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x-ladyathena-x · 3 years

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Who We Were

(also on my AO3 & Wattpad under the name: Grey_Eyed_Athena)

Warnings: Smut, like dirty smut. Don’t read if you’re under 18. Angst, some fluff, enemies to lovers

Bucky x Reader

Word count: 2460

Summary: (one shot) You're an employee at Captain America's family fishing business. When a handsome stranger with a metal arm appears out of the blue, tensions rise.

You were a mutant working for Captain America’s family fishing business. It was a slow day today in the marina store, you hadn’t had a customer in hours. So, you sat with your feet propped up on the counter, reading from an old magazine with crinkled pages.

“Ahem,” a deep voice cleared their throat to get your attention.

You peered over the top of your magazine slightly annoyed.

“I’m looking for Sam Wilson.”

The man was tall, with short dark hair, and tragedy etched into every line of his beautiful face. The type of look people get when they’ve seen horrible things that they’ll never truly be free of.

He looked familiar but you couldn’t quite place him until you noticed his arm. At first, you thought it was a dark compression sleeve, but now you realized that this was the Winter Soldier you were talking to.

You called Sam on the phone, “Hey, Boss, there’s an Avenger here to see you.”

Sam groaned on the other end of the phone, “Which one?”

You didn’t know if it would be rude to call the man in front of you Winter Soldier to his face. That was the name Hydra gave him.

“The quiet one with the metal arm.”

Sam groaned again, “Bring him down.”

You hung up the phone and turned back to the man, “Follow me.”

The two of you walked past the register and into the back hallway. At the end of the hall, you both squeezed into a small service elevator that led to the lower levels. Sam liked to keep his office out of plain sight.

Inside the elevator, the two of you were nearly touching shoulders. It was a little awkward, so you decided to make small talk.

“How did you lose your arm?”

In truth, you didn’t know. You knew exactly who this man was but nothing much about him. You knew he’d renounced Hydra, joined the Avengers and fought Thanos. Everything that could be read in the media.

You, yourself, were one of the lucky?—or unlucky few who were not snapped and left to wander the earth in confusion and fear.

He ignored your question.

The elevator dinged open and the two of you stepped out.

“It’s pretty, your arm. The black and gold.”

He didn’t say anything, just glanced at you.

“What brings you here Mr. Barnes?”

“Bucky,” he corrected you.

“Oh, that’s right. Sorry. That’s what Captain America called you, right? That’s what Steve Rod—”

He slammed you up against the wall, holding you by the neck with his metal arm, “Do not ever mention that name to me.”

At first, you were scared, shocked even, but then you got mad. You slipped your foot behind his heel and knock him off balance. He wasn’t expecting it.

He fell flat on his back and you crouched over him with a fist full of his shirt, and got down in his face, nose to nose, “You ever do that again and we’re gonna have a problem, okay?”

He nodded with resignation.

You patted him roughly on the cheek, “Good, now come on,” You got up off him and began walking away, “The boss’s office is right up here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The woman was strong, he’d give her that. He supposed that he should feel bad that he grabbed her like that, but when she said Steve’s name, he just—he couldn’t think about him right now. Thinking about his old friend made him go to a dark place. He couldn’t blame Steve for what he did, where he went. After an entire lifetime of being the most selfless, self-sacrificing human alive, he deserved to make a selfish decision for himself. It still hurt though. The only person that ever loved him for who he was—was gone. And hearing his best friend’s name come out of the mouth of someone like her? Well, what did she know? She didn’t deserve to speak his name.

She showed him Sam’s office and turned to leave without another word. Bucky watched her walk away as he stood at Sam’s office door. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but admire her (your body type) body as she walked away.

“You’re drooling, Buck.”

Bucky snapped out of his daze to see Sam Wilson smirking at him from inside the office. His red, white, and blue vibranium shield displayed proudly on the wall.

“Good to see you, Cap,” Bucky smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat back in your chair up front. It was a quiet day, the off season. Not many people coming in to buy bait and tackle. As you tried to go back to reading your magazine, your fingers trailed over the place on your neck the Winter Soldier’s fingers had wrapped around.

You say Winter Soldier, because the eyes that were looking back at you as he had you pinned against the wall were not those of Bucky Barnes.

A shiver ran over you and you couldn’t help but press your legs together.

You thought about the cold metal. The whirring noise the plates made as they locked into place. The scent coming off him—he smelled like a cold winter’s night. Like pine and wood smoke.

You shook your head. Get a grip y/n. You still stood by what you told him down there. If he got aggressive with you again, the two of you would have a problem.

Maybe you wanted a problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, what brings you here, Buck?” Sam asked the man seated across from him.

“Mutants,” Bucky said gravely, “Hydra sleeper cells that still believe in the cause, lying in wait. I was just in Prague last week and got attacked by two of them. At first, I thought super soldiers, but no, they had abilities.”

Sam sighed, “Well, you’re not gonna like what I’m about to tell you, then.”

Sam launched into the story of how he was in Europe a month ago, helping investigate odd claims. That’s when he learned of the mutants. While there were many that operated as Bucky described, the majority were refugees, seeking asylum from those that would use them for their powers. Not unlike their friend Wanda and what Hydra did to her.

“That’s when I met y/n.” Sam said.

Bucky’s blood ran cold at the thought of the woman upstairs, “How do you know she’s not a sleeper?”

“Because I trust her,” Sam told him, “There’s still good in people in the world, Buck. Even if you don’t see it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were dreaming tonight. Dreaming of the man with the metal arm. The Winter Soldier. Bucky. Dreaming of the way he smelled. Dreaming of his weight on top of you—wait.

You awoke with a jolt to find Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier pinning you down into your mattress with a knife against your throat.

In your panic, you moved with strength not previously explored. Your hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling the knife away from your neck. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you used the leverage to flip him over.

He was a large man. Burly and heavily muscled with broad shoulders, thick arms, and even thicker thighs. But your mutant strength, along with your adrenaline-fueled panic allowed you to flip him with ease.

You now sat atop him, straddling his waist. The knife in your hand, holding it to his throat.

He looked shocked. There was also something else in his eyes you couldn’t quite place. Not the Winter Soldier, but a darkness that didn’t pass unnoticed by you.

He licked his lips, “Well, now that you have me where you want me, what will you do?”

You pressed the knife harder into his throat, “Why are you in my room?”

“Trying to kill you, I thought that was obvious,” He said with a husky deepness in his voice.

You scoffed, “Good job,” and shifted your weight. You couldn’t help but feel the stiffness in his pants pressing through your thin pajamas.

He knew you felt him because he added, “I may not be able to control how my body reacts to you, but that doesn’t change anything.”

Taking advantage of your distraction and with lightning speed, he flipped the two of you back over again.

“I’m still going to kill you,” he whispered in your ear, “I recognized you the moment I saw you today.”

Your body stiffened. No. That was a long time ago. You weren’t that person anymore, and neither was he.

You’d worked with the Winter Soldier years ago, once on a mission when you both worked for Hydra. He was brainwashed into doing what he did and you supposed you were too. Hydra convinced you that you were doing the right thing. And you thought you were, until you weren’t.

Years of trying to escape until you ran into Captain America. Sam Wilson was the only person to help you, to believe you. He’d helped so much. He got you out of there, helped you start a new life.

You may have changed, but you could see that your chemistry with the Soldat hadn’t. On the mission you worked together, all those years ago, you ended up snowed into the safe house until the next morning. The memory of tangled limbs, sweating bodies, nips, kisses, and screams of ecstasy made you shiver.

You were surprised that the man on top of you even remembered you. Hydra wiped his mind so many times.

“So, you do remember me,” You quipped, at the mercy of his knife’s razor edge.

“Doll, I remember everything,” He growled.

You ground your hips against him, “Even this?”

His eyes fluttered shut as he released a shaky breath, “Yes, especially that.”

His body stilled; he was hesitating. He swallowed hard and threw the knife with all his strength. It plunged to the hilt into the opposite wall with a solid thud.

You lunged for each other at the same time. His lips crashed into yours like a starving man and you fed him graciously.

Your fingers tangled in his short hair as he threaded his metal arm under your body to pull you closer.

He ground into you; his erection painfully obvious now. He pulled away from you for just a moment. Just long enough to help you remove your pajamas and allow you to help him remove his clothing.

Bucky trailed a finger over the front of your black lace thong, down the front and to the strip between your legs. You gasped at the feather light sensations.

Bucky bit his lip, “You’re so fucking wet, Doll.”

In one motion, he tore the panties from your body and dove down between your legs.

You gasped at his sudden movement and rested both legs on his shoulders and tangled your hand in his dark hair as you lost yourself in the sensation.

He ate greedily. You could feel every soft lick, suckle, and kiss. Every second brought you closer to the edge. You were about to—

“Bucky!” You screamed, riding out the wave of pleasure washing over you like a warm breeze.

As soon as you came down from your high, you saw him sitting up, licking his lips.

“I missed your sweet taste, Doll.”

Your breath caught under his hungry gaze. Your eyes trailed down until they landed on him. Every inch of him. You reached out and began to pump.

He closed his eyes and his breath shuddered, “Get on your belly for me.”

You obliged his request with enthusiasm. Opening your legs and lifting your butt ever so slightly into the air. You looked over your shoulder at him as you felt him against your soaking wet core. He crawled on top of you and kissed your shoulder.

“Ready?” He asked tentatively.

You grabbed his thigh with the hand you weren’t using to prop yourself up and shoved him inside you.

The two of you gasped.

His pumps went from slow and sensual, to needy and fast. He snapped into you with a desire that made your second orgasm crash over you before you knew it was upon you.

The feel of your orgasm fluttering around him spurred him on harder. He wrapped his metal arm under your chest and rested the hand lightly on your neck and he pulled your body in closer to his, his face buried in the crook of your neck and the flesh arm wrapped tightly around your waist like he was fearful you’d disappear.

He fucked you like his life depended on it. With desperation and need. And you melted into him as if he were the only thing that was real in this world.

You could feel his thrusts getting shorter, he was about to come. And so were you. Your third orgasm is what pushed him over the edge. You both cried out in unison as you felt him empty inside you.

He continued pumping until you rode out your orgasm. He stayed inside you as he trailed kisses over your shoulder and down your back, catching his breath.

You felt him twitch inside you and he began pumping again. You moaned and cried out nonsensical words as he thrust into you again. Lost in the depths of your own pleasure and the way he made you feel, you didn’t even realize he was coming again until his body collapsed onto yours.

You rolled over to face him, and the sight broke your heart. His face looked sad and worn. Tired.

He buried his face in your chest and you held him, stroking your fingers though his soft hair.

The two of you stayed like that for a long time until he leaned up and kissed you.

“I’m sorry,” He said.

“I’m sorry too. I’m not that person anymore,” You said to him.

He pressed his forehead to yours, “I guess neither of us are.”

You let your fingers trail through his soft curls, “What made you drop the knife?”

Bucky sighed, “Like I said, I recognized you immediately. Sam said I could trust you, but I was still skeptical. Then when I came in here, the Soldat recognized you and I couldn’t..”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“He’s me, and I’m him. I can control him, he doesn’t take control of my body anymore, but I can still feel his influence. He recognized you, and once he did, I couldn’t control my reaction—didn’t want to, because I also remembered.”

He stopped and swallowed hard and you felt him stiffen again against your leg.

“Bucky,” You laughed and kissed him, “You’re gonna be the end of me.”

Super soldiers…

He laughed too as he went in for another kiss, rolling on top of you, “Doll, you have no idea.”

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #enemies to lovers #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #Winter Soldier #the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #choking #knifes #soldat

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lettertothedead · 5 years

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To Me, if I Succeeded

It was a bitter cold October in an unheated apartment at the corner of Ramsey and Kathleen. Snow had arrived before Halloween this year, something that you were informed was quite common in Northern Idaho. If not for their warnings, you wouldn’t have expected it. Like always, you were a newcomer to this town. You had no expectations and you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Like a discarded doll, you had let them place you here. You were seventeen years old.

The last four years had been spent in and out of rehabilitation, traveling through Utah, Texas, and California. Perhaps that's why time meant so little to you, and space even less. While most teenage girls took this particular span of time to experiment with identity, you had never really gotten the chance to create your own. You had spent the entirety of high school as a traveler, always the new girl in every school, thoroughly examined by your peers until diagnosed as normal. You had learned to act, had learned to be quiet and pliable. You were a passive bystander to your own life.

Of course, the implication of having a life never fit on you either. You spent high school in a variety of different houses, apartments, and wards, but you never had a home. A home implied a seat by the fireplace, family game nights, petty quarrels with your brothers and sister. By the age of sixteen, you forgot what your parents looked like between their visits. You saw them once a year, if that, the imprint of those visits on your psychology lessening every time. One day, you realized that you had not been raised by your parents, or anyone. You had simply sprouted. You were a weed.

For the brief time you spent in psychiatric care in Texas, between guardians, you were allowed a ten minute phone call with each of your siblings. It struck you then, how gentle they were with you, as if they had been told you were fine china or a feral dog. They didn’t prod you or tease you over the phone, they simply talked in slow, quiet voices. This was your identity.

At the turn of the nineteenth century, at the advent of tools like the bicycle, the telephone, the camera and the expansion of the railway, the meaning of time and space shifted. It rattled in its grave before dying entirely, taking Europe with it. It was beautiful, they said, an Englishman could travel to the continent in mere seconds by telephone call. His world suddenly stretched around empty space, light and color blinding him from all angles. The fierce white Russian winters, hot red Spanish summers. Things that the masses could have only shaped with the written word and imagination became vivid reality.

Humans, confused and frightened in shoes too big to fill, stuffed the void where space and time had once been defined with war. I remember sitting in my Modern Poetry lecture in college learning so much about the human impact of such inventions, through the eyes of other writers. I was effectively wearing the skin of Walt Whitman looking out on bountiful, diverse America in all of her hopeful, brutal glory. I remember reading old poetry zines, published in 1919. War, having squashed creatives under his angry boots, milked them for their lifeblood. That’s what we get for trying to play God, by the way, a lot of dead people and some really great writing to add to the portfolio of human suffering.

In the 21st century, narrowness does not exist. Our minds have been stretched so far around space and time that they are aching. The only cavities still left full are the locked perspectives of our neighbors and the vein-like missed opportunities that twist out of our past selves. And we are still probing them. I don’t believe objective truth comes when all space and time has been shed like lizard skin. I want to hold onto something concrete and grounded, even though I know you never believed in it. I hold on so tightly to God, using words I think you can understand to describe his majesty. Then again, you were always cynical.

In a 1952 Dublin lecture hall, Erwin Schrödinger told the crowd that, mathematically, they were inconsequential. He said that the suspension of different histories, the possibility of different realities, were "not alternatives, but all really happen simultaneously". He warned the listeners that this was lunacy and I believe he was right. I know you would think of me as a zealot for believing that some stones should not be turned over, but God’s shoes are too large for you, and me, and Dr. Schrödinger. Then again, you never went to college.

Here’s a laundry list of things you never did. You never looked in the mirror and saw a woman. You never pulled your own strings. You never sat passenger while Tyler drove you to the Safeway parking lot, talking God, and life, and love over cigarettes and The Pixies. You never quit smoking. You never fell in love with anything but yourself, and her reflection in other women. You never learned how to stop being a pendulum between love and hate, happiness and sadness, chest-tightening fear and total calm and by that, I mean you never conquered addiction. You never had the confidence to publish your poetry. You never fell into another person and had them bear your entire weight without faltering, like you would do for them. You never walked down the aisle wearing your mother’s dress and watching your father cry with joy. You never forgave your parents for fucking you up, and you never let them forgive themselves. You never lived to see eighteen.

The crinkled leaves make me wistful and leave me wanting. I live here still, not because of someone placing me, but because I love it. I wouldn’t want to leave. Last year, I graduated college and this year, I’m going to get married. The snow hasn’t fallen yet and it’s already January, but I suspect that has more to do with climate change than divine providence.

My savior was a girl I’ll likely never see again, and I don’t even see her as my savior. She was the Anyman, the good Samaritan. The weight of savior is too heavy for a stranger so instead I am just grateful that time and space lined up to help me, despite the fact that I had forsaken them.

On the ride to the hospital, my vision was blurred, I was slipping in and out of consciousness, humming to the radio under my breath. I could feel myself dying, the pills aching in my stomach as my head knocked against the window. I crashed into the threshold. The driver kept trying to make conversation desperately, bless his heart, trying to keep me with him as he sped past fast food restaurants and neon, the landmarks of this physical body. The radio was loud. I still listen to that station sometimes.

Once I was there, they put tubes in my body and fed me charcoal. I remember thinking vaguely that I had ruined my nicest panties when I shat black and vomited black on my winter coat. It didn’t cross my mind until later how funny such a thought is, when you’re dying, and you’re only thinking about your name brand underwear, the only pair of name brand underwear you own. In the psych ward, I watched Signs on VHS no less than three times as I tried to drown out the screaming child with schizophrenia. I missed the adult ward by a month.

You never lived to see eighteen. You never lived to meet your best friend or the love of your life, to travel to Prague as I did last summer, and stand on the edge of a Tesco cart, picking out cheese that only cost a few cents. You never lived to grow old, to remake the construct of family and home, build a fireplace with your bare hands and prove you are more than fine china. Somewhere inside of your rotting corpse, there lives a dragon. You never lived to get it out. To hell with the other timelines, I am a dragon and I’m here to burn them down.

Some choose to worship the emptiness, the stretch of free will that enables us to bomb or run or smoke or scream at the top of our lungs that we are the highest power in the world. Some worship the erosion of consciousness and meaning that comes with a many-tiered reality, a multiverse where simultaneously, I am you and me, dead and alive, free and in chains. There is no right or wrong in this fog and snow, there is no meaning in this endless winter.

I worship the unknown, the workings of time and space that pushed together so that she would find me lying half-dead on the bed, fingers loosely wrapped around a bottle of pills. So call me a zealot, I am worshiping my purpose. I am paying back this mortgage on my tiny inconsequential life, with every shred of hallelujah. I am relishing my existence.

#long post #suicide tw #creative nonfiction #writers on tumblr

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nikatyler · 5 years

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Long time no replies. Yeah. Last week, I couldn’t do them on Sunday. I couldn’t do them on Monday either because I was in Prague all day and got back home at midnight. I thought I’d do them on Tuesday but then I didn’t feel like it, and then there was school stuff and other stuff and yeah here we are, it’s another Sunday. I don’t think anyone cares that much though :D

I’ve been working on Rose Legacy all weekend. It’s been so much fun. Right now, I’m halfway through the first part of it, the part that’s focused on quadruplets. I had a phase a few days ago, I was thinking about switching to ts3 again and I felt like I didn’t actually want to do it for some reason. Probably because I’ve been posting ts4 for months now and switching games after such a long time has always been kinda weird. It was always the other way around though - I posted more ts3 and less ts4. Eh, you don’t care :D Now I’m excited for posting that legacy again. I still think of them as of my “mascots” to be honest, they’ve been here since before I had a simblr. Anyway, January 2019. Roses are back. It’s gonna be great. I hope.

Another thing no one cares about, it snowed for the first time today and it hasn’t melted yet. I’m so happy. I'm like a child when it comes to this, really.

elisabettasims replied to your photo “create-a-sim replied to your photo “When you’re reading this, it’s...”

One of my fondest high school memories is of my prom night. I'm glad yours was awesome, too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “create-a-sim replied to your photo “When you’re reading this, it’s...”

Oh, I remember my prom, it was maybe th esecond coolest memory of school! Now I sometimes look back at it and feel nostalgious (less than half a year passed, yo). Glad, you enjoyed yours, too<3

It’s been two weeks and I’m still thinking about it. It has really been the best thing about high school so far, and I doubt anything will top it. We finally got the video of the prom on Friday. I haven’t been able to watch it but I hope it’s good :D

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “I didn’t know December now runs a gardening Instagram account.”

Only the coolest grandmas have gardening Instagram accounts :P

Truuuu

I helped my grandma start a Pinterest account but I wonder what it would be like if she joined Instagram as well :D

andruskysworld replied to your photoset

Cute cat ��

She really is cute! I didn’t even edit her that much, aside from the colours of course. I might have changed her fur too, but I’m not sure about that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Alright mum, I’ll have to go now. Look after Sunset, okay?”...”

//Ross//, buddy, pal, you gotta do something with her, even if it means watching some cartoons here and there

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Alright mum, I’ll have to go now. Look after Sunset, okay?”...”

Argh! He's so frustrating!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ross: “Alright mum, I’ll have to go now. Look after Sunset, okay?”...”

ROOOSSS!!!

December. it`s time to use handcuffs to chain Ross to his daughter

Yeah. But it’s gonna get better I promise. At this point I think it’s kinda showing...it’s baby steps but he’s gonna get there somehow I promise. Not saying he’ll be the ideal dad but you know. He won’t be the worst one. Have faith in him :D

simmering-pancakes replied to your photoset “Bella: “But…dead people can’t vote.” Ross: “They will be allowed to...”

�� This makes me so happy.

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Bella: “But…dead people can’t vote.” Ross: “They will be allowed to...”

*rides in on skateboard* "HEY YALL I THINK GHOSTS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO VOTE!!!"

I find it funny that he was able to ask a ghost for a vote. Also imagine if this was possible irl. It’s kinda scary actually :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Good luck at school!”

to cute for me to handle

I knooooooow

damn these Breeze genes will be the death of me

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Things are going great. Really great.”

Except for... maybe... your daughter?

He cares about his success at work more than he cares about his daughter. *shrugs*

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Pass the happy �� When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you...”

A big YES to the pointless edits!

What could be more entertaining when everything else is boringXD

Exactly! And also, I’m often like “okay I’m just gonna take a look at all these pictures I’ve taken today and then I’ll go to bed” and then oops, I’m editing one and doing all sorts of stuff and oops, it’s midnight and I know I’ll be dead the next day. Pointless edits are one of the reasons why I don’t get enough sleep, basically.

Btw guys, here’s my HUGE folder of screenshots waiting to be edited in case you’re ever bored :D

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “My sister got a letter today. She’s gonna go to uni.” Caleb:...”

I swear, Ross, if you don't stop forgetting your daughter ... also, I hope he rejects you.

melien replied to your photoset “Ross: “My sister got a letter today. She’s gonna go to uni.” Caleb:...”

Lmao seconded Caleb deserves better

Do you ever see an absolutely terrible person, but somehow everything turns out right for them and you’re just hoping for karma to hit them in the face but instead they keep getting things they don’t deserve? Ross is that kind of person.

Also, love how everyone turned from “yasss we ship Ross and Caleb” to “oh no poor Caleb we must protect him from the evil that is Ross” lmao

melien replied to your photoset

Persephone is now easily my favourite character in this legacy

She was mine too and then someone else entered. Find out tomorrow :D

melien replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Are you feeling a little unwell, brother? Is Sunset...”

After all he's ever done I can't help but hope he has the worst indigestion issues ever

He was sick many times so maybe karma did hit him in the face a little bit

melien replied to your photoset “Look Ross. You’ve made mistakes and we all know that. We all hate you...”

I guess Claret hates him too

Aww yes I’m here for that

Also Bianca. Back in 2016 Bianca liked setting things on fire. Good old times.

God, Bianca would hate him so much. That argument she had with Tyler in chapter 3? It would be three time worse if she had to fight with Ross. She’d probably actually fight him.

melien replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful.”

Can I adopt her

Too late I adopted her first

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “It’s happening. It’s really happening! I can’t believe it. Do I even...”

Yeah but he doesn't deserve it. I also know the rules of this generation so, LOL

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “It’s happening. It’s really happening! I can’t believe it. Do I even...”

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

Yeah. i was waiting for it, but... I somehow feel, like Caleb deserves better, much better. And I wouldn`t be surprised if Caleb would leave Ross this will serve him right

I still was waiting for this kiss, but it`s kinda... bittersweet?

jackssims replied to your photoset “It’s happening. It’s really happening! I can’t believe it. Do I even...”

I'm very happy with this but also very conflicted (more or less for the reasons the others described in their comments)

Can I just say I’m glad it came off like this. Bittersweet. I kind of wanted that, to be honest. Not in the “yasss I’ll make my followers cry I’m so evil hahaha” way though. Idk it’s hard to explain.

It’s different from other legacy couples, in my opinion, and I’m here for that. It’s kinda refreshing. I mean, usually people love the heir, love their spouse, want them to get together. This one? This one is something else.

I’m not saying I’m gonna make all my heirs assholes from now on, don’t get me wrong. But it was fun to try something new :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Breeze, Valentine - the better half of the breeze siblings - too pure...”

somehow i managed to miss so much! she1s beautiful!

Thank you! I had so much fun dressing her up for this.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Me when my otp becomes canon”

Big Mood

Yeah. But also this is really how my otps make me feel

Btw, at this point they definitely weren’t my otp just yet. Like I was kinda obsessed with them, but I wouldn’t call them my otp.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “December: “Wait, no! You can’t just beat me like this! Ugh.” Sunset:...”

Caleb is a cinnamon roll and should be protected at all costs.

Y E S

jackssims replied to your photoset “December: “Wait, no! You can’t just beat me like this! Ugh.” Sunset:...”

December isn’t wrong here tbh

If only she had admitted that earlier

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “When I opened the game again, the girls came home from school for some...”

Is it a holiday? When there are holidays in game, there was a bug where, if you had a loading screen for any reason (even CAS) sims would come home from work and school.

Nope, it was a regular day. Still a better bug than the current one :/ I thought I’d start playing gen 3 but I don’t want my sims to age up when I enter CAS. I know there’s a fix for it now, I’ll probably look into it tomorrow.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “this shouldn’t be funny to me but it is funny to me help”

NOOOOOO. Also dying sims are so dramatic.

Oh yes. I think I prefer the dying animation in ts3, where they just sort of turn into ghost. The ts4 animation might be more realistic, but the ts3 one is just...beautiful, in a way. Sad but beautiful.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Nooo, December! Hold on just a little longer, don’t forget what you...”

:((((

jackssims replied to your photoset “Nooo, December! Hold on just a little longer, don’t forget what you...”

NOOOOO :((

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “W-what?! No…wait a second Grim, I’m sure she’s just unconscious…right...”

(((

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Nooo, December! Hold on just a little longer, don’t forget what you...”

I really didn’t expect her to die that day. I had PLANS. And she ruined them.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “No. No. That can’t be real.”

This is only the second time I've felt bad for Ross. :(

It was bad, but at least it opened his eyes and made him realize that he has to be there for his daughter or else she’d have no one. More on that below.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “23rd March 2018 - 5th July 2018 It’s been months and I’m still sad...”

December was an awesome character.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “23rd March 2018 - 5th July 2018 It’s been months and I’m still sad...”

Farewell, December, you were great!

She was ;-;

Also isn’t it sad that her name is December but she didn’t live to see the month of December?

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Hey…hey, Sun. Look at me. Everything is going to be alright,...”

We’ll all be holding you to those promises, Ross (but in all honesty this is a touching moment)

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Hey…hey, Sun. Look at me. Everything is going to be alright,...”

Awwww. Ross, I hope this keeps improving!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ross: “Hey…hey, Sun. Look at me. Everything is going to be alright,...”

You better Do fix this, Ross!

This, for me, was also very bittersweet. Because it’s awesome that he finally realized he has to be there for her, and it’s great that he finally cares, yay character development...but December had to die for him to realize. That sucks.

I have to say something else here...at this point, you’d think I would make them interact more. I didn’t really. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. So really, who’s the bad person here? I’d just like to say that from here on, they were closer, they spent more time together, even if I somehow didn’t show it. Past me, you’re stupid, this was such a big part and you ruined it.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Too bad I can’t keep you forever, Kitty. But I’m sure you’ll have fun...”

Persephone: Someone please help!

Persephone:

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “Village Vibes I finished furnishing this house the day I had my prom...”

SUPER CUTE!!!!

Thank you thank you thank you ♥ I had so much fun building this house.

unbridledsims replied to your post “9, 15, 19 for Valentine or any character you would like to share for....”

Thank you for sharing hun. It was nice getting to know her. I like that you did all the questions, very nice.

Thank you for asking! I love her and it was fun to answer this.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ross: “No pets allowed. Persephone was the only exception.” Sunset:...”

Because Ross is self-centered and doesn't understand how to take care of another living being :D Any pet he had would starve to death or something.

Yeah, maybe he doesn’t want a pet because he knows he’d be so bad at taking care of it :D Maybe he has a good reason for once. Well, not exactly good, but you know what I mean.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “In the morning, he decided to plant a plasma fruit tree in front of...”

The Sims - the only place where the combination "vampire" and "vegetarian" does make sense ��

Now that I think about it, I’ve never actually played with a vampire that has the Vegetarian trait. Oooh. I should. Or maybe I could replace one of Caleb’s traits and see what it does. Doesn’t he have the Foodie trait? Makes no sense to me but ok ea. I know he’s the good vampire and all that but still.

#replies #elisabettasims #tiny-tany-thaanos #simlovinggirl #andruskysworld #jackssims #simmering-pancakes #whysimstho #melien #alfalfalegacy #justkeeponsimming #unbridledsims

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lumos-star684 · 7 years

Note

All of them. Just to be a pain

Can’t believe I’m about to answer these but its either this or a marketing assignment so here goes…

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

blank revision cards and raffle tickets

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

white with sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

yes

6: do you keep plants?

non but i would like to (in fact, I’m going to buy one next week)

7: do you name your plants?

nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

none im not very creative :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yep

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side or stomach usually

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

hmmm can’t think of this (wait you should know this any idea?)

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Pluto

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

my little niece started talking to me about flying pigs

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

like the friends apartment with loads of little quirky shit

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Venus is the only planet that spins backwards relative to the other planets.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

good ole simple pasta with tomato sauce and cheese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

dark purple

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i have no stories omg

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

non

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

don’t have one in particular, depends on the person really

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

there was my little karrimor rucksack that i had all throughout (most of ) secondary school and it broke on the day before the last day of Year 11 but still holds a special place in my heart

22: are you a morning person?

nooooooooo (unless its morning where you’ve been up all night)

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

make tea and watch tv

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

nope (i don’t have a lot of secrets though??)

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

a hotel kitchen (by accident i should add)

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

at the moment, my black boots

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

mint?? idek

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

there’s this one little shit that always sends me asks on tumblr

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about sock

socks, my friend, are a fucking brilliant invention. i have a bit of love-hate relationship with socks because i feel like they confine your feet (i mean why would you want to lock your feet into little pockets of cloth?) but on the other hand THEY’RE SO CUTE. little socks with funky patterns and little animals and the super soft house socks as well. having said that, all my socks are black with either pink purple or blue on the foot and heel parts. SO, my favourite thing to do is always wear mismatched socks - but nobody can tell because the main part of the sock is black. It’s like a little secret I can wear all day knowing that my socks are not the same even though it looks like they are.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

we’d just left a club in prague and headed over to burger king. we sat down and then out of nowhere in the middle of prague this group of gujarati kids came and sat down next to us. I had a conversation with them and forgot that the other girls hadn’t the foggiest idea what the fuck we were talking about. we were leaving and then one of them asked me to marry him……

33: what’s your fave pastry?

er…something with chocolate? or apples

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

there was this little black dog that used to be my sister’s, i can’t remember what i used to call him but I’ve still got him somewhere

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I absolutely love them but can never bring myself to use them (I eventually did and my Latin notes are so fucking pretty)

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Bahamas

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy but organised messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

when people walk slowly in the middle of the street and when people think they’re better than you

39: what color do you wear the most?

black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i have a little harry potter necklace i got for my 16th which i wear almost every day

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

me before you

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

don’t like coffee shops much

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

nobody

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

last sunday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

no lol they’re shit

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

all puns are good puns

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

ermm dunnoo

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

can’t remember exactly what my biggest fear was, but it’s not the same as today (although probably quite similar)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

nope don’t own any

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

empty glue sticks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

you - la vie en rose

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

LOOL some of the trump and theresa may ones have been pretty good

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no but they’re all on my list to watch

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

probably a stranger on the train

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

moved out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

people tagging in posts and memes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

currently ill in bed so i didn’t even move -_-

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

keef is the wine mom and i reckon you will be the vodka aunt :)

59: what’s your favorite myth?

there was this one where zeus was cheating on hera and when he got caught he turned the woman into a cow

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes! usually just snippets i read on the internet though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

given is what we gave keef and received…i don’t think ive ever received a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

sometimes yes, either the innocent strawberry and banana smoothie or the orange and passionfruit tropicana

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

music yes, it all has to be in particular playlists and books no, they’re just stacked randomly

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

bright blueee

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

you :( and a couple of people from school actually

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

tiny little black red and purple flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

a bit eh actually, but also nice if i’m inside and in bed

68: what’s winter like where you live?

not great, just a bit grim and rainy and no snow

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopolyyyy

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

breakfast tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

1000000% yes

73: what are some of your worst habits?

picking at the skin around my fingers and overthinking (the standard tbh)

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

newcastle born and bred sarcastic little shit who can be a bit annoying but also has a heart of gold

75: tell us about your pets!

MY LITTLE BABYYYYY Goghi is my cat - black with little white paws, a white stripe down her front and a white moustache. Softest fucking fur EVER. She has one funny eye, hates people and sleeps all day. I also have about twenty fish in the pond and two little ones in a tank inside. Varying sizes and no names

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

a marketing assignment, the laundry and cleaning my room

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

noooo idea..

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

fanclub. they’re one in a minion those things

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

little things like when people come and see me i cant think of a particular example

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige and nope we just painted the whole house that colour

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

*can’t remember what anyone’s eyes look like*

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was a pretty good student

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

the airborne toxic event and green day’s american idiot

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yesss but not sure yet!

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

nope

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have never heard of concept albums (upon googling it appears i do like some of them, yes)

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

3 idiots, dead poets society and kuch kuch hota hai amongst others

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

non

89: are you close to your parents?

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Londonnn - its just….everything (but also expensive)

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and hopefully a couple of other city breaks

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

drowns

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

hair down if its straight or pony tail if its curly

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my little cousin’s birthday was yesterday

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in be all weekend drink tea and eat soup

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

procrastinate, all the time

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTJ/INTP, gemini and ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

ncs? loved it but also hated it because i don’t like climbing

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Current favourites: Sometime Around Midnight, Vampire Smile and Wasn’t Expecting That

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Future - five years ago i was there and twas a bit shite

oh my god you don’t know how long those took me YOU BETTER READ THEM ALL @findinganiqa XXX

#aniqaunderground #messages #bloody hell this is long #this took me all week

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kysaito · 5 years

Text

Happy Three Years!

November 3, 2018

Dear Karis,

Happy 3rd birthday!

(As usual, this post is coming a little late.)

This year, we celebrated your birthday at least 6 times. :)

The first was at Griffith Park with Uncle Kenny, Rosa, Auntie Alice, and Grandma Fely. We had a picnic, then went on the carousel, then on the train, then you rode on a pony! (A kid in front of us was scared to leave his mommy to go on the pony, but you let go of my hand and walked straight into the ring without a glance back – you were so excited!)

Then on your actual birthday we did everything just as you planned it (yes, you were very specific about what you wanted). Here’s a version of what you would say to me leading up to your birthday:

“I want to be Cinderella, and Mama will be Pocahontas, and Auntie Lyssa will be Jasmine, and Grandma Fely can be Snow White, and Dada can be the Prince. And all the kids will sing, ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Karis, happy birthday to you,’ like that, and then I’ll blow out my candles.”

You also mentioned wanting to go to Kid Space, and the day before your birthday, we went to eat dinner and played at a nearby arcade afterward, so you added a visit to the arcade to your birthday list, as well. And guess what… we did all that (and more!)

You and I went to IHOP for breakfast (we ordered the cupcake pancake combo), then I took you to preschool all dressed up in your Cinderella gown, glass slippers and all, then Grandma Jo brought strawberry cupcakes to school that she and Uncle B made (as you requested). You looked so happy and elegant, sitting there in the middle of the room at the table with the princess tablecloth, your friends sitting with you beaming excitedly – proud to be sitting at the same table as the birthday princess. After everyone sang happy birthday to you, you blew out your candles, then we packed up and went to Kidspace, then to dinner, then to the arcade, then back to our place – and you wore your Cinderella dress and crown proudly the whole time. At home, we had more cupcakes, then opened presents – so many princess presents!

You make me so proud, little Bear. I even made an Instagram post:

HBD, sweet Karis girl. You bring healing and light wherever you go and have made me braver, stronger, kinder, and just better. :) And you’ve helped me believe that tutus really can go with everything. Love you forever.

I love how brave and free you are. You seemed a little nervous as we were walking toward the classroom and I did start to worry that someone would say or do something to make you feel silly and want to change, or that maybe the teachers would have you change because your dress was too poofy to do activities or sleep during nap time. But when we returned at the end of the day for cupcake time, and I saw you sitting there surrounded by your friends, still in your dress, crown, and slippers, smiling proudly – I realized I didn’t need to worry about you at all. Aside from how beautiful you looked, what made me so proud was that I knew you feltbeautiful, and you weren’t letting self-consciousness or fear of what others might think keep you from soaking it all in.

One little girl even came up to me and told me she liked your dress, and a little boy came up to Grandma Jo and said he wanted to play with you, but that “Veda wouldn’t let me.” (Veda is your preschool BFF.)

We also celebrated with our small group and with Grandpa and Estella! And Kyrie and Auntie Danes took you out for a movie and ice cream, too. :)

So let’s have a talk…about everything that happened since I last wrote!

(You love starting conversations like that – “Let’s have a talk, Mama” – as you pat the seat beside you.)

You started preschool!

The biggest thing is probably that you started preschool! You go to the Enchanted Castle at Pasadena Montessori (sounds like a mouthful, but one day before we even intentionally taught you the name of your new school, you said, “Am I going to Pasadena Montessori today?”)

Caption: Your first day of preschool.

We were a little nervous about how you’d handle the transition from Judy’s to preschool, but you did so well! You jumped right in there and didn’t even look back (or shed a single tear!) Sometimes you’ll bring it up (“Remember how when I was a little girl, I used to go to Judy’s?”), but when I ask if you want to go back you say no because you’re “a big girl now.” The teachers tell us that everyone is falling in love with you and that you’re a happy little chatterbox. JYou come home telling us about playing with Veda, and the “jobs” you do (that’s what they call the assignments you work on), and how you took a numbers test… by the way, here’s one of the first numbers tests you brought home… 100%!

You’re a ballerina!

You also started ballet classes! You seem to love it – you are able to follow the routines the teacher shows you, and we can really see the concentration and determination in your eyes! You also practice your moves outside of class... click here and here to view your little airport ballet performances. :)

youtube

You are a happy, silly, funny, bold, generous, thoughtful, loving, insightful, artistic, beautiful little girl.

I could go on but those words are ones I have pictures and stories I want to share about with you.

Happy, silly, funny. Those are actually your words. I was telling you one night about all the wonderful things you are, and you jumped in and finished my sentence with, “and happy… and silly… and funny…” I love that you use those words to describe yourself.

Bold. You’ve stepped up and gone to the front of the room when volunteers were asked for, even though we could tell you were feeling a little shy about it – from holding medium-sized snakes to being the magician’s assistant, and a few other things in between.

Generous. Mommy and Daddy went to Tijuana, Mexico in June to help build a house. When we came back and I was showing you pictures (Click here to see!) and telling you all about it, you kept saying (and still bring up at times) that you want to go to Mexico and build a house with us. And when I showed you a photo of the family, the first thing you said was, “How come the kids don’t have any shoes?” I explained that they didn’t have a lot of money, and you said, “I can give them my sparkle shoes.” And a few days ago, you caught a bag of toys that I had packed up to give away. It seemed that you were going to get upset (“Hey, that’s my elephant! That’s my Minnie toy!”), but then we sat down and I told you about how we were giving the toys away to kids who didn’t have any toys to play with… and you let it all go (and even brought up how you could give them your sparkle shoes, again).

Thoughtful. When an ambulance goes by or we see an accident on the road, you’ll ask what happened, and then pray. You also say the sweetest prayers at mealtime and bedtime. They’re usually something like, “Dear Jesus, thank you for… Help Mommy and Daddy to feel better… dear Jesus, amen.” More recently, your prayers for Mommy and Daddy have been replaced with, “Help Maggie to not eat grapes or pomegranates.” A few weeks ago, Grandma Fely hadn’t been doing too well because of her toothache. It had been a few days since we’d seen her, and I had forgotten all about it, but at dinnertime, out of nowhere you asked how Grandma Fely’s tooth was and wanted to call her. It made her day.

Loving. Daddy was sharing in front of the whole church last weekend, and you were sitting with me in the back. I was holding you up so you could see him, when you turned to me and said you wanted to go see him, so I put you down and said, “Okay, go ahead!” Then you ran all the way to the front and he picked you up and held you while he shared. Later, he asked why you came up to the front and you said, “because I love you.”

Insightful. Daddy and I were fighting one time and then daddy left. I found you sitting quietly in your room and when I apologized for the fighting, you responded ever so gently, “was it your fault?” while tapping my nose with your finger. That’s just one example of many when you’ve helped one of us re-center by gently speaking truth into us.

Artistic. I’m not sure this is the best word. But I feel like you’re a craftsman, for sure. You love drawing, painting, and tracing. You’re very precise and your drawings actually look like what you say they are!

Beautiful. We get told this all the time about you by strangers and friends alike, but you carry a unique beauty that I believe comes from the Holy Spirit’s presence on you. If there are kids around who you don’t know, you’ll want to befriend them. With the younger ones you do know, you like to take their hands and guide them. We want to the beach to watch Uncle Corey and Auntie Dana get baptized, and though we barely said anything to you about what was going on (just talked about it around you), you said to me at dinner later, in an almost distressed voice, “Mama, I didn’t get baptized!” (You actually said, “I didn’t get washtide” first and I had no idea what you were saying. I tried brushing it off – “oh don’t worry, we can get it another time,” but you were persistent in reiterating what you wanted until I understood.) You have a tender heart that makes your eyes sparkle.

You continue to make your way around the world.

You’ve been to Prague, Hawaii, Napa, San Francisco, San Diego, Big Bear, Ventura/Oxnard, and this year, Las Vegas, NV, Arizona, and North Carolina!

(Las Vegas, NV) The “diamonds” at the Cosmopolitan, sun bathing and shark tank at the Golden Nugget.

(Slide Rock, AZ) Sorry, not the best pic of you but I wanted you to see the rock slides! Your Daddy and I both went down -- very slippery and very cold!

Apple picking in North Carolina with Julia and Dennis!

Driving along Blue Ridge Parkway

Your first East Coast College Tour -- to Duke and UNC (you slept through most of Duke).

Moravian Falls, in the presence of angels

Fearrington Farm

We just celebrated Halloween together as the Disney royals (per your request)

Things I’ve been learning…

Your dad cherishes me… and I could do a better job of cherishing him. Cherishing is love that goes out of its way to honor, protect, showcase, encourage, and bring out the best. If I want to see someone change for the better, I should make the effort to intentionally cherish them. This means affirming them in how far they’ve come rather than pointing out how far they have to go, it means conquering contempt and the temptation to critique by protecting them and practicing thankfulness. Cherishing can bring healing and bring out the best in someone – where criticizing never will. Cherishing is a choice. (This is all from Cherish by Gary Thomas.)

Take care of the little ruptures. Sometimes when I’m upset with someone, I struggle with whether to say something or not. But if I don’t say it and can’t let it go, then I start building up resentment… and then love for that person starts to fade. “Love doesn’t magically disappear, but it can slip away if you’re not choosing to fight for it over and over” (228). “There were 1,000 little ruptures that never got repaired” (227). (This is from I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me, John Ortberg.) If the person matters to you, even if it’s uncomfortable or you just don’t feel like it, it’s worth it to take the time to address the little ruptures.

Be willing to interrupt what you’re doing, even if it’s inconvenient, to put the things that matter most first! There are so many times I’m faced with decisions and I’m not sure what to do, or I don’t even think and just choose based on what’s most convenient in the moment! I find that I often pick the thing that makes me look better to others – even if it means sacrificing my health, time with you, time with God, or compromising how I treat Daddy. Those are the very things that give me strength and joy. Without them, I get run-down and defeated. But with them, I am strong, content, and at peace. When you find your everyday decisions pulling you away from the things that ultimately matter most to you, stop, and force yourself to choose those things first.

Shake the dust off your feet… there’s just no pleasing them all. This keeps coming up again and again for me, and I have a feeling it will for you, too – simply because you’re my daughter. And also (this is a secret from 3-year-old you) but you’re already exhibiting signs of possibly being an achievement-oriented perfectionist (sorry). You can do your best and someone will think you’re not good enough. You can have pure intentions and someone will be offended by you. You can be nice and someone will think you have a secret agenda. You can try over and over to make things right with people, to make them see what you intended, to make them own your version of the truth… but you will lose lots of sleep, harbor too much anger and hurt, and you will always feel very, very tired. Oh, and it still won’t be enough. So again, focus on what’s true and unwavering and the people who matter most. Be willing to fight for those things. But beyond that… “shake the dust off your feet” and move on. Leave the rest to God’s judgement. (Matthew 10:14-15).

I love you so much my sweet precious Karis girl.

P.S. Other fun photos from these past few months...

Obon, July 2018

Kidspace (You insisted on sitting in the back while someone drove you, and refused to accept that I wasn’t going to fit in the driver’s seat... then this little boy drove up and offered to take you for a ride. The Kidspace employee commented, “she was made to be chauffeured.”)

Showing up in style for a drizzly day at Kidspace (you picked your outfit)

Tanaka Farms with Cam

Goofballs.

Doing the Worm at the family reunion/Cousins’ 50th in Vegas.

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gelato-of-the-day-blog · 7 years

Photo

February 13, 2017

Finally back from Prague! Couldn’t be happier! Missed this city so much. Prague was definitely interesting. Not what I expected. It looks like a mix between Disneyland and Harry Potter World. And we had fun (kind of) but I don’t need to go back there again.

We left bright and early on Thursday morning for the train station. Actually just early, not bright, because it was before sunrise. All 4 of us wheeled our carry on bags past the Duomo and through the cobblestone streets of Florence very noisily. We had assigned seats on the train that were not only not together but mostly in separate cars. When we got on I noticed that my bag would not fit in the overhead space and I had no idea where I was supposed to put it. Luckily, no one ended up being in the seat next to me so I could keep my bag there. The ride was pretty peaceful. I listened to my music and looked out the window at the Italian countryside. Very enjoyable. And much better than the swampland views off the NJ Transit. We got to the airport in 2 hours and had a lot of time to kill so we decided to look for breakfast food. I guess they don’t really have that in Italy or at least not in the airport. So I had pizza before 11 a.m. The flight was easy. Only like an hour and a half. My only complaint would be that the seat in front of my was basically touching my face and not even because it was leaning back. The rows were just that close together. But what do you expect when you fly an airline like Vueling? I would’ve been claustrophobic if I didn’t sleep for most of the flight. When we landed I looked out the window at the snow on the ground and thought, “Okay so this is the Czech Republic.” That is definitely a place I never thought I would be. We got our bags, met up with Chandler, and called Ubers (both good and bad that they had Uber there). For our Airbnb, it was owned by a company, not a person, so we had to meet at their office. Me, Sab, and Olivia Ubered there. When we got there, we rang the bell outside a tiny building. We were buzzed in and my first thought was, “This is a trap.” The place looked abandoned. I thought we were about to be kidnapped. Then a guy came towards us and brought us into an office that looked like it belonged in a different building. It was bright and modern looking and the 2 employees there were both very nice. They gave us our keys and we walked to the apartment.

The apartment was basically in the middle of Old Town Square, which is a main square in Prague and large tourist attraction. And the apartment itself? I can describe it in 3 words: doors and keys. There were 6 doors separating the street from the inside of the apartment. 6. Yes, very safe but, no, not very practical. We were hysterically laughing trying to get in. Each key was color-coded for the different doors. Clear for the main front door, yellow for the first “cage”, black for the second “cage”, green for the next door, then blue, then finally red to actually walk into the apartment. We timed ourselves going in one time and used both sets of keys so one person unlocked and another locked the doors behind us. We did it in 2 minutes and 41 seconds which is ridiculously impressive. We got sushi for dinner and then got ready to go out. Prague is very cheap. The conversion rate is ridiculous; it’s like $1 = 27 crowns (their currency) so everything seems like a lot of money but it’s not. Another thing about Prague. It is absolutely freezing. Comparable to a Michigan winter. And not the joke one they are having now like a real polar vortex winter. This made the night pretty terrible for me. We went to this pregame bar called Bombay where I saw everyone I’ve ever met and a few people I’ve never met but am friends with on Facebook. It was packed in there so we went across the street to this other bar for a little bit and that place was like a real tough Czech bar. I’m pretty sure it was in the basement of a tattoo parlor. We didn’t stay long. We finally got an Uber to the club everyone was going to and when we got there they were holding up a sign saying “Sorry. Club is full.” We stood on the sidewalk outside for at least 30 minutes before we could get in. I was in open toed shoes. Miserable. Oh! Another thing! Czech people are mean. Like soooo mean. The guys working at the club were actually pushing and yelling at people. It was ridiculous. All I wanted to do was go home. I stayed for like 10 minutes then left. The bad thing about Uber is that (like many European cities) Prague has many squares that cars can’t drive through. And our apartment was in one of those squares. So we were dropped off not close and then had to walk in the cold again. Again, miserable.

The next morning (Friday) me, Sab, and Courtney bundled up for our private tour of the Jewish Quarter with Martina. She met us outside our apartment and was so cute and nice. She showed us some beautiful memorials and temples and told us so much about the history of Jews in Prague. All of it was so interesting. The tour was 3 hours and we were really tired afterwards. Our feet hurt so badly so we met our friends at Bakeshop for brunch and ended up just sitting there for hours. We were originally sitting with a bunch of SDT girls but they all left and then it was just the 3 of us at a big table so some boys asked if they could sit down. They started talking to us and eventually asked if we wanted to go get beers with them at this place across the street. We all thought why not and decided to go. 2 of them go to Michigan and 2 go to UF and none are studying in Prague. They were all just visiting. We sat at this place called Beer Story that looked like the basement of Espresso Royale on South U. Also, this is not even an exaggeration, the whole time we were there the only music they played was Taylor Swift. Bizarre. We had a lot of fun making new friends though!

Then we had to go to the club for that night (Lucerna) to get tickets to get into the club. The guy there said they weren’t selling anymore tickets until later and the capacity was 1,000. That did not seem like a lot to us so I asked when we could get tickets and he told me 8:00 p.m. We went back to our apartment to shower and then at 7:15 left to go wait on line for tickets. On our way out, the black key broke in the lock of the door and we thought we were going to be trapped forever. Jaclyn was luckily able to get the piece out using a fork and we never locked that door again. We made it to the club early enough to be the 3rd people on line. By 8:00 there were probably about 30-40 people waiting. That’s when the guy said that they were selling tickets until 9. There was outrage. The next hour was torture. I was starving. Everyone was pushing and yelling. The line got to be probably hundreds of people long and every was just pushing forward. And of course people were trying to cut. I was standing on my toes because I was being pushed forward and couldn’t get my heels on the ground. Again, miserable. We were finally able to get the tickets and get out of there but it was too late. The damage had been done. I was getting a migraine. We got to dinner and I tried eating as quickly as possible and drinking water but nothing helped. I wasn’t able to go out. I’m still so angry about it. I didn’t really care about missing anything but it was just the fact that I waited on line so I could go out and doing that gave me a headache so I couldn’t go out. Ugh.

The next morning (Saturday), Olivia and Chandler joined our tour with Martina. She took us to the castle, the John Lennon wall, and the Charles Bridge. I didn’t realize that the entire tour was going to be outside. For 3 hours. By the end we were all actual blocks of ice. I honestly though I would never feel my toes again. When it ended we said goodbye to Martina (miss her), and went to have lunch and get warm in the closest place to us: the Hard Rock Café. Actually zero complaints about it because it was warm and I got chicken fingers so pretty solid lunch for me. After that we went to see the Dali and Warhol exhibits. The Warhol stuff was so cool. I took a million pictures and I’m wondering how many is too many to Instagram. Also wondering how much it would cost to decorate my house with a bunch. We also met some boys there who asked us what our plans for Passover were. Kk. Then we all needed to go home and crash for a little bit. We wanted a quick dinner so we just went to the closest place we could find and it turned out to be Italian. It was also not so great. We’re already getting snobby about food and wine. We ate quickly and then had to get an important Prague delicacy before we left: a Trdelník (pictured above). Actually so overrated. I honestly didn’t really like it but it looks pretty. We went home to get ready to go out. Sara and her friend came over and then we all made our way to the Roxy for “Czech It Out”. It was like a concert at a club. Sam Feldt (I’m sure most of you don’t know who that is. He’s a DJ) was performing. This was the only night I had fun. Well it was fun after we got in. There was a huge line just to get in and by a line I mean a large mass of people pushing each other. I thought I was going to be trampled like one of those Black Friday situations. We were all being crushed to death for like 15 minutes and after yelling at a lot of people and pushing really hard I eventually made it through the doors. Just why Prague?? I really only know one song by Sam Feldt (Feels Like Home) and was excited for him to play it. He went on at 2, ended at 4 and never played my song! I’m actually still mad about it. I mean he did a great job, played some cool songs that I liked, played a lot of songs that aren’t his, but really? He couldn’t just play the one song I wanted to hear? It was fun though and we danced and at 3:30 decided it was time to go. But on the way out we ran into our bar friends (the guys from the day before)! They wanted us to stay so we danced with them a little until they kind of ditched us and then it was really time to leave.

The next morning (Sunday), we had to check out of our Airbnb by 11. We packed up and went to Bakeshop again and hung out there until we had to go to the airport. The security there was actually stupid. I had to take all of the toiletries out of my bag and then I asked the woman if I had to take off my shoes and she said no. I walked through the thing and it beeped and she said, “It’s your shoes. Walk through faster this time.” So I did. And obviously it beeped again. So instead of taking off my shoes they decided they needed to pat me down. You literally said it was my shoes. Why not just make me walk through without the shoes? So stupid. Courtney also had a minor fiasco with her train tickets but we got it all figured out. We did the flight and then took a train from the airport and had to switch trains but we finally made it home. I can’t even describe the feeling of relief and happiness I felt when we stepped out of the train station and onto the streets of Florence. Like actual bliss. Walking past the Duomo and everything I missed so much was physically calming. We stopped for GELATO on our way home (obviously) and the people at Venchi probably thought we were moving in with all the luggage we had.

This morning (Monday), I woke up to a million texts telling me my family had gotten a dog without me. They basically waited until right when I left, the moment when I would be away the longest, to get a puppy. So maybe I’ll get to meet it when it’s already big enough to eat Zeke and I miss the entire puppy stage. Thanks fam! Honestly wouldn’t even have gotten out of bed today after that if it hadn’t been so nice out today. It was like 60 degrees and sunny. A complete turnaround from Prague. We had lunch and ran some errands but mostly had a chill day to recover from the long weekend. We ate at Antico Noe and learned once again that you cannot eat outside here because you will be attacked by birds. I fell out of my chair in a very public place and it was definitely embarrassing. Not really looking to starting classes again but I guess this is technically school. Class is as good a way as any to celebrate Valentine’s Day. At least I got my Lambertesca gals!

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