#he just think old guys are hot

[musclesandhammering]

You can have all the headcanons you want but there’s nothing you can say or do to convince me that Loki’s biggest turn on isn’t older men.

#and not even necessarily in a daddy kink way #he just think old guys are hot #like he’s it’s 100% bc of his daddy issues I get that #but also he just likes the look and the attitude and the vibe #Loki’s one of those people who like 87% of his exes are twice his age #figuratively I mean #because he dates all across the species spectrum #so the ages aren’t really scaled the same #but you know what I mean #like a 65 year old human would be considered twice his age in relative terms #yea #anyway #loki #loki headcanon #frosty bby #gonna go ahead and tag this as #lokius #and #frostmaster

[compacflt]

So Miles is pitching for a Top Gun: Rooster and I dont think we need a sequel tbh but if we do get a sequel to TGM what would do you think it would look like/you want it to be like?

i don’t care. the storys over.

Let’s do an indy 5/cars 3 situation (gotta keep the IP alive) where mav is in an old persons home with dementia and multiple replaced joints and divorced but somehow the navy still needs him and just him to train the new 20 year old female protégé (maybe amelia for tie-in bonus?) after rooster volunteered to fight in ukraine in 2022 and got shot down and killed a week into the war… And somehow it’s maverick and only maverick who gets behind the yoke to save the day (OMG Tom cruise wins against all odds again)

fun for the whole family and it makes a lot of money 🥳🤑

#how cynical can we make our cash grabs #more or less cynical than tgm already is? #some days i remain unconvinced by tgm #not to be the jaded 20 year old convinced it’s so over all the time #story’s been over since 1986 #this is a hot take i think but mav’s character did not develop at ALL in tgm. he just atoned for past mistakes which is NOT the same as dev #his arc is OVER! #send the dead horse to the glue factory it’s nothing but pulp #(common compacflt hypocrisy) (i also can’t stop writing about these guys) #parroting marisatomay’s assertion that miles teller is a good actor but he does not have movie star juice. he is not gonna get my butt #in the seat for top gun 3 unfortunately. only the airplanes will do that. #top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #bradley rooster bradshaw

[johnconstantinesdick]

I’m thinking about my Big Three kid swap au (Nico is the prophecy child, Percy is a willow tree, and Thalia is caught in the Lotus Casino) again and specifically Percy is so funny to me. Turns into a tree when he has a found family daughter and almost-boyfriend and wakes up as a a single mother divorcee.

Percy is consistently bringing unhinged domestic spat energy to every confrontation. It’s a full on soap opera. The gods love it. Luke’s troops keep losing respect for him.

Percy kept aging while he was a tree (since we can’t have him join the Hunt) and everyone agrees he’s not the Prophecy Child because he’s fully twenty-something already. So he has no other obligations except conspiring with Annabeth to drag Luke kicking and screaming back home.

Percy keeps referring obliquely to “the divorce” which is very funny but confuses everyone around him. Multiple times he distracts monsters or Titan army demigods by complaining about his “failing marriage” and how “taking care of a kid alone is so hard, you know? I’m not even getting child support!”. Everyone comes out of the conversation sympathetic to the poor guy. Every once in a while Percy adds new lore to see the way Luke’s eye twitches. Luke is not coping well with the judgmental looks, side-eyes, and earnest advice about how to save a marriage. Annabeth keeps getting kidnapped by Luke’s cronies because they very earnestly believe she should get to spend some more time with her other dad.

Every Saturday there’s a truce where all three of them tensely eat cookies in Sally Jackson’s living room. No one has the guts to tell her they’re on opposite sides of a war. Luke tries to turn the tables one (1) time and ask her how she would feel about Percy getting married. Sally’s answer is so heartfelt and genuinely happy that Luke cries alone in his golden sarcophagus later and he never brings it up again. Percy’s smug look goes entirely unnoticed except by Annabeth.

#Percy just likes to eat hot (blue) chip and lie. like any good bisexual. #he’s running the camps propaganda effort all on his own. no one else appreciates it. it’s all ‘why are you fraternizing with the enemy’ and #‘stop telling people you’re married’ and ‘are you trying to babytrap a guy in his twenties with your thirteen year old friend as the baby’ #this man’s fatal flaw is loyalty. as long as there’s a slight chance that Luke might come home Percy is going to keep fighting like hell. #combined with Annabeth’s fatal flaw being pride? the two of them are absolutely assured of their plans. nothing can go wrong. #in the end. well. Nico has ghost powers. banishing a titan from someone’s body is basically an exorcism. #also Percy has successfully gaslit Hermes into thinking he gave his blessing for the marriage so when he drags Luke back to camp after the #war that’s BASICALLY a bridal kidnapping. he’s just connecting with his Greek roots! #pjo #riordanverse #eli writes #eli rambles

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Okay Girlies I need you all to answer this one question for me. I haven't played through Karamelle or Novus yet and I've only seen and heard snippets of Dasein so I don't know all that much ahout him. Reblog/tag why y'all want to fuck him- I mean marry him (or just something you really like about him)

#guys im sorry he sounds too much like someones grandfather he's so goofy /lh #i love him he's dear to my heart but more akin to a weirdly shaped cheeto you find in a bag. quirky and amusing #NOT ME THINKING ABOUT OMNIMAN'S “shes more of like a- a uh pet to me!” #THIS ISNT ME JUDGING BTW THERE IS NO JUDGEMENTAL TONE IN THIS POST #im just actually intrigued bc i wanna know more about dasein and why he's so hot to people #im probs gonna make a post about what i love most about him before and after i play through novus to compare my opinions #thats the ONLY reason why i dont talk about dasein enough bc i know next to shit about him HEKSJAKSHE #i like all the science and philosphy thay surrounds his lore and character personally #like from the scenes that ive seen him in you judt learn so much about him and the world around him through his eyes #so far it seems like he's a character that immerses you in the story extremely well. idk how to explain it its like he lives and breathes it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #dasein #text posts #this post is actually so goofy because here i am like “why do you guys want to tap an old man”- #-and literally my last post was “why is the sea monster so fucking hot” JSKSMSJSJAK

[pepperpixel]

Me @ hassel: baby u r my.. ANGELLLLL!!!!!

But anyway… yeah… I love him, have some art of him…

#pokemon #elite four hassel #hassel #elite 4 hassel #doodles #been wanting to draw this guy for a WEEK #finally… finally I’ve expressed my love for him in art.. thank god. I was about to explode #I just!!! I love him!!!! #I haven’t even beat the fuckin game yet I just. had to draw him #also I kno his hand in the second pic is kinda. too big. I don’t care tho ghghg #just pretend it isn’t ghghg #originally the lil caption under the chibi Hassel was gonna be: #Hassel reaction to my telling him how hot I think he is #but… I decided against that gGHG- #it was between those two ghgh. #but yeah.. idk!!! idk!!!! I just!!! ghghg Pokémon old men DO something to me idk what to say… #and he’s so cUTE!!!!! #ghghg I’m just. I’m living my truth I love Hassel #pokemon scarvio #pokemon scarlet and violet

[dustteller]

I think modern au Zhu SHOULD be the lesbian best friend trope to Ouyang except that its because this man is her pet project and gODDDAMIT she's gonna FIX him she's gonna MAKE him be BETTER she's going to SOLVE EVERYTHING and he will RESPECT HER (she is actively making him worse). She has a whole complex about it and everything. She has based a part of her identity on dragging this man up from his toxic funk and is fully convinced that if she tries hard enough he will eventually come to his senses and be an equal participant in this relationship. They have a terrible wonderful toxic loving codependent relationship that's neither a romance nor a friendship nor a rivalry but a secret fourth thing.

Predictably, this does not go well. The character arcs would be Zhu learning she can't fix a sinking ship and letting Ouyang fail by himself, and Ouyang learning to not be a shit person, actually, and coming out of his bubble of self-centeredness and working on himself instead of unloading his emotional labor onto the people around him. And they should both get to develop a healthier relationship with each other than what they had in canon bc queer solidarity is great and its even better when it's in the shape of some weird bullshit some gay people built out of the corpse parts of heteronormative romance (affectionate and completely unironic)

#brought to you by me thinking about the last half of HWDtW and how Zhu interacts with Ouyang post-betrayal #well. interacts with the concept of Ouyang. he kinda (spoilers). #she was unhealthily attached to Ouyang and honestly I think she deserves an universe where her whole deal is reciprocated. #but only AFTER i put them in a fully self sustaining terrarium jar and sic the emotional isopods on them. #that part comes first bc my personal entertainment is CLEARLY the most important thing here guys #the radiant emperor #my thoughts #zhu yuanzhang #OHHH AND ALSO i think Zhu and Ouyang should get to have their weird little gay relationship #while their partners stare in accepting horror. #ma would be supportive bc she knows how important this impressively awful man is to her girlfriend #but rest assured she DOES NOT like him. she will (very politely) bitch about him to Baoxiang and then feel bad about it #she shouldn't feel bad tho bc Ouyang deserves it and Baoxiang repeatedly reminds her of this fact #eventually ouyang grows on her. #kinda like the bowl of mold in the back of the fridge you've developed an emotional attachment to. #he shouldn't be there but now she feels bad about evicting him into the trash! #(she feels significantly less bad about evicting him into Esen's appartment) #Esen has even less of a clue what's happening with Zhu and Ouyang. #he just knows that Zhu is important to Ouyang and also is 90% sure that they fucked at some point. #30% sure that they are still fucking but he grew up around Baoxiang and Ouyang #he has learned Not to Ask! he does Not Want to Know! #and anyways it's none of his bussiness who his bestie/person that he wants to adopt a horse and grow old with/hot roomate is fucking! #its not his problem! he is not invested! he is not going to think about it! there is no reason to think about whos in Ouyang's pants! #he is not thinking about anything involving Ouyang's pants at all! much less about the inside of Ouyang's pants! #and since hes not thinking about it bc theres no reason to think about it then he cant have a problem with it :) #so he wont ask!

[tomurakii]

This may get me legit doxxed but I cannot believe Astarion is the fan favourite bg3 companion. The racist??? The racist old man who frequently and explicitly confirms that he is racist and will continue to be racist?? And it isn't even like. Goblin racism or something like Wyll where it's because they're "evil". He's racist against indigenous people and dehumanises short people. Which are also actual real human groups. And he explicitly refuses to change that behaviour.

#like a lot of characters express ignorance. but Astarion is like the only one who straight up goes “gur and gnomes are less than human” #he hates indigenous people because he had one bad experience with one group of them #thats like. literally the exact same thing my stepfather says to justify hating aboriginal australians. hes a gross old man #I just cannot believe it. especially here on tumblr #where the general consensus is that racism and bigotry is bad and inexcusable. but for this one guy it's fine?? because u think hes hot #this is radicalising me into an astarion hater because I cannot deal with you people. this is not like. “realistic victim rep” #victims can be mad and jaded and not be SUPER RACIST ABOUT IT #bg3

[mrstsung]

y'all would give up and pass on shang tsung

Shang tsung

He's loaded and you'd never have to worry bout nothing monetary for the rest of your life

He's handsome af and he's even cute as old man shang

He's a powerful af sorcerer

Anyone who dares hurt you will have their souls taken and "ripped a new one" nobody hurts his beloved

He's cunning,scary intelligent,and always has his composer even when shit is fucked. Even when he has some doubts and worries he always holds his head high. This is a man who oozes confidence and clarity.

He's fucking fashion sense is immaculate

And you're gonna tell me you're gonna pass on cary hiroyuki tagawa's shang tsung. And on cary hiroyuki tagawa in general?!

That man is handsome. That man been serving. Like bruuuuh.

Note: * Too many tags and talking in tags so i apologize. I could go on forever.*

#like coooomme ooooon! #shang tsung in mk11 was the best he's ever been #mortal kombat #shang tsung #self shipping #self ship #💚heart and soul🐍 #shang tsung mortal kombat #mk f/o #antagonist f/o #villain f/o #villain/antagonist f/o #mini vent kinda #cary hiroyuki tagawa #like y'all gonna pass up on that man!? what is wrong with y'all? are y'all blind?! #like shang tsung in mk11 is hot af #like are people that much thinking an asian male character has to look lioe a k pop star or babyfaced to be handsome af?! i don't get it #like shang tsung in mk11 in his young form is sexy #i personally love him as old man shang tsung but that's just me and that's not for everyone #but his younger rejuvenated form in mk11 that looks like the 95 movie yall really gonna pass up on that?! #foh shang tsung in mk11 is PEAK! #boss af too #god people have no taste #if you say you hate shang you a liar he's an amazing villain and antagonist #and you gotta love that charisma he has #half the people that pass on mk11 shang tsung are in denial i swear #you'll come around they always do #but in all seriousness shang tsung is an amazing character and for people to not think so is a travesty #y'all are new im sure so i plead with you plz go watch the 95 movie and cary hiroyuki tagawa's movies and interviews #you'll love this guy i guarantee it

[josephtrohman]

Folie era joe hits so different he’s so hot

i totally get you‼️ i’m sure you mean long haired folie joe and like that’s SO VALID. but because im annoying and love to share my opinion i’m going to say my personal cup of tea is specifically short hair/bearded 2009 folie era joe cuz HIIIIIIIII

#perhaps a 🚨controversial joegirl opinion🚨 #i see the appeal of longer haired joe but ive just always preferred the shorter hair on him TBQH no one be MAD AT MEEEEEE #i just don’t find longer hair on guys that hot idk sorry i’m boring like that</3 #but he is gorgeous with the longer folie hair DONT GET ME WRONGGGG like STILL A STUNNERRRR #n he will never not be<3 #anonymous #asks #something about this era HITS for me rn like i think it’s nearing that age cuz i’m going to be 24 in a few months so #i’m like 😳24 year old joe😵‍💫 #ish. he’s obviously like almost 25 and the vmas pic he Is 25 but yeah u get what i’m saying #my taste matures with me. in a sense #anyways sorry i’m rambling joe hotness/seeing these pics rn is melting my brain

[mercyking]

Sometimes...I live in a world where Gary King and Nicholas Angel are cousins.

And sometimes...SOMETIMES...Nicholas' uncle Derek is Gary's dad.

#This gets complicated if Derek is Nicholas' uncle via his father. Cuz then his last name would likely be Angel--not King #The wiki says he's Nick's dad's brother but i cant recall. and my rental of the movie ran out so :/ #I think it would be neato if for some reason or another Garys mom was like 'eh fuck this Derek guy' and gave Gary her own last name instead #all that said i have so many ideas about Gary's parents and i dont want to commit to any of them. go stupid go crazy as they say #pyra speaks #gary king #nicholas angel #Honestly imagine the drama of Nicholas being older than Gary so the whole arrest thing happened when Nick was a kiddo and thus Gary was BAB #maybe not even born yet #and then Derek gets arrested and then just fuckin yeets out of his old life #so Nicholas is Gary's older cousin who not only knew Gary's dad better than he ever got to but is also sooo ffing successful #Heehee i think that dynamic would be NUTS. heh #Saying this as if most of my thoughts for this au aren't fluff about Gary recovering and visiting his kind+supportive cousin in Sanford #twe #hot fuzz #twe au #hf au #cornetto trilogy

[nailgunstigmata]

people being like „what happened to rob omg look at how cute he was as a twink 🥺🥺🥺“ are so funny like. girl he aged

#and one day so will you and so will i. i know i dont like it either but we would be less afraid of it if we stopped treating it as awful #and saying its the plastic surgery is a cop out. if u want to say it say it with ur whole chest #like yeah steroids etc but i dont think those made his hairline regress 😭😭😭 #i think he was cuter before too but lets not pretend like a guy getting older and less hot is some rare phenomenon #this is what twink death was coined for #i cant believe im defending rob i hate it here #i love hating on rob but lets do it right #some of u people are just doing old school mysogyny on kaitlin too ill be honest. like yea shes an awful person but criticise her for that #not for surgeries she might have gotten because of the standards placed on women in media #ur doing reddit bro mysoginy pls listen to urself. call her a bad person and stupid instead

[jabberwockprince]

modern otome games dont do it for me anymore bc even though some of them let you pick pronouns/gender, theyre still heavily written for women (which is fair, its OTOME game for a reason, i stopped being their target demographic years ago) who specifically love to be dominated and/or degrated to different degrees, most of the time being seduced/whisked away lowkey against their will, which leads me to believe modern otome are the equivalent of those books for sexually repressed wives

#thinking abt the old otome i used to play #that was the wildest fucking scenarios ever #like #oh yeah youre the sultan's new adopted daughter #you can now bang his other adopted sons. who are extremely hot and into you #or hey. youre cinderella #straight up cinderella. pick a prince to marry and avoid some royal scandal and dabble in the world of politics #to avoid waging war against the other kingdoms #or hey. you had a car accident years ago and the ptsd makes you unable to sleep at night #its been like 10 years so your bestie recommends you hire a sleeping boyfriend who just helps you sleep #so its some guy counting sheep to you and finding out about your repressed trauma and coping mechanisms and helping you thru it #or hey #a star fell from the sky #thats a guy! he says hes your boyfriend! #the gods sent him to learn to be human so he doesn't become a shitty god when he grows up #OR NEKOMIMIS AVOID BEING HUNT DOWN BY POACHERS AND HIDE IN YOUR HOUSE #like theyre all wild but softer than whatever is happening nowadays #like with what in hell is bad. or obey me. or all those other specific demon otomes #like. there was one abt dating the reaper. an angel. or a demon. and in their routes theyre saving you from the other two #but you genuinely got to know them to such a personal degree it stopped being an otome at points like #what do you mean the reaper has abandoned the concept of friendship bc everything he touches dies #so hes torn between killing you to continue this cycle or saving you to prove hes more than a bringer of death #now its just #horny.... or the MC is useless.......

[kai-atlantis]

So...

Apparently I have a fucking bird now

#it's a baby starling #it's sick but it's like 4 weeks old and tbh it kinda loves me i think #like it preens in front of me and perched on my shoulder and baby squawked when I sang to it cause it still can't chirp just yet #🥹 #it's a divine gift i guess cause uh... i wanted a bird lmfao #and now i literally have one #this is my life now #hoping to make a lil fundraiser for it #it's name is Artemis #Artemis the Starling #it's sleeping in the nest i made it atm curled up to a hot water gallon lmao #i literally grow berry plants lmao so this lil birb is literally gonna have its own strawberry plant #spoiled already jeez #yes i contacted a rehabber but starlings are invasive and wont be taken in F #anyway my bff is a vet and former bird owner so her advice is great until i take this lil guy to an aviary vet #she said he looked cozy soo 😅 #I HAVE A BIRD

[chibishortdeath]

This might sound silly, but I think it's really cute/funny that Simon still gets hit on and called attractive by folks in the Town of Alba, even with the curse plaguing him.

I agree tbh lol. I’ve seen a couple translations of it that say the women are a little more uh what’s the word.. blunt in the original Japanese, fun fact! Think like the difference between someone saying “you’re cute” and “I want you” lmao. I love imagining Simon, cursed and dying, getting hit on and being all awkward about it cause he’s not used to compliments in the first place and also he knows he looks like a corpse right now 💀💀💀. It’d make for a silly cutscene or something X,,,D.

#castlevania #castlevania games #text post #ask post #Simon Belmont #Simon’s Quest #I think it’d especially be a shock from the usual lying and threats he gets oops— #bro would be so confused 💀 #there’s also that one town that just has the old lady sitting there like ‘let’s live together’ lol #Simon out here either getting told to never set foot in a town again or that he’s hot #the sheer contrast in some NPCs lol #there’s the guy who tells you to beat your head in on Deborah cliff #then the girl who just says ‘you me midnight by the river—‘ #bro is having a very interesting week ong #Simon’s Quest is one of the games ever fr

[comphetthings]

Women are just generally more attractive than men. Like, it’s just a known fact. Women are pretty and cute and sksksksk and men just... ugh. But I’m totally straight because I had a crush on Harry styles when I was nine.

#the way that my jaw absolutely dropped when my sister told me she thought men were generally more attractive than women #like she was like i see way more hot guys than i do girls #she literally told me she thinks there are more men who are attractive than women who are attractive #like i was absolutely floored #straight women really do exist out there so like please be warned yall #some of them actually think men are like hot and WANT to like... not even just kiss them but like have sex with them too #like they genuinely want it no coercion or convincing necessary #i know it sounds fake #but its real #also harry styles is such a classic to have chosen #the harry styles of my generation to have a comphet crush on at 9 years old was whichever jonas brother your friends didnt like #usually kevin but i was a joe girl because even back then i knew he was better

[martyrbat]

god i love the clayfaces, this just makes me want to do a massive reread of them all...

#and Preston being introduced and how his sanity started slipping from loneliness right after bruce and silver st. cloud broke up? #being a twisted and morphed mirror to himself—the only difference being preston is lonely and touch starved by force #instead of by choice? and that he wears his loneliness on his sleeve in such an obvious way (his literal clay face...) while bruce also #wears his in such an obvious way (bc what is the cowl but symbolism for the scared and lonely little boy bruce will always be in some way?) #chef's kiss #and basil karlo was hot. i think in a better weirder timeline he and alfred fuck nasty. maybe they still do. #(<- in a more real analysis thing i think he can be an interesting insight on pop culture as a whole and the obsession for internal beauty #since he was denied his role because he was too old/using the putty to morph his face and fit the ever changing demands of hollywood #can be an eery similarity to the consistency of plastic surgery and dangerous cosmetic surgeries (like cryolipolysis) #if you're known for your youth and beauty—what happens when it goes away? who are you afterwards? what desperation do you have to keep it?) #also the 2nd clayface was a thing. we dont speak much of him hes just some guy named matt.