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indigovigilance · 6 months

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Continuity Errors

Crowley can stop time. We’ve noticed buggy things about time. Let’s talk about it.

I’m going to start with an overview of every time he has definitely frozen time in order to establish the mechanics of Crowley’s time-stopping power in the GO universe. Then, I’m going to talk about other events where Crowley may have stopped time, and it wasn’t (directly) shown to the audience.

or read this 3,500 word beast of a meta on Ao3

edit: if you're deciding whether or not to read this, check out the reblog notes!

Opening obligatory "do not put anything about this in Neil Gaiman's askbox"

Crowley freezes time locally, selectively exempting individuals

S1E2

In S1E2, Crowley freezes time at the corporate training ground to interrogate Mary Hodges, formerly Sister Mary Loquacious (played by Nina Sosanya, actor for Nina in S2). It may seem like she’s just hypnotized and time is progressing normally around all of them, but that isn’t the case. Immediately before Crowley hypnotizes Hodges, we can hear gunfire in the background; a few seconds before Hodges is released from the trance, we hear shouting and sirens. But during the time that Hodges is entranced, all we hear is three things: the dialogue, music, and what sounds like the ticking of a kitchen timer.

We could do a little bit of extrapolation from the fact that the beginnings of gunshots and siren sounds are temporally very close together, especially depending on how we measure time. Crowley turns the paintball guns into deadly weapons at 36:59. Crowley freezes Mary Hodges at 38:47. A ticking sound starts the same moment. We also hear what we will come to recognize as the “pause time” sound, a sort of wobbly sound. The ticking sound seems to stop around… 40:07? Right before the line about lovely little toesy woesies? It’s unclear with the overlapping tracks. At 40:11 Crowley says “let’s go” and we can hear sirens in the background start now. Aziraphale then snaps his fingers and unfreezes Hodges at 40:17.

So during 191 seconds of screentime, 84 seconds of it was spent with time frozen, if I accept the ticking sound to be the indicator. If time was only frozen locally, meaning just the paintball grounds and not the nearest police station and roads leading to it, then emergency services had just over three minutes from the time the first live round was fired to arrival. If time was actually frozen globally except for Crowley, Azirarphale, and Hodges, then emergency services got there in 85 seconds, or less than a minute and a half. Maybe Britain is doing something wildly different than here idk but I think the more likely explanation for the event timing is that Crowley is only freezing time in a local bubble. The shooters stop shooting but the police are still driving towards them while Crowley and Aziraphale are interrogating an entranced Mary Hodges.

The case with Hodges is kind of confusing because the audience is presented with a false dichotomy between “frozen in time” and “hypnotized.” It’s actually both. Crowley has frozen time around the three of them, but Hodges, like Aziraphale, was exempt. It just so happens that she was also entranced at the same time, which explains as well why Aziraphale can release her from the trance, since our best evidence indicates that he can’t control time.

S1E3 & S2E3

In S1E3, Crowley freezes Jean Claude, the executioner at the Bastille. Immediately before, we can hear the guillotine, screaming and jeering outside the cell. As soon as Jean Claude is frozen, however (13:29, complete with wobble sound), there is complete background silence, except for the dialogue between our ineffable aristocrats. When Crowley restarts time, background noise restarts as well. This evidence indicates that Crowley froze time for the surrounding area as well as inside the cell.

In S2E3, Crowley freezes Mr. Dalrymple. We don’t have definitive information about how much of the rest of the world is affected since the scene takes place indoors on a quiet night and there are no external cues of time starting or stopping.

S1E6: Freezing Out Satan

In S1E6, not only are Crowley, Aziraphale, and Adam pulled out of the normal flow of time: it seems that they are also pulled out of normal space. They appear to be in an ethereal desert where we can see their wings, but we don’t actually know where they are. The way we enter, inhabit, and then exit this time-stop is completely different from any of the other three explicit timestop scenes: Crowley must use his whole body to summon the power to cast the miracle, they travel elsewhere, then he must use his crankshaft to exit the time-stop.

I take this to indicate that freezing time when Satan is near takes a lot more power than freezing time around Mary Hodges, Jean Claude, or Mr. Dalrymple. Presumably, the power a being has, the more power it takes to lock them out of a bubble to stopped time.

Time Stop Mechanics

Here are my key takeaways from analyzing these four scenes:

Crowley isn’t so much freezing all of time as pulling himself and Aziraphale (and sometimes Adam) out of the flow of time. The effort this takes is dependent on the entities that they are “pulling away” from. It is easy to pull away from humans, so much so that they don’t have to pull away very far and can occupy the same space in a bubble of paused time. When he is “pulling away” from Satan, however, he must pull away much further, all the way to another plane.

Crowley’s ability is so powerful that he can use it to escape Satan. He could use it to lock out other powerful beings, if he wanted to, but it would take a lot of effort.

Aziraphale, a being with power somewhere on the spectrum between human and Satan, could be frozen by Crowley’s powers. The fact that Aziraphale is still present and active during all of these scenes, unaffected by the time stop is only indicative of Crowley’s choice to exempt him, just as he does with a hypnotized Mary Hodges and Adam.

Crowley has stopped time on Aziraphale

In a previous post I have addressed the possible symbolic meaning behind the Honolulu Roast sign that suddenly appears behind Crowley in the S2E1 coffee shop scene. This addresses the symbolic meaning of Honolulu with respect to Aziraphale, but fails to address the “roast” part, which I have the opportunity to do now. I begin by establishing two premises:

Crowley loves Aziraphale and after 6,000 years knows him very well.

Crowley is a dick.

Crowley sits down at the table across from Aziraphale and asks him what the problem is. At this point, there is no “Honolulu Roast” sign behind him. The camera flips to Aziraphale as he (badly) tries to deny that there is any problem. When the camera flips back to Crowley, a “today’s special: Honolulu Roast” sign has appeared behind him.

What does Crowley do next?

Crowley roasts Aziraphale.

Crowley proceeds to read Aziraphale to filth, rattling off all his tells and putting him in his place for even daring to think that he could mislead Crowley about his internal emotional state.

While we’ve seen a lot more of his soft side this season, we cannot forget that the demon Crowley, at the end of the day, is a prick. He really did pause time just so that he could go get a chalkboard, write a pun on it, and hang it on the wall behind him like a display card for open mic night. He’s still going to help Aziraphale, of course. But he’s going to make fun of him first.

Let me reiterate: Crowley literally paused time, got up from the table, put up this sign, then sat back down in (as close to) exactly the same position (as possible) to fool Aziraphale into not noticing the pause, because this joke is entirely for Crowley’s own amusement. We have some cinematographic evidence of this besides just the sign itself: the lamp behind him has moved slightly, and the camera angle focusing on Crowley has changed. Literally, the left hand side of the frame gets cut off due to the repositioning. From a production perspective, this scene would have been shot all at the same time, so should not have changed angles. That said, they did a by-hand follow-in of Crowley walking in and sitting down, then switched to a dolly, but… I have faith that they could have matched the shot line-up practically pixel for pixel if they wanted to. All to say: changing the camera position before and after, alongside the other conspicuous changes, seems like it was a deliberate framing choice used to indicate that Crowley tried his best to get back into exactly the same position, but was just a little off.

But Crowley’s prank is troubling from a perspective of honesty and agency. Based on the way the dialogue progresses, it seems pretty clear that Aziraphale doesn’t know that he was frozen. Whether or not Crowley could freeze Aziraphale was beside the point until this scene where we learn that Crowley would, even for a really dumb reason like making a joke at Aziraphale’s expense.

Before moving on, I want to note that the sudden appearance of this sign could be characterized as a continuity error, even though it was the result of a deliberate action by an in-world character. Jettison your traditional understanding of “continuity error” as “production made a mistake.” In this universe, we can have continuity errors by virtue that Aziraphale is experiencing time as if it is continuous, not noticing that he functionally blacked out for a few minutes and that things have changed around him. This is not a show-level continuity error. This is an Aziraphale-level continuity error.

Crowley can reverse time

Credit where credit is due: it was this comment on the Ao3 version of my meta, The Erasure of Human!Metatron, that became an earworm that got me thinking specifically about Crowley's abilities:

So thank you, LoveIsLove <3

Let’s go back to the Mary Hodges scene, or actually a few minutes before. Our ineffable idiots get shot by paintballs.

“Look at the state of this coat. I've kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years now. I'll never get this stain out.”

“You could miracle it away.”

“Hmm… Yes, but… well, I would always know the stain was there. Underneath, I mean.”

Aziraphale finagles himself a favor without ever actually asking for it. Full points, princess. But let’s examine the actual content of the dialogue. This cannot be a complete 100% bluff; Aziraphale is not going to tell a straight lie to Crowley that they both know is false about the respective nature of their powers. It must be the case that there is some truth to this statement. There is a fundamental difference between what Aziraphale can do about the paintball stain and what Crowley is actually going to do about it. Furthermore, what Crowley does is something different than a miracle.

Crowley then blows on the stain, it disappears, and Aziraphale looks quite pleased. Yes, yes, he cajoled Anthony J Acts of Service Crowley into doing his signature move, but also, he’s genuinely thankful that Crowley did something for him that he couldn’t do for himself, because miracles don’t work like that. Notably, Crowley doesn't snap his fingers or make any other gesture that we normally associate with miracles, and we don’t hear the miracle sound, which is further evidence that this is not a miracle, but something different.

If you haven’t already, please read my meta entitled Jimbriel, Satan, the Book of Life, and what it means for Crowley. It explains in depth and with evidentiary support my theory about how erasure works in the Good Omens universe. The Cliff’s notes version is that erasing something, whether it be a name from the Book of Life or a paintball from a coat, is akin to erasing a pencil mark on paper; it’s technically gone but you’ll always know it was there. Underneath.

What Crowley has done, then, is not erasing the paintball stain.

He’s reversed it.

When he blows on the paintball stain, he is reversing time in a microcosm of the universe, truly making it so that the paintball never hit the jacket. In a world full of rubber erasers, Crowley has the only Control-Z. When things are “erased” by the Book of Life, they are changed, but when Crowley reverses something, they never happened (making Beelzebub’s description of the Book of Life actually a more accurate description of Crowley’s power). It is something unique that Crowley can do that Aziraphale can’t, and we haven’t seen any evidence of any other celestial being pausing or reversing time. Please feel free to reblog with links to relevant meta if I’m wrong about that.

In true Neil Gaiman style, Crowley using this power to do something mundane like get rid of paintball paint was an incredibly benign and subtle way to indicate that Crowley has an immense, untapped power that we have not yet seen him use for any major purpose.

I repeat: we didn’t see him use it. Because usually, like Aziraphale, we the audience are exempt from the time freeze, and we get to watch what happens. But this time, we were frozen out with Aziraphale.

Clock Theory revisited: a reinterpretation of “continuity error”

A summary of clock theory

Neil Gaiman’s ask and answer on clock theory

Neil Gaiman responded to an ask about the clock jumping forward from 9:25 to 9:40 before and after the kiss with a single sentence: “It’s a continuity error, I’m afraid.”

In the usual manner, Neil is not lying, but he is relying on you making an incorrect interpretation of his seemingly straightforward and innocuous but actually ambiguous and incredibly meaningful statement. As I stated with regards to the Honolulu Roast chalkboard sign, do not interpret “continuity error” as “production made a mistake.” Interpret “continuity error” as “Aziraphale believes that his experience of time is in lockstep with the actual flow of time and doesn’t realize that 11 minutes passed while he was frozen.”

Let’s consider the evidence:

Image at timestamp 41:04 “[Hold that thought!]” the clock reads 9:25

Image at 45:04 “If Gabriel and Beelzebub can go off together, then we can” the clock still reads 9:25

Image at 47:56 the clock now reads 9:40.

Image at 48:14 the clock reads 9:40

There are two four-minute gaps, from the perspective of the viewer, and we have views of the clock face at both ends of each gap.

Gap 1, from 41:04 to 45:04, the clock hands do not move at all, nor do they in any of the intervening shots.

Gap 2, from 45:04 to 47:56 (or 48:14, as you prefer), the clock hands move 15 minutes.

The Occam’s razor, Doylian explanation for why the clock hands don't move from 41:04 to 45:04 is that the clock is a prop. It does not have any timekeeping mechanism, the hands don’t move unless some human being opens up the glass, reaches in there, and manually adjusts it. They weren’t going to interrupt filming this moving scene to move the clock hands minute by minute, so it seems pretty plausible that the fact that it doesn’t move is just an artifact of production limitations.

The Watsonian explanation, which I do not favor, is that Crowley has frozen time for just the two of them. They are in a microcosm all their own. If true, this would have an abundance of implications, such that they are actually free to speak to each other freely, which they don’t. So I feel like with that alone, we can set this aside, but I’m open to being convinced otherwise.

If we accept the “clock is a prop” explanation for Gap 1, it doesn’t really hold for Gap 2 that they moved it a full fifteen minutes. So much care and attention to detail was given for all other parts of this show; I don’t realistically believe that a production staff member moved the hands a random amount. The music carries us from Crowley’s exit to Metatron’s entrance seamlessly, yet more time seems to have passed in-world than on-screen. There are two possible explanations:

There was more material that was supposed to be filmed to account for 15 minutes that got cut

We are supposed to figure out that there’s some “Greek play” style shenaniganery afoot

I will debunk explanation #1 with simply this: David’s contact lenses would sometimes rotate so that the slit pupils were not vertical. This error was fixed by VFX in post.

You might assume, when watching Good Omens, that Crowley’s serpent-like eyes are created using contact lenses. Or perhaps you’d presume they’re CGI. Actually, they’re a mix of both.

“The CGI versions were usually because the contact lenses had swiveled in David’s eyes … and we had to fix it,” says Mackinnon.

If they could fix Crowley’s eyes in post, there is absolutely no reason to expect that they couldn’t or wouldn’t have fixed the clock hand positions in post, especially if it was someone’s job to reach in there and change the positions to try to maintain set continuity in the first place. Additionally, there is deliberate use of clocks to symbolize various themes across both seasons. A Doylian error like this is not something that would have been overlooked and survived into publication.

So we are left with explanation #2. Time has passed that we, the viewers, don’t observe. What was happening during that time that we missed? More importantly, who knows that this time has passed? Aziraphale doesn’t seem to, and it’s unclear what the Metatron does or doesn’t know.

Some fans have posited that the Metatron is doing the time manipulations, but canonically, the only entity we have observed manipulate time is Crowley. We assume the Metatron is powerful because the angels are all afraid of him, but we’ve never actually seen him do anything, and so have no primary evidence for this. All over, he’s got some big “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” Wizard of Oz vibes happening; I’m not convinced he could miracle his way out of a wet paper bag, and there’s a chance that in Season 3 we’ll find out that he’s all bluff. Not so with Crowley.

My hypothesis is that Crowley froze Aziraphale and everybody else for a one block radius, including the Metatron, and did something important in the bookshop before it lost its protection. Please see my meta on Sovereignty, Citizenship, and the Bookshop for an evidence-based argument on why the bookshop was the only place in the universe that Crowley could have safely hidden something. Since Aziraphale is no longer the head of an independent embassy, whatever Crowley was keeping safe in there isn’t safe anymore, and needs to be moved. Universe time continued to pass and the clock reflects that, but Aziraphale and the Metatron aren’t aware that they were paused.

Which also gives us a new interpretation for the kiss.

The Kiss, revisited

Crowley didn’t want to send Aziraphale a message.

Crowley needed a plausible cover for the immense effort it was going to take him to freeze time against Aziraphale and the Metatron that he knew was standing outside.

How do I know he knew?

No nightingales.

Juliet. Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day:

It was the nightingale, and not the lark,

That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear;

Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree:

Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.

Romeo. It was the lark, the herald of the morn,

No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks

Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east:

Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day

Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops.

I must be gone and live, or stay and die.

No nightingales could be the end of a romance. I argued as much in my inaugural meta just six weeks ago (and what a six weeks it has been, people!) But “no nightingales” could also be a secret signal to two people who have a unique bond through Shakespeare that Crowley has realized he is not safe, and he needs to leave, and he’s trying to tell Aziraphale that without letting their spectator in on the message.

Now he has to stop time to secure whatever item he’d been keeping safe in the bookshop. But keeping Satan at bay required him to lunge upwards, using his whole body to freeze time. He can’t get away with anything like that here in the bookshop, that would give up the ruse.

But what if he lunged at the person everyone knows he’s in love with and violently kisses them on the mouth, his entire body tense with the effort of freezing time in the presence of two ethereal beings? No one would notice the difference, or think anything nefarious of it; a Class A surreptitious time-stop.

One last crackpot theory.

Aziraphale knows what Crowley did. Well, he knows that he froze time, and for the first time realizes that Crowley has locked him out, and that he used the kiss as a cover. The violation of agency, trust, and their romantic bond are all breaking across him in the instant that time restarts, after Crowley has gone away for 11 minutes and returned to almost, but not quite, the same position inside Aziraphale’s arms. It is an intimate act that Aziraphale is fully tuned into, and for the first time, he’s noticing the continuity errors.

His horror-filled expression is one of broken trust. But his bond to Crowley is too strong for even this to break it. He knows that whatever reason Crowley had to pull this trick on him, it must have been a good one. It must have been to protect him.

“I forgive you.”

***

One more completely crackpot theory based on the Gavin Finney interview at The Ineffable Con last weekend.

The camera was supposed to circle them. Finney says that this was to show that they are the center of their universe, and their world is spinning.

Okay, okay. But could it not also have represented the spinning of clock hands? I’m just saying.

Closing obligatory "do not put anything about this in Neil Gaiman's askbox"

Find my entire collection of metas here

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virusinfected-memes · 1 year

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HEY ARNOLD, SEASON 1 SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 2 OF 6 ;

E03 - ❛ Arnold’s Hat / The Stoop Kid ❜ and E04 - ❛ Helga’s Makeover / The Old Building ❜ // 72 starters. CW: violence. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed! [PART 1]

“Why, you got the manners of an old billy goat.”

“Once a cowboy, always a cowboy.”

“It’s so beautiful. A monument to my beloved.”

“Why don’t you give up?”

“I’ll never get it. Never, never, never!”

“I knew I’d get it. I knew it all the time.”

“What’s that you say? I dance divinely? My eyes are lovely?”

“I knew you couldn’t fight your true feelings for me.”

“The door’s locked, _____. What are you doing in there?”

“The Jolly Olly man’s gone insane! He’s passing out free ice cream!”

“Oh, my beloved! What havoc have I wrought?”

“I must right this terrible and grievous wrong and restore to you that which makes you the _____ I worship and adore.”

“You are who you are because of what’s on the inside, not the outside.”

“You’re looking good. Have you been working out?”

“Anybody ever tell you you look like some sort of sun-bronzed Greek god these days?”

“Yuck! Who said you could touch me?!”

“I’ll never wash these clothes again.”

“Try not to hurt your little dainty toesy-woesies.”

“This is gonna be harder than I thought.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come inside?”

“Are you crazy? He’ll just chase you down and pulverize you.”

“I’m gonna pound you, you little maggot!”

“Just shut up and leave me alone!”

“It’d just be a waste of time!”

“What’s so great about the world anyway?”

“The legend dies, _____.”

“I didn’t know there was gonna be so many people here.”

“Don’t worry about them, _____. Just keep concentrating.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, _____.”

“I’m gonna roll you downtown!”

“I wonder why _____’s not invited to _____’s party.”

“So, _____, what do you wanna do on Saturday night?”

“I was thinking of going to _____’s party. They’re gonna do makeovers and stuff.”

“_____’s party? You’re not seriously going to that, are you?”

“Yeah, I know, but I was thinking… It might be interesting.”

“Please, don’t hurt me.”

“I was invited, I just didn’t wanna go.”

“Y’know, _____, I almost feel sorry for her.”

“I don’t sound like that!”

“I oughta deck ‘em all!”

“How did that get in there? Oh well, might as well take it.”

“Am I a fire engine red or a pearly pink?”

“What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”

“Oh, this old thing? Just something I had lying around the house.”

“Yeah, well, I liked the old _____ better. At least she was honest. She’d never pretend to like all this stuff just to fit in with the crowd.”

“What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong! This is stupid, that’s what’s wrong!”

“When they see all of us in the window, they’re gonna scream bloody murder.”

“Y’know, _____, maybe we were wrong about you. Maybe you’re not like the rest of us.”

“I mean, what could be more fun than this?”

“What do you think? Burnt copper or coral pink?”

“Help! Let me go! Let me gooo!”

“Now this is what I call a good party.”

“You’re a natural! I oughta take you on as an apprentice.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“_____ and I had our first date there.”

“Darling, you left my heart in pieces on the floor.”

“So tell me, why shouldn’t I break some things of yours?”

“That _____. He’s the dreamiest.”

“Boom! Perfect! Did you see that? Did you see what I did there?”

“You won’t let me down, will you? I’ve been let down a lot in my life.”

“I don’t know if I can take one more disappointment, _____.”

“You can count on me, _____.”

“It’s you and me, _____, standing together, side by side, against them all.”

“Now you got a problem.”

“I’ll just tell them both that I want out. They’re adults. They’ll understand.”

“Yeah? You want a piece of this?”

“Now look what you’ve done!”

“_____, have you lost your mind? Why don’t you listen to reason for once in your life and come home?”

“I parked my carcass right here and I’m not moving.”

“_____, get me out of here.”

“Thank you, _____. You stopped me from making a terrible mistake.”

“What’s wrong with you? Are your ears painted on?”

#ask meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp meme #rp sentence starters #sentence starters #hey arnold #* mine

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 3 years

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#good omens #goodomensedit #david tennant #michael sheen #nina sosanya #crowley #aziraphale #mary hodges #ep2 #2i16 #he had lovely little toesie-woesies #aziraphale's face ❤

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nat-20s · 3 years

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for @jonmartinweek day 8! (which I definitely realized was happening and for sure did not forget lmao). The prompt was free day/au, so I picked my own theme of “pets”. The last few fics have been pretty loaded, so please enjoy some pure post canon (literal and figurative) fluff

~*~

“I can’t believe I married a dog person.”

They weren’t even supposed to be in the shelter. They had made no plans to visit a shelter. However, as Jon has been learning over the course of the past couple years, a Martin not under duress and given free time outside will inevitably end up trying to befriend any living nonhuman creature in the immediate vicinity.

“I’m not a dog person.”

“The lapful of beagle puppy would indicate otherwise.”

“Just because I appreciate the company of a very good boy, yes you are, doesn’t mean I’m a dog person. Dog person implies I have a preference. I like cats equally as much as I like dogs. Unlike some of us, my heart is open to all manner of furry friends.”

“I don’t...hate dogs.”

“Uh-huh. Is that why you won’t pet Rufio here?”

“He’s nippy, I don’t trust him. And it’s just that dogs are A Lot. I find most of them a bit overwhelming. And needy.”

“Pff, that’s no excuse. You’ve been best friends with overwhelming, and you married needy.”

Martin lets out a distracted giggle as Rufio finally gets in a lick on his face. Okay, maybe it is a pretty adorable sight, but that’s hardly sufficient enough evidence to actually let such an energetic ball of fluff into their home. Still, it’s enough to convince Jon to sit down next to them, and give Rufio a very tentative scritch behind the ears. “I think we both qualify as the needy one in our relationship.”

“Pretty sure that’s called codependency. What would our therapist say?”

“She’d probably say that’s a bit harsh. And that we still need to work on our separation anxiety.”

“Hey, you know what helps with separation anxiety?”

“No.”

“A dog!”

“No!”

They get a dog. Their flat is decently sized and they both have steady incomes and enough free time between them to take proper care of her. They don’t get Rufio, but instead a 7 year old mutt named Daffodil who is, admittedly, the most gentle and sweet creature Jon’s ever met. They also get a cat, a rambunctious 2 year old tabby named Jack (“We can change the name.” “Jon! How dare you! Jack responds to his name, clearly he likes it!”) who had already decided Daffodil was his mom, and they couldn’t possibly bear not adopting them together.

~*~

“You know, we could get a tarantula.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m serious! They’re not, like, evil in this universe, and some of them have cutest little pink toesie woesies.”

“You’re not serious, you’re being a bastard, and I hate you.”

Martin wraps his arms around Jon’s waist and presses a kiss to the side of his face, which Jon gives a half-hearted swat at, because, again, the man’s being a bastard. Stubbornly ignoring Jon’s pout, Martin presses his cheek to the top of Jon’s head, cheerfully replying, “I’m fine with that, as long as you promise to hate me for the rest of our lives.”

“Well, I certainly can’t make that promise. I won’t even hate you ten seconds from now. I suppose you’ll have to settle for love instead.”

“Hmm. Deal.”

“We’re still not getting a fucking tarantula.”

They do not get a tarantula. Their home remains admirably spider free.

~*~

Martin’s gasp is loud enough to echo, and Jon can feel him begin to vibrate next to him. The excitement is perplexing at first, they’ve been to this bookstore dozens of times, and it’s never elicited this sort of response. Then Jon looks over to the front counter, where a medium-sized cage and a “For adoption” sign have been put on display. With a wild, jubilant glee, Martin asks, “Sonja! Are those baby. Dumbo. Rats?!”

“Sure are! I’ve got a friend who’s a breeder, I take it you’re interested?”

“Yes, absolutely, 100%, we’re getting two immediately.”

“Well…”

Martin snaps his head over to look at Jon with a look of betrayal the likes of which Jon hasn’t seen since the panopticon. “Jonathan, no!”

“Um.”

“You can not tell me you you don’t like rats! Dumbo rats especially!”

“I…”

Ticking off on his fingers, Martin lists, “They’re adorable, they’re smart, they’re cleanly, they’re extremely empathetic, they’re tickilish, which is stupidly cute, they can be trained to use a litter box and do tricks, they’re snuggly and playful and perfect! They’re all the good parts of dogs combined with the best parts of cats in one tiny portable package! Look at their little ears, that are like that because of a slight difference in skull shape that has no negative health effects! Plus, we can set them up in the project room, since Captain Jack isn’t allowed in there anyway. How can you dislike rats?”

“I don’t know! They just sort of..freak me out. Or not all of them, just their feet. I don’t like their little man hands.”

Martin throws his arms in the air, proclaiming, “Their little man hands are one of their best qualities! Look, Jon, are you genuinely afraid of them, or just slightly discomfited?”

“I would say mediumly discomfited. This isn’t like spiders.”

“Cool. ‘Cause in that case, we’re getting the light tan one and the solid white one, their names shall be Peaches and Cream, and you will love them as much as you love our dog and cat children.”

“That’s a rather bold claim.”

“It’s an accurate one. You’ll see.”

Within a week, Jon is transporting Peaches ‘n’ Cream in the pocket of his hoodie, and he can feel Martin’s smug aura from two rooms away. Damn him.

~*~

“Did you know snakes don’t have an amygdala?”

“Okay? You didn’t have to bring me to a reptile store to tell me that.”

“I didn’t bring you to a reptile store to tell you that. I brought you to a reptile store because I want to hold a cornsnake.”

Jon rolls his eyes, but the fondness in his voice somewhat undercuts it. “Of course you do.”

Martin makes a scaly acquaintance in less than two minutes, and as the snake coils around his fingers, he continues, “Anyway, if they don’t have amygladas, do they feel fear in a way similar to us, or is it only a recognition of threats and instinctual response?”

“Martin, my love, I have no idea. Is this going somewhere? It’s fine if not, I’m just checking in.”

“Yes. Because if they don’t feel fear, I’m getting this snake and naming her Georgie.”

That makes Jon let out a sharp bark of laugh, and, for a moment, he’s able to reminisce without any pain. “You know, I think she’d actually love that? She also had a proclivity for all creatures great and small. And a terrible sense of humor.”

“Wow, you really have a type, huh. Also hey! My sense of humor is fantastic! It always makes my husband laugh, and he has very exacting standards.”

“Liar. Your husband finds joy with you at the slightest provocation, no good sense of humor needed.”

“Hmm. He is a bit of a softie, isn’t he? Which is why he’ll let me get this snake.”

“He most certainly will not.”

“But….look at her….”

“It’s not a matter of how cute she is, dear. It’s a matter of you made us get pet rats less than a month ago, there’s absolutely no way you’re going to be able to feed mice to a snake.”

Martin looks at the cornsnake, looks at Jon, looks back, and his shoulders slump. With a wince, he asks, “Maybe frozen mice won’t be too bad?”

“What if she’s picky?”

“...There are species of snake that only eat bugs.”

“Cornsnakes aren’t one of them.”

Waving over an assistant, Martin puts the cornsnake back with a defeated, “Fine. When you’re right, you’re right.”

Jon doesn’t particularly feel like he’s won an argument. In fact, he’s a bit disappointed himself, he always liked snakes. Big fan of reptiles in general, actually, which is probably what drives him to say, “Lizards don’t usually eat mice.”

That’s how they walk out of the store with three leopard geckos.

~*~

Jon’s helping Martin set up the gecko tank in what can now be affectionately called a zoo when all of the sudden it strikes him. Some of the animals in their home right now have life spans of 10-20 years, and never once had the necessary longevity of care come up as a reason to protest against them. Jon had felt so at ease with the concept of a future that he hadn’t even thought about it, hadn’t been steeling himself for the other shoe to drop. He’s stopped having bated breath every time something good happens, instead taking reassurance in a sense of permanence that he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel again. Martin must hear his breath hitch, because he immediately stops what he’s doing to take Jon’s hand into his own. “Something wrong, love?”

Jon shakes his head. “No, nothing. I suppose I’m realizing that we have time, don’t we?”

Martin must know exactly what he means, the weight behind the words, because he brings Jon’s hand to his lips and says, “Yes. Yes, we really, really do.”

#jonmartinweek2021 #jonmartin #jon sims #martin blackwood #tma #post canon #THIS IS JUST ME PROJECTING ON MARTIN FOR 1500 WORDS LMAO #also to anyone that spots the song lyric: :3 #also also the leopard geckos names are kirk spock and bones #or as jon calls them #captain first officer and CMO

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samstrugglingwithlife · 4 years

Note

aww hi! can i get a haikyuu matchup? im a straight female, 5’6, and 15. im kinda shy, very awkward, sarcastic, clumsy, and forgetful. pretty oblivious with flirting. quiet but i can often get talkative. extremely indecisive! i procrastinate most of the time and im lazyy. i love baking for ppl and reading romcom! i cannot stand clingy ppl or ppl that need attention 24/7. im already extremely awkward when it comes to affection, so PDA is a no. being loud 24/7 is too. congrats on 200!💓

Hello! I had to think a lot and no matter how many characters I put your description side by side with, I felt that this Character fit you perfectly!

KENMA KOZUME

Look at his wittle toesie woesies, uwu baby

How You Two Met

You were the new kid in his class. You transferred from somewhere far and all the kids were interested in you. It didn’t that you were shy and awkward around people so unfortunately, you came off as unapproachable.

Your seat was right beside Kenma’s, neither of you talked to each other for a good half a year. That is until you dropped your pencil case while exiting the classroom. That was the first time he approached you. Honestly, he was kinda terrified because he had heard your classmates talk about you and how you weren’t friendly and you were mean. But the moment he interacted with you he found out that you are just as awkward as him and people took your shyness for rudeness. He realised that you two were kindred spirits. Slowly, the gap between you was bridged and you two became somewhat friendly with each other.

How You Started Dating

The more he observed you the more he realised how special you were. He noticed how clumsy you were. The sarcastic quips you made were nothing short of genius. He notices that you were clumsy, his heart always got caught in his throat every time you stumbled over your feet or dropped something.

Before he knew it, Kenma had a crush on you. It took a lot of teasing and pushing from Kuroo for Kenma to confess. He was going to do it at his own pace though.

The way he asked you out was not very special but that was how you preferred it.

The two of you were hanging out in the park, he was playing on his console and you were reading one of your books, that’s when he confessed to you with a simple “I like you.”

You also replied just as nonchalantly but only you two know how fast your hearts were beating.

Dates

I refuse to believe that you two would hang out anywhere but the comfort of your own homes. But for your first date you two decided to walk around town and stop by at small shops and bakeries.

On your dates you guys prefer to stay indoors. Kenma as usual plays his video games and you bake little treats for you guys. He knows that you’re indecisive and he finds it very cute when you’re flipping through the recipe book trying to decide what to you want to bake. This guy offered that you do a coin toss.

How You Treat Each Other

Kenma understands that you are iffy with physical affection and pda, he himself is a bit uncomfortable with such displays in public. He never pushes you to be more physically affectionate. He knows that you only open up to people you like, and the way you passionate talk about your favourite book and bake for him and watch him play his games lets him know that you genuine do like him. You don’t get impatient when he gets a bit more quieter because you know he prefers listening to you rather than speaking. Ya’ll love each other and it’s all very innocent and sweet and pure and my heart will explode because you’re both so cute and I wanna adopt ya’ll but it’s okay, I’ll just sob in this corner at how freaking cute you babies are.

This is my first matchup and yeah! Maybe I should’ve read other blogs’ matchups as reference before doing this but I wanted to do it on my own in my own way.

I hope you like this sweetheart! Lemme know if this isn’t any good and I can retry!

#haikyuu #🥭’s matchups

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icekirbys · 5 years

Note

Mary Hodges when she's a business woman but natural hair ...

oh yyeah

[image description: two drawings of mary hodges (previously sister mary loquacious of the chattering order of st. beryl satanic nuns). in the first she is in her nurse garb, looking down at the basket holding the antichrist (the adversary, destroyer of kings, prince of this world, and lord of darkness) and saying “oh - look at his little toesie-woesies!”. in the second, she’s in her business garb, a blank smile on her face, saying “he had such lovely little toesie-woesies”]

some things just stay with you

#good omens #my art #pocomens #anonymous #asks

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ellenripleysbelieveitornot · 5 years

Text

Hey, all, here’s the continuation of my Good Omens role swap AU, The Other Side of the Coin! Find part one here!

Read on Ao3!

---

Demons are rarely on time. It is uncertain whether this is due to a lack of time management, or a complete disregard for the importance of others' time. Or, perhaps, driving people mad from waiting just feels delightfully demonic. Whatever the reason, however, this particular quirk was grating on the nerves of two demons who were expecting to meet one of their associates in a graveyard.

Hastur lit a cigarette. "He should have been here hours ago."

Ligur, a woven basket clutched in his hand, grunted in agreement. "It's that contraption he rides around on. Slower than anything. What's he call it again?"

A single light cut through the darkness as a figure frantically peddled up on an old-fashioned bicycle complete with curved handlebars, a basket, and even a little bell.

"A velocipede," Hastur spat with distaste as Azra dismounted the bright yellow bike.

Finally, after he had proceeded to spend several minutes fumbling with the chain in an attempt to secure it to a headstone before finally just miracling the the thing on, he approached the other demons, who greeted him with a ‘hail Satan.’

“Y-yes, yes, jolly good and all that. So sorry for the wait, I hope you two weren’t here long?” The goat-eyed demon asked, pulling off the dark grey wide-brimmed hat he used to hide his features from humans and clutching it to his chest, where he fiddled with it nervously. He wore a long beige overcoat over a dark grey sweater vest and a cream button up shirt. The ensemble was completed with a tartan bowtie that was the same shade of light blue as his eyes.

Hastur and Ligur exchanged a long-suffering look.

“Right,” Hastur said, “Let’s recount our evil deeds for the day, then, yeah?” And he a Ligur proceeded to do just that while Azra listened and nodded politely. After they had finished regaling Azra with their tales of dastardly doings, they looked at Azra expectantly.

“Oh! My turn, then?” Azra clutched his hat tighter. “Right, erm, well, let’s see… Oh! You two will love this. Are you ready?" He held his hands up like a showman about to present his next act. "I rearranged the books in not one, not two, but three different libraries."

Hastur and Ligur stared at him blankly.

"What…?" Hastur said.

"I… I rearranged them... badly," Azra explained, flourishing one of his hands in a 'ta-da' gesture.

The blank stares continued.

"I put the- I put the books in the wrong places. I-I put the science books in the science fiction section... and so on."

"Right…" Ligur extended the wicker basket towards Azra. "Anyway…"

Azra looked at the basket but didn't take it. "What's that?"

"Treats for Grandma," Ligur said with a sneer. "What do you think?"

Azra paled. "Already? Jesus Christ."

Hastur grinned wickedly. "Not quite."

---

Meanwhile, in lower London, Raphael was sitting down in a small cafe as a waitress brought him a cup of coffee. He was dressed from head to toe in bright white, including bleached white jeans. The only part of his outfit that wasn't white was his bolo tie and the leather jacket currently draped over the back of his chair. His face was framed by a pair of horned rimmed glasses with golden frames but no lenses.

"How can you consume that?" Gabriel asked, sitting down opposite him "You're an Archangel."

"It's coffee," Raphael answered, taking a loud, long sip. At Gabriel's disgusted look he smirked over the edge of his mug. "It's bitter. Like me."

Gabriel look unamused. "Can you at least pretend to behave like a proper Archangel?"

"You know," Raphael got the waitress's attention and gestured for her to bring another drink for Gabriel. "If you don't want to arouse suspicion from the humans, you should probably have some, too. Just looks weird, otherwise."

"How have you not Fallen, yet?"

It was a very thin line, Raphael had realized, the one between Falling and Not, and he marched directly on top of it with a provocative sway in his hip and all the practiced grace of a tightrope walker. At least, that was how he pictured it. From an outside perspective it looked more like a drunk trying to prove he was sober by walking on the lines of the road and failing miserably. Stumble as he might, however, he still hadn't Fallen, so he figured whatever he was doing couldn't be that bad.

He shrugged. "Someone's gotta keep the rest of you from getting too full of yourselves."

Gabriel grimaced as the waitress set down a mug in front of him. He picked it up and sniffed it before setting it back down again.

"Now, now," Raphael teased. "That's not very convincing. Look, people are staring."

They weren't, but Gabriel made a show of chugging the coffee, anyway, which did earn him a few concerned glances. He slammed the mug back down on the table, looking very much like he was trying not to hurl, before looking around at the other patrons. "Satisfied?"

Raphael masked his snicker by taking another sip of his own drink.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "Laugh while you can. This disgusting swill won't be around for much longer."

That got Raphael's attention. "How do you mean?"

"I mean," Gabriel said pointedly. "Things are afoot."

"...Really? 'Things are afoot?' Come on, Gabriel, do you even hear yourself?"

Gabriel looked like he was barely containing the urge to hit him. "It seems the demon Azra is involved, so be on alert."

“Alert. Right.” Raphael gave him a mock salute that Gabriel ignored as he stood and left the cafe.

---

Azra pedalled at full speed down the dark road, the wicker basket balanced precariously between the handlebars.

The facts were these:

The basket contained none other than the Antichrist himself.

Azra had been tasked with delivering it to the hospital where the Order of the Chattering Nuns were waiting to swap it out with the son of an ambassador.

A velocipede (bicycle!) was not the most effective means of transportation, and he was, once again, running late.

When he finally reached the hospital, Mr. Young was standing outside. The other man watched as he once again struggled to lock up his bike.

"Um, you left your… light on?" Mr. Young pointed out as he approached with the basket slung over one arm.

"Oh! Heh! It'll turn itself off, don't worry!" It wouldn't. "How is everything getting on?"

Mr. Young looked confused as he tried to catch a glimpse of Azra's face under the low brim of his hat. "Are you a doctor?"

Azra stopped. "Erm… yes?"

Mr. Young didn't look particularly convinced. "They're in room three."

Azra made his way inside with a cheerful 'tickety-boo' called over his shoulder.

Upon entering the building, he ran into Sister Mary Loquacious, and the two spent several minutes fawning over the Antichrist's little toesie-woesies. When they had gotten that out of their system, Sister Loquacious took the basket, and everything else went in the same disastrous way that it would have in some alternate universe where, say, Azra was an angel and Raphael was not.

You know, if such a universe existed.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens role swap #aziraphale #demon!aziraphale #anthony j crowley #crowley #angel!crowley #my fic

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kanna-ophelia · 4 years

Text

Hear the Serpent’s Hiss

31 Day of Ineffables Day 6, Sleigh Bells.

And my very first Radio!Good Omens fic. i.e. Crowley has a sexy voice and Aziraphale is at his most waspish queen-ish. baby!Warlock era.

On AO3

On Wattpad

* * *

Aziraphale could hear a voice like melted chocolate, a deep rich dark sweet voice designed for temptation, coming from behind the yew hedge. He could catch the words "sin", "destruction" and "evil".

Ah. That would be the new nanny, then.

He padded on quiet feet, much more padded than gumboots should really be, around the corner, and listened to the temptations of Hell.

"You're a booful Prince of darkness, aren't you? You're the prettiest, cutest, most booful devilspawn ever! Oh, you like that, don't you precious? You like a big raspberry on your adorable ickle tumtummy, my prince? Yes, you do, yes you do, you lovely gigglepot Lord of destruction you. Do you like kisses too, dragonlet? Does oo like kissy-kissies?"

Aziraphale stood quietly, just long enough to store up a lifetime's worth of mockery material in his memory. It was unfortunate that his lifetime was probably going to last just over ten years. Then he cleared his throat.

Crowley stopped tickling the giggling Antichrist and sat up.

"I see you and Warlock are getting along," Aziraphale said mildly, sitting down on the blanket beside him and holding his arms out for the baby.

"I can't help it," Crowley said, handing Warlock over. "He's the son of my Dark Lord. I'm probably genetically predisposed to bow down and worship him."

"I thought the whole point of this project is that, if we have genes at all, he's genetically an angel. Just like you." Crowley ignored that, and Aziraphale contemplated the child in his arms. Over the last few months Warlock had started to look less like an underdone poached egg, and more like a human being. Aziraphale still didn't really understand the appeal. "What dark liturgy is I am going to eat your darling wicked tummy all up from, again?"

"Plenty of cannibal cults in the old days," Crowley said defensively.

"Well, you would know." Aziraphale tickled the baby under his chin. "You are a very, ah, nice baby," he hazarded doubtfully.

Warlock spat up all over him.

"Sorry," Crowley drawled. "I shouldn't have thrown him about so much." He drew a sigil in the air, and the sweet smelling vomit vanished. "You just wait until he starts solids properly."

"Thank you." Aziraphale continued to cuddle the child, but turned him to face away, snuggling him in his arms. He looked up to see Crowley watching him with a curious expression, glasses shoved up, on his head.

"Should you expose your eyes like that?"

"Probably not." Crowley didn't lower them. "Don't you ever come to the house?"

"No real reason to come in."

"I'll have to come to the garden more often. So you can counterbalance me a bit."

"Crowley, Warlock's not even a year old. He can't understand a word of the nonsense you're babbling."

"You never know. When did you last meet an Antichrist? He might be thinking even now, When I'm Lord of all I survey, that prissy queen is going to be crushed under my hooves for refusing to come to see me and Nanny. Hey, angel, something has has been bothering me."

Aziraphale tensed. "Hell has noticed my presence?"

"No, not that I know of. It's just that irritating nun said she wanted to count the Antichrist's little toesy-woesys. Stupid, huh?"

"Unwise, possibly. Why are you thinking about it now?"

"I counted them three times yesterday."

"Were you expecting the number to have changed? I should think your side would make sure he had nothing to make him stand out."

"It's worse than that." For once, Crowley was looking nervous and ashamed. "Once I counted them, I kissed them. Do you think Warlock really is hypnotising me?"

Aziraphale bounced the baby, gently, so as not to set off another stream of vomit. Crowley was looking genuinely terrified. Funny, how after six thousand years someone could still surprise you.

"That skirt really does suit you."

"Thanksss. I like it." Crowley shifted uncomfortably. "Look, I'm serious. If he brainwashed me, our plan is doomed."

Warlock was gripping Aziraphale's finger with the tiny strength of a six month old baby, and Aziraphale was aware of a stirring of warmth that was to do with the devil's child, with Crowley's worried frown and expensive stockings, with ten years stretching ahead. Even if they were the last ten years, they might be quite pleasurable. "I don't think we need to worry about that."

"Right. Well, Christmas."

"Why? It's a busy season for us both, but I think we could be forgiven for focusing on Warlock instead, under the circumstances."

"That's exactly what I mean. It's Warlock's first Christmas. It's crucially important."

"Crowley, he's a baby. He has no idea what Christmas is."

"We don't know that. We have to start right." The dark, honeyed drawl was back in Crowley's voice as he sprawled back on the rug and looked speculatively at Aziraphale. "You'd make a far better Father Christmas than me. I'm hardly a saint."

"Neither were most saints if I recall. In any case, I'm not sure I approve of the tradition. It seems to foster greed, deception and teaching rich children that they are morally superior to poor children and therefore deserve more material goods."

"Exactly," said Crowley, with so much pride in his voice that Aziraphale glared suspiciously at him. "That's my side, anyway. You, on the other hand, get to foster joy and give him good, improving presents. Picture books about the joys of giving and kindness. Come on, you love books."

I love--Aziraphale looked down at the Saturnine dark face, the wickedly gleaming yellow eyes and, as usual, put the thought away for another time. Some unspecified point in the future when he would feel like examining it.

"You can never start an improving library too young," Aziraphale mused.

"Come on. Let yoursssself be tempted," Crowley hissed.

Aziraphale swatted him lightly but, in the end, he always gave in.

"Besides," Crowley went on, "Warlock deserves the bestest Christmas in the entire world, don't you, my gorgeous prince of darkness you." He tickled Warlock's tummy, and the Antichrist squealed with delight.

* * *

So it was that Aziraphale, dying internally from mortification, found himself materialised in Warlock Dowling's room.

"I'm not putting the guillotine in a baby's reach, whatever Crowley thinks," he grumbled to himself. "Let alone the books."

He carefully lined up next to the cot the books, dolls (to encourage nurturing) and classical music CDs he had chosen for his godson, as well as the variety of toy guns, weapons and monsters Crowley had chosen. Then he peeked on the Antichrist, who gurgled in his sleep.

"Sleep well, little Warlock. May you be at least in part the angel you have the potential to be." It wasn't a blessing, exactly. He wasn't quite sure what effect blessing the Son of Satan might have. "And be good for my demon. I think he loves you. Which means I will try to love you as well."

Crowley, on a camping bed in the corner, muttered in his sleep as if in response. Aziraphale walked over to him, seeing his face in the moonlight. A quite ordinary face really, handsome in a foreboding way--well, pretty, Aziraphale supposed, at the moment, although "pretty" was an odd word to fit Crowley, so perhaps not--but not too much so. A face which, apart from the eyes, was designed to fit in. To look ordinary, when he was anything but.

And always, always, the first and greatest tempter.

So it wasn't, Aziraphale reasoned, entirely his fault if he cradled the sharp jaw in his hand for just a moment, and pressed a feather-light kiss on his forehead.

Crowley's eyes opened, luminous yellow in the dark.

"Well, this is new," he drawled.

Aziraphale had too much dignity to panic. "Yes, it is."

"C'mere." Crowley pulled his face down and kissed him, long and hard and deep, as if it was something he had always wanted as well. It felt strange and unthinkable and natural and familiar to have those lips and tongue on his, those dear hands holding his face, and oh Aziraphale loved him. Ridiculous to pretend otherwise, now that Crowley was kissing him and bells were ringing in his head.

He pulled up eventually, and Crowley smiled up at him.

"Sssatan, I never thought I'd be kissing Father Christmas. That beard is the least sexy thing I can imagine. Don't wear it next time I kiss you."

"Who said there is going to be a next time?"

Crowley actually looked alarmed, and Aziraphale kissed his forehead again. "Go back to sleep, dear. Don't want the Dowlings wondering why their Nanny is snogging Father Christmas in their son's room."

Crowley flashed sharp teeth but turned over to settle back to sleep. "Don't forget to ring the sleigh bells."

"Crowley, really--"

"You promised. You're an angel. Keep your promises. It's in the rules."

"All right, then."

Aziraphale went over to the cot and leaned down. Warlock opened big eyes that Aziraphale knew were blue, and smiled at him. Aziraphale felt a stirring of tenderness. "You're lucky I have a weakness for Hellspawn," Aziraphale told him, "although it probably won't count in my favour in the final reckoning if we fail at this."

There was a sound between a snort and a chuckle from the bed. "We won't fail. I'm not letting a little thing like Armageddon ruin our partnership."

"I'll hold you to it. Good night, Crowley."

"Night, angel."

With a martyred sigh, Aziraphale clambered out of the window and rang his bells. "Hope it makes you happy, you serpent," he muttered, then softened.

"Good night, my demons," he said. "I will protect you if I can. I will protect all the world, but especially you two."

Then he went back to the gardener's cottage alone and oddly content, the bells jingling in his pocket.

* * *

Notes:

Title and quote from Blue Öyster Cult , Demon's Kiss:

So children, you'll hear the serpent's hiss At the moment you feel A demon's kiss

I didn't end up using much of the prompt in the end--but I suppose that's just what it was, a prompt. @drawlight

#31 days of ineffables #day 6 #sleigh bells #radio good omens #AziCrow #Aziraphale/Crowley #Ineffable Husbands #ineffable husbands fanfic #air conditioning #holiday fic

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the-neon-potato · 5 years

Text

Okay okay okay SO

We all know Crowley has a soft spot for kids because of the whole “you can’t kill children” thing

And Aziraphale softened at “he had wonderful little toesie-woesies” in ep. 2

Imagine, for whatever reason, Aziraphale ends up babysitting for someone he knows. Crowley walks into Aziraphale’s bookshop and sees the LOVE of his LIFE either holding a baby or interacting with a small child

And he just frickin,,, dies

Like he has to go back outside and collect himself because he’s just too precious

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable godfathers #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale is baby

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almaasi · 5 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

either way i thought it was a good opening

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

also? god is a woman? yes

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great