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#he is not betraying anyone if this is true
carmyboobear · 2 days
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Idk if you've written this but can you write about carmy and the reader arguing and he makes her cry? Idk I just feel like thatd be good angst fluff lol
AHH I got carried away as per usual. anyway this is good stuff. wrote a bunch. enjoy!!
word count: 1.3k
tags: traumatized carmy, mentally ill carmy and reader, arguing, language, HURT/COMFORT, ANGST/FLUFF, carmy being a sweetie
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Hm…i'm spending a lot of time thinking about the set-up for this. Carmy is a very careful person when it comes to those he’s romantically involved in, but at the same time, he has a hard time controlling his temper when he's in the darkness, as i'll put it. 
here's something awful i think about that i wanna write about. carmy's stressed about work, because of course he is. he's carmy. his head is whirring, spinning with anxiety and self-hatred. i think you're just like him. mentally ill for mentally ill if you will. you're also in a bad mood, and he comes home from The Bear exhausted and keyed up.
“I hate when you push me away like this,” you admit. You've been trying to get him to talk to you since he's been home. Maybe he just needs space, but separation makes you anxious. Especially when he shuts down. 
“I'm sorry that it's so hard for you,” he spits, finally snapping and turning to face you. You've followed him into the dark bedroom, lit only by the harsh moonlight through the window. You flinch. You never quite get used to seeing him like this. 
“I—I just—“ you feel pressure beginning in the back of your eyes. You will it away. “How can I help you if you don’t talk to me?”
“Why do you care so much? Does it make you feel better to take care of someone more fucked up than you?” He snaps, voice raised. His words go down bitter, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. Something in you shatters.
“How could you ask me that?” Your vision’s gone hot and blurry. “I’m your partner. I love you, that’s why I care, you asshole!” You’re stifling sobs. You hate crying in fights like this, but it hurts. You can’t help it.
“Fuck,” Carmy mutters under his breath. He’s gone still in your blurred vision. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—“
“That was so fucked up, Carmy.” You move to sit on the bed, trying to wipe your tears away, but they keep coming. “What’s your problem?”
“You know what my problem is.” His remorse has swept away the anger, leaving him quiet before you. He leans down at your knees, hands on your thighs. “I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Carmy nods quickly, and he raises a hand to your wet cheeks. “Fuckin’ asshole.”
“I know.” He takes your pain, your anger in its entirety. His other hand brings your knuckles to his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.“
“Sure sounded like you meant it.” Anger flares up in your chest, hurt and betrayed, but you tamp it down, leaning into his hand cradling his face. You take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Damnit, Carmy.”
“I know. I know.” He’s still kissing your hand. “You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.” You hate it when he talks like this, because you can tell he really believes it.
“Don’t say that. Please.” 
“But it’s true.” You look down at him in the moonlight, at his sad blue eyes. “I always find ways to hurt you. I…”
“That’s what being in a relationship is, Carm.” You pat the space next to you. “Sit with me?”
“I keep having to remind myself of that.” He sinks into the bed next to you. “I’m so sorry for talking about you like that. Like you’re only doing this out of…I don’t know. Obligation.” He drags a hand across his tired face. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry. I just, I just think that—that I’m—fuck—“
“Slow down, Carm,” you say quietly. “It’s okay. You don’t need to force it. I’m listening.” He smiles bitterly at you, and you recognize the love in it easily. He takes in a deep breath before continuing. 
“I still have a hard time believing that anyone cares about me. I can’t even believe that you—love me.” You can practically see the shame rolling off of him in waves. “And it makes me scared.”
“Love is scary, isn’t it?” You say softly. He just nods. “It scares me, too. That’s why I kept pestering you when you got home. I…” You blink quickly. You don’t wanna cry again. “It scares me when I don’t know what you’re thinking. Because…I dunno. It just does.”
“Yeah?” You nod. He has this thoughtful expression that he holds for a moment as he stews on your words. “I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry. I think…I think when you kept asking me if I was okay, it…” he sighs, scratches at his temples. “I felt like I was…getting back into a corner. I think.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” You take his hand in yours. “I can see how that must’ve felt really bad.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault that I’m like this. I think—I think it just reminded me of my mom. We would always ask her if she was okay, because she’s fucking crazy, yknow? We didn’t wanna step on her toes. But it turns out we did anyway. And the way I acted just now, I was just like…” He can’t even get the words out. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, voice choked with emotion. “I love you. So much. You know that, right?”
“You tell me everyday. How could I not?” You pull him into a hug, tight and warm, and he instantly wraps his arms around you. “You’re not your mom, Carm. You're nothing like her. Okay?” 
“I don’t wanna be like her,” he whispers. “I don’t wanna be like her.”
“You’re not,” you remind him softly. “And you won’t be.”
Carmy leans back to look at you, but he remains close. His expression is knotted with pain. You run your thumb over his furrowed brow, and it makes his mouth curve upwards in a smile. It’s fleeting, but it was there. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I’ll try to open up more. Let you know what I’m thinking.”
Suddenly, you think about when you first started dating Carmy. He was so scared to open up to you emotionally, but with gentle prodding, he fell apart instantly. There was a hunger in him to be known by others, to be seen by you, and it scared him to death. You see that same fear in him now, but you also see how much he’s grown since then. You doubt you would’ve been able to have this conversation at all in the first couple months. 
That makes you happy in a way you’re not quite able to word properly.
“Thank you. But I hope you also know I don’t want to force you. I just wanna help. And…” You measure your words carefully. “I’ll try not to let it freak me out so much. Because if you’re not in the mood to talk, I want you to know that’s okay. Okay?”
“Okay. I’d like that. If I don’t want to talk, I’ll just tell you. Instead of…blowing a fuse.” He laughs dryly. 
“I’d like that too.” You let out an exhale of relief you didn’t realize you were holding. “Wow, Carm. Look at us. Communicating!”
“I know.” That makes him laugh for real this time, and you’re laughing too. “I couldn’t do it without you.”
“I think you could. But I certainly like doing it with you.” His smiles grows wider at that, brimming with affection. 
“Let me make this up to you, baby.” He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and deep. You let out a little noise when his lips meet yours. 
“Make it up to me?” Carmy’s tongue is on your neck now. Oh. “Aren’t you tired? You—you have work tomorrow—?”
“Don’t care.” You fall back onto the bed, and the blankets deflate under you. You stare up at Carmy, his curls hanging by his face. “You’re more important.”
“Well, if you insist…” You giggle, and your giggles get louder when Carmy pulls up your shirt to blow raspberries against your stomach. “Carmy, quit it—oh—!”
He makes it up to you in full and more by keeping his head between your legs for the rest of the night. By the end of it you can't remember what you were mad about in the first place.
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thedeathlysallows · 2 days
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Is It Over Now? (8)
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Aemma Velaryon; Aegon Targaryen x Aemma Velaryon
Summary: When you lost control
Warnings: canon typical Targaryen incest
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The king is dead.
The words ring through your mind repeatedly, a horrible reminder that everything is changing for better or worse.
"Aemond," you finally find your voice after what feels like (and likely is) hours. "Is it true? Is he..."
Aemond gives you a sad look and pulls you close against his chest. His lips press to the top of your head as he whispers his answer. "Yes."
You aren’t sure how to feel. You loved your grandfather, and he surely loved you, but you’re nervous for your mother. You’ve heard so many whispers throughout the Keep… whispers that spell disaster for your mother’s ascension to the throne. There are those that would see your mother dead before they see her as Queen, and you’ve got the sinking feeling your husband and his mother are at the head of that battle.
“The safest place for you is our bedchamber,” Aemond tells you, and your heart immediately drops to your stomach. “You must stay here.”
“And if I don’t?” You look up at Aemond, tilting your chin in defiance. “Besides, why should I? My mother will be Queen. She is Queen if Viserys is truly dead. Why should her heir hide away and not be seen?”
Aemond’s lips are set in a thin line. “It’s in your best interest to listen to your husband.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Do you know what my grandfather is currently doing?” Aemond grabs you by the wrist and pulls you close. The pupil of his good eye is blown wide, black swallowing violet until only a void is left. “He’s searching the grounds for Aegon. Why do you think he would do that?”
“Because his father is dead.”
“Aemma, you aren’t a stupid girl. You know why. My grandfather will not allow your mother to sit on the Iron Throne.”
You swallow the bile rising in your throat. You didn’t expect Aemond to lie to you, he would never do that, but you didn’t expect such blunt honesty either. And if Aegon has truly ran off… you take a deep breath to center yourself. Your marriage to Aemond is still so new and now you’re being tested in a way you never could’ve imagined.
“What will you do?” You finally find your voice as you gaze up at Aemond, his features sharper than usual in the early morning light.
“Mother has tasked me with finding Aegon before our grandfather’s men.”
“And then?”
“I have no desire to see Aegon on the throne.”
Despite his words, something remains unsaid. He doesn’t want Aegon on the throne, but he doesn’t want your mother either. He won’t support her claim, therefore denying your claim as well.
Before tears can fall, you yank your wrist out of his grip. “Go then. Support a usurper over your wife.”
“It’s more than that and you know it.”
“No! I don’t know, Aemond! Viserys chose Rhaenyra as his heir. She is his oldest living child. I am my mother’s heir as her eldest child. What’s so complicated about that?”
“People will never accept a woman on the throne. Not only that, but your brothers are bastards and everyone knows. You have to be her heir because you are her only legitimate child. Unfortunately, not even that will save you if the people decide to rise up against your mother in favor of Aegon.”
“They would never! All the houses swore to recognize-“
“Words said by dead lords whose children don’t share their sentiment.” Aemond observes you quietly for a moment. “Don’t make me post guards at your door. I have no desire to make you a prisoner, but you’re forcing my hand. Stay out of this fight.”
Aemond presses his lips to yours, but you refuse to kiss him back, keeping your body rigid when he tries to hold you. You watch him go silently, rage simmering in your blood. When the two of you married, you had promised yourself to try. Try and make it work. Try to be a good wife to Aemond. How can you possibly do any of that now without betraying your family?
There’s only one option left for you: you need to find Aegon before anyone else. If anyone can convince him to not take the Iron Throne it’s you. He would do anything you asked of him.
Luckily, you know him better than anyone else. Even Aemond. They’ll search the brothels, the ale houses, but you know better. Aegon is smart enough not to hide in places he’ll be expected. That only leaves on place.
The Great Sept.
When you go to leave your room, you’re stopped immediately by the King’s Guard. True to his word, Aemond posted them outside of your shared chambers. They glare at you silently until you shut the door and retreat deeper into the room. There’s another way- a secret way your mother taught you should something like this happen. So you set to work, tapping against the wall until you find the door hidden by the fireplace.
You slowly make your way down the dark passage, sticking close to the damp stone wall. It won’t be far to the Great Sept once you make it out of the Keep. The difficult part will be not being spotted. You’ll stick to the shadows, though, and you’ll keep your hood up as far as you can without drawing suspicion.
You can do this.
You have to do this.
For your mother.
Fresh air finally washes over you as you reach the exit of the passage. You’re well outside of the Keep now, no guards to spot you as you sneak down the street. The Sept looms large and imposing in front of you. You’ve never been particularly religious, but you’ll praise any god you can if you’re the one to find Aegon first.
The Sept is still in the early morning as you step inside. Candles haven’t even been lit yet and the silence around you is suffocating.
“Aegon?” You try to make as little noise as possible, unwilling to alert anyone to your presence.
You hear a small cough come from underneath a table and kneel down. Aegon grins up at you, absolutely reeking of wine. You offer him your hand. He takes it willingly.
“Everyone is looking for you,” you tell him.
“And yet you found me first.” His expression grows dark. “I won’t do it. I don’t want the throne. Tell them to give it to Aemond… I’m not suited for it.”
When you don’t argue with him, Aegon lifts a brow in question. “Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?”
“Not exactly. I don’t want Aemond to be King and gods know I’ll only be Queen if my mother is dead.” You take Aegon’s hands in your own and hold them against your chest. “Aegon, we both know they’ll never stop trying to make you King. I need you to stop them. Do whatever it takes. Please.”
Aegon tilts his head, eyes drawn to your lips. “Run away with me. We can go to Braavos and write to your mother. She’ll understand and pardon us after she takes the Throne back.”
“Aegon, You’re married. What will happen to your children if we leave? You can’t protect them from Braavos.”
“No mention of your own marriage. Is there trouble for the newlyweds?” He steps forward and crowds you against the wall. “Say the word and I’ll take you away from all of it.”
“We can’t. We have to stay and you have to fight. I’ll stand by your side as your brother’s wife, but we can’t leave this mess for my mother to clean up alone. We have to help her.”
Something changes in his expression. His face tenses up and his eyes darken as he listens to your words. “And if I don’t? If I decide to take the Throne from Rhaenyra, will you still stand by my side? What if I stay the selfish bastard I’ve always been?”
“What would you gain from doing that?”
“You.”
That one little word sits heavy in your soul. “Aegon…”
He shushes you, kissing you sloppily. His lips are warm and demanding while one of his hands drifts down to hike your thigh up his waist.
“The only fucking thing I’ve ever wanted is you, and you’re the only thing I can’t have. But if I’m King? No one can stop me from taking you for my own.”
“You can’t.”
“I could. Who would stop me?”
“I would.”
Aegon trails his lips against your neck before biting down hard. “Would you? I don’t think so. Aemond wouldn’t stop me either. He doesn’t have the fucking courage. You’ll be mine one way or another. I’m letting you decide how.”
You let out a deep, shuddering breath. “I can’t leave.”
“Then a king I’ll be.”
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hungnitan · 2 days
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Penacony TB 2.1 Impression
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Contains heavy spoiler and mostly a rant so don't read it if you still not finish the story (lol)
Before unto the stories, I must say I kinda get the reasons why hoyo put Acheron in first banner and Aventurine in second half after read TB 2.1. For Acheron, I think her identity as emenator nihility is the key lore to expose before 2.1 began so there's need to expose it at trailer (despite her reasoning coming to Penacony still unknown somehow lol). While for Aventurine, this is kinda delulu on my side but there's possibility we might know the things happened to him after 2.1 from his daily message.
Onto stories, I only say one line... IT'S VERY HONKAI VIBE ! Telling one person stories from they born into the one we know now with angsty vibe of course lol. You know, the things I scare when hoyo release Acheron trailer and myriad celestial is how Aventurine past can beat that honkai queen and (un)fortunately I was wrong (lol)
IT'S FULL BLOW OF AVENTURINE DARK PAST and yeah hoyo score a full mark with it !
For composition I think it's 80% Aventurine PoV and 20% others which is unsuprisingly since I'm pretty sure he will not appear again for future Penacony chapter but what I'm suprise is so far Astral Express basically can't do anything much in Penacony so yeah Xianzhou Luofu TB back again.
Despite that, I'm very happy with TB 2.1 like this is what Honkai story should do ! Up until now, I always thought HSR still not show their full equipment and pretty weak with their story, Tingyun only snapping some head isn't near those previous Honkai heels you know (lol).
I'm going to talk a long rant on 80% since hoyo decided to love him with his so well written stories and I love him too (XD)
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The things with Aventurine and Ratio, I guess this what we would called "same mind don't need talk much". They're bickering so well, even acted betray each others without any communication and smooth enough to fool Sunday
But sorry I'm not getting fool (I know they're soulmate lol), the reason is I found one hole in Sunday Ratio convo here
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Ratio saying about cornerstone is so precious to ten stonehearts but the box contain can be opened by other than them ? If that's true, I can't believe someone like Aventurine would risk someone like that participate in his grand scheme without reasons... plus Ratio doesn't strike me as someone who sells his teammate or what he called lol no matter how iritatting he is.
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Suprising fact, he even try kill himself few times at dreamscape ! Like is that something you can try out of fun even If knowing you can't die ? Well yeah, in first place he always searching a place to die but doing and talk are two different things you know...
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two question I thought Aventurine never answer directly which is pretty related. First of all, different than Sunday which I think he's type of "I will kill everyone and then myself if they hurt my sister" but he's already at own limit to think for his own survival + he doesn't have anyone to get revenge for. Elation still have some excitement when saw someone despair but I don't think Aventurine (at that time) could feels same, well we don't know things after 2.1 since his past chains severed by Acheron, maybe he will open a new leaf (I hope so, let him live happily ever after with Ratio or Elation or even Trailblazing with us sounds good too lol)
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It stabilize the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are good friends despite their talk, voiceline, and teammate voiceline at least from Ratio side which is the vital point Aventurine still alive as now. I really skeptic on his dead or alive status at 2.1 livestream, well mostly I can't believe any Shaoji said that time (plus the fact Gallagher is just a normal bartender lol)
TB 2.1 conclude with opening a new story with dreamscape's secrets, the Family and Watchmaker aren't same side, IPC will added another ten stonehearts member to game, a mysterious voice will join the fray. Penacony story so far so good, even their newest branch stories execute nicely but I don't have any exciment anymore now knowing Aventurine not gonna show up anymore (XD)
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fuckaperioddrama · 3 days
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hello love💕
i’m here to ask you to elaborate on your ideas for mattheo’s zodiac chart (and if you’re up for it, enzo’s too)
my only heavy preference is mattheo being a scorpio, but frankly i’m unsure if that’s more because of who he is versus me just being scorpio too so 💀
i wanna know your thoughts! thanks 😘
OH I LOVE YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS!
I also LOVE Scorpios and it totally makes sense for y’all to self insert yourself into a character. No shade. A little shade. I’m preparing you for what I’m about to say about Scorpios. ONCE AGAIN, I LOVE you guys.
This will not include his sign in Saturn, Jupiter, Uranus, or Pluto. I will do a full chart if you want me to. I just think those placements are more for the philosophical conversations. The ones down below contain the juicy stuff which is what I currently want to talk about.
I didn't include Enzo because I didn't feel like it.
TODAY.
I'll post his tomorrow.
~
Mattheo Riddle Birth Chart-Ish
Rising | Aries
Ruling Planet: Mars
The Rising Sign is all about appearance both physically and within how others perceive you. Aries Risings are known to have sharper and more prominent noses as well as a sharp chin and jawline. These are physical traits I associate with Mattheo Riddle. 
Mattheo Riddle has passion and determination. These traits are associated with Mars. The Ram that represents Aries is stubborn and headstrong and this is how an Aries Rising comes off. They seem independent and like they can take on any challenge the world throws at them without the help of anyone around them. Mattheo seems strong. He seems like he doesn’t need anyone even if that’s not true. 
Sun | Scorpio
Ruling Planet: Mars
Your Sun Sign is your core personality. Scorpios are some of the best signs because of who they are as people. They’re fiercely loyal which is a trait I’d associate with Matheo. He would never betray his loved ones. Scorpios are honest, determined, brave, and intuitive. Mattheo doesn’t shy from giving his opinion, he doesn’t back down from a challenge, he gets what he wants, and he pays attention. He notices things and is really good at reading people. 
Scorpios are also jealous, possessive, controlling, emotional as fuck, manipulative, calculated, petty, resentful, and they make you jump through hoops for them to open up to you. But the second you mess up? Even once? You’re done. Cut off. Good luck ever getting them to open up again. I feel I don’t have to explain why these traits fit Mattheo. 
Moon | Capricorn
Ruling Planet: Saturn
Your Moon Sign portrays your deepest emotions. Your most raw and unfiltered self. Capricorn Moons are naturally responsible, disciplined, and are very hard workers. BUT they get in their head and struggle to show those traits. Capricorn Moons are happiest when they’re succeeding in life so if for some reason they believe they’re failing then they will have a really hard time being happy. I think this fits Mattheo so well. He's so smart and has so much potential, but he doesn't do anything with it. He knows he has no true direction or good purpose in his life (yet) and that knowledge can bring down his mental health. 
Capricorn Moons remain composed when truly threatened. While Mattheo’s anger is explosive, he becomes very stone-cold when something serious happens. A person with a Capricorn Moon also tends to have a poor relationship with their father. They might have felt a lot of pressure in their relationship and high expectations. 
Mercury | Gemini
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Your Mercury Sign is all about the way you communicate and think. This placement also having the Ruling House of Mercury? *chefs kiss* So good. Mercury within your Mercury? Perfect balance. These people are curious, social, and quick-witted. I think Mattheo is a very social person when he's in a good mood. He's super charismatic and really articulate. Mattheo also has this natural curiosity. He's always doing something and doesn't shy away from an adventure. 
Someone with this placement can also have issues handling their anger and often in arguments will say extremely hurtful things. They don't mean to or want to say these things, it's just in the heat of the moment. And Mattheo??? Come on. 
Venus | Cancer
Ruling Planet: Moon
Venus is how you love both platonically and romantically. HEAR ME OUT! I know this is a very 'soft' placement. I think Mattheo is a very sweet person, he just carries a lot of unresolved trauma that covers all that up. Someone with a Venus in Cancer is very obvious about their loyalty. You just know they wouldn't abandon you. They're very nurturing and sensitive. Mattheo is fiercely loyal and even though he may not know how to show it, he does care a lot and he wants to help and take care of the people he loves. 
These placements can also be very clingy and I think Mattheo is a needy person even if he won't admit it. He would stick to his partner like glue, it would be a little overwhelming. A Cancer Venus can also be fiercely protective and extremely jealous. 
Mars | Aries
Ruling Planet: Mars
Mars deals with sex and aggression. These people are short-tempered, reckless, impatient, and so competitive. They can be such assholes and they tend to make a lot of mistakes because of how brash they can be. I just think this is very Mattheo. 
The positive side is that these people are often very driven, confident, and can be very assertive. They know what they want and they get it. 
Sexually? Beast. Very high stamina. Hard and fast. Passionate. They love some good angry sex. I say no more.
Chart Ruler: Mars
Not a lot of people know about Chart Rulers. Maybe you do, but I was like 1 and a half years into my astrology bitch era before I discovered Chart Rulers. You find your Chart Ruler by looking at your Rising Sign. Find the planet that rules that Rising Sign. For Mattheo, his Rising Sign is ruled by Mars. That means his Chart Ruler is his Mars in Aries. 
What's a Chart Ruler? Basically the captain of the ship. The other placements have a say, but the Chart Ruler is calling the shots. I think this is important to know for Mattheo because he does try to get better, but that angry impulsiveness that comes from his Mars in Aries really shines through.
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moyazaika · 2 days
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SLASHER.
Being a slasher isn’t as fun as some people think, at least not for me. I’m not a fan of the screaming, the blood, the mess, the chase, the effort, the news reports about my murders, none of it. I just want to kill bastards who have done horrible things and move on with my life, under the radar.
Look. I get it. People with my murderous hobby send to be sadistic maniacs who love to chase and torment their victims. I don’t. I just go into their house, or wherever they are while they are sleeping and kill them. My method depends on the day and where they are. If they are sleeping next to someone else (spouse, roommate, or other) I’ll either wait until they get up to go to the bathroom or I’ll silently suffocate them or slit their throat. If they are sleeping along and no one else is around I’ll shoot them. And so on and so forth. 
My mask is pretty simple. A black mask with red mesh eye holes, they used to be white but with all the blood that it’s been covered in I can’t get the stains out anymore. My general slasher outfit is just an all black outfit that covers every inch of my skin. No dna and all that.
I don’t really fall into the slasher category where people are like “I could have never predicted this! They were such a great person!”. And it’s not because I give off murderer vibes…..at least not that I know of….it’s just because I don’t talk to people so there isn’t anyone to tell that to the police. 
I go outside, but I don’t go outside to make friends. I go out to buy food, clothes, make money, etc.
I’m not scared of people, for fucks sake I kill people, people are scared of me, not the other way around. I’m just……easily disappointed with my peers. I understand it’s hard to be a good person at times, and it’s not really my place to tell people how to be a good person when I kill someone every Saturday, but people should at least have the decency to not betray someone.
Some people are also WAY too loyal to their friends. Friends that say they would be their bestie’s alibi if they committed a crime, maybe even help hide the evidence.
I don’t want that type of friend. 
If I had a friend, I don’t want them lying for me. I don’t want them risking getting into legal trouble because of me. If they were to find out I was a slasher I want them to go to the police and report me. Doesn’t matter if they do or do not have evidence, report it. Even if I don’t’ get caught through that report I want them to report it. 
…I don’t really understand myself to be honest.
I have morals.
I have a consciousness.
I just……am detached from them at times.
Even when I talk about caring about my hypothetical friend…not wanting them to get in trouble with the police…I don’t really care…I just say and act like I do because I should care.
…I don’t really know if I’m a good or bad person anymore.
…I don’t even know why I’m writing this….what’s the point?...Despite what those articles say about journaling to get to know yourself better….nothing has changed….i’m just as detached as I was before….even talking about this isn’t completely true. I almost feel sad….but not really. It’s like I can touch the sadness through a glass barrier, but it never is truly touching me……I guess it doesn’t’ really matter. I’m not unhappy with my life, so I don’t see any reason to fix it.
The rich bastard I planned on killing woke up right before I stabbed him in the neck, so now I’m stuck chasing him around his mansion. He keeps screaming for his staff, calling them “lazy worthless idiots” and “good for nothings”. I started to wonder if I even had to pay them off to not help him. It wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination to think that they just “didn’t hear anything” the night he died.
He ran around a corner but fell down before he could get out of my sight. Well, fell down wasn’t accurate since a second later I saw a man with his own mask on standing over him, clearly having pushed him.  He got on top of the man and started stabbing him. He screamed and the blood from his body started leaking and spread out on the floor. I took a few steps back so it wouldn’t get on my shoes, it’s a pain washing off blood.
When the new guy was done he sat on his legs and looked at me.
“oh….sorry…..didn’t know someone else was after him” he had a very monotone voice. I couldn’t tell if he really meant what he said or if he was trying to mock me.
“…it’s fine…..there were probably more people than just the two of us who were after him”
He nods and looks at the dead body.
“do you collect body parts or is he free game for me?”
“take whatever you like, I don’t like messes.”
He chuckled a little and lifted his knife towards the body. I walked away, hearing some of the cutting noises.
I keep seeing the new guy around the places I kill. Maybe he likes the area because I’m not killing him for killing in my territory like some other slashers. I don’t’ really care who kills in my area. A dead bastard is a dead bastard, I don’t really care if I killed them or someone else did. If anything I prefer if someone else does since I don’t have to clean anything.
“so….when did you start killing?”
“sir, I don’t kill people, and I’m insulted you think that.” I said with anger in my voice.
I don’t know how, but the police apparently have some evidence against me. But they aren’t good cops either, my luck is truly magical. 
The detective is clearly new. He walked in with his head held high and a superiority complex. When he looked at you, you knew he saw you as nothing but a stupid criminal that would get him a raise if he got you sentenced. But like all men with that type of ego, they lack something to actually back that up. It’s nothing but an act to try and make themselves feel more important than they actually are.
“listen, sweetheart, we all know you do, so it’s best if you tell us the truth. I don’t think you’re a cold blooded monster, something must have happened in your past that would have forced you to do this.” 
He spoke with that tone that you hear when a person tries to fake understanding. A slow speech with a fake sympathetic pitch.
This goes on for a while. The man doing a pathetic job at whatever he was trying to do.
It’s no wonder they haven’t caught me if this joke is on the team.
They planned to keep me in a cell for the night while they try to find enough evidence that would justify keeping me, but they get a call before they do that.
“it’s your lucky day, sweetheart, a friend of yours is picking you up. I’d cherish that if I were you, your days as a free woman are limited now that I’m on your tail.”
He smiled. Clearly thinking that everything he says is worthy of being quoted.
I don’t say anything.
A friend?
They walk me out the police station, a man waiting outside there…for me.
The two men guiding me smile at the man, not happy that he was the reason they had to release me, before patting me on the shoulder firmly and walking away.
“hello, again”
Oh…..it’s him…….
He didn't look like how I thought he would. I was expecting a man with dark hair, bored eyes, maybe a piercing or something.
Instead he looked like the son a mom would brag about being on the football team. Tan skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, if I had to take a guess his name is Chad.
A disappointment honestly.
...
How the fuck does he know who I am? 
How the fuck did he know I was here?
How the-
“hi….again” I say back.
He walked away to a car that was parked closest to the police station entrance and opened the door for me. I got in. Being a slasher has the perks of not worrying about your safety a lot.
He got in after and started driving.
“it’s honestly insulting that you got caught by a team that bad”
“they didn’t “catch” me. They just got a lucky lead and are trying to connect it with me. They had me there for four hours, and didn’t have a lick of proper evidence against me.”
He chuckled.
“……”
“..what? silent all of a sudden? You playing your “I have the right to remain silent” card with me?”
“ you sent in that lead…didn’t you?”
“…..”
I squinted at him in disgust. Even slashers can’t keep their fucking mouths shut.
“now, don’t get angry with me, pretty girl, let’s make a deal, hmm?” he smirked.
He mistakenly took my silence as an invitation to continue, but I wasn’t having it. I wasn’t listening to another word coming out of his mouth.
“the deal is quite simp-“
I opened the car door and jumped out. I landed hard on the pavement and got scratched up quite a bit, but nothing serious. It helps to have slasher plot armor. It’s quite hard to kill us.
I heard the car come to screeching stop, but he was already too late. I ran away, and got out of view.
I knew I’d see him again later. Just because the police were on to me didn’t mean I would stop killing, nor would I move to a different area.
Being a slasher is more work than it’s worth sometimes. 
-✨🥐anon (sorry for any typos! Forgot that I teased this to you and forgot about it, so I haven't really read this since.)
LOL when darling would rather jump out of the car than hear him out 😭😭
also the “it helps to have plot armour” line tooK ME OUTTHSHH i hope one day i can be a fraction as funny as your darlings are 💔💔
this is such a fantastic idea, and something new compared to the usual slasher x final girl trope yk?
thank you for sending this in! good stuff as always :)
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seraphimaa · 5 hours
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Give me Raphael who, under the endless bravado and cockiness, is deeply repressed and virginal.
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Idk, maybe in devil culture he’s discouraged from exploring his sexual desires because nobody wants the shame that would be brought by his spawn and who would lower themselves to sleep with a half mortal/half fiend? Even if they did, why would he ever trust that their intentions were not to cause harm and chaos to him? That’s the belief he lives by and we see so many outlets for it in game. The kinky punishments for debtors, the obsession and torture of Hope, and even the Glug Glug 9000 that was gifted to him, because daddy knows that Raphael is being driven around by his cock. Raphael, I think, appears deeply uncomfortable and ashamed of his sexual needs and I think Haarlep’s comment of “he only loves himself” is true, but not just due to narcissism. He could fuck anyone, or anything, with Haarlep but I think, instead, he needs familiarity and the only thing he can be vulnerable in front of is himself. And not only that, he doesn’t see it as a time to exercise crazy desires but it needs to be methodical and controlled. Safe. Comfortable. Predictable.
So imagine, along comes this little mortal and like so many times before, he starts the dance he has done so many times. They blush when he says the right things, they hang on his every word, and they look at him with such longing. They are exactly where he needs them, and expects them to be. They’d fallen for the act and he was in complete control.
Until, all at once, he realises he isn’t.
Give me Raphael who has never known anyone’s tender touch but his own, but who can’t stop thinking about how yours would feel late or night or while playing with Haarlep. It haunts him and he hates himself for it.
Give me Raphael who starts to dare to imagine, as much as it tortures him, that someone could actually be his. He had caged the mortal parts of himself up so tightly but the need for someone who was made of the same wretched stuff as him, that could really see him and love him never goes away. Someone to share his empire with who would never betray him or disappoint him and who would would devote themselves completely to all that he was. It was lonely always being in top, he would come to admit.
Give me Raphael who for the first time in his life, starts to show himself to you bit by bit to you and you never shy away, despite all the parts of him, from the gentle to the downright depraved and animalistic. He has no clue what to do with this acceptance. It was a foreign thing. Something not meant for him. Give me Raphael who hates you for all of this. He knows your game. You’re trying to get to him and he will lot give you control. He starts feeding that depraved voice inside of him. All the things he would do to you. How he’d punish you and make you regret feeding the mortal inside of him, through the bars. You saw the him. Your understanding of his weaknesses is what you’d use to destroy him. He’d protected it all so well but this would be his undoing. His solution of denial and hate had never failed him, so far, so he’d revert to what he knows
Then…
Give me Raphael who, when you crawl unexpectedly up and onto his lap one evening, kissing and sucking at his neck, can do nothing other than pant and shake at your touch, blushing like a virgin. You’d be so soft and gentle and his ears would be filled with ringing, his own breathing, and your cruel voice, telling him to ‘just let go’. ‘It’s okay’. This moment would be devastatingly painful and euphoric. You’d finally done it. You’d ripped away the last of his control and power. You had finally reduced him to nothing - pathetic and whimpering. You’d bested him and he should have been drowning in the humiliation and shame but holy fuck it felt so good. For you, he’d slowly learn to share his control, sometimes. You were so gentle with him. Your soft hand would teach him a different way to tame the beast inside.
Look I’m an exclusive bottom, but shy and inexperienced Raphael who is putty in my hands? Bark bark bark bark
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moongothic · 5 months
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We all know how a lot of Luffy's opponents have been in some ways premonitions of the type of person Luffy could end up as if something went wrong in his life. For example Moria is what Luffy could've become had he truly lost his entire crew at Sabaody if Kuma had not saved them
And we know Crocodile is what Luffy maybe could've become had Luffy given up on his dreams and become jaded after losing to him. But like, when you think about it, that's not the only dark reflection of Luffy in Crocodile, is it
'Cause Crocodile, despite employing people for Baroque Works, did not trust anyone around him and did not considder anyone to be anything else but an employee to him. And we know he had been planning on taking over Alabasta for like 14 years (at the very least), BW being a thing for only the past four (pre-timeskip)
So like. Did Crocodile spend the last 14 years alone
Like yes he had his workers at the Casino and Robin etc, so he was like, around people, he wasn't like Brook who was in Total Isolation. But on an emotional level, has he not spent the last 14 years all by himself, completely detached from anyone, unable to trust or rely on anyone else?
That is sad as fucking shit, holy hell
'Cause then you compare him to like Luffy and like
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Our sweet baby boy was so afraid of being alone that Luffy literally went through hell just to gain Ace's approval despite Ace trying to signal to him he wasn't interested befriending him
And through out the whole series Luffy reiterates time and time again how he needs and wants his friends around because he literally can't live without them, both on a literal "he can't cook or navigate or have fun by himself" level but also on that emotional level
And Crocodile just. Spent 14 years of his life, if not longer, alone.
Sweet jesus what happened to this man
And that just makes me further wonder, what the absolute fuck were Crocodile's Rookie Pirate days like?? Like did he have a crew or was he just yolo'ing it by himself???
Like. Mihawk's never been on a crew as far as we know. Kuma was a Revolutionary, not a pirate, but he wasn't like alone still. Doflaming, Hancock, Jinbei and Moria however have/had crews of their own. So what was Crocodile's deal? Did he have a crew before? Was he a captain or was he on someone else's ship? (Although surely the Government wouldn't offer the position of a Shichibukai to a cabin boy or the first mate, right)
And if he did have a crew, the hell happened to them??
Like we know Crocodile got his ass kicked by Whitebeard, I just find it unlikely Whitebeard would've pulled a Kaidou on Crocodile's crew and slaughtered them, that's not a very Whitebeard-y thing do, right?? ...Unless Whitebeard was just different 20+ years ago and was willing to annihilate entire crews. We don't know. Or maybe Crocodile and his entire crew were like Turbo Rotten from the beginning and Whitebeard figured they deserved to get wiped out, much like how we saw Shanks wipe out Kid's crew at Elbaf. Or maybe Whitebeard saw no reason to have mercy on someone affiliated with the World Government.
That all said, if we wanted to assume Crocodile had somekind of trauma that lead to him viewing people not only as disposable but also untrustworthy, then maybe losing people dear to him like that wouldn't lead to that mindset. Like Moria witnessed his beloved crew die and that caused him to want to create a crew he couldn't die, so he wouldn't go through that emotional trauma again.
Which leaves me to wonder. If something caused him to lose his ability to (emotionally) trust people, and if Whitebeard broke his dreams... Maybe Crocodile had a crew. And maybe they abandoned him when he lost to Whitebeard. Figuring they didn't need a weak captain who was probably going to bleed to death anyways. Or maybe the crew tried to take his head (after Whitebeard kicked his ass), after all, he was already a Shichibukai, anybody who took Crocodile's head could maybe attempt to take that title for themselves if the Government allowed it, and if not, at least gain more fame for themselves.
Either of these scenarios would certainly result in you losing your ability to rely on others. And leave you willing to spend the rest of your life alone. Who would have in them to go through that again.
Or maybe he came out of the womb unable to trust people and he was just yolo'ing it by himself like Mihawk right from the begining, who knows
Regardless I'm just
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lunarrampage · 2 months
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I'm a big advocate of just blocking and moving on when seeing bad takes about your interests but that's mostly because I rarely travel outside the small circle of artists and mutuals I follow and ohhhh boy after having seen the worst take about a beloved blorbo I suddenly understand everything, it was like a redditer overtook my body and I almost went into a rage as I resisted the urge to "um actually" and type up an entire essay in ops comment section but I persevered. Are you all proud of me.
#im mostly being hyperbolic but gosh#it's still eating me up inside so i will continue to complain about it here in the tags lol#so just scroll away if you don't wanna see me complain about things that don't matter<3#anyway i just saw someone say how karlach worked dorna slaver and would still be working for him if he hadn't betrayed her#implying she was only against gortash because his actions directly affected her#when FIRST IF ALL SHE WAS AN ORPHANED CHILD WHO WAS MANIPULATED BY HIM#AND SHE EVEN SAID IN HER OWN WORDS THAT SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED FOR GORTASG IS SHE HAD KNOWN WHO HE TRULY WAS#SHE WAS A KID AND WORKED FOR AN AWFUL MAN AND MOST LIKELY DID SOME PRETTY MESSED UP THINGS FOR HIM THIS IS TRUE#BUT SHE WAS A CHILD AND SHE LOOKED UP TO HIM WHILE HE MANIPULATED HER SO SHE WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HIM AND DO WHAT HE SAID WITHOUT QUESTION#then he sold her to zariel and it wasn't until it was too late did she realize how evil gortash was#im unsure if she new he was a slaver when working for him but since she was a kid with nothing it's not like she's going to fully commit to#being a morally upstanding citizen when she literally couldn't afford it#saying karlach was only against gortash because his action affected her is BLATANTLY WRONG#she has flaws and is a deeply written characters and she cares so much about other people thats on of the reasons she worked with gortash#she cared about him and he used that to his advantage#okay rant over i love u karlach im sorry people refuse to look into your charcter beyond surface level assumptions </3#babbles#dear god there are so many typos. i aint retyping all that shit tho good luck deciphering that#i say as if anyone is gonna read it sjkdkf
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gayemeralds · 5 months
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pondering a titans rewrite. anyway i like the idea that jason shows up in the first season (which is dick-centered/Gotham&bludhaven-centered) like three times. first to establish dick’s strained connections and jealously over his robin mantle being taken from him, and bruce replacing him so easily after firing him. secondly for jason and dick to begin to connect as well as jason and gar to become friends since the original titans show seemed to want to imply that but then did nothing with it. and then the last time jason appears it’s because he ran away from Bruce and is looking to find his mother, sheila, but probably gets distracted in helping the titans. and then jason leaves to go find sheila and, well. i think we know what happens next
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spring-lxcked · 8 months
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i wrote my funt.ime foxy one time which means i now have brainrot abt how early on foxy absolutely has this mindset of like. that's my dad! my creator! i love him! and because there's a certain sentimentality involved in the fact that these are his creations and his alone, william isn't even like. opposed to that. like, william interacting with the classic animatronics and treating them as Just Robots even when they show signs of sentience due to possession/agony/remnant VS him very much interacting with the funt.imes as semi-sentient beings. and then there's foxy (and potentially the others) who isn't initially aware of what his purpose is, who is excited to entertain and show off and prove himself! and then has to come to grips with something extremely horrific that is fully out of her control and quite literally consumes her very nature.
these are the reasons i'm always talking abt beating my william to death on the multi
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shadowglens · 2 years
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nuala was already a fairly cold and distant person before becoming inquisitor, with at least a dozen different masks on rotation depending on the situation, but being betrayed so completely by solas ruined any chance she may have had at growing out of her bad habits
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vilestblood · 2 years
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I will say Antonín embodies the quality of independence (and freedom) to the point where it can turn into disloyalty and selfishness.
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galileosballs · 1 month
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I'm not going to discuss the Somerton response video in detail, but I wanted to make one quick point. About his explanation that his failure to cite derives from memory issues. Let's take that explanation at face value for a moment.
Memory issues (either of the diagnosable or undiagnosable variety) are very common in academia. I have a pretty terrible memory myself, also exacerbated by a serious head injury. And even a moment's reflection will reveal that academia is also chock full of old people. A poor memory in academia is not a novel thing at all.
So, how do you cite responsibly if your memory isn't perfect?
You don't rely on your memory to cite.
Even if you have a pretty good memory all things considered, trying to cite from memory is a suckers' game and it will betray you someday. You'll get two dates mixed up and then your argument is nonsense. You'll forget where you heard something and assume you came up with it. You'll miss some crucial detail when trying to reconstruct a claim you read three weeks ago and accidentally say the opposite. Your memory is not a good tool for this purpose.
So use a better tool. Take notes as you're reading. Whenever you're looking at something pertinent to your next project, you'd better be a) writing down what the source is and where to find it and b) what the key point you've found in it is.
Thankfully, we live in the 21st century and this is now a very easy thing to do. There are programs that will do most of the tedious author-date work for you and automatically pop up a little spot to write down your key points (I use Zotero, but there are other citation managers of similar quality out there). Then, before it's time to write, you can sit down, look at a convenient list of everything you've read with the key points all ready for you, and be very sure that you're not making any mistakes or plagiarizing anyone. The other bonus of using a citation manager program is that when it's time to construct the biliography, you just press a button and it's all there. I can't recommend these programs enough to anyone who is doing academic work of any kind.
There's an ask that's been sitting in my inbox that prompts me to talk about the 'lay academia' of sites like tumblr and youtube. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I will eventually write a big long piece on it, but the short version is that I think that lay academia is great. I love that tumblr is basically a collection hub for the research interests of thousands of scholars, and that there are more people who want to be scholars than I could possibly have imagined. My good dead friend Aristotle once said that 'all men* by nature desire to know' and buddy, you bet they do. And I also see a lot of these lay academics rediscovering the citation techniques of the real academe, which is great.
But when you've got a lay academia that hasn't been trained in the methods that professionals use, that lay academia can produce misinformation and model bad scholarly habits. Somerton is showing us that right now. If what he's saying about his memory is true and exculpatory (which we are assuming right now) then he should never have been trying to write public essays by memory. That's undergrad behaviour. That's a mistake you make when you haven't learned better the hard way yet. It's a clear sign that he was never prepared to do scholarly work on a public stage. It's cool that these websites have democratized the academy, but the consequence is that you can get very big without being very good. Or even knowing how to be good.
So, if you're reading this and thinking 'oh, but my memory-' well, this is your sign. If you have a tool you know doesn't work that well don't keep trying to use it. Find a strategy that will let you do good work without relying on that tool. You can't learn anything from Somerton. So at least try to learn from his mistakes.
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still shaking over last night’s episode. now it’s this close to debut time, the gloves have come off for mnet, and it’s obvious they’re doing everything they can to push the k trainees over the g trainees.
the only g trainee to get a proper good edit in these last two episodes was haruto (and if it had to be anyone im glad it was him), and that was mainly because he was doing EVERYTHING, mnet had no choice. everyone else? evil edited or erased from the edit entirely (this is also the second time mnet has teased an episode with haruto’s hilarious antics and then NOT SHOWN THEM).
#like. we couldnt spare a moment from the continued gross sexualisation of yujin (A MINOR) for anyone else???#you can say im biased bc im a jaystar. but what the FUCK was this episode for him#first he got barely any screentime in the filler. then we skipped him getting his position. then how he did in the evaluation. then recordin#all for the narrative of 'lee jeong ultimate all rounder!!!'. girl i like him but his vocals were FLAT live#and he had the most lines after jay#but they kept praising his average vocals all episode and shafted the most stable vocal on the show after hui#they shafted everyone actually. for the only k trainee on the team. the favouritism is so blatant that its disrespectful#him being put in the center for the posters when hao was the killing part??? that was so foul not even the favourite g trainee escaped it#circling back. i never expected jay to get first. but last? LAST? WHEN HE WAS CARRYING THE VOCAL PERFORMANCE ON HIS BACK? AFTER THOSE ADLIBS#AND THAT HE EXPECTED IT BC HE SAID PPL WERENT CHEERING FOR HIS PARTS#so i listened to the full performance video. and you can HEAR the audience go quiet when he sings#it was so heartbreaking esp bc he was the most friendly with the audience. and they betrayed him#this is the same crowd that voted for gyuvin's off beat rap over gunwook and hui so i expected bad things. but THIS? *WHAT*#anyway moving past that. smn got a full arc as i expected but i suspect some damage has already been done to matthew with knetz voters#they did well but their vocals were SO obviously polished in post. the only one i believe sounded that smooth and stable was seungeon#bc he always sounds like that. even in the training room. without trying. that's my titanium voiced baby!!!#im just going to. skip over the massive yujin focus (as usual) to say i was rooting for lipj in the beginning. but i hate her so much now#LEAVE THAT CHILD ALONE YOU FREAK. only solji stayed out of it. that's mother its true#lipj also only bringing jay up to make fun of him after the performance... i'll kill her i will#switch had the best atmosphere but i knew it was going to come last anyway bc it was the least favourite song of most people#i feel so bad for them esp for the trainees that got kicked out. but it was the expeccted result#phanbin earns that first place every time and i love him for it. he puts his blood sweat and tears into every team and it always pays off#KEITA LOSING CONFIDENCE BROKE MY HEART. he was the best rapper but he willingly volunteered for the worst part that put him in the back.#AND HES SHORT SO YOU CANT SEE HIM PAST SHUAIBO'S PARTY CITY HAIR EXTENSIONS MOST OF THE TIME#overall. over me winning made all the bullshit worth it- i seriously thought they might lose to smn or en garde- but the rest was...#justice for jay justice for g group and jail for all the weirdos being creepy to yujin#boys planet#boys planet episode 10
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livinginshambles · 4 months
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No, you listen to me | James Potter
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Pairing: James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3.6k
Summary: Aftermath of when you ran away from the Yule ball, cinderella style. after the Christmas holidays, both of you return to hogwarts with different objectives. James tries to find out who you are. You try to make sure he never will.
Notes: Not proofread. Mistakes. Once again because people keep forgetting, english is my third language, be kind. Themes of bullying, discrimination, very bad sister relationships. Regulus is like a BROTHER. James tries?
Masterlist Part one. Part three
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Your eyes scanned across the parchment, rereading James’ apology, but all you could really feel was disappointment and anger. What was even the point of trying to prove anyone wrong? You leaned back against the cushions of the armchair and pulled your knees up, wrapping your arms around them to steadily lock them in place. Then you let your head drop.
You pressed your watering eyes into your knee, effectively letting your pajama pants soak up any tears that threatened to fall. You gently rocked yourself back and forth while you tried to clear your mind. You wouldn’t let any of this get to you.
A hand pressed itself to your back, right between your shoulder blades. “Let’s get you out of here,” Regulus spoke up. His tone was hard, but only because of his clenched jaw when he thought back to how you had run off with a betrayed look. The second he realized it was James who was the mystery guy, he had kept a close eye. He knew things wouldn’t end well with those prejudiced twats, and he was right.
You pathetically looked up at him, and Regulus didn’t bother to hide his grimace at the sight of your face.
“Don’t exaggerate you arse,” you mumbled and shoved him light-heartedly.
“Back at you,” Regulus shot back. Then he sighed and motioned for you to scootch over so he could squeeze himself to fit in the armchair with you. “I know you. And I know you know what my brother and his friends are like. Why are you so disappointed?”
You stared at the lit fireplace, lost in thoughts, and eventually shrugged when Regulus nudged you out of your train of thoughts.
“I guess- I really liked the guy on the other side of the paper. And I really hoped that maybe he’d be in there somewhere. And I suppose that for a moment I actually thought James Potter was alright, you know?”
Regulus scrunched his nose in distaste. “Not at all, but go on.”
You shook your head in amusement at him, but let your eyes soften. “I’m sorry Reg,” you whispered.
“What for?”
“Making you listen to me whining about a guy that I know you have personal issues with.” You decided not to mention out loud the fact that those personal issues included the way Sirius had left Regulus behind in that household, escaping to live with the Potters and going as far as publicly calling James his true brother. Found family, he had proudly said.
Regulus knew what you were referring to. He smiled bitterly. “Well, brothers are overrated anyways. I’d much rather have a sister,” he said while nudging you again.
You hummed in contemplation. “I don’t know Reg; I’ll have to disagree with you on this one. I’d much rather have a brother than any number of sisters.”
“How convenient for us.”
“Very convenient indeed,” you smiled happily.
Regulus got up suddenly and turned to you with a stretched out hand. You raised an eyebrow at him.
“I meant what I said, you know. Let’s get you out of here. I do recall you promising me tea at your new apartment.” He looked at his pocket watch. “Well, it’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and the first train leaves at 6. What’s the difference between leaving in the evening or right now.”
“You absolute champ.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
You laugh whole-heartedly and stuff the parchment in your transfigurations book. You and Regulus took the first train and left Hogwarts behind for the Christmas holidays. A break would do you good. Godric knows you needed to get James off your mind.
James carefully placed the glass slippers in his suitcase and covered them with a few sweaters just in case. He had caught the elves recklessly throwing suitcases into the storage compartment of the Hogwarts express before. You’d think that the use of magic would come in handy for tasks like this, but no.
“Prongs, I got you this?” Sirius pushed a sheet of bubble wrap into James’ arms. James offered Sirius an appreciative look.
After thoroughly explaining everything, from the moment when he found the parchment, to who you were and why he decided that he wanted to become someone you would approve of, Sirius had pieced the rest together and apologized to James for leaving such a shit impression on his mystery date.
James sheepishly pointed at his own solution. “Should I change it?”
“Well, I mean did you see how the elves throw around with our luggage?”
James mirrored Sirius' grin. This break truly came at a perfect time. After all, James would let you occupy his mind as much as he needed to find out who you were.
Two weeks flew by in a blur. You and Regulus had set up a Christmas tree inside your small apartment and had made a competition out of finding the most impressive gift for each other, with only 10 galleons.
You had found the most gorgeous black quill and enchanted ink set for him and were rather confident until Regulus had somehow shown up with what looked like emerald, antique and gorgeously over the top earrings. You had shot him a look and he had immediately provided a receipt to prove he had played fair.
“I just have great negotiating skills,” he’d said.
You had hummed skeptically in reply but had happily tried them on.
All in all, the holidays were a very welcome break for you. Which is why you were so very reluctant to pack your bags. The door to your room opened and Regulus stood in the entrance, leaning against the door frame.
“Get out,” you groaned in dismay at the interruption. Regulus shot you an unimpressed look.
“Not until I see you pack; we leave in less than an hour.”
You huffed in annoyance and threw a pillow at his head. “I’m not asking you again, Black.” You flopped back down on your bed dramatically in dismay at the prospect of going back to Hogwarts. Regulus elegantly tilted his head and let the pillow fly past him.
“One hour,” he enunciated, before walking off.
You threw another pillow his way and yelled, “Close the door when you leave, you twat!”
With a flick of his wand, your door closed.
Regulus waited for you with a bag in his hand.
“Where’s the rest of it,” you teased as you motioned to the small amount of luggage he held.
Regulus turned red but stuck his chin up. “Left them here for the summer,” he off-handedly replied. You laughed. “Great, so you can help carry this bag then,” you grinned and pushed your smaller bag into his hands while you marched out the door with your heavy luggage, dragged behind you.
When you entered the platform, and were handed the Hogwarts newspaper, you did not expect to find a picture of you and James at the Yule ball on the front page. ‘Who are you, Willow?’
You immediately folded the paper together and looked up in panic at Regulus. He looked around and found different students excitedly chittering to each other, all while pointing at the newspaper.
“That is so romantic,”
“I thought James was with Lily?”
“No, they’re just friends now.”
“I was wondering who he was dancing with.”
“She looks so pretty.”
“If I found out that my date was James Potter, I’d take off that mask immediately.”
“Well, she could just be shy.”
“So true, probably Hufflepuff, don’t you think?
“I really hope he finds her.”
You grimaced at everyone and all you wanted to do was disappear. “Relax, Y/N,” Regulus smoothly pulled you on board the Hogwarts Express. “No one will know it’s you.”
Despite knowing that he was absolutely right, you still faced the floor as you looked for an empty compartment. You didn’t realize that you were passing James, who had just come back from a train meeting with the other prefects. He had picked up on Regulus’ words and frowned. But before he could really stop to consider Regulus’ statement, Peter happily waved at him from the marauders’ compartment. “We’re over here!” he called out. James forgot about what he heard.
Remus held the newspaper up in the air when James finally took a seat. “Really?”
“It was Pad’s idea,” James immediately said.
Peter curiously grabbed the newspaper. “Any results?”
James shrugged. “It’s only the first day,” he tries to convince himself, but he was not very sure about this approach to find you.
“It’s going to work out, trust me,” Sirius said. “When she sees that you’re going to this extent to find her, you’ll definitely woo her for sure,” he claimed.
Remus pulled a face. “I mean, if she ran off cause you two were being pricks, again,” he gave both Sirius and James a sharp look. “And hasn’t answered any of your messages, I don’t think starting a witch-hunt of sorts is the way to find her,” he voiced out his opinion. ”She clearly doesn’t want to be found.”
“What are you calling my methods bad?” Sirius squinted his eyes at Remus in mock offense.
“I’m just saying they wouldn’t exactly woo me,” Remus dryly remarked.
“And yet-“
“Guys,” James interrupted. “I just want to find her and apologize. And ask her for another chance to prove that I’m more than what she saw.”
“Well,” Peter started. He turned red when all eyes were suddenly on him. “She will probably not reveal herself. But she’s still a student here. And she knows who you are. So maybe if you publicly show off kind acts, she’ll see how you can be?”
There was a beat of silence and for a moment, Peter wanted to change into a rat and crawl into a hole to hide. But suddenly he was patted on the back by James. “Peter, you absolute champ!”
James Potter was acting weird, and you knew exactly what he was trying to do. You huffed to yourself as you marched right past him while he held the door open for his friends and you, who trailed in right behind them.
Previously, James would have definitely let the door fall in your face, and you had anticipated so, thus smoothly switching your books to your left arm, putting your right hand in front of you in a bracing manner. And so it happened that you stood there frozen, hand flat against James' chest, because he had turned around fully to hold the door open for you.
You embarrassedly dropped your hand that still lingered against him, and a deep frown settled on your face.
“I’d take ten points from Slytherin for touching a student without their consent, but I suppose I’ll let it slide for today,” he arrogantly said. You wanted to beat him up. But you supposed you could let it slide for today. You scowled at him and fled past him towards your designated seat.
Something tugged inside James’ chest as he watched you turn your back towards him and hurry away. He walked to join the rest of the marauders, a ghost feeling of your palm against his chest.
It hadn’t just been you that he was more civilized with. You noticed when you found him volunteering in the library, putting away books back on the shelves manually. This bothered you, because he tended to specifically linger around the particular section in the back about Egyptian rites, your favorite. You knew he was there to hopefully spot any often-returning students.
You also noticed that less and less students were coming back to the common room, hexed. Aside from snide remarks, you hadn’t encountered much animosity from him anymore either.
Instead, you found yourself on assigned patrol with him, despite the fact that Regulus had kindly offered to jinx his broom during Quidditch practice so you wouldn’t have to.
“So,” James broke the silence. “How was your holiday?”
“Why do you want to know,” you immediately shot back before you could stop yourself. James raised his hands in surrender. “Woah, sorry, L/N, just making conversation here.”
You sighed and forced your shoulders to lose their tension. “It was fine.”
“Fine.” James repeated.
“Fine,” you confirmed.
That was the end of your conversation, in your opinion. James however, seemed to think differently.
“So did you get any nice presents?”
You shot him an annoyed look but ended up answering anyway. “Yes actually, Regulus got me these earrings,” you said, and you tilted your head to show him. James’ eyes lingered on your earrings. They looked good on you. The exaggerated gem made you stand out despite your sober attire.
“What else?”
“What do you mean, what else?”
“Why, did your parents not buy you anything or what?”
You halted mid-step and stared up at James. He noticed that he had said something wrong, and when your sisters came to mind, he hurriedly tried to take his words back. You didn’t let him.
“I don’t go home for the holidays,” you settled on. “I’m not particularly welcome there. My parents are as big of a fan of me, as Alyssa and Marla are.” You laughed bitterly and continued walking. James followed behind you, he didn’t say a word, instead waited for you to continue.
“Well, I’m in Slytherin after all. Which obviously equals being an evil blood supremacist. They wouldn’t want to associate themselves with that, of course,” you sarcastically remarked.
James felt guilt slowly seep in. Your words resonated in his mind and his hands grasped the folded parchment in the pocket of his robes tightly. Those were his exact same words of that night at the Yule ball, and he bit his lip. “I’m sorry.”
You looked up at him, surprise evident in your eyes. “You’re sorry?” You asked him in disbelief.
James nodded. If he couldn’t say it to his mystery girl, at least he could say it to you, he figured.
James watched your eyes light up slightly and for a moment, he was lost in a trance. He snapped out of it when you returned the question. “So how was your holiday?”
He grinned at the olive branch that you were reaching out. “Mine was fine.”
“Fine?”
“Fine,” he teased. You fought the smile that threatened to tug on your lips.
Patrol ended without any incidents to report and when you wrote that down, James peered over your shoulder to catch your circled dot on the ‘i’ of “nothing to report.” A sense of déjà vu dawned on him, but the sheer unconscious refusal to even consider you a possibility kept your secret safe.
When you were in bed that night, you couldn’t help but think about how at ease you had felt for the remainder of the night with James, basking in the familiarity of the person behind the paper.
With every patrol, you two put another step forward in the direction of a friendship of some sorts.
James couldn't deny the fact that with each time, he started to look forward to the next time, almost the same giddy feeling fluttering in his stomach as each time he would unfold his parchment to find new kind words written there.
You and Willow would be friends, James thought, as he looked at you while you were casually explaining Transfiguration to him while you two strolled through the corridors, not without the occasional insult at his 'lack of competence'.
But for now, James enjoyed the privilege of calling you by your first name. A friend of some sorts, he liked to think.
Perhaps he was wrong about Slytherins. Sure, there were some rotten apples, but he supposed there were rotten apples in each house. And you weren't so bad after all.
For the first time in a long time, you enjoyed your days at Hogwarts. Truly enjoyed them. You would send Regulus to the library to get you your favourite books, and would patrol every Thursday with James unless he had Quidditch practice. Then you would patrol with Abrams. You’d come across James, who would nod with a kind smile at you as you two have come to be cautious friends and patrol-partners. You hadn’t really heard anything from your sisters either, which was absolute bliss as well.
But then one day, you were studying Transfiguration by yourself in the library, and you just so happened to need to go to the bathroom. When you returned, you noticed your book was missing and you pulled a sour face before requesting a new one from Professor McGonagall who had looked over her glasses at you.
But that hadn’t been the bad part. No, the bad part was that you had completely forgotten that you had put your enchanted parchment that connected yours to James’ inside that book.
Sirius had victoriously grinned at his funny prank idea. He would change some spells in your book so that you would mess up and become a toad in class. He tossed the book on a table in the common room and a piece of paper slid out.
Sirius had seen the piece of paper before, and his eyes grew as wide as saucers. He jumped up, ran towards his room, and rummaged through James’ nightstand before finding James' parchment under his pillow and wrote something on it. He walked back down the stairs with James’ paper, and he watched in disbelief as a messy ‘hello’ appeared on the paper that your sisters now held. “Merlin,” he breathed out, but your sisters had already stormed out of the room.
You entered the Great Hall and felt everyone staring at you and whispering. Even fellow Slytherin students looked at you in contempt. You gave Regulus a confused look when you walked to the free seat next to him. He quietly slid over the Hogwarts newspaper.
Front page again. ‘Mystery girl uncovered. Not a Willow, but a Hanging Tree.”
You didn’t need to read the rest; you tore your eyes away from the paper. Tears threatened to spill, but you tried to keep a cool front. You turned around to look for James and found him and his friends sitting right behind you.
Whoever thought that putting The Gryffindor table and Slytherin table next to each other should rot in the dungeons, you bitterly thought.
It was your sister who spoke up first. “I can’t believe someone like you would make themselves out to be a victim. ‘Oh no, my sisters bully me,’” she mocked you.
You felt heat rise to your cheeks and got up. She got up as well and you stood eye to eye with each other. “You’re pathetic,” She sneered. “You’re the real mistake here. So go do what you do best- run away.”
You wanted to say something. Anything. But you felt weak and small again. So you turned around and walked away. Whispers continued to fill the room as everyone seemed to have something to say about you.
“How embarrassing.”
“She should be ashamed”
“A Slytherin like her?”
“She definitely wasted James’ time.”
With every comment you heard, you bit harder on the inside of your cheek, and when that last comment dropped, you balled your fists. Why should you be the one to walk away?
You turned around furiously and marched back towards James, who had gotten up to follow you and reached out his hand. You recoiled.
“Y/N, listen-“
“No, you listen to me,” you spat at him. You looked him up and down with a pained look, holding back tears of frustration and while trying to convey as much disgust as you could.
“If you didn’t like what you found out, you could’ve kept it to yourself and thrown the damn paper away. You had no right to publicly try to humiliate me like this. All of your kindness in an attempt to be a good person only shows how wretched you really are when you stop pretending and act cruelly true to yourself.”
James' eyes flashed with hurt and he shook his head, words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to cover his ears; he didn’t want to hear you say this to him. This isn’t what he wanted at all. You were wrong. He didn’t even know it was you until he saw the newspaper this morning.
But you weren’t finished talking yet.
“Has it ever even occurred to any of you,” you looked at the people behind him. You stared your sisters dead in the eye. “That maybe your prejudice and thoughtless assumptions and insults about how awful or evil we Slytherins are, is the very thing that pushes us down that path?”
You turned your attention back to James, who had an unreadable expression on his face now. “Your cruel comments are part of the reason and you, James Potter, are especially cruel.”
Your tone was sharp, face hardened and the entire Great Hall had fallen silent. Not even the professors spoke up. James felt like you had hit him in the face, and you might as well have. He looked down in shame at your words.
You shakily let out your breath and lowered your voice again. This time, you sounded tired. Reality seemed to dawn upon you that everyone in the great hall was listening to you, and you shook your head to yourself, taking a step back. You scoffed softly.
“I suppose you are truly worthy of the Gryffindor name; overly proud and arrogant in the name of bravery with a tendency to prove yourself, disregarding others and their feelings.” Your venomous words cut through James' heart.
James watched you walk away again and everything around him seemed to fade. He was losing you again. How had he not seen this?
Your situation with your sisters. The way you ran away at the Yule ball when he made a crude remark about Slytherins. The sense of déjà vu every time you walked past him, back turned towards him. Your handwriting. The feeling of your hand pressed to his chest just as when you two danced. The way you were great at transfiguration and could have easily transfigured those glass slippers. The way Regulus was the only student to frequently visit your favourite book section in the library. The chills you had sent down his back when you had allowed him to call you by your first name, and in return had called him James.
‘I’m in Slytherin after all. Which obviously equals being an evil blood supremacist.’
‘No one will know it’s you.’
Everyone knows.
Preview if interested
Part three
Taglist:
@k0z3me @magical-spit @bouearis @sprinkled-strawberry-donut @sammy-4103 @imsirius01 @xxrougefangxx @lilianelena39 @bubybubsters @cyphah @handybrownpurse @joeytribbiani18 @letssee2468 @stunkbiggu @unstablefemme @charmingpatronus @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @sadpetalsstuff @hisparentsgallerryy @luvly-writer @starsval @thisisasecretsstuff @theweasleyskettle @thisisasecretsstuff @urmomw4ntsme @krillfromsky @ietss @itsberrydreemurstuff @alexandra-001 @prongsprincessworld @lilsunshine1092 @hawkinsavclub1983 @rinrinslovebot @fluffybunnyu @fearlessmoony @lavenderwisteria @darkenwolfie @gengen64 @grandtheoristpeach @anehkael @lunasolac @targaryenmoony @jasminesacademia @mr-underhills-things
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waokevale · 2 months
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Introducing Follower gang!
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There. Finally did all the Bishops follower designs!
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The 7 deadly sins
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And some other follower gang, done with lineart this time because the other 2 pieces made me lose my soul for how long they took.
(Also a small HC if I may: Dr. Sozonius is trapped inside the mushroom on Sozos head, while the actual mushroom is controlling his body)
+ some more doodles
Info about the 7 Sins and more doodles below:
Jeg represents Greed - he was one of the first of Lamb's followers. (At first, it was very difficult for Lambert to indoctrinate people, due to their inexperience, this guy was like the 5th or so) Jeg has...a very specific personality to say the least, yet the Lamb can't help but be fond of him. They eventually nominate him the Tax enforcer role and...That might've been the worst decision of their life. But they did not take the role away. Jeg acts smug 24/7 and relishes in his new power, but deep down, dudes pretty insecure, ( but don't tell anyone!) He used to have a huge crush on the lamb, but then Narinder and eventually the other bishops came, and since their leader was for some reason head over heels for the ex god of death, Jeg grew bitter and often got into fights with Nari, as well as charging him and his other siblings more than the average follower. Though he's mostly mellowed out since then.
Brash represents Gluttony They despise Helob, since they used to fight for "food" a lot, and eventually Brash got really injured and was found by the Lamb. She tried to eat them, but was quickly disarmed. Despite this, they decided to spare him and bring his sorry ass back to the cult to indoctrinate. They were very cunning and didn't trust the lamb either, but eventually they cooled off and accepted the new life. She still eats people tho, just not from the cult, otherwise jail or *worse*
Yara represents Pride She is one of the core followers. She's very strict and somewhat self-centered, she likes things done her way, or if not her way, the lambs way. Period. No one else can boss her around or even give a helpful advice. She's actually a pretty stand up deer, and despite being incredibly stubborn still makes a good friend. She gets along with most people though Brash annoys her, since he keeps snatching body parts off corpses. She has always been extremely devoted to the lamb and will be annoyed if any follower dissents and tries to preach against them. She wasn't surprised in the slightest when they eventually took down all the bishops.
Thorn represents Envy He had a pretty terrible life before the cult. When he was brought in, she was bitter about her newfound situation. He wasn't very trusting of the lamb and thought they expected something out of her (which technically they did, but it's just work). He envies the fools who are so oblivious and just do everything as they're told and let their lives be guided by some amateur god. Similar to the other two, he puts on a mask, He often acts overly saccharine to hide his true feelings, but doesn't have any bad intentions. (Most of the time) She does genuinely like some people, but others, he only pretends to like to appease the lamb or to blackmail them. He hates when the people he actually cares about are threatened.
Jermo represents Wrath Jermo absolutely does not trust anyone. Similar to Thorn, and most other followers tbh, their life was absolutely horrible prior to the cult. They trusted some people, they got betrayed, and almost died several times because of it. It was extremely difficult for the lamb to make them stop dissenting. They legit had to give them the loyalty necklace in order for them to finally stop dissenting. Jermo keeps getting into fights with other followers, because they feel as though everyone is always against them or is constantly judging them. (They're technically not wrong) They've died 5 times, because they keep getting into fights with other followers. Lamb strongly considered keeping them dead, but decided to challenge themself with them (also they're too cuddly to just be killed off) Despite their many, *many* flaws, Thorn has a huge crush on them, since he's one of the people who managed to see their soft side. Jermo, deep, deep, deep down actually cares a lot, but they've been hurt too much by everyone, so they retaliate for the same stuff to not repeat.
Herett represents Lust At some point, she passingly heard about the cult and since it seemed like a peaceful place from the rumors (and also had hot people in it) she eagerly joined in. She's usually in the kitchen area, if not hanging around the love tent or babysitting some kids. She crushes on almost everyone, but for some reason she hates Kallamar (legit in my actual game she rejected him so hard, despite having the lustful trait and not caring prior)
Mateo represents Sloth Is perhaps the 1st or 2nd of Lambs followers, so they're absolutely not letting go of him, dudes lived 4 long lives and is tired of it, he keeps switching jobs since with age he's been slacking off more. He's currently stuck as a janitor (he hates it) He's also one of the few people who managed to befriend Jermo, his mellow, don't care attitude is somewhat comforting to them. Aside that, he gets along with almost everyone, as best as he can at least.
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Not much else to say about the gang in the third pic but Riley and Dannie are platonic bffs and were forced to babysit kids when the lamb was crusading. The lamb was a little incompetent here to give carnivores children to take care of, but thankfully they actually managed to be good with them and got used to being on nanny duty.
The capybara (Beige) is a retired teacher and adopted a little owlet to take care of (Chip)
While Femur is our below yellow cat, and that's my HC name for him. He's a gatherer here.
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