#he is truly the most incredible dancer i will never stop screaming about it

[guillotinebypierre]

It was the night of the Melon Music Awards.

Award season was going strong and the Daesangs were passed around to the usual suspects, or so people thought.

This year things were different, very much so from the average year. This year there was one man, nay one phenomenon who had been sweeping the grand price at every award show he went to.

Y/n L/n, soloist under High Up Entertainment, whose only other noteworthy act was StayC.

Y/n, also known as the 4th gen IT boy, the nation's dream boy and many other, some of them not so PG, nicknames, had debuted this year and was on a streak of breaking records after records, earning him the title of "The Greatest Thing to Happen to Kpop since BTS"

The main appeal of Y/n was that he wasn't only self produced, an incredibly talented singer, songwriter and rapper, one of the best dancers in the industry according to a survey answered by idols in the industry, but also his ethereal visuals. Y/n stood out from the bunch due to his confidence, his height and his impeccable discography.

To many idols, both male and female, Y/n was the definition of crush material. And one of them specifically wanted to use today as an opportunity to finally claim the nation's IT boy as her own.

--3rd Person POV--

Yuna had been eyeing Y/n the whole night, some may even say the whole year. Ever since he debuted she was always talking about his music on Vlives, reposting herself listening to him on Instagram and so much more.

She knew she was wanted by damn near the whole industry and she knew she could have any of them, but none of them were Y/n L/n. None of them had what she truly needed, what she desired.

The night had been another one for the history books, with Y/n dropping another masterclass of a performance and sweeping yet another set of awards, but it was nearing the end.

"And the last award of the night, the award for the Album of The Year goes to......Y/n L/n!"

Soon after the announcer finished his speech confetti shot out on the stage. The camera pans towards a tall man, 20 years of age. He's wearing black a three piece suit, tailor made and exclusively designed for him by Dior, and a black Dior tie . His stance, his confidence, his fragrance, everything about him screams wealth and confidence. His handsome face shows a smile as he stands up and walks up to receive his award.

"I know you might be sick of seeing my face at this point and I'm sorry for that! I want to thank all my fans for everything they've done for me, coming from a smaller company I didn't really expect to achieve this level of fame yet but I am happy to give both me, our company and my lovely StayC sunbaenims more exposure! I want to thank Dior for making this outfit for me tonight and I want to thank everyone who streamed my music! I'll be releasing more next year so be tuned for that. Lastly, I'd like to thank all my peers, ranging from BTS, Red Velvet and TWICE sunbaenims, to NewJeans, IVE, Le Sserafim and Aespa and Itzy noonas for creating music. Your music is amazing and it definitely motivates me to continue making music myself! Please never stop because I love every single one of you! Thank you for another award and good night!"

And with that, Y/n left the stage while the whole building clapped for him. The groups mentioned, blushing while doing so, clapped even harder as they believed this would help them get closer to Y/n.

The night continued and after the event a party for all of the artists was held. To many, this meant drinking and letting lose but to others, it meant getting drunk and getting laid.

--Y/n POV--

I watched as my peers around me let lose a little. It was a nice sight to see if I'm honest. Most of them are way too stuck up due to companies putting bullshit rules on their dating lives and on their personalities. It was nice seeing them unfiltered for once.

Speaking of being comfortable, I finally got around to take off a bit of clothing. I had taken off my jacket and vest, leaving me only in my tie and dress shirt, of which I had rolled up the sleeves to get a bit more comfortable.

"Y/n congratulations on the win!~", a obviously drunk Karina told me as she went for a hug.

"Thank you so much Jimin. You and the girls were great during your performance, I loved your outfits", I replied while hugging her. Even with the strong smell of alcohol on her I still could smell her perfume.

"Thank you baby~ Say, how about we get out of here Y/nn? I really want to spend some time with you alone", Karina told me in a sultry tone.

"Rina I'm flattered but you're obviously drunk. How about I give you my number and we spend some time some other day when you're sober again?", I replied while holding her so that she didn't fall to the ground.

"Gladly~", she replied while giving me her phone.

I typed my number in and saved it before searching for her members and her manager. I looked around for a while before finding Winter and Giselle next to a sleeping NingNing. As I walked towards them Karina started hugging and snuggling up to my side, which made a certain blonde stare daggers into her head.

"Girls please help me with your drunk leader.", I started before dropping onto the couch next to NingNing.

"Oh~ Wha- Y/n? What are you doing here?", NingNing asked me, a bit startled.

"Sorry for waking you up Ning. I was looking for your manager because I think it would be better if you girls went home now.", I told her

Soon after that I spotted their manager appearing, seemingly out of nowhere and looking stressed.

"Manager-nim! Can we go home now? It's getting boring and Jimin had too much to drink already.", Giselle told their manager.

"Sure-" "

Y/nn I don't want to leave you yet~", Karina interrupted them while 'crying'. God knows why she started being cutesy but it was kinda working on me.

"Rina I promise I'll call you after I get home, we can definitely do something tomorrow but now it's better if you went home and slept for a bit.", I told Karina while holding her face forcing her to look me in the eyes.

It was as if she was in a trance and I'm not quite sure if she even heard me but all she said was "Ok" and with that Aespa said their goodbyes and left.

Now it was like before, I was alone and everyone else was having fun. Of course occasionally artists would come up to me and congratulate me. I was especially surprised and moved by Red Velvet and Twice appearing and thanking me for the words I said towards them, but also by Minji from NewJeans, who came up to me and asked me for my number while stuttering, which I found really cute.

However, it soon died down and with everyone being drunk I was about to leave until-

"Y/n wait up!", someone called me from behind.

"Yuna?", I stated questioningly before turning around.

"Wow you really know my voice that well?~ Am I your bias or how did you recognize me that easily?", the gorgeous blonde teased me.

"You are my bias, yeah, but I also noticed you staring at me a long time from that corner over there. Where you mustering up the courage to come up to me all that time?~", I teased her back which resulted in her becoming as red as a tomato.

"Y-Yah it's not my fault you're so intimidating. Doesn't help that you're that handsome either", She said while whispering the last part.

"Anyways, what's up Yuna? Why'd you call me?", I questioned her

"Ah right! You seemed really bored, just like me, so I wanted to ask if you'd like to do something? Drinking isn't really for me since and everyone else but you is damn near blackout drunk soooo", She said while looking up to me.

I smiled at her before agreeing to her offer, which seemingly flipped a switch in her as she now stared at me with lust and hunger in her eyes.

"What did you have in mind noona?", I asked her

"Aish I'm barely older than you, you can drop the honorifics Y/n", she replied while grabbing my hand and dragging me off.

It was dark and I barely couldn't see where we were going, the light only allowed me to see what was in front of me.

We soon reached a door and Yuna walked inside, the bright light startling me due to the contrast to the dark corridors of the venue. I soon realised that she took me to a bathroom and I then realised what kinda of activity Yuna had planned for us.

I turned around and took in her outfit. The lighting in the previous rooms had not done her any justice. It was as if Aphrodite herself had stepped down from heaven and was now reborn as Shin Yuna. She wore a short black dress, designed by Prada for her, matched with high heels that made her damn near 6 feet tall. She had a Louis Vuitton bag in her hand. Her make up was impeccable, it was natural while putting focus on her beautiful features and bringing them out even more. Her lips were full and glossy, natural in their colour and still so beautiful. Her big eyes stared at me, lust evident in them, while blonde hair fell over her shoulders and covered a bit of her forehead. She still still had fake tattoos on her arm from her group's performance. To put it simply, she was ethereal.

"Take a picture it'll last longer", She said, taking you out of your train of thought.

"I'm sorry for staring, you're just really gorgeous", I told her while walking up to her.

She smiled and closed the distance. Our faces were now centimeters apart from each other.

"I'm sure you know why I took you here, don't you big boy? I know you've been given enough prizes already but theres one right in front of you and she wants to be taken by you too." She said before finally closing the distance completely.

It was as if time stopped for a second, my brain was overstimulated due to her scent and the taste of her lips. They tasted sweeter than the sweetest cherries I had ever eaten and it was addicting. Our tongues battled for dominance and we both tried, and failed, to take each others clothes off while making out. I grabbed the straps of her dress and let them fall off her shoulders while she fumbled to get my tie off.

I helped her with taking my shirt and tie off while she took off the rest of her dress. After what felt like an eternity, we both reluctantly stopped kissing in order to catch our breath. I looked her, seeing her only in her bra and panties, while she stared at my abs and chest.

"Take a picture it'll last longer", I told her while smirking

"Shut up and kiss me you idiot", She replied while closing the distance again.

This time she jumped onto me, which gave me the message she wanted me to sit her on the sink. I carried her over and continued making out with Itzy's maknae. My hands found their way towards her waist, gripping it firmly, while her arms interlocked behind my neck, forcing my tongue, which was now inside her mouth, even deeper down her throat. I removed one hand from her waist and expertly took off my belt in one swift motion, letting my pants drop to the floor.

We broke off our kissing and I looked at the goddess in front of me. Her lips were swollen, her eyes dripping with lust and her breathing rapid and uneven.

"I want to taste you.", I told her assertively.

She didn't respond but instead looked me in the eyes, practically begging me to do so, so I did.

I took off her bra and started working on her breasts. I sucked on the skin around them before moving onto the nipples. I played with one of them while sucking the other and vice versa, always making sure to threat them equally. I felt her look at me which made me assume Yuna looked down on me, probably smiling and taking a mental picture of the situation. I knew of her crush on me, the girl wasn't hiding it very well and I'm not stupid nor oblivious, but I can say that I was surprised of her courage to shoot her shot like this.

I continued moving down, liking up and down her toned, flat stomach before making my way to the main dish. She wore black semi see through panties and I quickly noticed that they were damp. I teased her a bit by kissing around her core, licking her inner thighs and biting the flesh, before diving in and pressing my tongue on her clothed vagina. She threw her head back and it was in that moment that I realized that her panties were not damp, they were soaked. I took them off with my teeth, sliding them down to her legs before raised them in order for me to take them off completely. I looked at her pussy. The scent was driving me crazy. It looked freshly shaven and, just as anyone with more than one functioning brain cell could've guessed, was very clean too. I didn't want to waste more time and dove in tongue first. I liked around her outer labia while making circles with my thumb on her erect clit. Yuna was in heaven as far as I could tell based one her moans and how hard she was gripping my hair, so I decided to add even more stimulation. I stuck my tongue inside her wet core, tongue fucking her while continuously playing with her clit and now also her nipples. After a while I switched it up, latching my mouth onto her clit before sticking two fingers inside her and fingering her. Soon enough she came, or rather erupted, as she squirted all over my face and onto the floor behind me. She looked satisfied, however I wasn't finished, so I continued eating her out and it seemed like the stimulation was too much for her sensitive body as she came again soon after, violently shanking and moaning before spraying her sweet nectar on me again.

I stood up and took off the final piece of clothing, my underwear, before taking a few tissues and cleaning my face.

Yuna looked down at me and her eyes widened after laying eyes on my dick before slowly getting off the sink and sinking down to her knees.

She took me into her mouth, trying to fit as much as she could into her before sucking on the tip. She looked up at me, still with lust, while bobbing her head up and down on my member. The bathroom was now filled with gagging and slurping noised as the blonde continued reciprocating the energy I just gave her and sucking me off. She slowly but surely took in inch after inch before going back up and gasping for air. Yuna stroked my cock, which was now completely coated in a thick layer of saliva, before getting up and bending over the sink and swaying her ass at me.

"I think that was enough foreplay, please get over here for the main course Y/n. Claim your prize."

I walked over and positioned myself behind her, however, before entering, I had an idea. I grabbed my tie from the floor and tied Yuna's hands behind her back, using my accessory as a makeshift handcuff, before penetrating her petite body. The bathroom was once again filled witg a loud moan, this time coming from both of us an a kind of perverse harmony. It was as if time stopped again. I felt every fiber, every muscle contracting on my dick. It was as tight as our schedule and as hot as magma. Yuna's pussy felt like heaven and it took everything I had in me to not cum inside her that second. I stayed still for a second, giving her time to adjust to my size before finally fucking her. I thrusted deep, hard and fast into her, fucking as if it was the last day on earth. With every thrust I felt her pussy clench around my dick and I saw her ass jiggle. With every thrust her moans reached a higher pitch, reaching octaves that she didn't even reach in the studio. With every thrust I felt the knot in my stomach growing bigger and bigger, I felt that familiar sensation boiling up and coming to a climax. With every thrust I saw Yuna's mouth hanging open wider and wider, more and more drool dripping out of her mouth. With every thrust her eyes rolled further and further into her skull. Her hands had gone limp, hands which she could've used for support had they not been tied up. All of this culminated into a climax, a climax as hard as either of us had every climaxed before, with Yuna clenching so hard around me that it was borderline impossible for me to go out of her again, before violently shaking again and dropping with her face down onto the sink. I continued thrusting throughout her climax and just as I felt the knot in my stomach about to explode I looked her into her eyes and they told me one thing- to not pull out.

So that exactly what I did. With one last thrust I buried myself as deep as I could inside her before finally releasing all of my semen into Shin Yuna's womb. Thick spurt after thick spurt shot out of my dick, coating her insides in a layer of cum, so much so that it started dripping down her thighs. I stayed inside her for a bit before finally pulling out, exhausted but still hard.

Still unsatisfied I picked Yuna up, holding her from beneath her thighs while having her back turned to him. I walked in front of the mirrors before entering Yuna again, making her release a long drawn out moan. I continued pistoling in and out of her like me life depended on it, making sure she could see her lewd expression on the mirror before slowly but surely feeling myself come to a climax again. I continued fucking her, slowing down a bit but thrusting harder than before until Yuna came, squirting onto the mirrors in front of her. Her head dropped down in exhaustion and a few seconds after I came inside her for the second time this night. I emptied out my semen before placing the exhausted girl down on the floor, seeing as a puddle of my cum was slowly building due to it overflowing or rather flowing out of her.

Yuna was breathing heavily, barely being able to hold herself upright before speaking for the first time in forever-

"We aren't done yet. I still need your cum in my mouth.", She told, no she demanded of me.

Yuna crawled towards me before taking my semi hard dick into her mouth, tasting a mixture of our cum. She licked around the tip, this time being unable to both support herself and stroke me due to her hands being tied up. She gagged on my cock, going further and further down each time, almost trying to increase her depth with each lick. I felt her throat tightening around me, making me feel things I had never felt before. She continued bobbing her head up and down until I decided that I had enough and took the lead myself. I grabbed both sides of her head and started throat fucking Yuna. The gagging got louder and Yuna got wetter. From where I was standing I could make out the shape of a smile forming onto her face. I continued bucking my hips back and forth, reaching further and further with each thrust until, for the third time that night, I felt my orgasm inching closer and closer. My thrusts became sloppier, my grip on Yuna's hair loosened and soon, with one last throb, my dick came undone in Yuna again, this time coating her throat in thick, white, hot, sticky spurts of cum.

I stayed inside her for a while, giving enough room to breathe but also making sure she kept all of my cum inside her mouth, until finally backing off and looking at what I had done to her. Her make up ruined, her chin coated in saliva and precum, between her legs was a puddle of my semen and her cum and our clothes were scattered around the bathroom. The sink was wet, the mirrors were foggy and still had her squirt on them and my pants were soaked in her juices. I looked at her and she innocently looked back, smiling sweetly before standing up and cleaning herself.

We both put our clothes back on before she walked, or rather limped, back to her members. The party was surprisingly still on going, however, it was more than appropriate for me to leave. I looked back at Yuna, bowing towards her members before seeing her wink at me and soon I left the party. I got into my car, asking my manager to drive me back to my house before checking my phone, seeing two new messages.

unknown number

>hi Y/nn. I hope you had fun, I already miss having you inside me baby. I got your number from Jihyo unnie, hope you don't mind. Feel free to call me if you want to 'spend some time' together again ;) I feel so full right now, thank you for your nutritious meal.

See you soon handsome~ xoxo -Yuna

'This girl will be the death of me', I muttered while throwing my head back. I quickly replied to her before looking at the second message.

Rina Noona❤️

>Y/nn~ I think you can tell who this is based on the name I put but I got home and I'm feeling better already. Please text me once you get home, or call me. No matter the time I'll pick up. I really want to hear your voice again baby~ I'll definitely hold you up to that offer too because I always get what I want and you just happen to be first place on my wishlist right now. Don't forget to hit me up or I'll be sad :(

xoxo your -your favourite Idol in the whole wide world.

...To be continued

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#kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpopfap

[leonardhoee]

I’m so excited that you’re taking requests! May I ask for some Mitsuhide headcanons? Any are fine (although I do love an in-love!Mitsu 👀)! Thank you so much dear!! 💘💞

Omg I was so happy when I got this request cuz Mitsuhide is the LOML. (Also perfect timing cuz I just finished re-reading his route). I’m not sure what kind of headcannons you wanted but I’m just kind of rambling based on the reasons I love him.😂 (+ NSFW)

(Also I wrote these at 3am if there’s any spelling errors pls don’t kill me😭)

Hope you like it!❤️❤️

Tagging: @aurora-morning @writer-akihiko @ikemenvmpire @judgemental-seal @delicateikemenmemes

Mitsuhide is...so incredibly soft. Sometimes when you’re sleeping next to him, he just takes in your beauty and listens to your heartbeat. Knowing you are alive and in his arms, warms his heart more than you could ever know.

He cannot believe that someone who radiates so much love and light would fall for someone like him, but he is eternally grateful that he is blessed enough to have the chance to love you with his entire being.

As much as he teases you, this man LIVES to pamper and please you. Muscle pain after sparring with Kyubei? (Or other activities with Mitsu). Mitsuhide will use his extensive knowledge of the human body to give you the most mindblowing massage you’ve ever had. (And he will equally enjoy hearing your satisfied noises at his touches.)

He is extremely perceptive, especially when it comes to you. If you are upset, or anxious, or in pain, he will know right away without needing to be told and will act accordingly. He will insist on going back to your home and giving you some time away from work so you have a chance to relax with him.

He may be a secretive person but everyone on the Oda Forces knows just how much “Mitsuhide Akechi adores his wife”. He can’t help it, it just slips out. Whether it’s through his words or his actions, everyone in Azuchi knows he only has eyes for you.

Mitsuhide has the utmost respect for you (he chugs his respect women juice daily) and will consider your opinions on his work a great help. There may be some parts of his job that he isn’t allowed to with you. However, 90% of the time he will tell you everything he’s been doing and will ask for your advice.

Sometimes he feels like you know him even better than he knows himself. And he knows that even if the whole world considers him a murderer and amonster, you will always be there to hold him and remind him that you love him and that he is a hero in your eyes.

Even for him, it’s sometimes too much to handle, and on those days he will come and lay down with you, resting his head on your chest as you stroke his hair and allow him to finally rest. He won’t admit it publicly but, being in your arms feels like the safest place in the world for him. He never thought that he would experience the luxury of having such a place to return to after his battles. A true home.

If you like to cook, you better believe Mitsuhide will eat everything you make, regardless of whether he can taste it or not. (He says he doesn’t need to taste the flavor because he can taste the love you put into it.)

He is known for neglecting his basic needs, and while he has gotten better at it ever since you came into his life, his level of self care is still unacceptable.

However, if you come in and insist he take a break because he’s overworking himself, his heart will absolutely just melt at seeing how much you care about him. (Is it the bare minimum? Yes. Has anyone ever taken care of him like that? No.) He is so starved of love and affection that even the most minor things will melt his heart.

Mitsuhide also loves to tease you, just to see your reactions. It’s incredibly entertaining when he whispers a dirty joke to you and smack his arm because “We are in public Mitsuhide.” It amuses him to no end.

He also loves teasing the others with you, and you two make the best pranking team in Azuchi.

You two have increased Hideyoshi’s migraine levels, but he lets it slide after seeing Mitsuhide look so happy for the first time in his life.

Hideyoshi has never seen Mitsuhide smile like that at anyone before, and he’s just glad Mitsu finally has someone to love and depend on. (Though sometimes he wishes that person was him. We’re not gonna unpack all that right now)

Random Headcannon: Modern AU Mitsuhide would be an amazing dancer. Like Michael Jackson type shit.

NSFW Below the Cut

Mitsuhide lives to please you and that translates to the bedroom as well. He is a switch through and through, but he could eat you out for hours. (Lying isn’t the only thing he’s good at using his tongue for).

His favorite place to be is between your thighs with your hand tugging at his hair, bringing his face even closer to your dripping core. You are his priority and he will not partake in his own pleasure until he has seen you come twice at least.

He loves to hear you beg, and will torture you for hours with phantom touches that allow you a small taste of the pleasure he can give. He will leave you desperately wanting more until you are crying his name and begging him to finally take you because you can’t handle any more of his teasing.

It’s truly a game to see how long he can keep his own composure before letting go and loosing himself in mindblowing pleasure. Oh and when he does...when he finally lets himself take you the way he’s been wanting to...you won’t be walking straight the next day.

The expression on your face, and the way you cry out his name with tears of pleasure running down your cheeks when he finally pounds you into the futon send him into ecstasy like he had never known before. He will keep going until your legs are shaking and your voice is hoarse from screaming his name so many times throughout the night.

He has a hidden chest of various toys and ropes, and secretly one of his greatest fantasies is to be tied up, completely at your mercy as you “punish” him for his teasing behavior. Nothing brings him more pleasure than feeling the rope dig into his skin, being unable to move as you teasingly suck him off, stopping right as he gets to the edge. He also loves seeing you ride him, using him as a device for your own pleasure.

Mitsuhide is normally not very loud, however, if you edge him enough, it will break all self control he has as he desperately moans your name and bucks his hips, just to try and finally feel himself buried deep inside you.

Once you free him of his bonds he will immediately flip you over, licking down your chest and throwing your legs over his shoulders as he drills you into whatever surface he decided to rail you on that day.

If you’re not too tired, he will even bathe you himself as he kisses every part of your body telling you how amazingly beautiful you are in the afterglow of your lovemaking.

Afterwards, he pulls you close to his chest and kisses your forehead, as he tells you how much he loves you and how euphoric you make him feel. Nights like these are one of the few times Mitsuhide will fall asleep right away as the languid exhaustion overtakes him.

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen mitsuhide x reader #ikesen mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #ikesen hideyoshi #ikesen yukimura #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen kenshin #ikesen mc #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen masamune #ikesen kyubei #ikesen headcanon #ikesen smut #ikesen mitsuhide smut #ikesen shingen #ikesen kicho #ikesen keiji #ikesen kennyo #ikesen sasuke #ikesen mitsunari #ikesen naoe #ikesen motonari #ikesen imagines #ikesen kichou #mitsuhide akechi #akechi mitsuhide #ikesen yoshimoto #ikesen ranmaru

[linosies]

written for @districtninewriters most recent writer's room! thank you so much for the prompt, this was a lot of fun to write ♡

in which working with who you've deemed to be your worst enemy amounts to more than you could ever imagine.

wc: 1,960

genre: enemies to lovers, college!au

pairing: gn!reader x minho

warnings: swearing, reader has minor breakdown, mentions of school. also, not proofread (yet)

"Dammit," you groan, louder than you should have. Your dance instructor shoots you a glare, whereas your partner smirks at you. The simple action makes your blood start to boil.

"Everything alright, (Y/N)?" Mr. Kim asks.

You huff, crossing your arms, never bothering to hide your annoyance. He knows very well that you and Minho can't stand each other—hell, it's been hard enough to keep you two civil during practices—so why did he pair you up? And for regionals of all things? "Peachy."

"We'll talk after practice."

You give a curt nod as Minho stifles a laugh behind you. You turn to glare at him, but it leaves no effect. He simply winks in your direction and walks off to get water.

Fantastic. You roll your eyes and get into position for the group number, trying to ignore the boy's gaze following you as you loosen up.

The rest of practice goes by painfully slowly as you dread what's to follow. And within two minutes of practice ending, you're not sure whether you want to laugh, cry, or scream.

"You're two of the troop's best dancers, and I know you both know that. But now it's time to lose the egos; neither one of you is better than the other. It's time to put all that passion and energy you've been putting into hating each other back into dancing. Maybe then you'll be able to see how strong a pair you two truly could be."

You open your mouth to speak, but Mr. Kim raises his hand to silence you.

"No objections," he turns to Minho just as he clears his throat to speak. "You either. No going solo, and no joining other groups. If you're going to regionals, it's as a duo. You need to get over these feelings, disagreements, whatever they are, and pay dance the respect and humility it deserves. Friendly competition is one thing, but dance is not a tool to be used to try to better each other. Now, have a nice night."

The instructor bows silently in your direction and exits the room, leaving the two of you alone in the studio.

You're dumbfounded. The man you went to and confided in about your struggles, just like that, is feeding you to the lone wolf that has made the last two semesters your personal living hell.

"How badly do you want to go to regionals?" Minho hums. "Because I don't want you ruining my chances. I've worked too hard to give up for something—for someone—so stupid."

"Oh please, don't worry about me ruining your little dreams. I want to go just as badly as you do."

"Bet."

By the time your first practice session with Minho is about to start, you want nothing more than to quit and cry. It's been a bad end to a rough week, and you feel like you would give anything just to give up everything. Your major, your job, the dance crew. Everything. Nothing seems to be going your way, and you sure as hell don't want to spend the next two hours with someone who makes it their mission to ensure just that.

Your eyes shut as your hand touches the knob on the door to the dance studio you had reserved. With a sigh, you turn it and walk in. Luckily, you have the room to yourself for a little before your partner joins you.

Without turning on the lights, you find a spot along the wall and plop down onto the floor, letting the weight of the past week take you down. Before you can help it, tears begin to fall. You hug your knees to your chest, letting out a small curse.

You choke out a sob, letting your head fall. Everything is occupying your mind, but at the same time, there's nothing. Panic bubbles in your chest, setting your senses alight. As you try to force yourself to take a deep breath, the studio door opens and the lights come on.

You jump up as fast as you can, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweater. Sniffling, you try to focus on regulating your breathing.

"(Y/N), you look like… shit."

You feel something in yourself crack. All your emotions bubble to the surface as you turn to him and shout. "What the fuck is wrong with you and what the fuck is your problem with me?"

The boy stares at you, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"You act like you're the hottest shit, the only thing that matters. And why? Why is it so important for you to be better than me? Is it because you're a dance major and I'm not? What difference does any of it mean, Minho. My god, you are impossible to deal with. I can't do this. Do whatever you want, I'm leaving."

You grip your bag tightly and throw it over your shoulder, heading straight for the door without sparing a glance behind you.

The rest of your night is a blur of tears, music, and blankets as you try to turn off your mind and get a decent night's sleep.

The next morning isn't any better as your body switches to autopilot; you get up, shower, have breakfast, and leave for work at the cafe near the campus. The three hours of your shift go by without incident, your mind foggy but focus sharp enough to serve the morning crowd.

You glance at the clock and see that you only have 15 minutes left before the end of your shift. With a small nod, you half-heartedly cheer yourself on, though you know that you'll only be going back to your room to spend the next few hours writing a surprise essay for your communications class.

The bell at the entrance rings, pulling your attention to the door. You head over to the cash and your welcoming smile falls right away. Why is he here?

"Um, hi (Y/N). I'll have a…" he trails off, looking at the menu. "A large iced americano, please."

You don't reply, simply pressing keys on the screen in front of you.

"When do you finish?"

You stop, eyebrow raised.

"I just… we need to talk. I'm really sorry about last night, I didn't mean to upset you like that."

"Okay," you say curtly before giving him his total, silently urging him to leave.

Not quite 20 minutes later, you're changed out of your work clothes and sitting down in front of Minho. Before you can as what he wants to talk about, he speaks:

"I'm sorry (Y/N). About last night. About the past few months. About everything, I guess.

"You're right, I've been a dick. I didn't even realize it at first, but things got out of hand and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I guess… I think it always bothered me how talented and dedicated you are, you're such an incredible dancer, that I didn't understand why you didn't just major in dance? Because… well, for me, it's the only thing I'm really good at. I guess—I guess because you're good at a lot of things I just wanted to at least have something that I was better in. I know it doesn't matter, at first I wanted it to be playful but I guess it really wouldn't have been easy to deal with. I'm sorry things got so bad."

You stare at him with wide eyes, trying to process his words. This is the most you've heard Minho speak at once, and you're surprised by how gentle his voice is.

"I'm sorry too," you say softly. "I didn't mean to lose it like that, I've just had a really, really rough week. And I'm also sorry it spiraled out of control. The idea of being seen as less just because of my major really… frustrated me."

"It's okay, (Y/N)," the corners of his lips turn up slightly. "So, what do you say to calling a truce and making the best choreography those decrepit judges have ever seen?"

Before you can stop it, you let out a giggle which you know surprised both of you. And it started the friendliest conversation you've had with the boy across from you.

After an hour and a half, you couldn't even believe he was the same boy you were sure you hated for so long. That hour and a half bleeds into practices after long days in class, where you laugh, good around, and get to know each other.

And you hate to say it, but you'd be lying if you said you don't like this Minho. And, by god, you don't want to be caught dead thinking it but you have to admit that he is attractive. You always loved the way his body moved to the rhythm, it's like the beats serve him.

"Like what you see?" He smirks, making eye contact with you in the mirror.

Though a blush rises to your cheeks, you stand strong. "Not unless you trip over your laces. Do you take requests?"

"You wish."

Though the session started well, after an hour your body stopped cooperating. As you tried to move forward with the section of the choreography Minho created, you can't seem to get this one set of moves right. You keep putting the wrong foot forward, which is keeping you from shifting your weight properly and rolling back into your hips.

"Let's slow it down," your partner says. He approaches the mirror, signaling you to do the same, and breaks down the mechanics.

"I know how to do it," you huff, "I don't know why I can't."

"Maybe you're just tired. How about we work on this a little more and then call it a day?"

You nod, joining him in slowing down every small movement. After a few eight counts, you start feeling more confident and tell him you'll try at full speed. But after two tries, you fail again.

"Dammit!"

"Hey," Minho says softly, coming up behind you and looking at you through the mirror. "It's okay, (Y/N) We've already been working on it a lot, we can call it a night."

You shake your head. "You can if you want to, but I need to get this down."

"Okay." He hums. "What if we try… me guiding you? Can I touch you?"

Your face heats up immediately as he chuckles awkwardly and you pull your eyes from his. "Um… we can try."

His hands gently land on your hips. "Is this okay?"

You nod, not daring to look in the mirror.

Minho begins to count softly, hands reminding your body of where it's supposed to be. You know you're supposed to be focusing on the movements and your own body, but you can't. All you can think of, all you can feel, is his body behind yours, moving against you. The way his hands hold you feels so right.

"(Y/N)?" Minho breathes, searching for your eyes in the mirror. It takes a few seconds, but you lift them.

You don't have time to register what's going on until he's already spun you around and pulled you close. Your noses brush against each other. The feeling of his hot breath against your skin makes butterflies erupt in your stomach.

Minho glances at your lips, and then meets your eyes. "Can I?"

"Please do," you whisper before feeling his lips press passionately against yours. Your hands move up his neck as you gently thread your fingers through his hair.

He pulls away slowly, resting his forehead against yours. The smile on his face brings one to your own.

"How about dinner?" He suggests with hopeful eyes.

You laugh. "Only if you're paying."

taglist: @imkyunies @stayctday

#districtninewriters #prism.nw #multifandomnet #stray kids imagines #minho imagines #lee know imagines #skz x reader #stray kids oneshot #minho oneshot #my writing #stray kids x reader

[thegreatbigfourmain]

Dancing With Dragons

He knew something was wrong the moment he came to his senses. His entire body trembled with pain as he was forced to awaken from his blissful and painfully unaware sleeping state. The sound of beeping monitors and the soft echo of shoes tapping on hard floors rose once his eyes opened. Moments later, a doctor was there to greet him and inform him they were at the hospital, yet still on base. The battered-up brunet saw a glimpse of himself in a mirror given by a nurse. His hair was matted and dirty, his body stitched and bandaged. 

It took the doctor a moment before telling him that not only was he being sent home on an honorable discharge, he also had a terrible accident. It wasn’t losing his men or killing civilians, as one would assume. The tragic loss was the left stump that was now his leg, bleeding through the bandages. His green eyes widened at the sight. No words left his lips as his entire body shut down. As a result, the doctor pumped his IV with morphine to cause the soldier to rest. However, the shock never truly left him.

In all honesty, he wasn't too proud of going off to the Marines like he had. He thought that if he left his art scholarship and went to the army, his dad might actually be proud of him. And for a moment, the old man was. With his buzz cut and high rankings through bomb tech and military tacticians, he had been put in the hand of his squad. His father was proud of him every day.

Yet, it only took a single bomb to set back everything. He came home taller with lean ropes of muscle, a haircut and a foot gone. The looks of sympathy were worse than the disapproval. He spent months in the hospital and physical therapy, though it did nothing to help his mental state. His hair grew out back to the long length it had once been and he could actually walk in a straight line with his prosthetic, yet he still felt as weak as he was all those years ago. Even as a twenty-seven-year-old man, he still looked to his father for approval and now only saw that same disappointment.

There wasn’t anything he could do to change that’s man mind. 

***

Today, Hiccup Haddock the Third found himself outside a small dance studio recommended by his redheaded, Scottish doctor. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. 

The brunette sighed, looking down at the floor of the car.

“You ready?” his best friend asked from the driver’s side.

The man grumbled, “No. Take me home.”

Jack scoffed and turned off the car as to not waste the gas. Hiccup knew what that meant; a lecture from good ole’ Jack Frost. 

“Doc said it was going to help your coordination and that this girl was a good friend of hers. She’s not even going to charge you! What’s the worse that could happen?” the white hair male asked.

Hiccup gave him a look, “I fox trot myself into falling on my ass?”

Jack narrowed his eyes, “Get out of the car and go get better or so help me I will pull you out myself.”

The brunet rolled his green eyes before opening the door and lifting his legs awkwardly out of the vehicle. He slowly stood up, only to bend down and look back at his buddy. 

“Two o’ clock right?” 

“I’ll be here. I promise,” Jack said with a smile. The veteran closed the door and with a sigh, wobbled his way toward the dance studio. He was still slow in his walk and looked stiff. He refused to use a cane as it only furthered his disappointment and loss of his normality. Besides, it was mostly the pain that bothered him rather than his appearance. 

Everything inside him screamed that this was a bad idea.

His father had ingrained in him that real men don’t need help. Then again, he wanted a lot out of his fishbone of a son that didn't have much to give in the first place. 

Hiccup walked up to the door as the colorful fall leaves crunched under his boots. He wore a pair of dark jeans and a button up dark green shirt with a warm leather jacket over it. Now that his hair was long, he used a ponytail to tie it back. It showed off more of his sharp jawline and many, many freckles.

He hesitantly knocked on the door. 

Many thoughts swirled in his mind at the moment. Dr. DunBroch could have at least showed him a picture of her friend to ease his nerves. If she was cute, then this would most definitely end badly. If she wasn’t attractive to him, then it still probably end with him falling on his ass. 

With an awkward turn on his good foot, he only waited a second before heading back to the sidewalk. Hiccup was at the ready to pull out his phone to call Jack to turn around.  

Hiccup dialed Jack's number as the autumn wind tried to penetrate through his thick jacket. He hated the cold. The worst part of being out in the desert was the nights. It was always freezing. 

He brought the phone up to his ear, his other hand in his jacket pocket. 

As the phone rang, he heard the door behind him open.

“Hi, I’m Rapunzel. Are you Hiccup?” 

He turned to see who called his name. The person before him made his eyes widened. Oh this is bad. This is very, very bad. 

She was beautiful. 

She was a petite woman who wore a strapped rose pink dress that brought out the pink of her cheeks and the spring green of her doe eyes. Her hair was held up in a messy bun of golden strands. There was no makeup on her face to taint the natural beauty she possessed. Her lips were in a natural pout as she waited for him to answer. 

He gulped, ignoring the voice that yelled at him on the other end of the phone line.

He decided this was much worse than what his imagination concocted in his head. The last thing he wanted was to be exposing his flaws and handicap by falling all over the place in front of a beautiful woman. Warmth flooded his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He gave her an awkward smile, hanging up the phone and putting it in his pocket. Hiccup took a couple of careful steps towards the door, though he still wobbled a bit. 

The brunet stopped to take a deep breath, his smile gone from what he was about to say. His green eyes filled with a bit a self-loathing, but mostly embarrassment. 

“Umm, hi. Yeah, I’m Hiccup. Dr. DunBroch referred me here, but I think it would be best to continue going back to physical therapy. This dancing thing isn't for me. I was never coordinated, even before my accident. I'm sorry if I wasted your time.” 

He could see her face fall when he told her that he wouldn’t be taking her class. It seemed like she was almost looking forward to it. No, it couldn't be that. Injured veterans are charity cases. She was probably just trying to validate herself through some civic duty to a soldier. Just another person to pity him.

These emotions made Hiccup turn around. He couldn’t take looking at her hurt face any longer. He closed his eyes tightly at how stupid he must have sounded. He took out his phone again while walking stiffly towards the sidewalk once more.

All he heard was a soft “Oh, of course. No worries” from her before the door closed behind him, leaving him out in the autumn wind.

Haddock you asshole, he thought to himself. 

He called Jack again.

“What?” 

“I’m ready to go home.”

“You didn’t even go to the class, did you?”

“This is stupid. I want to go home.”

“Your doctor said this was the best chance you have to walk normally that’s faster than therapy. You can’t just walk away because you’re uncomfortable!”

“I can figure it out myself. And I’m not walking away. It just isn’t for me.”

“I’m not picking you up.”

“Then I’ll walk.”

“Are you crazy? You can barely walk as it is! No offense.”

“How is that not offensive?”

Hiccup was about to utter something to his supposed best friend when he felt a small tap on his shoulder. It made him turn around, his phone still up to his ear with Jack barraging him. 

The petite blonde stood behind him, out in the cold with her dance outfit on. 

She smiled at him and handed him her card. “Here. It’s my business card,” she explained. 

“I know you may not want to now, or ever. But if you ever do want to have a session in the future, I just wanted you to know you have other options. I may not be a licensed physical therapist, but I do know a few things about dance,” she joked, letting out the most melodious giggle Hiccup’s ever heard. 

Her words were almost lost on him because he found himself looking into her green eyes now that they were closer. They were green like summer grass. He felt like he was getting lost in all that was simple about her. That’s what it was. She was simple, uncomplicated and without drama. His whole life had been a series of problems and complications. Hell, his name was Hiccup: he was a mistake and a problem within itself. Even his own occupation was full of bomb techs, guns, drills, training and war mechanics. When he got home it was hospitals and surgeries, family issues and planning. She seemed so simple.

Hiccup reached for the card and, in doing so, gently brushed his fingertips with hers. That short contact caused jolts of electricity to run up his arm, followed by a bright crimson blush flustering his face. 

“Oh, th-thank you,” he muttered out. She gave him one more heart-stopping smile before spinning around in a dancer’s fashion and going back into the building. 

“Hiccup? Hic who was that?” Jack’s voice finally registering into the memorized brunet. 

“Th-that was my instructor. Sorry Jack, I gotta go. See you at 2,” Hiccup rapidly uttered before stuffing his phone once again into his pocket and following the direction of where the blonde beauty went. 

When he did catch up to her, she was beginning to put her speaker away and looked like she was closing up shop. Hiccup cleared his throat before knocking on the open door and entering. 

The blonde glanced towards him, tilting her head to the side a bit like an adorable curious puppy. 

“Hiccup?” 

He chuckled at that, whether it be to hide his incredibly nervous emotions or because the way she said his name was on the rapidly growing list of what he enjoyed hearing from her; her giggle being the first. 

“I, I’m sorry about before... This is all so foreign to me,” he started. 

She placed the speaker aside and began to walk towards him, Hiccup doing the same until the pair met in the center of the room with only their reflections in from the ballet mirrors to accompany them. 

“Well, If you’re up for it, I don’t mind helping you get un-foreign to it,” she grinned, her smile never failing to clench the inside of Hiccup’s chest. 

What was this girl doing to me? 

“What the heck, let’s do it.” 

What did he just get himself into? 

#dancing with dragons #drabble #another old thread with #choasatitsfinest #rewrite #hiccunzel #not the best in terms of grammar but fuck it I'll worry about that in my research papers

[kpop---scenarios]

Obsession

Demon! Stripper! Kai x Reader 

Warning: Smut 

Requested by: @ninibears-erigom​

Moodboard by: @lovely-kpopp-blog​

Word Count: 8.6k 

A/N: I hope you enjoy!!! 

All your life you had been told to stay away from the Southside of your city. You were taught from an early age that the Demon’s who lived over there were monsters, as you could have already guessed. Your mother warned you time and time again that your soul would be stripped from inside you, taken by the monsters and given to the devil, who would then have a claim on your life. He would be able to force you to do whatever he asked of you, even if you tried to fight it. She instilled so much fear into you that you never went close enough to even see that side of the city. You always remained in the protection of the north side, the side of the humans. It wasn’t to say that you were never curious about the Southside though. Whenever you heard your friends talk about it, it peaked your curiosity but you had never been brave enough to defy your mother and end up in more trouble than you’d be able to handle. Through out the years your eagerness to see for yourself what it was truly like. If your mother had made up some sort of fictional concoction of a story to keep your far away, if your friends were in fact correct about it being a fun place to go. It wasn’t until one of your coworkers and friend, Angie had asked you if you wanted to go to her birthday party on Saturday. You had spent most of your time working too much, never allowing yourself to take a break to have any type of fun, so you immediately agreed. You had made the mistake of not asking where it was going to be held. Once Saturday rolled around, you were told to be ready for 9pm, that the party bus would be stopping by your place to pick you up. You took extra time that evening to do your makeup, giving yourself a smoky eye with red lips. You slipped on your little black dress, pairing it with a pair of red heels. Your hair down, curled almost to perfection. You were excited. At 9pm on the dot, you hear a few honks from outside. Quickly you grab your purse and your phone before heading out to be greeting by Angie and a few of your close friends. “Let’s go!” Angie yelled with a glass of champagne in one hand and a shot of something in the other. Your friends pass you shot after shot, trying to get you up to their level of drunk. It doesn’t take much for you, considering it had been months since you last drank heavily. You were far too preoccupied with drinking, dancing and laughing to notice where the bus was headed. It wasn’t until it had stopped and opened its doors that you realized you didn’t recognize the part of town you were in. “Where are we?” you laugh, getting out of your seat. “Southside at a strip club called Obsession.” Lisa smiles. “Southside?” you whisper, feeling a little panicked. “I know you’ve never been, and your mom told you some God-awful lies about it but trust me, you’re going to be fine. This club..” Angie pauses taking a deep breath while fanning herself. “Has the sexiest men I’ve ever seen" she huffs, making a lustful face. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole time" your other friend Jennie smiles. Taking a deep breath you nod your head, linking arms with your friends before walking into the club. The first thing you notice is the amount of smoke lingering in the room. Definitely wasn’t cigarette smoke, but from a smoke machine. The red lights didn’t do much to help the darkness, the music was over powering, you could feel the bass vibrate through your body as you walked further in. But somehow you felt.. at peace, calm and excited. Your nerves vanished the moment you walked in and was replaced with excitement. Looking over to your left, you see a crowd of women fawning over the dancer who was clearly enjoying the abundance of attention he was receiving. “That’s Suho" Jennie whispered in your ear. “He’s a very popular dancer.” You could definitely see why, his red hair stood out significantly, his muscular arms and abs were a sight for sore eyes. Moving along you come across a few more dancers on side stages like Suho, all of them with swarms of women desperately trying to get the men to notice them. “Chanyeol and Baekhyun and Yixing” Jennie tells you. “They’re very popular as well, along with Chen and Sehun over there" she says, pointing to two more overly attractive and muscular men on the other side of the room, all with the same amount of women surrounding their stages. “Why have you never brought me here before?” you question, even though you were pretty sure you already knew the answer. “You know why" Lisa chimes in, giving you a look. The four of you manage to get front row seats at the main stage, which was currently empty at the moment. “Whose stage is this?” you ask, placing your bag at your feet, and taking off your jacket. “His name is Kai.” Angie says. “He is the most popular one here. His moves are.. well they’re the work of the devil, I’m sure. He’s sinful, a delicious tease, the most seductive man.” “Avoid making eye contact unless you’re prepared to be wrapped around his finger” Lisa laughs. From behind you, a man clears his throat. “Hello ladies, my name is Minseok, can I get you beauties anything to drink?” he asks with a devilish smile. Why and how were all the men who worked here literally the most perfect men you had ever seen. They looked and acted exactly like humans, minus the obvious almost black eyes they all had. “Four rounds of tequila shots" Angie yells over the music with a big smile. Minseok chuckles slightly before nodding his head, and heading over to the bar. “I so want to fuck him" Lisa groans, watching him walk away while biting her lip. If you were being honest, you’d probably fuck anyone of them. That was, until Kai came out, and then your eyes couldn’t leave him as much as you tried. “Ladies, ladies, I hope you’re all ready for the main show tonight" the announcer says over the speaker. As soon as the first words left his mouth every single woman who had been previous melting over the other men, were now surrounded at the main stage, eagerly waiting the one everyone was obsessed with. “Welcome to the stage, Kai" he yells. You can barely hear the music over the loud shrieks of women behind you. Though, it quiets down awfully quick when the lights suddenly shut off, leaving you all in the darkness. As the music begins to get louder, a single spot light shines in the middle of the stage, you look right at the light, as you slowly see a man emerge from the darkness. The moment he enters the light, your jaw drops. This man, was the most handsome man you had ever seen in your entire life. Your heart raced as you walked him smile a sincere smile, and then like the flip of a switch turn into this incredibly sexy monster. The way his hips moved, his slow thrusts into the air, the devious smile that crossed his lips, everything about him hypnotized you, especially the blue hair that stood out on him. Kai takes a small running start, before getting on his knees, sliding towards the front of the stage. Directly in front of you. For a moment his eyes connect with yours, a smile creeping across his face as he stares at you. He sneakily winks at you before moving on to pay attention to other women. Your heart beats even faster, you find it hard as you try to catch your breath. “Now for the first time ever, one lucky woman will be brought on stage for a special dance. Who should it be?” the man over the P.A system announces. Everyone screams, begging for him to choose them. But you, you just sit there, still concentrated on Kai as you watch him smiling at everyone, while he tries to pick a special lady. He stands in front of you, a smirk on his face as he walks down the stares to stand directly in front of you, his hand extended. You slowly raise your head, your eyes meeting with his for a second time tonight. You feel a lump in your throat as you gently place your hand in his, everything else surrounding you is tuned out. It’s just you and him, up on the stage. “I’ve never seen you here before.” He whispers in your ear as he sits you down before straddling you. “My first time” you whisper back, nervously. “My friends brought me" “Well I am certainly glad they did" he smirks, beginning to grind himself on you. You feel almost paralyzed as Kai dances on you. You can hear your friends loudly rooting for you, and the other woman praising him. You’re still unsure of what to do with yourself, having this be your very first lap dance, you didn’t think you could touch him, although you wanted too badly. Your time passes in a blur. Kai steps away from you, offering you his hand again to pull you up, helping you down the stairs and back to your friends. You didn’t know what this feeling was that took over you, but you already wanted to see him again. As the night came to an end, you didn’t want to go home. You didn’t want to leave this club, you wanted to talk to him, to touch him. Your friends had to practically drag you out and back to the bus. That night as you laid in your bed, you swore you could still feel the lingering touches of his finger tips. You could feel his bulge grinding against you, leaving you yearning for more. You dreamt of the all the things you would do to him if you ever had the chance. The nasty things you never thought you’d be into came into play in your dreams. Waking up the next morning, you made a conscious decision to go back to the Southside. You mainly wanted to explore the forbidden side of town that you always wondered about, but a huge part of you desperately wanted to find Kai again. You didn’t know if he would even be interested in you but in this moment you didn’t care. You had no reservations about your plans, so you hopped out of bed and began getting yourself ready. An hour later, you’re exiting your taxi, that refused to cross the boarder to the other side of town, claiming he needed to keep his soul to enter heaven. You’d gladly give yours up if it meant you got to meet Kai again. Slowly, you walk down the sidewalks, admiring the large amount of stores, restaurants and coffee shops. You didn’t understand what your mother thought was so terrifying about this place. It was almost exactly like the North side, buy the people were just a little different.. and not human but you didn’t mind. You walked for a few hours before stumbling upon a small hole in the wall type coffee shop. With a smile on your face you walk in and up to the counter to order an iced coffee. You sat down at a table, admiring the small shop when you heard a few men a few tables away from you, murmur about a human in the shop. The nerves that you didn’t have before crept up into your stomach, making you want to leave as quickly as possible. As you impatiently waited for your coffee, you could hear them talk about how they wanted you, some of the things they would do to you if they had a chance to get their hands on you. You quickly stood up from your table, just as your coffee was set down in front of you. You mumbled a quick thank you before grabbing it and heading for the door. Peaking behind your shoulder, you see the men stand up and begin walking to the door the same time as you, their sights clearly set on you. You never should have done this. Clearly humans weren’t always welcome into every place on this side. Exiting the building, you quicken your pace down the sidewalk, the men’s foot steps behind you becoming louder as they keep up with your pace. You turn the first corner you find, now running to try and get out of their sight. You begin to pass by and alley, when a hand reaches out for you, pulling you in before softly slamming you against the brick building. Your eyes are closed, you’re terrified of what’s going to happen. The persons hand covers you mouth, not allowing you to scream, their body pressed against yours. “Don’t make a sound” the man whispers in your ear. Something about his voice is so familiar to you, it’s dark but calming, husky but smooth. You slightly peak one eye open, and are surprised yet relieved to see Kai is the one pressing his muscular body against you. The two of you stand still for a few moments, hearing the men shout, trying to find you. They pass by the alley without a look and continue on with their search. Kai releases you from his hold, stepping back from you. “I thought Demon’s were supposed to be good trackers or something” you said, a little confused. You had always been told that they would always find you if you tried to escape from them. Kai lets out a small chuckle. “That’s the first thing you say?” he questions. “but most of us are excellent trackers, like me and then some.. are not, like them” he explains. “Were you tracking me?” you ask, knowing it was probably a long shot but you felt the need to ask anyways. “I was.” He admits. “I almost crossed the boarder to the North side" he smiles. “Why?” you question. “Why did you want to find me?” “The same reason you came here to find me. You felt the pull, didn’t you?” he asks, stepping closer to you. “You wanted more from me last night, just like I wanted to strip you down and fuck you right on that stage. I almost wish I would have too" he whispers in your ear, tucking a strand of hair behind you ear. “I..” you begin but stop, not sure how to respond. “What do you want?” he asks. “Do you want me to fuck you?” Before your brain can even process what he was saying to you, your mouth had already answered. “Yes" you huff. Kai steps back from you again, putting a good amount of distance between you, which you didn’t like. “Come find me at the club tonight, around 1am.” He smiles before beginning to walk away. Before he gets too far he turns around to look at you one last time. “But this time, try not to get yourself in trouble” he winks before practically disappearing. Taking a deep breath, you quickly find your way back to the boarder and back to your side of town. You head home, ready to take a long ass nap after the eventful day you just had. As you crawl into bed, your phone rings before you can close your eyes. You groan as you see it’s your mother calling. You did not want to deal with any of her shit today, although you did kind of want to tell her that you crossed the boarder, but she might actually try to drag you back to your childhood home, despite you being in your late twenties. “Hello, mother” you sigh into your phone. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all afternoon" she yells. “I went out for a bit and forgot my phone. Sorry" you yawn. “You stayed on our side right? You know what will happen if you cross that boarder.” She says, her voice harsh. “Good lord mother, I’m old enough to make my own decisions. And for your information, I did cross the border to explore, and you know what? Nothing happened to me. I still have my soul.” You told her. The line was silent for a few second before the line went dead. She was so dramatic. Tossing your phone down, you rolled over, closing your eyes and quickly falling into a deep sleep, dreaming about Kai, again. ** At 12:30am, you made your way back to the border, hoping to maybe catch Kai's last dance of the night before the two of you went off to do whatever he had planned. Walking into the club, you felt the same sense of calmness you did on the first night you were there. Without any hesitation you made your way to the main stage where Kai was already dancing. Luckily for you, you managed to snag the a vacant front row seat, unnoticed by the other women who were too busy watching him slowly take his clothes off. You had to remind yourself more than once to close your mouth, not wanting to end up drooling everywhere. As the show came to an end, Kai was left in what you could only describe as a small speedo, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. You could tell he had a hard cock, and you couldn’t wait for him to stretch you out. Before he walks off stage he motions to you to head back stage to meet him. You can’t get rid of the smile across your face as you leave the crowd of disappointed women behind you to follow the sex god. When he asked you if you wanted to go over to his house, you should have said no. You didn’t even know this man, but somehow you felt like you could trust him. Ever since the dance he gave you, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, it was almost as though you were addicted. The two of you walked out the back door of the club to Kai's car. He opened the passenger side door for you, allowing you to slide in, twiddling your thumbs as you wait for him to get into the drivers seat. Kai turns on the radio as he pulls out of the back parking lot, heading towards his house. “You seem nervous" he says with a smile, turning his head to look at you. “I don’t know. I don’t feel nervous, though I know I should be.” You reply with a shrug of your shoulders. “Why? Why should you feel nervous?” he asks. “Because I don’t know you at all. I know nothing about you, yet I find myself wanting to be around you, close to you. It’s like I crave it.” You explain. “That would be my fault.” He chuckles. “What do you mean?” you ask. “I have the ability, when I decide to use it, to make someone become addicted to me, in sense.” He smiles. “Well that would explain why I couldn’t stop thinking about you" you whisper. “However. There’s something about you, y/n. Something about you that makes me crave you. Ever since I laid my eyes on you, I wanted you. No needed you. You’re like a drug, and I’m already hooked.” He smirks. Jongin stops his car in front of a lavish looking apartment building. The two of you walk in, you trailing a little behind Kai as you both step into the elevator. He presses the penthouse button causing the elevator to jerk and begin moving up. Kai stands close to you, his finger tracing the inside of your palm. The elevator dings and Kai grabs your hand, pulling you into his large place. He stands in front of you, staring at you. You’re unable to break away from his piercing gaze. Your breath hitches as he leans in closer to you, his plump lips almost touching yours. “If you don’t want this, tell me now, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to stop after" he whispers, eagerly waiting for your response. “Yes I want this" you breathe, closing the gap between the two of you by placing your lips on his. Kai deepens the kiss, pulling your body into his, keeping his hands on your hips. You wrap your arm around his neck, keeping yourself balanced as you melt into his kiss. He traces your lips with his tounge, wanting to be able to enter. You slightly part your lips, allowing him to slip his tounge in. His hands travel down your hips as he bends his body slightly, placing his hands behind your knees. He pulls on the a little, signaling you that he wants you to jump up. You jump, wrapping your legs around his waist, the kiss never breaking. He walks towards what you can only assume is the bedroom. Within a second, you’re thrown onto his bed, he stands beside the bed with a smirk on his face as he watches you attempt to catch your breath. He takes a step forward, pulling his shirt over his head, exposing his set of rock hard abs. You licked your lips at the sight of him, the oh so delicious sight. You wanted so badly for him to take off his pants and whatever underwear he was wearing underneath. You needed to see his cock, you wanted to put it in your mouth, sucking until he came and it slid down your throat. Without even realizing it, you had sat up, and began discarding your clothes which was the reason Kai had stopped. He was watching you slip your shirt over your head, revealing the red lace bra you hid underneath. He groaned as you stood up, unbuttoning your pants to reveal a matching set of red lace panties. Kai wanted so badly to slam you down on the bed and rip off your lingerie set, shredding it from your body. He wanted to taste you on his tounge, have you squirm beneath him as he makes you cum over and over. He wanted ram his cock inside you, feel yourself tighten around him, screaming out his name. But he couldn’t, at least not yet. He wasn’t sure of what you were into and he didn’t want to end up scaring you off with his rough fucking. So instead, he climbed in the bed, pulling you down and laying you flat on your back. He hovered himself over you, placing small kisses along your neck, collarbone, and moving down towards your breasts. “I’m going to rip your bra and panties off of you, okay baby?” he whispers. You can only nod your head as your body tingles everywhere with the need for him to give you more. In one swift motion your breasts were free of your bra, your nipples perky due to the bit of draft in his room. “Mhmm" he groans, tilting his head to the side before lowering it, placing his lips around one of your nipples and sucking. He opens his mouth to graze it with his teeth, while simultaneously rolling your other nipple between two fingers. You throw your head back in pleasure, your pussy aching to be touched by him. “Please” you cry out, needing him to move further down your body. He looks at you waiting for you to continue. “I need more” you whine. “Tell me what you want” he says. “I want your mouth" you pant. “My mouth where?” he smirks. “Down here?” he asks, moving down your body. “You want my mouth sucking on your clit?” “Oh god yes” you cry as his fingers slowly graze in between your lips. “Are you sure?” he asks, placing his thumb on your clit, rubbing in small, soft circles. “Yes yes, please" you cry, desperately needing more. “Mhm" he says, laying on his stomach. He parts your legs even more, as far as they would go before he attaches his lips to your clit and starts sucking. “Oh my god" you moan, your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head. It had honestly been so long since you were with anyone, you forgot what it was like. You buck your hips up, moving your hips in a circle, needing to get as much friction as you could. “Shit" you cry out. Kai lays his arm across your hips, pushing down to prevent you from moving. He really was trying to kill you. “Oh oh” you cry out, your orgasm coming with great speed. But before you were able too, Kai moves his mouth away from your pussy, letting your orgasm slowly drift away. “Nooo" you cry out, covering your face. “why!?” you demand to know. “The first time you cum, I want it to be all over my cock" he growls, taking his pants off, allowing his large, thick cock to spring free. He wraps his hand around his cock, pumping a few times, coating his length with his precum. You lick your lips as you watch, just wanting him to shove it down your throat until you choke. He crawls in the bed, lining himself up with your entrance. He places your legs on his shoulders, gripping your thighs tightly as he pushes himself into you, completely stretching you out. Once inside of you, Kai is still for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his size. He fills you up like no one has before. “Move" you pant, needing to feel him move inside of you. Kai smiles as he slowly pulls out of you, pausing for a moment before ramming his cock back inside you which jolts your body. “Fuck baby girl, you’re so tight” he groans as he quickens his pace. He moves his hands from your thighs to wrap them around your calves, holding them closely to his chest. Kai's thrusts become harder and deeper, hitting your G spot every time. “Rub your clit" he grunts, loosening his grip on your legs. You reach down, placing your fingers in between your lips, rubbing your sweet spot. Your orgasm hadn’t gone too far away, the moment you touched yourself, you were almost right back to cumming. “Oh fuck" you scream out, rubbing circles on your clit faster as Kai fucks you harder. “You feel so fucking good" he groans. “I think I’m going too..” you trail off, your eyes rolling back. “Cum for me baby. Cum all over my cock" he demands. So you do. Your orgasm rips through your body, as you scream out in intense pleasure. “That’s a good girl" he moans, his pace and thrusts becoming erratic. “Where can I cum?” he grunts. “Cum in my pussy, please cum in my pussy" you cry out. Kai’s orgasm takes a hold of him, his thrusts stopping completely as he empties himself inside of you, coating your walls with his juices. He pulls out of you, his cock tender, and he lays down beside you, your sweaty bodies partially touching as you both try to catch your breath. “That was..” you pause. “Amazing" Kai huffs, finishing your sentence. “I guess I better get going.” You sigh after a few moments, getting up to gather your clothes. You look for your underwear before you remember they’re in pieces throughout his room. “You don’t have too.” Kai says, turning on his side, resting his head on his propped up hand. “You don’t really want me to stay. I get what this was. Its fine" you smile, slipping on your pants. You pull your t-shirt over your head, looking at Kai one more time. “What do you think this was?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. “A one night stand.” You declare, walking out to grab your jacket. He follows quickly behind you, yanking on his boxers. “Wait, no" he begins. “You don’t have to explain. You don’t have to try to come up with some kind of reasoning as to why you want me to stay when you really don’t. Like I said, it’s fine. It was a fun night. Maybe I’ll see you again" you finish before the elevator dings at his apartment. You watch his face, which looks confused as the elevator door closes. You can’t imagine what he actually wanted to say. There was no way a man like that would be genuine in saying he wanted you to stay. You were severely out of his league. As much as you didn’t want it to hurt, it did. You liked him but unfortunately for you, it was a one night thing that you would remember forever. ** 9am came quickly the next morning. You hadn’t gotten home from Kai's until 4am and crashed almost immediately when you hit your bed. Thank god for you, you didn’t have to be at work until 10am but you did not get enough sleep. Your feet were dragging as you walked into the office, Angie sitting at her desk, impatiently waiting for you to sit down so she could ask you about why you were so tired. “What did you do last night?” she practically yelled. “Um well.. I went back to Obsession” you admit shyly. “Oh my god. Did you go see Kai? I knew it. I knew there was something between you two” she smiles. “what happened?” “I went back to his place and uh..” you trail off. “Did you fuck him? Please tell me you did. Was his dick huge? I bet it was huge.” A giant grin plasters on your face, confirming her suspicions. “Yes and oh yes” you admit. Angie let’s out a high pitched squeal as she tries to pry every bit of information out of you. After you finish telling you most of the details of your night, she stares at you in amazement. “that is amazing. You’re so lucky" she gasps. “are you going to see him again?” You shake your head. “No, it was just a one time thing" you say. Before she can reply, a man stands in front of your desk, holding a giant bouquet of flowers. “Are you y/n?” he asks. “Yes?” “For you" he says, placing the vase on your desk and walking away. “Oh my god" Angie gushes. “They’re totally from him.” You roll your eyes as you stand up looking for a card. Once you do, you sit down and open the envelope. *I’d really like to see you again, and no I’m not just saying that – Kai* You couldn’t get rid of the smile for the rest of the day, and Angie couldn’t stop gushing about how lucky you were. However one thing confused you. How did he know where you worked? At the end of the day, you’re leaving the building, your giant bouquet in hand. “Do you like your flowers?” You hear a voice question you. Peaking from behind them, you see Kai standing there, leaning against his car. His arms crossed, his suit fitting him perfectly. “I do" you smile. “but how did you know where I worked? You question. “I’m a very persuasive man when I want to be.” He smiles. “Look, I don’t know what gave you the idea that I only wanted one thing from you last night. I thought I had been rather obvious about how much I actually like you. I didn’t want it to be a one night stand" he explains. “I’m sorry, I just assumed..” you trailed off. “What?” he asks. “I assumed that it was all you wanted because, well, look at me and look at you" you say. “I didn’t expect you to want more. I honestly just figured it was a line" you say. “I make it very clear to women what I want. And I thought I had been clear with you, that you were different.” He tells you. “I’m sorry" you whisper. “Don’t be sorry. All I ask is you believe me when I tell you something, that I’m not saying it just to say it.” He smiles. “Now, would you like to go to dinner with me?” “I would love too" you smile.   ** Over the next few weeks, you and Kai were pretty much inseparable. Unless you were at work or had plans with friends, you and he were together. On the weekends you’d head over to Obsession to watch him dance, and watch all the women who were completely enthralled by him. You sat back and laughed to yourself whenever he would look at you, or wink, it had the other women fuming. That night, you spent at Kai's, where he asked you to be his girlfriend, of course you said yes without any hesitation. “I need to ask you for a favor" Kai sighs, as you partially lay on top of him, your head resting on his bare chest. His hand had been tracing along your back, lulling you to sleep, until he spoke. “What’s that?” you ask, wiggling your self slightly so he would continue to rub you. “Don’t.. don’t come to the Southside alone anymore. Not even with your friends, please.” He says. “Why?” you ask, sitting up, holding the sheet to cover your naked body. “Those men from the night after we first me, caught wind of you and I. Not that really any of the other Demons care, but these guys are different. They’re called Malum demons, which means evil. I know everyone has heard the stories that all demons are evil and whatever, but most of us just want to be able go coexist here with everyone, not cause harm.” He sighs. “However, the Malum demons just want that. They’re the ones who want to take souls, kill the humans, torture and murder the men, rape the women to have half human half demon children, who are supposed to be stronger than ever” “W-what can we do? Can we do anything?” you ask, your body beginning to shake. “There are people working on it but they seem to be getting more and more demons siding with them, thinking that it’s how it should be. But they’re pissed off that you got away from them. They wanted you, they still do and wont stop until they’ve got you. They’ll find out your friends, family, acquaintances. Anyone in your life and they’ll take it all away so you have no choice unless you give yourself to them." he tells you. “Oh my god" you cry. You hadn’t been expecting this. It felt like too much. You weren’t safe now. What about your friends? Your family? You’ve put everyone in danger because of your selfish wants of getting to know the demon you met that was dancing at the strip club. “Hey baby, don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Kai says, scooting closer to you, holding you tight. “It’ll all be okay” he smiles. You knew he wanted to make you feel better, but you weren’t sure if he could. The next day, after you laid awake in Kai’ bed for the remainder of the night, he was the one to drive you home. He parked in front of your building, turning off the ignition and turned to look at you. “Please remember baby. Don’t go anywhere alone, don’t come to the Southside unless me or one of my friends are with you and don’t answer the door if you don’t know whose behind it. I’m going to get this figured out, I promise. Those fucks won’t get to you.” Forcing a smile, you nod your head before leaning in to give him a quick kiss on those plump lips you loved before heading into your apartment while he waited for you to get inside. You turned, giving him a small wave goodbye before you closed your door behind you, taking a deep breath while taking off your shoes. How the fuck were you supposed to fix this? How were you going to keep everyone safe, especially Kai. You didn’t want him out there, possibly getting hurt because those men didn’t get what they wanted. You barely slept that night as well. Your stomach in knots, as the possibilities swam through your head of what was going to happen. You didn’t want anyone to get hurt, including yourself. But what if you just offered yourself up to the men. Maybe no one would get hurt. You couldn’t do that. No one would ever let you sacrifice yourself to save them, especially not Kai. Pulling out your phone, you dial the number of the one person you knew could help you figure something out. “Hey Angie, I know it’s late but I need your help..” you begin. 45 minutes later, Angie is sitting in your living room with you on the floor as you both eat Chinese food. “So let me get this straight” she pauses. “These guys are planning to attack everyone you know, essentially because you ran away from them and they couldn’t live out their fucked up delusional fantasies with you?” she asks, cocking her head to the side. “Yeah, basically" you nod. “I don’t know what the fuck to do.” “I wish I had an answer for you. But really, it’s going to have to be your decision to make.” She says, glancing around your place, like she hasn’t been here multiple times. “Is Kai coming over tonight?” she asks nonchalant. “Not tonight. He had some stuff to take care of.” You answer. “I’ll be back. Bathroom break.” Angie announced, quickly getting off the floor and heading to the bathroom. You didn’t understand why she was suddenly acting so weird. Pulling our your phone, you send a quick message to Kai, telling him how weirded out you were by her sudden change in behaviour. [8:38pm] Kai ♡: I’m coming over. You didn’t protest, you loved seeing and maybe you’d be able to convince him to finally stay the night. He always would decline because being on the North side made him nervous. You hear a knock at your door, right as Angie steps out of the bathroom. “I shouldn’t answer it.” You whisper to her. You knew that Kai couldn’t have gotten here that fast. She just gives you a smile before she walks to your front door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Standing in front of you are the two men from the day in the coffee shop, you’d never forget those faces. “Close the door! Run!” you scream. Angie laughs. “who do you think told them to come here?” she chuckles. “W-what?” You ask, unable to fully process it. “I called them. I’ve been telling them all about you, sweet y/n. Everything they needed to know.” She smiles as one of the men puts his arm around her waist. “Why?” you whisper.   “Because you stole what was supposed to be MINE.” She yells. “Kai was supposed to be mine. Do you know how long I’ve been going to Obsession? How long I’ve been working on trying to get him to notice me? How many times I’ve done whatever I could to talk to me? I was so close and then you go one night and he acts like you’re the best thing in the world.” She snaps. “So, when they approached me, telling me that they wanted you and for you two to not be together, I figured it was the perfect opportunity. They get you, and I’ll finally get Kai" she smiles. “Do you know what they’re going to do to me!? What any of their fucking plans are?” you cry. You can’t believe this. “I don’t really care, to be honest. I just want what’s mine.” She shrugs. “I thought we were friends" you whisper. “We were. Until you stole from me y/n. I don’t like thief’s” The three of them stood there, staring at you. You were shocked and felt betrayed but more so, you were trying to figure out a way to escape. Hoping that Kai would be there soon enough to help you. “Enough of this sappy shit. Take what you want, boys.” Angie says, moving to the side as the two men walk towards you. You turn to run but you’re not quick enough, one of the already has his hand wrapped tightly around your wrist. “No!” you scream. “Fucking let her go, right now" you hear a voice snarl behind you. You turn around, seeing Kai with an angrier face than ever. “Kai, baby. Just let them go. You have me now" you hear Angie purr, in a desperate attempt to be sexy. “What’s it going to take with you? I don’t fucking want you. Never have, never will" he snaps at her. “Back off Kai. We just want what slipped away from us.” One of the men growls, his grip tightening. “We don’t want you to get hurt, pretty boy" Kai laughs. “I think I’ll be fine. Besides, there’s a lot more of us then there is of you" he smiles, cocking his head to the side. Before either of the men can say a word, there’s four men behind Kai, men that you recognize from the club. “So again, let her go.” Kai snaps. The two men look at eachothers and smile. The one holding onto you pushes you back harshly, causing you to stumble back, tripping over the area rug and hitting your head on an end table. You try to keep your eyes open, but with in seconds your world turns black, as you fall unconscious to sight of Kai lunging for the man, his eyes black. ** When you wake up, you’re expecting to still be in your apartment in your bed, hopefully with Kai laying next to you. But instead you’re laying in a hospital bed, with an IV in your arm and Kai’s head resting on the edge of your bed. “Kai?” you whisper. His head shoots up, his eyes wide. “why am I in a hospital?” you ask, looking at his face to make sure he had no cuts or bruises. “You hit your head when that piece of shit shoved you” he says, looking you in the eyes. “I needed to make sure you were okay" “I would have been fine in my own bed too. This is going to cost a fortune” you groan, getting out of the bed. “Don’t worry about that. It’s all covered. I just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything else wrong, something more. You hit it pretty hard" he says, offering his hand to you. “I’m just fine. Don’t worry. What happened?” you asked. You almost didn’t want too. You were worried about what words might come out of his mouth next. “All I’m going to say is you wont need to worry about those two. They’re not going to be trying to bother you anymore.” He smiles. The two of you begin to walk out of the room, when the doctor stops you, asking to speak with you for a second. “Why? You said she was clear to go when she woke up” Kai says.   “Y-yes, but I just have a few questions to ask her, privately.” The doctor stutters. “Its okay. I’ll be right out" you say to Kai, letting go of his hand. Once the door closes, the doctor looks at you with worried eyes. “are you okay? Do you need help? I know what he is.” The doctor whispers. “What? Help? No? He’s my boyfriend.” You laugh. “I don’t need help. Not all demons are bad, doctor” you laugh, opening the door, slipping your hand in Kai's and walking out the front entrance. Kai takes you back to his house, claiming he needed to do some cleaning at your house before you could go back. You were pretty sure you knew what he meant but decided you really didn’t want to know about the possible dead demons laying on your living room floor. ** The next day you went to work, and sitting at the desk next to yours sat a very sad looking Angie. You didn’t bother to look at her, or even acknowledge her. In fact, as far as you were concerned, she was dead to you. “Y/N..” she whispers. “Don’t.” you snap, your eyes never leaving your papers. “I don’t want to hear anything from you. Ever.” “Please.” She cries. “I don’t know what came over me" “I know exactly what came over you. Greed, jealousy, selfishness to name a few.” You spit. “Let me make it up to you" she whispers. “Why? So you can stab me in the back again? No thanks.” You say, walking to your bosses office, in hope’s of being able to be transferred to a different desk, or yet a different department. ** A few months later, you and Kai were still going stronger than ever. He had met your crazy mother, who pretty much fell for him the moment she saw him walk through the door. At that moment she didn’t care what he was, she only cared on how he treated you. She had been so wrapped up in the fact that he was a demon that she never thought that he would be anything but terrifying to look at, and a monster. As it turned out, she had never actually seen a demon before. She could have passed one on the street and never would have known considering she was always looking for a terrifying creature, which they were anything but. Once you had transferred desks at work, you never saw Angie again. Not even when you, Lisa and Jennie had gone to Obsession together. The fear of the Southside had slowly diminished as people from the North crossed the boarders and saw for themselves that they meant no harm to them. It was finally acceptable for humans and demons to be together, and everyone could come and go from each side as they pleased. After a few more months, you and Kai had moved in together. You happily left your small apartment with some bad memories for his penthouse which held only good ones. You and Kai laid in bed on the first night of living together, laughing and talking. “I want to ask you something" he states, sitting up in bed. “Okay?” you say, a little nervous. “Now, I haven’t brought this up because I didn’t want you to feel pressured to say yes, and I know it’s only been not even a year that we’ve been together, but..” he pauses, jumping out of his bed to rummage through his dresser. By the time he walks towards you, you’re sitting on the edge of the bed with your hands in your lap and a tingle in your stomach. Kai slowly sinks down onto one knee, pulling out a small box. “I’ve loved you since I first saw you walk into my club. I honestly can’t imagine my life without you. Will you be mine forever?” he whispers, opening the box, revealing a beautiful and large diamond ring. “will you marry me?” You can’t help the tears from streaming down your cheeks. You can’t formulate any words, your brain was barely working to process what he had just asked you. “You.. you want to marry me?” you cry.   “Yes baby, it’s you. It’ll always be you" he smiles, taking the ring from the box to slid it on your extended hand as you yell ‘yes' through your tears. You stare at your hand for a second, admiring your newly acquired piece of jewelry. You let out a loud chuckle as Kai tackles you back onto the bed, smiling as he hovers over you. He leans his head down, pressing his lips onto yours. His hand trails from the side of your face down as he slides his body off of you. He reaches under your silence nightgown, cupping your breast before teasing your nipple with his fingers. He sits up, pulling you up as well. “Arms up" he purrs. You do as your told, moving so he’s able to pull your nightgown off of you, discarding it somewhere in your shared bedroom. He lays you back down, placing gentle kisses along your stomach, moving his way up to suck on each breast. He looks up at you again, smiling before climbing off the bed, and onto his knees on the floor. Kai spreads your legs wide, allowing him to see one of his favorite views. “Mhm” he groans, leaning forward to lick a long strip up your pussy. “Oh god" you cry out as the tip of his tounge begins to flick your clit, causing your legs to shake. Kai spreads your lips before he latches his lips to your clit, sucking harshly before sticking two fingers inside of you. Your eyes are closed as he works on you, your hands reach up to cup your breasts. You then move one hand further down, running it through his luscious blue hair, gripping tightly on a chunk. Kai continues to thrust his fingers in and out of you while switching from sucking and licking your clit. “Fuck fuck" you cry out, your orgasm building quickly. Kai switches the pace of his fingers frequently, going from slow to fast, making your orgasm come faster. “I.. I’m gunna cum” you scream out, your body slightly convulsing as the high coursed through your entire body. Kai lifts his head from in between your legs, your wetness shining on his face as his licks it up. “You always taste so fucking good baby" he smiles as he stands up, his cock pressing harshly against his sweat pants. You smile as you climb off the bed, kneeling in front of him now. You hook your fingers on the inside of his sweatpants, dragging them down his legs. His cock springs free, the tip red and almost throbbing while leaking precum. You lick your lips as you move your mouth closer, opening wide to take him all in. Kai jerks his hips forward, pushing himself down your throat. “Fuck baby" he groans, his hands gathering a clump of hair. He gently thrusts his hips, shoving his cock down your throat, a little further with each thrust. The tears begin to fall down your eyes as you swallow his cock with every thrust he gives you, choking a little each time. “Such a good little slut for me" he moans, his thrusts becoming faster. “You want me to cum in your mouth?” he grunts, his grip on your hair tightening. “Mhmm" the only sound you can make. “Shit" he cries out as he pulls himself mostly all out of your mouth, except for his tip while he shoots his load inside your mouth. Standing up he smirks at you and your clearly still full mouth. “Swallow, baby” he whispers, watching you intensely. You look him straight in the eyes as you swallow everything in your mouth, as he groans in satisfaction. “fuck you’re sexy" he smiles, whisking you off your feet and throwing you onto the bed. “I can’t wait to marry you” he smiles. “Mrs. Kim Y/N" he says, placing another kiss on your lips.

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[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

A Met Gala one-shot

somewhere, someone in the world wanted to kill us for leaving these clothes on the floor of a college recreation facility.

4.5k of flirty, well-dressed, smut

***

Okay, so maybe I did feel a little bit out of my element. I mean, style was never my thing. Fashion was never my thing. That’s why, after 6 years of really trying to make it, I was selling music--not the hottest trends.

“You’re going to be fine,” Jenna said behind me, her smile big and bright as I stared out the window as the car rolled to a stop.

The weather was beautiful--and I was lucky. Early May in New York City didn’t exactly always lend itself to warmth and sun. And the feathery, pink dress/cape combo I was wearing didn’t exactly lend itself to the most confidence.

I knew the drill. Jenna and Britney had run through things twice already in the short ride from the hotel. I’d get out, wait in line, walk the carpet, greet the co-chairs, head inside. I’d eat some food, mingle with some people, and enjoy the night.

I knew a few people who’d be there. Sophie Turner, Zendaya, even Hailey Baldwin (Bieber? Still not clear on that.) So I’d be fine. I’d be nice and social and it would be fine. That’s what I kept repeating to myself as I heard the door on the other side of the car open and shut quickly.

Britney, my amazing manager and time-keeper for all things Met Gala, seemed to be opening my door before I could even process it. There were chirps of excitement from people gathered nearby, but no camera flashes yet--which was appreciated.

I’d walked red carpets before. In fact, I tripped and caught myself on Saiorse Ronan’s shoulder only six months earlier--so I figured tonight couldn’t be that bad. I stepped out, gaining more noise from the fans who’d gathered to catch glimpses, but I didn’t expect for some screams to break out the way they had.

I was new, after all. My debut album had dropped in the fall, I was still in the middle of my first headlining tour. I wasn’t exactly A-list yet. I was surprised when I even got the invitation in the first place.

And when Moschino offered to dress me, I was even more surprised that I was popping up on people’s radars. And not just people--fashion people.

“Stella Mayfield--walking,” I heard a voice next to me, a woman in a black gown was apparently communicating with whoever (and whatever) was inside the giant tent opening straight ahead. Jenna could sense my nerves--she reached over to rub my shoulder and offer a smile. Thank god I had the two of them, plus Danny, my one and only security guard.

Danny’s job was more of a precaution, I think. I’d yet to be in a situation where people were really rowdy or wild. I mean, there’d be fans gathered outside my hotel on tour and people outside of the venues. But I’d never seen Danny had to launch into action. I mean, I’d never been mobbed or anything.

So I had a buffer. I had Britney and Jenna and Danny all night. We could leave when we pleased, I reminded them. Which I think was more of an out for me if I got too nervous or overwhelmed by all of the fancy clothes and money in one room.

We waited in line, I watched as the photographers and reporters on the side of the big steps would scream people’s names, hoping to get a glimpse or a wave or an answer to a question.

Soon enough, the woman in black--who’d escorted us all the way in--spoke my name into her walkie-talkie and gave me a shove forward. So much for a warning.

I smiled immediately, thankful that people seemed to know who I was (and care), and I posed at the bottom of the stairs for the group of photographers who seemed to be giving me the nicest directions.

“Can you turn this way, Stella?”

“It’s great to see you, Stella, are you excited to be here?”

I chose the woman with the short blonde hair to talk with--she seemed the most approachable and most interested in actually hearing from me. I told her that yes, I was excited to be here, no, I wasn’t bringing a date. Yes, I was dressed in Moschino, and no, I wouldn’t be leaving with anyone.

I did my best to make eye contact with a few of them, Britney had always given that advice for big events like these. She said that when you’re trying to still make a name for yourself, it was good to give answers and be friendly and make them write about you.

I was pulled up the steps, though, by Britney, who gave me some easy directions to pose in two different spots on the stairs. And soon, when I neared the top, I saw the co-chairs--undoubtedly, the people I was most nervous to see.

It wasn’t that they were worlds more famous than me (that didn’t help), it was more that they were the ones who ultimately decided who got to come. Anna Wintour approved the invite list and somehow, I’d been cool enough to not get cut.

My heartbeat was steadily rising, and when I met the final step, Lady Gaga gave me the biggest smile I’d ever been greeted with.

“Stella!” She beamed at me, opening her arms wide to give me a hug. Jenna, Britney, and Danny seemed to stay back. “I’m so glad you’re here! We were so hoping you’d come!”

“It’s so nice to meet you!” I smiled, letting her embrace me. Someone--who I didn’t recognize--was in front of me and schmoozing with Serena Williams. “Thank you so much for having me.”

“Are you kidding me?” She pulled back, apparently surprised by my graciousness. “You’re the hottest thing right now, live it up! It can be weird, I know. Big event, big names. Enjoy yourself tonight. You’re a star!”

I was shocked, really--not just by her beauty and her gown and her niceness, but by the fact that she seemed to say exactly what I needed to hear.

“Darling, so good to meet you,” Anna Wintour greeted me, reaching a hand forward to tug at my long brown hair. “Absolutely love your gown!”

I was getting pushed along--the line behind me was apparently longer than I’d realized and people were eager to get inside. Serena Williams and Alessandro Michele seemed to be caught up with someone (extravagant makeup and a blonde wig made it hard to tell who it was), so I looked up at Britney, who gave me a shrug when she saw that I was stuck, and I sidestepped the mystery guest.

Harry Styles, clad in a black get up, offered me a small smile and leaned in to hug me, speaking over the crowd as his lips grazed my ear. “Great to meet you, you look beautiful,” he said.

I pulled back slightly, a flush rising on my cheeks as I cursed myself for being starstruck at an event where my main job was to just act like I belonged.

“You do too,” I offered back, immediately wondering if he’d appreciate being called beautiful. Was my 24-year-old girl showing too much? He smiled back and I moved on. We’d met in passing once before, I knew Niall a little bit better after writing a song with him in 2018, but we’d never actually spoken.

“Your album is amazing, it’s seriously been the soundtrack to my life lately. Listen to it all the time, really,” he nodded, his eyes sweeping over my face.

“Seriously? I’m so flattered, thank you!”

He pulled his eyes away from me then, smiling at the person behind me, who clearly wasn’t appreciative of my loitering. A pang of disappointment washed over me, but he brought his eyes back down. “We’ll talk later, yeah? Find me inside, or I’ll find you!”

“Sure, yeah!” I nodded, getting shoved away from him by the moving line before I could even give him another hug.

I let out a breath, happy to have more space from other bodies and thankful for the fact that Jenna, Britney, and Danny were once again by my side.

“You did it,” Britney smiled, clapping her hands together. “Walked your first Met Gala stairs. And you shined,” she said.

**

The first thing I did inside was get a drink. Not only because I needed one, but also because they were free. Not just your typical open bar free--these were top-shelf, well-made, served with a smile cocktails that had these pretty pink straws that poked out of the top.

Whatever Jenna had ordered for me tasted like lemon. I wasn’t mad.

The dinner was delicious--I was seated with people I barely knew, but I was fine enough once I’d had some liquor and some food. I’d popped by the table in the back--where everyone’s entourage was seated--to visit my three staff and make sure they were fine.

But just as I’d expected, they were more than entertained by the food, the drink, and the company. So when I walked back to my seat and spotted Harry incredibly close to my table, I sipped the end of my drink (strong, not well mixed at the bottom), and took a deep breath.

“Hi,” I said quickly, offering him a smile as he pulled his eyes from his current conversation partner and brought them to meet mine. In a typical situation, I’d feel sorry for interrupting and might have even avoided it altogether, but something pulled me towards talking to Harry again.

Maybe because he was the only person (aside from Lady Gaga) who’d made me feel completely comfortable all night.

He said his goodbyes to the man in the red suit before opening his arms to hug me again. “You’re alive still!”

“I am!” I laughed a little, mainly because I was surprised I’d lasted this long. Parties (especially with this many famous people) were exhausting. I wasn’t sure if he’d had four redbulls already or was just filled with adrenaline, but he seemed awake and excited and like he was having the time of his life.

“Me too, I’m also alive, which is good.” He nodded seriously, stepped a bit closer to me to let someone pass by us.

The lights were dim--we were in the strange space between dinner and dessert. There were dancers on stage and music that played along to their movements, but the entertainment hadn’t yet truly started.

“You must be exhausted,” I said, extremely aware of the fact that his arm brushed against mine.

He let out a laugh and shrugged his shoulders. “Long day, but it’s fine. I can sleep tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I asked, pulling my head back in confusion. I was under the impression that I’d be home and in bed by 1am. At least, that was the limit I’d subconsciously set for myself.

“There’s a few after parties,” he nodded. “I’m hosting one with Gucci at The Fleur Room. You’ll have to come!”

I felt stupid for a second, stupid for not realizing that of course there’d be after parties and of course I should go. I mean, in all honesty, this was work. I needed to mingle and network and meet celebrities and get my name out there.

“Right,” I said, trying to play it cool. “Of course, I’d love to!”

“I’d love to see you there,” he said, letting his eyes pause on mine for a second longer than usual. “Your album is seriously amazing. Where’d you record?”

“Mostly L.A.,” I said. “I’ve been working a lot with Ricky Reeves, he produced most of it.”

“You did a song with Tom Hull, too, right? He did a song on my album!”

“I did!” I smiled, I’d completely forgotten that we had that in common. Tom Hull--Kid Harpoon--had worked with a slew of amazing artists. When he reached out and asked if I wanted to work on something with him, I was touched.

“He’s a genius,” Harry said simply. “Total genius with lyrics.”

“I know--I swear to God the song we wrote took us like ten minutes and it’s one of my favorites.”

“Try For It, right?”

I nodded--trying to mask my excitement that he knew the name of my song. I knew he’d said he liked my album, but everyone says that when you release your first major-label project. A part of me wondered if he’d really been listening to it as much as he said.

“I have to say, though, I think Break Me is my favorite.”

I laughed, once again completely flattered that not only did he know my album, but apparently, he had favorites. I leaned up to speak into his ear--the music was louder and people were cheering for the dancers on stage. “It’s my favorite, too, but don’t tell anyone. Kinda ruins the whole songwriter I love all of my songs equally thing.”

**

Around 11pm I needed a break. I dipped out of the main ballroom and headed down a hallway, thankful that Danny was distracted by Jenna and Britney to give me some space.

My heels on the floor echoed as I walked--I didn’t know where I was headed, but I wasn’t worried about finding my way back. I turned down another hallway, which left me in an empty exhibit room.

But that’s when I heard a laugh.

I peered around some sort of statue (again, music was my thing, not other forms of art), and saw Harry, slumped against a wall with a phone pressed up to his ear.

He looked up and met my eyes, offering a wave as he informed the person on the other end that he had to go. I tried to motion at him that I was sorry for walking in, but he pulled the phone from his ear, pressed a button, and shoved it back in his pocket.

He’d changed--his top was now white and a big, almost goofy looking bow-tie adorned his neck.

“Hi, sorry, I was just,” I motioned back down the hall that I came from. “Trying to get some air.”

He let out a laugh. “My thoughts exactly.”

I was quiet for a second, still feeling guilty for walking in and hoping that he didn’t think I’d purposely followed him back here. But he spoke again before I could voice any of those thoughts.

“This is your first Met Gala, right?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, but I didn’t say more. I could tell he was thinking.

“Mine too--pretty busy. That was my mum, asking if it was going alright. She just woke up back home.”

He kept his eyes focused on something past me--I could tell he was thinking more to himself than he was saying out loud.

“Were you nervous for today?” I asked suddenly, my voice still quiet so as to not echo throughout the room.

He brought his eyes back to me at this and a grin overtook his face. “Are you kidding? I was practically in the fetal position before the carpet.”

“Are you serious?” I laughed in response. “You seem so,” I searched for the right words. “Put together and calm and used to it.” I didn’t mention that he looked so attractive, was so talented, and I was practically on cloud nine due to the amount of conversing we’d done.

“You’ll get used to it,” he nodded, his smile smaller now but just as genuine. He gave me a look as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.

Am I cut out for this type of stuff?

“I’m somewhat used to it,” he said slowly, but he looked down at his high waisted pants. “Still getting used to this type of thing, though,” he plucked at the waistband, his eyebrows furrowed together to get a laugh out of me.

“I’ll get used to it,” I nodded my head, appreciative of his humor and his groundedness.

“And until then, you’re doing a great job of faking it.”

**

I was chatting and laughing and drinking with Alexa Chung in the corner of the big athletic complex when Harry sidled up beside me.

“What’re you drinking?” He asked, leaning in closer to me so I could hear him--once more--over the music. Alexa watched with a smile as I held my drink up to him, offering a taste.

He took it from me, and I watched as his lips pressed against the same place that mine had just been. He scrunched his nose to more accurately judge, and when he handed it back to me, he smiled.

“Whatever it is, I want one, and it looks like you could use another.”

**

He found me afterwards, two identical drinks in his hands and a smile on his face as he pulled me aside to cheers to a successful night for the two of us. And we drank the drinks together, admittedly faster than we probably planned. And then we had another.

And then I danced beside him as Mark Ronson played different songs and we took stupid selfies with people who popped over to say hello. I’d lost Danny long before--though I assumed I was in his sight--when Britney and Jenna said goodnight. They told me to have fun, enjoy myself, and most of all, don’t end up naked or black out or anything that would end up on the internet tomorrow (this) morning.

But that wasn’t me. I wasn’t that type of person.

“Do you need a break for a minute?” Harry asked, his arm snaking around my waist as I smiled up at Alexa as she said something about Cher’s performance earlier.

I looked up at him quickly, his face was close to mine and his lips brushed against the side of my temple again when he spoke. “I could use a break, is what I should say.”

Alexa seemed to not mind at all, in fact, I could have sworn that she gave him a playful wink as he draped his arm over my shoulder and I started to head away from the commotion.

“A water, a snack, all of it sounds nice,” he laughed, bringing his eyes down to me as we climbed down the stairs from the DJ booth. “And maybe one more of those lemon things.”

“I have no idea what’s in them,” I laughed. “So if we’re ridiculously hungover, don’t blame me.”

“I would never,” he laughed, letting his hip bump into mine somewhat as we made our way for the door.

A man in a suit--not Danny, but who looked like he might have been Harry’s version of Danny--opened the door for us right as we approached, leading us into a hallway with bright yellow chairs that lined the wall. Celebrity guests were seated all along, drinking and chatting and taking obnoxious pictures in their best-attempt at Camp.

It was then that I caught sight of Danny, who said something to the man who’d been holding the door open, and gave me a subtle wave as Harry withdrew his arm from around my shoulders.

I waved to Joe Jonas (who seemed to smile when he saw me) and felt, for the first time all night, like I actually was starting to belong.

“Still a little crowded,” he said, looking each direction down the hall. One way was towards the entrance--cocktail tables lined with flashy tablecloths and extraordinary floral arrangements. He looked to his right, nodded his head in that direction, and then looked down at me again.

He walked away from me, and I turned back to give Danny some kind of please don’t follow me look before falling into step beside him.

“What’s down here?” I asked, a laugh escaping my lips as we headed farther down the dark hallway.

“No idea,” he shook his head, a smile on his face as he licked his lips. “But somewhere to sit and take this bow-tie off and just talk for a second would be nice.”

And so we found a room that had a desk and a blackboard and Harry decided to write our names in chalk in big, obnoxious, somewhat drunk handwriting.

He sat on the desk then, loosened his bow-tie, and smirked. “It’s been nice to get to know you tonight.”

I smiled, hoping that if my cheeks looked red, I could blame it on the alcohol. “Thanks for making me feel so welcome,” I said.

He smiled, holding the red fabric in his hands. “I should say the same--I was definitely freaked out to be here and be co-chairing, but I would say it’s been successful.”

“Me too,” I nodded assuredly, thankful that I’d long turned in my feathery pink ensemble for a gold and shimmery gown--one that showed just enough cleavage and was markedly more convenient to dance in.

I wouldn’t have done what I did next if he didn’t look up at me with an innocent--yet somehow completely daring--smile. In two steps, I was stood between his legs, my hands on his face, and my lips against his.

And in half a second, his hands were around my waist, pulling me closer to him. We stayed like that for a minute, but soon he stood, stepped me backwards, and flipped our positions. Now I was against the desk, he worked one hand at the back zipper of my dress, and my hands were fiddling with the buttons of his shirt.

My thoughts were racing and my pulse was too. He deepened the kiss and I shrugged out of the top of my dress. When I felt the fabric of his shirt against my chest, I was reminded, ever so timely, that I’d opted to be braless all night.

Harry didn’t seem to mind, however, because soon his hand was around my breast. I made a noise when we connected, which must have turned him on even more, because he suddenly started working at removing his own shirt to be less fabric between us.

His lips were warm and soft and something about the possibility of being walked in on made me terrified and excited all at once. He made me nervous and unsure and hyperaware, but he also made me feel comfortable and like I fit in.

I kissed him harder--thankful for the fact that he seemed to be handling his pants on his own. They looked extremely difficult to get on, so getting them off was sure to be quite the task. I tried not to worry, though, and it didn’t take much to distract me because he pulled away from me for a second.

“You’ve looked beautiful all night and this is not normally what I do,” he said, his brows dipped inward as he tried to explain himself.

In all honesty, I wasn’t really worried and I wasn’t even thinking about how many times he’d done this before. But now I was.

He must have seen the look on my face, because he moved his head to get a better look at my face. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“No,” I said, probably too quickly. “It’s fine--I just, I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

He let out a laugh, his eyes scanning over my face once more. “I’d be so honored,” he teased.

He kissed me again, this time, his hands were searching my body, searching for skin and searching for connection. I let them wander, finding the hem of my dress before pulling it away from my skin. I pulled my mouth away from his for a second--a dip in his brows told me he didn’t appreciate that--to slide his pants down from his hips.

I could feel his erection against me as he worked at the final buttons of his shirt, and I let my hands find it as he kept his lips connected to mine. He let out a sharp exhale at that, making a noise of pleasure as I palmed him over the fabric of his boxer briefs.

He pulled away from me quickly, taking me by the hands to stand me up. His fingers tugged at the fabric of my dress--somewhere, someone in the world wanted to kill us for leaving these clothes on the floor of a college recreation facility.

I didn’t have much time to think about that, though, because after Harry shed his shoes and his undershirt, he picked me up and set me back on the table, nodding his head in direction to lay back.

His mouth was against me in seconds, his fingers pulling away the thin strap of my thong as his tongue worked against my center. It was jarring, really--not just because of the sensation, but because of how quick he had my back arched and his name floating from my lips.

He seemed to like that, though, as he inserted two fingers to pump in and out of me while his tongue drew abstract circles.

“Yeah, baby?” his voice was deep and throaty. “Feel good?”

I let out a moan once more, reaching a hand down to grab at his hair, keeping his tongue pressed against me. He let out a cheeky laugh, my dependence on him seemed to feed his ego.

I let my own hand wander to my chest, playing with my own nipple. When he saw this, he muttered under his breath. “Shit, Stella.”

He pulled away quickly, pulling his boxers down to reveal what I’d been waiting for. I sat up on the desk, scooching closer to the edge to give him better access. He held his own hand around his shaft, and he smiled up at me before letting his tip enter slowly.

He immediately let out a moan, his hands reaching around to make contact with my butt--pulling me closer to the edge so he could go deeper inside of me.

“Fuck, Stella, you’re so wet for me,” he breathed into my ear.

Maybe it was the fact that we were in some sort of athletic office--maybe it was the fact that I could get in so much trouble for this. But whatever it was made it even more sensual to feel his cock up against my clit as he moaned in my ear.

“As soon as we got here I knew I wanted my night to end with you,” he said--which struck me as sweet and incredibly sexy at the same time.

I reached my arms up to his neck, holding him close to me as he rocked in and out. “You feel so good,” I told him.

“Yeah?” He said, a smirk on his face again as he leaned in to press a kiss to my lips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby.”

He started to go faster, his hands still keeping my butt close enough that he could hit the right angle. “I want to fucking fill you up, Stella,” he said, his voice lower and deeper than before. “You feel so fucking good all around me.”

“Fuck me, then, Harry,” I told him, and the direction seemed to get him even more excited. He pumped faster, the desk beneath us started to squeak, which caused laughter on both parts, and soon, he moaned into my ear as I felt him come inside of me.

He kissed me again, deep and genuine, and then pulled away and laughed. “Fucking someone in a school office where we might get caught. That’s pretty camp.”

#harry styles #harry styles met gala #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles drabble

[ladyshandioftheendless]

Different

What’s this? A little surprise left in my inbox? Awww @misslivvie you shouldn’t have! Then again I’m always down for more DemonAnkh sexytiems~ Thank you, luv!! <3

Was there ever a lovelier sight than this?

Vinneketh had fistfuls of the bedsheets in his hands and was giving such a beautiful symphony of sounds as Demon fingered him. “Ahahhhh... oh... mmm, yes... oh, there! Right there!”

Demon smirked a bit. “Here?” He crooked his fingers again, pressing down on that little bundle of nerves.

Vinneketh jerked. “Ah! Y-Yeah...”

Chuckling lowly, Demon kept going, making sure he always pressed, sometimes almost punishingly, against that spot. He couldn’t help but watch his lover as he did so, watch him squirm and thrash and moan shamelessly loud. Music to his ears..and a truly beautiful sight.

Well, the bloodied and mangled corpse of his first ever kill had been a very beautiful sight. But this was definitely on par with that. He wanted to make Vinneketh overload, give him so much it made him scream out loud in pleasure. He would give and give and give until his lover couldn’t take anymore.

He finally finished working him open, and slid his fingers out. And he was about to position himself and thrust in deep when Vinneketh suddenly propped himself up on his elbows. “Wait..”

Demon immediately stopped; he wanted to continue, but not if his partner didn’t want to. “What is it?”

The dancer suddenly looked a bit awkward. “I... I want to ride you,”

Demon blinked at him. “... You... You what?”

“I want to ride you,” Vinneketh repeated, cheeks flushing. “I, I saw it in a book once and I wondered what it would feel like... Have you ever done it before?”

There was a long pause. “Er... no,” Demon admitted. “I haven’t.” In truth, he’d always been a little curious about what it would feel like, but had never felt secure enough to suggest it. None of the lovers he’d had in the past ever suggested it either.

“Oh,” Vinneketh looked down at his knees. “W-Well... would you be willing to try it?”

“I... Yes. I would.” It fell from Demon’s mouth before he could think.

Smiling slightly, Vinneketh wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him softly. “Lie down on your back, darling~”

Suddenly Demon felt a little nervous. He was always on top. And yet he still wanted to see what this would be like. So he did as asked, and lay down on the bed beside Vinneketh. Vinneketh kissed him briefly, then got up to straddle his hips.

Then there were a few seconds of awkward movement as he tried to position himself. He gave a sheepish laugh. “Could you...”

Demon smiled briefly and helped move him into the proper place. It was still a little awkward, since they were in a different position.

Vinneketh braced his hands on Demon’s shoulders. And with a shuddering sigh, he lowered himself down onto Demon. “Ah...”

Demon’s breath hitched. This felt... different. Almost too different for him to like; usually it was him on top instead of a lover. But it was, Gods below, an incredible different. Vinneketh fit so perfectly around him, like he was meant to be there. It felt right, almost. His hands traveled up the dancer’s thighs and settled on his hips, his large hands covering the wing tattoos.

Slowly, Vinneketh began to move, awkwardly rolling his body up and down. His mouth fell open in a gasp. “Oh Gods~” he moaned out. Demon forgot to bite his lip to stifle his groan of pleasure. A unusual as this was, he was starting to like it. Very much. “Keep going,” he growled.

Vinneketh nodded and kept going. He moved his body up and down, mainly his hips, and although his movements were a bit awkward, the pleasure it produced was mind-blowing. Demon was floored; here was Vinneketh, riding him in his own bed. It felt new; but it also incredibly intimate. Their heavy panting mixed in the air.

Demon suddenly wondered if he should start moving as well. He gave an experimental thrust of his hips, grinding up to meet Vinneketh’s as his came down. They both tilted their heads back and groaned at the sensation.

“Ah... Demon...” Vinneketh gripped his shoulders. “I want to go faster,” he said breathlessly.

Demon gripped his hips a bit tighter. “Then go faster,”

After a moment, Vinneketh began to move even faster. He moaned loudly, and Demon joined him as he thrust his hips up to meet his lover’s. His grip on his hips was almost bruising now.

Vinneketh’s face as he moved was a beautiful sight. His eyes were closed and his face was flushed and his mouth was open in a moan. “Ohhh Gods... yes... Demon...”

Demon couldn’t stop his own moans of pleasure. This felt good...so very good. “T-Treasure... Vinneketh...”

Vinneketh’s eyes cracked open at that, but they closed as he kept going. And then he suddenly did something else. His hips kept moving, but he leaned down and began pressing hungry kisses up and down Demon’s neck. They were sloppy and open-mouthed, but they sent Demon’s heart racing even faster as he heard the dancer sigh against his neck. Then Vinneketh’s mouth latched onto his neck and he began to kiss and suck at the spot, licking and nipping to create a mark.

Any shred of restraint left fell away, and Demon moaned aloud as Vinneketh kept working, his hips still moving in time with Demon’s. His hands slid from his shoulders to his chest to circle and play with his nipples, and Demon’s grip on his hips tightened.

When Vinneketh was satisfied with his work, he pulled away from Demon’s neck and gave him a smile. Demon’s heart skipped a beat at that smile. He had to do something in return now. All he could think of to do was give a rough thrust of his hips, driving right into Vinneketh’s pleasure zone.

The dancer’s body tensed in shock and his mouth fell open in a gasp, and for a moment Demon feared he’d made a mistake. But then the moment he thought that, Vinneketh practically melted and he gave a shuddering moan of pleasure. “Ohhhh Goooods...!!”

He kept going, even faster now. Demon was now shamelessly voicing his pleasure, his moans mixing in the air with his lover’s. His hold on Vinneketh’s hips was iron-clad, but he gave no thought to it. Every bit of his attention was focused on Vinneketh. Red splashed across the fair skin of his cheeks; his eyes were half-lidded but a green fire of pleasure; his body movements were so much more confident now, and were graceful and fluid; his inky hair fell in front of his face, then slipped off as he threw his head back in an almost musical cry of pleasure.

He was the most beautiful creature Demon had ever seen.

Vinneketh’s sounds rose in pitch—and then finally, with a cry of pleasure, he came. “Demon!”

Demon’s pleasure rose higher and higher, faster than had ever happened in his life. Watching Vinneketh’s face, blissful with pleasure, was what made Demon follow him, hard. “Vinneketh,” he moaned out.

Vinneketh collapsed onto Demon’s chest, breathless and panting. Demon’s hands stayed on his hips, thumbs tracing circles. There would definitely be bruises there come morning. But he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment.

“Mmmm...” Vinneketh looked up at him, smiling. “What did you think?” he asked softly. There was still a breathy edge to his voice that made Demon’s heart quicken in pace.

“It was... different,” Demon admitted. “But I enjoyed it. And you?”

“I loved it,” the dancer murmured, a blissful smile on his face. “It was different... but I loved it.” His eyes turned to Demon’s neck, and his smile widened happily.

Demon knew he was looking at the place he left the mark, but decided to humor him. “What are you looking at?” he asked, smiling slightly.

“I left a mark on your neck,” Vinneketh responded, and his tone was surprisingly happy. “Finally.”

“What do you mean ‘finally’?”

“You always leave marks all over my body. I wanted to do the same to you.”

From anyone else, it may have sounded malicious. But Demon was floored once again when he heard the innocent happiness in the dancer’s voice. “You... did?”

Vinneketh’s thumb traced lazy circles on his skin. “It feels to me like you always do the most during intimacy. And while it is... very nice, I wish you would let me give more.” He blinked up at him. “That is how it works, is it not?”

Demon was speechless for a moment. “I... I suppose it is,” he finally managed. “If you really want to, you could... give more. I never said you couldn’t.”

A smile bloomed across Vinneketh’s face, and he leaned in to kiss him. Demon returned it, his hands traveling up the dancer’s waist as Vinneketh’s fingers wove themselves into his hair. And soon Vinneketh was rolled onto his back and Demon was atop him, and they were kissing deeply once more. Demon felt Vinneketh smile and laugh against his mouth as they settled back into their regular pace, as if Vinneketh hadn’t just ridden Demon in his own bed and flipped Demon’s entire world on its head.

But Demon knew he would never forget this, ever.

#HOT AF OKAY #KISSteria guest writings! #~DemonAnkh~ #submission

[krreader]

someone you loved | chapter 1.

pairing: park jimin x reader fandom: bts warnings: childhood sweethearts!au ; underage drinking ; language genre: angst ; smut

summary: when you were a little girl you had always assumed that he would be by your side forever, that you would marry him when you’d get older and start your own family when you were ready.. but how many people are actually lucky enough to end up with their childhood sweetheart?

a/n: I know I have a shit ton of originals already, but I’ve been planning this one for MONTHS and finally found the time to finish the first chapter today. let me tell you upfront, this one is going to be angsty as fuck and I doubt there will be much fluff going on for a very long time, so just a heads up. other than that, enjoy this first part ♥ (also, please listen to the song here, I promise you won’t regret it.)

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Losing sight of the people you used to call your best friends as a child wasn't a rarity.

It literally happened all the time.

In fact, only one in five people are still in touch with their childhood friends when they’re adults.

And if you think about it, it actually makes sense. Unless destiny wanted you to be friends forever, it is completely normal to grow apart. The older you get, the more you change. You develop your own interests, hobbies and think for yourself, that’s just the way of life.

However, when you were a little girl, you had genuinely believed that you had already met the love of your life and would be with him forever..

You had met him in kindergarten, where he walked over to you with his cute suspenders and the most beautiful smile you had ever seen and offered you some of his lunch because some bullies had taken yours away. He had dragged you along and had played all day with you and when you came home that day, instead of crying and telling your mothers about those bullies, you laughed and told her about your future husband.

After that day, you spent literally every single day with him.

He quickly became the only person you ever wanted to play with in kindergarten, but also afterwards.

Your mothers became friends eventually. Were bound to with how often you spent your free time at the other one's place.

Soon after, it was your father's and then it was as if your families were not two, but one big one.

You spent important holidays with each other, went on trips together, had random family dinners..

..and all of that carried on into your teenage years.

Before that, both of you had decided that you wanted to go to the same school, never wanting to lose sight of one another and always wanting to be in the comfort of the other one.

Maybe that had some negatives, because, again, you were both so focused on each other that you barely made friends with anyone else.

You knew that fighting was never an option, if something even remotely close to a fight ever occurred, the other one managed to somehow always fix the situation by cuddling or being funny, so you never had to worry about someday standing there on your own.

Even as you got older and entered the stage of boys suddenly being interesting in a romantic way, nothing really changed between you two.

Yes, you did view each other differently and there were.. moments that probably wouldn't have happened if you were truly 'just friends', but you had your mind set on him being your future husband anyways and from the way he reciprocated the feelings, you had assumed that he felt the same way. You just wanted it to progress naturally..

Some people thought it was weird that you were so close, others thought it was incredibly cute and yet again others were jealous of the connection you two shared.

But you couldn't be bothered. You just lived your life and enjoyed it to the fullest with him by your side.

There were five moments that you still thought about a lot. 

Five moments that changed your relationship forever.

The first was already mentioned, that was the first time you had met each other in kindergarten and you knew you wanted to have him by your side forever.

The second was when you two had to decide which schools you wanted to go to.

According to your teacher, she thought you should go to different schools. Your best friend was a very talented dancer, so she had proposed him to go to a high school that had a really good program for dancers or anyone else that was talented in creative fields.

But it was a high school that you could only go to if you had enough teachers to back you up and while he had it, you didn’t.

You weren't nearly as good as him, so you knew you had no chance of getting into that school.

And so even though you would be heartbroken, you said: “You should go there.. it's an opportunity and.. you always said you wanted to be a dancer. Maybe this could be the way to accomplish that,” when the two of you sat on a hill, watching the sunset.

The thing was, you knew that you could still see him. He would still be only ten minutes away from your home. 

Yes, it would be weird not being in the same class anymore, but you knew you wouldn’t lose him.

He had watched you for a very long time, your hair flying everywhere from all the wind, yet in this moment he thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life.

He had reached over and had grabbed your hand with a smile.

“I promised I wouldn’t leave you, remember?”

“But..-”

“No, (Y/N). There's countless of dance schools that I can go to in my free time and I already talked to my parents about it and they're okay with it. They were more worried about you and me going to different schools,” he had chuckled, “I think they know I'm lost without you.”

“So am I,” you had chuckled as well and had leaned your head against his shoulder, “I wouldn't know what I'd do without you.”

“Me neither..”

The third was when you were already in high school.

There was this construction site near your house, abandoned, because whoever had bought the lot wasn't able to finish what he has had in mind because he didn't have the means to do so.

It wasn't a rare find, abandoned construction sites were normal, but this one was special.

Someone had come up with the rumor – as you had later found out – that the real reason the owner abandoned the lot was because it was cursed. Or more specifically, a treasure that was beneath the construction site, was.

Some people were scared about that curse and stayed away, others came just for the curse and wanted to see if it was true and then yet again others were so determined to find it, curse or no curse, that they began to pilgrim there with their metal detectors and other equipment that you could never afford, just because they thought they could make the find of their lives – joke was on them when they found out it had all been a lie.

Him and you were neither of these people, but since the construction site was so close to your home, you often watched these people with ice cream in your hands and a belly full of laughter.

However, curiosity got the better of you in the end and you two ended up going, very late at night when nobody was there anymore and when the two of you were definitely not supposed to leave the house anymore.

You didn't even really do anything, you just stood in the middle of the construction site and looked around, him jumping at even the slightest of sounds – so much for not being scared, like he always told you.

“Do you want me to get you some diapers from the grocery store?” you had laughed when he had jumped once again and was walking closer and closer to you, until he was suddenly right next to you with his hands wrapped around your arm.

“Shut up,” he had laughed and pressed himself so close to you that you ended up wrapping your arms around him.

“I got you,” you had smiled.

And then you just stood there like this.

Hugging each other and slowly but surely your smile faded when you realized what you had actually just said, because.. you meant it.

This guy in your arms.. no matter what would happen you would always be there for him, you would always offer an embrace and he could always fall back because you would always be there to catch him.

“I got you,” you had repeated as a whisper, more serious this time, “Forever.”

And he knew you meant it by the way he tightened his own arms around your body.

The fourth was when you were both 16.

The two of you had been alone at his house, his parents out for a date and his brother doing god knows what.

You two had just played some video games, hadn't really been doing anything interesting until he remembered that his parents had bought some Soju and hadn't finished it. And because you two were curious about what it would taste like and kind of liked to be rebellious at that stage, you ended up trying it.

Not even a lot, only one glass each, but because neither of you had ever drunk any alcohol before, you were.. funny afterwards.

Not drunk, definitely not drunk, but funny.

You laughed a lot more and ended up dancing in the living room. Him properly, you just flailing your arms and legs around like Squidward from Spongebob.

He had laughed uncontrollably and had stopped you from doing so by standing right in front of you, pressing your arms down against your sides.

You had been so close, your noses touching, both still out of breath from laughing and dancing and..

..you couldn't tell whether it was the alcohol or the feelings, or maybe it was both, but suddenly his lips were on yours.

It was a short kiss, but it was so.. soft.

You remembered how hesitant you both were, but once he pulled back and looked into your eyes, there was no regret, you both just.. smiled.

Because you knew that this would happen eventually and you wanted it to.

You wanted to remember all these moments for the rest of your life and be able to look at them with a smile..

..if it weren't for that fifth moment.

“You promised you'd never leave me!” you had screamed at him, sobbing uncontrollably as you threw pillow after pillow at him, “You're a fucking liar!”

“Please, listen to me,” he had tried to calm you down, but there was no use.

You just continued crying until he ended up doing the same, because his own heart broke upon this sight.

Looking back to this moment, you knew that you should have handled it differently.

You should have been happy for him and should have encouraged him instead of screaming bloody murder. After all, you had once promised him to be by his side forever to and to always be there for him. But.. you were just so broken in that moment, mostly because he hadn’t even discussed it with you. He hadn’t even told you about any of it..

Your best friend, the love of your life.. he would leave. Forever.

Because you had known back then that he would be big one day.

And when he'd be on all those stages, singing for millions of people, he wouldn't waste a single second with thinking about you, while you'd spend the rest of your life wishing he was by your side..

And it wasn't just the fact that he would leave you, it was the timing as well. Your relationship had shifted ever since you had kissed and.. well.. you had hoped it would be able to develop more..

“Please let's just.. try to talk about this,” he had to leave that same day. And he wanted to fix this before that. He didn't want to leave like this.

But you had been so stubborn and just wanted to be angry and so you had pushed him out of the house with a final: “I hate you! I fucking hate you!”

That was the last thing you ever said to him.

You had broken down in the hallway, your mother trying her hardest to help you, but you had done nothing but cry that day.

And as your best friend left for his new life, he didn't do it with excitement, but with tears in his eyes, because he was afraid that he had made the wrong choice.

Maybe.. maybe he should have just stayed with you.

But if he had, then he wouldn't be who he was today.

Park Jimin.

Member of BTS.

The love of your life that probably didn’t even remember you now..

#bts imagine #bts x reader #park jimin imagine #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #park jimin #jimin #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #reader #mine

[artificialqueens]

After all this time? Always. - Miss_VanessaVanjie

Oh, hi, hello, good evening! I couldn't stop thinking about this idea so I had to write it! (I swear I'm working on the next chapter of Scandal, I swear.)

I can't thank hy_jinkx enough for being such an amazing person and an incredible beta! I wouldn't be able to do it without her and I'm forever grateful for it. Like I always say: I don't deserve you loll ❤

Oh, I almost forgot! I'm taking prompts and any ideas you guys have about this "verse" or even scandal! You can find me as hi-yekaterina on Tumblr! ❤

I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Two ghosts

He couldn’t bring himself to stop staring.

Jose was an amazing performer and he knew that, having seen him perform countless times, but this show was different. Just like his mother always said to him when they went shopping, he could look but couldn’t touch.

Jose wasn’t his anymore. And Brock was okay with that, he really was.

It was just difficult to remember he was okay with not having him anymore when they were like this. In the same space, breathing the same air.

Somehow, Steve had convinced him to come to Vanjie’s last show at Werq the World in Chicago. Not that this had taken Steve a lot of effort. Brock wasn’t blind. He had seen the posts about Jose’s performance, the videos of him dancing.

The videos of his and Kameron’s interactions. But that part he was pretending not to see. He knew well how wild the fans can get, and there probably wasn’t anything but friendship.

And that was why he was there that night, in the 5th row right in the middle. He needed to be noticed, needed him to see he was there. That he still cared.

They were still friends, of course. But Brock wasn't truly a part of Jose's life anymore. He wasn’t the first person he texted in the morning, or the first one to know what he was doing. Fuck, he didn’t even knew about the Fenty Beauty show until he saw him in the after party he went to with Cara.

They didn’t talk there. Jose was busy flirting with other guys, not doing much, other than nodding his head and smiling politely when he saw Brock. It wasn't until the next day that he saw the photobombing, and... yeah, Brock was mad.

But he wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t.

So why did this still hurt like a motherfucker? Why did not knowing Jose was there still bother him so much?

Brock was brought back to reality when he heard Asia say, “I think you should introduce the next queen Kam. Cause, well... you two are pretty close, aren’t you?”

Brock saw the little smile Kameron was giving and he knew who the next queen was. He was used to this tone Asia was using with Kameron, because he used to be close to the same queen. Damn, he used to love her.

Used to?

“Shut up Asia,” Kameron said between giggles. “The next queen is leaving the tour today too, just like me. She’s the most hard working person I know, the loudest, biggest smart mouth and the person with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen, make some noise for Vanessa Vanjie Mateo!”

Brock was there, but his mind made everything seem like a movie, like he was living in slow motion. He saw the big simile Kameron gave to the audience, the way Asia cackled, heard the crowd scream Vanessa’s name. But he couldn’t focus on anything but what Kameron said. Couldn’t think about anything else other than what it could possibly mean.

And then Vanessa was on the stage.The crowd went insane, as always. They loved him, always had and probably always would. Damn, sometimes Brock forget how good Jose looked in drag, how pretty his new mug was, how good his outfits were.

Sometimes Brock forgot that Jose wasn’t his anymore.

Then Vanessa was hugging Kameron, just like she used to do to Brock himself. Kameron was laying his head on top of Vanessa’s, and Brock couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. He knows that feeling. Knows how tight Vanessa’s arms used to be around his waist, or how they used to hold hands before going on stage.

Knows how Vanessa would always watch him perform and how he would always do the same. How after the show Vanessa would always say how good he was, how he’s the best performer she had ever seen and Brock would always think how wrong she was. Because not even once in his life had Brock seen someone perform with the same passion Jose had. Had never seen someone else with so much love for his job. Brock had never met someone like him before. Had never loved someone like him before.

Had never lost someone like him before.

“Brock?” He heard Steve before being able to look him properly. “Everything okay?”

“Great. I’m great,” he said. “Are we’re going backstage to talk to the girls?”

“Actually no, they’re going to an afterparty. Jason asked if we wanted to come.”

“Oh sure, of course. I, um... Jose is coming?”

He saw the way Steve reacted to his question. Saw the way he looked at him, saw the understanding and the pity. Steve knew Brock better than himself and Brock was aware of that. There’s no point in lying to him, to pretend he didn’t see right through him. To pretend he didn’t know how Jose makes him feel after one year.

“So we’re calling him by his name now? Wow,” Steve joked. “Yeah, he’s coming.”

And that was all Brock needed to know.

******

This was probably one of the worst nights out that Brock had ever had.

It wasn't like something bad had happened. If he was being totally honest, nothing had happened at all. And that was the problem.

They were in the same city, in the same place at the same time and that used to be enough.

But all of a sudden it wasn't.

Usually in situations like this, Jose would be all over him, his body pressed against Brock's, lips attached to his ears saying how much he had missed him.

But not that night. No.

Brock didn't go backstage after the show, he couldn't. Not without Steve's judgemental look, or without possibly seeing something he wasn't prepared for.

So he went to the club. He waited.

He almost started to think Jose wasn't going to come, almost thought Steve lied to him.

And then the door flew open and Brock saw him. And it wasn't fair.

Wasn't fair how fucking good he looked, how his fucking shorts made him look even skinnier, or how confidently he carried himself through the room, almost like he owned it, like he owned every single person there.

It wasn't fair how much Brock missed him.

Brock waited for him to come closer, to make some move to at least recognize Brock's existence. But nothing came. Brock wasn't the first person he looked for in the club anymore.

And that didn't hurt him. Didn't hurt him at all. And that was what he kept telling himself, repeating over and over that it didn't hurt, despite his stomach sinking, or the way his heart ached. Because it didn't hurt. It shouldn't.

He watched from the corner as Jose talked with everyone. Everyone but him. Saw him playing around and acting a fool with the dancers, shouting and laughing with Kameron and the other queens. Being happy.

If you asked Brock, he probably would have said that it took almost a decade for Jose to come any closer to him. But it could possibly have been just a minute. He couldn’t be precise in that moment. He was biased.

But Jose finally came closer to where Brock and Plastique were talking. He looked so beautiful that Brock couldn't take his eyes off of him.

"I didn't know you were coming," was the first thing he said. Jose didn't look pissed, he looked curious almost confused.

They looked at each other for a couple of seconds, that if Brock was being honest felt like hours, before he closed the gap and pulled Jose into a hug.

And God, he missed him so fucking much.

"I'm taking a break so I thought about coming to see yo- to see the show," was all Brock managed to say, still holding him.

"I hope you enjoyed it," Jose said, ending the hug. Brock had never felt more empty. "I have to go now, Kamy is waiting for me on the dance floor. We gonna make them eat it!"

And he left.

All throughout the night Brock couldn't bring himself to stop staring, to stop feeling the dizziness in his stomach. Couldn't bring himself to stop feeling jealous.

Sometimes he forgot Jose wasn't his anymore.

Jose seemed fine. Happy. He was acting really cool, dancing, grinding on Kameron. Drinking, taking pictures, smiling and whispering who knows what in Kameron's ears. Brock knew those signs.

Brock knew how Jose acted when he started to feel some type of way - he couldn’t say “fall in love,” he just couldn’t - with somebody. He saw it happen with him, rewatched it almost one year later. He knew the signs.

And that was why it hurt even more. Because he knew, and this time, those signs had nothing to do with him.

He wasn’t the person Jose direct his flirting tones toward, nor his big dazzling smile. He wasn’t the person responsible for that face he always made when he wants a kiss or a hug. He wasn’t Jose's anymore.

And Brock wasn't used to it.

Sure he was "dating" now - if you could call regularly sleeping with the same person dating. He was a nice guy, love animals, was calm and predictable. Brock wasn't going to wake up and find out he got a fucking tattoo on his chest because he was drunk and really loved cats. He was a safe option.

But Brock missed the craziness. Missed the way he never knew what was going to leave Jose's mouth, never knew what he was going to do next.

But most importantly, he missed Jose.

The Jose only Brock got to know. The soft version that always said I love you before ending a call because "you're old imagine if one day you wake up and forget who am I like that fucking movie, I'm just preparing myself."

The one who knew Brock's favorite type of food, knew his fears, his dreams. Knew how Brock's anxiety got the best of him sometimes.

He missed the little things too. Like how well their hands fit together. How tiny Jose was and how he hated when somebody mentioned that, but would blush every time Brock called him “my tiny toes.”

Brock missed Jose more than he was proud to admit. And that was why he was following Jose's every move, was watching everything he did.

And that was why he was going to the bathroom now. Because he needed to talk to him. Needed to explain.

When he opened the door, he saw Jose standing there, back to the mirror. Almost as if he was waiting for him.

And Brock thought that he probably was.

"What the fuck are you doing, Brock?" Was the first thing Jose said, and Brock thought that getting shot would probably hurt less.

"What do you mean? I just went to the bathroom." Brock forced a smile.

"You fucking know what I mean. Coming here, watching the fucking show like it's nothing. Like we didn't talk to each other since that shit show that was the Branjie show." Jose almost shouts, and Brock was almost happy, because that was the closest he came from feeling like he still cared, like the Jose he used to know was still there.

"And like it wasn't enough, so you come to the after party, looking at me all the time like I personally kicked Apollo and Henry," Jose said. "What are you doing here? For real this time."

"I don't know, okay? I just really wanted to see you. I miss you, J. I fucking miss you. And seeing you flirting with Kameron fucking pissed me off." It was Brock's turn to shout. "How can you do this? Acting like that in front of everybody? In front of me! That fucking hurts me."

Jose looked at Brock like he had grown a second head or something, like what he just said didn't make any sense to him.

Like Brock was a stranger.

"I'm not your boyfriend, ya know? I'm not a tall Canadian zoo guy or the fuck he does for a living," Jose finally spoke, "I'm the one you kicked after my birthday. The one you said on national television wasn't enough, that I made you feel tied down, the one that scared you and that made you realize you had 'commitment issues'. So you for sure shouldn't care about who I kiss, or who I flirt with. You never did, why start now?"

And then he walked away.

Bock wanted to say something. Anything. Tell him that he was wrong, that he was enough, more than enough. He was everything Brock thought he would never have and everything he thought he didn't deserve.

He wanted to say something. Shout, cry, beg for forgiveness. But for the first time he didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to make him stay, because all throughout Brock’s life, Brock was the one that walked away, the one that ended things. He had never had to do this before, had never felt so lonely and hopeless.

He had never lost someone like Jose before.

Ao3 link

#rpdr fanfiction #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #branjie #kameron michaels #asia o'hara #angst #aatta #miss vanessavanjie

[sunflowerstrays]

lost

choi san x reader x jeong yunho.

words: 2.5k.

genre: angst/fluff.

summary: feelings hurt, especially when your best friends are involved.

warnings? none.

---

San loved to watch you dance. As a dancer himself, he understood the thrill of performing on stage, showcasing your talents. And you were so talented at dancing. The fluidity that you had when you danced left San breathless. That was exactly how he felt right in that moment, seeing you twirl in front of him.

He was sitting comfortably on the couch in the dance room, his best friends Wooyoung and Yeosang either side of him. Both of them were also watching you, but neither of them felt as entranced by you as San did. There was just something about you that left him feeling light headed.

You finish the song with a powerful move that leaves you staring at your own reflection in the mirror very intensely. In that moment you looked like a warrior emerging from battle, victorious and powerful. Half a second later you jumped up, bringing your feet together before running over to the couch, looking like an excited puppy.

You bounce from foot to foot in front of the three boys as Mingi pauses the music in the corner of the room. Wooyoung doesn’t hesitate in giving feedback, running his hands through his hair as he comments on every single step in your performance. Yeosang interjects with a comment every so often as well, and San could see you taking mental notes on every single word they’d say.

“I think you looked really cool,” Mingi even chimes in whilst messing around on the stereo system. “Like, I’ve never seen someone end a dance so well before. You put San to shame!”

The compliment makes you blush, and you look so cute in an oversized sweater and shorts with your cheeks turning pink. San just wants to wrap his arms around you, bring you on to his lap and squeeze you against his chest. Instead he just smiles at you, painfully knowing that his dreams won’t become a reality.

“What did you think San?” You ask innocently, drawing the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands in the way he loves. Distracted, San has to clear his throat and struggles to form a coherent sentence.

“Incredible, as always,” San smiles at you, making you grin brightly. You spin on the spot, stretching your arms above your head as you mumble to yourself about the improvements. San’s heart is lifted as you step lightly, practising some of the steps again.

Wooyoung receives a phone call, and darts out of the training room as you ask Mingi to press play on the song again. You only focus on the parts of the song that you were told you needed to improve - that was no surprise, because you were the biggest perfectionist that San had ever met. It isn’t until Wooyoung returns with a cold looking Yunho that San has his attention drawn away from you, and his heart crushed.

Yunho runs straight over to you and wraps you in a hug, making you squeal because of the cold coming from his coat. He kisses your cheek once, twice, and with each kiss San feels like it’s a bullet wound straight to his heart.

It wasn’t fair. You were San’s friend first and foremost. You’d been his best friend the whole way through school, joined the same entertainment company as him when you were both young and excited to have the world at your feet. He had been your shoulder to cry on, and you had been the one that had dealt with all the emotion of him debuting with ATEEZ.

He had slowly fallen in love with you over the years, but you had fallen in love with someone else.

That was why you were now glowing as you sat in a corner with Yunho, gazing at him with complete adoration as you listened to whatever he had to say. You hung off of every word that he said, which honestly San found ridiculous. Half the things Yunho said never made much sense, yet you still held them as gospel. Yunho was the same though; he was absolutely whipped for you, and would move mountains if you asked him to.

Only one person knew about San’s unrequited love for you, and he was looking at you with pity in his eyes. Mingi had paused the music now and was waving San over, trying not to drag the attention of Wooyoung or Yeosang, both who were chatting over San’s head about last night’s variety show.

“So I’ve been working on this rap recently, and I was wondering if you could read through it for me?” Mingi asks, and San is grateful for the distraction. Because Yunho was trying to wriggle his hands under your jumper to wind you up as you were complaining about his hands being cold against your warm skin. And San felt sick watching the pair of you.

So he focuses hard on the words in front of Mingi, but they swim in front of his eyes. He rubs them, knowing that he wasn’t crying, and they blur back into focus. In the mirror he can see you follow Yunho out of the practice room, and Yeosang makes a whooping sound that makes the pair of you blush hard. San has to swallow the foul taste in his mouth afterwards.

Later that evening, Yunho finally returns to the dorm. He is looking somewhat disheveled, but still has this glow on his face that falling in love does to someone. Yeosang and Seonghwa pause their competitive game of Mario Kart and start teasing the boy, making him blush as he slumps into the sofa beside San. No matter what he does, he just can’t seem to escape Yunho these days. It was almost as if the world wanted to rub it in that Yunho had one, and San hadn’t.

“Fun evening?” Hongjoong asks as he wanders into the main living space, headphones around his neck. He had been burrowed away in his room all evening, working on new music as usual. San had tried joining him to block out the thoughts that were bothering him so bad, but nothing creative was coming from him.

Eventually he could sense Hongjoong growing annoyed of his short temper, and left to read somewhere quiet. Only quiet wasn’t a word that the rest of his group were familiar with, and as a result had to read a page three times before processing what the words meant.

“Wasn’t too bad,” Yunho giggles like a schoolboy, shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets and resting his head against the wall. “Up to much?”

“We can imagine you were,” Wooyoung snickers, making Yunho roll his eyes. Jongho covers his ears, clearly bothered at the thought. San felt the exact same, but wasn’t going to draw unnecessary attention to himself. He just keeps his eyes focused on the book in his hands and pray that everyone else left him alone.

But naturally that wish would not be answered.

“San, everything okay?” Yunho asks innocently, “you’ve been really quiet today. I haven’t annoyed you, have I?” Mingi looks up from the game on his phone to raise an eyebrow.

“Of course you haven’t,” San says as enthusiastically as he can. “I’m just not feeling one hundred percent. I think y/n might have given me the bug they were suffering from last week.” Yunho seems to believe you because he relaxes again, shutting his eyes as he rests.

“Yeah, they are feeling much better now,” he replies, this dreamy tone in his voice that makes San feel sick.

“I’m sure they are after this evening,” Wooyoung remarks, making all the boys laugh again. San forces himself to laugh along to the crude jokes, but all he wanted to do was cover his head with a pillow and scream.

You were asleep in Yunho’s bed when San returns to his room later that evening. The worst thing about his roommate dating his best friend is that he was sometimes subject to hearing the two of you talking late at night, or worse. For the most part though Yunho gives him a heads up on when you’ll be staying over, or they will sleep at yours instead.

Yunho was still in the shower after practice, and you were exhausted from your own training all day. It was why you were passed out on the sheets like a hibernating bear, shivering slightly from the cold. San lets out a defeated groan before walking over to you, and covering you with Yunho’s blanket.

“Yunho?” You whisper quietly, reaching for San’s arms as he tries to step away. “I thought you said you’d be showering?”

“He is. It’s me, idiot,” San says, feeling a pain in his chest as you open one eye to inspect. The sleepy look on your face transforms into a smile as you recognise your childhood best friend, completely oblivious of his painful feelings for you.

“Oh, hi idiot,” you pipe back, making him roll his eyes. San stands up and tries to leave you to sleep some more, sensing the exhaustion in your body. But you grip his wrist and pulled him back down. “No, don’t leave. Yunho takes so long in the shower, and you’ve woken me up now. The least you can do is keep me company.”

“I was just trying to be a gentleman, Y/N! Stop being so hostile,” San chuckles, but takes a seat on the cold floor beside you anyway. You choose to ignore his words, and continue rattling on in a tired state.

“We don’t spend as much time together anymore, San,” you sigh, rolling on to your side and facing him. He was so close to your face, your lips, that his heart beat speed up and his cheeks would flush a lovely blossom pink. You don’t notice, or at least don’t point it out to him. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” San sighs, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them as he stares at you. What he would give to have you looking so loved up and warm on his bed, underneath his blanket, instead of Yunho’s. His voice could be faintly heard down the corridor, and in the silence that follows, you smile at it.

“Then why don’t we hang out as much?” You ask innocently, and it’s then that San truly realises that you have no idea what you are doing to him. That you don’t understand the pain that hits him whenever you begin to glow when Yunho is mentioned. That you wouldn’t know how much it affected him when you would sit next to Yunho instead of him now.

“Busy,” San mutters, dropping his head to his arms and staring at the door. Yunho had stopped singing now; he would be climbing out of the shower and getting ready to join you again. Time was running thin, and San was losing his opportunity to be entirely honest with you.

“But the other boys are never as busy as you are. I’m starting to think you are avoiding me, San,” you complain, sitting up and letting the blanket slip off of your shoulders. The adorable pout on your face makes San’s palms sweat; he was so hopeless when it came to you, it hurt.

“I’m not avoiding you, Y/N,” San sighs tiredly, running a hand through his hair. You watch his every move, searching for an answer as to why your best friend was growing so distant. He wanted to scream at you sometimes; why couldn’t you realise that you were slowly killing him like this.

“Then why-”

“I don’t know,” he says with a huff, “Maybe it’s because I don’t feel you’ve got any time for me anymore. You spend all your time with Yunho now, or with the other boys. You haven’t got any time for just me.”

Once the words are out there, San regrets them immediately. That was far from how he wanted to tell you how he felt, and as you sat on Yunho’s bed with your features looking crushed, he wanted to slap himself. Eat his words. Learn magic just so he could make you forget them.

“You’re jealous,” you say, not sounding remotely bitter or angry at him. Just sad and disappointed. San had no problem handling you when you were angry - you had spent most of your teenage years wanting to start a fight with him, after all - but this would break him. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner, San?”

“I couldn’t,” San chokes out, his throat closing in on him. “You were too happy. You hadn’t noticed. I-”

Yunho bursts into the room, his hair damp and messy and searching for you eagerly. He sees you sat up, raises an eyebrow at San who is sat beside you on the floor, before joining you on his bed.

“Everything okay San?” Yunho asks curiously, evidently noticing the change in atmosphere in the room. San nods, lifting himself from the floor gracefully and dragging himself to his drawers. He picks out some clothes to change to before darting down the hall to the shower. “Y/N?”

“San just said something that confused me, but it’s all okay,” you smile, moving over to make room for him. “Feeling better now?”

Yunho snuggles into your side happily, tracing your body with his fingers and teasing you into that sleepy state you were in fifteen minutes ago. But although you feel sleepy and loved by the boy, what San had said is still bothering you. You couldn’t believe that you had let yourself ignore how he was feeling for so long, and want to apologise to him immediately. You wanted your dorky best friend back.

Yunho falls asleep instantly, hands wrapped tightly around your waist whilst he snoozes, hot breath fanning your shoulders. The door opens quietly, letting in a beam of light and the shouts of Yeosang losing at Mario. A figure slips inside the room, and you can tell by the silhouette that it is San.

“Hey, San?” Your whisper makes him shoot into the air, clutching his chest as he stares at your lying figure. He traces Yunho’s body beside you, sighs, and climbs into his own bed across the room.

“Goodness, Y/N, don’t make me jump like that,” he whispers back, curling up alone in his sheets immediately. “Why are you still awake?”

“I’m sorry,” you say, “I really am. I’ll try and be better from now on.”

Your words cut San down, because he knew that you were going to take the whole blame for yourself. It wasn’t your fault he had a massive crush on you, and it wasn’t your fault for being happy in a new and healthy relationship. But before San could convince you otherwise, you had rolled over and faced Yunho again, attempting to fall asleep.

And just like he did everytime, San had lost you again.

#ateez #ateez san #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez mingi #ateez yunho #ateez jongho #ateez wooyoung #ateez writing #ateez yeosang #san #choi #choi san #jeong yunho #yunho #kpop #kpop writing #kpop fanfic #kpop au #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #kpop text #kpop requests #kpop text posts #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez fiction #ateez fanfiction

[xoruffitup]

Adam Driver/Pale in Burn This

It’s now a week since I saw the play, and less than a month until I go back for Opening Night! Now that I’ve had some time to process past the initial fangirl feels and “He was so incredible, HOW?!”, I’ve finally got more substantive reflections on Adam’s performance and character. (Warning: Spoilers abound!)

This has got to be one of the most interesting and demanding roles Adam has ever played. (Except for maybe that weight loss for Silence) The character of Pale encompasses practically the entire spectrum of human emotion - Including the primal extremes of soul-wrenching grief and violent, blistering rage; along with the tender stillness of affection between the two. The amount of energy Adam expends traveling between these polar extremes so often and so quickly throughout the play is simply awe-inspiring. Somehow, there’s never a moment that feels forced or melodramatic. The most compelling and compulsively attractive quality of his character is his overwhelming vitality - His overzealous emotions, the honest brunt of his emotional expression that is abrasive and shocking and disquieting, because there’s never a single moment when it is filtered through niceties, excuses, or pretense. He is the embodiment of primal instinct and the depth of hard, gritty human emotion most of us would often rather not confront. 

(Also, he has a New York accent through the whole thing. Think the coffee shop skit from SNL.)

I already explained in another post how I saw the play, at its heart, being about the conflict between socially-mediated and disingenuous human emotions vs. the chaotic but purpose-giving deeper forms of human experience. Burton and Pale are representative of these two different modes of being, and Anna finds herself torn between them. Although Pale’s character is brash, crude, and insensitive, his unapologetic honesty and the sheer force and size of his personality make this a performance that is unforgettable in its authenticity and compulsion. He is truly perfectly cast. The director, Michael Mayer, stated very aptly: “Adam has this explosive, dangerous, unpredictable animal quality that really is this character Pale.”

Before I recount the particularly memorable moments of Adam’s performance, I do want to examine the character himself a little bit first. I have to admit, I think I would feel a lot less charitably towards the character had anyone else portrayed him. This is half because Adam has a way of making the character insistently charming, and of course half because I have an instinct to always love Adam on sight. :)) But because I can never quite turn off my feminist analysis lenses, there are still plenty of aspects to this character I have problems with. 

Yes, he’s technically separated from his wife, but he’s still cheating and the fact that he doesn’t tell Anna he’s married before they sleep together is highly suspect.

He lapses into violence when he and Burton meet, and never knows when to draw the line when it comes to being antagonistic. He never pulls his punches, neither in actions nor in words.

While it’s clear Anna reciprocates the attraction, he keeps assuming his welcome and access to her sexually, before giving her the space to work through the many complications their relationship causes. 

He makes unacceptable comments about Anna’s body before they’re intimate. (”You know you got no tits at all.” Yes, it’s a funny moment and Adam pulls it off for genuine laughs without it sounding lecherous, but still a red flag.)

He never confronts or admits the fact that he should have been more present for his brother. Anna says that Robbie talked about Pale and liked him, but Pale never seems to give full recognition or respect to Robbie’s sexuality or his artistic endeavors as a dancer. (It sat heavy with me when he used a slur to refer to Robbie and Larry.)

There were a couple moments when the character vacillated a little too close for comfort towards thoughtless, irreverent masculinity. Without Adam to endear the character to me, it’s likely I would have come away disliking him in full. 

But then - There were the touching, debilitatingly gentle moments that Adam portrayed with such feeling, it was impossible not to be taken in and share this character’s pain. 

He weeps. A lot. I mean full-body, hiccuping, sniffling, red-face weeping. Adam would sweep his hair back from his face, and that wasn’t the face of an actor working to manufacture tears - It was the face of an utterly broken man trying desperately to hold the tears back.

The sounds that are impossible to distinguish between screams and sobs. The first time he breaks down, he sinks to his hands and knees and with his head hanging, just starts screaming under the weight of everything he’s feeling. It’s jarring and unexpected, after his character spent the last 10 minutes in a rapid-fire, curse-laden monologue bitching about parking and how dirty and shitty the whole city is. But these screams aren’t angry anymore. They’re so full of every other emotion, they’ve become empty and helpless. Rather than extending the blistering, raging energy Pale charged in with - The primal sound is him breaking apart and all of the rage cracking open to abandon him, leaving him utterly hopeless. 

Although he makes comments about Anna’s body and her state of undress when she answers the door that hint yes, he notices her, he does seem to fall into their intimacy just as haphazardly as Anna does. This is a very, very fine balance Adam does a fantastic job portraying, because if this were lost then the character would lose any shred of likability or respect. He’s not preying on her because she’s grieving. If anything, it’s actually the opposite. He’s the grieving one in need. When they first sit down on the couch together and he puts his arm around her to hold her, he seems to be the one seeking comfort more than she. Their first physical contact is gentle and respectful, and Pale seems to seek it because he’s the more vulnerable in that moment. And its out of that vulnerability that they share a moment of profound connection. When they kiss, it doesn’t just feel like a distraction. It feels like the first genuine form of mutual understanding that’s happened on the stage so far. 

Although yes, he takes it a bit too far in assuming they’re a ~Thing now and of course they’ll continue sleeping together, this intimacy with Anna is just as bracingly genuine as everything else he does. And although the character can be insensitive, this is not selfish. The intimate moments with Anna are achingly quiet and fragile, showing that both of them are on equal terms to the extent that they’re exposing their true selves to the other. Pale becomes slow, quiet, and tender - The effect equally as impactful as his massive, violent moments; And devastating in its difference from his louder moments.

This line alone - One of the most memorable moments to me, the first time they kiss: “Let’s just start up the engines real slow here … maybe go halfway to the city and stop for somethin’ to eat … You talk to me, okay? … You’re gonna find out there’s times … I’m a real good listener.” He’s opening up and being honest with her about the extent of his own grief, but at the same time wants to give comfort just as much as he’s seeking to receive it himself.

The fact that he LISTENS when Anna breaks thing off, and finally gives her space to think everything through and make choices independently. The way he silently got dressed, tied his shoes, gathered his things, and gave her that last soft kiss before he left. 

“I’m gonna cry all over your hair.” - Delivered as a chagrined apology.

While looking up the script, I found this quote in a summary of the play and it really captures Pale’s essence perfectly: “Menacing, profane, dangerous and yet oddly sensitive, Pale is both terrifying and fascinating and, in the end, the one who brings to Anna the unsettling but compelling love that, despite her fears and doubts, she cannot turn away.”

NOW, let’s talk about Adam. It’s no exaggeration to say his first appearance on stage is as a literal hurricane. He doesn’t appear until about 15 minutes in, but then remains on stage for about 30/40 minutes in a blistering, restless bundle of raw energy. He is utterly absorbing, even entrancing. First he’s stalking around the stage yelling about the traffic, bitching that his pants and shoes have dirt on them, criticizing Anna and her apartment. Then he and Anna begin probing the topic of Robbie, and he starts coming apart - His rage unraveling into loud, dramatic misery. Once he sinks to a level of such wretchedness that Anna begins trying to comfort him, their exchanges turn gentle and sympathetic. She leans against him to comfort him, he puts an arm around her, and next thing you know they’re gently kissing. It’s nothing short of a stunning progression, considering that during Adam’s first five minutes yelling on the stage when he seemed clearly repugnant to Anna, I could not for the life of me see how these two were going to end up attracted to each other. And then within a half hour together, it happens. And it’s believable and incredibly touching - Thanks in large part to Adam’s insane range that enables him to embody such polar opposite emotional states and unite them within a single convincing character. 

LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT PURPLE ROBE SCENE. He comes out from Anna’s bedroom in her purple silk kimono-style robe and it’s THE MOST HILARIOUS SHOCK I’VE EVER SEEN. My brain needed a moment to process which was a DAMN SHAME because he first comes out with the robe untied and just underwear underneath before he ties it. So people - Be ready to check out that chest for those couple seconds it’s on display!! :’D

He then spends a few minutes struggling to get his massive arms through the billowy sleeves with holes in weird places, and it’s simply hilarious. As if him wearing this robe (and paired with knee-high socks!!!) wasn’t enough, this entire scene just becomes more and more golden. When Anna’s roommate Larry offers him tea, Pale admonishes him for making it wrong and goes to make a proper pot of tea himself. So picture this - Adam in a women’s purple silk robe, expertly fussing with a kettle on the stove, then very precisely pouring out tea with a dishtowel wrapped around the kettle handle (to keep from burning him of course.) I just.... cannot believe I was blessed to witness that. :’)

I honestly don’t know how Adam doesn’t lose his voice! He does an insane amount of yelling and screaming, and holds nothing back. But even as he’s yelling most of his lines, he’s sending the audience into hysterics every other minute. Pale’s monologues are absurd and bizarre and only half lucid. It would be so easy for both actor and audience to just get lost adrift in these long verbal onslaughts - But Adam manages to give meaning to everything, and also somehow convey a connection between his far-fetched rants and some emotion the audience can tap into. The way Pale sees the world and the descriptions he uses are thoroughly unconventional and strange - And yet Adam’s delivery elevates them to more than just the ravings of a man on amphetamines. He becomes insightful, perhaps even clever, with a total lack of self awareness and thus zero pretensions. 

All in all, the two most important elements of Adam’s performance:

He can deliver the kind of sweeping, consuming, all-encompassing emotion and desperation that this character demands

He can balance the spectrum of the character’s explosive emotional displays with just enough control to make Pale someone we can still root and feel for. He makes Pale just purposeful enough that he never quite hurdles past the point of losing self-control or becoming unhinged. Yes, his character is unsettling and threatening in some moments (we certainly believe Anna when she says she is scared of him), but he is not aggressive or violent by nature. The audience can recognize that the volatility within him is just as likely to turn him gentle and sincere as it is to cause the explosive moments. We can feel all too easily why Anna cares for him so quickly and deeply. 

Not only does Adam bring the character to life with unforgettable spirit and biting intensity, he also brings heart and sympathy to a character who - for me - could easily have had neither on the page. I’m so thankful I got to see this stellar performance, and it’s truly no exaggeration to say Adam is hands-down one of the most talented actors in the biz. I hope lots of fans will get the chance to see him in this insane, brilliant role. <3 If anyone has any further questions at all, I would be more than happy to answer!

#Adam Driver #Burn This #Broadway #driverdaily

[thecasualinsomniac]

Rollercoaster Dancer

Everyone needs some dancing Virgil in their lives, right?

Pairings: LAMP

Warnings: broken hand mention, hospital mention (nothing serious)

Song imagined/listened to whilst writing this piece because it’s what I’ve had on repeat for the past three days because I love it: Rollercoaster by Bleachers

I’m dead tired and wrote this in one go, who needs editing? Psh. Anyway, enjoy this thing that wouldn’t let me sleep until I wrote it. I do not dance, so I’m sorry I can’t actually describe dancing, but I gave it my best. Listen to the song

——————————————————————————————————————————

When Roman, Patton, and Logan decided to go get groceries in order to restock on cookie dough, pancake batter and crofters, they of course invited their fourth boyfriend Virgil to go with them. 

It had started with Patton and Roman, constantly flirting and blushing. While both were sweet on their own, it was saturatingly overwhelming for Logan and Virgil, their roommates, to be around them. Especially since Logan and Virgil were also in love with Roman and Patton. A month passed of Logan and Virgil spending less time around the pair before they asked Logan to be their boyfriend as well; they wanted to ask Virgil too, but they barely saw him enough anymore to catch him for a minute to ask him before he was back out the door. 

It was agony for Virgil to be around the happy trio. 

Golden Patton, with rounded edges, freckles, bright blue eyes and plump pink lips that practically begged to be kissed. Kind Patton, who made sure he ate and left cookies outside of his room when he was having a bad day and cried anytime Virgil cried. Gentle Patton, who’d made Virgil’s patchwork hoodie by hand for his birthday when Patton found out Virgil had never gotten a birthday present before, the hoodie that Virgil was now rarely seen without, a constant source of comfort and feeling of love. 

Elegant Roman, with green eyes, dark red hair, high cheekbones and a smile that could dazzle anyone, straight or not. Protective Roman, who declared his love for Patton and his friends in grand threats toward imaginary foes and annoying homework, who once decked a man for insulting Virgil and promptly broke the guy’s nose and two of his own fingers. Virgil helped Roman decorate his cast when they got home from the hospital. 

And, of course, brilliant Logan. They’d been friends before meeting Roman and Patton in college. Logan, with his honey brown eyes and dark skin, curly black hair, and deep voice that melted Virgil like nothing else. Passionate Logan, with his unending desire to learn, everything, about anything, with his particular adoration for the universe and astronomy and all things space, who can name all of the constellations in the night sky and tell you the mythology behind them. Mindful Logan, who may be convinced that he feels things less than other people and is entirely too socially awkward, but is the first person Virgil can turn to when he needs to be talked down from a panic attack. 

Virgil was happy for his friends, he really was. They all deserved to be happy and in love, and he knew all three of them to be the most incredible people in existence, objectively. But to be around them together was not healthy, and so he filled his days with other activities. 

They finally managed to catch him at 3 am on Friday night, stumbling in as if he were drunk but was truly just honestly exhausted. He knew they were having a movie night tonight, and so had intentionally stayed out as late as he could, not wanting to be around his best friends as a group but not wanting to be alone in his room while they snuggled on the couch. It had been months since they had all hung out as a group, and each of them was aware that Virgil was avoiding them. After many discussions, they hoped they had figured out why, and intended to remedy the situation as soon as they could get Virgil to sit still for more than a minute. 

Logan woke up on the couch when Virgil came in, and quickly woke the others and Virgil silently slipped out of his shoes beside the door. Logan flipped the switch on the lamp beside the couch before he could leave. Virgil jumped and muffled a scream.

“Virgil! I apologize sincerely, I did not intend to startle you, merely provide some light so you did not trip in the darkness,” said Logan. He noticed Virgil’s hands shaking; pushing the waking Roman and Patton off of his lap, he quickly went over to Virgil. “In for four, hold for seven, out for eight,” he said quietly. Virgil just nodded, breathing with him. Logan watched, relieved, as Virgil slowly stopped shaking. Patton and Roman smiled as Logan sat back down with them on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you guys up, I’ll just go back to bed now,” Virgil said, starting to walk away before Roman caught him.

“Hold on for a minute, dark and stormy, we wanted to talk to you for a minute,” the princely man said. Virgil looked anxious again, but sat down. “Don’t fear, dear darkling, if it were anything bad I would of course protect you immediately,” Roman was quick to reassure him.

“We know you’ve been avoiding us, Virgil,” said Patton, grabbing Roman and Logan’s hands. “We think we know why, and we wanted to talk to you about that cause we think we finally figured out why.”

“Virgil, we’ve been friends for a long time,” said Logan. “You have always been someone who was important to me. Before we were friends, I was worried I would never be able to trust anyone, much less love them.” Virgil’s breath caught, his hands shaking slightly again.

“We’d like you to be our boyfriend,” said Roman, nervously. His legs twitched, and he fiddled with Logan’s hand. “I know we didn’t have a great start as friends, but you keep me grounded and my head from going too far into the clouds. I love Logan, but he’s not nearly as good as you as debating the good and bad qualities of Disney movies with me,” he laughed. 

“It’s ok if you want to take some time to think about it, kiddo,” said Patton. He looked at Virgil hopefully. “But you really need to know that you mean the world to us, and it’s made us really sad not to have you around. We need you with us, like Roman said, to keep us grounded, but also because you’re you. You make sure we turn the oven off and lock the doors at night. You text us when we go out to make sure we get there and back ok. You’re so incredible at everything you do, and we would be so incredibly happy if you do want to join us. If you don’t want to, though, that’s ok too-“ he was interrupted as Virgil lunged forward to hug the three of them with a breathy YES. They slept all together on the couch that night. They all woke up with back pain, but it was totally worth it to see Virgil’s smile in the morning when they all kissed him when they woke up. 

It had been three months since then, three glorious months of love unlike anything Virgil was ever aware was possible. He loved being around his loves, his best friends, his boyfriends, but found himself missing some of his hobbies from when he spent most of his time alone. Well, one in particular. 

Which is why, when Roman, Patton and Logan invited him to the grocery store with them, he declined in favor of having the house to himself. 

It took ten minutes just to clear away all of the furniture in the living room, enough space for him to move freely. It took another few minutes to shed his hoodie and other clothes, down to a tank top and leggings, and connect the music to the speakers. He cranked the volume, and got into position as the first notes came out, and he was off. 

The grocery store was closed for renovations, so Logan decided that they would go back into town the next day to go to the other store, which wasn’t open on weekends. They headed back home, and in the garage heard the music from the living room. They looked at each other a little confused, for Virgil usually just listened to his music on headphones. 

They cracked open the door, unsure if they should be concerned or not, only to slip into the kitchen and look into the living room in shock. 

Virgil flew through the air as if gravity was nonexistent. They realized, each individually, that they’d never actually seen him without baggy clothes and a hoodie on, and each individually realized how extremely gay they were for their boyfriend. 

Long and lean, defined muscles showed through his tank top and leggings. He’d danced for years, stopped in college, then got back into it before joining his boyfriends. It was his favourite way to burn his anxious energy, whipping into spinning circles and flowing with the music. He’d mainly studied ballet, but had spent his downtown just dancing, and it showed how much fun he was having just rocking out to the 90s sounding song. 

When the song ended, he was panting and covered in a sheen of sweat, but he was happy. It felt good to dance again. He looked up when Patton clapped; Roman and Logan just looked at  him in awe. Under normal circumstances, he would’ve panicked and immediately tried to hide, but everything just felt too good not to just stay. He smiled at them, and held out his hand, inviting them to dance as the song started over. 

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #lamp #dancing #cuteboyfriendsbeingcute #rollercoaster #bleachers

[popliar]

BTS: Love Yourself in Hong Kong

23 and 24 March 2019 - I loved it and had many thoughts about it below the cut.

For the Saturday 23 March show, our seats were basically looking onto the podium at the end of the catwalk so they were great. But the venue is honestly so small that any seat would've been good - this was the 3rd of 4 shows in Hong Kong, and probably the smallest shows they played on the Love Yourself tour and the smallest they'll play in years (except for Muster, lol).

For the Sunday 24 March show, our seats were one section further away from the stage, but it was still a great view with a broader angle that gave me a better view of the staging and VCRs. Both nights, I had a better view than I did at the Sydney Wings show in 2016 - this was just a smaller, closer arena.

And I enjoyed both shows so much! The shows were almost 3 hours long each but they felt like they went by in a flash. And they played so many songs, but also there were SO many more I wish they could've played - their discography is really wild at this point, it's just PACKED with hits.

In many ways the live show is the ultimate piece of fan memorabilia - but it holds a kind of tension within itself too. On the one hand, it's a unique, irreplaceable experience that can't be duplicated or repeated. On the other, especially in kpop where we have so much access to fancams and concert footage, there's pressure for the experience to meet the expectations that we have, to live up to the hype of the previous shows.

(Those two things play off each other too. How else would we - or some of us, anyway - know to watch out for those micro deviations, those little moments when Jimin runs away from Namjoon in Anpanman, when Taehyung and Jin look like they're gonna make out in So What?)

But this idea of the experience as unique and non-replicable is not quite true or not quite as simple as that. We live in an age of digital media and - this is especially true in kpop - incredibly high quality fancams and photos. Sitting at a remove of many metres, and viewing only one side of the stage, there were definitely moments that I 'missed' and had to discover later through social media. And also there's a concert DVD and a concert movie which captures maybe not your show in particular, but the essentials of this tour.

One thing that can't truly be replicated - the atmosphere. It made me laugh, in a delighted way, when the crowd just screamed and sang along to every MV and BT21 CF shown before the show. I just love the comraderie of fandom, the build of excitement. Or how pretty it looked when all the Army bombs were lit up, or when we all took out our phones. It was a good feeling. (Though as @proteinscollide said some Korean-speakers in the row behind us pointed out - it was noticeable that the crowd was much quieter when it was the Korean rather than English! LOL.)

Some of the very brief ments early in the show were repeated the following night, but their ending ments were unique to each evening. A Cantonese translator from behind the scenes translated after each of them spoke, except when they spoke in English - this helped me a little, but my Cantonese is so poor and the crowd was so LOUD that again I had to check on twitter afterwards for full translations! A few of them tried to also say some phrases in Cantonese which was very endearing; out of them all, Hoseok had the best pronounciation (which I guess fits in well with his history of having pretty good Japanese and English pronounciation too).

ETA: oh and I loved Jin with the disco ball sunnies and the pirate mask for each of the end ments!!! He's so ridiculous....I love him....

Notably on the 23rd, it was the first time Namjoon referenced their upcoming Map of the Soul: Persona comeback. On the 24th, he mentioned again that comeback was coming and it felt like it was really soon - you're telling me LOL.

Okay brief notes on the setlist:

Idol - what a way to start the show with a bang. As far as live staging goes, it's so dynamite.

Save Me/I'm Fine - I always feel like Save Me is such a tease because it stops right before my favourite verse from Hoseok and Yoongi lol but I DO love I'm Fine!

Magic Shop - lots of walking around on stage rather than choreo, this is such a lovely song!

Junghope VCR - this VCR omg. I had seen blurry fancams of it before but can we just pause and reflect for a moment on how immensely shippy it is? THEY ARE IN LOVE! SO DOMESTIC! THE RED STRING OF FATE don't look at me.

Just Dance - wow, Hoseok just makes such amazing use of the stage. Even after having seen the LY concert movie and NUMEROUS fancams, it really is true that the full impact of this stage is best experienced live (this is a great thread). The way he uses the entire space, on the raised platform and then on the catwalk, how he interacts with the crowd - he's just DYNAMITE.

Euphoria - the aesthetic of this song is so Jungkook to me, the optimism and the brightness. Also I don't know how but on the first night I somehow did not notice the gold glitter in the air AT ALL? I guess I was too caught up in JK and the dancers!

I Need U/Run - I JUST LOVE THESE SO MUCH THANK U. I was rewatching the MVs today and I just… what a time, what an era. HYYH gave us so much.

Minjoon VCR - this just screams Lake House AU, doesn't it? Separated by time but not space… Speaking of AUs, it's fascinating to think about how this was originally Yoongi and Jimin (shown in the concert DVD behinds). So they originally paired up Serendipity and Seesaw? I think it makes more sense the way it is now. Would be super interesting to see the unshown VCRs though.

Serendipity - I looked for Jimin’s tattoo both nights! And did not see it, argh! Yet the fansite photos clearly show, it was there. Sometimes, you don't see it at all at the time. This is a great stage, Jimin is such a magnetic performer and it's a super impressive dance. Also, bubbles!

Love - the boldness of Namjoon to perform this completely solo, no dancers, no stage effects aside from lighting - I admire that so much. He has the charisma for it. (Also it is very great when Namjoon slips off his robe and Hobi helps him put on his jacket, in a neat reversal of what they did for Boy Meets Evil/BST at an awards show a couple of years ago, p.s. Namseok.)

DNA - The screams for this! Both during the show and before the show when the MV was showing - it really speaks to how many people became fans in the LY era, I think. I think I've come really full circle on DNA. I grew almost tired of it when it was at its peak, but now with a bit of time and distance, I can really enjoy it again. That choreo is still wonderful. (And it's hilarious seeing that Vhope moment in the beginning get more and more casual over the course of this tour. At both shows, they just held hands or just hugged.)

Medley - the first night was I think Boyz with Fun, Attack on Bangtan, Fire, Baepsae, Dope. Second night was Dope, Go Go, Blood Sweat and Tears, Boy in Luv, Fire. I enjoyed both immensely! Hobi did the splits for the Baepsae dance break! I will never be over BST! I LOVE!

Airplane Pt 2 - this is just such a superior song and superior choreo, it's SO GOOD, thank you.

Taehyung VCR - this is so stunning, I can't even. When it pulls back and he puts his hand on the glass… and it frosts over... At the end my friend leaned over and said 'house of psychics' and was she wrong? NO SHE WAS NOT.

Singularity - this stage was immensely beautiful and breathtaking and Taehyung is purely charisma. I found out after the show that he was kind of sick on the 23rd? I honestly could not tell.

Fake Love - I've seen this so many times but you know what, this choreo is still GREAT. And Bangtan in all black, all emo is such a look.

Yoonjin VCR - this was the most straight forward of the VCRs. Again, fascinating to think it was originally Namjoon and Seokjin, Love and Epiphany.

Seesaw - the staging for this is so fun, Yoongi doing his dances and sliding off the bench and running back up again - he's so good at this!

Epiphany - oh good crying time. I did actually get a tear in my eye when this played the first night. It's just a song that means a lot to me… MUSIC, EMOTIONS! A POTENT COMBINATION! And Jin is very handsome.

The Truth Untold - vocal line all in a row like four flowers, they're just so good! The way this stage used the raised platform and the four screens was also really effective. It's such a lovely song.

Tear - I've seen so many fancams for this and the concert movie but I was still? blown?? away????? Rapline are just absolutely monsters of charisma and stage presence, and the way they deliver this with complete commitment - I was slain right there. Hoseok's ending verse, FUCK.

Mic Drop - NO ONE DOES IT LIKE BTS thank u

This was the 'end' of the show but of course we all knew there would be more. Strangely, or perhaps this is cultural, this led to a subdued interlude. There were definitely attempts to get fanchants going - sometimes successful, sometimes not, I laughed a little at some of the awkward pauses - and especially on the 23rd, there was a touching crowd singalong to Spring Day. But overall it was more subdued than I expected given how loudly the crowd did scream when BTS were on stage.

So What - SUCH A CLUB ANTHEM, it was so delightful seeing them all having so much fun! I had fun too! Fun for everyone!

Anpanman - the cutest fucking choreo, and the cutest fucking group, that is all.

Answer: Love Myself - all the ending feels… emotionally wrung out… a little exhausted… but just seeing how happy they looked and how happy I felt - I love concert.

#bts #love yourself tour #hong kong #190323 #190324 #kpop #actually using tumblr as a blog how strange

[outroshooky]

love yourself world tour - newark, nj (9/29/2018)

Where do I even begin?

Last night was one of the most incredible nights of my life, and it didn’t sink in until I woke up this morning and my first thought was “I saw BTS yesterday”. They’re so real to me now- of course, you see them on interviews and you have their photocards and their bon voyage episodes, but it never really feels like they’re truly human until they’re standing in front of you in the middle of twenty thousand people, grinning from ear to ear. The joy radiated from all of their faces, and believe me when I say I'm not exaggerating that they glowed- in fact, they literally did! MELANIN. MEL-A-FUCKING-NIN, they’re so tan! It's so refreshing to see them not-whitewashed!

The energy on stage last night was insane. The Love Yourself concert was also my first ever concert- I don't get out much, haha- and I don't think I could have asked for a better show to take my concert virginity. The vibes and aura radiated from the crowd back to them and from them to us… seeing and hearing and being a part of the ARMY fanchant is an experience unto itself. When I first found my seat in the arena, the first thing I heard was a few thousand voices singing along to Save Me. Honestly, I almost started crying on the spot. Save Me has always had a special place in my heart as being the song that got me into BTS (along with me identifying with the song as a whole) and I had chills listening to it even from walking around in the lower levels on the way to finding my section. The atmosphere literally buzzed with excitement, but morphed into one of love as the night went on. It was written all over their faces just how much fun they were having… but more on all of these points later.

Pre-concert

I found @starlightaetae about an hour after I arrived at Prudential and we waited in line to take a picture together in front of the massive BTS world tour banner set up in the middle of the merch area. I think one of the most refreshing things about walking around before the concert was seeing all seven members equally represented by fans. So many Namjoon stans, and Jin stans too! A lot of people went to the Line store in NYC before arriving at Prudential, and as a result there were tons and tons of people with Bt21 merch, banners, and the like. I saw a girl walking around in a Koya onesie, and that was super cool!

I have never seen such diversity in the fan base as I have with ARMY. Young, old, gay, straight, black, white, tall, short, everything and everyone in between was there at yesterday’s concert. People I never would have guessed to be fans of BTS were walking around completely decked out in merchandise. While we were waiting in line, I saw a trio of sixty-plus women all wearing tour shirts- one of whom even painted her sneakers to say BTS! There was someone else wearing Hoseok’s iconic yellow sweatshirt/basketball jersey look, and they were wearing a wig dyed the color of his hair at the time!

Some of the most impactful moments of yesterday were standing in the middle of the merch area or on lines and watching all of the people mix and mingle around us. Everybody was introducing themselves, hyping each other up because it's BTS, and how can you not? To see all of these people come out, people I never would have guessed to be stans… it was really heartening. I realized just how many people these seven boys have touched, forgoing language and nationality and gender to reach out to people of all ages around the world. Everyone was a really good sport about things; I didn't hear a single complaint from anybody, even when for example the photobooth was closed. People were polite and respectful; some let us take pictures with their pickets, which had sold out by the time I’d gotten there. Overall, there was this energy that buoyed the thousands of us all crammed into the area around the stadium… it was infectious. Some dancers flash-mobbed an entrance and were dancing not only to BTS songs like Fake Love and Lie, but to other kpop songs. About a hundred people were clustered around them, singing along and cheering them on, and yet again I realized just how many people have been impacted by the boys. And then it sunk in that I was standing outside of the building where these same boys were and I lost my shit.

When I walked into the concert venue, my hands were trembling so bad that the usher couldn't scan my ticket for a few seconds because of the shaking barcode. Then it scanned; I was green lighted to go in and it all hit at once. The fanchant was filtering from up the escalator, the air was smoky with fake fog, my knees started shaking and I think at that point Nicole and I grabbed onto each other and cried a little bit because what else were we gonna do, I mean really. We held each other up for a good few minutes, especially when we stepped into a mezzanine section and got a look at the stage for the first time. I could see my upper level section (211!) from where we were standing, and my vertigo kicked in for a few seconds, and then excitement and nervousness took over (I think I should note here that I was actually so nervous that I didn't eat anything yesterday except for two slices of toast for breakfast. It sunk in during the car ride home that I hadn't eaten anything the entire day and then I was starving haha). Nicole and I went our separate ways here, and we waited about an hour and a half from then until the concert started. In the meantime, we waved our ARMY bombs and found each other across the arena (which was fun since it was mostly empty at the time) and just took it all in. The screens were playing BTS music videos, and I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of several thousand people singing Spring Day as one collective voice. Hearing people’s screams when Boy Meets Evil, Blood Sweat and Tears, and I Need U came on gave me chills.

The two seats next to me were empty, so I had relatively free space to move around, except I managed to dump my water bottle all over my drawstring bag and everything inside of it in the first ten minutes of the show… rip my program book, which is still drying out on the kitchen counter. I did manage to grab an extra Magic Shop sign though since mine was ripped and sopping wet. As the minutes ticked down, the energy in the arena grew even more frenzied, with the entire crowd (and forming ARMY bomb ocean!) screaming and bopping along to the Mic Drop music video. At 6:00pm, the lights shut off and Fake Love played, with the entire audience lit up only by light sticks screaming the lyrics. When the intro VCR started playing, I could see part of the stage open up from where I was sitting and I realized I could see the top of Namjoon’s head as they knelt on the platform. That was fucking surreal. Then the VCR ended, the lights shut off, the opening chords of Idol rang through the arena, and the platform raised up.

IDOL

From where I was sitting, it was difficult to see the individual members when they were on the main stage, but that didn't stop me from screaming my head off when Namjoon appeared on the big screen, looked dead into the camera, and said “You can call me artist, you can call me idol!” At this point, I was so overcome with shock that I don't think I actually waved my ARMY bomb for the first thirty seconds of the song. I just stood there attempting to collect my jaw from the floor because holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck it was them. I remember screaming when Yoongi did his little kick and they did that iconic challenge move. It was so freaking surreal, and sounded so identical to the recorded track that I forgot I was listening to them live. Jimin made my heart stop during Idol; the amount of power and precision in his movements was stunning, and it continued to awe me as the night went on. As each of the members came on the screens, it became real that this was them, and they were actually in front of me, and I kept counting to seven because I could not believe that this was actually them. Idol is enrapturing to see live, and I realized that although you can watch their choreographies online and during interviews and shows, you can never truly understand the feeling until you see one live. It takes your breath away, it really does- especially during high intensity songs like the first three they played. Idol was over faster than it had began, and they took the in between time to introduce themselves properly.

Introductions - between Idol and Save Me

When Idol finished, the camera panned among all of the members (who I was glad to see were sipping water as they were talking to us), and we got a look at all seven together for the first time. Namjoon looked into the camera first and beamed. It switched to Taehyung next, who was looking from section to section and grinning his signature boxy smile. He introduced the group with “Hey guys!” and we all pretty much lost our minds. After Tae introduced himself, Yoongi was next and while casually adjusting his earpieces one by one, coyly cupped his hand around his ear and egged us on to scream louder for him. The entire arena erupted for Seokjin, who blew us a kiss (and we hollered even louder). Jungkook scratched his head and flashed a bunny smile with a wave and a “nice to meet you guys!” When Jimin came onscreen, the audience exploded, and his stage persona faded to this shy smile and a wave. And of course, we couldn't forget about Hoseok, who we fawned over with “I’m your hope, you’re my hope, I’m j...!”, letting the audience scream “HOPE!” Seeing all of the boys during their introductions, as small figures on a massive stage yet with their faces filling two giant screens, was freaking incredible. Them! The seven boys we love and adore, introducing themselves to tens of thousands of fans. Their genuine reactions to our cheers made it all the better.

Save Me/I’m Fine

Okay, so I'm not going to lie, Save Me and I’m Fine I have a very personal connection to. Not only was it the song that got me into BTS, but Save Me was the anthem that summed me up best when I found Bangtan- I was falling apart at the seams; the person I relied on for validation and self-confidence was drifting away from me, and I was losing touch of both of us in the mess. Save Me was my anthem at the time- I needed that person’s hand before I fell, except that hand never came, and I fell hard. When I found out LY: Answer would feature a DnB (drum and bass) track, I was beside myself with excitement (DnB is my favorite genre of EDM), and then when I found out that that same track would be the sequel to Save Me… I was in Europe at the time Answer came out, and I'm Fine was the first song I listened to from the album. I was trying desperately to stream it off of international data while we were driving from Germany to Austria, and when the drop came, I actually burst into tears.

These songs are my story, how I turned Save Me into I’m Fine, and it's because of these seven boys that I was rebuilt and actually focused on myself for once like I deserved to. I thought of so many other people that I forgot what it was like to know myself, and I realized that I can't rely on them one hundred percent. At the end of the day, I only have myself. With all of this in mind, when I saw Jimin walk up the stage while singing the opening line of Save Me, I burst into tears. I actually don't remember the performance- thank god I recorded it- because my vision was completely blurry and filled with tears. The fanchant to Save Me was awesome to hear, as well as us singing the lyrics even louder than they were. Seokjin and Taehyung were so powerful during the live version of Save Me, especially when it was them alone on the stage singing. The entire arena yelled “hey, hope world!” during I’m Fine. Yoongi’s rap cleared my skin, raised my chemistry grades, did my laundry and ran me over with a semi. Holy fucking shit, the entire rap line decimated us all in the first ten minutes, and we hadn’t even gotten to Outro: Tear yet. Save Me/I’m Fine were the most emotional songs of the night for me by far.

ARMY Time

Skip this section if you’d like to be surprised by the song they perform during ARMY time, which came about fifteen minutes into the show.

When we arrived at the venue, each seat had a black banner with a flower design on it hung over the armrest. Hangul was written above and below “magic shop”, and according to the back of the banner, the whole phrase translated to “ARMYS are the flowers that grew in your magic shop”. Needless to say, the boys performed Magic Shop, and to hear tens of thousands of people singing “I’ll show you!” so sweetly back to them was really something else. There was no choreography, just them walking around the stage singing to us, and it felt truly intimate, just us and them in our own little world, created by the people in the same room, united by the same love. They are my magic shop, and we are theirs too. Taehyung and Seokjin again stood out here and showcased their vocal talent- the entire vocal line as a whole touched me deeply. When the cameras panned to show an endless row of signs in the audience, it brought it all together, and I felt connected not only to the boys but to every person around me. It was a moving performance, and certainly a magical moment, with the audience and their signs illuminated by the lights of the ARMY bombs and spotlights.

-VCR 1-

Trivia: Just Dance

All of the trivias blew me away, and each in their own special way. Just Dance was the most energizing performance of the night; it was by far the most impressive live solo dance I have ever seen. Hoseok owns the stage; he was born to be up there, and he stole my heart throughout the entire show, but he did the most during his Trivia. He makes it all look so easy; he interacts with the audience with this natural smile on his face that radiates joy. Our ARMY bombs lit up rainbow and the stage glowed purple, which was a gorgeous backdrop since he was wearing all white. I will never hear the first drop of Just Dance the same way again after the insane choreography that Hobi performed. He was flawless and fluid and natural being up there in front of us, dropping into a one legged split and popping back up like it was nothing. He is beyond charismatic and a literal ray of fucking sunshine, especially when he’s dancing and rapping at the same time. Both make him so happy, and that is written all over his face when he performs.

Around halfway through the song, backup dancers ran up onto the stage seemingly from out of nowhere (they ran up stairs in the pit) and Hoseok actually leapt over them while rapping. Even though he’s a single person in the middle of tens of thousands, your eyes naturally gravitated to him- he explodes with energy and passion and power like no other member of the group. He brings his own talent to the stage and awes us, whether it’s rapping or dancing or singing or even just hyping up the crowd. He really does make Just Dance look easy, even when he’s dropping down practically into a split thirty feet in the air on a raised platform.

Long story short, I love Jung Hoseok. Period.

Euphoria

Jungkook awed me during Euphoria most particularly with his vocals. He, much like Hoseok, was born to perform; between his voice and stage presence and impeccably smooth dancing, the best word to sum it all up is fluid. Euphoria is Jungkook’s song; it felt like he was speaking to us when we collectively sang “You are the cause of my euphoria/when I'm with you I'm in utopia”. I loved the lights (with ARMY bombs glowing bright blue!) and backup dancers in plain black. They were little details that didn’t detract from the whole, but rather drew your attention to the main stage and how utterly talented Jungkook is. Euphoria really is his song.

I Need U

The version of I Need U they played at the concert was a rock version that I actually enjoyed more in a live setting than the original song. Yoongi pointed his mic towards the audience for his intro rap part and let us cover it- with some mixed results (we sorta slurred some parts, but we tried)- but he nodded along with us as we sang. He was proud of us. Rather than doing the choreography, the boys stood on stage and listened to the arena sing. The smiles on their faces said it all. We screamed for Jin when he sang his verses, and you could see the visible change in his demeanor when he heard us. Namjoon and Taehyung faced my section for the final chorus, and Yoongi’s little shouts of “I NEED YOU” made I Need U one of my favorite memories from the night by far.

Run

Run was an absolute blast; I honestly can’t tell you who was more hyped, the audience or the boys. When the first drop came, they doused the fans at the barrier with whole bottles of water, which was really fun to see from up above. I don’t listen to Run on the daily, but last night’s performance changed that. It was energetic and explosive, and the whole arena was electrified.

-VCR 2-

Serendipity

Holy shit.

Just holy fucking shit.

Park Jimin.

Serendipity was another of my favorite performances from the night. I chose not to watch the choreography before I saw it live, and that combined with Jimin’s stage presence solidified Serendipity as my favorite intro. It’s such a beautiful, passionately sung song, and as much as Euphoria fits Jungkook, Serendipity fits Jimin. Onstage, Jimin oozes unadulterated charisma and pure sex appeal. You’re almost forced to watch; he is one hundred percent breathtaking, even if he’s simply walking up the stage. Serendipity live is the perfect mix of sweet and sensual, tender and heartfelt lyrics paired with elegant and sultry dance moves. Speaking of sultry dance moves, I was not expecting him to pull up his shirt for a few seconds, and neither was anybody else judging by the screams that elicited from the audience. He grinned for the quickest of moments after hearing us holler for him, and one of my favorite moments of the night actually happened at the end of the song. Jimin faced the camera and sang “Let me love…”, but a smile broke over his face- a real, genuine smile- and he said in the softest, shyest voice, “...love... you.” The screen went black and the arena erupted in cheers. Even in the last fifteen seconds of his performance, you could see Jimin fighting back the urge to smile, and that really made it so special.

Comparing the Jimin from the WINGS tour to the Jimin that we saw last night is like comparing two different people. Watching Burn The Stage, it was clear that he was struggling at the time, both with self love and perfectionism. Last night was like watching a bird freed from his cage. Jimin was comfortable in his own skin. He was happy. He’s learned how to love himself, and seeing the crowd’s reaction to his performance was enough for him to know he’d done well. That final smile and those nearly-whispered words- “love… you…”- said everything he hadn’t.

I love you, Jimin. I’m so proud of you.

Trivia: Love

I made it a point to scream for Namjoon during his solo song, and he got the loudest shouts of the night for any trivia during this performance. Namjoon’s stage presence is something that can only be described when you’re standing there watching him rap, engaging tens of thousands of people who are chanting the lyrics with him as he sings. You could see his pride and confidence build as the song (and concert as a whole!) went on. Love was absolutely engaging and riveting; Joon is a natural up on stage in his element, he was born to rap like this. Seeing Namjoon’s progression from Burn The Stage to last night was sort of like witnessing Jimin’s growth; he found his confidence with Love and made us all his bitch in the process. I fell even more in love with Joon during Love and fell in love with the vibes he gave off- poised, intelligent, intellectual, engaging. Oh, and did I mention he flipped his jacket off and gave us a shoulder tease?

DNA

The boys performed the choreography of DNA on the diamond stage, and although it was difficult for me to see for the most part, I could focus on the general mood of the audience a little more. We were all into it; it was definitely one of the most action-packed dances of the night since they performed it out in the middle of GA. DNA is definitely a crowd pleaser; we devotedly screamed for all of the boys, especially the second verse that’s pure rap line. It was so awesome to see something so iconic be performed right in front of our eyes.

Boyz with Fun/Attack on Bangtan/Fire/Baepsae/Dope

This mashup was explosive onstage and I think this was one of the most fiery performances of the night. Not only was hearing Jungkook rap live so cool, but seeing them go back to their hip-hop roots- and the roots of one of my favorite albums, Young Forever- was a great nod to their earlier music. The transition between Attack on Bangtan and Fire punted me into a level of Dante’s Inferno, and I was subsequently resurrected by the goddamn ferocity of Namseok’s hip thrusts during Baepsae. The rap line brought the fucking house down during Baepsae, and I think sexiest dance of the night would go to Namseok- Namjoon, for his handless, aggressive hip thrusting, and Hoseok for the thrusting he did while in a squat-crouch low to the ground. Dope was also incredible to see live; our ARMY bombs flashed red and the audience was electrified the most during Dope and Baepsae live. I’m not a big fan of Fire or Dope, but they’re back on my daily playlist after last night.

Airplane Part 2

This song was- oh my god.

Nicole and I are two of the biggest Airplane Part 2 stans you will ever meet, and last night’s performance of it destroyed our biases like nothing else.

The crowd screamed so loud when the chair appeared onstage. I’m pretty sure I actually went temporarily deaf at this point, because there was a ringing in my ears that definitely hadn’t been there earlier.

The boys were absolutely beaming throughout the whole thing. The first verse and bridge where Jimin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Namjoon, and Seokjin are passing the mic back and forth, they were grinning from ear to ear when the transitions happened. Just as Jimin passed the mic to Taehyung, he raised his eyebrows and gave us a little grin. Taehyung was smiling like the goddamn sun during his lines, and we screamed Namjoon’s rap along with him. Jimin is so goddamn powerful, and Jungkook’s little smirk when he sang the second half of the chorus was adorable. Jin even winked at the camera once or twice. You could tell they were having fun and legitimately enjoying themselves.

Jungkook’s high notes in Airplane Part 2 made the song, as did Sope’s verses. It was the most captivating performance of Airplane Part 2 I have ever seen. You can watch performance after performance online, but nothing, nothing tops seeing that song live.

-VCR 3-

Singularity

“I DIED DURING THUS SONG DIDOS OH MY GOD MY MANS WENT FOR IT WITH THEM MASKS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF” - @starlightaetae

Nicole sums it up as best as possible. Singularity was one of the most riveting performances of the night. Personally, I don’t listen to Singularity very often, but Taehyung’s performance last night made me fall in love with it. His voice was like silk; Singularity is his baby and it made us his bitch. I loved how the mannequin was brought out and the masks (just like in the video!) had such an awesome effect on the whole thing, especially when Tae put one on himself. He gave this cocky little smirk to the camera before putting it on, and I’m pretty sure Nicole hasn’t been the same since. (“No, I haven’t been the same since!” - @starlightaetae)

I actually preferred the live version of Singularity to the recording simply because of the vibes this version gave off. I didn’t like the music video; for me it was too overwhelming, and a little too strange for my liking, but the live performance was completely enthralling. Taehyung commanding the stage during his intro was different to his previous appearances; you could tell that he was in his element here, and that was so freaking cool to see. I love how between Stigma and Singularity, Taehyung has found his sound, and he’s completely relaxed (and undeniably sexy) when he takes the stage alone.

Fake Love

From where I was sitting, I was able to see the boys line up before the main lights came on, and I pretty much lost my shit. Fake Love is one of my favorite songs, and it’s yet another song that you can see performance after performance of online, but there is nothing as captivating as the live performance. It’s also one of my favorite choreographies and I think the most emotion-filled out of all of their choreos.

Last night, the boys performed the Rocking Vibe mix of Fake Love, which was super cool to see live! I really liked how all of their larger hit songs were played as a rock mix version with drums and guitars, and Fake Love was my favorite rock remix. The crowd was beyond hyped for this song. I get chills whenever I rewatch the recording and listen to the fanchant; I’m pretty sure we sang and rapped almost every line. The crowd screamed when Hoseok and Jungkook did their mirror move and when the other six did their sort of marionette dance around Jimin. Seokjin got so much screen time and love from the audience! The loudest yells of the night were caused by Jungkook’s dual ab teases, and he gave this little cocky smirk after each one. The camera actually zoomed in on his second ab tease, thereby decimating tens of thousands of people in the blink of an eye. After the second ab tease, the camera cut to Jimin, and you could see him smirking too at our screams. Seokjin really went hard dance-wise during Fake Love; I’m so proud of him for how far he’s come with his dancing ability! He was incredible last night, and Fake Love all around was an insane performance- definitely one of the best of the night.

-VCR 4-

Trivia: Seesaw

Min Yoongi.

Min.

Fucking.

Yoongi.

Trivia: Seesaw has shamelessly been my favorite trivia off of LY: Answer since the album came out. I have such an emotional connection to this song; I can relate to it in so many different ways and seeing it live almost reduced me to tears. Yoongi is completely breathtaking when he’s alone. He makes the smallest movements look effortless; he commands that you look at and listen to him, and the entire crowd sang the chorus of Seesaw with him. I loved the backup dancers and the choreography, the constant references to that balance and imbalance. He slid down a bench in the middle of the stage and then ran up it in the middle of the second verse! He was so engaging and you could tell he was loving the attention from the crowd. During the last chorus, he pointed the mic at us and let us sing. You could see the smile on his face grow as he heard us, and he looked out as he sang, trying to make eye contact with every section.

I’m so in love with both this song and Min Yoongi. Nicole can attest to the fact that I’ve spent the last day in complete awe that he was right in front of me. I see so much of myself in him; to see his gummy smile beam from right there at us was the best damn thing I could have ever asked for.

Love you, Yoongs. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

Epiphany

Nothing I produce from my mere mortal fingers on a keyboard can accurately describe the impact of hearing Seokjin perform Epiphany. It was the most emotional performance of the night second only to The Truth Untold, which was performed literally directly after Epiphany.

When we realized Epiphany was next, we began chanting Jin’s name. I will never forget the sound of tens of thousands chanting “KIM SEOKJIN! KIM SEOKJIN!” and cheering when that single spotlight shone on him sitting at the piano. We did that for no other member, and I was so proud and happy to see the love and support that we showed Jin last night. You could hear the audience quietly singing along, and the sheer amount of power in everyone raising their voices to sing “I’m the one I should love in this world” as one driving force is something I will never forget. There were two moments when Jin looked directly into the camera, and it felt like time stopped. What felt like minutes at the show, as I’m rewatching the videos, was only seconds… It’s so hard to believe. The screams and cheers for him echoed throughout the whole arena… We yelled like that for no one else. It made me so, so joyful.

Although it didn’t show much in his face at first, his body language and the immense amount of effort he put into his performance said it all. Jin went hard. I’ve never seen him go that hard, ever. He put so much passion into his singing and he made it clear how he feels… Epiphany was one of the most moving performances of the entire show. I’ll never forget him nor the sheer beauty of it all.

Towards the end of Epiphany, Jin walked up on the main stage and turned his back to us, his profile completely illuminated by white light. We chanted his name again and when he hit those high notes, we fucking hollered. Kim Seokjin deserved every single bit of the cheers we gave him last night, ten times over.

Thank you, Jin. I love you.

The Truth Untold

As the final notes of Epiphany finished, the rest of the vocal line joined Seokjin on the raised platform to sing The Truth Untold. It was at this point in the show that I almost started crying for the fourth time, and I’m pretty sure the boys may have been crying too. You could see them looking out at us, taking it all in, listening to our screams that died into us singing along with them. Each of the four screens onstage showed a different member, and watching all four of them react at the same time made my eyes well up. I have chills every time I hear “but I still want you…” as we sang it along with them.

Seokjin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are so, so fucking talented. They work so hard and they made last night’s performance of The Truth Untold something truly special. I will never hear the song the same way again, with thousands of voices singing the same line:

“...but I still want you…”

Outro: Tear

I had fucking whiplash from how fast these boys turned from soft, sentimental, and heartfelt vocals to hard-ass aggressive rap with a bite. Outro: Tear was wild. To sum it up according to Nicole, “It was the littest moment of my life.”

The entire stage and all of our ARMY bombs were lit neon green, plus fire shot up from the main stage during the chorus. I’m not gonna lie when I say Yoongi’s live verse of Tear was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed, especially him singing/chanting those lower parts. Everyone was so hyped for the rap line; there was never a better day to be a rap line hoe. We screamed along with them as they belted out the chorus, especially the lower parts I mentioned before. Hoseok went hard; hell every member did. Namjoon in those shades wrecked my bias like none other.

You can listen to Outro: Tear and hear the power and emotion the rap line sinks into this song, but nothing will ever compare to seeing them take the stage and perform it. They’re in their element when they’re performing Tear; it was unlike any other performance during the night. It was raw, unbridled energy and release.

It was a good day to be a rap line hoe, y’all.

Mic Drop

Mic Drop. Mic Drop.

Mic Drop. That is all.

This song was my favorite group performance of the entire show. It was their last before the intermission, and I wish I’d recorded it because holy shit this performance blew the music video version out of the fucking water.

They performed the original Mic Drop with about a thirty second dance break towards the end, and I'll have you know that said dance break left me in a smoldering pile of ash because seeing seven guys at the forefront of a huge group of backup dancers all body rolling as one whole was hot as hell.

What was awesome was seeing how the crowd reacted to Mic Drop, and I think it was definitely the loudest performance of the night. We fed off of each other’s energy; the crowd was electrified and so were the boys. Our ARMY bombs lit up bright red and it was really a sight to see all around. I’ve never felt more in tune with an audience and a song; to hear everyone around me screaming the backing vocals and doing Seokjin’s little arm wave when he’s in the front during the choreography with tens of thousands of people was something else. It was the most explosive way to end the first part of the show, and certainly the most impressive.

I didn’t listen to Mic Drop regularly for most of this year, but I did when I first started listening to BTS, and I fell in love with Steve Aoki’s remix all over again when it came out on LY: Answer. Between that and their live performance, I’ll have Mic Drop on repeat for god knows how many years now.

Intermission

So What

I didn’t listen to So What actually until the Love Yourself World Tour started and I saw a video of Jungkook doing the chute dance down the middle of the stage. I was having really bad anxiety at the time, and that video was the only thing to make me laugh that night. Ever since I’ve seen the various clips of him doing the dance, it’s made me think of the song completely differently, and last night was no exception.

It was so much fun to see every member completely bopping to So What. The boys were all running around the stage hyping us up, and that first drop was completely unforgettable. White confetti exploded from the stage and rained down on the crowd. It was so much fun, and you could tell that they were also enjoying themselves to no end. It was us and them and singing and dancing simply for the love of music and being together… It was one of my favorite moments from the night, especially seeing Jungkook go insane. I love his headass so much.

Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook did the chute dance right down from the main stage to the diamond, and I have never loved any of them more than I did in that moment. To see Namjoon rapping behind them (looking mildly disappointed) and Jin/Jimin/Jungkook laughing and having the time of their lives was one thing I’ll never forget. Plus, Taehyung and Seokjin flirting with each other and the camera was so damn adorable. So What has such a larger meaning for me now that I’ve seen it live; it has concert vibes written all over it and I'll always remember hearing Jimin and Jungkook’s higher vocals cut through near the end of the song. So What holds so much excitement for me now, and I really hope they do it at every concert in the future, because it was truly unforgettable.

Anpanman

The live performance of Anpanman was fucking incredible.

I actually am not a huge fan of the song; I don’t like the opening line and as a result I’ve never been able to enjoy listening to the full thing. However, the live version changed my mind. The boys practically exploded with excitement when it came on, and the crowd got so hyped. I loved the cartoons that displayed on the screens during the performance, and how excited Yoongi and Hoseok got rapping this song. I loved how the audience screamed along with “super car like Batman!”and “ballin’, ballin’, still Bangtan!”. Jimin in particular looked so happy singing this song. Also, I may or may not have yelled “YOU ARE” when Yoongi rapped “I can be your hero!”

Taehyung and Jungkook hugging while singing “waiting for you Anpanman” was so fucking cute. There are so many good memories and vibes associated with Anpanman now; this is another song that has a whole different meaning for me after seeing it live, and I’ll always remember how happy it made them- and us.

Answer: Love Myself and Goodbyes

Before they sang Answer: Love Myself, the boys said their goodbyes, and their ending speeches were so touching. They had a translator on hand when the boys switched to Korean, and Jin in particular said he never wanted to get rid of the feeling he had at that moment, it was just so good. Jungkook talked about how we are his energy and no matter how many shows they do, we always make him so happy. I realized during the ending speeches just how much love BTS has for us. They love us more than anything, they really do. You see it in their eyes when they look out at the crowd, trying to make eye contact with as many people as possible to take it all in. I looked at Jimin and Namjoon, who faced my section as they were saying their goodbyes, and it was unreal to see two men I hold in the highest esteem possible looking back up at me. We are so privileged to have each other, and they deserve all of the love in the world.

I will never, ever forget hearing an arena of thousands sing “You show me I have reasons I should love myself” collectively as one. You could see it written all over the boys’ faces just how much they were affected. Most importantly, last night I saw an emotion that I didn’t see much in their previous world tour clips (before LY), but was prominent in every performance of the show.

Happiness.

These boys are happy. So, so happy. They’re learning to love themselves, and they’re proud of us for doing the same.

They didn’t want to get off stage last night, lingering as long as possible to say goodbye. Taehyung and Jungkook were the most reluctant to go, Taehyung being the last one off stage, and Jungkook taking one last look into the camera, winking, and dumping his entire bottle of Fuji water all over his head before dashing into the wings.

After the show ended and the lights came back on, I sat on the upper level with my head in my hands just staring at the stage. An ARMY below me took one look as she was leaving and said “Just so you know, you’re my entire mood right now.”

I replied, “What am I going to do with my life?”

She shrugged and said “Wait until their next world tour.”

I have on video that as Jungkook was saying his goodbyes, he said he’d see us back here next year.

Hey, Jeon?

I’m holding you to that.

#bts #bangtan boys #bangtan #lya:world tour #bts world tour #bts on tour #newark #bts in newark #writtenthanerased #love yourself world tour #love yourself #this was about 5k words longer than i meant it to be but you know what #it was worth it #i've never written 7k in one day before wow

[kyunnwon]

The story of how I ult-bias a whole group of seven men.

(”keep reading” format because I describe why I bias all 7 in like 12 paragraphs and it’s long as fuck)

Before I truly got into Monsta X (music videos and “funny moments” videos were all I watched), I had chosen Jooheon as my bias. I thought he stood out the most to me. I loved his face, his dimples and chubby cheeks. I loved how energetic and bad-ass he was in music videos, I loved his intimidating stage presence that completely contrasts from his charming and adorable personality. I didn’t often pay as much attention to the other members than I did him. (There was even a point at which I was calling Kihyun and Minhyuk by each-other’s names)

Then fell deeper and started watching all of their dance practices, even all of their “focus cam” ones. By then I was able to learn all of their names and was fully stanning. I watched all of Right Now and X-Ray, watched live performances constantly. Listened to almost every song they’ve made, including covers. In the midst of all this, I began noticing just how incredible all of them were. 

(I watched No Mercy and DeokspatchX recently too. I knew it was out of order but I had been avoiding No Mercy like the plague because I didn’t want to see them treat eachother badly lol. But it was a good decision because it helped me understand how they got to where they are today.)

After finally realizing how amazing each of them were (mind you this was a good month ago), I dropped solo biasing Jooheon and began to love all of them equally. 

Jooheon still for those previously listed qualities, but now also because of his immense talent and emotion. How dedicated he is, how much he puts into dance and rap. He’s not a born dancer but he’s for sure what one would call a choreography king, where his movements aren’t that of a natural dancer but are of one who puts their all into what they’ve learned and turns it into art. Not to mention his singing, oh my god when he sings. He’s literally the whole package of talent from rap, to vocals, to dance, to lyrics (and visuals!!!!). He was always a prodigy and would still be widely known even if he wasn’t in Monsta X.  Also; how skittish he is, it’s so precious!

Kihyun, because I fell in love with his voice before I even knew who he was. I remember watching a clip in a kpop vines video of Kihyun singing during their first comeback VLive. It literally gave me goosebumps and I needed to hear more, you can’t believe how beside myself with joy I was when I found out who it was and the song he was singing. His strong voice that shakes me to my bones, during his first No Mercy performance, I was brought to tears and near sobbing because of how beautifully he sang. His confidence is incredible and how surprisingly sexy he can be despite his cute appearance. His sharp features and an infectious laugh that brings out his uniquely placed dimples on the apples of his cheeks. How he really is naggy and seems picky, it’s funny how everyone picks on him for it, he really is like a mom figure. How he’s basically the shortest but makes up for it in desirable presence.

Wonho, because of his amazing duality. How he appears as manly and ridiculously sexy but in reality, he’s a soft goofy boy that’s scared of more things than you’d expect. His dopey laugh+wide smile is my favorite, and his adorably large ears. His voice is nice too, it’s unique, sounds like he’s always singing in head-voice no matter the note he’s hitting. How well he dances with his large stature. How he bullies everyone and acts cute. How he’s just a buff baby boy that needs protection, love, and attention. How much he cares for his band mates and it shows when he talks about them, like when he accepted Kihyun into his and Minhyuk’s unit because the other 2 units (Jooheon/Shownu, Hyungwon/I.M) turned Kihyun down and he didn’t want to be alone. Wonho adjusted the performance to allow a 3rd. And a certain segment during No Mercy, where he talks about him and his mom living in such a small place, how it brought him to tears talking about how much he wants to support his family. Despite his tough look, he’s a sensitive angel.

I.M. because of his attitude. He’s cool, but he’s also silly and loud, I love how he just yells a lot. His wonderfully (and sinfully) deep voice when he speaks, how it turns an octave lower when he speaks in English. His cat-like eyes, acne scars, and sharp lips that make his face so easily distinguishable. I also love that he has a couple tattoos, like the cute tiny little “ : ( : “ on his hand. The way he raps too, much more tame than Jooheon’s, but that’s the good part. It’s always chill no matter how fast he raps or how hype the song he is. How he’s a talented dancer and puts so much effort into his movements, and although not seemingly a born-dancer, he’s definitely a choreography-king as well. Also how he’s almost always shoving food into one of his bandmates’ mouths.

Minhyuk, he is truly something else. His bubbly, sassy personality. How affectionate he is with everyone, how much he loves and his wonderful bright smile. His deep voice when he speaks with that hint of rasp in it, it’s so lovely. And when he sings, he sounds so amazingly sweet and soft. But also his overflowing amounts of feminine charm, how he just gives you the feeling that the word “sexy” was entirely created for him to own, how his existence just screams dominance and begs for everyone’s attention. 

Shownu, because cuddly bear <3 He’s just so lovely. How he seems aloof and emotionless but really is just a big ol’ goofball. How he really does give off dad vibes, how he seems like a manly guy, which he is, but he’s also truly sweet and cute. It’s also great when he bullies his members because it shows how he can be child-like too. And god, his honey-like voice when he sings, his first performance during No Mercy was incredible, it had me fully respecting him as a vocalist. How he’s so very clearly a born-dancer and can make any choreography his. Another one that screams sexy and tough but is really sensitive and adorable

Last but definitely nowhere near least, Hyungwon. I feel like I shouldn’t even start because I might not stop. Honestly if I could actually choose a bias in MX again it would 100% be Hyungwon. But we all know how that would go. He’s just so beautiful, like the epitome of pretty. His beautiful full lips, cute cheeks and puffy eyes. Just a whole cute face in general and it’s even better when he smiles, he’s got such a contagious smile my heart flutters. How he also in a way seems like a cat, how he’s kind of shameless but also not and just does what he wants. His tall, lanky build and how his visuals always give off this ethereal vibe, how he’s obviously another born-dancer, not as explicitly as Shownu, yet everything just seems to come natural to him like his build lets his moves come out more smoothly. His voice is beautiful too, so soft and pretty like him, and the way he sings is so nice to watch, during their live performance of Myself on their 2nd Comeback VLive I couldn’t keep my eyes off him any time he was visible. Everything about him screams sultry and dominance when he’s performing, a presence that makes you weak in the knees, but on the inside he’s just a sleepy kitten that memes way too much.

Basically, all of them with everything they do are constantly bias wrecking me even though I bias all of them. I couldn’t even describe everything I want to because it’s all just a jumble of adoration in my brain and I can barely understand any of it. It’s a never ending cycle and I’ll tell you it’s also exhausting constantly being attacked by their existences. All 7 of them and their music truly makes me happy, they’re a group with over-flowing talent, charm, and beauty. I’m glad I caught them on just their 3rd year of being a group because that means there will more-than-likely be many more albums and comebacks to witness as a Monbebe. 

#Monsta X #personal sorta but you can interact anyway #i love my boys honestly who's with me

[laceyeb]

DWTS Athletes Finale Recap

This is sooooo long. Sorry about that.

OMG YOU GUYS I’M STRESSED.

This is going to be my recap tonight which will just be like a horrifying mess of my thought process throughout the hour. Hopefully I don’t accidentally send this to my mother because I might use a lot of bad words…

It’s currently 5:27 PM out here in California and I am STRESSED.

I’m keeping up with the scores and I’m ready to do the live voting when it’s time, but then I’m out. I’ll head to the gym and somehow try to distract myself there. It’s not going to work, but we’ll see.

My feelings regarding the as of now unknown final results (I’m going into this, hopefully not too naively, assuming that Tonya’s third.):

Look. I understand where people are coming from when they say that it’s not just about the pro. It’s supposed to actually be more about the star, and also about their partnership and journey and skills and blah blah blah. I understand that. I 100% do. I promise. However, that does not mean I won’t be a hypocrite (without any hesitation whatsoever) and say I JUST WANT SHARNA TO WIN THE FUCKING TROPHY!!! (Also, is that super ugly trophy we saw like actually it??? How come the mirrorball on top looks like a miniature mirrorball?! I get that it’s a mini season, but spring for the real mirrorball you cheapskates.) If Jenna and Adam win (and I’m just trying to go into it assuming they are so I’m not as disappointed), I will be thrilled for them. They absolutely deserve it and I don’t think I could possibly argue that they don’t, though that might not stop me from trying. I love them both. I’ve always loved Jenna and I have so much love for Adam it’s not even funny. BUT if they win I’m going to be simultaneously thrilled for them and really really really sad for Josh and Sharna. (EDIT: I’m not that sad actually!) By the way, I love Josh, too! I’m not just in this partnership for Sharna! He’s been great this season and he has shown that he can both dance technically and perform (and we didn’t have to expect him to be as good as he is, whereas obviously Adam was going to be good). But again, I’m a hypocrite. I’m in it more for Sharna than I am Josh, but not only for Sharna. You feel me?!

So… Long story short: I WANT JOSH AND SHARNA TO WIN

And also like I’m gonna get over it if Josh and Sharna don’t win. I’ll be okay, just in case you’re concerned about my well-being. (I’m kidding. Mostly.) Like I survived James and Sharna not winning, so I’ll survive this. The sun will still come out tomorrow (maybe not for me though because I live in the Pacific Northwest) and life will go on. I get that. Don’t worry.

Ok. It’s 5:43 now and I feel like I’m gonna puke. I’m not gonna make it all the way to 9. I just won’t.

Random: I’m gonna be a little teeny tiny bit salty that Adam and Jenna have freestyle AND jazz. Just a little salty. Like the super fine salt I put on my popcorn. Just a little because I know that it doesn’t really make a difference. Not really. And as much as I do love Adam and Jenna, I’m about to contradict that when I tell you how loud I screamed when I saw they got 9,9,10 for their freestyle. I think I scared my neighbors cat who’s outside eating dinner right now. I didn’t stick around long enough to see anyone’s reactions to their freestyle (on tumblr, I mean) because I was too busy voting and then I had to get the hell out of there before I saw any results. So I’m curious where those 9s came from?!?!?!

The message I just sent to my mom: “The problem is that I know Adam and Jenna deserve it. But I want Josh and Sharna to win!!!” She says: “Yup”

Ok. It’s 6:00 so a whole bunch of you are currently partying like it’s 1999 and I’m off to distract myself at the gym…

It’s really stressing me out knowing that it’s already happened and I don’t know! Even though I avoid spoilers all the time. Then again, I looked at the results ahead of time for the last two seasons so maybe that’s it. Also why I didn’t watch the last two finales.

Ok. It’s 6:12 and NOW I’m leaving for the gym. If I leave the gym at 7:20, that’ll get me home 7:30 (probably 7:25, but I like a little cushion), in and out of the shower by 7:45, and sitting on my couch with popcorn and hot chocolate by 7:55. Let’s go!

I managed 50 minutes on the treadmill and I was sufficiently distracted by this really good book I’m reading. (Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley) Now it’s 7:41 and I’m showered and ready to make my popcorn at 7:50… Are you bored of my recap yet?! We’re getting to the good stuff soon!!!

HERE WE GO!!!

I saw Tom on someone’s instagram today (maybe Keo’s) and he was like, “Finale?! That can’t be possible! It’s only week 4!” Same… That’s another thing I keep reminding myself about Josh and Sharna. He’s very very good and it’s only week 4. Imagine what they could have done together in 10 weeks!

I understand we’ve only got an hour, but couldn’t they introduce the finalists with a little more enthusiasm…?

I want to just ignore Tonya and Sasha, but I’ll watch since at least I won’t have to do it again. I wonder if Sasha really believes everything he has been saying this season? Obviously he’s not going to say anything bad about her, but I wonder how much he really believes it, you know? I mean, she seems to be a perfectly pleasant person on the show if I didn’t know any better. She’s definitely a good dancer and I could really appreciate that if she was, you know, not her. If I didn’t have to spend every week hearing how I am falling in love with her and giving her a second chance. I liked the dance just fine. It was pretty enough. Still choosing to assume she’s third?! Actually, my mom looked at the results ahead (she always does unless I’m watching with her and make her wait with me!) and said they don’t announce second and third, but just first?

Bruno saying we got robbed of a Josh and Sharna Argentine tango YESSSS. COULD YOU IMAGINE?! It’s the finale and his first time doing ballroom?! Stupid. Idiotic four week season. I thought the dance was perfectly beautiful. He looked just a little like heavy on his feet? I don’t know. I’m no expert. But I also don’t really care at this point. It’s all over anyways. We got so deprived not having him on a 10 week season. He could have kept getting better and better every single week and him and Sharna clearly have a great relationship and partnership we have not had a chance to enjoy! (I got all hot and bothered at the start of their dance thinking about the way James and Sharna started their fusion dance holding hands. Sigh.) I spy Chris behind Erin! Hi Chris. I’ve missed your beautiful face since last week. Why is Sharna flipping the fuck out like their 9s are 12s?!

Adam and Jenna genuinely have one of the best (and one of my favorite!) partnerships I’ve ever seen on this show in 26 long seasons. I’m truly obsessed with how much they love each other. (I see Anna Trebunskaya behind the judges! Long time no see!) That dance was so fantastically creative of course. It was fantastic and fun and technically beautiful and all that good stuff. I personally thought the lip syncing was irritating, but I know that was part of it so I’ll let it slide. I would have liked some time to know exactly how these dances represented their journeys on the show. Particularly this one. Well shit. They love each other soooo much. Now I want them to win, too! If they do win, the strength and just pure beauty of their bond will make it worth it for me.

I thought I would like a short finale since there’s usually so much nonsense in those 2 hour finales, but this is TOO DAMN FAST! We’re halfway done already!

I cringe everytime Sasha and Tonya say that America has got them to where they are. Because is that really even true?! Obviously she’s been getting some votes since she’s here. I don’t pay that close attention to comments online, but even I know there’s 47 negative comments for every one positive one. Ok. So I’m a little like disoriented because honestly…? I think I kind of liked that?!?!?! I’m pretty sure there was a little section where she went out of sync near the end with her hands. (Carrie Ann! Go put your ass back in your chair!) I figured they would have gone for something dramatic and emotional and I appreciate they didn’t. Honestly, it really worked for her! It was a celebration of her (not that she deserves to be celebrated), which is what the freestyle is supposed to be… I definitely don’t like her (or Sasha) anymore than I did 32 minutes ago. But I didn’t hate that dance.

Um…. Hi Sharna?! Which one of them am I supposed to look at dressed like that in this dance?! Him throwing her over his shoulder and running out of the studio in their package was epic. I have so much to say and not enough time to say it! That was sooooo perfect for them!!! Sharna is absolutely brilliant. And you know what? Sharna comes out looking like that, but I NEVER took my eyes off Josh. (YES CARRIE ANN PRAISING SHARNA! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR CHAIR AND HUG SHARNA IF YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH!) (Wait why is Artem coming?! Now I know! OMG!) Ok. Back to the dance. Spectacularly creative and brilliant and so powerfully executed. Highlighted and represented Josh soooo well and the all the troupe and others added to the dance and didn’t pull away the attention from Josh. And as emotionally attached to James and Sharna and some of the dances they did together (like their fusion I’ve now mentioned twice tonight, but I’ve moved on…), I think I agree with Carrie Ann! That might be the most incredible and creative choreography we’ve seen from Sharna to date! That was just everything I wanted and more. It wasn’t emotional and heart-wrenching like James’ freestyle. It was strong and powerful and impactful like Josh. Just perfect for him. Sharna did him justice for sure. (My mom on this dance: “Wow!! But she needs to stay out of my closet!) OOH! I knew there was something else! When he lifted her above his head and then threw her higher and DROPPED HIS ARMS before reaching up to catch her?!?!?! That almost killed me. She has so much trust in him. I’m in love.

Briefly on Adam and Jenna’s freestyle because it’s 8:52 and my fingers are shaking as I try to type: 1) The fuck did I just watch?! 2) There wasn’t like… dancing? I mean, it’s a freestyle they can do whatever they want. But I didn’t see dancing? 3) I think this freestyle is a little ahead of its time. Like when Erin and Maks did the very first contemporary freestyle way back in season 10 and the judges didn’t really know what to do with it. That’s how I kind of feel about this. Like I don’t really know what to do with this. 4) I appreciate that he wanted something he felt was meaningful and represented him and obviously I’m not him so I don’t know… But like if you had given me a million guesses on what their freestyle would be like knowing that it represented him, I never would have got to this. It was a let down for me.

I had to go to the bathroom during the commercial so I didn’t wet myself waiting the last six minutes…

I DON’T WANT TO SEE A LAST DANCE FROM ALL OUR COUPLES!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHO WINS!!!

Oh dear. I think I’ve stopped breathing. Here we go. If they really are just announcing 1st and don’t announce 3rd, I might pass out.

Here it comes. It’s happening…

Well…. I knew that was coming. It’s a good thing I was such a big fan of them. Honestly, I’m not even that disappointed for Josh and Sharna. I thought I would be, but I’m really not. I mean, yes… Here’s yet another season of Sharna getting second place. But as a couple/partnership/duo/whatever, I did like Adam and Jenna more than Josh and Sharna. I really felt Adam and Jenna’s relationship tonight (and every night obviously) especially in their first dance and after it. And Jenna absolutely lost her shit. I’m so so so happy for her. And Adam. And her and Adam together. And only a little sad for Sharna. Not nearly as sad as I thought I would be. Maybe I’m growing…?!

It’s now 9:28 and I’m just sitting here on my couch and I keep smiling and saying, “Oh, I’m just really happy for them!”

I think I would have been considerably more inconsolable if Josh and Sharna had actually won. 

#dwts athletes #dwtsathletesrecap