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#he finally got the show off his sick dance moves from season 1
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Absolutely obsessed with how quickly Diego just accepted the whole Umbrella/Sparrow dance off hallucination as a real thing. He looked around confused for a minute, questioned Luther once, and then just fucking rolled with it. No wondering how they all knew the same choreography. No asking where the music was coming from. Man was just full on down to dance. Truly peak himbo behavior.
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nobutfredweasleytho · 3 years
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YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)
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Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.
Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you
(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)
Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.
“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”
“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.
“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.
“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”
“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”
Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.
“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.
“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”
Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”
The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.
“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?
“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.
The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.
Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.
Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.
The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.
A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.
The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.
Dear Freddie,
I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.
But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.
But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.
The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.
You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.
You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.
That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.
You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.
Did you think about her the first time we slept together?
Was I not enough for you Freddie?
Was I too clingy too soon?
Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?
So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.
I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.
I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.
I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.
I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.
I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.
Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.
Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.
Have a nice life,
Y/N
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mattsboldyy · 3 years
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memories - auston matthews
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Summary- Y/N and Auston’s 2 year anniversary is coming up, you found yourself rethinking all of the happy, sad, funny, frustrating, and fun moments you and Auston had between the almost 2 years you’ve been together. 
Words- 2K
Requested- No
Warnings- covid, fluff
Requests- Open
Author’s Note - The first part takes place in a covid free world. It’ll let you know when the whole covid thing starts in the fic. Enjoy!
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3 MONTHS INTO DATING AUSTON - JANUARY 2019
“Oh, look there’s Mitch and Auston!” Steph, Mitch Marner’s girlfriend said while pointing down to the ice where the Maple Leafs were warming up to face off against the Colorado Avalanche in the Scotiabank Area. You waved to Auston, with him giving you a little wave back. “You two are literally the cutest.” Steph said, sitting down in her seat next to your and the other WAGs. “Not as cute as you and Mitch.” You giggled, sitting down next to Steph. “He adores you, Y/N/N!” Steph said, showing you a picture of Auston looking at you with the cutest look on his face while standing on the beach from last month. You smile. 
Some time later, the game was about to start. You were nervous because Colorado was a good team that season, but you reminded yourself that the Maple Leafs were having a wonderful season too so you tried not to worry. 
About six minutes into the game, Mitch stole the puck and headed down the ice for a breakaway, Auston not to far behind him. 
“Marner passes the puck to Matthews, back to Marner, and back to Matthews. Matthews shoots... AND SCORES!” the sports announcer said.
You and Steph both jumped to your feet, cheering, then giving each other and the rest of the WAGs high fives.
The rest of the game was somewhat of a mess. But the maple leafs ended winning 5-3! You and Steph was at the dressing room hallway when two very strong arms wrapped around you. You turned around and to your relief, there was Auston.
“Hey baby!” You said, giving him a kiss on the lips.
“Hi gorgeous.” Auston said. 
“You played great tonight.”
“Thank you.” Auston said, smiling down at you with his hands still wrapped around your waist.
Soon after saying goodbye to Steph, which is also  your best friend, and the other WAGs, you and Auston headed back to his apartment . 
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You walked into the apartment right behind Auston and then shutting the door behind you.
You and Auston sat on the couch and watched ‘Love Island’  and cuddled. 
After one episode, you looked over at Auston and smiled. 
“Hey Aus?” You asked, still looking over at him. 
“Yeah?” He said quietly with his eyes still closed.
“I love you.” You said.
Auston’s eyes flew open. “You what?”
“I love you!” You said.
“I love you too.” Auston said, getting of off the couch and walking over to you.
You giggled as he kissed you passionately. 
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9 MONTHS INTO DATING AUSTON - JUNE 2019
“This food is good.” You said to Auston while looking at him across the restaurant table.
“Mhm.” Auston said, with his mouth full which made you laugh.
A few minutes later, Auston spoke up. “I have a question to ask you, and it’s okay if you say no because I understand.”
“Okay..” You said, with a confused look.
Auston then reached into his pocket and pulled out a key and slid it across the table.
“I want you to have this.” Auston said, looking at you.
“Your spare apartment key? You want me to move in with you?” you asked excitedly.
Auston nodded and grabbed one of your hands from across the table.
“I think I’m really in love with you Y/N and I really want you to move in with me.” Auston said, smiling slightly.
“Awh. I will move in with you Aus.” You said giving him a sweet smile.
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11 MONTHS INTO DATING AUSTON -  AUGUST 2019
You shifted around in the bed your throat being a little sore so you opened your eyes to see that it was 6:00 am and Auston had practice at 7:00 am. You got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to find Auston eating breakfast. You went to say good morning but nothing came out. You had lost your voice and your throat had gotten a lot more sore when you tried to talk. Auston looked at you with worried eyes. He got up and walked towards you, guiding you back to bed.
“Stay right here, love.” Auston said leaving the bedroom.
Some time later, he came back with some soup, medicine, and tea.
“Thank you babe.” You said, very faintly.
You expected Auston to be leaving soon since he had practice but instead he grabbed the remote to the bedroom TV and went to get in his side of the bed.
“Don’t you have practice?” You said quietly
“Yeah.. but you’re sick and I don’t want you to be alone.” Auston said, scrolling through netflix, trying to find a show to watch.
You looked at Auston. How did you get so lucky? Auston also thought that same thought all the time. How did he get so lucky? 
“I love you Aus.” You said while laying down on his chest.
“Love you too, Y/N/N.” Auston said, smiling down at you.
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1 YEAR, 4 MONTHS INTO DATING AUSTON - JANUARY 2020
You heard your phone ringing and saw your boyfriend’s picture pop up on your screen, so you answered the phone. 
“Hello?” you asked.
“Hey babe.” He said, 
You could tell something was wrong though... just by his tone.
“How’s practice?” You asked.
“Good.. but have you heard of this Covid-19?” Auston asked.
“Yeah.. I saw it on the news here and there.. hopefully it doesn’t get horrible.” You say, piecing the pieces together that Covid-19 was what he was worried about.
There was a short silence when you decided to speak up again.
“I’m sure everything's gonna be fine.” You re-assure Auston.
“Hopefully..” You hear Auston say. 
“Well anyway, practice is about to start. I love you baby.” Auston said.
“Love you too Aus.” You say, while hanging up the phone.
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1 YEAR, 6 MONTHS INTO DATING AUSTON - MARCH 2020
Auston was at practice when your heart dropped when you saw a notification saying that the NHL season was canceled due to covid. You sat in disbelieve. You couldn’t imagine how sad and upset Auston was going to be when he got home. The whole city of Toronto was shutting down.
Not long after the news that the season was over, you heard the apartment door open.
“They cancelled it..” Auston said, walking into the apartment, and dropping his hockey bag.
“I heard..” You say, walking over to him to give him a hug. “I’m so sorry baby.” You say as you rub up and down his back.
“It’s not your fault.” Auston mumbles as he walked over to the couch, picking up the remote and turning on ‘Love Island’.
“Love Island, eh?” You ask, standing behind the couch with you arms crossed, laughing as Auston laughed with you.
“It’s my therapy.” Auston said, turning around and slightly smiling up at you.
“I bet it is Aus, I bet it is.” You said, turning around and walking into the kitchen.
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1 YEAR, 10 MONTHS INTO DATING AUSTON - JULY 2020
“You ready?” Auston asked, opening the apartment complex’s main door with Felix’s leach in hand. 
“Mhm!!” You say, starting to walk down the sidewalk in the city of Toronto,
A few minutes later, it turned into a race between you and Auston to get back to the apartment complex first. You were already out of breath but if Auston won, he’d tease you about losing. You kept running, trying not to think about Auston, and try and focus on your breathing. 
About 20 minutes later, you had made it back to the apartment complex but with no sign of Auston or Auston’s dog, Felix. You waited for 5 more minutes with still no sign of Auston.
You started to get worried because he’s a professional athlete and you didn’t think it took them this long.
You tried calling Auston... 4 times.
You sat down on the bench outside the apartment complex and called Mitch, asking if he had heard from Auston. He of course, didn’t so then you just sat on the park bench, trying not to worry.
Soon, you saw Auston come into view, with Auston, his clothes, and Felix covered in mud. 
Your jaw dropped.
When Auston and Felix finally reached you, you were still in disbelieve, wondering what happened to cause this mess. 
“What happ-” You were asking when Auston cut you off.
“Felix saw a squirrel. His leach got out of my hand and he chased it. I lost my phone too..” Auston said.
You sat there for a minute before you started laughing so hard.
“I know. It’s so funny.” Auston said sarcastically, looking at you.
“Glad you have a sense of humor, Aus.” You said, getting up from the bench and patting Auston on the back and going back up to the apartment.
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2 YEARS INTO DATING AUSTON - SEPTEMBER 2020
It was you and Auston’s 2 year anniversary. It was almost nine o’clock so the sun was down and it was dark outside. You had just gotten back from shopping and going to dinner with Steph, Mitch’s girlfriend. When you opened the apartment door, the whole living room and kitchen was decorated so beautifully. There was fairy lights wrapped around the room and candles lit on the kitchen island and dining table. Your jaw dropped in awe.
“Auston?” You called from the front door of the apartment, dropping your shopping bags.
“In here babe!” Auston called from the bedroom. 
You opened the door and saw rose petals on the bed with a tiny box wrapped in white rapping paper and a gold bow. There was candles all over the room too. You gave Auston a sweet look before going over to Auston and rapping him in a huge hug and kissing him.
“Open it!” Auston said, gesturing over to the present laying on the bed. 
You walked over to the bed an picked up the present, sitting down on the bed where the present used to be. You opened the present and there was a ring. 
‘It’s a promise ring.” Auston said, sitting down beside you and putting his hand on your thigh. 
“Auston! It’s gorgeous!” You said, looking at him.
The ring looked like this. 
“I’m glad you like it.” Auston said, kissing your head and smiling down at the ring. 
Auston then got up and reached for your hand, leading you to the kitchen and living room, where the candles and fairy lights were. Slow music started dancing and Auston put his hands around your waist, and you put your hands around his neck. Auston started slow dancing around the room with you.
“Auston.. this is so sweet of you.. but it feels like I’m at my high school prom again.” You giggled with Auston laughing with you.
“I love you Y/N/N.” Auston said, looking down at you.
“I love you to Auston, I will forever.” You said smiling up at him.
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diaphragmjellyfish · 3 years
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Miguel Diaz fluff alphabet
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A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)
Miguel loves your smile. He’s a funny guy and he thinks your smile lights up a room so he makes it his mission to make you laugh as much as possible. If you have some crooked teeth, he thinks it’s adorable. Also, looking at your smile makes him think about your lips which just makes him want to kiss you.
B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)
Yes, after he gets a stable job. He would love kids but he doesn’t want to be like his dad and end up abandoning his family so he would make extra sure he could support the child and you and makes a conscious effort to be there for his family no matter what. Asking about their day, being involved in their sports/clubs/hobbies, making snacks when they have friends over. He just wants to be the Cool Dad ™ and would probably try to teach them karate before they could even sit up.
C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)
He loves to have you sit between his legs and lean back against his chest so he can wrap his arms around you and make sure you’re always safe and warm. It’s the perfect position for movies, video games, deep conversations, baths. He will also often come up behind you at a party and hold you like this if someone is hitting on you or if you look uncomfortable or bored. He can whisper little jokes in your ear or kiss you on the cheek.
D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)
He loves fun dates. You both have always found fancy dinner dates really awkward. He likes something where you guys can move around, do activities, and just let loose. The go-to’s are usually mini golf, the arcade, the zoo, or just a nice picnic in the park. He often gets you little gifts before dates, though, like flowers, a stuffed animal, or a cool rock he found. His Yaya taught him never to show up for a date empty handed. And he’s a total gentleman, never making you uncomfortable or rushing things. Miguel keeps his hands to himself unless instructed otherwise.
E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)
You are my sunshine. As cheesy as it is, Miguel sees you as the shining light in his life. You make everything better, whether that’s an injury, a bad day at school, or losing a fight at training. He knows he can always go to you and be distracted by your beautiful smile.
F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)
Miguel first knew he was in love with you when you met his family for the first time. They invited you over for dinner one night and he told you his Yaya didn’t speak much english, so you asked him to teach you some spanish so you could talk with her. It wasn’t perfect, you made lots of grammar mistakes and really only said a couple sentences to her, but the effort you made combined with the smile on Yaya’s face made him fall absolutely head-over-heels.
If you already speak spanish, it would be seeing you talk with his Yaya and joke around with her over dinner.
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)
The most gentle boy on the face of the Earth. Like I said earlier, Miguel keeps his hands to himself unless you tell him otherwise. The first time you guys kiss, he barely moves a muscle. You had to grab his hands and put them on your waist. Even now, when he’s teaching you karate, he refuses to hit or grab you, so you honestly don’t really learn anything lol and if you’re sick or sleeping, he’s like a feather, so scared to disturb you. It’s like touching a kitten honestly
H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)
All. The. Time. He’s not too big on PDA, except for hand-holding. This is how he lets everyone know you’re taken without seeming possessive or gross. Miguel will grab your hand at the mall, at school, while y’all are cuddling, at the beach, literally whenever you’re in arm’s reach from him, he’s holding your hand.
I = Impression (What was their first impression?)
Miguel’s first impression of you is that you’re this bright ray of sunshine. He’s drawn to you like a magnet. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh! And when he finally works up the nerve to say hi (Strike first!) he thinks his heart might actually melt. When you actually laugh at the joke he makes and hold out your hand to introduce yourself, he turns bright red and can barely speak omfg this poor boy. But luckily you think it’s sweet and keep talking to him.
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
He did at first, we’ve all seen how he acts with Sam and Robby, but you lay down the law. You have to tell him that it’s not cool, it makes people uncomfy, and then he finally starts to work on it. Now he’s better. He still feels jealous sometimes, but he trusts you and can control himself a bit more.
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)
So your first kiss. You were giving him The Look for like 10 minutes straight and he never made a move. He just stared at you. So you had to be the first one to actually lean in, but once you did, he met you halfway. His kisses match his personality. Sweet, gentle, and goofy, but with a more dominant, aggressive side if you know how to bring it out ;)
L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)
He did. After you had dinner with his family and he realized he loved you, he told you almost immediately. This boy just wears his heart on his sleeve. He was walking you home and when you got to your house and turned around to kiss him goodnight, he had a funny look on his face. When you asked him what was wrong he kind of went ILOVEYOU! Really fast and you had to make him say it again slower because you thought he had a stroke or smth lmaooo but once he took a deep breath and said it more clearly, you jumped on him and kissed his whole face and said it back a hundred times.
M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)
When he first introduced you to Sensei Lawrence. He thought Sensei was gonna be super mean and make fun of you, but turns out you guys had a lot in common. You loved 80’s rock music, and responded to his sass with even more sass. Johnny almost couldn’t believe Miguel was able to get such a cool babe. You guys all had lunch after taking a tour of the dojo, and it was a super fun day! You all drove around in Johnny’s car with the windows down listening to Guns ‘n Roses.
N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)
Miguel spoils you in his own little way. His family isn’t as fortunate as others, but he still finds ways to make you feel special. Instead of a diamond necklace, he gives you a cool rock he found outside and cleaned up. Instead of taking you to expensive restaurants, he spends all day cooking with Yaya to make a nice picnic for you guys to have on the beach. And he saves up to buy you nice gifts for your birthday or anniversary.
O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)
Rose gold. You’re so beautiful to him and have this natural charm that everyone falls for. You’re so radiant and yet soft and unique. He just love love loves you.
P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)
Sweety, sweetheart, baby, gorgeous, and Princess during more intimate moments.
Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)
80’s rock music. He learns to love it through Sensei Lawrence. He even saves up to buy a record player so he can feel more connected to the past.
R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)
Build blanket forts, cuddle, bake cookies, he might even let you put makeup on him if you ask nice.
S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)
Humor. He loves cracking jokes and lightening the mood. If you’re ever feeling down you know you can go to him and he will turn that frown upside down in mere minutes. Honestly even just being in his presence makes you happier. He cheers himself up by working out, taking some alone time to get his feelings out, and then going out with some friends or with you.
T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)
Umm, karate! Duh lol the boy is obsessed with it. Also superhero movies, video games, his day, he’s honestly kind of a rambler. He can talk about anything and everything if he’s nervous enough. Let’s not forget the gas station scene in season 1…
U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)
You, dark rooms, white noise, puppies, linen scented candles, his mom’s cooking.
V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)
His new muscles. Ever since joining Cobra Kai, he’s gotten pretty ripped and now it’s a struggle to get him to keep his shirt on. He worked hard for that body, he wants people to see how good he looks!
W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)
After college, he takes you on a hike up to this ridge overlooking a lake. It’s fall, the leaves are changing colors, and there’s no one around. You guys have been holding hands the whole time, but his hand is super sweaty even though it’s like 50 degrees out. You guys finally get to the top of the ridge and he grabs both your hands and tells you all the things he loves about you. This boy basically recites your whole love story, and as soon as he sticks his hand in his pocket you know what’s going on. He barely even got the box out of his pocket before you were jumping on him screaming Yes! You guys fell to the ground and he stopped you so he could officially get the words out. You were both crying, it was very beautiful.
X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)
More Than Words by Extreme. You guys dance to this at your wedding.
Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)
Absolutely. Y’all marry pretty young, like right out of college. He knew you were gonna get married on the first date.
Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)
Iguana. He thinks they’re like little dinosaurs! He would name it Wade because we know he loves Deadpool.
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tobiosmilktea · 4 years
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hey! i really love your headcanons! can i request osamu, atsumu, and sakusa with a female s/o who's into ballet? like how would they react when their s/o perform or how would they feel when they see their s/o put so much effort in her career as a ballerina. thanks before! 💖
ballerina girlfriend w/ osamu, atsumu, and sakusa
a/n: finally my years of binge watching the royal ballet youtube videos have come in handy ✨😌
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— m. osamu
his guilty pleasure is watching ballet performances on youtube occasionally
honestly, it wasn’t his fault because you were the one who pulled up a video of the variation you were trying to learn on his account and all of a sudden he started getting ballet videos all over his recommendations
he doesn’t mind tho cause he finds them kinda relaxing
and whenever he watching a performance of one of the variations you’ve been working on, he’s genuinely shocked you could even do every move
he loves watching you practice whenever you’re not at the company
lowkey, osamu would probably be one of those people who don’t actually do the dance/sport but still point out if they made a mistake or not (like watching the olympics type beat)
“isn’t your leg on the forth attitude supposed to be devant??” or “it’s a forth position croise, maam.” or “i dunno, y/n, your bouree could be better” (i don’t know if any of this is correct btw 💀)
i think he watches a little too much royal ballet lmao
he’s really proud of you when he finds out you were promoted to principle as it’s one step closer to becoming a professional (once again idk if this is accurate)
it had been your dream since you started ballet so osamu has been really supportive of you the moment you two started dating
whenever you forget something in your kit or if it runs out (maybe like tiger balm to ease the soreness) know that osamu is on his way to save the day
he always asks if you’re feeling alright whenever he comes to pick you up from rehearsal cause he knows you like to give it your all when you’re dancing
unlike atsumu, osamu knows audience etiquette when watching your performances and only claps the absolute loudest whenever your variations are over
he tries to go to every performance you have no matter what, but he did have to miss one of your performances cause he was in tokyo for nationals
but he still supported you despite being five hours away
bonus: you sometimes get sick of osamu being nit-picky whenever he watches you practice so you make him learn a few ballet moves
he’s lowkey decent for someone who has never done ballet ngl despite almost rolling his ankle trying to land a pas de chat
— m. atsumu
homeboy thought he had it pretty hard balancing volleyball and school work but you honestly took the cake on this one
atsumu always knew that you were a hard worker and is usually really busy, but i guess he didn’t really notice that the majority of your time went into ballet when you weren’t focusing on school
he didn’t notice how much effort you put into your hobby until your ballet company’s performance was only two weeks away
literally the moment the school’s bell dismissed classes, you were already out of the classroom door trying to get to rehearsal on time considering you’re a principle and you wanted to warm up for the hours of practicing coming your way
there were days where you and atsumu only see each other during lunch breaks at school because your schedules often overlap
you two try your best seeing each other and sometimes surprise one another if someone’s practice ends up being shorter than usual or if the season isn’t in full swing yet
lowkey i could see atsumu leaving vb practice asap just to see you practicing
since homie is STRONK™️, he would help you break in your ballet shoes
his favorite part is when you let him beat the absolute crap out of the toe box (i.e hitting it against the concrete floor or stepping on it) so you can have a softer landing when you dance
however, sometimes you have to stop him from overdoing it our else the toe box is too weak to even support you anymore (it happened once and you didn’t have time to break in a new pair)
after a long days worth of practice, the ones where you could barely walk, atsumu would be there holding you up and walking with you everywhere
and this happens often even if you feel fine cause his practice always ends before yours so he’s always showing up at your ballet company to pick you up cause he’s a responsible bf
atsumu is such a supportive boyf, but definitely a loud one
the first performance he saw of yours (let’s say you did esmeralda’s variation) he would be clapping along to the beat as if he was in a russian audience
he ended up getting shushed at BUT when you did Don Quixote, he was having the time of his life clapping during the act 1 finale when you were doing pirouette’s across the stage
after each variation that you are in, he’s so loud like 🥺🥺
wow we love a supportive mans
afterwards he would give you the biggest bouquet he could afford and takes you out to a celebratory dinner cause he thinks you’re absolutely amazing
bonus: he would try some basic ballet moves but he’s honestly not that flexible
his ankles said bYE
— s. kiyoomi
sakusa’s super respectful of your hobbies and that you’re generally a busy person when it comes to it
he tries to spend as much time with you even if it has to do with ballet
whenever he’s over at your house and you’re rehearsing a variation, he loves watching you even if you do mess up
sometimes you would ask him to double check what the next move is just to tease him cause you know he doesn’t know shit about ballet
“sakusa, what’s after the arabesque?”
and he’s like “um... i think you go on your toes after that”
wow thanks for the help dude,, very descriptive
unlike the twins, his support is more on the quieter side
he isn’t one that’s into ballet like osamu or loud and chaotic like atsumu, but you’re aware of his support
he tries to attend every one of your performances and often times gives you massages after a very harsh rehearsal
sakusa even lets you ramble about the shit that goes on in that ballet company of yours and he acts like he understands half of the stuff you’re saying
“can you believe that yuri got principle instead of naho?? literally, naho did the sugar plum pas de deux with haruto better than yuri did. like her bourees are soo clean, i’m jealous”
principle?? pas de deux?? bouree?? lol just nod and agree sakusa,, we’ve all been there
this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t try his best to learn everything that you’re saying as you practically did the same for him with volleyball
you deadass learned how to play (not that you’re any good), learned all the positions, the possible calls, and all the rules just so you could watch his games and understand them
sakusa likes things to be mutual so he tries learning balle terms but all the french is kinda throwing him off a bit
despite going to a lot of your performances, you don’t push him into going since you know how he feels about crowds and such
especially when everyone is walking in or out once the show is over, you know sakusa is going to get overwhelmed and you always tell him that he doesn’t have to go
but he wants to prove to you that he’s a good bf that’s supportive so he pushes through either way
on the plus side, it’s easy to spot sakusa in the crowd cause he’s the only one wearing a mask
you don’t even have to see his face in order to know that he’s proud of you 
bonus: because sakusa is trying his hardest to know the basics of ballet, he basically forces you to teach him some moves
when you teach him all of the positions, he’s surprisingly good esp at fourth and fifth position
you knew he had flexible wrists but you didn’t know it also applied to his ankles too LMAO
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pinkyringprvnce · 2 years
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Start Again: An Addek Fanfic Chapter 1
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Notes: This is a fanfiction based on characters from the TV shows, Grey’s Anatomy, and Private Practice. This rewrites parts of the second season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. But this fanfiction tells an alternate story of what happens after Derek and Meredith have sex in the exam room at Seattle Grace hospital. Instead, it asks the question: What if Derek and Addison didn’t end things after Derek cheated on her with Meredith? What if they decided to give their relationship one more shot? This story and chapter were originally posted on Archive of Our Own on November 30th, 2021. This has been edited to include headings and images.
Start Again: Chapter 1
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He was disgusted. Even though he initiated the kiss, he just felt disappointed with himself afterward. While he knew he had feelings for Meredith, his disgust with himself just overcame him. He was now starting to realize what it must’ve been like for Addison when he caught her and Mark in their bed together. While they got dressed, he heard Meredith say something about not being able to find her panties but Derek was quiet. So quiet it freaked her out.
“Derek!” Meredith yelled, snapping him back to reality.
“What?” Derek said softly. He looked up but avoided her eyes. Instead, he stared past her at the door.
“What does this mean?” She asked. Instead of responding, Derek looked down to the floor.
“Derek!” She called out again, moving her head around, trying to get him to look her in the eyes. When he finally looked at her, he sighed, sad eyes and all.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. It was stupid. It felt stupid. But it’s all he could muster to say right now.
“You’re sorry?!” Meredith yelled back. When Derek couldn’t say anything else, she looked back at him, defeated, and stormed out of the room, passing Callie in the hallway.
Derek Stays Back a Minute
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After she left, Derek turned around and leaned with his hands on the counter as he held his head low. He was disgusted with himself and found himself fighting back tears. Before, when he saw Meredith dancing with Finn, all he felt was anger. Jealousy. But after he got her, he felt sick to his stomach. And all he could think was that he didn’t know what to do now. How he’d face his wife, the one who’d done everything to make him happy. The woman who’d done everything in the past few months to earn his forgiveness. And if he weren’t so damn stubborn, he would’ve accepted her apology. Instead, he continued blaming her for one mistake. And he made the same one. Meredith wasn’t a one-night stand, she wasn’t revenge. He was in love with her. Emphasis on the was. Because now, all he felt was shame.
After taking a few deep breaths, he knew he couldn’t stay there all night. Addison was still at the prom. But he also knew he couldn’t go back out there. Not after what he did. He couldn’t look his wife in the eyes and pretend like everything was alright. Everything was not alright. It was pitiful. But he couldn’t stay in this room for another minute. Because all it did was remind him of his mistake. Of everything he just threw away his marriage for.
Derek Leaves Addison at the Prom
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Derek Comes Home
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When he got back to the trailer, Derek took a deep breath as he held his hand on the doorknob. When he opened the door, he found Addison sitting up on the bed, back against the headboard, and her knees up against her chest. But more notably, she was wearing Derek’s jacket from last night. And when she saw him look up at her, she looped Meredith’s panties around her index finger that she’d left on the bed beside her and held it up. And Derek felt his stomach drop even further.
“So, are you done?” Addison asked. “Are you done hurting me back yet?” her voice cracked just slightly. And Derek could tell she was trying to be strong. The way she always did.
“Addie…” Derek started. “I’m so sorry,” Addison put the panties down back on the bed and took the jacket off her shoulders, revealing her Yale hoodie underneath. And Derek knew it was bad. She only ever wore her Yale hoodie when things were bad.
“So where do we go from here?” She asked, getting up from her position on Derek’s bed.
“I don’t know,” Derek said softly after a beat.
“Does this make us even now?” Addison asked plainly. Derek looked up at her, confused. Did she really think he did this to get back at her? To make them even?
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jiaraforeverr · 3 years
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Friends to Lovers in Canon Universe
I'll be the light and lead you home (when there's nowhere left to go) by @homebody-nobody and @hmspogue
“Hi, Dad,” he says, his heart pounding, his veins already humming with fight-or-flight adrenaline. He can feel his brain kicking into overdrive as his body is tensing to prepare for whatever comes next. Keep your voice down, his mind reiterates, reciting rules that governed years of his childhood, learned the hard way and necessary for his safety -- for survival. Stay an arms length away, nod and agree, don’t tell him no, respond with “yes sir”, keep your voice down for as long as possible, and get out before the yelling starts at all costs… But, now, in the midst of this frantic inventory, a new rule makes its way into his consciousness. Stay between him and Kiara.
baby, it’s halloween (we can be anything)
JJ tags along with Kie as she goes costume shopping but she leaves the store with much more than she bargained for.
The Haunting of Crowley Manor
After spending the night with JJ, going to Sarah's Halloween party at an abandoned, and allegedly haunted, Kook mansion is not high on Kiara's list of things she wants to be doing. When the Pogues do some exploring, what they find is unsettling at best. Even amidst all the pandemonium, Kiara would really just like to clear the air.
you wanna play with fire (stick and poke tattoo) by @homebody-nobody
'JJ chews on the information she’s given him, tracing his fingers down her arm, over the curve of her elbow and back up to her shoulder. “You’re still gonna go home, right?” He asks, uncertainty and maybe longing in his voice. She realizes, then, that of course she is. Her parents love her, even if they don’t know how to show it, don't understand what the Cut and its inhabitants (and one in particular) mean to her. Of course, she’s going to go home. Because JJ doesn’t get to. Because she still can.
touch me someone by @homebody-nobody
He pulls away from her, and his eyes are wide but dry as his chest heaves. He looks wild, uncaged and raw, the moonlight turning his blond hair white and his blue eyes into pools of silver. Tragedy and shock have destroyed him, the chains he’d wrapped around his brash, heedless, unending want twisted into shards by an explosion of hurt and grief. He has always been the victim, the boy left behind in empty rooms with nothing but loss and bloody fragments, told to piece himself back together. Finally, they’ve taken the last thing. When he told John B they had nothing to lose, they still had each other. And now, he doesn’t even have that. But she’s still here.
A Midsummers Night's Scheme
Kiara really doesn't want to go to Midsummers, and this time it isn't just about the socioeconomics of it all. When she runs into someone she was hoping never to see again, she enlists the help of JJ, who might already be more involved than she would've ever thought.
georgia (georgia, i love your son) by @jiaaras
Two years after Sarah and John B died (or disappeared, if you asked JJ), Kiara and JJ must deal with the return of a familiar face to the Outer Banks.
it was there the whole time
The rest of the pogues notice that JJ and Kiara are hopelessly in love with each other long before they do themselves.
because i'm still in love with you (i wanna see you dance again.)
post season one; John B and Sarah are gone, Pope is M.I.A and Kiara just wants to help JJ stop drinking so much.
lets go surfing by @simpforjiara
everything good happens in the surf
and even when you look away i know you think of me by @hvitstark
The night of graduation Kie worries about the future.
Her Boys *trigger warning character drugged against their will*
Some guy tries to drug Kiara during a kegger at the Boneyard, and her boys ride to the rescue, and then take her home and take beautiful care of her…which leads to a very unique first Jiara kiss.
five times JJ or Kie kissed the other as friends + 1 time they were definitely not friends by @simpforjiara
don't blame me for fallin' (i was just a little boy) by @simpforjiara
JJ Maybank could never just simply care about something, when it came to Kiara it was always too much
Home is Where the Puppy Lives by @tiggerusername
Four months after John B and Sarah disappear, everything in Outer Banks is strange. JJ and Kiara are hardly talking. Pope is hardly around. And storms keep coming. That is until Kiara decides to visit the chateau after work one day and finds a puppy stuck in the destruction of the night outside.
Snapshots Through Time
Just as the title implies, jumps in time depicting moments in JJ and Kiara’s lives. First as friends, then as a couple, and eventually as a family.
Don't overthink it
For the majority of the time she was not even sure she liked JJ as a person.
i don’t wanna be your friend (i wanna kiss your lips)
If she’s being honest, Kiara used to think about kissing JJ all the time. aka the five times kiara thinks about kissing jj, and the one time she finally does it.
I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?
JJ and Kiara grow closer in the aftermath of what should have been the best summer of their lives.
One of Us Must Know (Sooner or Later)
After spending a night with Pope, Kie runs to the person she was meant to be with in the first place.
it wasn’t special til i met you by @dayas
kiara never expects teaching jj to braid to matter so much. it does. or, alternatively, the four times kiara lets jj braid her hair and the one time she doesn’t.
every piece of you
Five places that Kie hadn’t expected to be intimate when kissed and one place she does.
if we were meant to be, we would've been by now by @alphinias
five times JJ was jealous, and one time he didn't have to be
and if my wishes came true (it would’ve been you)
the one where jj and kiara go on a road trip together and do a miserable job of pretending they’re not two idiots in love
tell me when you’re falling (can you hear me calling?)
being in love with your best friend makes vacationing pretty inconvenient. luckily for kiara, said best friend will never suspect a thing.
bare necessities by @rae-of-fricking-sunshine
the five times they were unintentionally undressed, and the one time they weren't
better date than never by @alphinias
Kiara is sick of her mom badgering her about the single groomsmen at her cousin's wedding, so obviously, taking JJ as her date is the perfect solution. It won't be complicated. Not at all.
i had a few (got drunk on you)
Kiara is a student at bartender school and JJ is helping her practice (when he isn’t hindering her by drinking all the liquor).
i'll be there 'til the stars don't shine by @maybankiara
in which the pogues throw a kegger, and jj keeps getting distracted by the feelings he might have for one of his closest friends.
What if... (Secrets are dug in the best friends' back yard?) by @tiggerusername
What if JJ and Kiara have been keeping a massive secret from the Pogues? What if JJ and Kiara were a lot closer than anyone had expected during Kiara's Kook year?
Standing On Younger Ground by @usnavisbubbly
If he really thinks about it, he knows it probably just took missing her for an entire year for him to realize that he never wanted to again. Miss her, that is. That shit was brutal. She’s his best friend and he wants her around all the time. It’s just that now, he sometimes wishes it was just them. Like, he’d never want John B and Pope to go away, per se, he just also wants Kie to himself? Or something? It’s confusing.
Bad Timing
the one where the Pogues all had a thing for Kie, all get rejected and JJ eventually finds the right time.
wish you were sober
The Pogues are growing up and following their dreams, which means it's time for JJ and Kiara to sort through some feelings.
around the world
You can take the boy out of the Outer Banks, but you can't take the Outer Banks out of the boy. when it's all calmed down, kiara travels the world. jj's not precisely an unwelcome addition.
drunk off of nothing but of each other until the sunrise (i swear to god it was the best night of my life)
The night before Kie leaves for collage JJ finally makes a move. It's the start and end of something all at once.
friends don’t look at friends that way
anyone observant can see that JJ and Kiara are clearly more than friends.
You Can Get Lost in the Music For Hours, Honey by @anniebibananie
A love story told (predominately) through text messages and a collaborative spotify playlist.
Come Down to the Black Sea Swimming with Me
JJ and Kiara try to deal with the aftermath of John B and Sarah's deaths, and find it easier together.
if this is love, i know it’s true (i won’t forget you)
kiara carrera doesn’t know when she falls in love with jj maybank. she just knows that she does, and there’s nothing she can do about it.
i want to see you stare at ceilings until you fall back asleep
jj and kie have a moment.
(au mid-season before any of that insane police chase stuff went down)
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imnotwolverine · 4 years
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The Monster’s Lair - A Belle Tune
Vampire!Henry x Belle - multi-chapter
Chapter 1 - A Belle Tune | Chap 2 >
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Disclaimer: Dark adult fairytale - stalking, mild injury, angsty vibes
Author’s note: Here we go dear readers, a whole new series!! As I was setting out the plotline I kept saying to myself; “Let’s make this 3-5 chapters, a short series, okay, Wolfie?” ...Welp... Apparently I have many talents, but writing short series is not one of them. I’ve tried again and again to reshape the plot into a shorter, snappier version, but I just couldn’t. So, here goes; 12 chapters of broody vampire Henry and sweet Belle. I hope you are ready ❤️
Word count: 1.991
Reading music: Agnes Obel - Tokka 
(Link to my Masterlist)
-
It was the first day of Autumn, summer finally past, as a tale of old was sung anew.
The land was cracked open dry and dusty after months without rain, the crops starting to fail just before harvest season. It made the tensions run high amongst the town folk, their worried eyes aiming upwards. The air had been thick for days now, the clouds drifting heavy and grey on dreary skies, foreboding a long awaited storm that just wouldn’t break.
And yet, not all were worried. At this moment the morning air felt slightly cheery too, as a soft tune wove through the ancient pine tree forest that lay like a prickly blanket over the rolling hills. 
It was a familiar tune, sung by a familiar woman’s voice, her pale skin and dark braided hair a sight he saw often in these parts of the land. Before her, two mutts sniffled happily, their wet noses pushing through the fallen leaves and shrubs that covered the dry forest floor. 
From the shadows of that same thicket, he was watching her, watching her rosy lips curl up in that dreamy smile, her feet kicking her blue skirts with confident strides.
Belle, he knew her name by now, was one of the few who dared to wander so close to his grounds, his domain, her skirts rustling as she conjured a book from the depths of her pockets. Always reading. 
At first he had been somewhat surprised to see a woman of her position even owning a book, a proper book. Her father was but a poor horse handler and her family long deceased. 
But, indeed, she could read. 
With an elegant hand she brushed down her skirts before sitting down on that same fallen down tree that she used everyday; her hide-out whenever the weather allowed. Clicking her tongue she instructed her dogs to lay down, her hand flicking through the book, returning to the page where she had left off a day ago.
Away from the snarky remarks and jealous whispers of the town folk, here she could read as dawn cracked over the horizon, her presence welcomed by the listening embrace of the forest and its inhabitants. The birds quieted their song and the mice and squirrels halted their squabbling, just long enough to look and listen, bewitched beady eyes watching the pretty woman as she started to read aloud.
It was an old and leather bound rendering of Apuleius’ Cupid and Psyche, an ancient fairy tale, the book nearly falling apart as she brushed her fingertips over the yellowed, vulnerable pages. She had read it a dozen times now, and yet the monster couldn’t help but listen, his lips moving in a silent joined recital. He knew the words by heart at this point.
What exactly she did by the day time he couldn’t tell, his disposition making it impossible for him to visit town when the sun was out. And thus he would just imagine it. Perhaps she worked as one of the chambermaids for the Les Comtes. Perhaps she helped her father in the stables - he had seen the old man during the nights many a time, his rough hands being ever so gentle with the handsome beasts that belonged to the Les Comtes. In fact all was owned by the Les Comtes, the family so rich that almost all villagers worked for their estate and businesses.  
Far too soon Belle’s voice would silence again, her finger tracing the page she had ended on, memorising it before gently closing the book, her eyes looking up through the thicket of the tree branches, watching those looming clouds up above. He knew what she thought; it was going to rain and she probably couldn’t return to this spot for a long time.
After the rain would come hail, winds, winter. And as it goes with reading outside, her natural reading nook was simply not able to hide her from the elements, and, with her reading hobby sneered at by the town’s folk, this might very well be her last reading session for this year.
With a sigh she got up, calling for her dogs and making her way back to the village, long skirts kicking, her book hidden back in the depths of her pockets. Oh, how he was going to miss her. Even if it was just for a day. Here in the forest he was awaited by an eternal nothingness. No job, no destination, only empty days that wove into a long string of months, years, centuries.
Returning to the crumbling ruins of his castle, the grande structure long past its glory days, he wandered endlessly through its halls, dust collecting on items that shouldn’t ever run into such disuse. Plates, cups, the fireplace, the beds. For centuries now he could not feel the pleasure of the simplicity of life. The food ashen on his tongue. His eyes, though closed, never truly resting. His skin no longer feeling the comfort of a warm hearth. His still beating heart but a mousy whisper of its once roaring strength.
Watching those heavy clouds above the treetops, he knew that it would be long before he would get to hear her voice again. A storm was looming, the long dry spell finally coming to an end and taking with it the long awaited rains. He knew it was a necessity, the listening critters around him feeling desperate for food now winter was soon to arrive, but he couldn’t help but feel a deep disappointment all the same. Because with the dreary days would come even more dark hours for him, the last sparkle of joy ripped from his life until spring would probably come again.  
‘Another one dead.’ The hunter growled, heaving the dead dog’s body from his cart, the boneless heap of bled out sinew and fur unceremoniously dropping to the dusty ground. With the ongoing drought, food has become more and more scarce. Crops were failing, wild animals were roaming nearer to the village and despite their best efforts, the hunters had great difficulty to actually catch anything. Something strange was afoot in the forest and rumour was about; it was the beast!
‘So no luck then.’ Arthur said in a hushed tone, his old knees cracking as he squatted down to inspect the remains of the hound. And indeed. Neck cracked, jugular torn, the required strength for such an act belonging to no less than a bear..or beast..of sorts.
‘Twas a mad dog anyways. But still..’ The hunter squinted, looking out over the yellow grassed meadows, to the edge of the forest where that monstrous beast hid away. ‘..we must see to it. The darn thing must be done with once and ..for..’ He blinked, then looked at Arthur with mild confusion. ‘Is that Belle?’ He pointed at a figure that appeared from the tree-line, two dogs at either side of her light blue skirts.
Arthur pushed himself up with a groan and also squinted his eyes, his sight no longer what it had been. ‘If it’s a pretty thing with two mutts, a dress of blue and a smile for days, it must be Belle.’ He said, his vision too blurry to discern anything that resembled his daughter. The hunter gruntled his disapproval, though not denying that it was indeed Belle, his strong, broad shouldered frame turning back to his cart to bring out what few rabbits and pheasants he had managed to catch in his traps. ‘You ought to bring some sense in that girl, Arthur..’ He warned, bushy eyebrows frowning as he looked back at the girl, her skirts twirling as she threw a stick for the dogs to fetch.
‘She is just so very much like her mother.’ Arthur sighed, not fully agreeing with the hunter’s sentiments as his lips curled in an amused smile.
‘Tcould be the death of her, old man. The beast is out there, I know that much. In fact. There’s a meeting in the town hall by sundown, in case you wish to join.’
‘Good..good...’ Arthur nodded, only half-listening now, his eyes finally managing to focus on Belle as she kicked her legs over the wood log fence near the stables he worked, her face all smiles and skirts a muddy mess.
Oh..Belle!
--
The shutters of the barn-like town hall shuddered, the wind outside picking up and the torch flames dancing wildly in the draft. It was a busy night, the floorboards creaking as the town’s men got up from their benches to express their bewilderment and frustrations, loud “Aye’s” and “Nays” echoing in the air as the discussions roared.
Now the food reserves of the town were running low and people had to ration, the tension was near tangible. Winter was coming and the people felt as restless as the storm that was picking up outside. The pigs needed to be fed, the elderly were struggling, sickness was spreading and all fingers pointed angrily at the direction of that wicked forest. The Beast’s forest.
‘Dear people! My people!’ Old Master Le Comte stood up from the throne-like seat that was situated right at the head of the hall, his fatty fingers balancing a shiny cup of wine. He raised his hand to calm the uproar, old furrowy brows raising up to show two grey, beady eyes. ‘Say AYE and agree, that we must see to the end of this beast for once and for all. He threatens our livestock, steals our hunted bounty and his cursed evil talons bring us only disease and misfortune. This drought? I would not be surprised if it were by HIS design!’ He exclaimed.
The town roared up with enthusiasm, fists raised in the air as a loud ‘AYE’ resounded front to back. In fact only the old man Arthur sat quiet, far in the corner, thinking fingers pulling at his moustache. He had discussed the matter with Belle and all she had to say was; “It is indeed quite practical to make a simple minded animal responsible for all your sorrows. But is it right to kill it because you conjured an image of beastly proportion, fed by your own fears? From what I heard he only has killed those who came too close..far too close.” 
‘HELP HELP!! The church! A FIRE!’ The large doors of the hall swung open as a young man burst through, arms waving in despair, the discussions regarding the monster quickly forgotten as everyone made haste to stop the flames as they quickly swept around them, the simple wooden structures of the inner town feeding themselves like perfectly dried logs to the hellish bonfire.  
Arthur looked up from his daze and slowly followed the hastened crowd outside, his feet no longer so fast as he felt a sudden, surprising coolness in his neck. A wet coolness. With a question in his eyes he looked up at the darkened sky, feeling another drop on his wrinkly skin. Rain? Did the gods bless them just in time? Would all be well?
A conclusion made prematurely, as a new alarm was struck from the village’s heart.
‘THE BEAST! TIS THE BEAST!’ The loud screams came from the village square, Arthur’s attention immediately drawn back to the people that sped past him. Oh no..oh no...BELLE! She was alone, she was..
*FLUNK*
With a loud thud Arthur smacked to the ground, his eyes blinking in shock as he saw the person who had bumped into him rush passed, the silhouette of the person already fading from his vision as all he could do was claw into the dusty road, eyes seeing all black.
Oh no...he thought, his body now fading out of consciousness. Belle! She must be warned! She was all alone! The beast..Oh Belle..the beast..and...Belle...
With heavy blinking eyes he scratched and cried, trying to gain the attention of people rushing by, but failing. None could hear or see him as the storm drowned out his wails and the night hid him in unblinking dark, leaving him with little else but hope, hope that Belle’s joyful tunes would indeed not be ended at the slashing of beastly claws, like the hunter had warned him for this morning.
Oh Belle, dear Belle..
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Chap 2 >
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hrh-selene-r · 4 years
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Beyond Words (1/?) The Carousel
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Eight years have come and gone, and it seems that everyone has moved on; Hannah has a new life with a Baby upstate, and even Ray found a bit of happiness in his life, but where does that leave Adam? Still in the same apartment with the same problems. Now, feeling adrift in the stagnation he finds himself in, Adam will try to break old habits and  see if he can grow-up. Something easier said than done, that is until he meets you.
This is a bit of a post series/retcon picking up from where Adam’s story left off in Season 6 episode 8 titled “What will we do this time about Adam?”
Adam Sackler x Reader
3075k words
Warnings: NSFW | some angst
                                      -------------------------------
The Carousel
The walk home was the most tiring, the most jarring. What had just happened? He came to her rescue, but where did that leave them in the long run? 
It was on the streets of New York that Adam resigned himself to his fate, realizing that both him and Hannah were just too different, they wanted different things and that they had grown apart. Fuck, who was he kidding? She was the one that grew, but so did he...Didn’t he?
Now on his street, nearing his building, he palms his pockets looking for his keys, only to find that he doesn’t have them. Did he lose them somewhere, or did he leave without them?  “Shit” He does the thing he doesn’t want to do; he fishes his phone out of his pocket and looks for her name, not knowing how this is going to turn out.
He calls her, even though he knows he shouldn’t, but what else does he have, where else can he go?  
“Hello.” The line picks up to the sound of Jessa’s voice.
“Hey, you home?” Adam asks quietly, trying to figure out Jessa’s mood by the inflection in her mood. 
“Uh-huh.” She answers
“Got to the window” He orders her and waits in view of the apartment window. He waits until he sees as Jessa's face finally peeks her head out of it to look at him. “If I buzz will you let me in?” He asks her hopefully.
“Yeah.” She answers him nonchalantly.
                                               ----------
Taking a deep breath at the front door, Adam returns to the apartment to find Jessa on their couch, seemingly acting normally. Their moods are calm as he looked at her and she smiled at him. That sweet small smile that made her appear younger than she was; an almost innocent visage on her face, haloed by beautiful blonde hair. He approaches her as she gets up to embrace him tightly by the waist.
She knows the reason why he’s here is because he’s back. Did his attempt with Hannah fail? Yes. But she was willing to let it go, afterall, she wasn’t innocent and anyone could have a slip up. Not long ago, she whispered into the air how much she wanted him above any other man, and the universe answered by bringing him home; by bringing him to her.
The fight for him was over; the waters of their mercurial moods are still and calm. The symptom abates, but the sickness remains. In Adam’s heart he knew that their relationship wouldn’t last. It was a different type of relationship, nothing like his previous relationship with Hannah; it’s true that what he felt with Jessa has that wonderful, emotional connection but that was coupled with a volatile dance that is unstable to persist, but too stubborn to crumble.
He accepts her embrace as he cradles her face with his hands and kisses her deeply, full of passion. Their deep sighs are a sign of their ease; a herald of what’s to come. She started by slowly caressing the waistband of his jeans before moving her hands up under his shirt and lifting it upwards as she explored his chest. Giggling in between kisses, they pull apart to take off his shirt, before uniting again. 
Her tongue flicks at his upper lip in challenge, wanting things to go further.  He was never one to back away so he meets her demand, his tongue exploring her mouth as he moves his right hand cradling her neck, while the other rests at her waist; her hands passing through the expansions of his broad chest, taking her time to feel every muscle and ridge his body had to show, savouring in the feeling of him. She starts pushing him further and further back, guiding him until they reach the couch. She pushes him to sit down so she could straddle his lap, grinding herself on the hardening bulge in his jeans as his mouth goes to her neck.
“Oh Fuck” he moans deeply placing his hands on her hips for support. The world around him blurs as the passions heightened. Breaths grew hot and heavy quickly, as they got drunk off each other; the feel of their skin being touched and licked as they went.
Jessa laughs out a moan and takes the initiative to remove her white bralette, exposing her breasts to Adam’s attention. By just instinct, his mouth is quick to go to her breasts; latching on and licking her nipples to his heart’s content while Jessa’s breathy moans can be heard in the silence of the night as she moves her hips over his covered cock, desperately trying to create enough friction on her clit. It felt good to get out of his head, to quiet the endless buzzing of his thoughts and not think, just be; even if it was for a while.
She gave a small yelp as he picked her up by her waist and swung her to place her back on the sofa. They both frantically try to remove what's left of their clothes, eager for the pleasure to come. 
Naked and ready, Adam gets on the sofa on both of his knees, eyeing Jessa like a predator would its prey, showing no warm feeling or regard, just pure animalistic lust and conviction. The muscles in his back flex as he leans forward towards Jessa, prying her eager legs apart as she bites her swollen bottom lip looking at him with need in her eyes. “Please. I want you, I need you now!” She thinks desperately, groaning as he runs two fingers over her cunt, separating her folds, feeling how wet and aroused she was for him. 
“Fuck” he groans as he takes his erection in his left hand, slowly pumping it, spreading the drops of pre cum from the head and down the shaft while he watches her breasts rise and fall as she starts to breathe heavily. Eager to get started, Adam uses his thumb to play with her clit while he pushes his middle finger in her, causing Jessa to moan as he plays with the walls inside her pussy. 
“Play with your tits” He orders after he spits in his hand, getting himself wet enough to enter her. Jessa licks her left index finger and starts pulling at her nipple, her mouth open as she licks her lips sensually for him, her mood ever so playful as she giggles a little.
His lips return to her neck, kissing and biting towards her collarbone. Between sighs and heavy panting, he finally lines his cock with her pussy and enters her. Jessa gasps and smiles, betraying her assurance and euphoria. This was what she wanted, what she needed.
She places her hand on his shoulder, getting leverage to move her hips, taking control of their rhythm as she grinds her hips as much as she can to meet his thrusts. His hands moved to her hips, guiding her, enjoying the sight of her breasts bouncing while she coats him with her juices as he enters her over and over. 
The cacophony of their moaning and panting, along with the delicious sounds their bodies were making and the sight before him turned him on even more. It wasn’t sweet, and it wasn’t loving; it was raw, impulsive and satisfyingly animalistic; from the bites that he left on her neck and her tits, to the scratches that were starting to form on his shoulders and pecs. 
Adam closes his eyes, leaning his head back as he surrenders to the feeling of having his cock squeezed inside her pussy every time she clenches her walls. A fucking delight to his senses that brought him to close to the edge, making him thrust faster and harder. His movements are more forceful as his grip gets tighter.
“Oooh fuck!” Jessa moans as she watches as he rams into her pussy, his pubic bone biting her clit with each thrust. She can’t get enough of this, the way he stretches her pussy, the sweet friction they’re making; she never wants it to end. 
“Yeah, you like that?” He asks.
“Yeah...uuhhg fuck yeah. C’mon, fuck me.” 
This was just a fuck, he knew, but fuck is it good. They always had great sexual chemistry, and right now they were enjoying the intensity of just fucking each other raw.
Sweet, sweet poison.
Her moans become louder as his speed increases; he can feel his orgasm building up. Oh no, he’s not even close to being done, he needs more he decides still too high on his own sensations. Adam places her legs over his shoulder as he rams deeper into her, chasing his orgasm in the midst of their feral rut. 
“Oh, FUCK!” He curses, too lost in the pleasures of her sweet cunt to think about anything else.
Sweet, sweet poison.
This is exactly what he was looking for, he can’t think; doesn’t want to think. 
“Unhhhhhg. fuck uhh!!” Jessa exclaims as she can feel it, that pressure in her belly that gives way to a shudder as she cums on his cock as he’s still fucking her. 
He cursed loudly as he feels her pussy clenching, pulling him as his pleasure builds, his release so close, but he can’t finish this way, no fucking way. He pulls out of her and pulls Jessa back up.
“What the fuck?” She yelps as Adam flips her arranging her to get in front of him on all fours on the couch. Jessa chuckles a bit, excited for what Adam has in store. 
Once she’s in position he teases her by running the head of his cock through her folds, teasing her clit for a bit before thrusting back in, ramming into her from behind. His thrusts are wild as his panting mixes with her moans. His movements become more erratic, less measured as he gets closer to his breaking point.
“Right there. Oh, god! Don’t stop.” Jessa moans, still over sensitive from her latest orgasm. “Don’t stop.”
All that’s heard is the noises made from her wet pussy as Adam pounds into her. His control is out the window as his mind is lost, high on the pleasure. He leans over her, and grabs at her throat, still thrusting in and out of her. 
“Uuuunhhh Oh!” Jessa moaned through Adam’s choke hold as she reached her second orgasm. Her body spasms as the pleasure comes in tremors, pulling him into her. That alone was enough to make him pull out. He was close, he felt it as he started jerking off on top of her. The build up reached its peak as he cums with a load moan. “Fuck!! Arghh!” Long streams of cum shot out of his cock all over Jessa’s lower back and ass, as he continued jerking off, thrusting into his hand as he rode his high, making sure he was giving her every bit of his load.
They’re both left panting with no strength, nor will to move from the couch. Jessa lies face forward, still reeling from the intensity of their high; likewise Adam unceremoniously plopped back, sitting, draped on the couch, eyes closed facing the ceiling, spreading out his tired and cramped legs while breathing heavily his heart trying to calm down.
Both of them, close, but worlds apart; Adam struggles with the realization that what he had with Hannah is over and that they’ll never be together again, despite how much they love each other. It felt like the end of an era, and he was numb to it all.
 Jessa on the other hand is feeling elated, validated over the fact that he isn’t with Hannah, helping her raise her baby, he went back to her; he chose her. So what if she fucked that guy in the bar, she doesn’t doubt that he fucked Hannah, so as far as she’s concerned, they’re even. It’s water under the bridge, and now they can move forward together. 
For once, Jessa didn’t feel like the other woman, the mistress, the man stealing Jezebel that people make her out to be. No, she felt like the girlfriend, he makes her feel like the most important person in his world. It’s true that he left her to pursue Hannah, it’s a truth that lives deep down, in that special place in her mind where she doesn’t dare to look into; she knows that he will leave her, that this world, this fantasy will end in fire. To acknowledge that would be to come face to face with her insecurities, and that she can’t bear.
 “No, Adam can’t and won’t leave me” She desperately thinks; the fact that he’s here now naked and panting beside her is proof enough.
Denial is it’s own brand of drug.
Adam’s breathing has calmed, but he doesn’t dare move, all he can do is look forward with a forlorn expression on his face, thinking where can he go from here. He wasn’t joking when he offhandedly told Hannah that he and Jessa will probably break up in 4 months.
“So, where the fuck does that leave me?”
His face turns to his left as he looked over at Jessa, the expression on her face showed him just how happy she was willing to remain in their world; the bubble she refused to pop. He picks his shirt off of the floor to clean the  wet and sticky with a mixture of sweat and cum off her back.
He doesn’t feel it. What was once that sweet post sex afterglow has now left him feeling empty and numb. The high is over and he’s left with nothing; wanting. 
He can’t fucking deal with this right now, not here. Adam shuts his eyes and gets up and heads over to the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he leaves her there. Running his hands furiously through his face, Adam leans on the fixed bathroom door, sighing heavily as he feels his anxiety creep in.
He turns the shower on and waits for a bit for the water to get to the right temperature before he gets in. Standing under the steady stream of water, his hair clinging to his face, he faces the shower head with a blank expression.
The water rains down his body, washing away the mess of the day, granting him an unexpected clarity and serenity. Just like he knew he had to pursue his last ditch attempt to get back together with Hannah, he knew a line was crossed. His breathing starts to quicken as the feeling goes from numbness to desperation. Tears start to fall from his eyes; mixing with the water from the shower head. 
Just what the fuck was he doing? 
Adam sighed as he realized that his life is a mess created by his job and the women in his life (both past and present). The roles he’s getting are in shitty productions, and with the whole Jessa/Hannah he now feels more lost than ever, which in turn is giving him that itch; the one that makes him feel like he needs a drink, or ten.
“Fuck! I’m so tired of this shit.” He screams internally as he leans into the shower’s wall. The tightness in his chest is too much, and he lashes out against something, anything. In this case it was the shower wall as Adam starts punching it once, twice, three times before leaning back. His eyes are still wet with tears from this rollercoaster of a day, as blood rushes to his hand as it starts to swell from the bruising; the sting hurts, but at least he feels something. 
Adam lets out a deep sigh, exhaling through his nose as his hand blocks the view from his eyes. How did he come to feel so lost? Is he supposed to stay with Jessa? Was this just a moment of weakness in their relationship? It wouldn’t be the first time this happens to him. The first was with Mimi-Rose. God! In the end he didn’t even know her! But he knew Hannah, there was eight years worth of history; of great times and bad times. 
The streams of water run through his shoulder, down his back and his stomach as little water droplets linger. For a moment he can feel the comforting caress of the water, seemingly trying to console him of his trouble, but he knew better.  Ever the practical man, he starts to bathe, scrubbing arms and legs, taking his frustrations out on himself, leaving his limbs red from the fierce treatment on his skin. A sigh comes from his lips as he washes his hair in an attempt to at least calm himself until he was able to go to a meeting. 
He can’t think about it; doesn’t want to think of all the bullshit in his life. He has to get a haircut soon...maybe. Adam muses instead. He shouldn’t get attached to it. Like everything it comes and goes. It seems like nothing is constant in his life. People come, people leave. His friends all have something and now he feels like the little kid; alone in the play yard, after everyone else has gone home. After one final rinse and he turns the shower off, grabbing a towel while stepping out, seeing things with different eyes, feeling like a stranger in his own house. Everything feels askew and blurry; not quite right, like it’s all a dream.
Numb  
He didn’t exchange words with Jessa. “That’s okay” she thought, he can be quiet sometimes and she’s willing to give him his space; the important part is that he’s here, so she can wait, knowing that he’s here with her. 
What she didn’t know is that he was too lost in his thoughts, ironically trying not to think, to even want to speak to her. Adam has never been a person that overthink things. He lives in the moment, in his body, but now it feels as if he’s going to go out of his body, like he has no power and no way
That night they slept beside each other, oblivious to what the other was thinking, just trying to get past the day, to not think; taking what shelter they could in each other from the harsh realities outside.
They share the same bed, but they are miles apart.
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Hi guys, as promised by popular demand I’m FINALLY posting the first chapter of Beyond words. My apologies for it being so short, but it is a multi chapter fic and I already have the next four chapters written. I just have to edit them (That’s what takes me a bit...well that and tumblr deleted the whole thing). I don’t have a set word count on how long each chapter will be, It’ll depend on how the prose flows.
Tag list for some friends (let me know if you’d like to be added) 
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immortalled · 4 years
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Some highlights and trivia from the Misfits series 1 scripts that no one asked for (extremely long post ahead):
Episode 1
- Jeremy feels somewhat more manipulative and selfish. It’s nothing new that he’s the reason Louise kicked Nathan out, but there’s a deleted scene where he comes in immediately after Louise has booted Nathan, Louise is crying, and he just tells her “You’re doing the right thing. We need this.” And I dunno. I get it, but somehow seeing it just makes the whole situation feel scummier. I could be biased.
- After getting her powers and losing her fiancé, Kelly cries all night. Again, no surprise, but it hurts getting confirmation. :(
Episode 2
- The old woman Nathan pushes in a wheelchair does in fact roll out the door when he lets go. RIP Joan. Some say that if you listen carefully, you can hear her still rollin’ to this day.
- The old “SHE’S STEALING YOUR PENSION” war vet is named Stan. Stan has some serious PTSD. Please protect Stan.
- Alisha thinks Sally is lesbian. 
- Simon’s wardrobe is inspired by Joy Division’s Ian Curtis. I’ve never seen Curtis dance, but apparently Rheon incorporated some of Curtis’ dance moves into Simon’s character.
- There’s a deleted scene where the gang finds Nathan in the community centre, staring sadly at a photo of Ruth which has been put up in her memory. Robert really keeps playing the same characters, doesn’t he?
Episode 3
- When Kelly and Jodi are fighting, Socha accidentally headbutts Mojekwu for real. Whoops.
Episode 4
- The athletic segments are filmed at the Crystal Palace Athletics Stadium. 
- In a deleted scene, Kelly calls Simon a “good-looking bloke” and tells him he should get a girlfriend. She also says that “loads of girls like sweet, quiet guys”. Simon is touched by this and immediately asks if she’s single.
- Nathan was only supposed to kiss the bowling ball. Of course Sheehan had to be weird and lick it instead. Disgusting.
- Simon’s jerk friend, Matt, sounds a little less like a jerk in the script. He’s actually guilty and feels more sympathetic. Doesn’t make him embarrassing Simon in front of everyone any better, though. 
- The original plan was for Simon to turn against the main cast and evolve into a supervillain by the end of season 1, which is one reason why Simon is so horribly creepy in S1 (namely perving on the girls). 
- Confirmation that Simon is excited by vulnerable / unconscious girls. #yikes
- Nathan’s dad, Mike, is named “Gareth” in the script. “Gareth” canonically thinks Nathan is an “inconvenience”. 
- Tony’s surname was originally “Warren” instead of “Morecombe”.
Episode 5
- There’s a note in the script that says “Curtis’ rap during his self-assessment therapy with Sally is the only improvised dialogue in the whole of Series 1“ and I’m not entirely sure, but I think that’s probably a typo. Either we missed out on Curtis’ special hidden talent for rapping, or that should say “Nathan” and Sheehan adlibbed the Ruff In The Jungle Business. I think the latter is more likely. 
- Sally tells Simon in a deleted scene that she was teased as a child for being fat. 
- Simon, while talking to Sally at the pub about trying to burn Matt’s house down, has a wave of guilt about peeking up Kelly’s skirt outside the club in the last episode. 
- Confirmation that Sally begins to have genuine feelings of attraction toward Simon. #yikes yikes
- The scene with Nathan picking up the baby took over half a day to shoot because the babies kept crying.
- Kelly originally snaps Nathan out of Finn’s hypnotism by pushing herself into his thoughts. Which I think is fascinating because I don’t remember her telepathically communicating with characters before.
- The BMX footage that Simon shows Sally is supposed to be Superhoodie. Hello, plot-holes and paradoxes.
- In a deleted scene, Nathan says he’s jealous that Kelly has “two powers”; being able to hear other people’s thoughts and talk to people telepathically. Seriously sad that this ability was removed in the final cut.
- In another deleted scene, Simon suggests that maybe their powers are changing. Kelly seems to agree. Rachel and a lot of Virtue symbolism also appear early; the gang unknowingly disrespect Rachel by sloshing water on one of her Virtue banners and walking over/on it as they pass.
- Yikes. Deleted scene that alludes to Nathan’s possible alcohol problem with a shot of the community centre’s kitchen and all the empty bottles. 
- In another deleted scene, after Kelly questions Nathan about his dad, Nathan complains (revealingly) about Kelly getting in his head. Things get a little flirty, Kelly teases him and serves potato letters with the chicken nuggets. She spells “PRICK” out on Nathan’s plate. It’s really cute.
- Not only was Simon supposed to be the supervillain, but he was supposed to die at the end of season 1.
Episode 6
- “Virtue” was originally called “Respect”, but had to be changed because a political party used the same name. 
- The girl in the opening scene, the one Alisha knew from school, is Ellie. Presumably the same Ellie Alisha mentions in episode 1. 
- The two other Virtue members that pass the gang are named Danny and Lucy.
- This deleted scene was too good not to write out. Simon, Kelly, and Nathan are discussing how to solve their Virtue problem and save Curtis and Alisha:
NATHAN relents, thinks a moment, has an idea...
NATHAN: Okay. How about we spike them?
KELLY’s exasperated.
NATHAN: We get them off their tits on acid. They’re hallucinating so bad they puke. When they come down, maybe they’re back to normal.
SIMON: D’you think that’ll work...?
NATHAN: Hands up who has a better idea.
Neither SIMON nor KELLY put their hand up. 
NATHAN: Then I’ll call my dealer...
NATHAN whips out his phone.
Cutting to a character that was revealed in another deleted scene that I didn’t list, Chewy. Massive stoner, surrounded by a variety of pills, yada yada. Chewy’s phone rings, he answers.
NATHAN: Chewy? It’s Nathan. Can you sort us out with some trips?
CHEWY: I don’t deal drugs any more.
We now see that CHEWY is using his other hand to comb his previously unruly hair into a neat side parting, which looks utterly ridiculous...
CHEWY: Nathan, mate. I’m telling you, drugs are bad news.They lead to a life of crime, mental illness and prostitution. 
NATHAN’s horrified by the response. He quickly ends the call, looks at KELLY, who can see there’s something badly wrong...
NATHAN: (appalled) They’ve got to him... Chewy... That boy’s been stoned every day since he was twelve. (angry, jabbing a finger) She’s gone too far this time. She has crossed the line.
- When Simon and Nathan are being surrounded by Virtue, Simon was supposed to punch Nathan instead of push him away.
- In the original script, when Simon was supposed to be evil, he kicked Nathan to the ground then battered him bloody with a baseball bat. In the storyboards, it looks like Simon intends to kill him. Nathan barely manages to escape thanks to Simon being interrupted by Virtue. 
- Superhoodie was originally introduced in a series of short online films recorded by Simon.
- In a deleted scene, Nathan takes refuge from Virtue in a place called Bar X. The scene was meant to be set up as a reference to The Shining. It’s empty. Nathan gets drunk and starts to reminisce with the bartender, James, about underage drinking, pulling girls, and how many times he’s gotten sick in the toilets there. There’s some odd tension in this scene between Nathan and James and I’m not sure what it is, but it’s amusing. 
- Nathan’s scene with Kelly in her flat is longer. There were some funny lines about her track suit and a lot more awkward fumbling as he tries to compliment the chav look. 
- There was supposed to be a Vegas Baby-esque montage of Nathan “arming” himself and getting dressed to infiltrate Virtue. We were ROBBED. 
- Kelly was supposed to stroke Nathan’s hand affectionately after putting his iPod in the coffin with him. R O B B E D .
- The graveyard scenes were filmed at Kensal Green Cemertary.
- Many of the people in the club after the funeral are Virtue members. 
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thtdamfangirl4 · 3 years
Text
thanks @pretend-im-normal for this set of questions!
i shall start with a christmas ask game (yes i know it’s january 28th) created by none other than archie’s husband
1. Their favorite Christmas tradition
I think for Archie it has to be baking christmas cookies. He loves doing it even if it’s just him, but especially doing it with the people he loves. He takes the decorating process way too seriously (this may or may not be inspired by my real life) and all the bois pitch in and reginald’s are always disturbing but annoyingly delicious and dorian’s are always a little goth and octavius’s are fabulous and archie keeps telling him that louboutins are not a christmas item but octavius insists that since he asked for them for christmas they should count, and archie loves him so he lets it slide. Eustace very carefully decorates and does his best and every time you eat one you can tell it’s full of love. Jasper wants everything to be as colorful as possible and he covers them in sprinkles. And nathaniel, lovely nathaniel, can’t decorate for shit but he just has fun with it and laughs the whole time and that makes archie’s chest feel tight for reasons he can’t explain until later. And then Archie and Nate finally start dating and during their first Christmas, aside from the bois cookie night, they do one of their own and Archie shows Nate how to decorate the way he does and Nate can’t quite get there but he’s following each direction with fervor and they look pretty good and he’s so proud of himself and Archie sneaks mistletoe into the kitchen and kisses him and now they do it every year, and every year Nate gets a little better. And eventually they have kids and they join the tradition (even the annual cookie decorating night with the bois), and Cam is fantastic at cookie decorating and Ben eats the dough and Archie swats him teasingly with a wooden spoon every time and Evie mixes icing colors cause she’s great at art and Nate washes dishes and makes a valiant effort and they dance around the kitchen and sing christmas music playing from Archie’s phone and he smiles the whole time and every year, he pulls out the mistletoe and kisses his husband and the kids go from thinking it’s cute to thinking it’s gross and embarrassing and all the way back to thinking it’s adorable when they’re old enough and one year Evie snaps a picture of it and it’s on the Christmas card the next year. Christmas is his favorite time of the year, and cookie days just feel like this magic untouchable place where he’s with his family and doing what he loves and to him, it is Christmas personified.
2. Their favorite Christmas song
It’s very hard to narrow down, so I’ll give a top three: All I Want for Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey, Last Christmas by Wham!, and Mary Did You Know by Pentatonix.
3. Their least favorite Christmas song
This will not come as a shock, because well... I’m Archie. It’s Michael Buble’s version of Santa Baby. He loves most of Michael’s Christmas music, but in his words, Michael Buble “needs to man up and be willing to fuck Santa or don’t bother singing the song.” He just made it weird by having it be Santa Buddy and Santa Pally. And Archie loves this song. He tweets Michael Buble about it every Christmas, begging him to erase it from existence.
4. Their general feelings about Christmas
Archie goes feral for Christmas. He loves everything about it. Fun, family, love, festivity, good music, good food, an excuse to bake 24/7, baby Jesus, buying presents, getting presents. Archie prides himself on being the Christmas Bitch. He’s especially fantastic at gift-giving.
5. Their favorite Christmas treat
Octavius’s homemade pizelles dipped in spiked hot chocolate.
6. The best gift they ever received
When Evie is like 20, she gives him a scrapbook for Christmas. It’s filled with pictures of Archie, Nathaniel, the kids, and the other bois over the years. Every page has Taylor Swift lyrics that relate to the images and stories, as well as messages she’s written and cute captions. In addition to pictures, there’s little mementos like ticket stubs or receipts or notes she’s collected from her dad and her aunts and uncles and scattered throughout the book are cutout lines from a printed out version of the poem he wrote for his and Nathaniel’s anniversary. Archie cries for like 3 hours.
7. The worst gift they ever received
One year, Jessica gets him in the PTA secret santa, and she gets him a few workout shirts and an expensive bottle of red wine. He’s so offended. To an outsider, this may seem like a nice gift, but it’s very clear that she got him the shirt because she disapproves of his crop tops. And she knows full well that he doesn’t really like red wine. He’s a white wine bitch. She knows. It’s been discussed.
8. The best gift they ever gave
He likes to joke that the best gift he’s ever given is the supplementary bundle of “free sex” coupons he gave to Nathaniel their first Christmas together (he also got him a fluffy bathrobe, a playlist of songs that remind him of nate, an anthology of queer writing and letters from historical figures, and a trip to color me mine, don’t worry). But the real best gift he ever gave was years later, when they’ve been married for 5 years. He surprises Nathaniel with a trip to New York, where he’s also gotten them tickets to a revival of Hamilton, they go on a tour of diner breakfasts, and then have a shopping and spa day. And then he has them get dressed up but Nathaniel doesn’t know why and after they go to a fancy dinner, he takes Nathaniel to the Woolworth building on Broadway (where the ball scene from Enchanted takes place), and the whole place has been rented out there’s the actual singer from the movie and they slow dance in the romantic lighting to So Close (their wedding song) and it’s endlessly romantic and both of them are crying a lot little.
9. The worst gift they ever gave
No. Archie has never given a bad gift in his life.
10. How they decorate their house
dude. DECK THE FUCKING HALLS. There are two trees. One is picture perfect and looks straight out of a hallmark movie, and the other one is covered in popcorn strings and tacky ornaments from movies and shows and homemade ones by the kids and Ben always puts too much tinsel on it and Cam eats the candy canes so it’s a little wonky and that one is not-so-secretly Archie’s favorite. Beautiful wreaths on the doors and windows outside. Beautiful real-looking garland and berries and red ribbon and little bells decorate the banisters and staircases. There are lights everywhere. Christmas paintings. Outside is decked the fuck out in lights of all colors, he loves the icicles, no blow ups, but he does get a moving reindeer made of lights, and it’s a whole winter wonderland. Lots of seasonal scented candles. White lights on the mantle. Always a fire burning in the fireplace. A beautiful handmade and well-lit nativity scene. Cinnamon scented pinecones everywhere. Santa, reindeer, and snowman figures are in a lot of places. He puts mistletoe above every doorway, molding, entryway, high cabinet, or anywhere he can hang it because the man loves love and he wants as many excuses as he can get to kiss his husband.
11. Their favorite Christmas memory
On Evie’s first Christmas, she gets all fussy and cries a lot while they’re at Octavius and Dorian’s for Christmas Eve and so they go home early and they put her to bed but it’s only like 8pm. So they have their own end to the night and it’s just them in their pajamas, watching The Holiday and Love Actually while drinking tea and they just cuddle up under a blanket. Archie gives Nate forehead kisses and they fall asleep curled up on the couch halfway through The Year Without a Santa Claus. And he wakes up and Nate isn’t there anymore and he finds him holding Evie in her rocking chair humming Christmas songs to her and he just watches from the doorway until Nate finally looks up and smiles at him. And then they get everything ready cause everyone they know is coming to their house for Christmas and Evie wears an adorable Christmas onesie and they all open presents but. Those like 12 hours. Cuddling with Nathaniel and watching christmas romcoms and waking up to see his husband rocking their beautiful baby daughter to christmas songs. Yeah. That one’s his favorite.
12. Their least favorite Christmas memory
When he was like 12 (back in the regency days) he got sick on Christmas and couldn’t go to any of the events or parties and he hated it. But other than that,,, there’s a reason Christmas is his favorite time of year. It’s magic for him.
13. if/Where they travel for the holidays
Nah. He always stays home. He’s the Christmas Hostess With The Mostest. Always home for Christmas. He, Nathaniel, and the kids do go to Disney World for the week before/including New Year’s one year though.
14. Who they spend the holidays with
Obviously: Nathaniel, Octavius, Dorian, Reginald, Jasper, Eustace, Tyler, (and eventually) Evie, Ben, and Cam, and Eustace and Tyler’s kids. Gigi, Chloe, Jackie, and Liza, switch off every year whether they’re with family or the bois. Lynn and Suzanne always come to Christmas Eve and stop by on Christmas day before going to see their families. Every once in a while, Reginald brings a Doug who had nowhere else to go.
15. All of their Christmas traditions (not just their favorite XD)
jesus. well some have been listed. Cookies, decorating, hanging mistletoe fucking everywhere. he starts listening to Christmas music on November 1st. Snowball fight with the whole crew. Snowman contest with the whole crew. Getting drunk and watching Hallmark/Netflix Christmas movies. Making cinnamon rolls for christmas morning. wearing an entire christmas wardrobe in the month of december. Christmas treats at the bakery. Looking hot at Nathaniel’s work Christmas party. Wrapping presents for weeks after the kids go to bed. Making the world’s best hot cocoa. Bugging Octavius for his pizelle recipe (he won’t give it up). tweeting one direction and begging them to reunite for a Christmas album. Rewatching all the holiday seasons of the Great British Bake Off. Making roast for Christmas dinner. Making mulled wine at some point. Game day with the crew the day after Christmas. Writing Nate a poem every Christmas they’re usually really bad . eating one candy cane per season out of obligation and then going back to his hatred of mint. buying a million seasonal items at Bath and Body Works. watching It’s a Wonderful Life with Nathaniel on Christmas Eve Eve. Dressing his kids in christmas pajamas. That’s all I can think of for now.
okay i’m finally done this took me almost two hours oh my god. happy frat boi-ing.
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imlovethomassanders · 4 years
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Destined - Chapter 5 (FINAL)
You can also read on ao3
Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck around for the whole thing! I hope you enjoy this last chapter!
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4
Summary: Damien never wanted soulmates. When his fifteenth birthday came, he prayed he wouldn’t receive a “hint” - a way soulmates are connected to help find each other. And to Damien’s horror, the universe gives him multiple soulmates. He’s determined to not let them find out about them. He wants to let them live in ignorant bliss and not force them to deal with him. As Damien grows older, he moves away and goes to college - He even manages to find a boyfriend that he chose himself, and Damien tells himself that he’s happy. But on Damien’s twentieth birthday, the universe gives him and his soulmates another hint - and this one is not one Damien can avoid.
Pairing: DLAMP
Warnings:Abusive romantic relationship (physically, sexually, and verbally), past physical parental abuse, sex and alcohol mentions,  general angst (but happy ending)
Words: 3030
Taglist:
@touchstarvedvirgil
@lamp-calm-sanders
@ninjago2020
@confinesofpersonalknowledge
@secret-novelisthost18
@phander-sides
@sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet​
@fortheloveofvirgil​
@what-up-dudesss
@roxiefox24
@stan-logan-you-cowards
Damien pushed an actor out of the makeup room and huffed as he closed the door. Finally, it was the last scene of the last performance. He allowed himself to lean against the door and take a breath. He was the one person in charge of makeup and the director decided to cast a musical with thirty actors. He was exhausted. But he knew he couldn't relax just yet.
He heard the final number begin to play and he went to pack up all this things before the actors rushed in. As soon as he packed his bag and hit it under the bench so no one would mess with it, the door swung open and the room was filled with actors, all buzzing with excitement.
"Damien, can you wash the gray out of my hair?" "Damien, I can't get my eyeliner off." "Damien, is there any makeup still on my face?" "Damien, do you have a hairbrush I could borrow?" "Damien, I need more makeup wipes."
"Brush it out with this first and then I'll come back to you to get the last of it out." "Here, use this instead. It's specifically for eye makeup." "There's a little under your jawline." "There's one on the end of the counter." "Here, I have plenty more."
When things finally relaxed, he found where Roman was sitting and collapsed on the bench next to him.
Damien was not particularly pleased with how much time he's had to spend lately with the eccentric Thespian. With dress rehearsals and performances the last week, Roman and him have had to see a lot of each other, which was the opposite of what Damien wanted. But the theatre came first, so Damien sucked it up and did his job.
"Thanks for all the help these last few nights," Roman said as he wiped makeup from his forehead. Damien grunted.
"Thanks for actually knowing what you're doing and not requiring my assistance every damn second."
Roman laughed.
"Seriously. I swear, you were the only person who paid attention at my base makeup demonstration. Everyone else was bothering me to help them."
"You're incredible."
Damien prayed that he wasn't blushing.
"...You still have makeup on your neck and side of your face," Damien noticed and he reached for another makeup wipe. He placed his other hand on Roman's face and started removing his makeup, which wasn't unusual. He helped plenty of other actors remove their makeup, especially the men who weren't used to wearing it. But then he noticed the sly way Roman was looking at him. Roman gently took Damien's hand that was holding his cheek and kissed his palm. Damien scowled at him and hit him in the face with the makeup wipe before finishing.
Roman waited for Damien to finish helping the other actors to get them to leave and helped him clean up the makeup room, and the two were finally able to leave. Once the two made it to the lobby, the other three rushed to them to congratulate them. When Damien was complimented on the special effects makeup he did, he brushed them off. He still didn't know how to respond to compliments.
"Damien, we usually go out after Roman's performances," Patton explained. "But if you really don't want to, we can just head back home."
Damien could tell Patton was just making the offer to be polite. He knew the four of them really wanted to go out. Damien really didn't want to, but he knew he should since they were letting him stay in their apartment, and he didn't want to become such a burden on them.
"I don't care."
And that's how Damien found himself at iHop, squished in a booth between a window and Roman. Apparently, iHop was a theatre kid tradition, since they saw plenty of other actors there.
Patton sat on the other side of Roman while Logan and Virgil sat across.
Damien spent most of the time just staring out the window, ignoring the conversation and the food Patton had ordered for him. That was until Roman said his name.
"Hm?" Damien hummed as he turned towards them.
"I asked how you got into theatre. Did your parents take you to a show when you were young? That's how I got into it."
Damien grimaced.
"Um... no. I just discovered some cast recordings in middle school and watched a lot of bootlegs."
"Oh. Well, what was your first show? Mine was The Sound of Music."
"I haven't had the chance to see a musical live outside of school performances."
Roman's eyes widened.
"Well, I can't allow that! I am always a seasonal ticket holder at the regional Orpheum, and starting today, you will always be my plus one. The Lion King is coming next week."
Damien's heart leaped. That sounded so incredible. But...
"That's a very nice offer, Roman," Damien said as he turned his attention back out the window. "But I'm afraid that won't be necessary. I'll be gone soon."
Roman's smile disappeared and he looked at the others, but they didn't know what to say.
"Come on, Dee. At least let him take you to The Lion King," Virgil said.
"But don't feel pressured to!" Patton quickly added.
"...We'll see."
That wasn't a definite no, so the they relaxed a bit as they continued their conversation.
But they didn't let Damien go again. They kept asking him questions to keep him engaged, and somehow, Damien found himself not hating it. He tried his best not to show it, though.
Once Patton finally got Damien to laugh at one of his jokes, he gave Damien a soft smile that he hoped let him know that he belonged here. He fit with them, they wanted him.
Damien glanced away from Patton as his throat tightened.
Damien tried to keep a balance of distancing himself while also not being terribly rude to his helpers, but he was failing miserable. Whether it was Roman sweeping him into a dance mirroring the one playing on the current Disney movie, or Logan reading to him to calm him down, or Patton dotting cookie dough on his nose when he helped in the kitchen, or Virgil lounging beside him and showing him just, just like they used to - whatever it was, Damien found himself entranced.
Besides, what's the harm of indulging himself a bit before they inevitably get sick of him?
Damien had just been watching a movie, when the next thing he knew there was a pillow fort being built around him by Roman and Patton. And now he was lying on the floor between the others.
His phone dinged, and when he checked it he saw it was a confirmation email from an apartment complex saying his background check was cleared and that he could come down and try to work out paperwork.
"Are you okay, dear?" Roman asked from his direct left.
"I'm leaving soon," Damien said as he  put his phone back in his pocket.
They all froze, and Damien couldn't stand the tense silence that fell over them.
"Why, sweetie?" Patton asked, pain evident in his voice.
"It will be better that way."
He didn't expect them to understand yet, but once he's gone they'll realize how much better it is when they don't have to deal wit him.
Virgil placed a hand on Damien's right arm and Damien went to move his arm out of Virgil's grasp, but when he saw Virgil's hurt eyes gazing up at him, he let Virgil wrap an arm around his.
"I just got you back," Virgil whispered as tears welled in his eyes. He quickly ducked his head onto Damien's shoulder to hide his face. "You can't just leave again."
"Talk to us, Damien," Logan said as he sat up from his spot on the other side of Roman. "Tell us what we can do to help."
"There's nothing you can do," Damien said, trying to ignore the wet spots forming on his shoulder.
"Please, what's troubling you, darling?" Roman asked.
"Nothing you can fix."
"Let us try."
"I can't let you do that."
"Damien, please," Patton cried. "Let us help you-"
"Stop." Damien snapped. "Just stop. If I stay, you're just going to get sick of me. You're going to find out how awful I am to have around, and I don't want to be here when you finally realize how unlovable I am."
Silence.
"Damien," Virgil said with a shaky breath. "You were an asshole when I first met you, and yet you still managed to make me fall in love with you..."
Damien's eyes widened.
"Who did this to you?" Roman whispered. "Who was so evil that they tricked you into believing such lies?"
"No one tricked me," Damien muttered. "It's just the truth no one has ever loved me before. Not even my own mother. Not until Jackson, at least. But you four are adamant he never really loved me."
"You don't hurt the people you love," Roman said defensively. "We can't let you think that's how love is supposed to be."
"Well, there you go," Damien snapped. "Everyone I've ever loved never loved me back."
"Oh, sweetie, I'm sure someone-"
"No, Patton," Damien interrupted. "My mother literally tried to kill me. All my foster parents abandoned me. None of my classmates liked me, my teachers hated me, my counselors gave up on me. No one has ever loved me."
"You're mother did what?" Patton whispered as he sat up, all four of them staring at him in horror. Virgil tightened his grip on Damien's arm.
Damien groaned as he ran his hands down his face.
"Look, it'll just hurt all of us if I stay. You'll understand in time."
"No, no, sweetie, wait," Patton said as tears welled in his eyes. "Please don't leave, we-"
"I love you," Virgil whispered into Damien's shoulder. "I don't expect you to say it back, but I want you to know I love you. Every part of you."
"A troubled past does not diminish one's self worth," Logan said.
"I know we haven't known you as long as Virgil has," Patton said through tears. "But we care about you so so so much."
"Damien beloved, darling, dearest," Roman said gently as he raised a hand to cup Damien's cheek. "More than anything, we want you to be happy. But know that we want you here, with us, in our relationship and our lives. We know it won't always be easy, but we want to work it out with you. For you, dear, anything."
"...No," Damien whispered as he gently moved Virgil off of him. "No, no, no. This can't happen."
"Damien, what-"
"I didn't know how much I had fooled you already," Damien interrupted Virgil as he sat up. "I can't let myself deceive you into thinking I'm good for you."
"No, Damien, wait!" Virgil cried as Damien stood up. Virgil reached for his wrist but caught himself, and Damien locked himself in the bedroom.
Damien didn't let himself see the others at all over the next few days. He responded to the email to set up an appointment time. Everything would be resolved soon.
As Damien quickly walked out of the campus building, he checked his phone for the time. If he hurried, he could get back to the apartment before the others do.
He cut through a student parking lot when he heard a familiar voice.
"Damien!"
Damien didn't even look behind him before he started running, but it wasn't long until there was a hand around his wrist and he was being pinned against a van.
"Where have you been, Damien?" Jackson asked. "I've missed you."
His grip grew tighter.
"You have to come home, Damien. I-"
Damien kneed Jackson's stomach, used that brief moment that Jackson let go of him to try to run, but Jackson quickly grabbed Damien's wrist again and slammed Damien back against the van, slapping his face before grabbing Damien's hair.
"You're really trying to run away from me again Damien? You really want to get in trouble, huh?"
Damien felt tingling on his arm.
"What's going on here?"
Damien looked over to see Patton and his face paled as fear shot through him. He couldn't let Patton get hurt. Oh, god, Patton was going to get hurt and it was all his fault-
"Who are you?"
"A friend. Now I'm going to have to ask you to let go of him."
"Look, you really need to mind your own business and leave before I-"
"Patton!" someone yelled. They heard heavy footsteps running towards them before Roman came into view. "I saw your message," he said, holding up his right arm.
It was very unnerving to see the usually very happy and excited Roman now look very intimidating and very, very angry.
"Let go of Damien. Now."
"So these are your soulmates?" Jackson laughed as he pressed his arm against Damien's throat. "What happened to not wanting anything to do with them?"
"I said let. Him. Go." Roman said as he walked towards Jackson. Jackson threw Damien behind him and Damien hissed in pain as his hands made contact with the concrete. In his peripheral, he saw Patton duck behind a car. Jackson shoved Roman away from him, but Damien's view of the fighting was soon blocked by Patton kneeling in front of him.
"You're okay. It's okay," Patton assured him. "Deep breaths. There you go. You're doing great."
Patton gently but quickly got Damien to stand up to lead lead him away.
"Where do you think you're going?" Jackson called out. Damien whirled around and quickly blocked the punch that was heading towards Patton's face. Patton yelled out as he caught Damien who staggered back. Roman quickly kicked the back of Jackson's knees and pinned his arms back once he fell.
And that's when Logan and Virgil ran over with campus police.
Damien collapsed onto the couch once they got home. Explaining what happened to the officers took longer than he liked. Of course Jackson tried to defend himself, but once they checked the parking lot cameras, he didn't have much of a case. Roman's attack on Jackson was ruled as self defense, and Jackson would be charged accordingly. It was then agreed that Damien would get a restraining order.
Virgil came to sit beside him as the others whispered in the kitchen.
"I'm so glad you're okay," Virgil said. "...I'm so sorry."
"What for?"
"That you had to deal with that monster for so long."
Damien didn't say anything. But when Virgil opened his arms, Damien hesitated only for a second before falling into them.
"They put themselves in harms way for me," Damien whispered as he looked at Roman and Patton. Roman was being dote on by Patton over his acquired scrapes and bruises, and Damien was sure that Patton would do the same to him, too.
"Of course they did," Virgil said softly. "...Are you still thinking of leaving?"
Damien sat up from Virgil's arms, and worry flashed over Virgil's face.
"Because you know we won't stop you from leaving, but we're worried that you don't realize how much we care about-"
"No," Damien whispered.
"Huh?"
"I'm not leaving. I don't think I could even if I wanted to."
A large grin grew on Virgil's face and he opened his mouth to say something but paused when Damien placed a hand on his cheek.
The two gazed at each other for a moment, and then Damien kissed Virgil.
Kissing Virgil was so much softer than Damien ever imagined kissing someone could be. Virgil's arms wrapped securely around Damien's waist, and Damien felt safe.
They parted and gazed at each other, but only for a moment before they both leaned forward to reconnect their lips. Virgil made Damien feel cared for, adored, loved. Tears fell down Damien's cheeks as he placed his other hand on Virgil's other cheek and pulled Virgil closer, desperate for as much contact he could get. He couldn't think of a time before when he was handled so lovingly.
The next time they parted, Virgil gingerly wiped the tears from Damien's cheeks.
"I love you," Damien whispered. Virgil's eyes widened but a soft smile graced his face.
"I love you, too."
He leaned in for one more gentle kiss that made Damien's cheeks grow even more red.
When they separated for the last time, Virgil looked behind them and smirked to see a beaming Patton and a blushing Logan and Roman.
"Come here," Damien pleaded, and they quickly came and joined them on the couch, Roman sitting on his right side with Logan by Virgil and Patton by Roman.
Damien pressed a kiss on Roman's jaw where a bruise was forming.
"Thank you," Damien whispered. "All of you."
"Of course, my angel," Roman murmured as he kissed the top of Damien's head.
"Does this mean you're staying?" Patton asked, trying and failing to hide the hope in his voice.
"Yes," Damien said as he curled into Virgil's side. "If you'll have me. You all make me want to try."
"Of course, sweetie," Patton cooed as he reached over Roman for Damien's hand.
Damien soon moved onto the couch, insistent that he's been hogging the bedroom for far too long. But it wouldn't be that much longer before he moved into the bedroom with them.
First kisses would soon be shared between Damien and Patton, then Roman, then Logan, and later then the first "I love you"s. But it wasn't always easy. On the road to recovery, Damien sometimes found himself take a few steps back. He'd get angry and lash out, or say something he'd regret. Sometimes the others argued back, and sometimes they'd accidentally make Damien flinch. But they always ensured that things ended okay. None of them liked to fight, and any disagreements would quickly bubble down and end with what Patton called the "cuddle puddle."
Damien was happy, he was safe, and he was loved - things he used to never imagine for himself. And for the first time, he was certain he was where he needed to be.
Thanks so much to everyone who hung around for this whole thing! And thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot!
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dwtsfun · 4 years
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Dancing with the Stars Season 29 Week 5: Was It Acceptable in the 80s?
Yes, I know that this is not an 80s song. I just thought it was a cute reference. So this week was 80s night, as the title suggests, and I really enjoyed it. I think this has been the best night so far because, Tyra seemed a lot more at ease, a lot of the couples are really improving, the dances were longer, everyone just seemed like they were having a really good time and the right couple was eliminated. Tyra looked great except for that very first jumpsuit. There was too much material around her torso area. Otherwise, her hair, makeup and clothes were on point tonight. And there was only one WTF score. Though it was a really big WTF score. More on that later. With that said, let’s get into this.
FYI this will be my last week ranking the couples. I will go back to how I usually do this next week.
1. Johnny and Britt- Johnny is really getting it now. Remember when I said that AJ was the best natural mover of the men at that point, but there were two others that could be better once they get things figured out. Yeah, well Johnny finally got his nerves under control. This was his best dance by far. He had complete and total control over his limbs. His lines were exquisite. He really glided across the floor. This was incredible. And Britt’s choreography was *muah* so good. These two are the couple to beat at this point.
2. Nelly and Daniella- Was this dance technically perfect? No. But for me, it was my favorite dance of the night. I wasn’t expecting much from it. I expected Nelly to stay on time, groove a little bit, improve a little bit in the performance department, but not too much but still remain kinda stiff from fear of looking silly. I also didn’t really expect to see much samba bounce. Idk what happened this week, but Nelly completely gave himself to the dance. And he was great! His technique was really good. He was light on his feet. He loosened up so much. He was having so much FUN! And I was having so much fun watching them. Daniella is killing it this season. And Nelly was the other man that I said might be a better natural mover than AJ. And tonight, he showed that as well. 
3. Kaitlyn and Artem-  I don’t think Kaitlyn will ever have a bad dance. While it was very very good and technically superior to most other dances tonight, it was still too pretty and soft for a tango for me. What made this shoot up this high for me was the end. I was not expecting that little b-boy/b-girl moment. But we got it. And I was really impressed. So it made me enjoy the dance that much more. That was smart for Artem to incorporate that into their dance. I think that will definitely help out their case with votes moving forward in this competition.
4. Skai and Alan- I really enjoyed this dance a lot. At the very beginning, Skai was nervous and stiff. But as the dance went on, she loosened up and really went for it. There were some problems with coming out of the lifts, but I thought Skai did a good job tonight. I personally think that it was her best performance to date.
5. Jeannie and Brandon- I really enjoyed this dance. This was the first time that I felt that Jeannie was in complete control of her body. I also have to agree with Carrie Ann. Jeannie is the most exciting dancer there. You never know what this couple will bring to the floor and she always pushes herself to the very edge. I think that is what will end up taking them to the end. They are in a really good spot right now to really make a real run at that MBT.
6. Justina and Sasha- This was a great way to start off a fantastic night. Justina killed it. While I think Sasha could have pushed the choreography a little bit more, I still enjoyed what they did. It was cute. I wish they didn’t have that one moment when they went out of sync, but it happened. Otherwise, it could have gotten straight 9s. The only reason why it is this far down on my rankings is because I felt the choreo from the other 5 couples was stronger.
7. Nev and Jenna- This was a good dance. I didn’t care for the choreography though. Nev’s posture was off a few times. They also lost body contact. But Nev is a great dancer. I’m just waiting for that wow moment from them.
8. AJ and Cheryl- I think this was AJ’s best dance of the season and it is a shame that he got the same score that he got last week. His posture is much improved. I think his frame has gotten so much better too. It is still a little wonky, but that can be fixed. His footwork is a lot cleaner too. It was a great dance. It just sucks that he got saddled with a slow waltz on a night like this. It’s not a bad thing per se. It’s just difficult to stand out with a waltz when everyone else has high energy dances and the 80s are all about high energy, vibrancy, eclecticism etc etc. Even a Viennese waltz would have stood out more in my opinion.
I’m just going to put right here that there is a clear divide in ability between these 8 couples and the next 4 couples.
9. Monica and Val- This was the WTF moment of the night. In no way shape or form should Monica be 3rd on the leaderboard with this dance. She is ties with Nev and one point behind Kaitlyn. And everybody that she scored 2 points higher than, was WAY better than her. I am not sure what the reasoning was behind giving her this score. My hope is that it was just to “make up” for their error from last week and that she goes back to being scored appropriately. She should have gotten no more than a 22. Let me tell you why. Monica does not have good posture. She also is hesitant in her movements. The choreography was a little hectic so she looked like she was trying to catch back up the whole time. Now she has gorgeous legs and her lines were beautiful. And it was an improvement from last week. It was her best dance to date actually. It just wasn’t 26 worthy.
10. Vernon and Peta- I’m sad that Vernon is not a better dancer. He tries really hard. He wants to be there. He has fun. I’m just not sure what isn’t connecting for him. It’s not like he just isn’t a good dancer at all. There is something there. I just don’t know why it’s going unrealized. Maybe it has something to do with Peta’s choreography because that has been lacking this season. I’m not sure. But it’s really unfortunate to place him here and realize that he’s probably got a good 2 weeks left in him before he’s eliminated.
11. Chrishell and Gleb- I am so sick of Gleb not choreographing a dance with content. Does he not know how to do it? What is going on? Why won’t he choreograph the dance that he’s been assigned? It’s baffling to me. As for Chrishell, this went about the way that I expected. She doesn’t have much rhythm and she was pretty stiff. The technique wasn’t great. But during the side by side portions, she actually did alright. I just wish she was with a different partner. She has potential. Gleb just happens to be the worst pro to put her with.
12. Jesse and Sharna- Well. Jesse was the right person to go home tonight. He just wasn’t able to compete anymore. And of the four at the bottom, he’s the one that I just can’t see giving a good dance ever. I do think that his performance slightly improved tonight. But that’s about it. The rest of the dance was very underwhelming. It felt very pedestrian to me, he was slouching a bit and he messed up quite a few times. He gave it his best, but it was time. 
So that’s it. Let me know what you all thought about tonight and I will talk to you all soon.
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spaceorphan18 · 4 years
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1-15 for the writers meme for ‘With Every Broken Bone.’ (I’m in a rereading mood for fanfic and I’m thinking about rereading this). Also you know I love this one!!
Aww thank you dear <3 Now I won’t shut up about process and the ins and outs of writing, lol... 
1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
When season 6 came along, admittedly, I had a really hard time reconciling going from a happy ending in season 5 to broken in season 6.  And writing about it kind of was an interesting cross-section of therapy and analysis.   While I was figuring out the timeline of events -- I noticed that there were some interesting parallels/juxtapositions going on, and because I thought I may not be writing more Klaine fic after this one (ha) I might as well take my own spin on a few famous portions of Klaine’s story.  
2: What scene did you first put down?
I tend to write chronologically, so the opening flashback scene was probably first.  I can’t fully remember.  I did have a whole outline, though, before writing. 
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?
Hmmm, I’m not entirely sure, since a lot of the specific narration I don’t remember as much anymore.  I do love the entire month of June chapter, though, which is mostly narration.  I love that it’s Kurt finally getting what he thought he wanted -- to be alone -- and finding himself through that, but also that even he can experience loneliness when having too much distance from everyone else.  
Also early in the story when Kurt goes dancing with a guy and he starts to connect to him -- feeling Blaine through him -- only to realize the dude isn’t Blaine and basically has a panic attack.  That moment was always really clear in my head, and I liked writing that one.  
4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?
Oh, ha, it’s, like, my favorite line of dialogue ever, cause it’s a delightful metaphor for Klaine’s story at the time (And I’m sure people aren’t really that impressed with what I find clever, and are sick of me quoting myself, but I’m still amused by it) 
“You know what it’s like?  It’s like I stubbed my toe.  And my toe hurt. A lot.  And I tried to ignore the pain in my toe, but after a while it got so bad that something had to be done.  So, instead of taking care of my toe, I chopped off my foot.  Do you know how much worse chopping off your foot feels? Of course it took me four months to figure out how much it fucking hurts.  And now I don’t have a foot.  Just a bloody stump.  I shouldn’t have cut it off.  I could have fixed the toe.”
In addition, I also really enjoy some of the convos with Mercedes -- the one where she’s discussing her break up with Sam, and how, in a way, the two break ups are similar.  I also love the July flashback with Mercedes -- because it foreshadows a lot of the story, and I thought it was rather clever.  
5: What part was hardest to write?
The July chapter! Oh god, I think I had most of the rest of the fic done and kept having to put that on pause.  I wanted Kurt to have another romantic interest during the summer - and get a sense of what casual relationships are like, and discover what he’s like in relationships that aren’t with Blaine.  And to have to do that, set it up, pay it off, go through the whole thing and have it be meaningful was really hard.  It took a long time to figure it out.  
Not as difficult, but still I found challenge with, the flash back to the first break up.  Trying to figure out how Kurt felt differently, and exploring how it was a different thing in a short amount of time was difficult. 
The September flashback was difficult, too, because I needed Blaine to be frustrated without being too needy, or too much a bad guy.  I know betas and talking it out helped a lot on that one. 
6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
This was my first big fic for Glee, and the first one where I felt like I was a decent writer.  It also helped me figure out Kurt and the show in a way that I hadn’t before, and I love the character more from writing it.  
7: Where did the title come from?
The lyrics of ‘I Lived’ -- I thought it was a nice touch that it was the last song on the show, and it fit with story I was trying to tell.  
8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?
Yes! A lot of my experiences of New York I wrote into it here and there.  
Also the story about thunder being god bowling.  I had a cousin who used to tell me that so it didn’t seem so scary. 
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
Not really? The only big thing I cut out was an extension of the stuff with June Dalloway in chp 3 (?) -- my betas talked me into cutting that way down, and they were right to do so.  
10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?
I mean, well, they’re who I write. The pairing picked the story. 
11: What do you like best about this fic?
I really love the story it explores with Kurt in it.  I’m proud of how Kurt grows in it, and how I feel it does bridge the two seasons nicely.  I really love how it gets deep into Kurt’s psyche -- drawing on canon as much as I could to paint a full picture of who he is.  I think he’s a fleshed out and flawed character, and he feels real to me in this one.  
I also really love that I was restrained in my use of Blaine -- he’s a ghost that haunts this story, and I was fascinated with the idea.  I think it really comes through.  Blaine is always there, even when he’s not, even when Kurt’s trying hard to move on.  You miss Blaine in the story, but that’s intentional -- because Kurt deeply misses Blaine.  
12: What do you like least about this fic?
There are still some parts that feel a little clunky to me.  Certain sections that maybe go on too long, or not long enough.  I can tell it’s an earlier fic of mine -- I could have worked on better and more concise sentence structure in a lot of places.  I could have fleshed a few ideas out.  And the October chapter, which is all of season 6, goes on a little too long -- and it feels slightly out of place, but I knew it did even when writing it -- I’m not sure how I’d re do it, but it feels slightly different than the rest of the fic.  
I give myself a lot of leeway because it was my first time writing one, but the sex scene was a bit on the simple side.  It felt more like an obligation - and I was super scared to write it, and basically my betas had to help me construct it cause I had no idea what I was doing and felt funny writing it.  
I also think the Nov. flashback is a little too cheesy, but I was trying to get in all the last minute canon references, so I left it in there.  
13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
Yeah, I had a whole playlist for this one!! 
Chapter 1 (March): Teenage Dream - Darren Criss
Chapter 2 (April): Shake it Out (Acoustic) - Florence and the Machine
Chapter 3 (May): Rockstar - A Great Big World
Chapter 4 (June): I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow
Chapter 5 (July): Daydream Believer - Mary Beth Maziarz
Chapter 6 (August): Dream City - Free Energy
Chapter 7 (September): Head Over Feet (Acoustic) - Alanis Morissette
Chapter 8 (October): Halo - Beyonce
Chapter 9 (November): I Live - Fate Under Fire
Each of the chapters kind of had a musical aesthetic going on with it! Also intentional were the use of Kurt solos as chapter titles -- those paired along with each chapter purposely.  
14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?
I have no idea - that’s up to them to get anything out of it.  
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?
I did! I learned a lot about writing (which having a few fantastic betas really be strict with my writing helped a lot).  I got myself out of some bad habits, and tried to be more introspective than I had been with previous writings.  And I just felt like I stepped up when it came to writing.  I think this is far from a perfect piece of writing, but I’m proud of how it turned out. 
I also learned a lot about Kurt, he became a part of me writing this, and now his story is much more special to me than it had been before.  And I learned a lot about Glee -- how it is as a show, and how it works, cause I looked at the structure of canon, and how it was written.  
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killedbykellers · 4 years
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Reasons Why I Don’t Like Barchie
Let me start off by saying that I don't really have a ship for any of the teens really. There are some that I like more than others and there are a couple that are 100% my NOTPs (Barchie being one of them), but I'm not a Bughead stan, a Varchie stan, a Beronica stan, a Choni stan, etc. I mainly focus on the plot and the parents. Ships aren't my main focus most of the time. But I haven't been able to watch this season since Barchie got so much bigger and I'll tell you why.
When I started to watch Riverdale, I was 100% in Betty's shoes. I had a big crush on my best friend and I thought that eventually we'd end up together and when I thought he liked me back, I got rejected just like Betty and was expected to continue to move on as best friends as if nothing happened. But just like Betty, it was too hard and too painful. That happened to me irl only about a few weeks before I watched it happen on Riverdale and I went through that heartbreak all over again. I've seen shippers praising the exact scene where Archie broke Betty's heart after the dance. I don't understand why you could praise a scene where he HURT her. It would be the same vice versa....if she had broken his heart. Either way, it's not romantic at all. She went into her room and probably cried that night. Something I know well about feeling unwanted.
I know several people blame Grundy for that, but that doesn't make any sense. Here's why. Archie never looked at Betty the way he looked at Veronica THE SECOND, she showed up in Pop's her first night in Riverdale. Right there is a clear sign that he wasn't interested in Betty. He proposed to her when they were younger, yes. But they grew up, still really close to each other, and he never asked her out. Meaning he either didn't see her the way he saw Veronica that first day, or he really did just want to stay friends with Betty. Back to Grundy. People say that Archie felt drawn to Grundy so he rejected Betty. But if it were because of Grundy, why, only two episodes after Grundy leaves, did Archie go straight for VALERIE and NOT Betty? Grundy left in Season 1, Episode 4. Which means Archie could have gotten with Betty (if she really was his first choice) in Season 1, Episode 5. I know, I know. It was too soon, right? Hm? Then why did Archie get with Valerie in Season 1, Episode 6? That's not even that much longer after Grundy left. So when people say that Archie has loved Betty this whole time, it doesn't feel true to me, because if she really was his first choice, he would've gone right to her once Grundy was gone, but nope. He chose Valerie first. Also...he kissed Veronica in Episode 1, which shows that Grundy was definitely not stopping him from kissing other girls. They both KNEW Betty liked him yet they kissed anyway even though they WERE just gonna stand in the closet and not do anything till time was up, but they kissed anyway because they were attracted to each other. If Archie was attracted to Betty from the get-go, he wouldn't have held back from kissing her the moment he knew she liked him. He liked Veronica that way, not Betty. So I'm debunking the Grundy theory.
Another thing that bothers me is when people call Jughead "Betty's rebound" off of Archie. Hm...if that was true, I doubt she would've stayed with her "rebound" as long as 4 years. Especially since Betty and Archie have both been single at the same time yet she still chose Jughead over him. She fell for Jug after he finally gave her back the stuff she's been waiting for from Archie. So Jughead was and is not a rebound. If anything, Veronica was ARCHIE's rebound. But not from Betty. FROM VALERIE. He got drunk af at Jughead's birthday party because it was right after Val left him for being a terrible boyfriend (which he clearly is) and after Val threw her drink in his face, he got more drunk and then Veronica kissed him and he was like "Oh, sure. I'll sleep with you since you kissed me and I'm upset and Val left me."
Back to Archie being a terrible boyfriend (aside from when he was with Josie). With Val...he ignored her and only gave her attention when he was gaining something with his music. Then Cheryl's family gave him an opportunity to go to a good music school, so boom, he ignored Val's wish not to be Cheryl's date to her family Maple Gathering. Dumb move. No wonder Val told him she was done. Then...with Veronica, he kissed Betty. But then Betty was not interested (Hmmm, because she loves her “”rebound”” Jughead so much). And then Veronica told Archie to stay away from Hiram and what did Archie do? Completely ignored her and got stuck in some big mob mess and illegal shit. Then he broke up with her over the phone when she was trying to support him. So she got with Reggie who treated her so well (yes, they had problems too) but he was so whipped for her, let's be real. He did everything she wanted and he would've done anything for her. Then they had their issues and broke up but they were about to get back together, LITERALLY, just as Archie showed up and was all "I love you. Come back to me" and Veronica was obviously still not over him, so poor Reggie had no chance and then Veronica got back with Archie who she should not have gotten back with. She was amazing to him (all of his friends were) when his father passed away. But VERONICA talked him out of saying that his father would be ashamed of him and she made him see otherwise and told him that Fred would be proud of him. That's a GOOD girlfriend. Meanwhile, Archie still has eyes for other girls (Betty now apparently). But anyway. I'm just saying that Betty AND Veronica both deserve a better guy than Archie Andrews.
I just don't see why any girl on this show would be shipped with him. Remember when Veronica decided to kiss Jughead to even the playing field after they told Jug about Barchie kissing? Archie looked pissed. Like wtf? You kissed Betty when you were STILL WITH VERONICA. At least Betty and Jughead were over at the time. I don't believe Archie had a right to look so mad about Jeronica's little fun/platonic kiss when what he did was behind Veronica's back and while they were still together. Her and Jug "getting even" was right there in front of the other two and playful. Nothing to be angry or possessive about Archie. Jeez.
The only time he was an outstanding boyfriend was with Josie and that was the only time I was actually EXCITED to watch Archie scenes. They were great together and they both EQUALLY supported each other and helped each other through things. Not to say that Archie doesn't have good qualities, because he does. He's been trying to clean up Riverdale and he helped Veronica figure out how to get Hiram to fight through his sickness. But I just really can't see him with Betty after everything they've been through without each other. They barely talk anyway till now when they're FAKING being together.
Bonus: There are people who talk about how Archie and Betty doing investigations together are better than Betty and Jughead. But the only time Betty and Archie did an investigation together was to figure out who the Black Hood was and they ended up unmasking the wrong person. Their janitor, who was actually innocent. So clearly, Betty and Jughead are a better team. Not to mention, Archie can really be one of the biggest dumbasses in Riverdale.
THE COMICS: Yes. I know they are canon in the comics. But we well know that the comics and the show are VERY different (Did you know that Penny Peabody and Fangs Fogarty are supposed to be endgame like they are in the comics??? But Riverdale made Penny a 30 year old and Fangs a 16 year old, so that became a "NO" right away. Hence...the difference between the show and the comics). Also....there are comics where Betty kisses Archie behind Veronica's back when Varchie were together and she kissed him without his consent in the dark when he thought he was kissing Veronica (A BIG "NO"). So the comics aren't really a good template to follow. Especially since nowadays, I really don't see chemistry between Lili and KJ. Their fake kiss in the music room (I've seen it on Twitter, because I still haven't seen 4x16) was so awkward and weird to watch. It was so bad. Idk. I can't get behind it.
THE FORBIDDEN LOVE: I don’t understand why people call them forbidden, when they’re both Northsiders who grew up next door to each other and they were never forbidden from being friends. They’re not a forbidden love. Bughead was at first because he was from the Southside and Alice didn’t want Betty to be around Jug or Serpents. But Barchie is definitely not forbidden love. If it is now, then it’s because they would both be cheating and that is disgusting.
Anyway, I haven't been able to watch the season since 4x15, because all of this fake Barchie nonsense legit makes me ACTUALLY sick to my stomach. Cheating really is not okay at all and them pretending that Archie cheated on Veronica and that Betty would get another boyfriend SO FAST after she was framed for MURDERING HER OWN really does not sit well with me or my stomach. The writers are NOT doing this right. If they wanted Barchie to be together....the best way to have done that would have been through them ACTUALLY breaking up with their s/o and then becoming close friends again AND THEN moving around to that romance. But this fake dating and fake cheating stuff is disgusting and I don't think I'm gonna continue season 4 if they become canon that way. Just no.
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fullregalia · 3 years
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20/20.
This year, in hindsight, was a real write-off. I had grand plans for it, and while I ushered it in in a very low-key manner since I was recovering from the flu, I’d expected things to look up. Well, you know what they say about plans (RIP, my trip to Europe). I got very, very sick in early February, and I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t COVID. Since March, the days have been a carousel of monotony: coffee, run, work, cook, yoga, existential spiral, sleep. My Own Private Year of Rest and Relaxation, if you will. Of course, life has a way of breaking through regardless; I attended protests, completed my thesis, graduated from grad school, took a couple of road trips upstate, and celebrated the accomplishments and birthdays of friends and family from a safe social distance. It was all a bit of a blur, and not ideal circumstances to re-enter the real world, or whatever this COVID-present is. 
Throughout it all, in lieu of happy hours, coffee dates, and panel discussions, I’ve turned even more to culture and cuisine to fill the the negative space on my calendar where my social life once resided. However, since a global pandemic ought not to disrupt every tradition, here’s my year-end round up of what made this terrible one slightly more tolerable. 
TV
After an ascetic fall semester abstaining from TV in 2019 (save for my beloved Succession), I allowed myself to watch more as the year wore on, and especially after graduation. I caught up on some cultural blind spots by finally getting around to The Sopranos, Ramy, Search Party, and Girlfriends. I wasn’t alone in bingeing Sopranos, it absolutely lived up to the hype and then some; this Jersey Girl can’t get enough gabagool-adjacent content, pizzeria culture is my culture!
Speaking of my culture, there was also a disproportionate amount of UK and European shows in my queue. Nothing like being in social isolation and watching the horny Irish teens in Normal People brood. I’m partial to it because I share a surname with the showrunner, so I have to embrace blind loyalty even though there was, in my opinion, a Marianne problem in the casting. Speaking of charming Irish characters with limited emotional vocabularies, I belatedly discovered This Way Up a 2019 show from Aisling Bea and Sharon Horgan. And while Connell and Marianne are actually exceptional students, I found the real normal people on GBBO to bring me a bit more joy. Baking was abundantly therapeutic for me this year, and watching charming people drink loads of tea and fret over soggy bottoms was a comfort. I also discovered the Great Pottery Throw Down, and as a lifelong ceramics enthusiast, I cannot recommend it highly enough if you care about things like slips, coils, and glazing techniques. GPTD embraces wabi sabi in a way that GBBO eschews flaws in favor of perfection, and in a time of uncertainty, the former reminded me why I miss getting my hands in the mud as a coping mechanism (hence all the baking). Speaking of coping mechanisms, like everybody else with two eyes and an HBO password, I loved Michaela Cole’s I May Destroy You; though we’ve all had enough distress this year for a lifetime, watching Cole’s Arabella process her assault and search for meaning, justice, and closure was a compelling portrait of grief and purpose in the aftermath of trauma. Arabella’s creative and patient friends Kwame and Terry steal the show throughout, as they deal with their own setbacks and emotional turmoil. Where I May Destroy You provides catharsis, Ted Lasso presents British eccentricity in all its stereotypical glory. At first I was skeptical of the show’s hype on Twitter, but once I gave in it charmed me, if only for Roy Kent’s emotional trajectory and extolling the restorative powers of shortbread. For a more accurate depiction of life in London, Steve McQueen’s series Small Axe provides a visually lush and politically clear-eyed depiction of the lives of British West Indians in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Lastly, how could I get through a recap of my year in tv if I don’t mention The Crown. Normal People may have needed an intimacy coordinator, but the number of Barbours at Balmoral was the real phonographic content for me.
Turning my attention across the Channel, after the trainwreck that was Emily in Paris, I started watching a proper French show, Call My Agent! It’s truly delightful, and unlike the binge-worthy format of "ambient shows” I have been really relishing taking an hour each week to watch CMA, subtitles, cigarettes, and all.
Honorable mention: The Last Dance for its in-depth look at many notable former Chicago residents; High Fidelity for reminding me of the years in college when my brother and I would drive around listening to Beta Band; and Big Mouth.
Music
My Spotify wrapped this year was a bit odd. I don‘t think “Chromatica II into 911″ is technically a song, so it revealed other things about my listening habits this year, which turned out to remain very much stuck in the last, sonically. I listened to a lot more podcasts than new music this year, but there were some records that found their way into heavy rotation. While I listened to a lot of classics both old and new to write my thesis (Paul Simon, Leonard Cohen, Prokofiev, and Bach) the soundtrack to my coursework, runs, walks, and editing was more contemporary. Standouts include: 
Saint Cloud by Waxahatchee, which makes me feel like I’m breathing fresh air even when I’m stuck inside all day 
La Bella Vita by Niia, which was there for me when I walked past my ex on 7th avenue (twice!) and he pretended that I didn’t exist 
Fetch the Bolt Cutters by THEE Fiona Apple, because Fiona, our social distancing queen, has always been my Talmud, her songs shimmering, evolving, and living with me every year 
Shore by Fleet Foxes, for the long drive to the Catskills 
Women in Music, Pt. III by HAIM, because these days, these days...
Musicians have been reckoning with tumult this year as much as the rest of us, and the industry has dealt with loss on all fronts. I’d be remiss not to talk about how the passing of John Prine brought his music into my life, and McCoy Tyner, who has been a companion through good and bad over the years. 
Honorable mention to: græ by Moses Sumney; The Main Thing by Real Estate; on the tender spot of every calloused moment by Ambrose Akinmusire; Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers; folklore by you know who; and songs by Adrianne Lenker. 
Reading
What would this overlong blob be without a list of the best things I read this year? While I left publishing temporarily, books, the news, and newsletters still took up a majority of my attention (duh and/or doomscrolling by any other name). I can’t be comprehensive, and frankly, there are already great roundups of the best longform this year out there, so this is mostly books and praising random writers. 
Last year I wrote about peak newsletter. Apparently, my prediction was a bit premature as this year saw an even bigger Substack Boom. But two new newsletters in particular have delighted me: Aminatou Sow’s Crème de la Crème and Hunter Harris’ Hung Up (her ”this one line” series is true force of chaotic good on Blue Ivy’s internet). Relatedly, Sow and Ann Friedman’s Big Friendship was gifted to me by a dear friend and another bff and I are going to read it in tandem next week. 
On the “Barack Obama published a 700+ page memoir, crippling the printing industry’s supply chains” front, grad school severely hamstrung my ability to read for pleasure, but I managed to get through almost 30 books this year, some old (Master and Margarita), most new-ish (Say Nothing, Nickel Boys). Four 2020 books in particular enthralled me:
Uncanny Valley: Anna Wiener’s memoir has been buzzed about since n+1 published her essay of the same name in 2016. Her ability to see, clear-eyed, the industry for both its foibles and allure captured that era when the excess and solipsism of the Valley seemed more of a cultural quirk than the harbinger of societal schism.  
Transcendent Kingdom: Yaa Gyasi’s novel about faith, family, loss, and--naturally--grad school was deeply empathetic, relatable, and moving. I think this was my favorite book of the year. Following the life of a Ghanaian family that settles in Alabama, it captured the kind of emotional ennui that comes from having one foot in the belief of childhood and one foot in the bewilderment that comes from losing faith in the aftermath of tragedy.  
Vanishing Half: Similarly to Transcendent Kingdom, Brit Bennett’s novel about siblings who are separated; it’s also about the ways that colorism can be internalized and the ways chosen family can (and cannot) replace your real kin. It was a compassionate story that captured the pain of abuse and abandonment in two pages in a way that Hanya Yanagihara couldn’t do in 720.
Dessert Person: Ok, so this is a cookbook, but it’s a good read, and the recipes are approachable and delicious. After all the BA Test Kitchen chaos this summer, it’s nice we didn’t have to cancel Claire. Make the thrice baked rye cookies!!!! You will thank me later.
Honorable mention goes to: Leave The World Behind for hitting the Severance/Station Eleven dystopian apocalypse novel sweet spot; Exciting Times for reminding me why I liked Sally Rooney; and Summer by Ali Smith, which wasn’t the strongest of the seasonal quartet, but was a series I enjoyed for two years.  
Podcasts
I’m saving my most enthusiastic section for last: ever since 2018, I’ve been listening to an embarrassing amount of podcasts. Moving into a studio apartment will do that to you, as will grad school, add a pandemic to that equation and there’s a lot of time to fill with what has sort of become white noise to me (or, in one case, nice white parents noise). In addition to the shows that I’ve written about before (Still Processing, Popcast, Who? Weekly, and Why is This Happening?), these are the shows I started listening to this year that fueled my parasocial fire:
You’re Wrong About: If you like history, hate patriarchy, and are a millennial, you’ll love Sarah Marshall and Michael Hobbes’ deep dives into the most notable stories of the past few decades (think Enron and Princess Diana) and also some other cultural flashpoints that briefly but memorably shaped the national discourse (think Terri Schiavo, Elian González, and the Duke Lacrosse rape case).
Home Cooking: This mini series started (and ended) during the pandemic. As someone who stress baked her way through the past nine months, Samin Nosrat and Hrishikesh Hirway’s show is filled with warmth, banter, and useful advice. Home Cooking has been a reassuring companion in the kitchen, and even though it will be a time capsule once we’re all vaccinated and close talking again, it’s still worth a listen for tips and inspiration while we’re hunkered down for the time being. 
How Long Gone: I don’t really know how to explain this other than saying that media twitter broke my brain and enjoying Chris Black and Jason Stewart’s ridiculous banter is the price I pay for it.
Blank Check: Blank Check is like the GBBO of podcasts--Griffin Newman and David Sims’ enthusiasm for and encyclopedic knowledge of film, combined with their hilarious guests and inevitable cultural tangents is always a welcome distraction. Exploring a different film from a director’s oeuvre each week over the course of months, the podcast delves into careers and creative decisions with the passion of completists who want to honor the filmmaking process even when the finished products end up falling short. The Nancy Meyers and Norah Ephron series were favorites because I’d seen most of the movies, but I also have been enjoying the Robert Zemeckis episodes they’re doing right now. The possibility of Soderbergh comes up often (The Big Picture just did a nice episode about/with him), and I’d love to hear them talk about his movies or Spike Lee (or, obviously, Martin Scorsese).      
Odds & Ends
If you’re still reading this, you’re a real one, so let’s get into the fun stuff. This was a horrible way to start a new decade, but at least we ended our long national nightmare. We got an excellent dumb twitter meme. I obviously made banana bread, got into home made nut butters, and baked an obscene amount of granola as I try to manifest a future where I own a Subaru Outback. Amanda Mull answered every question I had about Why [Insert Quarantine Trend] Happens. My brother started an organization that is working to eliminate food insecurity in LA. Discovering the Down Dog app allowed me to stay moderately sane, despite busting both of my knees in separate stupid falls on the criminally messed up sidewalks and streets of Philadelphia. I can’t stop burning these candles. Jim Carrey confused us all. We have a Jewish Second Gentleman! Grub Street Diets continued to spark joy. Dolly Parton remains America’s Sweetheart (and possible vaccine savior). And, last, but certainly not least: no one still knows how to pronounce X Æ A-12 Boucher-Musk.
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