banging of pots and pans echoing from the kitchen catches your attention. 

You slip on your slippers and slowly pad your way to the kitchen. Your limbs still heavy with sleep. You find Chucho dressed and ready in his Sunday best for church as he makes breakfast. Sofia sitting in the high chair babbling away with her grandpa. He softly whistles an old ballad to her as he warms up a bottle. You mumble a greeting to Chucho and he tosses a cheery good morning back. You sweep your hand across Sofia’s forehead pushing the soft brown curls out of the way as you lean down to kiss her. 

“Why didn’t you wake me?” You question Chucho as you make your way over to the cabinet to make yourself some tea. 

“You were tired and there are bottles out here. I wanted you to rest.” Chucho replies simply with a light pat on your cheek. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I mean why else did you pump if not for this reason? Plus he was right, you were exhausted. Sofia had a rough night again. Gotta love sleep regression. Your guess was all the change in her routines. She needed normalcy and stability, and honestly? So did you. 

Once the bottle was ready for Sofia, Chucho swoops the baby girl up in his arms to feed her. A soft smile blooms across your face at how sweet Chucho is with Sofia. He has a way with her. She rarely cries when he is around and he has quickly become her favorite person. Your baby girl has Chucho completely wrapped around her finger. This is all you ever wanted for your daughter, Sunday morning breakfasts and a family that is bursting with love. Lost in thought, the creak of a floorboard draws your attention to the doorway. Javier had paused before entering the kitchen, the bags under his eyes were dark and he still had yesterday’s clothes on. Your eyes meet his weary dark orbs, and his frown deepens as he looks back, almost studying you. You shifted under his gaze like a bug under a microscope.

A wave of annoyance begins to build in the pit of your stomach. Javier has no right to judge you when you did nothing wrong in the first place. You straighten your back and cool your expression into one of annoyed indifference. He quickly looks away from you as if your gaze burned him. He makes his way into the room and pats his dad on the shoulder in greeting as he swipes a mug for his coffee. 

“You look awful mijo.” Chucho was never one to pull a punch. 

“Gee, thanks Pop.” Javier’s voice was devoid of any emotion as he slumped on the counter with his chin pressed to his chest. Javier really did look a mess and he looked pale. You felt the familiar pinprick of tears start to burn your eyes, everything that led you both down this path started with your lie. You want to be furious at him; to yell, scream, smash something, but you can’t move. You are frozen as the quiet guilt rages a war in your brain. You blink and try to will away the traitorous tears threatening to spill and notice Chucho staring at you with a wary gaze. You quickly excuse yourself mumbling about taking a shower. Anything to escape, to give you time to think. 

-

Chucho inhales deeply as he watches you practically sprint out of the kitchen. He turns to his son, brooding and quietly sipping his coffee with his eyes closed. Chucho looks down at Sofia’s milk-drunk, blissed-out expression and slowly walks over to set her down in the pack n’ play set up in the corner of the kitchen. It used to be in the living room but Sofia got fussy when she couldn’t see Chucho cook. 

“You know one day you are gonna push people too far and they won’t keep coming back for more.” Chucho stares counting Sofia’s soft breaths as he addresses Javier. 

Javier slowly opens his eyes as his jaw rocks. “I know.” 

Chucho turns and points down the hall towards where you are, “That woman is at her breaking point. And look at you! Pale and smelling like a chimney. I cannot sit here and watch the two of you destroy each other. Either figure out what you want and fight for it or just stop and let her go.” Chucho’s tone was severe as he verbally lashed his son. 

“Pops I-” Javier’s throat was dry and his voice cracked pitifully. 

“No. I am taking Sofia to Church. You-” He stabs his pointer finger into Javier’s chest “Are going to talk to her. You are letting your happiness slip away from you. No one is taking it away.” Chucho reaches into his pocket and presses the small black card you left on the counter into Javier’s free hand. “If this is enough to sway you then you are far stupider than I thought you were.” 

The card feels cold in Javier’s hand. His dark eyes stare unblinkingly at it. Not even looking up when Chucho leaves the room with Sofia in tow. He turns the thin piece of paper over and over between his fingers. How could he have let something so small, so meaningless burrow under his skin? He knows his father is right. He has to stop letting this fear and insecurity control him and make him lash out at you. He needs to make a choice and he needs to make it now. 

“Oh, did Chucho leave?” Your voice, soft and missing its usual melodic tone, tears Javier’s eyes away from the card. There you are standing in the hallway hair still damp from your shower but loosely braided to the side. You have your favorite navy blue linen overalls on, the ones you like to wear to clean around the house. You are a vision of domestic bliss. But he can see the weariness in your eyes. The hollowness that lingers in them now. 

Javier clears his throat roughly, shoving the card into his pocket. He has no idea how long he has been standing staring at it. “Uh yeah, he took Sofia to church with him.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Your voice is void of emotion or any of your usual lightness. Javier feels stiff and awkward like his limbs are full of sand and he doesn’t know how to be around you anymore.  

You turn to walk away from him and Javier starts panicking. Is it too late? Has he pushed you too far? 

Before he can talk himself out of it, Javier blurts out the one question he should have asked the day you arrived in Texas. “Can we talk for a second?” 

-

The silence was deafening. You stopped mid-step towards your bedroom and did a half-turn back to him. Your brows furrowed as you studied the man before you. The Javier that stood before you now was not the same Javier you left behind in Colombia. So many things have changed, for both of you. The wrinkles around his eyes have grown more prominent and the gray in his hair is more noticeable.  He still stands with his hands on his hips and hunched shoulders, always carrying the weight of the world on his back. But it was something in his eyes, those piercing eyes that once glowed like embers lost that spark and fire, that once spoke to you. Javier’s dark orbs transfixed you, their darkness overwhelming but there was a sadness to them now. A haunting darkness in them that goes deeper than you knew. 

“Sure” You held his stare for a moment, trying to maintain a calm demeanor. His eyes widened as if he assumed you’d refuse his request. 

Javier quickly shook the surprise from his face and schooled his expression back to its normal frown. He motioned towards the porch and opened the front door for you. You slowly lowered yourself into the nearest rocking chair as Javier leaned on the railing across from you. The crack of the front door shutting echo across the ranch. Javier cleared his throat as he flexed his hands on the railing and stared at a crack in the porch floor. He would kill for a cigarette. Or a bottle of whiskey. 

“So, um, what did you want to talk about Javier?” You never used to call him Javier so much. Only when you pretended to be angry at him or when you were teasing him. It used to be fun, hearing you huff it out between laughs or moan it in his ear. Now his name on your lips is a reminder of the mess everything has turned into. Of all the mistakes he’s made. Of the lies, he’s told. All the reasons you left him. All the reasons that he hates himself. No wonder you left and maybe you should again. Maybe that is what’s best. 

–

 “Javier?” You calling his name a second time caught his attention and his eyes finally met yours briefly before looking away again. 

“Right. Yeah. I wanted to discuss your plans.” Javier’s hand scrubbed the back of his neck as he avoided your gaze.

“My plans?” You schooled your face into the picture of neutrality. 

Javier huffed in frustration, “Yes. Your plans. Shit, you know what I am trying to say here.” 

A cold fire lit behind your eyes, a predator eying their prey as they narrowed. “No Javier I don’t. I don’t know what I am doing here. I thought I did, for a moment I thought I knew what you wanted. Now? I am lost. You want to know my plan? I don’t have one. Not since you showed up in Miami and turned my whole life upside down.” You released a heavy breath trying to calm that fire that sparked in your veins. 

Javier’s eyes flashed with anger and he set his jaw before he continued pressing, “I know that everything has not been the easiest lately, that I have not been the easiest to deal with-” 

You scoff and wrap your arms around yourself. “Because everything was always so perfect between us.” 

That struck a chord with Javier. He made mistakes. Tons of them even; but he always did what he thought would protect you. To keep you hidden from his world, from him, and the darkness that followed. He nearly growled his response,  “I did what I had to do to keep you away from all that shit. To protect you.” 

“Protecting me? Is that what lying to me about sleeping with your informants, all while you were fucking me is? Pretty sure that is exactly the opposite of protection Peña.”

Javier’s eyes turned cold and his next words cut you like a knife, “Well, I didn’t fucking leave without a damn word and hide a child from you.” 

“You didn’t exactly give me any reason to stay. I was just a casual fuck to you and we both know if I hadn’t left, you would have.” You internally curse yourself for the tears brimming your eyes. You hate that after everything he still has this power over you, over your emotions. 

Javier's whole body goes stiff, his voice is quiet barely audible above the sound of the ranch. “Is that really what you think of me?” 

You lock eyes with his. Your anger quickly begins to dissipate the minute you see the pain in his eyes. “I-” You start but stop yourself. 

Javier shakes his head as if he can shake the heartbreak away, “No. I don’t want to fight with you. This isn’t coming out right. I didn’t mean to..” But his voice trails off. He is desperately trying to find the words to tell you all the feelings and emotions that have been storming around in his head since the day you left. 

It is a minute before either of you speaks. “I didn’t sleep with my informant that night. The one before you left.” 

“What?” Your voice is barely a whisper over the frantic beating of your heart thumping in your ears.

“I hadn’t slept with any of them for a while. People just assumed and I never corrected them. I-I didn’t want to. I couldn’t admit to them or myself that you meant more to me than I let on. That you still do. I am sorry that I fucked up so much back then. That I pushed you away and made you feel that I would rather you run away than tell me you were pregnant. I am so sorry.” The tears in Javier’s eyes were clear as day. 

“Javier” You slide out of the chair and stood behind him. Before thinking you reached your hand out and touched his shoulder.  “No. I am sorry. What I did was unforgivable. I knew how much you did to protect me and I left like that knowing it would scare you. But in that moment, all I wanted was for you to hurt as much as I did. I was stupid and angry. What I did was selfish and cowardly, even if I thought I was protecting Sofia. I should have stayed and fought for this. How can you ever forgive me?” 

“I did the moment I saw you with Sofia.” Javier’s hands find their way to your cheeks and he wipes away the tears streaming down them.

“Where do we go from here?” Your hand finds its way to his cheek as you look at Javier. 

He rests his forehead on yours, “I don’t know.” He slowly leans in and brushes his lips against yours. Giving you every opportunity to push him away. But you don’t. Your arms wrap around his neck and pull him as close to you as possible, needing the grounding force of his body against yours. 

Javier’s hands move to your neck, your waist, your hair, and back to your face. His scent surrounds you. He pours every ounce of emotion within him into this kiss. He pulls you flush against his chest and a whimper falls from your mouth. It only urges him on and he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue against your bottom lip. Begging you to let him in, to let him taste you again. 

You immediately give in to him. To the feelings coursing between the two of you. You reach up and pull his hair and a deep growl reverberates from Javier’s chest. His hands slide their way to your hips, then to your ass and he squeezes. It’s as if he thinks if he lets go of you, this would have all been a dream. His movements are hurried and needy. He is desperate for more of you. 

You finally pull away to breathe but Javier just continues kissing down your jaw to your neck. He finds your ear lobe and sucks it into his mouth and pulls. Scraping his teeth on the delicate flesh. “Let’s go inside.” He whispers into your ear but you are jello in his arms. Hardly able to think straight. He slowly starts walking you backwards into the house. As you cross the threshold into the front hall your hands grip his jacket, trying desperately to tear it off him. Javier drags his mouth away from your neck long enough to rip his jacket and shirt off before descending onto your lips again. 

This time as he crashes his lips to yours he grabs a handful of your ass and yanks you into him, his leg falling between yours. You let out a sharp gasp which he takes quick advantage of and pushes his tongue into your mouth. It's clumsy and frantic how the two of you grip each other. Trying to get as close as humanly possible. Your back slams into the nearest wall as you reach for the belt loops in Javi’s jeans and drag him impossibly close to you. As he is pressed against you Javi lets a deep groan loose as he drags his teeth down your throat, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin, leaving marks as he goes.

You are drowning in him. The sensation of his body pressed against yours, his hands digging into your ass, your thighs, tugging on your hair. The feeling of his lips on yours after so long without him. It's all too overwhelming, this is all you have been thinking about since the day he burst back into your life. Javier pulls away from your neck and brings his hands to the sides of your face. 

“Wait, wait… Is this okay?” His voice is gravelly and lower than usual. His deep brown eyes are burning into yours. You want to laugh. Of course, this is more than okay, this is all you crave anymore. Javier. He consumes every waking thought and he invades your dreams. He is the biggest nuisance and he is everything you have wanted. 

“No.” The minute the word leaves your mouth Javier shifts to move away from you but you stop him by grabbing his belt and pulling him back in. “No this is not okay. This is perfect.” 

The two of you fall back into a familiar dance; your bodies fitting together perfectly, like two harmonies coming together in perfect time. Javier knows exactly which strings to pluck to make you sing, he has every curve, dimple, scar, and stretch mark memorized. As you lay back trying to regulate your heartbeat, you find Javier tracing the new marks on your stomach; gifts from the beautiful daughter you both brought into this world. He lightly runs his fingertips up and down, side to side. Silently adding them to his memory of you. He every so often presses soft kisses on your hairline. After a few silent moments, his eyes finally meet yours, a small smile decorating his face. You reach up and trace the lines at the corners of his eyes. You both have changed so much but at this moment, here, it suddenly feels like no time has passed between the two of you. You are back at his apartment in Colombia with a cool breeze blowing through the window carrying the smell of the Arepa shop down the street.

Javier’s hand paused in its path, “I know we have so much yet to figure out-” 

“Please let's not do this now.” You begged him not wanting to ruin this perfect moment. 

“Will you ever just let me finish a sentence?” Javier sits up to look down at your face, a playful glint in his chocolate eyes. 

You lean up and place a chaste peck on his lips, “Nope.”  and try to turn away from him.

“You are gonna want me to finish this one.” Javier takes the chance to playfully pinch your sides and laughs as you yelp and try to squirm away from him. “I know we have a lot to talk about and figure out. But I want you to know that I am all in. I want to build a life with you and our daughter, I want a house and a dog and the fucking white picket fence. I want it all. But I want it with you. I love you. Te Amo mi alma. Tienes todo mi corazón y siempre lo tendrás.” 

You stared wide-eyed up at him, completely frozen in place. Javier starts to panic. He pushed you for more than what you were ready for. He said too much too fast. Javier Peña, ever the fucking moron. Why can’t he ever keep his fucking mouth shut? Should he take it back? No that would be so much worse. Javier was so lost in the spiral of self-doubt and intrusive thoughts that he didn’t even notice the tears beginning to overflow out of your eyes or the way that your hand was squeezing his. When you reached up and held his cheeks in your hands he was finally able to silence his thoughts. 

“You are everything I have ever wanted and I promise you I will work every day to show you how much I love you and to make up for all the time we lost because I was stupid and scared. You, Javier Peña, are the most frustrating man on the planet. You are stubborn and pig-headed and you make me want to scream half the time. But you are also the most generous, kind-hearted, and selfless man I have ever met. You gave me a daughter and I cannot thank you enough for that gift. I love you with my whole heart and I cannot wait to build a future with you.” 

“You scared me there for a second Hermosa. I thought I had lost you there.” Javier quickly wipes a traitorous tear than escaped his eye. “And you have nothing to make up for mi amor.” 

“Yes. I do. I am not going anywhere. I am all in.” 

Javier leans down and places another soft kiss along your hairline before sitting up and stretching his arms above his head. He slowly stands as you lean your head back and close your eyes, taking in the moment. You hear him rifling through his pants on the floor by the bed, his belt buckle jingling and then softly thumping on the ground. 

“Dammit” Javier huffs under his breath and snatches his briefs from the scattered pile of clothes around the floor. 

“What's wrong?” You keep your eyes closed starting to feel the tug of sleep starting to drag you under. 

“My cigarettes are in my jacket pocket. I’ll be right back.” 

-

Javier closes the door lightly, knowing that you are starting to fall asleep and not wanting to disturb you. He follows the trail of clothes from his bedroom to the hallway until he finds his jacket tossed on top of Sofia’s stroller. He begins digging through the pockets for his pack of cigarettes.

“¿Buscas estos?” Javier turns and sees Chucho leaning in the doorway, the red carton of cigarettes dangling in his hand. “Las cosas salieron bien, ya veo?” 

Chucho smirked as he gestured to the random pieces of clothing and shoes tossed around the hallway leading to Javier’s room. Javier cleared his throat awkwardly and snatched the cigarettes out of his dad’s hand. He slides one out and Chucho pulls a lighter out from his back pocket and tosses it to Javier. The cigarette glowed a vibrant orange as Javier lit it and took a long drag before tossing the lighter back to Chucho. 

“Uh, sí. Sí, lo hicieron.” Javier returned his father’s smirk with a goofy grin. “Realmente bien. ¿Dónde está Sofía?”

“Dormido. Ni siquiera llegó a comulgar antes de desmayarse.” Chucho turned to walk back into the living room as Javier let the cigarette dangle from his mouth and started collecting the miscellaneous clothing strewn about. 

“Recuerda usar protección esta vez. No tenemos lugar para más sorpresas.” Chucho called from the living room. Javier rolled his eyes and made his way back to his room. Back to where you were waiting for him. 

Things weren’t perfect. They never would be; you two aren’t exactly saints. But the sight that lay before him in his room reminded him that doesn’t matter. You were curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed with blankets scattered around and halfway on the floor and he could hear your soft snores fill the air. He pulled the blankets around you and contorted himself to fit next to you. He leaned back on the headboard and stared down at your sleeping form silently through the haze and smoke. He could hear Chucho as he moved about in the kitchen. The clangs of pots and pans combined with the soft rhythm of your slow breaths and soft snores. For the first time in a very long time, Javier felt completely at peace. He knew that he would rather fight with you than live another day without you. He knew in that moment that Sofia was the greatest gift to have ever happened to him; that you gave him that gift. He knew that from this day on he will fight, claw, and bleed for the two of you. His little family. Los Amores de su Vida.

- 

2 years later

“This stupid fucking thing” with a deep sigh of exasperation Javier rips the bow tie out from the collar of his dress shirt and tosses it on the floor. 

“Why the hell did you even buy the fucking thing. You barely button your shirt most days.” Steve hands Javier a glass of whiskey. “Drink and chill the hell out.” 

Javier downs the amber liquid in one go, shoving the glass back into Steve’s waiting hand. “Forgive me for trying to look respectable on my fucking wedding day pendejo.” Javier swiftly unbuttoned the top two buttons and slid on his suit jacket. He stood adjusting and readjusting in the mirror for what felt like an eternity. Everything had to be perfect. You deserved perfect and he will make it happen if it kills him. 

Chucho popped his head through the door, “Es hora Mijo.” Javier took a deep, shaky breath and turned to face his father. Chucho smiled and grabbed his son by the sides of his face and pressed his forehead against Javier’s, closing his eyes for a moment, “Estoy tan orgulloso de ti.” Chucho Leaned back and Javier could see tears brimming in his father’s eyes. 

“Gracias Papá.” Javier smiled back at Chucho as he smoothed his sweaty palms on his pants. 

Chucho glanced at Steve, “Well then, let’s get this show on the road. Vamos.” 

-

Your knuckles were completely white from the death grip you had your bouquet under. Connie had just made her way down the aisle with Sofia as the flower girl, awkwardly toddling in front of her. If her performance at the rehearsal told you anything, she dumped the entire basket of petals immediately over her head. But you don’t care about any of that. You only care that you are marrying the love of your life and the father of your child. The past few months haven’t been easy, you are marrying Javier Peña after all, the man is a well-documented hot head, and frankly, you are no better. The two of you have fought tooth and nail to be together and to build a life, a future. 

Of course, nothing ever came easy for the two of you. Soon after you two made up, Javier decided to finally tell you he had to go back to Colombia. Oh, you were angry, for sure. Javier had to sleep in Sofia’s room for a couple of days before you had calmed down enough to talk to him. No matter how angry you were that he didn’t tell you, you knew Javier. He would never be able to rest until the Cali cartel was finished. He never got over being sent home for working with Los Pepes. He had unfinished business and even though you hated the idea, he went to Colombia while you and Sofia stayed in Texas. It was hard. He called. You sent care packages with drawings of Sofia and pictures. It didn’t change the milestones he missed. He did get leave for her first birthday, but it was never going to be long enough. 

When you finally heard the familiar crackle of Javier’s truck on the gravel driveway you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Like you were finally able to take a full breath of air for the first time since the day he left. You had been in the kitchen all morning with Chucho making a welcome lunch. You were covered in flour and didn’t even take your apron off before sprinting outside. You flung the porch door open just as Javier was racing up the stops and launched yourself into his arms, nearly toppling him to the ground. There were tears and kisses and whispers of “I love yous” and “I missed yous” and “you are not leaving again.” 

The two of you eventually, begrudgingly, untangled yourselves and Chucho brought a just woken up Sofia to the door. Javier immediately swooped her into his arms and rocked her against his chest. He was able to keep his cool with you but the minute his baby girl was finally in his arms again, he lost all composure and tears began to fall from his eyes. Javier took Sofia into the yard so he could try and get her to walk for him. You plopped down on the porch steps watching them play and babble back and forth. You could watch them for hours.

“Sofia, okay baby girl, walk to Mama. Go find Mama.” Javier walked behind her ready to catch her if she tumbled backward. Though she was walking on her own now, she was still unsteady and fell often and fell hard. 

“C’mon baby girl. Come to mommy!” You reached out your arms as Sofia giggled and wobbled her way towards you with Javier in tow. Her stumpy little legs stopped right in front of your lap and you reached for her hands to steady her. As you grabbed her hands, she was holding something in them. She’s been hoarding rocks lately and you reach to grab it only to find that this rock wasn’t in fact a rock at all. It was a small box. “Javier, what is this?” 

Javier was kneeling in front of you with his hand on Sofia’s back, “Something I should have done a long time ago.” 

Now here you are almost 6 months later and you are waiting to walk down the aisle in front of all of your friends and family. 

“Are you ready Mija?” Chucho grabbed your hand and placed it in the crook of his arm. 

“More than ready.” 

-

The whole day was a blur. It was full of tears and laughter and pure joy. Now as you sit with Javier on the porch swing gazing at the stars with your head in his lap as he runs his fingers down your back you feel completely at peace, at home. 

“I know we said no gifts.” Javier paused his movements as you sat up. 

“Javier, you promised.” 

“I know but, I couldn’t help myself.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long slender, black velvet box. “Open it.” 

“This is not fair. I don’t have anything for you!” You opened the lid and the tears were almost immediate. Javier may be the grumpiest man alive but he is also the sweetest. Javier bought you a beautiful silver necklace with three gemstones in a line. “Oh Javier, it's beautiful.” 

“It's each of our birthstones. Mine, yours, and Sofia’s. I just, I don’t know, thought it would be nice. To have something of our family for you to wear” 

“That's so sweet Javi.” You trace the stones with your fingertips, “It’s just that, uhm…” 

“What? What’s wrong? Is it the setting? We can change it. We can return it if you don’t like it Hermosa. What is it?” Javier immediately went into fixer mode. He always took it upon himself to fix any problem you had, even the imaginary ones. 

“NO. No. Javier, I love it! It’s just that, well, we are going to need to add a stone, that's all.” You looked up at Javier trying to hold back your smile and the tears. Jesus Christ, you didn’t know you had any more tears left.

Javier’s eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to figure out just exactly what you said. He looked at the necklace then back at you and it dawned on him. “What? Wait. Are you serious?” He reached for your hands as a jubilant smile flickered across his face. 

“Yes. I found out last month.” He couldn’t contain his excitement as dragged you into his arms and kissed your head, your cheek, your nose, your neck. You couldn’t help but giggle at his excitement. “I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

“But…but you were drinking? You had champagne and…and cocktails at dinner.” Javier’s words were rushed. His hands were rubbing up and down your arms, it seemed to be soothing him more than it was you. 

“Connie had the bartender make mocktails and give me sparkling cider.” You reached up and wiped the tears off of his cheek.

“We are having a baby?” Javier’s wide dark mahogany eyes pierced yours. The tears already threatening to overflow.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pulled you into his lap, “We are having a baby.” 

-

Epilogue

Texas thunderstorms are a loud boisterous beast. The rumble of thunder shook the whole house and the cracks of lightning lit up the entire yard. The rain had been nonstop for the last couple of days. So much so that construction on yours Javier’s new home was put on hold until the weather subsided. 

It was no worry though, Chucho loved having the house full of laughter and the thump of tiny little feet running around. Sofia definitely gives her Abuelo a run for his money, at just 4 and a half she is feisty as all hell and ALWAYS wants the last word. She has Chucho wrapped around her finger, and she knows it. Mateo is the opposite. He is the most soft-spoken and sensitive 2-year-old. Always trying to play peacemaker. 

The rain drops beat against the kitchen window as you gather the marshmallows and steaming mugs of hot chocolate onto a tray. A new addition to the Peña family tradition of playing card games while it rains, hot cocoa, and playing out on the porch so you can sit and listen to the rain. Just like you did with your mom. 

You balance the tray on your hip as you awkwardly try to open the screen door to the porch. 

“Ay Mija, let me do that!” Chucho pulls Matteo off his lap and sets the book they were reading down. He grabs the tray from you and shoos you away. “Go on. Go, sit down.” 

“Thank you, Chucho. I thought the third time would be easier but this one is doing jumping jacks on my kidneys I swear.” You lower yourself onto the porch swing, rubbing your belly absent-mindedly when you turn to Mateo and lift him onto your lap. “Are Papa and Sofia still yelling at each other?” You tickle his sides and his giggle erupts into the air. Mateo lays his head on your chest as you quietly hum and rub his back. 

Javier and Sofia are competitive. She knows exactly how to rile him up. They have been playing go fish for an hour, and he has lost four times. You can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous sight of your husband arguing with your toddler about counting cards as if she is a card shark in a casino. 

“Here Mateo, pero ten cuidado. It's hot.” Chucho hands Matteo a small mug he got for his birthday. Steve and Connie got it for him, or “Unca Steve” and “Auntie Wonnie” as Mateo calls them. It had brightly colored jellyfish on it and it was from the Florida Aquarium. Steve took Matteo there when he was a baby and he was obsessed with the jellyfish and has been ever since. When we told Steve and Connie that I was pregnant with Mateo, Steve campaigned hard for Steve Jr. He about tackled Javier to the ground in the hospital room when we told him Mateo’s middle name was Esteban. 

“Are you two done fighting over there? Your hot chocolate’s gonna get cold.” You took a marshmallow and pelted it at Javier’s head. 

“Ay! Hermosa, quit it!” Javier gathered the cards and Sofia ran up to Chucho for her cup. You laughed to yourself as she convinced him to give her extra marshmallows on the side because “it's always good to have a snack with your drink.” 

Javier plopped down beside you and Mateo on the swing chewing away on his Nicorette gum. He went cold turkey in preparation for Mateo and hasn’t had one since. He slid his arm around your shoulders rubbing the back of your neck and he playfully tries to steal marshmallows out of Mateo’s mug. 

Sofia, after shoving all the marshmallows in her mouth at once, crawls up into Javier’s lap to sip on her drink. Chucho finished divvying out the rest of the mugs to you and Javier before sitting down himself. A silence fell over the Peña household as the pattering of the rain and the rumble of thunder in the distance created a beautiful song. 

This blissful moment reminds you of a poem that your mother would read to you at night during loud crashing thunderstorms. 

The clouds are shedding tears of joy, They fall with rhythmic beat Upon the earth, and soon destroy Dust dunes and waves of heat.

Each falling drop enforcement bears To river, lake and rill, And sweet refreshment gladly shares With wooded dell and hill.

Every flower, bud and leaf, Each blossom, branch and tree Distills the rain, 'tis my belief, To feed the honey bee.

I pity every wretch I find Who, frowning in disdain, Is deaf and dumb and also blind To beauty in the rain.

Rain causes destruction. Rain causes chaos. It is loud and booming. But rain also creates beauty. Rain creates stillness. It is also soft and peaceful. To find the beauty in the rain you have to look deeper beyond the noise and chaos. Only then will you discover the beauty in the rain. 

You and Javier have been through so much together. Colombia was a difficult time and then everything that happened after. It nearly destroyed you both. You fought and yelled and screamed. You hurt each other. But you did not give up on each other. Together you tried to find the beauty beyond the chaos of your lives. You forgave each other. You worked together to create the beautiful life you now live. It is not always easy. But you both show up every day for each other.

The airy, fresh scent of petrichor filled your nose as the rain droplets thrummed away on the roof of the porch. Javier leaned over and kissed your head as his free hand fell to your protruding stomach. The scene around you was beautiful and a treasure hard-won. A teary smile spreads across your face as you bask in the outpour of love that fills the porch and this home. This moment, this life, this family, Chucho, your children, Javier. They are your beauty in the rain. They are what makes the chaos and strife worth it. They cleanse away the dust and hurt of the past to make life beautiful and vibrant and full of laughter, light, and love. You have spent your whole life searching and now find comfort in the fact you have finally found your very own beauty in the rain.

Masterlist

Spanish Translations:

Mijo - My son

Mija - My daughter

Te amo - I love you

Tienes todo mi corazón y siempre lo tendrás - You have all my heart and always will

Hermosa - Beautiful

Mi Amor - My love

¿Buscas estos? - Looking for these?

Las cosas salieronien ya veo? - Things went well I see?

Sí. Sí, lo hicieron - Uh, yes. Yes, they did. 

Realmente bien. ¿Dónde está Sofía? - Really well. Where is Sofia?

Dormido. Ni siquiera llegó a comulgar antes de desmayarse - Asleep. She didn't even get to communion before she passed out

Recuerda usar protección esta vez. No tenemos lugar para más sorpresas - Remember to use protection this time. We have no room for more surprises

Llos amores de su vida. - The loves of his life

Vamos - C’mon

Pero ten Cuidado - but be careful

Please let me know if any of the Spanish translations or usage is incorrect!!

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