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#he hasnt even DONE anything
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okay wait stop. okay wait for me, okay just- (steps around my mountains of garbage and slime)
Listen we all love Malorn Ashthorn (as we fuckin' should) but I just realized. okay, just how much undeserved mess that poor blessed soul went through
Like okay think about it for a second. He's introduced early on in the first arc as Malistaire's former top student and now impromptu Death Professor at Ravenwood, okay so we all know that. But the implications man. The implications, I didn't think about the IMPLICATIONS.
He's like this 12 year old kid, okay. Already even BEFORE his official appearance in the game, imagine being a straight A student, one of the very best (to the point where it's noted and revered amongst the other professors AND your fellow students), under THE Malistaire Drake, who, even before his villain arc, was also one of the most esteemed and powerful Death professors ever. Like I couldn't even keep a C in school that shit must be wild
AND THEN. And then, your professor literally commits several war crimes, causes irreversible damage and trauma, and becomes a national criminal against.... the universe???? Like Malistaite commits heinous terrible shit, and sinks the entire Death School along with him. And then it falls to Malorn Ashthorn, once again who's like a teenager, to PICK UP THE METAPHORICAL PIECES because he had no choice. He was literally the only candidate to fill in Malistaire's place, a legend turned monster, to teach and guide GENERATIONS of new children that are HIS AGE or even OLDER THAN Malorn is.
And then the actual changes in the school. Malorn, former student, now has to learn how to become a professor with his limited knowledge of Death Magic. Like imagine filling in for the college astrophysicist teacher when you've only graduated 6th grade. He has to change his SCHEDULE, from waking up early as a student to get up and get ready even EARLIER as a professor to prepare the classes HE comes up with. Not to mention late nights grading hundreds of papers from multiple students??? AND he either is the ONLY tutor (which means more overtime and work for him, to personally help individual students with different Death lessons), or he has to actually call upon help from other students to help him get his job done.
And then there's like the relationship aspect of it. Malorn is literally just a child, like any other student, but adopting a role as a professor, an adult, means that he also has to adopt a certain mindset. Malorn literally HAS to be patient, HAS to be guiding and nurturing, HAS to be the adult in every situation in order to be a GOOD professor. Malorn has to train hard not only in magic to be ahead of the others in order to teach them properly, but has to retrain his mindset to be ABLE to handle to teach properly. Like you can't be a regular tween teaching other tweens.
And then it's just the pressure after that. The PRESSURE GUYS, of not only living up to one of the most talented and accomplished the school has ever seen, but deal with the fact that the very same person also became a tyrant and war criminal and left Malorn, his most promised student, in his place. Like I could easily imagine the rumors, the judgement, and the fear surrounding that boy, wondering if he would ever turn out to be the same as Malistaire.
No one asked for this. This soap opera I mean, nobody asked me about Malorn Ashthorn or this long ass post but I don't care because I'm crying. Girls I'm crying my entire bed is wet with tears of despair and snot. Malorn is literally a sweetie oh my God he does not, and never will deserve this shit I'm so sorry honey. Sweetie Malorn baby I'm so fuckign sorry, i'm so so sorry,
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sendmebacktonowhere · 7 months
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everyone out here trying to romance the npcs and I'm just wondering how the fuck any of these idiots except wyll managed to live this long before I met them
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vivigoesinsane · 3 months
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SHUT THE FUCK UP i already regret this. GET OUT!! (willingly playing his route)
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zzoupz · 1 year
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I just realized today is the 6th anniversary for the death of our previous king
oh yeah you know what that means
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joelletwo · 5 months
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[gintoki saying the last two lines] hey. hey. hey jesus christ this framing. good lord. takes a lap. lies down for an hour.
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horrorwebs · 6 months
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why are men literally the fucking worst
#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group#and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt#and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you#he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive.#her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like#butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there#talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying#ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL#AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things#he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like?#if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her#get away from her really#sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad +#that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no.#even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross#so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker#about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being#like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc .#dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough#also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction#is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope#up.#so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad#and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see#spikeposting#personal
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circuits-unending · 1 year
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why does the slenderverse fandom lowkey infantilize habit?
he canonically helped the n*zis, ripped a baby out of a woman and then ate it, kidnapped, tortured and killed multiple people, and kept vinny in a fucking pocket dimension ass apartment for what, 2 years?
"Habit did nothing wrong!" baby EVAN did nothing wrong. Habit ATE A BABBBYYYYYYY
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grimbeak · 6 months
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following the kevin tag is always really interesting bc you get people who have just listened to triptych being like oh this is really interesting for kevins character. it's neat to see him in a different light and how he and cecil could have been friends before strex. and then you get people who have just hit the sandstorm being like WTF??? who is this freak??? where's my cecil i fucking hate this guy with all my life i hope he dies in a pit of flame. and its like. chill babe calm down its okay cecils fine you havent even heard kevin cum yet you can hate him then
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thedevotionaltour · 2 months
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still always thinking about and giggling about how that person said me and op should just go on a date with rex smith since we're riding his dick and like him so much and it's like first i don't know how to tell you that outside of you're dickriding far harder than i am. second i would also prefer to go on a date and have sex with 80s rex smith than i would even want to be in the vicinity of charlie c.ox with any remote chance of making vaguely interested eye contact like idk what to tell you. im sorry i talk about this every few weeks i just remember it and it's funny. this is no insult to me idk i'll go be a cowgirl for him as matt
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semercury · 3 months
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Idk. Wine tipsy post for the night is that I just really love Leon. Truly a load bearing blorbo.
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bangcakes · 10 days
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soopysoap · 22 days
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what i have learned since following nara smith on tik tok: she is an angel, she deserves the world, lucky is on thin ice
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dotycloud · 1 month
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trupowieszcz · 2 years
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anglo people please recommend me niche books you've read at ages 10-14 and i mean niche like i wont find them in nostalgia starter pack posts or whatever
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dittolicous · 4 months
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The funny part is that Koby ismt even a "good marine" he's part of the illegal SWORD group that does wild secret shit and actively works to change the marines lmao
IN KOBY WE TRUST
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garlique · 4 months
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god oh my god this sucks so fucking much, i knew today would be the worst day so far but holy fucking shit i truly just wish i was fucking dead!!
#i have a job interview tomorrow and there was ONE THING that i needed to do this weekend to prepare for it#and we were both going through withdrawals so badly that i DIDNT FUCKING DO IT#im literally just so angry at myself and at everything else in the world and i've been so fucking mean to the cats today and i hate myself#about it#i dont even WANT to go to the fucking interview tomorrow i just want to kill myself and cry and die and fucking give up on it all#this sucks so fucking badly oh my fucking god and i would bet you all like 500 fucking dollars#that ethan relapses on it today while he's at work and comes home fucking STINKING and making it worse for me#YET AGAIN#oh my god im so fucking angry im so fucking angry i just wanna scream and punch and throw and smash#AND I JUST HAVE TO KEEP IT ALL LOCKED UP INSIDE ME THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION NO FUCING OPTIONS NO CHOICES NOTHING#there will never be anything for me in this life and i dont know why i've been pretending otherwise#GOD it hasnt even been 72 hours yet can i please just be done#can i please find the first man who smoked tobacco and mass marketed it#AND FUCKING STRANGLE HIM TO DEATH????????????#im gonna kill and cry and die and hate my life my self my everything#ive just been crying so many fucking angry tears#like i'll be so angry and when it does come out it comes as tears and i personally???? hate that shit so much#makes me feel so fucking weak#fuck everybody fuck god fuck nice people fuck mean people fuck the normalizing of horrible drugs fuck addiction and fuck myself#just gotta keep telling myself i dont need it
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