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#he has so much bisexual energy
pygmy--tyrant · 1 year
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I am not and have never been a gamer but the more I hear about hades the more it sounds like it was created just to try and tempt me into the gaming world. everything I could have wanted from a game right down to the apparently well researched mythology is there. unfortunately my non-gamer identity is more than just a choice and I am genuinely just shit at it from zero practice otherwise I would have probably bought it by now
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radioconstructed · 1 year
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⌖ HI, HEY, HELLO! IT’S ME, hi, I’m the problem, IT’S ME, SIMULCASTING LIVE ON AIR and LIVE ON CAMERA! I almost NEVER DO THAT! Are YOU tired of scam calls? I SURE AM! Let’s make these CLOWNS our little APRIL FOOLS! TUNE IN for WILD IMPROV, VOICE ACTING, SCAMMER MALDING, and COVERS OF THE SCAMMER PAYBACK SOUNDTRACK! ALL DAY!
#// gonna drop context in the TAGS!#scambaiting is exactly what it sounds like! you bait scammers. for example pretending to be a potential victim to waste their time. some#people can go further and get their info to report to authorities or reverse connection into their computer and mess up their operations.#Al's goal here is to improv some insane scenarios (see link for an example) and have fun wasting these clowns' time so they can't make money#(this also saves victims but she is fueled mostly by pettiness and spite bc she hates robocalls)#they do get raging tho and she is gonna have so much fun making them rage. she has her own creative insults too.#(first link is long (but worth it) but the second two videos are short)#Her focus is improv but pls remember that she's pretty techliterate (like... her operating system is a linux and she set the hotel network#up with pihole to block all ads on the network) so she is running a virtual machine in case some scammer asks to remote into her computer.#Also! Scammer Payback is a scambaiter with a large following. He collabed with musicians to make a soundtrack. The songs pass as love songs#and stuff but they're about scammers/scamming/scambaiting and it's great. It's Al energy.#Anyway she VERY RARELY goes live on camera bc she dislikes being on camera in real time as there's no editorial control#but this is the sort of thing she wants to be on camera for! she's also broadcasting.#So. Lots of fun improv with live music between calls. It'll be fun. You'll get to see her make music live. Live looping and live instruments#(I don't think city lights & rain on me are officially part of the soundtrack. it's just the same artists collabing. but they have good sax#solos and I think april fool's is The day for Al to unironically refer to herself as h*rny in a song.)#⌖ online#⌖ hellfie#OH! THE FIREARM! I had drafted Al doing an iconic moment from a pengu*nz0 video and decided to use it for this.#She has that bisexual lighting going on too. It's to match the vaporwave music and also bc it's classic youtube.
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srijellyfishtempura · 7 months
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Everyone in Gilmore girls has such bisexual swag except Rory because he has such cringefail gay transmasc energy and I love him for it
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bibluebutterfly · 4 months
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It is truthfully so impressive to watch how we've watched Stolas grow as a seemingly asshole character to a genuine person who truly does want the best for the person we love. (HEADS UP: This is LONG)
Now, and we're only going to lightly touch on this because the Pilot isn't cannon, but it still contributed to the public opinion on Stolas. In other words, he was borderline predatory in a way that made EVERYONE uncomfortable. (It makes sense though since he was innitially supposed to be the villain. Which thank goodness that was changed because we already see enough bisexual predators in media as it is. Yes, I'm headcannoning that Pilot Stolas was bi.)
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Then we get official episode 1. Stolas is... not much better. Although to his credit, he's not as bad or as creepish. The unfair power dynamic is very there, and he definitely talks down to Blitz, but at least he waits until Blitz agrees before getting to the pilot level of sexual.
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And then we kind of just keep this up until episode 7. Stolas is VERY sexual and VERY horny with Blitz, and you either like it or you don't. It was consensual, nobody forced anything, and even Blitz says that he doesn't fuss about banging Stolas, but that power imbalance is very much there.
Stolas is calling him by pet names like "my little imp" and is baby talking him, which really comes off like his fetish is sleeping with the lower class. Again, you either like Stolas at this point or you don't.
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HOWEVER, despite all his baby talk and just generally inappropriate behavior, we are shown very early on that Stolas has a loving side, mainly in the form of his daughter. "You Will Be Okay" was the thing that got most people from hating him to actually liking him. It was the thing that separated him from just being a horny owl.
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Then Ozzies. Hooo boy. This is where we finally get to see Stolas apart from Blitz's POV and as it turns out... he's kind of a pathetic dork more than anything else. We see him go very low. Like the man is alone in his big house eating cereal for breakfast in his bathrobe and watching telenovelas. It's hard to go lower than that. More importantly, it's a stark contrast from how we saw him just one episode ago.
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Not just that, but when he's asked out on the date he is genuinely so excited and awkward that you just can't help but feel bad for the guy.
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And then we have Hells healthiest couple have their dick moment which leads to Stolas covering his face, validating every and anything Blitz had feared, which lead to him calling out Stolas which leads to them both crying at home.
AND THEN WE GET THE THING THAT MAKES EVERYONE EITHER LOVE STOLAS OR THINK THAT HE'S RUINED.... THE CIRCUS.
Yeah, so it turns out the arranged marriage theory was true, and that Stella has been verbally abusive for who knows how long. But the real kicker is how much it explains Stolas's behavior from season 1. As it turns out, Blitz coming on so strong that night resulted in Stolas trying (badly) to copy that energy. And it turns out that when Blitz told him to stop that first night, he still ended up tying Stolas up and banging him. So... understandable. It turns out that Stolas never wanted to be malicious with his intentions, but genuinely thought that the arrangement was something that they both wanted.
But at the same time, he realizes that misunderstanding or no, a part of him did recognize that Blitz wasn't as happy as he was, and that he can't gaslight himself into thinking otherwise anymore.
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Now the big thing about season 2 we all need to talk about, is how hard and fast it took Stolas off the regal and powerful pedestal that I think we all subconsciously put him on. Whatever mystery and darkness that surrounded him in season 1 went completely out the window in season 2. But personally I believe that this fits as season 1 was mostly told from Blitz's POV while season 2 takes place in Stolas's when he's there.
Stolas does not see himself as something regal and powerful. Stolas, as it turns out, is a romantic as well as a MASSIVE dork. Like he's disney princess levels of dorkiness. The man even gets his own slapstick moment for crying out loud.
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But aside from that, he's highly intelligent and a genuinely good person who will put others before him if he can recognize the benefit.
Also, while we're on the topic, I don't think that Stolas is as powerful as we or Blitz were led to believe. Like yes, he's got immense power to those who have none.
But at the same time, put him next to Asmodeus, and this demon who seemed so strong before is actually tiny in comparison. Especially when noted that Ozzie was still holding back in this scene.
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Now we have the "Look My Way" MV. By now, any dark mystery is gone, we know who Stolas is, but what we didn't expect to see was how blatantly Stolas realized his mistakes and took responsibility. This whole season we saw him be sad over his relationship with Blitz, but we never expected him to realize just how badly he messed up.
But he did. And it was glorious. And again, we realize how much he truly cares for Blitz, this isn't just him saying "I care about him" then doing nothing. This is him realizing he cares about Blitz, and wanting to do something to make it right. Even if that means Blitz will never want to see him again.
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Anyway. If you made it this far, I'm impressed. As I've said before, I'm proud of the owl boy and how far he's come as a character. Tell me if you think I missed anything.
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hotvintagepoll · 19 days
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Propaganda
Deborah Kerr (Bonjour Tristesse, An Affair to Remember, The King and I)— For several decades she held the record for most Oscar nominations without a win (6 in total), and she was a prolific leading lady throughout the 40s and 50s. She's best known today for the romance An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, and as the governess in The King and I. Many people have this erroneous perception of her as extremely prim, proper, and virginal, but this could not be further from the truth. When she first came to Hollywood under MGM she was typecast into boring decorative roles, but broke sexual boundaries for herself and Hollywood generally in From Here to Eternity, when she made out (horizontally!) with Burt Lancaster (on top of him!) in the famous Beach Scene. She went on to play many sexually conflicted women, a character type that would define most of her post- Eternity work. She continued to break Hays Code boundaries with Tea and Sympathy, which addresses homosexuality/homophobia head-on, and even did a topless scene in The Gypsy Moths 1969!! One of the only classic stars to do so. She deserves a more nuanced and frankly a hotter legacy than she currently has!!!
Ethel Merman (Anything Goes, Call Me Madam)— Possessed of a bold, brash voice, and an even bolder and brasher presence, Ethel Merman might be more well known for her stage roles, but she made several movies, and was bold and brash in them as well. Also I think if I don't submit her, she's going to come back and haunt me.
This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]
Ethel Merman:
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You've gotta love any woman who got typecast as lead-MILF
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Deborah Kerr:
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I think she was one of my first crushes before I realised I was bi in The King and I when I watched it as a kid honestly. The kissing scene in From Here to Eternity is iconic for a reason. Actually tried to learn the accents for the characters she was playing if they weren't English which is more than pretty much anyone else was doing then. Played very restrained characters who frequently seemed to be desperate not to be so restrained. Did horror movies without venturing into hagsploitation tropes. Gave Marni Nixon the credit she deserved for her share of the singing in The King and I.
Anne Larsen is a peak late 1950s bisexual with big MILF energy. Have you seen the behind the scenes pics of her wearing a suit?? Have you????? Vote Deb as Anne Larsen.
Nominated for an Oscar six (6) times and never won, but besides her having actual talent (hot), and besides her looking Like That (very hot, also beautiful), she was always playing women who are, like, crazy repressed. Which makes it fun and easy for me to read these characters as queer. Icon!!!! You know what's hot? Playing ambiguously gay in vintage Hollywood.
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Her face and talent and body, yes, ofc, duh. But also!!! Her HANDS!!!! I may be but a simple lesbian, but she is the best hactor (hand actor) that ever lived and that's HOT! For propriety's sake I feel I must redact a large portion of my commentary on this subject. Anyway. She's hot in her most famous roles (mentioned above), and also some of her sexiest hacting is on display in An Affair to Remember (her hand on the bannister when Cary Grant kisses her off-screen??? HELLO???), Tea and Sympathy (when she's trying to persuade Tom not to go out and she keeps flexing her hands like she wants to reach out to him but can't??? ALLY BEHAVIOR! WE STAN!), and The Innocents (which opens and closes with extended shots of her hands bc director Jack Clayton was also an ally and he did that for ME). Much of her appeal also lies in the fact that she often played deeply repressed characters and you know what's hot? When those uptight characters finally unravel. It's sexy. It's cathartic. It's erotic. Plus, she's beautiful to look at in both black & white and technicolor, and the more of her films you see, the more you can't help but fall in love!
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Literally is in thee most famously sexy scene of all time (or maybe just during the hays code era which is what we're talking about HELLO), which is the beach scene with Burt Lancaster in from here to eternity. To quote a tumblr post of a screen capture of a tweet of a video of joy behar on the view: "y'know, there used to be movies where they were kissing on the beach... From Here to Eternity. They're kissing-- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are Kissing on the Beach and then the WAVES crash!! You know exactly what they did!"
She might have a reputation of being chaste and virginal or whatever, but we all know it's the quiet ones who are certifiable FREAKS
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mrsaltieri-real · 7 months
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Hey could you please write headcanons for Stu as a BF (both SFW and non)? x
Stu Macher as a Boyfriend (SFW and NSFW)
I can, I can INDEED!
I absolutely adore Stu and so does @bisexual-horror-fan so I had to get her in on this. Because STU! I am truly disgusted in myself that I haven’t wrote for him before because I love this dickhead so fucking much. Feel free to send in more Stu requests because God, I’ve been sleeping on him for far too long.
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SFW
-Stu loves, loves, loves sharing food. Dude is the kinda guy who would be down to split entrée's at a restaurant, if you are both looking at two of the same dishes he gets excited like oh we can go halvsies.
-Stu is always going to be touching you. Always. Deal with it.
-He is speaking his mind, if he thinks something about you, he is telling you, particularly if he likes what you are wearing.
-Stu loves to go out with you, he is a party kind of guy, high energy.
-He is the best concert partner ever, even if it is music you are more into, he will happily go along and dance it up with you.
-Sweet tooth, bake him stuff and he will be so fucking happy.
-To me, he reads as a stoner, so a stoner girlfriend would be a total vibe for him
-Not a necessity but still FUN
-He’d never allow you to pay for dates. Never!
-He’d honestly be offended at the mere gesture of it
-Will talk your ear off about anything and everything
-Even if he knows it’s something you’re not interested in
-He is a big on cuddles, even though he struggles to stay still
-He cracks jokes 24/7, especially when you’re sad or upset about something
-He’ll do anything to see that smile again
-His love languages are physical touch, acts of service and words of affirmation
-I feel like he is protective, but not OVERLY protective
-Will give you the freedom to do what you want to do, but ensure that you’re safe
-Let him know where you’re going and keep in contact with him and you’re golden
-I don’t think he’s a particularly jealous boyfriend
-He’s self-assured and confident enough in himself to know that you’d never cheat
-He’ll wear you on his arm, proud as anything that he’s the one who has you
NSFW 🔞
-Get ready to get eaten out, constantly. I know, I know, cliché’ but he can’t keep his tongue in his mouth, he loves it, he’s doing it.
-And fingering.
-Guy seems like he is into object insertion, he likes seeing you take stuff, big and unconventional stuff.
-Stu is spitting onto your pussy for extra lube.
-Likes a hard fast fuck as much as the next guy
-But he has a soft spot for slow, intimate and passionate sex
-Your pleasure immediately comes before his own
-Like, he’ll get you off a couple of times before you even start fucking
-He has stamina for DAYS
-His cock is LONG but not too thick
-But fuck, it’s perfect
-He loves to kiss your neck
-His favourite position is the Mating Press
-He loves how it makes him feel every fucking part of you, watching your face to see how good he’s making you feel
-He’s a tits kinda guy. He just fucking is
-Looooves watching them bounce, playing and swirling his tongue around your hard nipples, feeling them…
-Everything about them. He is such a tit guy it isn’t even funny
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slf-nights · 1 year
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Angel Voices - Vash x Reader
4.1k words / minors DNI / takes place in trigun '98 canon
CW: reader has breasts, wears a bra, and has a vagina/vulva/clit, but no specific use of pronouns in fic (though one mention of "goddess"), no mention of skin color, hair color or texture. Both reader and Vash are written with the mindset of bisexual switches.
Use of nicknames like baby and good boy, mentions and descriptions of Vash's scars, oral (m on f + f on m), 69, f squirting on m's face, discussion of contraceptive method, piv sex (sitting with f on top, cowgirl, and missionary), monsterfucking (since Vash is a sentient plant; discussion of plant sex differences and weird plant cum), overstimulation, cum eating (only a little), brief aftercare (as there might be a fic part 2)
AN: Thank you to everyone for waiting on this! I wrote this with so much love for the original source material and I hope it captures the slightly goofy spirit of the Trigun 98 dub, both for Vash and reader 💖
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Morning again…
Slowly waking, you scrunch up your face, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. From behind, you can hear soft, even breaths and feel a warm hand around your waist.
We must have fallen asleep after the mission…
Closing your eyes, you take in the sensation of Vash’s body around you: his left arm slung around your waist, fingers tucked slightly under your shirt and legs tangled between yours.
You had only meant to talk for bit and process the day’s adventure, but even one beer and leftover donuts from the morning was enough to relax Vash and make him realize just how much energy he had used up.
He was staying at a hotel down the road, so you offered to let him rest a minute before heading back. He had obliged, slipping his jacket off and removing his metal prosthesis, showing you just how much he trusted you.
When you had sat down next to him, petting his hair as he relaxed, you must have fallen asleep too, lulled by the repetitive motion and gentle hums from Vash. You were supposed to wake him up, but instead you were laying next to him, the closest you’d ever been to the man you had a huge crush on.
He really should have been able to figure it by now…
For all his “reputation” as a womanizer, besides some harmless flirting, you had never witnessed Vash make a move on anyone. He seemed to prefer the company of drinking buddies or a bag of fresh donuts more than a night with a woman.
You knew why, though.
Beneath the handsome and charming outer surface, Vash the Stampede kept a secret perfectly contained. You’d never guess it by a glance, but he was pushing 150 years old, and hidden under layers of crimson leather and cloth were relics of his past—scars, surgeries, repairs, and metal prosthetics.
With a flashy enough jacket, no one usually asked questions about what was underneath.
You hadn’t seen them for yourself more than a quick glance when Vash stretched and his shirt rode up, but you had heard about the extent of his injuries from Meryl and Milly.
The insurance girls had become your friends quickly, often hanging out together and commiserating over how much trouble you all got into around Vash and Wolfwood.
You didn’t mind the adventures. Sure, danger followed you at every step, but you always seemed to come out alright—Vash and Nick always found a way to turn things around.
Which is how you ended up here, snuggled in the arms of the infamous gunslinger, the humanoid typhoon, and the man currently pressed up against your back, half-hard and sleepy, holding onto you like a touch-starved lover.
You knew if Vash woke up right now he would apologize furiously and move away from you instantly, but you didn’t want him to leave.
You wanted to go further—spend the morning in bed and explore…
You don't know how to cross that emotional barrier yet, but have time to think, cheeks burning as Vash’s fingers ghost over your stomach, almost dipping below your underwear waistband. Sucking in a breath, sensitive, you move your hips slowly, closing your eyes and waiting for Vash to wake up.
Only he doesn't.
He lets out a few breathy moans in his sleep, holding onto you tighter and nuzzling into your shoulder. You lay there, blushing, feeling Vash’s cock swelling into your back and starting to pant softly. You're already so wet without being touched, but don't feel comfortable going any further without consent.
Fuck, this was going to be awkward.
“Vash?”
He only stirs slightly, still lost in his sleepy haze.
“Vash, wake up.”
“Hmmmm??”
You needed only wait a moment before Vash’s hand promptly flies away with an embarrassed “WHAAAAYAGHHHH!!!” and the string of apologies comes as expected.
Instead of accepting them, however, you shove Vash back down onto the pillows and climb onto his hips, raising a finger to talk to him.
“Stop that!!!”
He immediately shuts up, cheeks still flushed, and stares up at you, dumbfounded.
“I like you, Vash.” You go right to the point, bluntly, so he has no excuses. “I like you romantically… sexually… and I don’t want your apologies!!!! I want you to stay.”
Vash’s mouth pops open, looking you over to see if you're really telling the truth, then asks sheepishly, “Why didn’t you say anything before???”
Frowning, you remain in your position, looking down at the gunman. “Do you know how hard it is to get a moment with you alone??? I appreciate the gentleman act and all, but it makes it hard to get to know each other.”
Turning his gaze away, Vash mumbles out, “Maybe you don’t want to know the real me.”
Reaching down to take his face in your hands, you gently turn his head back toward you. “Look, this doesn’t have to be anything permanent. But I don’t want to waste the time I have with you. You’re constantly getting into trouble and I never know if I’m even going to see you tomorrow.”
His brows furrow, but gaze softens towards you. “The life of an outlaw isn’t a safe one. Danger and destruction follows me everywhere I go. And I don’t want you to be collateral.”
Reaching for his hand, you lace your fingers between his, squeezing tight. “I don’t know what today holds, but you’re here with me now.”
Vash looks like he’s tearing up, having resigned himself to a life of loneliness long ago. “Do you really want me?”
You break into a grin, all the anxiety you had felt lifting away. “I do. All of you.”
“I…” He starts, then hesitates, swallowing nervously. “I’m not all that pretty. My face maybe, but. I’ve been around a long time, you understand? And fought so many battles…”
You nod, dragging your hand out of his grip and settling both of palms on his stomach. “I understand. Meryl and Milly told me a little about your past… But I don’t care about that. I care about you. However you are.”
“Ah, shucks.” He laughs, carefully putting his hand on your waist. “You’re gonna make me blush~”
“I believe I’ve already done that this morning, Mr. Stampede~”
He grins, his playfulness finally returning. “Please, not my full name!! It’s just Vash to you.”
“Vash.” You say his name out loud once more, uttering it with reverence and adoration.
“My Vash.”
His gaze meets yours, tracking down to your lips, then back up. “Can I kiss you?”
You nod, licking your lips unconsciously, then lean forward, setting your fingertips under Vash’s jaw and tilting your head. He meets your lips with his own, gripping your hip tightly as he whimpers into your mouth.
It had been far too long since he had been this close with anyone and your touch was electrifying.
Pulling back for a moment, though still desperate, Vash gets out between soft pecks, “Wait, wait. Lemme get my arm. Go to the bathroom. Wanna do this right.”
You sigh, sitting up. “Alright, hang on.”
Climbing off of him, you stand up and ask him to wait, then go to pick up his arm, making a little “oof!” sound as you return, struggling slightly with the metal’s weight.
Presenting the device to him, you watch as he aligns the locking mechanism, wrinkling up his nose as his arm reattaches, and letting out a sigh of relief out when he can finally move his arm again.
“I don’t usually take it off since it hurts to reattach, but my shoulder was aching so bad last night, I needed a break.”
You tilt your head, eyes traveling to his shoulders. “Do you need me to look at your shoulder? Did you get hurt?”
He shakes his head. “I’ll check it in the bathroom. Be right back.”
As soon as the door closes, you run to your drawers to look for lingerie, digging until you find a red bra, the same shade as his jacket, and a clean pair of bottoms. Shoving them into a cloth bag, you wait impatiently to swap places so you can surprise him.
Soon, Vash peeks out, hiding slightly with his clothes slung over his arm. He’s shirtless now with just boxers on, his scars fully on display. You walk over to him, kissing his upper arm and glancing up. “I’ll be right back. There’s water and snacks if you’re hungry.”
“Mhm.” Vash smiles, ruffling your hair affectionately. “I’m not going anywhere.”
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Vash has half a pudding eaten when you finally return, dropping his spoon and his jaw when he sees you step out of the bathroom.
“You all good?” Clasping your hands in front of your stomach, you sway slightly, watching as Vash sets the pudding aside and rushes toward you, getting on his knees.
“You're the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in the whole galaxy…”
“That’s not possible, there are objectively prettier things than me. Like… the Horsehead Nebula.”
Vash laughs, still on the ground. “Nerd.”
Reaching out a hand to pat his hair, you drag your fingertips over his scalp, grinning down at him. “Dweeb.”
Grabbing the backs of both your thighs, Vash pulls closer as you shiver at the cold metal on your skin, a slight damp patch already forming on your panties. Mouthing over the cotton fabric, Vash inhales deeply, drunk on the smell of you. You look down, embarrassed, pushing his head away. “Vash…”
“Sorry, was that too much?”
“You don’t waste any time, huh? Is it possible you’re really a ‘ladykiller’ like the legends say?~”
“Mmmh.” Vash raises his eyebrows, squeezing your thighs and making you squirm. “No more talking.”
Tucking his fingers into your waistband, he yanks the material down and lets you step out, tossing the garment to an unknown corner of the room. The air in the room is sticky with the desert heat, but Vash’s hands on you are making you sweat even more, starting to pant hard as he ghosts his breath over your now-bare pussy.
He’s maddening, teasing you without giving you what you want, making you only imagine what his tongue feels like.
Instead of kissing your clit, he moves to your thighs, kissing and sucking faint hickeys into your skin. He can’t contain his own pleasure, moaning softly as he leaves gentle bites, making you jump and suck in a sharp breath as he moves closer and closer to your dripping cunt.
Grabbing his hair, you desperately pull him up onto you and he makes a surprised “mmpf!” as his nose bumps your clit. Your cheeks flush even deeper, finally feeling Vash’s tongue dart out and collect your slick, sucking messily as he traces his tongue over your folds.
When he’s teased you enough, he pauses a moment, looking up at you with sparkling eyes, pussy-drunk, then dives back down, finally wrapping his soft lips around your clit.
“Nnnnh!!!”
Bracing yourself against the hotel wall, you bring a hand to your mouth to stifle your moans, remembering there are other guests just across the wall. Hissing out a, “Vash!” you point to the bed, knees buckling slightly as he rubs his thumb over your clit and gives you a false-innocent questioning look.
“Need something?~”
“Can we—“ Interrupting yourself with another high-pitched moan, you try again, voice wavering. “Bed. Please?”
“Well since you said please and all~”
Wiping off his mouth and grinning, Vash stands, sauntering over to the bed and pulling back the covers, waiting for you to lay down first.
When you finally do, he stares down at you quietly, watching as you cross your legs, pull your arms over your chest, and look away, suddenly shy at the intensity of his gaze roaming over you.
“No, please, don’t hide.” Vash sits down on the edge of the bed next to you, tracing his fingers over the bottom edge of your bra. “You look so beautiful right now…”
Finally meeting his eyes again, your heart leaps, seeing his softer side come out—his smile is warm and sincere, making you smile in return, sharing his happiness.
As you study Vash a moment longer, you notice little details: his eyes are wide and full of desire, hair disheveled from your touch, and lips still puffy from eating you out. You can feel warmth blossoming in your chest and cheeks, silently drawing your heart closer to him.
Leaning up quickly, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down into a kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. He moans when your tongue finds his, exploring your mouth softly as he climbs onto the bed. One leg settles between both of yours and his hands reach for your face, neck, breasts—anything he can hold onto and get closer to you.
When you finally break for air, Vash is giggling with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?? This is great!!”
Laughing too, you pull the back of your hand over your eyes and grin, cheeks flushed and breath coming out in soft pants.
You had noticed lately that Vash had two aspects to his personality: the hardened, tough, expert outlaw gunslinger side, and the very playful, hopeful, trusting and almost child-like side. In this moment, you loved being on the receiving end of the latter.
Moving your hand enough to peek an eye open, you see Vash grinning down at you again, tilting his head curiously and waiting for you to catch your breath. “You all good??”
You nod and sit up, pulling him into a hug. “Just happy you’re here with me is all.”
Feeling the warmth of his skin against yours and his hands resting gently on your back, you calm down instantly, taking a moment to rest. This was the first time you had been close to his scars and you reach out, gently tracing over some of them, watching for a response in case you were overstepping boundaries.
He lets you keep going, however, watching carefully as your fingers trace his skin’s memories of the past—the metal grating, the permanent clamps, the burned patches, old bullet wounds, and healed-over gashes.
Pressing your lips to the biggest scar on his chest, you slowly kiss your way up to his neck while your left hand slips down his stomach to his cock, rubbing through his underwear as you continue your gentle barrage of kisses and nips.
Whimpering, Vash tosses his head back, arching into your touch. “Feels… so good!” He whines, tilting his neck so you have better access. With a grin, you lick a stripe up his pulse point, making him shiver and sending even more blood rushing to his cock.
“Don’t stop. Pleeeease.” Vash grinds against your hand, desperation bleeding into his voice. You squeeze his cock gently, making him let out a strangled “aaaah!” and lean his forehead onto your shoulder. “Baby, please… You’re killin’ me.”
Laughing softly, you free him from his boxers, tapping your fingers on the precum leaking from the tip and stringing it out, then slicking your palm over the head. His reaction is instant—whole body shaking and cheeks flushing hot as he unsuccessfully tries to keep his composure, letting out a loud “fuck!”
Using the collected slick as lube, you grip tightly around his cock, jerking the shaft slowly and avoiding grazing the head until he calms down.
“Good boyyyyy. Look at you being so good for me, Vash~”
He whines again, thrusting up into your hand and biting his lip, completely at your mercy. The greatest outlaw in history and he was absolute putty in your hands.
“W-what—” Vash chokes out while you continue stroking. “What about you??” Gripping the sheets, Vash closes his eyes and moans loudly when you lean down to flick over the head with your tongue.
“What about me?~” You look up at him, still holding onto his cock with your mouth open, drops of pearly pre on your tongue.
He huffs out a sigh, trying to compose himself. “You make it really hard to think, you know that?”
Nodding, you close your mouth and swallow, noting a slightly different flavor—more earthy, green notes than any you’d tasted before. Weird?
“I mean…” Vash reaches out and pulls you up into a kiss, then holds onto your shoulder. “What if we worked at the same time??”
oH…
“Are you sure?”
He grins again, nodding fast. Crawling up to the pillows, Vash holds out his hands and motions for you to scoot back towards him. You oblige, glad your face is hidden as he grabs your hips and pulls you to his mouth, immediately licking around the edges of your still-wet folds.
Letting out a pitiful whine, your focus falters momentarily, lost in the haze of pleasure Vash’s tongue is bringing you. You reach out to find his cock, having to stretch a bit to reach (since he’s so tall), but returning quickly to your pattern of stroking the shaft and teasing the head.
All you can do is focus on your rhythm as Vash continues to distract you with his flicks and sucks as he moans into your pussy. You can feel yourself getting wetter as both of you work, slick beginning to drip down your thighs (and you imagine, Vash’s face).
Crying out in pleasure, you pull away from Vash’s cock, clenching your legs as you feel yourself come close. “No, Vash’s it’s—!!”
You didn’t want to come so fast, but your body had other ideas, letting out a small gush of fluid as Vash teases your slit and rubs your clit, making you spill over the edge. You squeeze your eyes shut in embarrassment, feeling Vash sit up and lower your hips to his waist.
“Are you ready now??~”
You expect him to be upset or shy, but when you look back, he has another stupid grin on and looks happier than ever.
The humanoid typhoon sure was something.
“Ye-yeah, if you are…”
Vash finds a washcloth on the nightstand and dries his face while he watches you take off your bra, asking, “I don’t think we have any protection right now… Do you want me to pull out, or…??”
“I think that’s the only thing we can do? Unless you want to pause and go find some~”
He laughs, shaking his head. “I know I’m clean, I got a big checkup from the guy who made my arm just a week or two ago. Plus, we don’t really know if Plant DNA is compatible with human…”
“Hm?” He had said it so nonchalantly that you almost didn’t notice. “Plant? Like, the energy sources?”
Putting a hand to his chest, he nods. “I’m a plant. Not exactly the same variety as the ones in the power cells, but the same genetics. My caretaker Rem always said me and my brother were a ‘miracle’.”
“Can we talk about it more later?” You prompt gently, glancing down at his cock. “I’m glad I unlocked some Vash the Stampede lore, but I think we were in the middle of something??~~”
He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, of course.”
There’s a twinge of sadness in his gaze now and you move forward, taking his face in your hands again. “I can’t wait for you to be inside me, Vash. Please. Fuck me.”
Smiling softly, Vash eases you onto his lap and holds securely around your waist with his metal arm. With his other hand, he guides his cock to your entrance, going slow and giving you time to adjust to his size as he eases inside you. When he hits the base, he leans into your shoulder, cockwarming himself a few moments as you acclimate.
“Jeez, you feel so good…” Vash murmurs into your hair, sighing happily. You wrap your legs around his waist tighter, trusting him to keep you upright. He fills you snugly, but not so much it hurts, and you clench around him once, letting out a whimper as he still refuses to move.
Pressing your hips down, you grind onto his pelvis, rocking yourself slowly as you hide into Vash’s neck and moan softly. He keeps the moment slow and intimate, rocking his hips up into you, matching your pace and energy until you’re ready for more.
It’s all so intimate—the sweat-drenched skin, panting breaths, hands grabbing into hair, feverish kisses, and complete trust. You’re intoxicated with the way Vash treats you like a goddess; a being worthy of worship and devotion. The way he kisses your breasts, grabs at your hips and waist, the way he times and angles his thrusts—his every thought is of pleasing you.
Laying back, Vash lets you stay on top, moving his hands to your hips to help you ride him. Bucking up with increasingly desperate thrusts, he lets out strings of “ah!!!” and “nnh!” with every motion, matching your chorus of whimpering cries. As you ride him, you reach down to your clit, rubbing slow circles as Vash pounds your sensitive pussy from below.
You can feel your second orgasm of the morning build quickly as your legs shake, your endurance starting to wane even as Vash continues unhindered. Holding still, you quietly scream out Vash’s name when your peak finally hits hard, squeezing your breasts through the shockwaves to heighten your sensations.
He watches you, lost in bliss, and memorizes every moment for later. He’s never seen anyone look as beautiful as you do in this moment: face contorted in pleasure and every part of you caught alight in bliss because of him.
Vash is feeling overwhelmed in the moment too; it can take time for a plant to come, even though they’re highly sensitive, as their complex sensory and nervous system has to partially restructure to prepare for genetic transfer. Vash can feel his non-metal arm go slightly numb as he gets even harder, noting that he’ll need to drink more water and be out in the sun again to regenerate later.
“Hey…” Vash smiles at you, watching as you slump onto his stomach. “I’m still not quite ready yet. Can you take more??”
Raising your head up from his stomach, you give him a weak but happy thumbs up.
He coos softly, pulling you up to lay on the pillows, “Don’t worry. I’ll do all the work. Just rest.”
Laying back, warmth still flowing out to your hands and feet from your high, you close your eyes as Vash lifts your hips to rest against his thighs. You soon feel his slick tip meet your slit and push forward, settling himself inside again. This time, however, the slow pace from the start is all but forgotten, Vash chasing his relief as he slams himself flush against you.
You can only focus on the sensory aspect of it all: the sound of his skin slapping against yours, the way neither of you can catch your breath, and how his grunts and moans get louder the faster he pounds.
Pushing toward your next orgasm, your clit is getting overstimulated by the metal of Vash’s thumb, mimicking your own motions from earlier and bringing tears to your eyes. You almost tell him to stop, but hold out, knowing he has to be close as he slows down, spluttering out, “I’m!!! I’m— nnh!!”
Sitting up onto your elbows, you watch as Vash pulls out of you, his tip bright red and swollen. He’s whimpering, almost crying, as he reaches down to swipe your slick onto his fingers and palm, making a fist and punching his cock through at a relentless pace.
“I’m so close!!! Gah!!! I’m! I’m coming—!!!” Vash is panting desperately, moaning out your name as he finally releases, splashing warm cum onto your stomach and thighs.
Completely drained, Vash shuffles on his knees to you and flops down, hiding his face into the pillows.
Sitting all the way up, you glance down at Vash’s cum on you and pick up a strand, analyzing it quietly: it’s slightly greenish in tint, a bit shimmery, and has a consistency more akin to translucent aloe vera than human cum. Popping your finger into your mouth, the same strange taste is still there—like lemongrass or cucumber mixed with a warm buttery taste.
Vash was full of surprises…
Looking over at your bed companion, you smile, seeing him already half asleep.
“Heyyyy, you did so good, baby. Rest, I’ll be right back…”
Petting his hair, just like the night before, you press a kiss to his forehead and go to clean up, leaving a sleepy Stampede to recharge until your return.
Do not repost or recc this work on tiktok / ao3 / wattpad, etc. It is meant for a tumblr-exclusive audience only 😚❤️‍🩹
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princesscolumbia · 7 months
Text
Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization
Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)
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Captain Archer
That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)
Scorecard
Ships commanded: 1
Wars started: 0
Wars ended: 3
Times on screen naked: 1
Nazi facilities destroyed: 1
Category: Grampa
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Captain Pike
Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?
Scorecard
Ships commanded: 2
Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)
Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3
Hair: Really Great
Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)
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Captain Georgiou
You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.
Scorecard
Ships commanded: 1
Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1
Awesomeness: Transcendent
Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass
(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)
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Captain Burnham
Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.
Scorecard
Mommy Issues: Has a subscription
Moms: 4
PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them
Ships commanded: 3
Mutinies led failed: 1
Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations
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Captain Kirk
Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.
Scorecard
Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]
Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]
Nazi regimes toppled: 1
Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1
Ships Commanded: 3
Ships He's Stolen: 3
Category: Slut(affectionate)
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Captain Kirk (the other one)
Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...
No, wait, hold on...
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Right! That's the one!
Scorecard
Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4
Ships commanded: 3
Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)
Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2
Category: Bad Boy
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Captain Picard
You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.
Scorecard
Ships lost in the line of duty: 2
Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1
Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1
Category: Inexplicable Sexyman
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Captain Badass Sisko
The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.
Scorecard
Civilizations saved: 4
Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many
Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke
Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1
Category: BAMF
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Captain Janeway
THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!
Scorecard
Borg Daughters: 1
Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)
Nazis she's personally shot: 1
Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you
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Captain Freeman
She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!
Scorecard
Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!
Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1
Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4
Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!
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Captain R'El
Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!
Scorecard
Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!
Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2
Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad
Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1
Nazis punched: Give him time...
Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!
Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.
Next Post in this series
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rorichuu · 7 months
Note
OMG HELLO!!! i see that u do tf2 and i’d love to request smth hehehehheheALSO ur account is so pretty what ?!?!
but i hope you’re well dude! can i request some relationship headcanons with some (or all!!) of the mercs pls? or any basic headcanons !!
take your time btw:)
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the tf2 mercs in a relationship + headcanons
pairing: mercs x reader (gender not specified)
authors note: MY FIRST REQUEST WAAAHH also oml thank you, you’re so sweet :( some headcanons coming your way! ... also i apologize if they're ooc, this is my first time writing for them:'(
disclaimer: minor spoilers for the comic in heavy's!
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Scout:
i’ll be honest, when scout found out Miss Pauling was a lesbian he was pretty beat up for a while
that was until he realized other people exist!
he literally follows u around like a puppy dog when he realizes he has a crush on you
ALWAYS TRYNA RIZZ YOU UP LIKE SCOUT PLEASE WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN UP BY THE ENEMY SOLDIER
his love language is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation
and is ungodly touch starved
i can see him trying to find ways to touch you, and not in a sexual way... just either grazing your arm when he talks to you, or he stays shoulder-to-shoulder with you when you sit next to each other
he finds it very very comforting
and if you tell this man he looks very handsome or just occasional i love you's, he'll fold ong
his heart melts and he just wants to hold you till he can't anymore
but i think Miss Pauling and Scout would be pretty good buds after the whole "Scout constantly flirting with Miss Pauling" thing died down
and his confession was pretty cringey ngl
his crush on you was very evident so when he tries to ask you out, you say yes
(skipping down the halls with joy)
bisexual icon
Soldier:
oh man
this dude's flirting is... so hard to detect😭
but a lot of his attention is on you!
and makes a lot of exceptions for you
for someone who doesn't like loud noises and is very sensitive to outside stimuli, if you're like me and he notices it, he'll definitely find a way to be more quiet
like if you and the rest of the mercs are lined up and notices you're cowering or anxious asf, he's goes soft and let's you go
if you thank him or say you appreciate him for his efforts, his face is SO RED.
but he salutes you and said he was happy to do for a fellow compatriot
(his hearts beating so fast help him pls)
BUT if you're just as loud and upbeat as him/share his energy, he's in heaven
he loves that you like to blow shit up with him?!?! like omg this is my lover and i will marry them on this battlefield right now.
love languages is totally acts of service
like if you save this man from the enemy he's blushing so fucking hard like omg i love you
with his confession, it was straight forward and to the point (but he was beet red ... basically my hc on him is that he blushes very easily fhjrebjh)
also gender doesn't matter to him, he loves who he loves
Pyro:
HUBBA BUBBA
i love pyro sm :3
anyway
best lover!!!
gifts and quality time!!!
alwwaaaaaaays giving you gifts like omg all the time
your reaction is her FAVORITE
like they'll find a flower burnt to a crisp or a homemade corpse bracelet and he'll have the brightest aura
LOVES MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOU OMG!
jumping up and down if you give her something
like she's the happiest person in the world
bonus if you share a love for fire
campfires/bonfire dates!!
and you're probably the only one who understands him (alongside Engi, of course) so your conversations are endless!
and is suchhh a sweet tooth
such a soft and loving partner!
when pyro confesses (and you accept) he's leaping with joy quite literally
BIG HUG :)))
asexual royalty!!!
Demoman:
holy moly
VERY DRAMATIC WHEN HES DRUNK AND VERY CLINGY
which is a lot of the time cause yknow, very much alcoholic
but when he's sober he's pretty level headed NFJHBJ (comics for reference)
idk man he gives off best friend kinda lover
like he's always so hype and the best to be around
so when he found out he had a crush on you, he was pretty much head over heels
when he's drunk he's always holding you
hugs, kisses, hand holding, slumping on you
NAPS!
omg the best to nap with ong
BRO IS A FUCKING HEATER he's always so gd HOT
so if you're taking a nap with him don't get a blanket he's legit sprawled all over you
but it's kind of a different story when he's sober (he gives you your space but def rolls around in his sleep)
oh boy his confession was definitely when he was on his 100th drink
his confession was SO SLURRED
if you said yes he's over the moon
Heavy:
honestly, this man is a huge softy
and VERY protective.
have you seen him in the comics? he was 100% ready to kill a man over Medic's death (and just his natural protectiveness, like his family for example)
but dude his love language is for sure acts of service and physical touch
when he realized he had a crush on you, he always kinda stuck by you on the battlefield
even with the high of combat, his eye always finds youuu😭
i love heavy sm
and its quite obvious this man doesn't speak much, unless in his native tongue (which isn't often)
so even if he doesn't say anything, he'll for sure stand by you or take your hand
if you have anxiety, this man is SUCH a comfort
also you'd def be the one to confess
if you asked him out or asked to if you could be his partner, he is kinda shocked but is very very happy :)
lets you hold Sasha
no label, love is love
Engineer:
AUGRRHHRR SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY
i'm so deeply in love with this man omg someone sedate me
but anyway
is SO polite and is SO PATIENT
he absolutely adores it when you visit him when he's working
it gets lonely sometimes because he focuses best when the others aren't around (aside from pyro) ... but when he realized how much he loved your presence, he expected almost every day for you to visit him at least once
(gets bummed when you don't)
but if you have a genuine curiosity for what he does and what it means, he tells you ALL about it!!!
he understands it can be very confusing if you haven't studied engineering/computer science, etc... so he is more than happy to explain it to you :)
BARBEQUES!!
loves cooking for you and would sooo wear a "kiss the cook" or something cheesy like that (he finds it funny and hopes to get a smoochy)
quality time quality time quality time
and pet names
omg pet names
"love", "darlin'", "sweetheart", "buttercup"
HIS CONFESSION OMG
i can kinda see engi being a bit cheesy honestly
his confession would be pretty casual! he wasn't too stressed about asking you... and would probably slip the question in mid-convo !
rfhbrtgbj much love for this man
pansexual!
Medic:
I'll be honest here
his love is lowkey highkey possessive
but i think it'd either take a while for him to realize his feelings for you or would become attached VERY QUICKLY
there's zero in between
with his deep love and possession, he finds such deep fascination with your anatomy/body
not even sexually bro
he just thinks you're so incredible and puts u under a microscope
PHYSICAL TOUCH
this man hasn't felt the touch a person in years (aside from the mercs' checkups obviously)
and übercharge, if it was a love language
worships u ONG
loves to see you with such confidence when he activates the übercharge omfg
he thinks you're the most attractive thing he ever laid eyes on
confession? nah yall kinda just started dating; yall kinda just started happening
let me explain😭if someone was tryna ask you out, medic would be pretty quick to step in
uses his height to his advantage to let the person know what's up 😨
bisexual with a def male lean
Sniper:
at first you would definitely think sniper hates you
he wouldn't purposely avoid you, but he like spends zero personal time with you at first
he's always in his van and istg u wanna drag him out and force him to tolerate you
(and he'd probably find that very attractive if you did)
but if he found out he has feelings for you? oh boy oh boy
acts of service 🔛🔝
if you were in close combat with someone and you tripped, the enemy having the upper hand... you'd hear a sudden gunshot in the enemy's skull and a loud thud.
but before you could look up, he was nowhere to be found (you knew it was him and you were very appreciative)
if you brought it up to him OH MY GOD his face would be soooo red soso red
"Don't worry about it, mate..." HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT
the most bisexual man i have ever seen
Spy:
too suave for his own good dude
his love is very old-fashioned!
when spy finds his massive crush on you, is when he realizes the comfort of your presence
if you can have comfortable silence with spy is when he is totally connected/in love with you
smoking out the window/evening night conversations!
also when i tell you this man gets so flustered if you one-up him...
he'll wave it off and play it mad casual but on the inside he's malfunctioning
would definitely take you to the best, high-class restaurants and walks you home omg
HAND KISSES FOREHEAD KISSES
loves to spoil you holy shit
always buying you stuff (jewelry, clothes, shoes, personal things you like... he bought it already)
which btw love language is definitely gifting and quality time
def bisexual like cmon
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rorichuu!
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cattuladaily · 1 year
Text
The three main narrators of Dracula according to pop culture:
- a stodgy British Victorian man who treats his wife like dirt and has probably never given a woman an orgasm in his life;
- said wife, a sensitive innocent maiden who falls in love with Dracula because he treats her SO MUCH BETTER;
- who?
The same narrators according to Tumblr:
- an unhinged Sturm und Drang baby lawyer with transfem energy who went very close to kicking Dracula's ass TWICE and who loves his wife so much that when given the choice between eternal damnation and losing her he picks damnation, over and over, with a determination we can imagine easily applies also to giving her orgasms;
- said wife, a bisexual goth queen with a domme kink who wanted to make sure she was present at her own funeral because she knows the men in her life don't know how to run shit without her and who would rather die than fall in dracula's hands;
- a doctor with Something Wrong With Him, a podcast, and extreme bisexual and genderqueer vibes who can't go three seconds without being horny on main, a trait Tumblr strongly identifies with
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beanghostprincess · 2 months
Note
Silly goofy wild and funky idea:
Transman Crocodile who transitioned via Ivankov.
Cross Guild events and Cross Guild Poly where Buggy finally gets the nerve to come out to her two lieutenants and also boyfriends. Mihawk just blinks like "yes? Your Haki is distinctly feminine, so this makes perfect sense. Oh, dear why are you crying, stop that-" meanwhile Crocodile has to bite back every single we traded genders joke and instead just shrugs, going "I quite literally could not be paid to give a fuck. You know I'm bisexual, this changes little, Clown."
Croc does off hand offer to hook Buggy up with Iva if that's smth she's interested in, tho.
Meanwhile Sanji has come out to the Strawhats as a transwoman as well, and the reactions are much more dramatic but no less supportive - if anything, some may be too supportive /hj ((Franky calls her queen and sis and Hawt Mama, Chopper already began working on ways to synthesize estrogen Just In Case, Luffy could not be made to give a single fuck, Ussop is swooning, Zoro informs her that this changes nothing and he'll still kick her ass, Robin offers her congratulations, Nami is already mathing out adding another bed in the girls' room or making a room JUST for Sanji and Ussop to share, Brooke waits 0.006783259 seconds before asking to see undies, just everyone being supportive and stupid))
This leads to Ivankov getting two separate contacts for their services, and so they arrange to meet at a small-ish island to help both, two birds, one stone :)).
Both crews go full Spiderman meme when they come across each other, and Iva handles it with all the gentility of a bull in a china shop, whisking both ladies away while the rest are left just plain gaping and awkwardly avoiding eye contact or completely oblivious to the tension (cough cough LUFFY).
Insert your own silly ideas here, generally.
But when they come back, Mihawk, Crocodile and Ussop are all just absolutely SWOONING for different reasons, full of Respect Woman Juice and I Love My Wife energy, it's adorable and cute and funny.
((Bonus: Luffy calls Buggy auntie without hesitation, and she almost cries even as she punches him over the head))
THIS IS SO CUTE SELJKFNSFLEFNLNDFDLKNSDLK
Okay, so, my thoughts on this. Crocodile having to hold back the 'we traded genders' joke is so damn real and I laughed SO hard. Love him. So true. And transfem Buggy lives in my mind rent free so this is just perfect because I absolutely love her. She's my beloved. She'd be so anxious about it and cry and Mihawk and Crocodile are like-- So done with her because she's acting stupid and dramatic and of course they're going to still want her. And she's crying and they're rolling their eyes and patting her head at the same time. Poor thing. She needs comfort okay??
And,, Transfem Sanji coming out is always so beautiful in my head. She's been battling her gender issues for AGES and now she feels comfortable enough to come out to the crew. She's anxious but she knows she has to do this now or she never will. And it's-- It's so real to me. The way she would explain everything that happened to her back in Momoiro Island and then say that she's actually a girl. And everyone's quiet because they know she's looking at Luffy only right now, expecting an answer from her captain. And Luffy is just like "??? Okay? You're still my cook. So who cares? You seem happier now!" and that is when Sanji starts crying. Because of course she's crying. And of course, Usopp is the one to hug her first because that's his girlfriend and she needs a hug and forehead kisses right now. But they have 0 privacy because Luffy wants hugs too. I mean. Obviously.
Franky is loud af and he's SOBBING while he screams how proud he is of their cook (I've always said Franky feels like a girldad because just look at how he interacts with Nami. And he's sooooooooo loving Sanji right now). Robin would be so so proud too and would say she's happy for her and smile in the sweetest of ways (Robin please adopt me). I think Chopper would also ask a lot of questions before making estrogen, just in case, but then he'd go and try to make it right away. Nami hugs Sanji but the sweet moment doesn't last long because she's already telling Franky her ideas for a bigger, better room for the girls or!!! "Better!!!!!! A room for Sanji and Usopp so we don't have to deal with them!!!!!! But also make the girl's room bigger because I say so!!!!!!". Zoro says he doesn't give a fuck because he will still kick her ass but he's secretly happy that she looks more relaxed and comfortable in her skin. Brook is Brook and he says his Brook thing about panties but I think Sanji would kick him having the best gender affirmation moment of her fucking life. And Jinbe is just the cutest because I think he'd laugh at the chaotically sweet situation and say that strength comes from being happy with yourself and Sanji is the strongest for being so brave and true to herself (he be saying poetic and cute shit like that and he expects me not to absolutely love him. Dad behavior. I am SO sure he would beat the shit out of anybody who misgendered Sanji. But that's what any Strawhat would do, so,,,).
They go see Iva (Iva my beloved) and they're all,, So uncomfortable,, Buggy acts overconfident and says she's perfectly fine and not scared at all of what Iva's going to do to her body (liar. She's scared af and Crocodile and Mihawk know so they keep scaring her even more because it's funny to see their girlfriend crying. Look. The fact that they're soft and dating doesn't mean they're not gonna bully her). And Sanji has smoked like two fucking boxes of cigarettes already despite saying that she doesn't care about it (she has never been more excited in her entire life) and she's holding Usopp's hand so hard she's going to break it at some point. Anyway, Iva is a dramatic bitch and they make Sanji and Buggy come with them to a more private place because they want it to be a surprise for everyone (drama queen. Love them. I would do it too. Trust the process, girls, you're in good hands). So Cross Guild and the Strawhats end up alone and waiting for their girls to come back. And. Yeah. Uncomfortable. Zoro looks at Mihawk at some point and goes:
Zoro: I thought you were gay. Mihawk: I swing both ways. Usopp: Actually, you swing sword- Mihawk: Awful. Shut up. Don't ever speak to me again. Don't even look at my direction, actually. Roronoa, why is your crew like this? Zoro: It was really funny, though. Mihawk: I wish to not partake in this conversation anymore. Everyone just shut up and wait. ............. Luffy: Hey, guys, do you think Sanji's going to have bigger boobs than Zor- Nami: OH MY GOD LUFFY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT Luffy: BUT I'M CURIOUS Zoro: Yeah, she's going to ask for the biggest of boobs only to piss me off because she's annoying like that. Mihawk: Why would you even care about your breast size, Roronoa? Crocodile: Tsk. You care about mine. Usopp: OH MY GOD SJKFNSKDEWKFJNJKSFN
Okay, so Sanji and Buggy eventually come back. Finally. And they were gorgeous before but now they're even more beautiful because they actually look extremely happy with their bodies. I want to describe how I see them but just check @/vongulli's account and see their fem Buggy because she kills me every time and that's the only way I can see fem Buggy now. And Sanji to me looks like @/sibmakesart's fem Sanji. This artist made a nude fem Sanji not long ago and I loved it,, So much,, ANYWAY!!!!!! Getting carried away.. Thinking about women. It's not my fault I'm a lesbian. But they look perfect and they're comfortable and happy. And Sanji's boobs are surprisingly not huge and Zoro makes a comment about that but Sanji is like:
Sanji: WHAT????? YOU ONLY SEE ME AS A BOOB-OBSESSED GIRL OR WHAT? Literally everyone at the same time: Yes. Sanji: Well, for your information- Usopp: She likes thighs more Sanji: Usopp, don't tell them- Iva: And also, my dears, that is not how my power works Zoro: So you did ask for big boobs and you couldn't have them Sanji: I'm going to kill you and wearing heels it's going to hurt even more Usopp: Is it weird that I'm kind of turned on right now? Nami: ...Haha Usopp: Are you okay? Nami: Hey, Usopp, I- Usopp: You can't fuck her Nami: I swear I can't have anything!!! What do you have against lesbians??? Usopp: YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY??? Nami: I dunno, yes??
Crocodile and Mihawk are having... A moment. They will still bully her and they're sure she's going to look extremely pretty crying and whining but right now she deserves to be worshipped because just look at her. Buggy approaches them and she's like "If you laugh I'm going to throw knives at you and then leave Cross Guild and!! And!! And I'm going to be really mad so pleasedon'tlaughireallylikethispleasedon'truinit" and they look at her with the fondest of looks (but gotta be honest, they're so horny right now it's unbearable. Like yes, happy wife happy home happy everything but also happy dick because just look at her). Crocodile is just frowning and genuinely asks "Why would we laugh? You look stunning, dear" and Mihawk follows with "I must say I'm not surprised, since you've always looked beautiful. But you look... More satisfied with yourself." And Buggy has to hold back the tears and that's why she starts saying things like "Pffft. Yeah! I knew I'd be gorgeous like this too! Now I look even flashier!" and y'know, the two men are letting her have her moment because now she looks even better and they can't stop staring at her. So maybe she's right this time when she fakes confidence.
Usopp and Nami need a second to process everything, I think. Also, they both hit Brook at the same time when he's about to ask Sanji the question™. Nami is having a lesbian moment, but of course Sanji realizes and does her Sanji thing like opening her mouth and speaking:
Sanji: Nami-swaaan!!! Do you like how I look now??? Nami, ignoring her and whispering to herself: Disgusting. I hate this. Zoro: At the end of the day it's just curly, huh? Nami: I was thinking with my dick. Zoro: Yeah. Happens. Been there.
So, Usopp and Sanji finally get their moment together because at least the Strawhats are respectful enough to give them their sweet uhhhh two minutes before they start complimenting Sanji. So that's something! Sanji is confident with her body but is a bit shy and isn't sure what Usopp will think about this. Not that she has changed much, even, but, you know. Just different. In a good way for her! But different. And Usopp approaches her slowly and smiling and he's just so so so happy. And he's like "You look gorgeous!" / "... Really? I wasn't sure whether you'd like it-" / "I will always like you! But more importantly, do you like you?" / "I mean- Weird phrasing, but yes. Yes? I think so. Yes." / "Then that's all that matters." And Sanji really, really doesn't want to cry because she has never cried in front of the whole crew. She just can't help it. But Usopp knows she doesn't like it when others see her cry so he quickly wipes her tears away and when she starts laughing (so so happy and full of love) Usopp just needs to kiss her.
Meanwhile, Luffy is there calling Buggy auntie and asking when she's going to tell Shanks about this. She keeps saying she will never tell him and if he wants to find out, he'll do it through her new wanted poster or whatever, but not from her.
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maxphilippa · 2 months
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Redesign of my Fan gijinka! Look at this guy!
So, on extra data about him:
- He is a peacock hybrid! As the ref says, he used to have wings (they were pretty much the same pattern as his tail), but he lost them due to the effect that the game had on him. He does have a good part of them intact, but they're too little for him to fly/navigate, so he hides them and uses the prosthetics that Test Tube made for him instead. But he didn't bring those in Invitational, since he genuinely thought that they were going to a Spoiled Lemon concert.
- He has scars on his body due to the game and also the shimmers as well.
- He's bisexual, genderqueer and polyamorous.
- The star necklace he has is from Test Tube, he got a bracelet that glows from Lightbulb, and after s2 ended, once Paintbrush and him grew closer + he matured, he got a purple bracelet from them. He also got a piece of yellow cloth from Suitcase in the cave challenge.
- He doesn't have sharp teeth. It is a rare case amongst hybrids, but Fan is pretty chill about it.
- His tail pattern is formed by hearts and some diamonds.
- He has Spoiled Lemon merch on s3.
- He does have more II merch, but he usually has it on his bag or puts them on the cabins where they rest, but post s2, after his interest for the show cooled down a bit, he stopped wearing so much about it.
- This is more of a me type of thing while redesigning him but, he really just gives off lil guy + dad energy here.
- Of course, on early s2, he was slightly skinnier and didn't have those scars. But post s2, he's pretty comfortable with himself, so it shows through how he looks like. He let his hair grow and started using comfier clothes.
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Art tags:
@ch0cocrave @cookieseals @peppermintz-25 @leespinoodle @facelessthefreak @salachy-part-two @knightobreath @chur00 @bugdatabase @a-narcissists-warren @hazeltailsfriend @devycolamy @trophantics @fan-dom-stuff @waterwind4 @kabi-jednajedina @hamsterslover @tdutb @mintpopz @burgycreeper405-blog @galaxy-brushs-posts @therealsalty24 @sunnyscreamss @mysticflowerz @coccinellaaa
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from-the-clouds · 10 months
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texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xiv
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series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | chapter summary: The final chapter pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 9.2k (I love being insane) chapter warnings: SMUT (18+only) - unprotected sex. Insecurity/Jealousy. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, blood and injuries. Alcohol & Marijuana use. Fluff. Bisexual reader (happy pride ya'll!). As always please dm for more specifics. a/n: This could probs use another round of proofreading but it would've delayed this even longer sooooo.... Here we go! I feel pretty emo right now and I might make a more in-depth post about my thoughts at a later date bc I just finished writing this in a hot daze so I can't put all my thoughts coherently together. But I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported and gave love to this story. This is by far the most popular fic I've ever written, and I don't really know how? Or what I did to deserve all the love but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you for sticking with me through all the angst and delayed updates and everything. I'll never forget you and I'll never forget Joel x Reader!! Thank you so much, I hope the finale lives up to your expectations! ❤️
**I DO NOT HAVE A TAGLIST. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **
I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialize I seem to lean on old familiar ways….
-May 16, 2024-
“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave you here alone?” 
Ethan’s voice jolts you out of a daze, and you blink your eyes open, realizing that you’d dozed off while sitting upright in a patio chair, the cheesy romance novel you’d been reading still lying open on your lap. Turning to look over your shoulder, you find him standing with one foot on the deck, and one foot still inside, cut in half by the sliding glass door.
Clearing your throat, you straighten up and nod. “Of course. I’ll be fine.”
Ethan studies you carefully, like he’s not entirely convinced. He’s been hesitant to leave you alone unless it’s absolutely necessary – only stepping away from the house to go on patrol shifts and to bring home meals from the mess hall. Recovery has made you feel like a burden to him – to all your friends in the community, really. Everyone….well, almost everyone, has been supportive, but you’ve never been comfortable being openly vulnerable.
Unfortunately, it’s too hard to deny the pain that you’ve been in since the accident, the trouble you have getting around, the exhaustion that clings no matter how many long naps and twelve-hour nights of sleep you get. According to the doctors, being so tired is just part of recovery – rest is important, but the concoction of pain medication you’ve been prescribed only makes your drowsiness and confusion worse. It had been a big deal that tonight you’d mustered the energy to drag yourself outside to sit in the fresh air. 
“I’m fine,” you assure Ethan, once again. “Have fun on your date.”
“It’s not really a date,” he says, almost a little too quickly. “We’re just hanging out.”
“Right,” you say, matter-of-factly. “Do I know who this person is?”
Ethan looks at his feet. “You remember the day this shit happened?” he asks, gesturing towards you. “Before you left on patrol, the girl that said hi to me? It’s her. Her name is Alex.”
“Oh?” you tilt your head, give him a small smile. “She was cute. How’d you ask her out?”
“Well,” he begins, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have…uh, gotten some advice.”
“You didn’t think to ask me?” you’re able to muster up a small smile.
“I would’ve, I just…..” he shakes his head. “It seemed stupid…with everything you have going on.”
“It’s not stupid,” you say, feeling a wave of guilt. Even though he’s the one looking after you, you haven’t spoken to him much about anything going on in his life. In fact, you haven’t really spoken to anyone in a long time, beyond thank you’s and blanket statements like I’m doing better. You feel disconnected, and more lonely than ever. If you ever get enough energy to leave your house, you expect most of the people in the community to have forgotten you exist. “Who’d you ask?”
“Uhm….” Ethan runs a hand through his long dark hair, shifts his weight. “….I’ve been assigned on patrol with Joel Miller a lot lately….so….”
You almost laugh when he uses Joel’s full name. Joel has been such a huge part of your life – sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain – that you don’t need to hear his last name to know who Ethan’s talking about. You could know a thousand Joel’s, and he’d still be the first person that came to mind. But Joel is still a sore subject, and Ethan knows it, which is why you suspect he’s avoided telling you this in the first place. You feel your eyebrows knit together, only able to let out an unenthused. “Oh.”
“I just, you know….he’s a guy. And it sounds like you even liked him at one point so….he must know something, right?” 
“That was a long time ago,” you say quickly, regardless of the fact that he’s right.
It’s probably not fair to blame Joel for everything that has happened to you. You know this, deep down. But you’ve been so helpless and isolated since you’ve woken up in that hospital bed that you’re desperate to find someone to hold accountable. And Joel hadn’t visited you in the hospital once. By this point, he’s abandoned you so many times that your resentment feels justified, even if your current state is not directly his fault. Because it was you, after all, who had walked into the path of those men, too angry to think clearly, too weak to take them down alone. The only person you can blame is yourself, and you really don’t want to.
“Did he tell you to take her out on patrol, make her cry, and almost get her killed?”
Ethan clicks his tongue, looks down, almost ashamed. “No. He did not.”
“You should be careful with Joel,” you warn.
“I was…” Ethan says. “But I don’t think it’s that simple. I think he’s actually alright.” 
“So you’re friends with him now,” you state, hoping he refutes. But instead, he looks up at you, frowns, and lifts his chin.
“What happened to you was horrible. It shouldn’t have happened. And yeah, maybe you think he’s the reason you almost died…. I don’t know the specifics so you can believe whatever you want. But I know that he’s the reason you’re still alive.” Ethan’s voice breaks, and you feel tears brimming your eyes before he continues. “He brought you back here, he donated his blood, he-”
“What?” you cut him off.
“What do you mean, what?” Ethan asks. “He was the only person there who had your blood type. You would’ve died if he didn’t. They didn’t tell you this?” 
“Whatever it took to make him feel less guilty, sounds like,” you say, dismissively.
Something hot burns in your veins, something that must have always been there since you woke up, but you’re only feeling it now. It’s unsettling, Joel being a part of you that way. Your lives had already seemed intertwined enough already. But now, he’s inescapable.
“Well, he stayed by your side every night while you were asleep. Fuck, I mean, he was probably there just as often as I was. He made sure I ate, and slept and showered and… and he never once asked for anything in return. He cares about you as much as I do, clearly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to think he’s a good guy….”
You must not care about me that much, you want to say, but you stop yourself. Because it’s not true, and you’d only be saying it to hurt him. You have nothing to defend yourself with, no way to convince him otherwise, and so you just stare at him until he shakes his head and slips back inside.
Ethan is stubborn, he always has been. And it’s a special kind of stubbornness, fueled by anger – so common in most of the young people you meet these days. You understand why they’re all like this. When you’re robbed of your childhood – you get stuck there….waiting….. Like someday you’ll have a chance to do it all over again, regardless of how obvious it is that you won’t. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
-May 25, 2024-
Things get better, albeit slowly. You begin to wean off the pain medication, which makes you more alert. It’s still difficult to leave your house, but you can move around it more easily, and you don’t spend all your days sleeping. Luckily, you aren’t as stir-crazy as you’d been expecting. 
One afternoon, Ellie Williams shows up on your doorstep with a bag full of groceries. 
“Maria wanted me to bring these to you,” she says when you open the door. “She told me to tell you she’ll be over tomorrow, but she wanted me to give you these to tide you over.”
“That’s very nice. Thank you for bringing them to me,” you try to take the bag from her hands, but she steps back just a little, like she’s unsure if you should be carrying anything. You let your hands drop to your sides. “Would you like to come in?” 
Ellie hesitates for a split second, adjusting the bag in her arms, and then nods. “Sure.” 
Stepping to the side, you allow her into the home. Because of how warm it is outside, you’ve opened all the windows to let the breeze through. 
“Sorry for the mess,” you say, Ellie following you into the living room. There are stacks of books and pill bottles with instructions scattered on your countertop. You haven’t swept the floors in awhile and all the hard surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust. It’s not really that bad, but you don’t have the energy or strength to be on your feet for long – let alone to clean the house. 
“I don’t mind,” Ellie says. “It’s not even that bad. I don’t know why older people worry about leaving your house messy and shit….no offense.”
“There was a time it used to matter,” you tell her. “And I see where you’re coming from, but my thing is – if you’re going to live somewhere, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable.” 
Ellie purses her lips, as if you’ve made a good point but she doesn’t know how to answer. Instead, you continue. “Can I get you anything? Water?” 
“No, I’m okay,” she puts the bag on your kitchen counter.
“You can sit if you’d like,” you tell her. “I just need a moment to put these away.”
When you walk into your living room a few minutes later, she’s hovering near your record player, looking through the vinyls. The turntable was already in the house when you’d arrived years ago, but it was buried in the closet and broken. Ethan had managed to fix it after a little troubleshooting and scavenging for parts. Now, you both were always looking for records to bring home, and had amassed quite the eclectic collection – jazz, funk, hip-hop, and everything in between. 
“Wow,” Ellie says, running her fingers along the shelved records. “You found all these?”
“Some of them were already here. But yeah. Ethan and I are always on the lookout on patrol. I can play you something. What do you like?”
“Eighties, I think,” she says. “But…I also haven’t heard as much.” 
“Well here,” you thumb through the records, pull out a worn copy of Speaking In Tongues. “How about some Talking Heads?” 
You pass the record over to her, and she stares at you blankly. It’s only then that you realize — she’s never used a record player before. There’s a familiar pang of sadness before you show her how. 
“Are you feeling better?” Ellie eyes you wearily once the music starts, and you settle onto the couch, feeling a little worn out after being on your feet.
“Yes,” you say. “I’m older now, so it seems like healing takes a lot more time.”
Ellie nods, then bobs her head to the music a little. “This is better than most of the stuff Joel likes.” 
“Oh yeah,” you smirk, and instinctually, you recall his enthusiasm for all things old-school country. “I remember that,” you say softly.
With so much time on your hands lately, you’ve found yourself thinking of Joel a lot, reminiscing on the time you’d spent with him and Sarah. What Ethan had told you about him staying by your side was definitely making you reconsider your assessment of him, even if you were still hesitant. It was probably a trap to think you’d ever be able to feel those things with him again, but if remembering them brought you comfort, you weren’t going to resist it. 
“You’re more than welcome to come over to listen anytime,” you offer, and she nods excitedly. 
Ellie stays for longer than you expect. You talk a fair bit. She tells you about what she’s learning in school – but mostly how ‘fucking useless’ it is. She wanders around your living room and pokes through your stuff without asking, but you don’t think to stop her – you just answer her questions and let her be curious.
Eventually, the sun dips below the horizon, and she excuses herself to go home, insisting that Joel will ‘fucking kill her’ if she’s out too late. Even though you’re exhausted after entertaining her for a few hours, you find it feels nice. Being on house arrest, essentially, had left your starved for connection outside Maria and Ethan.
You see her out the door before returning to your refrigerator to look for something to eat. Ethan will be back from patrol any minute, so it may be nice to make him something even if you have almost no energy.
But when there’s another knock on your front door, you’re shocked to see who you find staring on your porch. 
Joel.
You almost forget to speak at the sight of him. It’s been weeks since your accident and he might as well have moved away from Jackson since you hadn’t seen him at all. 
“Hey,” you say, tentatively, taking him in. He seems preoccupied – cheeks flushed, hair rumpled, and out of breath, like he had run all the way to get here.
“Have you seen Ellie?” he asks, not even greeting you in return. “I’ve looked everywhere and I-
“You just missed her,” you cut him off, not because you’re trying to dismiss him, but because he's clearly distressed. “I’m surprised you didn’t see her on your way over.”
Joel sighs, eyes closing in relief. “Thank God.” For a second, you glimpse the frazzled and overworked father you used to know. “She stayed out too late, had me worried sick.” 
“She’s fine,” you say. “Although she did say you might kill her if she didn’t get home soon.” 
Joel gives you an almost imperceptible smile, but seems mostly irritated by Ellie’s suggestion. “I would do no such thing.” He shakes his head and takes two steps backwards. “Thank you. Didn’t mean to be a bother.” 
Your mind floats to a memory of Joel on your front porch, late getting home from work and looking for Sarah, and you can’t help but feel a bit of sadness and longing for a simpler time, a surge of affection. 
Joel is halfway down your front porch steps when you speak again. “You aren’t bothering me.”
He pauses, turns to look over his shoulder. There’s something he wants to say, you can feel it, and you step outside, letting the door fall shut behind you and remaining huddled against the siding, and he turns to face you fully, sighing. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, actually….” 
“Oh…really?” you can’t keep the surprise from your voice, and he notices.
“Yeah,” Joel rubs his fingers together, a nervous habit of his you know all too well. “Yeah. I- well, I wanted to apologize to you.”
You’re so startled by the words you can’t answer right away. But the split second of hesitation causes Joel to continue, looking to fill the empty space. 
“I’ve been waiting to find the right thing to say….but it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen. I’m not even sure I know where to start.” 
“Oh,” is all you can manage, still taken aback. The only thing that doesn’t surprise you about his admission is the sincerity. You could say a lot of things about Joel, but he isn’t a liar. He always tells the truth. Maybe it’s why he pulled away from you to begin with. It’s easier than the alternative – spending time with you, which would force him to be honest. For how much you’ve changed, you’d probably do the same. 
But the thing with Joel is that you’re exhausted. You’re tired of the back and forth, of the push and pull, of the constant struggle to hold your care over each other's head, hoping the other will break first. Maybe this is a fresh start. 
You step closer to him, and you see him study the way you move. Of course, you’re trying to look strong, but he can surely sense the weakness. He’d always been good at that, better than any of the others. Your hand comes to rest on the porch railing for support. 
But…..
There’s that voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you this is a mistake. The one that reminds of the pain you’ve often earned through vulnerability. It likes to think it’s served you, protected you, and it has. But it’s not always right.
“I suppose I owe you an apology, too,” you say. “At the very least I should thank you for what you did.”
Joel shakes his head, dismissively, but looks to where your hand rests on the porch railing, looks back up to you as he reaches out. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” 
His hand clasps over yours, and to anyone else, this might be nothing. It’s so innocent, unassuming. But the effect it has on you is palpable. He squeezes once, and you flip your hand over, squeezing his back, giving him a gentle smile. “I am too.” 
Joel’s eyes fill with a warmth you haven’t seen in twenty years, and your stomach flutters, your heart races. A part of yourself that you’d considered long dead seems to rouse.“Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“I told Ellie we’d go to the mess hall together,” Joel says. “Otherwise I would.”
You blink once, and Joel sees it, immediately continuing on. “But maybe Ellie and I can come another time, join you and Ethan?”
“Yeah. He’d like that,” you say. “That might be nice.” ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
-June 20, 2024-
You think that at the end of a long winter, bears must hate coming out of hibernation. 
It must suck. They spend months sleeping, doing almost nothing, and then suddenly they’re forced to function again – to hunt, to eat, to roam, to survive and socialize. You imagine there has to be a learning curve, a desire to crawl back into their den and never leave again. 
Or maybe you could be wrong, and they love it. And you’re just a wimp who hates feeling uncomfortable.
All you know is that you’re huddled in the back corner of the Tipsy Bison, nursing a whiskey – and it’s the last place you want to be. 
You’re overwhelmed. 
And despite the fact that you regularly used to attend community events, it’s been so long since you've been out in Jackson that you feel like you don’t belong. To some extent, you’ve always felt this – too hardened by the outside world to fully assimilate, especially when the town throws dances. But in the past, you at least attempted to convince yourself otherwise. 
Two weeks back, the doctors had cleared you to go about your daily activities as normal  – within reason, of course – but you hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Tonight, Ethan had accused you of becoming ‘antisocial’ and ‘reclusive’. You had agreed to attend – but only to beat those allegations. So far, you are definitely not. 
You scan the crowd, taking in the people spinning around the dance floor. Some of the women are wearing dresses. You can’t help but feel a little envious of how easily they’re able to perform femininity, which is something you’d given up on a while ago. It hadn’t exactly served you before arriving in Jackson, and you predict it would be humiliating to start trying now. After all the things you’d experienced, you were left marred with scars and wrinkles, stretch marks and loose skin. Since then, you’ve remained loyal to the combination of men’s denim and tank tops with flannel-button downs overtop. 
It doesn’t always stop the men in the community from descending like vultures. You might be the last pick – there are plenty others who are younger and prettier – but you’re still an option. Bea, your old partner, had always theorized that some men were particularly drawn to sapphic women, that it was ‘the ultimate challenge’. Maybe there is some truth to her theory, but you like men….sometimes. So there is always a part of you that yearns for their validation, for as many times as you tell yourself you don’t want it. But it never feels good to get it after you’ve watched them exhaust all their other options.
It’s pathetic, but it makes you think of Joel. He and Ellie had been over to yours and Ethans last week for a nice dinner, and you had tried to gauge whether there was any romantic connection between you still. Occasionally, you’d caught him looking at you with a wistful smile, but he could have been lost in thought. It’s not like you needed that from him or anything, but it might be useful information. After all this time, Joel is still so handsome, and probably has an impressive selection of potential partners here in Jackson – women of all ages. You hope he’s not here tonight – you can’t see much besides the dance floor at this point – because the thought of him cozied up to anyone here, combined with the acrid taste of the drink in your hand, makes you want to gag. 
You take another look around the room. Eugene, your partner in crime – quite literally – is walking towards you, which helps quell your spiraling mind . If you talk to him, say hello to Tommy and Maria, maybe Ethan will see the effort you’re making and you can sneak out without having to deal with anyone. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s worth a shot. The sooner you can get home tonight, the better.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Joel can’t stop staring. 
He knows it’s impolite. He knows that he’s not being subtle. He knows that if any other person in this bar followed his eyeline, they’d pick up on what he was doing in an instant. But every minute he doesn’t get called out for it, he becomes more and more emboldened. 
It’s the first dance he’s ever been to in Jackson, and the only reason he’s here is to placate Ellie and Tommy. But even they have abandoned him in favor of better companions – his brother is deep in conversation with Maria, sitting across from him in a booth, and Ellie is out on the dance floor dancing with one of her new friends, Dina.
Joel just can’t help himself. He still feels guilty for what he’s done, but he can’t shake the feeling of a soft hand clasped within his own – the first time he’d felt any semblance of hope since arriving here. Tommy and Maria had already slyly let him know about all the women who were interested, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain their advances. There’s only one he wants, and she won’t even look in his direction.
When he’d first noticed you, you were whispering with Eugene on the opposite side of the dance floor. According to Tommy, you spend a fair bit of your time with the old man, which Joel initially thought to mean that you had some sort of entanglement. At first, Joel thought that couldn’t be possible. But you were deep in focus as you listened to Eugene’s words, nodding and leaning in closer and closer, and Joel thinks Tommy might be right. He wants to understand what you see in this man – tall and unkempt, covered in tattoos with long, graying hair and a beard to match. But Joel catches himself in his judgment, he’s probably just as unappealing – not just because of how he’s aged, but because of how horrible he’s been to you in general. 
The next time Joel sees you, you’re at the bar, chatting with a man who Maria had introduced him to not long ago, a resident who is new in town. Joel had been too busy focusing on the fact that he’d been in Jackson long enough to not be its newest resident that he couldn’t remember his name. He wishes he had, so he could keep tabs on him. Of course, he can’t blame the man for being drawn to you – Joel knows very well that you’re hard to miss in a crowd. 
Still, Joel bristles when you both step away from the bar, and the man’s hand lands just above your sacrum. He actually finds himself tensing up, resisting the urge to intervene, because it’d likely only make you angry. Plus, maybe you are interested. That question is answered quickly when you reach behind your to clasp the man's hand and place it back at his side. Where it belongs, he thinks.
“Joel!”
He snaps his attention to what’s in front of him – interrupted, and probably for good measure, lest he get himself too worked up. Ethan approaches with a girl his age, her arm linked through his. Joel stands to greet them. 
The terse understanding between himself and Ethan while you were still in the hospital had somehow turned into a friendship, especially after they’d begun getting paired up on patrol. Ethan reaches out for Joel’s hand to dap him up, slinging an arm briefly over his shoulder.
“How’s it going, kid?” 
“Good, good,” Ethan nods, pulling back, and gestures to the girl next to him. “Joel, this is Alex.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “Ethan’s told me all about you.” 
“Really?” Joel asks, feeling a little bewildered. 
“Only good things,” Alex says quickly, as if she senses his apprehension. Ethan puts his arm around her waist. Joel recalls a few weeks back when he’d asked for advice on how to ask out a girl. Joel hadn’t pried at the time, but now he seems to understand, and is surprised by the swell of pride he feels. “Ethan says you’re a fucking badass,”she giggles after she swears.
Joel looks over at Ethan. “I don’t know about that.” 
He shrugs, changes the subject. “Since when do you come to these things?” Ethan asks.
“Ellie dragged me out,” Joel answers.
“I did the same with my aunt,” Ethan chuckles. “But now I can’t find her, and I’m pretty sure she’s escaped.”
“Oh, is she here?” Joel plays dumb, like he hasn’t been aware of exactly where you have been all night. “I haven’t seen her.”
“I think she was with Eugene earlier,” Alex has to stand on her toes to speak into Ethan’s ear. Joel watches Ethan’s nose wrinkle. 
“Do you know Eugene at all?” Ethan turns to Joel. “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on there, but she won’t say anything.” 
Joel wishes that he had more information. “Tommy says they seem close.”
“I know that,” Ethan says. “I wish she would just be honest with me. It’s not like I would be mad. Whatever,” he shakes his head. “We can talk about it another time. I just want to find her so I can introduce her to Alex.”
“We should say hi to Tommy and Maria first,” Alex says, and Ethan nods in agreement before saying goodbye to him. Joel claps a hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he moves past him, and Alex gives him a shy smile in acknowledgement. 
Focusing back on the crowd, Joel realizes that you’ve vanished in the short span of his last interaction. Maybe you’d rejected that guy, and then he’d retaliated. Maybe you’d gone home with Eugene. Joel shakes his hand. It’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to get involved. It’s not his job to look after you, regardless of how much better he feels when he does. Old instincts. He can’t help himself.
He settles on watching Ellie and Dina spin each other around on the dance floor. Eventually, Tommy and Maria, then Ethan and Alex all trickle out of the booth to go get another round or head to dance. Joel stands to release the booth to someone who actually needs it – and is left in the corner, nursing a nearly empty beer that’s now flat and warm. He looks towards his family and friends, but for some reason, he still feels alone. 
Joel isn’t sure how long he stands sulking, but he starts when someone approaches from behind.
“Having fun?”
You’re a pace or two back, one thumb hooked through a belt loop, a whiskey in your opposite hand. Joel looks back at the crowd a moment, then at the ground. “No.” 
“Neither am I,” you commiserate, stepping alongside him. 
Joel considers offering that Ethan was looking for you, but selfishly does not want to give you a reason to leave, so he stays quiet. You observe the dance floor like he is, smiling slightly at the sight of Ethan and Alex dancing. The flannel you’re wearing over a gray tank hangs loosely off one shoulder, and Joel wants to reach out and touch the exposed skin. You take your last sip of whiskey, bring a finger to swipe under your bottom lip, and Joel wishes he knew what you might taste like right now. He scolds himself for fantasizing.
You don’t speak either, and you stand in silence for a while, until you eventually pop your hip, shifting closer to him. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you’re already standing so close that your arm gets pressed up against his. Neither of you acknowledge the contact, but Joel is acutely aware of how your skin burns hot against his own. He feels comforted by the affection, even if it’s unintentional.
“Want to leave?” Joel asks, and can hardly believe that the words came out of his mouth, even if he wanted them to. 
You look over at him, not bothering to hide your surprise, but your expression evens out quickly, and you give him a single nod. “Yeah.” 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Joel’s still not convinced this is real. It feels too much like a dream, the weather outside is so pleasantly warm it feels like he’s floating as you walk down the street. He had never expected you to agree to leave with him, and now he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.
The greater distance you put between yourselves and the bar, the quieter the town is. Most of Jackson’s residents are at the dance, save for the guards at the front gate and the handful of people that had been mingling just outside.
He heads in the general direction of the neighborhood, even though he lives on a different street. 
“What are we supposed to do now?” you wonder out loud, and you sound a little incredulous, like you’re equally as shocked to find yourself beside him. The question carries a bit more weight than it would have coming from anyone else.
Joel contemplates. He’s not sure what he wants from you – there are a lot of things, actually – but he doesn’t know if he really deserves any of them. For now, your companionship is more than enough.
“You’re welcome to come back to mine,” he offers.  “But if you’re looking to keep drinking, all the booze is back at the bar.”
“I’m good.” You shake your head like you’re uninterested, but look over at him with a sparkle in your eye. “I have something better….” 
You reach into the pocket of your flannel and produce a rolled joint between two fingers, looking over your shoulder. “Those dances are usually terrible, so I always come prepared.” 
Joel can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and the sheepish grin he gets in return makes his cheeks feel warm. “Where’d you even get that?”
“You’ve never been on patrol with Eugene, have you?” you ask. “He has a place just out of town where he grows it. I’ve been helping him since we first got paired up, and in exchange, I get to sample the supply.”  
Of course. Joel would’ve never imagined that was the reason you were so close with Eugene, but it suddenly makes incredible sense. He shakes his head in a combination of relief and amusement. “You really haven’t changed.” 
“Oh, I’m sure I have,” you answer, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground. “But of course I haven’t shaken all my bad habits.”
“That’s not true,” Joel mutters.
“Well, you haven’t changed either, for as much as you’ve tried to convince me,” you nudge him gently, offering him the joint. “What do you think?” 
Joel plucks it from between your fingers and puts it between his lips. “I think I have a lighter at home.”
“Sounds perfect.” 
In the front hallway of his house, you slip out of your tennis shoes, shuffling behind him in your socks, pausing occasionally to study some of the doodles that Ellie had drawn and hung on the walls – it wasn’t exactly a priority to decorate these days, but they certainly livened up the place. He knows how much Ellie likes you, despite the fact that she doesn’t gush, but the odd comment here and there says as much. Joel remembers how difficult it had been to keep Sarah away, and Ellie now is no different. He doesn’t seem to be able to help himself, either. 
You sit next to Joel on his wicker couch, curling your feet up under you as he lights the joint and study him while he takes the first few puffs. He does it without thinking. That’s how soft Jackson has made him. Normally, he’d be too stressed about being out of his wits. But he can’t see how hypervigilance has served him since settling down. He feels safe here, and somehow especially because he’s with you. 
When he passes the joint your way, you look at him wistfully. “Old times,” you say with a grin. 
Joel nods as he exhales, coughing. “Old times.” 
“Oh yeah,” you say, as if you just remembered something. “You can’t tell Ethan about this. He doesn’t know, and he will give me shit about it. I need him to take me seriously.” 
Joel shakes his head. “Well, you know, it sounds like he and Tommy both think you and Eugene are together.”
“What?” your head jerks forward in shock, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, no. Do people think that?”
“I’m just sayin’,” Joel wants to mention how he had seen you whispering to each other at the bar earlier, but then realizes it’d give a bit too much away. “That’s what they think.”
“Well....historically speaking I might’ve liked older men…. but not that old.”
Joel purses his lips. “You’ve lived here awhile, huh?” When you nod, he continues. “Has no one caught your eye?” 
“Uhm….not really. But….” you trail off, looking into Joel’s backyard. “To be completely honest, I  don't think about that much these days. I guess I feel like I have a lot to be grateful for. I don’t want to push it.”
Joel understands, and nods pensively.
“What about you?” you ask. 
“I guess I feel the same.”
That causes you to smile a little bit, look over at him. “I bet you already know this. But the women here would line up down the block for you.”
Joel can’t help but roll his eyes, though he wonders if you would, too. Even if you did like him, that didn’t seem like your style. 
“I’m serious. I’ve heard the things they whisper behind your back. All their fantasies about you are pretty creative...”
“Fantasies?” He grimaces. He imagines none of them know anything about who he really is. You’re the closest thing, and all he’s done is hurt you. “I’m sure you were quick to set them straight.” 
“I don’t say anything,” you say, then continue on, a little quieter, looking at him from under your lashes. “I like to keep you to myself.” 
Joel isn’t sure how to respond to that. You have every right to tell all of them that you were once together, and all the ways he’s hurt you since. Yet for some reason, you’ve chosen to protect him. 
“So….all this time….” you wonder. “You had to have been with other people, right?”
Joel doesn’t think to hold back. “I had a partner for a long time. Tess. First, it was all business, I helped her smuggle things in and out of the Boston QZ…and then, I don’t know….we got along, we trusted each other and…” Joel trails off, hoping you’d put together the rest before he has to go into too much detail. “She was real fuckin’ tough. Scared me a little at first. You would’ve liked her.”
“Well, we already have one thing in common. What happened?”
“She’s the whole reason I ended up out here….with Ellie,” Joel explains. “But I lost her a little over a year ago.”
He hopes you don’t ask how. Maybe someday he’d be willing to go into detail, but talking about it generally is hard enough as it is. But fortunately, you seem to pick up on his hesitance. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you say softly.
He shakes his head. “I was an asshole. To her. I should've....after Sarah died I didn’t want to get attached, so I kept her at arms length and I... I wished I hadn’t in the end. It only made things worse.”
“Yeah,” you nod, look down. “I’ve made that mistake before.”
Joel doesn’t want to linger any longer on the memory. “What about you? Were you with anyone?”
“Uhm, yeah,” you fidget, looking uncomfortable. “I had a partner….for like ten years."
Ten years? He had been with Tess for more, but something about that information feels jarring. He’s shocked Tommy never told him this. Did Tommy even know? Suddenly, it dawns on Joel everything that could’ve happened to you since you’ve been apart. Entire lifetimes. And he’d said such horrible things when you’d fought. He remembers your face when he’d told you that you didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. Maybe you had. He’d been so cruel and inconsiderate just because he was uncomfortable. 
His throat feels tight, almost scared to learn anymore. “What…what was his name?”
“Well, Bea….was her name.” 
Joel is sure he doesn't hide the shock well. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”
“Yeah,” you say. “I don’t think I did either. Well, I sort of did, but I was too young I think when I first realized to make any sense of it, but…. I met her and…yeah,” then, you smirk. “I mean, I went to an all-girls school and I had a really bad relationship with my dad so…it definitely makes sense. ” 
Joel considers this, smiles along with you. “But anyways. Her and I met shortly after my brother died and it was kind of the same. We kept each other alive, things developed from there. We ended up getting involved with this group who lived in the middle of nowhere. That’s a whole other story, but…” you wave your hand. “I loved her, and I lost her right before Ethan and I got here.” 
Joel sees all the pain in your eyes, and wishes he could say something to take it all away. He knows he can’t. You look back out into the woods in his backyard, take a deep breath, and reach back towards the joint that you had put out not long before, lighting it again. Joel gets the sense that both of you had done the most amount of sharing possible for the time being. 
“Look at us,” you take another drag before passing it over. “Old times.”
“Old times,” he repeats, a smile working its way onto his face. 
“This used to be my favorite thing to do with you.” 
“It was nice,” Joel agrees….hesitates before continuing. “But I can think of some things I liked better.” He gives you a knowing look, and you roll your eyes, laughing easily at his joke. It feels so good to make you laugh, to see you smile. Why had he spent so much time resisting?
“Touche.” 
What happens next spills out of Joel so quickly he doesn’t think to stop it. “I tried to look for you….after all this happened. I didn’t have Sarah anymore, and I thought maybe….I don’t know. It was the only thing that kept me going for a while.”
“I did too,” you confess. “But…I was with Vincent and Ethan, and I felt like I couldn’t leave them alone for something that might just be…. I always hoped you both made it. And I’m so sorry she’s gone. I really did love her.” 
“I know you did,” Joel reaches out to take your hand. “I know. And I shouldn’t have said those things I did. I’m still not sure why you’ve been so patient with me.”
“Hmm,” you shift so that you’re closer to him. “You waited around for me back then. It’s only fair that I’d wait around for you now. I want you in my life. I don’t care what that looks like. But it’s too hard to forget about a person that you loved.” 
Joel wants as much from you as you’re willing to give, and he can’t tear his gaze away from you. But he wants you to see him, all of him, before he takes it. 
“I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve done a lot of h-horrible things,” his voice cracks, and tears well in his eyes. 
“I have, too, you know? Those things still live with me. But I think what matters is who we are now,” you reach out, fingertips brushing the scar on his temple, and Joel swears that even if you don’t know the story behind it, you can see right through him. “And I know who you are.” 
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.” 
“You won’t,” you say. “No more than anyone else has. And if it makes you feel better…when people hurt me, I’ve gotten pretty good at hurting them back.” 
“If I do, I’d hope you would.”
“I will. I promise,” your thumb strokes his cheek, marveling at him. “I would suggest a blood oath or something but….I heard we kind of already did that…”
He’s given you every warning, every barrier, and you’re still here. He can’t believe it, and he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer. “Come here.”
He kisses you. He wishes that he could be slow and tender and gentle like he used to be – and certainly he’s still capable, but he realizes that he’s been depriving himself of something he wanted for so long, and can’t seem to control himself. 
Your hands land on the side of his face, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Maybe you’re somewhat taken aback by his urgency, you hum against his lips, but you don’t resist at all. Joel maneuvers you so you’re straddling his thighs, and he grips your hips, your ass, coasts his hands up your side. Your lips part in a moan, and he slips his tongue into your mouth. 
For a while, he stays there, savors the taste of you, whiskey and smoke still lingering on your lips. His hands cup your jaw, feel your body, grip and squeeze and stroke and you let him, continue to let him. He tries everything, wondering if you’ll tell him to stop, if you’ll decide you’ve had too much, but you don’t. Then again, he should know by now that you’re a woman who knows what she wants. He just finds it’s hard to believe that he’s the thing you want.
You break away from him, just a little, and Joel presses his nose to your neck, kisses your pulse point. 
“Should we go upstairs?” your voice is raspy and breathless. “Will Ellie be home soon?” 
“Probably not for a while. We can be quick.”
“Hopefully not too quick,” you raise your eyebrows. Joel can’t help but laugh a little. He relishes in the way your hands rake up and down his arms, exploring him, touching him. Of course he wants you, but even just this would be enough. He’d be content with less, he hadn’t realized how starved of affection he’d been.
You’re able to pry yourselves off one another to make it up the stairs, and Joel guides you with a hand to the small of your back. When you get to his bedroom, he opens the door, but stops you before you go inside. 
“Hold on,” Joel mutters, winding one arm around your waist, the other behind your knee.
“Joel, what-no, you’ll–” he pulls you into his arms. 
“Do you really think I’m not strong enough?”
“I didn’t say that,” you chuckle as he carries you over the threshold and into the bedroom, breath puffing against him before he lays you down on the bed. 
When he hovers over you, your fingers wind into his hair, nails raking against his scalp. He savors every sweet sigh he’s able to pull from you, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips. You’re so pliant and open beneath his body, it makes it easier to not feel guilty about what he’s doing. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve said as much, but it might take some time before the feeling will die completely. Hopefully, he has enough time with you to see it off completely.
Clothes are removed quickly, intentionally, as you both bare more and more of yourself to each other. And while he wishes he could’ve been there to see the ways in which your body has changed, you’re still as beautiful as ever. 
Joel, however, is hesitant to give himself away completely. When you tug at the hem of his shirt, he hesitates. 
“I don’t know if-” he pauses. “If you want to see all that.”
“Joel,” you stare at him knowingly, kneeling across from him as he stands at the edge of the bed. “I do.” 
So he releases your hand, and lets you pull it over his head. Carefully, you study him, his body littered with scars. He knows he’s not as in shape as you remember. These days, he hardly can look at himself in the mirror after a shower. He expects you to be disgusted, or at least see it flit across your face before you compose yourself, but you don’t. Your fingertips drag through the smattering of hair on his chest and down his torso, tracing several prominent scars – each one with a story – but you linger on the one at his abdomen, frowning. 
He sees the question on your face, but you don’t ask it. Instead, you return to press yourself against him. “I’m so glad you’re still here….”
You kiss him, then, and Joel can only kiss you back. 
Joel isn’t the only one with battle scars. Some of them he feels are his fault, but you seem less self-concious about them, which gives him a surprising amount of confidence. Maybe it’s just a reality of what happens when you make it this long. 
When you’re finally bare beneath him, he admires how you look, stretched out and waiting, chest heaving and shivering with anticipation. He slides his hand between your legs – feels you already wet and warm, sinking two fingers inside. Your walls flutter around the intrusion, back arcing off the bed when you sigh out his name. Joel.
He’d forgotten how nice it felt to hear that. 
Joel is already thinking about what he’d like to do to you next time. He’d be more careful, more patient. He’d bury his face between your thighs to see if you tasted as good as he remembers, he’d let your fingers curl into his hair. But right now you both seem desperate for the same thing. 
He pumps his cock a few times with his hand, he can’t remember the last time he’d been this hard – the last time he’s wanted anyone this badly. Even with Tess, it had always felt like the both of them were hurrying to scratch an itch, her eyes would wander like she was thinking of other people, and maybe he was, too. 
Joel lines himself up with your slick cunt, teases you a little, and you roll your body down to meet him, gasping when his blunt head slides in – just a little. 
He can’t hold back. You practically suck him in, so tight and hot around him he finds it immediately overwhelming, but he doesn’t even think to pull out. Only when he’s fully seated inside you, and given you a chance to adjust, does he start to move. 
It’s euphoric. You’re both older now, more mature, but he still remembers all the things you liked, even if it takes a moment for him to find the spot inside you that makes you cry out, legs wrapping around his hips. 
Unlike before, you don’t bother trying to hide from him. You kiss him, hold him, touch him, look him in the eyes, tell him how good he feels – you don’t hold back. Joel relishes every word you say, clings to the praise and gives it back. Your lashes flutter when he tells you how pretty you look.
He can think of nothing else other than bringing you pleasure, can tell you’re getting close when you begin to rut against him, and he reaches down to let the pads of his fingers slide over your clit.
When you come, you whine his name, lock your lips with his own and he swallows your moans. The feeling of you so impossibly tight and wet and pulsing and squeezing him so tightly has him following closely after. 
His head is still buried in the crook of your neck when you speak again. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
The second Joel pulls out, he starts missing how close he felt to you. But you fix that by rolling over onto your stomach, curling up at his side, head on his chest, and arm across his stomach. 
“Joel. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
He’s far from it. But he’s starting to think if you say it enough, maybe he’ll start to believe it. He turns his head to kiss you gently, slowly. “So are you.” 
“We can do this again, right?” you ask. 
“Yes,” he says. “Yes, we can.”
“Good,” you settle back against him, and very slowly, he dozes off with you right beside him. He doesn’t want to sleep alone again, and luckily, he doesn’t have to. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
-December 4th, 2026-
When you return home from patrol, you find Joel in his living room – boots off and socked feet propped on the arm of the couch. You don’t notice his eyes are closed, that he’s asleep, until you get closer, see the book he’d been reading resting on his chest as he snores lightly. You can’t help but feel for him – he’s probably exhausted from constant patrols, so he must be tired. 
But mostly, you’re just overwhelmed by the love you feel for him, catching him in a quiet moment of vulnerability. Hesitantly, you reach out and squeeze his foot. It’s gentle and tender enough that he blinks his eyes open and looks around, taking in his surroundings, rather than jolting awake like he often does. When he sees you on the opposite end of the couch, he melts back into the pillow he’s propped against. 
“Hey, stud,” you lean against the arm of the couch. 
“Hey,” Joel answers, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long was I out?”
“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just got in.”
“Hmm,” Joel closes his eyes again, folds his hands across his stomach.
“You’re wearing the glasses I got you,” you point out. They’re simple. Rectangular black frames. You’d found them on patrol, and brought them home after Joel had been complaining that he could barely see when he read before bed. But he’d tried them on and insisted he hated the way they looked, so you’d ended up using them most of the time.
“They do work,” he grumbles, like he’s ashamed to admit it. “But I still think they look stupid.”
“You look like a sexy librarian,” Joel rolls his eyes, but you can tell he’s suppressing a grin. There’s always a bit of defiance about him, he can’t fully admit how you get him so flustered even after you’ve spent so much time together. You press your thumb into the arch of his foot and he groans. “That feel good?” you ask. 
“Yes.”
“Whatcha reading?” You gesture towards the book. 
“Some book about the moon landing,” Joel lifts it off of his chest, where it lay face down and open, looks at the back cover. “For Ellie.”
“How sweet.”
“It’s a little dry,” he deadpans. “But she likes this stuff.” 
You shift your massage to his other foot. Joel stretches, his arms lifting above his head, the shirt he’s wearing rides up just so, so you see a sliver of his lower belly before it disappears again, throwing an arm over his eyes. 
“Are you tired?” you ask. 
“Always,” he says through a yawn. 
“Me too,” you yawn along with him, since they’re contagious. He pulls the glasses from their perch on the bridge of his nose and shuts the book, placing them both on the coffee table in front of him. You take your hands off his feet and he sits up a little straighter, holding out his hand. 
“Come ‘ere,” he says, and you do. 
He grunts as you settle into his arms, head nestled against his chest, sprawling out almost on top of him, the only way you both can fit like this on the couch.
“You’re so warm,” you say softly, letting him wrap his arms around you. 
“You’re cold. Your hands are freezing,” he holds them in his own.
“It’s cold out.”
“Don’t know why you left today.”
“Obligations. Patrol.”
“Fuck that.”
You laugh into his chest, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I think we might be boring.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, we don’t really leave the house. We spend all day reading. And we’re old.”
“We’re not that old.”
“But we’re getting up there.”
“Sure, but…” Joel trails off. 
“Everything’s so quiet, so calm.”
“I think that’s what most people would describe as content.” 
“Are you content?” you ask, lifting your head to look him in the eyes. 
“I’m happy,” he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. “Are you?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Then don’t worry about the rest.”
“Okay,” you settle back against your husband's chest, feel his lips brush your forehead.
His fingers search absentmindedly for the ring on your finger he’d found while clearing out a pawn shop not too long ago. The one he wore looked nothing like your own. But the marriage had been long overdue, and neither of you cared what the rings actually looked like. 
Nowadays, you split your time between his place with Ellie, and your own with Ethan, but end up in his bed every night. At this point, you don’t think you could sleep without him. 
Years ago, another lifetime, you’d had a conversation underneath a sky full of stars. You’d told him that for you, good things had never lasted. Joel had made a promise. 
This will.
It took time. There was a lot of pain. But in the end, he had told you the truth.
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thecuriousquest · 4 months
Text
Everything has a Price
Bisexual & Poly Yan!TodoBakuDeku x Fem!Reader
Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs @chickennugnugnug @palesweetscherryblossom
Warnings: Yandere themes, SFW, implied kidnapping, isolation punishment, neglect, starvation, conditioning, bisexual & polyamorous TodoBakuDeku, dominant behavior, aggressive behavior, I don’t know how frostbite works
Master List
Request Rules
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You realized fairly early on how to piss off your captor’s individually and combined.
If you want to upset Izuku, all you have to do is throw a tantrum. Cry, scream, kick, throw things. But you can’t stop even when he’s trying to calm you down. You have to bite the bullet, fight your declining energy because if you give in then it won’t work. You have to wail and flinch every time he tries to touch you, console you. If you do this long enough, he’ll end up in tears of frustration and sadness because you’re sad and he doesn’t know how to make you feel better.
If you want to piss off Bakugou, all you have to do is seem disinterested in anything he has to say. Every time he kisses you, you have to kiss him back and then look him dead in the eyes and say, “I’ve had better.” If he hugs you with a little squeeze, ask him, “Are you not going to the gym as much anymore? You feel a little weaker now.” Always talk to him with a lack of excitement. It will infuriate him.
Todoroki is a different story. He’s very unique compared to your two very sensitive captors. Not a lot of things piss him off. Throwing tantrums doesn’t work, and acting disinterested in anything he has to say or show you doesn’t help because he will just shrug it off and read a book or something. No, you have to hit him where it hurts the most. You have to do this one out of the blue. You can’t be arguing with him, you can’t be having a conversation with him before you say this. While he’s watching tv, tell him, “You remind me of your father,” and then don’t follow up with an explanation.
It will eat at him. He’ll sit there, wondering what you meant. He’ll try to ask you about it, but you just shrug and go back to whatever it is you were doing. He doesn’t get any sleep that night or for the remaining nights that week. It doesn’t work if you do it too often so space it out.
This is how you individually piss them off, though. Collectively, you have to target one of them when they’re all together. Don’t show favoritism. You have to verbally berate one of them in front of all of them, and it works even better if you attack Bakugou.
Deku loves his Kachan, and Shoto is pretty defensive of his boyfriend. Now all of them are mad, and you’re feeling very smug at having riled them up.
———
However, you never expected things to turn out the way they do when you suddenly find yourself thrown into an empty shed in the dead middle of winter. Bakugou pushes you in with a nasty snarl grazing his lips. He points a stern finger at you as you cower in the corner.
“Alright, bitch, we’ve all had enough of your fucking shitty behavior! You want out? You’re gonna learn to appreciate what we give you in that house, and you won’t step foot inside until you do.”
The ash blonde slams the door shut behind him as he walks out. You hear a bunch of locks click from the outside.
So, here you are in a sweater and jeans, curled up in a corner, trying to fight off the winter air nipping at your goosebump covered flesh. You’re very grateful for your fuzzy socks. You curl your toes, hoping to gather some warmth.
You can see your own breath in the dim lighting of the shed.
The sun slips in and out of the sky over the course of two days. You’re only allowed this view because of a very small window, not one you can crawl through. You could probably only stick your hand outside if you broke it. However, you don’t need anymore problems.
Stomach growling, shivering with the frost bitten air, you bring your knees up to your chest and hide your face in the warmth of your elbow. If you hadn’t made them so angry so often, they wouldn’t have stuffed you in here. Rebuking yourself for your situation is all you can do, and it reduces you to whimpers and sniffles.
The door opens, and you see Katsuki’s boots stomp inside. He throws a bowl of rice at you. Cocking his elbow back, sending it towards your feet, and letting the plastic bowl crash. The grains spill everywhere by your sock-covered toes, but it’s the only warmth you’ve gotten over the last few days.
Before you can even say anything, the door is closing, and you can hear him stomp through the snow on the way back to the house.
Gathering up as much rice as you can, you hold it in your numb fingers, letting the steam soak into the pads of your digits. You only eat it once the food turns cold.
Bakugou, Todoroki, and Midoriya keep you like this for what you feel like is two weeks. You’ve only been able to stave off frostbite due to the warm meal you get once every two days along with the hot bottle of water thrown at you every morning. Bakugou is always the one delivering these things to you because you know if you started crying to the others, they would just bring you back inside. He never says anything to you, tuning out your pleas for mercy.
He walks inside the shed with no water or rice to give you, and you clutch your angry stomach. Katsuki tilts his head at you, analyzing you, trying to determine what’s going through your head.
“There’s a nice breakfast inside waiting for you. All warm and fresh. You want it?”
You nod, keeping your nose hidden in the crook of your elbow.
“Alright then. Beg.”
Sitting on your knees, you beg just like the explosion hero taught you.
“I’m so sorry I was bad, Master. I won’t do it ever again. I’ll be good now. I swear, I’ll be good. Please, can I go inside and eat? Please, please, Master?”
He runs his fingers through your hair, ruffling your scalp slightly. “That’s a good girl. You gonna stop pissing us off?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Come on then.” He picks you up, one arm under your back and the other under your knees. He takes you inside the house, and you feel the dramatic change in temperature instantly.
Shoto walks up to you, moving a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Breakfast is on the table, Snowflake.”
“What do you have to say to IcyHot and the nerd?”
You look down at your hands. “I’m sorry I was so bad. Thank you for letting me come back inside.”
“It’s alright, Bunny! I’m just glad you’re going to be a good girl now.” Izuku kisses you on the head, and you don’t move away from him this time.
Leaning your head on Bakugou’s chest, he takes you into the kitchen before setting you on a chair.
You begin eating, thinking about how everything has a price. Apparently, pissing them off has one as well.
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voxtechemployee · 23 hours
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what are you hcs for the v's during sex?
just like,,, general sex headcanons?? i can do that!!
✩・.VELVETTE ✩ this woman screams dominant energy - she will bottom on occasion, but even from beneath she's 100% in control ✩ this woman gets waxed completely bare and makes sure that her schedule ALWAYS lines up with having it done (she's very meticulous with her appearance) ✩ there's usually at least one sex toy involved when you both go at it ✩ f/f sex doesn't tend to go in rounds, per say, so when you two have sex, it lasts for at least two or three hours at minimum ✩ my personal hc? bisexual, but with a HEAVY preference for women
: ̗̀➛ VOX ➛ getting the obvious out of the way, he loves electrostimulation and wireplay - obviously the former on you, but the latter on himself (it only happens once you two are VERY close, though, he doesn't trust many in his wiring and for good reason) ➛ this man is a brat tamer, for sure - he enjoys when you're obedient and well-behaved, but acting out of turn every once and a while shakes things up and he loves to exert his power over you ➛ despite being friends with two of the most questionable people consent-wise in hell, he actually prefers to have your consent and won't have sex with you if you're drugged up or more than like, a drink or two deep ➛ as a true bisexual, vox views a hole as a hole - as long as he can get his dick into you somehow, that's what counts ➛ likes being called 'sir' and 'daddy', and bonus points if you call him that in front of other people
・❥・VALENTINO ♡ this man has full capabilities to get every partner he's ever been with off during sex, but it's definitely not a priority for him (he's selfish as hell) ♡ he rarely shuts up during sex and he speaks so much spanish (you're not getting out of it without calling him papi at least a dozen times lmfao) ♡ he's honestly packing - his cock cannot be shorter than eight inches and he's got some girth and a slight curve upwards ♡ despite not being one to reciprocate often, his tongue can do absolutely wicked things that will leave you in the throes of multiple orgasms ♡ he smells faintly of sex at all times, but it's never not accompanied by the scent of smoke and some kind of really nice, musky cologne
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ohtobeleah · 1 year
Text
Strictly Scandalous // TopGun
What is strictly scandalous?
✨ Strictly Scandalous ✨ is a series of strictly scandalous concepts/blurbs (18+) submitted by you, written by me.
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Bradley Bradshaw
Lieutenant Sweetheart // Roosters got a breading kink….but we all already knew that.
A for Anal // Rooster fucks your ass. You try fuck yourself
Marked Up // Rooster marks you up to the point questions are raised for your safety
CNC, Breaking // You and Bradley get a little freaky with some Consensual Non-Consent play.
Kerner // When you surprise Bradley with a weekend visit, you suck him off behind the bar at the Hard Deck.
Road Head // Giving Bradley brain in his Bronco while he ever so kindly dropped you home after a night out with the gang at the Hard Deck
Riding Seresin // Bradley decides that Jakes little sister is worth it.
Robert Floyd
Sexual Healing // After Bobs bird strike he can’t regulate his emotions, you decide you know what he needs.
Boobs // Bobs a boob man through and through.
Don’t Tempt Me // Bob is forced to finish himself off when you spend New Year’s Eve trying to get him to fuck you senseless.
Threes a crowd // Bob fucks you in front of cuckold Jake
Unicorns // Bob is blessed with the experience of a life time when you squirt on his face.
Dessert First // Bob comes home to you cooking almost naked in the kitchen
Hat Trick // Bobs favourite past time is getting you off before he’s even fucked you.
Mugged // Bob doesn’t quite know how to process how you fucked him in the shower.
WOS’s Do It Better // You have a threesome with Bob Floyd & Mickey Garcia.
Morning Mirage // You and Bob engage in an early morning sexual encounter. Slow, lazy sex.
Dagger Dinner // When tasked with the weekly Dagger Dinner, Bob Floyd gets a little too distracted by his lovely fiancée.
Hike Me // Bob takes you in a hike, but needs a mid hike fuck.
Bob the Boob man // Bobs a boob guy. Enough said.
Jake Seresin
V for Virgin // Hangman finds a bunch of Polaroids Bob has taken of you. Keeping them for himself.
Polaroid Princess // Jake manipulates the situation so he gets his own set of Polaroids and a taste at what you have to offer.
Pretty Girl // Javy overheard his best friend slamming some poor girl into his mattress over the course of a few months. That girl? You.
Submit // Jakes dominant, but for you he’ll play the game. Submitting to you in the unisex showers.
Threes A Crowd // Jake fucks you in front of cuckold Bradley
Hungman // Jake fucks your throat after throat training you.
Iris // Jake steps in to help a friend and end up stripping at a hens party.
Mama // Jake had never thought about having kids, until he thinks about having kids.
Slap Me // Jake gets jealous and in turn discovers your kink for slapping.
Hangman Head // Jake gets blowie in the car park after he spills his beer on you, only to find out he’s your TopGun Instructor.
Dicked // Jake Seresin excretes bisexual energy. So much he asked you to fuck his ass.
Hooked // Rooster questions a hook in the shower of yours and Jakes brand new home.
Mickey Garcia
Breed For This // You and your husband are trying for a third baby. A night at the Hard Deck ends in a quick try in the female bathroom.
Acrylics // enjoying your annual leave means you can get acrylic nails. Mickey has no problem with them.
Athletic Wear // You jump Mickeys bones after he picks you up from the hard deck looking all kinds so perfect and sexy in his athletic wear.
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