#he kissed me in that closet 27 years ago and I was scared out of my mind and I don't know something from dad's hunting arsenal fell from

[angeltiddies]

13 going on 30 deancas au

#dean wakes up he's a big hockey star #or maybe it's cas who wakes up and he's a big author or designer #and yeah he's about to get married the whole nine yards and it's to a lady and then it's like wait no I'm in love with my best friend and #he kissed me in that closet 27 years ago and I was scared out of my mind and I don't know something from dad's hunting arsenal fell from #the top shelf and now im here and I'm gonna get this right I cant be afraid anymore

[lokisprettygirl]

Hit me Baby, One more Time (Wrestler Loki x Female Reader)

Read Chapter 26 here

Chapter 27

Summary : You learn more about loki and you can't help but want to know more about those skeletons in his closet.

Warning : 18+ Some dirty situations, daddy kink, Child abuse, traumatic childhood incident, Animal abuse

Note : As a pet owner who recently got sick, this was hard to write but I had this in my mind since the beginning so I didn't want to discard it (and it has happened to someone I know really well ) There are people like Odin who legit exist and it breaks my heart for everyone who have to live with such abusers.

"Because I can't become a father, got sterilized when I was 21" 

You looked at him shocked as he revealed yet another thing about himself, something you were not expecting from him.

"You did what?" You asked him like a moron even though you understood him very well and he tilted his head "Vasectomy, heard of it?" He asked you, his tone a little on the harsher side "Yesss I ..I " you mumbled and he pulled himself away from you. He didn't know what kind of reaction he expected from you, but your hesitation bothered him. He wanted to go back to his shell and never come out of there.

"Why did you do that?" You asked him and he grabbed his jacket from the bed to put it on "None of your business" . You teared up as you heard his voice devoid of any feelings. 

"Sorrry, I'm sorry" you muttered mindlessly, you didn't know what you did to offend him. But he seemed upset.

If he was going to leave again, you promised yourself that you won't stop him or see him ever again.

When he heard your broken voice he looked at you, you were looking down and his heart clenched. This is what he'd always do, he'd hurt you and then walk out and come back to hurt you again, just like Odin. He had a decision to make right now, he could leave right now and never bother you again or he could stay and wipe your tears, and make you feel better and not do this again. You did nothing wrong, you must be curious to know more, this is what you two decided to do right? Learn more about each other?

He walked closer to you and he cupped your cheeks, then he wiped your tears from both of his thumbs "Why are you crying?" He asked you and you looked at him.

"I thought you were going to leave" he sighed as he heard you, he did think about it "I am not leaving okay? Stop crying, don't let me hurt you, I'm an asshole you know that" he mumbled as he kissed your forehead "Only sometimes" you mumbled and he smiled at the adorable sound of your voice.

"Do you know how fucked up my kid would turn out to be?" You looked at him as he asked you or told you that "That's what you think" he smiled and you pulled him closer by grabbing his jacket "Does it bother you that I could never be a real daddy?" He asked you and you thought about it.

Whatever is happening between you two is definitely not normal and is definitely toxic to say the least, but at the same time you don't want to stop, a part of you is always inclined to trust him for some reason. Now you see what he meant when he said he won't be able to give you everything in future. But the future is not here yet, he's here and he's in your arms.

"It's your life, your body, you can do whatever you want, why would it bother me? I was just curious to know your reason for doing it so young" You told him and he was a little surprised by your answer, 

 "Well kids are overrated, bringing another life and all that shit isn't a miracle, it's just evolution, just a pointless need to leave a fragment  behind when you're gone" you nodded your head and he picked you up then he sat you down on the dresser. That's what he thought about relationships too but you changed it. He was scared about you changing him more.

"Let me order that coffee" you mumbled as you tried to step down but he didn't allow you "Did you want it? With him? With Jackass" He asked you and you sighed. You did want it all, a year ago you were sure that you'd end up marrying Jack and have his kids, a family "It doesn't matter if I did, it's all gone now" you told him honestly and you couldn't read the expression on his face.

The thought of you being Mrs Hudson, and bearing little jackasses in your womb filled him with intense jealousy, he knew he was fucked for you, but as soon as things got a little emotion heavy he wanted to take a step back, but moments like this, where the fear of losing you forever hit him out of nowhere, all he wanted to do was hold you and never let anyone else even look at you. He was being unfair he knew that, but he didn't want to stop. A guy like Jack would only bring you pain, nothing else, he would bind you into a marriage and burden you with kids, then as soon as he steps out in the real world, he would act like a free man, act as if the world's most beautiful woman isn't waiting for him at home.

"Good because you deserve better" Not that he was any better. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and you kissed him like that, your legs wrapped around his waist Instinctively. As soon as he felt your lips on his, he lost all his thoughts and worries "Would you stay the night? Cuddle me please" you mumbled and he looked at you

"Mmm okay, but I need something from you" you smirked, waiting for a filthy sexual request but he surprised you again with something thoughtful.

"If you clear this round, which you will, I want to move you somewhere safer, is that okay?" He asked you and you sighed. You'd like to get out of this dingy hotel too but you can't "I can't afford it Loki, I don't have a job here yet, i'm living off my savings" you told him honestly and he kissed your forehead.

"Move into my mama's house? She'd get a company and you won't have to worry about spending your savings on accomodation, besides she has taken a liking to you" he whispered in your ear as he kissed your temple and you thought about it. His mom likes you, the thought made you blush. It's so strange that he has met your parents and you met his mom too, and it's not even a relationship. But That would be too weird right? It would be like moving in with him "But you'd be there? And we are not there yet " You asked him and he smirked

"I can find another place if that makes you uncomfortable'' What is this enigma of a man? You really don't understand him sometimes.

"I don't want to separate you from your mother Loki, how long are you going to be here?" You asked him and he tilted his head.

"I'm contractually obligated to fight for WWE, at least one fight per week so 6 days here and one day in NY, You must not know this but thor challenged me to win the battle of the year, it's the MMA's most prestigious tournament" he told you and you pretended as if you didn't know anything about it. You heard it all.

"Oh that sounds rough, just so you know I'm on your side" you smiled and he did the same "You better be, I do need to talk to you about the journey he took with you" he mumbled and you gulped nervously "Not now though" you took a deep breath at that.

You kissed him again and then you took a shower, while you were in the bathroom, he called Frigga to let her know that he won't come home tonight.

"I'm with Birdy, mama" he told her and she gasped "He's with birdy" she whispered to Martha and Martha's eyes widened "Did you share your concerns with her?" She asked him and he responded in yes.

"What did she say?" She asked again curiously and he smiled "She understood, thank you for the help" he chuckled and he hung up soon after.

When you came out, you were wearing just a skimpy tank top along with shorts, didn't really leave much to imagination, he knew you were trying to torture him. You heard the knock on the door, must be the room service with your tea, since you both were about to sleep you ordered tea to relax.

"Stay there, I'll take it" he told you as he looked at your indecent attire and you smirked. Once he took it, he made the tea, all English style and that made you think of something "Are you from England?" You asked him and he stared at you, you were applying body lotion on your bare legs, he was trying to control the urge to pound you until you pass out. So It took him a while to answer "No" He didn't want to lie to you but you were not ready for the truth either.

"Why the accent then?" You asked him as you remembered frigga had the same English accent and so did Thor "It sounds cool" he told you and you shrugged, not wanting to press further. 

He passed you the cup and you put it on the dresser. He stood behind you, his eyes focused on you in the mirror so he got on his knees and pushed your hair aside, placing a kiss on the nape of your neck, the touch made you shudder. No this was supposed to be your game, you were supposed to entice him with erotic lotioning.

"Squirt" he whispered in your ear and you felt your face heating up "Whatt?" You asked him and he smirked "The lotion, dirty girl" he placed his palm in front of you in a supine position so you squirted a dollop of lotion on it "More" he whispered again so you did it again. 

Then he rubbed his palms together and placed it on your bare shoulder, then he slid his hands downwards, excruciatingly slow, you tried to stifle the moan but you failed. So easy.

"Drink your tea babygirl" he whispered in your ear and then he sucked on your neck, you picked your cup off the dresser and he could notice your hands shaking. He nudged the cup towards your lips and you took a sip, he took the bottle of the lotion and squirted some more of it on his palms then he rubbed them over your clavicles. The ball, officially out of your field zone.

His long thick fingers trailed dangerously close to your breasts, but every time you thought he'd put his hands inside and cup your breasts, he would pull them back, his thumb rubbing against your back in a circular motion.

Then he brought his hands downwards on your thighs, and massaged the lotion on your upper thighs, again his hands teased you as his thumbs ran over the insides of your thigh. You hate him so much.

Then all of a sudden his one hand cupped your mound and the other one wrapped around your throat in a choking position. And that's when you dropped the cup, the warm liquid spilled all over the floor. Fuck 

"You think you can play me silly girl? You're trembling just from me touching your bare skin innocuously" you put your head down on his shoulder as you moaned "I'm sorrrry Daddy" you whined as you mumbled, he couldn't believe how easily you slipped into the submissive position without even realising it

He pressed his palm over your clothed heat and the pressure of his other hand tightened on your neck, his hands so big that his fingers almost met with his thumb on the nape of your neck.

He kissed your cheek on the right side, he wanted to destroy you, he wanted to take you all night long and he knew you wouldn't be opposed to it if he coaxed you just a little more. But he didn't want to do that to you, not when you clearly mentioned that you won't let him fuck you before you clear the next round.

"Don't be sorry babygirl, it's okay, daddy loves it when you are being so desperate for him, look at yourself" he asked you to look at yourself in the mirror, you felt ashamed. You truly looked pathetic as you sat there breathing heavily and zoned out but you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy every second of it.

"Property damage, you're such a bad little thing" he pulled his arms away from you, leaving you all weak in your knees and then he picked up the broken shards up from floor, he didn't want you to hurt yourself at night. You just sat there looking at him mindlessly as he cleaned the floor. Once he discarded the shards in the trash bin he picked you up from the dressing chair and he laid you down on the bed. 

Then he took his jacket off, the athletic top followed, and his jeans too. He was only left in his black briefs, you could see the outline of his cock "Calvin Klein?" You giggled and he raised his eyebrows as he laid down next to you "What? I endorse them " he chuckled, slightly amused by your fits of giggles. You're adorable.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and he pulled you closer, he let out a contented sigh as he felt your warmth. 

"Birdy?" You hummed as you heard him, you didn't realize how exhausted you felt until you laid down on the bed, in his comfortable embrace "Thank you" 

"For what?" You asked him and you placed a soft kiss on his neck "For seeing me today, for listening to me, for trusting me" he mumbled and you looked at him, he leaned down to kiss you and you smiled between the kisses.

Next morning he woke you up and you both showered ,Separately, then you had breakfast together. He didn't try to seduce you again and you were thankful for that. You had to go to the studio and he had to go to the gym, so he decided to drop you. He had to go home to change his clothes anyway.

 When you reached the studio, Nina greeted you and then she left. Mack was still not there and Loki didn't want to leave you all alone, so he stayed with you.

"if you're getting late you can leave, he's on his way" you told him as he kept looking at his watch. He walked over to you and he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you closer "See me later?" He asked you and you nodded your head. Then you got on your tippy toes and he smiled "Trying to kiss me?" He chuckled as he watched you struggling to reach him 

"You said you wanted me to kiss you before you leave me" he cupped your cheeks and he leaned his head down so he could kiss you. Truth to be told, He didn't want to leave you, he craved your company, he wanted to keep you with him all the time, What have you done with him?

"Y/n?" You heard mack's voice and pulled away from Loki, he turned around and smiled at Mack, Mack was giving you a look and then he walked towards loki in an angry manner and loki seemed amused "You kissed my girlfriend" he raised his voice and your eyes widened so you shook your head and made a cut it out gesture with your hand so he relaxed. 

It wasn't not humiliating for Mack to say the least "When can I pick you up?" Loki asked you and you told him to see you in a few hours. He leaned down and kissed you again before he left.

"You're dating the hottie now? Could have told me, I made a fool of myself" he said to you and you winced, you'd be embarrassed too if it was you

"I'm sorry and we are not dating, I told you it's complicated" he huffed and you hugged him to calm him down "Are you looking for places for us to stay if we get in" you asked him. For now he was staying with a few frat boys he knew and that's why you couldn't stay with him.

"No I don't want to jinx it" he shrugged and you sighed. You thought about the offer Loki gave you last night. A very generous offer. But you couldn't help and wonder if it would complicate things? Besides living in a mansion? What would you tell your parents?

Once you got done with the rehearsals, Mack had to leave to do something personal. He doesn't tell you everything which is okay, you don't either, but he's your only friend and you don't want to lose him in the glittery limelight of LA. Just 5 more days and your fate will be decided

 You couldn't stop wondering what would happen to this Thing with Loki if you had to go back. Wow you felt stressed all of a sudden.

When Loki picked you up, you didn't fail to notice the bruises on his cheeks. His pretty face seemed busted. "What happened ?" You asked him as you caressed him with your fingers and he shrugged "Boxing" 

He unbuckled himself and leaned down to kiss you as if he was longing for it from ages, well it has been a few hours. He left you all breathless and craving for more as he pulled away "How did the rehearsals go? Did you hurt yourself somewhere again?" He asked you and you nodded your head 

"Actually yes" you rotate your arms and show him a bruise starting to develop on the back of your arms.

He shook his head as he buckled your seatbelt "Be careful tomorrow or I'll have to punish you for being a careless little birdy" he winked at you and you didn't know if you wanted to be careful or more careless.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked him as he drove and he nodded "Your mom told me she used to take you for dance classes, did you like dancing?" He looked at you intently and then he looked ahead "Yeah" he sighed.

"What happened to birdy?" You asked him again and he smiled "I gagged her because she couldn't stop asking questions" you looked at him confused for a second then you shook your head. Then his smile diminished and his demeanor changed.

"Odin left her out in the yard one day" he said after few seconds and you looked at him

"Why did he do that?" You questioned him again and he shrugged .

"He liked punishing me whenever I did something wrong" 

"What did you do to warrant such a cruel punishment?" 

"I lost my first fight" 

"Against who?" 

"Thor"

"How old were you then?"

"I was 9"   

"That's-" you were going to say something again but he cut you off "Enough birdy" 

You looked to the side as he said that, you knew Odin was an abusive husband and the shit he pulled with Loki and Darcy, and now this made you believe that loki wasn't spared from his abuse either. The thought broke your heart.

"By the way she didn't fly away, he fed her to our neighbor's doberman"

You looked at him shocked and your eyes teared up as you heard that, when he reached your hotel, he unbuckled your seat belt and pulled you closer on top of him "Did you see him do that?" You asked him as you sniffed and he kissed your forehead softly "He made sure that I would" 

"I'm so sorry" you wrapped your arms around his neck tightly and he teared up, he swore to himself that he'd never cry over birdy again, but right now the way you tried to comfort him, he couldn't help but feel that pain again.

"Its okay y/n, I'm okay" he told you and you looked at him. He was hiding so much pain inside him, the more he revealed about his past, you could see why he became so emotionless and why he wasn't able to feel anything for anyone for a long time.

"Did your mom know about this?" You asked him as you caressed his cheeks and he shook his head "She thinks birdy flew away, and that's what I want her to think" 

You didn't say anything after that, you just kissed him until you could see the pain in his eyes fading and it got replaced with lust instead.

"If you don't want me to fuck you senseless, you shouldn't tempt me like this" he whispered and you opened the door of the driver's side and got out as you smirked. He followed you quickly after that.

You thought about all the kissing and touching you'd do once you reach your room. And you did.

After a heavy makeout session you decided to cuddle and sleep. But something kept bothering you, the bruises on his cheeks healing quickly. You have never seen anything like that. You didn't know how it was even possible but you didn't want to question him more. At Least not today.

Next morning he had to see a few people for the upcoming photo shoot so he dropped you at the studio and you didn't see him for the rest of the day. 

However when you got back to your hotel, you had someone waiting to see you. But it wasn't Loki.

➖➖➖➖➖➖💚💚💚➖➖➖➖➖

Taglist : @colifower @karuna11 @vbecker10 @the-wounded-healer05 @hayden429 @lokismfbitch @limiworld @12-pm-510 @daddylokisqueen @lokislovingvalkyrie @3ddiebrock @chaotics17 @rat-p1ss @wheredafandomat @notmesimpingforanothabritishlad @salinawhite07 @sluttybitchs-world @dren-whalen @catalina712 @bouffantofdoom @lokistoejam @multifandom-world8 @loving-barnes @apine7 @midgardianminx @rainybananaturtletaco @marions-wither88 @phantombaby @snigdha-14 @disneyismyworldforever @xpixiedevilx @sarcastically-defensive17 @julian0800

@christineblood @vllowe

#loki #loki x female reader #wrestler loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader smut #loki x reader insert #loki x reader angst #loki x you #loki x reader fic #dom! loki x sub! reader #loki fics

[leximitchells]

hello! how r u doing?)

sorry to bother, could u and ur anons please give me a recap of what's going on in ee? i stopped watching sometime in november, and am curious about starting again now

✌💜🌻

sorry it took me so long to get to this, a lot has gone on and i’m definitely gonna miss a lot of it so hopefully other people can add on to what i forgot. it’s going under the cut bc it’s really long oops

in the first week of january ben and callum were the subjects of a homophobic attack that also involved stacey, eve, and ash. ben had flashbacks to when paul died and has been kicking himself for not being able to save callum, just like how he wasn’t able to save paul. so now he’s in the throws of major ptsd and decided to go back into the closet in public (with some wrongful encouragement from pam) but this week sharon gave him the advice to “fake it till you make it” so he kissed callum in public and that’s where we left off

stuart was diagnosed with breast cancer and didn’t tell anyone for a while, but now his family and some other people know. he was supposed to get surgery for it but was afraid to take the drugs in his recovery because of his past as a drug addict, so he escaped from the hospital (with the help of a just-had-a-flashback-to-the-attack ben who was dissociating and gave stuart money to leave) and now he’s at a treatment center.

chelsea had the baby (named jordan) at 27 weeks and is now in the NICU, she got married to gray on christmas day (in a joint wedding ceremony with denise and jack who are also married now) and whitney and kheerat are aware that gray killed chantelle due to some posts she made on an online forum for women, but they’re still trying to get more proof before going to the police for some reason??? also tina’s body is in the argee bhajee and because a gas explosion went off there this week, it’s looking like that’ll be discovered pretty soon. chelsea is also aware that whitney and kheerat are trying to take down gray but she’s in the throws of post-partum depression and gray’s manipulation so she’s not having it.

janine met with linda around christmas and got her to start drinking again to keep her away from mick.

phil is currently awaiting sentencing to be sent to jail for life for the murder of kim’s husband vinny like five years ago (phil wasn’t actually the one who killed him but i think he ordered him to be taken care of and that caused him to die? sorta unclear) but the cops offered phil a deal if he becomes an informant for them, which he obviously does not want to take because there’s nothing worse to a mitchell than a grass! phil wanted to transfer all of his businesses to ben before he goes away but ben is not in a mental state to be able to do that so phil is transfering it all to sharon for now.

that baby that showed up on sharon’s doorstep was denny’s daughter alyssa bc he impregnated a girl named jada before he died. jada got scared that sharon was gonna take the baby from her bc zack told her that’s what she wanted to do, so she ran away with the baby and sharon kicked zack out of her house because of it.

i’m pretty sure that’s most of the important stuff??? i can’t believe how much i know about this dumb show lmao 🤦🏻‍♀️

#anonymous #eastenders

[elsanna-shenanigans]

December Contest Submission #22: All the Way

words: ca. 3700 setting: mAU lemon: no cw: violence, blood and gore, knives, firearms, assault, graphic bodily harm, minor character deaths, violence as a turn on

Note: This story is disqualified from the contest and will not be included in the poll as it is not eligible to be voted on. Reason of DQ: failed to meet the obligatory restriction for the month (no murder)

Anna carefully placed her rucksack on its stand near the front door of the apartment. Despite her honorable discharge a few months ago, some things never changed, like her habit of stowing her gear properly as soon as she came home.

She’d traded MREs and her rifle for textbooks and a tour of duty in graduate school, having retired from the Army after two tours of duty in Kandahar but still woke up out of habit every morning at 5 AM to run a few miles wearing the rucksack and its 20 pound iron plate.

Before the Army, she had been hilariously clumsy, crashing into all sorts of things. Years of sneaking into hostile places in the middle of the desert had largely cured her of her clumsiness, though she did still manage to rarely stumble over completely flat floor. Her excuse was that the burning deserts of Afghanistan were rarely ever flat floor. Anna made liberal use of her infiltration skills she’d learned in Ranger school, slipping in as quietly as she could to avoid waking her sister.

Her sister was a notoriously light sleeper, Elsa’s anxiety constantly prodding the edge of her consciousness. After Anna had been discharged, she’d moved in with her sister while she figured out what she wanted to do with her life after the military. Her presence, especially in their shared bed, had helped Elsa’s anxiety settle down a little.

Anna smiled to herself, thinking of her sister. Elsa was one of the most brilliant people she knew. Three years older than her, Elsa was 27 and a Ph.D. in cryogenics, studying the reactivity of different materials under extreme cold. She’d already been scouted by several large corporations, but had turned them down as she was close to earning her own lab at Arendelle University.

When they were growing up, Anna had idolized her big sister, but it wasn’t until her first week in boot camp when she realized she loved Elsa in more ways than one - she liked women, and the women she’d taken to bed around the world had always been thin, pale-haired blondes. A few weeks after moving in with Elsa, she’d discovered her sister had similar proclivities, most recently having dated a couple of redheads. One night after a few drinks, they’d confessed that who they were really looking for was each other.

As Anna crept through the apartment, her instincts twigged. Something wasn’t right; the noises in their apartment were off somehow. Elsa wasn’t a loud sleeper by any means, but she did quietly snore from time to time. This silence was off, was wrong, like the eerie silence of the desert when a large predator was roaming.

Then she heard it. A muffled sound, the sound of struggle. Anna knew THAT sound all too well, the sound of someone held prisoner. She’d heard it in hovel after hovel, kicking in doors in the remote villages far from the city and finding Taliban insurgents holding locals prisoner. She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed the 10-inch chef’s knife silently from the knife rack.

As approached the bedroom, she heard the quiet sound of someone dialing a phone. She looked through the antique keyhole in the door to see a man standing over the bed in black fatigues, holding his smartphone. Her sister appeared to be tied up and gagged with duct tape, but otherwise looked fully dressed and unharmed.

She appraised the man one more time. Five foot nine inches tall or thereabouts. Black webbing holster with some model of Glock pistol in it, but the retention guard was on, so he wouldn’t be able to fast-draw it. He must have taken Elsa by surprise and not needed the weapon. Muscular, but she couldn’t make any other details out besides that.

The intruder turned his back, walking to the window as he held the phone up to his ear. “Boss,” he said, his voice low but definitely masculine, “It’s done. I’ve got the package, ready for pickup.” The man nodded, getting instructions over the phone. “Yeah, no troubles. Okay, 15 minutes, copy that. There’s a service entrance to the apartment building in the back, park the car there. Apartment 213. Yeah, it’s open. Okay. Yeah, have the money ready when I get there. Yup.”

The man hung up the call and stared out the window, then foolishly began to play some game on his phone. He clearly regarded Elsa as no threat to him.

Anna weighed her options before creeping back to the kitchen and grabbing the honing steel from the knife rack. She needed this guy alive to figure out what was happening. Anna made her way back to the bedroom, peeked in the lock once more, and found the man playing his video game.

She made her move, opening the door swiftly while flinging the honing steel at his head. She threw perfectly, the impact blinding him as she advanced on his position. As he shouted in pain, she slammed a sharp kick into his knee, shattering the ligaments with her heel and folding his knee inward. The attacker fell to the floor, Anna bringing the chef’s knife to his throat.

“Who are you and what do you want with my sister?” she hissed as she pressed the blade against his throat while removing his pistol from him. She held the Glock in one hand, weighing it mentally.

“Fuck you!” he snarled back, holding his crippled leg.

She stepped back, putting the knife on the nightstand as she flipped the safety off the pistol and aimed it at him. “Last chance, asshole, unless you want to be perforated. Spill.”

“I’m not telling you anything, bitch!”

Anna rolled her eyes, then closed the distance to the attacker and pistol-whipped him, knocking him unconscious. She rifled through his pockets, extracting the smartphone and a wallet. The electrical tape he’d bound Elsa with was on his Sam Brown belt, and she returned the favor, binding him carefully.

Satisfied that he was going nowhere, Anna turned her attention to Elsa, who was laying in the fetal position on the bed, eyes wide with terror. “Hold still, sis, and I’ll get you out of this okay?” she reassured, as Elsa mutely nodded. Anna took the knife and carefully cut Elsa’s restraints. Her sister burst into sobs and flung her arms around Anna’s neck.

“Anna! Thank god, I was so scared! Thank you, thank you,” she cried as she pressed kiss after kiss against Anna’s cheek and neck.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” she soothed, kissing her sister on the lips and gently stroking her hair. After a few moments, Elsa’s cries subsided. “So… what happened, Elsa? Do you know this guy at all?”

Elsa shook her head. “I have absolutely no idea. I was sleeping, and next thing I know, he’s pointing a gun at me and telling me if I make a sound, he’ll shoot me,” she said, shivering. “Then he… he…” she stuttered.

“He tied you up with the tape,” Anna said quietly.

Elsa nodded. “I thought… I thought for sure he was going- going to-”

“I know, honey,” Anna comforted her. “Thank goodness he apparently had other plans. He was going to kidnap you, but I’m guessing you have no idea why.”

“No, not at all. Who would go to all this trouble for a nerdy girl like me?” Elsa shook her head in bewilderment.

Anna looked at her watch before kissing Elsa on the forehead. “I don’t know, sis. Well, I would, but that’s different. Anyway, the bad guys will be here in… I think probably about 10 minutes, based on what he said on the phone. Help me drag him into the closet so he’s out of our way.”

The sisters took the man’s unconscious body and tossed him unceremoniously in the walk-in closet. Anna inspected the electrical tape one last time, satisfied that he’d have to dislocate multiple joints to escape, then rifled through his pockets to find his wallet and phone. The driver’s license said his name was Hans Westergaard.

“Elsa, I’m guessing that whoever is on the way will give us a clue as to what the hell is going on here. That said, I don’t want you to get hurt so… why don’t you go to…” Anna pondered quickly. Whoever wanted Elsa kidnapped probably knew who she was, so sending her out of the building could be disastrous. “Lay down in the bathtub, Elsa.”

Elsa looked at her sister, confused. “The bathtub? Why?”

“It’s solid iron. This dude Hans had a gun, so whoever’s on their way probably is carrying, too. I don’t want you getting shot by accident if things go south, and the tub will keep you safe,” she said with a smile. Part of the charm of their apartment was the massive cast-iron clawfoot tub, big enough to hold them both - a pastime they enjoyed liberally, often together.

“All right,” Elsa said, walking to the bathroom. “What about you? Shouldn’t you get in here too?”

Anna smirked as she tied her ponytail into a tight braid to keep her red hair out of her eyes. “No. I’m going to get some answers about what’s going on.” She changed out of her jogging shorts and shirt into her old fatigues.

“Anna, it’s too danger-”

Anna arched her eyebrow at her sister, who promptly stopped speaking.

“Okay, okay, miss Green Beret sister of mine,” Elsa smiled weakly as she ducked her head back into the bathroom.

“Ranger! They’re different, Elsa, I keep telling you that,” Anna said with a giggle. Her sister was a genius in some ways, but the epitome of the absent-minded professor. “Now shoo, I’ve got to get ready. They’ll be here in a few minutes. And Elsa?”

“Hmm?” her sister’s voice echoed from inside the tub.

“Call 911 and get the police on their way.”

Anna walked back into the bedroom and quickly inspected the gun she’d seized from Hans, a Glock 17 with an extended magazine and a noise suppressor. She popped the magazine out and inspected the rounds. Jacketed 9 millimeter hollowpoints, she thought, this guy was loaded for bear. She opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out her own Beretta 92F, the civilian counterpart to the pistol she carried on active duty, affixing the holster to the small of her back. Whoever was coming to take her sister was in for a rude surprise.

She locked the front door and hid in the kitchen, waiting for the assailants to arrive. They wouldn’t be expecting a fight, so she had surprise on her side for the moment, and Elsa was safe in the bathtub. Anna took a few centering deep breaths, preparing herself for the confrontation. She heard building elevator ding on their floor and the sound of feet walking down the corridor.

A lot of feet.

Anna closed her eyes and listened carefully, trying to count the different footfalls. She guessed ten… no, twelve different people in the hall. Shit, she thought, who sends 12 guys to pick up one person? What, are they like his 12 brothers or something?

She looked at her sidearms. The Glock held 22 rounds with its extended magazine. Hers held 15. She’d have to make every shot count, if it came to that. I miss my old service rifle, she lamented. Anna checked her watch; if Elsa had called, the police should be arriving within a minute or two. She opted to start with the largest magazine first, keeping her sidearm in its holster.

The men were at the door, jiggling the handle. She heard muffled voices on the other side. “Stupid little shit said it was unlocked.” The lead man started knocking on the door. “Hans! You locked the door, you dumbass! Open up!”

A solid minute passed as the voices in the hallway grew more agitated, the knocking more insistent on the door. Anna heard police sirens in the distance. Cavalry’s on the way, she breathed. Just have to wait them out another couple of minutes. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as she remained hunched down.

She didn’t get her couple of minutes. With a loud crack, the lead attacker put his shoulder into the door, the doorframe beginning to crack and splinter. Anna considered her options; the kitchen had line of sight to the living room, and Elsa was safely out of the line of fire if she stayed where she was, but she would have almost no escape route if things went south.

Bottleneck, she thought. Stop them as they come through the door and they’re bottlenecked. The police sirens grew closer as the doorframe creaked under the strain. One more solid shove and they’d be through.

The first intruder came through the door and Anna shot him through the upper thigh, immediately causing him to fall to the floor in pain and present a stumbling hazard to the rest. The second person through, she shot in the center of mass and he fell backwards, but didn’t drop. Shit, they must have body armor, she swore to herself.

By now the men were screaming and scrambling to fight their unseen attacker. Another dropped, shot in the back by one of his careless compatriots trying to draw their weapon. Two rounds went far over her head as the chaos intensified and the attackers started shooting wildly. She edged around the kitchen counter and dropped a fourth man before ducking back under cover.

Bullets struck the refrigerator and stove, shattered one of the kitchen windows, and threw chips of marble from hitting the counters as the men shot in every direction. A small fire started on the stovetop from one of the rounds hitting a burner. Anna counted as they each kept pulling their triggers with no discipline. Amateurs, she muttered to herself. No trigger discipline.

A brief lull indicated they’d expended their magazines and needed to reload. At that moment, Anna rose over the kitchen counter and took down another three with clean headshots. Six down, six left. More incoming fire chewed up the kitchen walls, but Anna was reasonably safe behind the center island, its bulk and built-in appliances more than enough protection.

After another few moments of the attackers spraying the kitchen down and needing to reload, she rose up and shot another four. A fifth one accidentally shot himself in the foot reloading, screaming and rolling around on the ground. That left one.

A muffled scream sounded from the bathroom, followed by the sounds of struggle. A gruff voice echoed from the hallway. “Okay asshole, come on out with your hands up or the bitch gets it!”

Anna crawled on her stomach across the rubble of the kitchen and around the other side of the center island. She glimpsed the attacker, one arm around Elsa’s neck with his Glock pointed at her head. Damn, I have no shot from here. Elsa frantically grabbed at the attacker’s arm around her throat, her favorite blue silk gloves clawing at him.

Anna looked at all her options and they all sucked. She didn’t have a clean shot of any kind without putting her sister at substantial risk.

The lone remaining attacker reiterated his demands. “I mean it, bitch. Throw your gun out here and come out with your hands up!”

“All right, all right. I’m coming out. Don’t hurt her,” Anna declared, throwing the Glock to the side as she formulated her plan. The firearm clattered across the floor and slid into the wall. As Anna stood, time felt like it slowed down.

The attacker started to point the gun towards Anna, intending to shoot her as she surrendered, when he screamed in pain. The arm around Elsa’s neck turned blue, and a wave of ice began creeping over his flesh as his body began to freeze. Elsa’s fingers were glowing white and blue, a determined look on her face as she held on tight to the attacker.

Anna saw the motion of the attacker’s arm go wide as pain seized his body. She pulled her sidearm from its holster and took her best shot. Just as the bullet reached his face, his head froze completely and the impact shattered it into thousands of icy shards. Elsa ducked forward, and the attacker’s frozen body toppled over, the rest of it disintegrating as it hit the floor.

Elsa fell over, sobbing as Anna ran to her, laying her gun on the couch and scooping her up in her arms. “It’s okay, Elsa. It’s okay. You’re safe. It’s over,” she hugged her sister, noticing how cold to the touch she was. “What… what happened there, Elsa? I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

“It- it-” Elsa started, stammering.

“Police! Nobody move!” came a shout from the front door. Four Arendelle uniformed officers stormed in, guns drawn. Both sisters immediately raised their hands. The first officer shouted over his shoulder. “Sarge! We got two civilians and a shit load of bodies in here!”

A blond man dressed in an ill-fitting suit came in behind the uniformed police, his gun drawn as well. He surveyed the situation and gave a low whistle. “What… the fuck happened here? Who did this?”

“I did,” Anna said, standing up slowly, holding Elsa’s arms, “… Detective…?”

“Bjorgman. You did this? You’ll have to excuse me, but you don’t look the…” he paused as his eyes took in the rest of the apartment, noting Anna’s gear at the door, the small, tasteful display case of her service ribbons and medals, and a tan beret framed on the wall. “75th?” he asked, hesitant.

“Rangers lead the way, Detective.”

“All the way,” he automatically responded, saluting.

Anna breathed a sigh of relief. The police detective knew she was one of the good guys, answering her Ranger slogan as only other Army soldiers would know. That would doubtlessly make the questioning they’d face much easier.

Elsa shivered in her arms, still freezing. “Hey,” she whispered in Elsa’s ear, “just stay close to me, okay? I’ll keep you warm.” She turned back to the detective. “I’m guessing you have some questions?” she smiled with a lopsided grin.

“Just a few…”

Nearly 12 hours later, the sisters decompressed in their hotel room. They’d spent the day at the Arendelle police department, giving testimony and evidence. They wouldn’t be allowed back in their apartment until the forensics teams finished gathering evidence; Hans was in custody as the sole surviving son of what was apparently one of Arendelle’s more notorious crime families.

Anna toweled off her hair as Elsa lay on the queen-size bed, snuggled in an oversize white terry cloth bathrobe. She stared absent-mindedly at the decorative fireplace, lit with projected flames and an electric heater blowing warm air in the room.

“Finally feels nice to have a quiet moment to ourselves,” Anna exhaled, flopping gracelessly on the bed before snuggling up to Elsa, enjoying the warmth. “How are you holding up, sis?” she asked gently, softly caressing Elsa’s cheek.

For her part, Elsa just shook her head. “I… Anna, I was so scared. I’m still so scared. I’ve never- you shot all those people and… I know you had to do stuff like that in the Army, but I never… I never expected to see it up close. And the way… the last one…”

Anna hugged Elsa tight, reaching into her sister’s robe to gently stroke her skin, something that always comforted her. “I know, honey. It… you get used to it after a while. Well, I hope it’s something you never have to get used to. Anyway, I’ve been waiting all day to ask you. What the hell happened there? One minute Baddie McBadFace is pointing a gun in my direction, and the next thing I know, he looks like Jack Torrance from The Shining.”

“I… I think this is what they were after, Anna.” Elsa leaned over to grab her backpack off the floor. She dug out her blue silk gloves and a cloth-covered hip pack. “This is something I’ve been working on in my lab for a couple of years now. It’s a portable cryogenics unit that channels extreme cold through a pair of gloves.” She looked around before lowering her voice. “It’s part of a contract the lab has with the Department of Defense, supposedly to help bomb people defuse bombs easier by chilling them.”

Anna whistled. “That is seriously so cool-” she snort laughed, “I mean, so awesome. My EOD definitely could have used that in Kandahar. Fuck, I could have used that most of the time, it was so hot there!”

“I grabbed it when I hid in the bathtub, in case that’s why they were there, and then when that guy pulled me out to use me as a shield, I… I couldn’t let him hurt you, Anna. So I turned it on, hoping it would cause enough of a distraction,” she said, shuddering. “I knew it would make everything around me cold, including me. I… I didn’t know it would… would kill him.”

“Hey, you didn’t do that, I did, okay? You kept me safe, like you always used to promise when we were kids,” she kissed Elsa’s forehead. “And I got to keep you safe, too.” She pressed a gentle kiss against her sister’s lips. “Can I tell you something secret?”

Elsa nodded. “Of course, anything.”

“I’m really horny right now,” she giggled, winking at her sister.

“Anna! How- what- I- Anna! Seriously, how could you be at a time like this, after a day like today?” Elsa gasped, shocked. Anything other than staying safe in her sister’s arms was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment.

“It always happens after a mission or a firefight! I think it’s just my body thanking me for staying alive,” she smiled, stretching out on the bed like a cat. “I’m guessing you’re not?”

“No! Anything but!”

Anna put on a fake frown before bursting into giggles. “Okay. But promise me you’ll reconsider in the morning?”

Elsa gave a weak smile. “We’ll see.”

“I can work with that,” Anna grinned back, hugging her sister tight and pulling the blankets over them.

#elsanna #submission #december 2020 contest #prompt: warmth #cw: violence #cw: blood #cw: gore #cw: knives #cw: firearms #cw: guns #cw: assault #cw: graphic bodily harm #cw: minor character death

[ellus986]

Like a thunder

Single dad Ben Hardy x reader part 2

Okay so from sweet little girls to heavier stuff, we need to speak about things like this too! If any of you experience anything like the end of this chapter please conect someone, tell your parents your family or the cops even!

Warning: kissing, violance, abuse, domestic abuse, swearing

Christmas came around and even you worked on friday you haven’t seen either Ben or Keila. It was not a suprise to you, sure they were on holiday or something, it was not a big deal, you only would’ve been able to go down to you brother’s for one and a half week instead of one if you don’t agree to be in on the 27. and thanks to that even on 28., but who counts things like that. Anyways, last time he acted like nothing happend. You were not mad about it, or even heartbroken, but a little sad that your kiss was nothing for him.

No one was coming in at 9 o’clock already so your boss lets you home. “Have a nice holiday!” He says as you come out in your jacket with your backpack.

“You too!” You wave as you walk out, smiling as finally it was time for your holiday to begin.

“Wait!” You hear as you walk to the bus station, as you look back you see Ben.

“Sorry, my shift is over for today, or the year to be honest, but my boss is still in for an hour!” You answer, as it is clear as hell he did not came because of you.

“I don’t care if the diner is open or not, I came to see you!” He mumbles while trying to catch his breath. “I ... I wanted to say sorry, for being so careless last friday... so did not wanted you to feel like that kiss meant nothing, just...” he runs his fingers in his blonde locks, while he can’t make eyecontact with you. “It is just hard as a dad... I don’t want Keila to be in the middle of anything like this, not when everything is so plastic...”

“Anything like what?” You look at him in disbelief.

“Ooh my God...” he finally looks in your eyes. “I like you, I liked you since we first stepped into that diner a year ago, I guess my own daugther senced it and pushed me to ask you out...” he blushes.

You step closer and kiss him, he grabs you waist and kiss you back, way more harder than last time.

“I like you too!” You wishper as you part your lips.

“Oh God, what a releaf...” he chuckles, pushing his forhead to yours.

New years eve:

“Wait a minute!” You laugh as you try to get the kids off of you.

“I guess you are busy...” he chuckles.

“Just give me one minute to eat these kiddos...” and as you say it teasing them, they run away screaming. “So I’m here!” You get your robe on and walk out to the balcony.

“So that is why you handled well Keila’s jumping thing!” Ben smiles at the camera running his fingers in his dirty blonde hair.

“I’m a well trained Auntie!” You stand proudly.

“No big parties, drunk boys in your planes for today?” He blushes.

“Naah” you shake your head. “Drunk girls in yours?”

“I spend the new years with the guys and Lucy in a pub in London, but would rather spend it with you or Keila...” he mumbles.

“Look at him good, less than two days and he is one year away from 30!” Jumps Joe in the picture.

“Hi Joe!”

“Hi Y/N!”

“Oh you are that old already?” You giggle.

“Why? Are you underaged?” He jokes, but you can see in his eyes he is not sure.

“Obviously not, as I can drink legally eight years now!” You laugh blushing.

“You are 29?” Joe looks shooked.

“No Silly, 26... you know, the legal drinking age in europe is 18!”

“It is always fulling me!” He slaps his own face. “I’m sorry to intorupt this beautiful moment, but we need to get ready for the night! I need to stole this blondie before you have an another wet experience!” He laughs with his head falling back.

“So you two really are coming in one?”

“But remember he will be home until next summer!” Ben makes sure you know Joe won’t be around all along.

“Hey, I planed to come earlier, and you should finally come to the U.S.A.!”

“How is it there? I was never overseas!” You try to keep them on the phone.

“Than you should come with the little girl see New York! It is the best place in the world!” Joe wonders off.

Next week:

You just arrived home from the countryside. You get your keys out, but as you want to open your door you realise it is already opened. Your hands are shaking as you push it in and step in. Your clothes are all over your living room, the flower you had on the table is on the kitchen floor beside a million broken glass pieces.

“You got it from him, right?” You hear the voice you hated to most from your bedroom.

“Peter, what are you doing here?” You try to stay calm, but your hands are shaking more and more.

“You got the flowers from him right?” He repeats like you did not asked him.

“From who?”

“Him, I saw your messages!” He steps closer. You want to get out of the apartment, but he steps to you and closes the door behind you. You are trapped there. The thing you liked in him once, was your worst enemy now: him being tall, and strong.

“I bought those flowers myself...you should know I always have some fresh daisies in my kitchen...” you mumble.

“With what he is better than me?” He asks as you slide out under his arm, but he follows you quickly. “With what?!” He pushes you to the wall, with his fingers on your neck.

“He is not choking me right now...” you try to say the words.

“Why?” He simply says as he finally lets go of your neck, and just hits the wall next to your face.

“Peter it is over a year now...”you wince as he punches the wall again leaving a second hole there. “Please, I need to pay to fix it...” you wishper.

“Why?” He says it again.

“Because... because we were not meant to be... we are different, that is all...”

“Why you like him more?” He sniffes.

“Peter please go!” You cry softly.

“Will you ever love me again?” He gets even closer to you.

“I could never again...” you cry sliding down the wall.

“Fuck you, bitch!” He kicks the wall, so close to your arms you can feel the wind of his leg, before ha walks out and shouts the door behind himself. You cry out loud, shaking hands in your hair, sitting at the ruined wall.

As you are able to calm yourself down enough to be understandable, you call the person you know you can trust. “Hi, Y/N! I thought you call at night on FaceTime!”

“Do... do you have Keila with yourself?” You sutter.

“Hey, What’s wrong? But no, I’m alone!” He sounds concerned.

“Peter... my ex was here... I don’t know he went away or he is still around... I don’t know what to do!” You sob.

“I’m on my way!” You can hear as he gets his clothes on.

“No wait, if he is here, he is dangerous, most likely for you!”

“Why?”

“He saw our Facebook messages... somehow he knew my password... he was hitting the wall yelling, all my clothes are out of my closet, the vase I had with flowers in it is broken as he thought you gave it to me...” you just star in the air.

“I’m on my way...”

“But...”

“There is not but! If he is around I hope he comes up to me and I can punch him!”

“Ben... please don’t, don’t be like him...” you cry out loud again.

“I will be there in 10 minutes!” He ends the call, and you sit there, doing nothing sobbing.

Ben’s view:

He sees noone around when he gets to your apartment, and as you wanted him to not act on it, he is happy about it, that means you are safe. He runs up, and freezes as he sees the ruined door still being open just for some centimeters. He steps in and his heart stops. You sit in a mess, holes are behind you in the wall your eyes are Cried out, and Oh God you had finger marks on your neck. Looking at you for a second was enough to understand what you meant under: don’t be like him.

Ben gets on his knees infront of you, and only that was the minute you realised he is there. You turn your head up, and he grabs you close to himself. You cry on his chest and he smooths your hair, after a while he speaks up. “Are you alright?”

“I am now... I am now!” You mumble into his chest.

“You can’t stay here, you can sleep at my place as long as you want, and if you want tomorrow we look after a new apartment where he can’t find you, or hurt you.” He stands up, and holds his hand out.

“Thank you...” you mumble getting up using his hand bumping into his chest. You look up, and he looks in your swollen eyes, and sees you just as beautiful as he first saw you. You kiss him softly, and he kisses back even softer, as he is afaird he would scare you, or even hurt you with more.

To be continued...

My sweet perms: @simply-sams-things @spacedustmazzello

Story tags: @jonesyaddiction @theprettyandthereckless

#single dad ben hardy #benjamin jones #benjamin hardy #ben hardy fan fiction #ben hardy x you #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #single dad fan fic #bohrap fanfic #bohrap fanfiction #joe mazzello #joseph fancis mazzello iii

[chaoticfruitcake]

70 Horrible Questions

I didn’t write the questions but I’m bored so here I’m answering all of them. Now you guys will know me more intimately than my search history does :)

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? - Yeah I do, my parents are really wonderful and supportive. I’m lucky to have ‘em :)

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? - My sister :D

03: Do you regret anything? - I wish I hadn’t come out so soon. I had to, because somehow it got out and random people in my grade knew so :/

04: Are you insecure? - Yes, with a lot of things. But a big part of that comes from social anxiety ;-;

05: What is your relationship status? -  lmfao i’m single. the gays are in hiding (at least from me)

06: How do you want to die? - Painlessly, preferably a quick-acting poison slipped in my wine glass by a scorned ex-lover, or something along those lines

07: What did you last eat? - A Snickers bar

08: Played any sports? - I was on the basketball team in sixth grade but I broke my arm right after the season started so I only played in 3 games.

09: Do you bite your nails? - I haven’t in 10 days, actually! It started when I was 5 because I was (still am) terribly anxious

10: When was your last physical fight? - Probably like a few months ago with my sister.

11: Do you like someone? - I have had the misfortune of being crush-less since I broke up with my ex, in January.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? - Yes. More than once, usually around exam season :) 

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? - I don’t generally hate people, except for that guy who called me a faggot and dyke and other horrible things in ninth grade, and his buddies.

14: Do you miss someone? - I miss all my friends. Lockdown sucks.

15: Have any pets? -  A shih tzu - pomeranian mix pup! his name is Pepper (Pepperoni for short)

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? - Tired and quite hungry. Tad bit numb.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? - Technically yes, once and very briefly. Strange experience.

18: Are you scared of spiders? - Not afraid, but I certainly am not a fan 

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? - Perhaps, I’d like to be a sapphic flapper in ‘20s New York 

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? - The aforementioned bathroom.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? - Work, and hopefully read a bit.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? - I don’t know, but if I do I’d like to adopt. And only one.

23: Do you have piercings? How many? - Both my ears are double-pierced, so 4. I’d like 3 more tho, one more on each ear, and a helix.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? - I love Biology, and Global Politics. I’m great at English too, but I’m not as interested in it.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? - My grandfather, he passed away when I was six.

26: What are you craving right now? - A large double-cheese pepperoni pizza with a tumbler of ice-cold Coke Zero.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? - Not that I know of, except for that boy in seventh grade who was terrible at hiding his crush on the closeted queer girl.

28: Have you ever been cheated on? - Nope.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - If I did she never told me.

30: What’s irritating you right now? - The fact that I cannot see my friends for months and my senior year might end without me even setting foot in school. 

31: Does somebody love you? - Romantically? lmfao no. Platonically? My lovely friends do, a lot <3.

32: What is your favourite color? - I have 2: lavender and light teal

33: Do you have trust issues? - Yes. For (mostly) valid reasons. I don’t like feelings and trust usually entails feelings. 

34: Who/what was your last dream about? - One was me and my friends hanging out in the foyer at school during a free period. There’s a flash of me pinning a girl against a wall and making out with her but I don’t remember that one very well.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? - My mom, I had a terrible panic attack. I only cry when I get panic attacks. 

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? - I don’t think so, I haven’t really had to though.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? - Forget probably, I move on from things pretty fast. I have too much anxiety to really be mad at people for long though.

38: Is this year the best year of your life? - The pandemic is obviously terrible, and I’ve had quite a few horrid experiences, but overall it’s been pretty good. I wouldn’t say it’s better or worse than any year before. And I’m hoping it keeps getting better.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? -  Technically 15, in that bathroom. But I don’t really count that one. So I haven’t had my first kiss yet.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? - Absolutely not. No thank you.

51: Favourite food? - Pepperoni pizza and Dum Ghosht mutton biryani.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? - I don’t think so really, that there’s a plan for everything. I think things usually work out, but not because of fate but because people work to fix things.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? - I was listening to my sapphic playlist; the last song was Housewife Spliffin’ by Ängie

54: Is cheating ever okay? - Maybe in very specific circumstances. Like a comatose spouse, I guess.

55: Are you mean? - Only to a very special few. Though apparently I give off intimidating vibes to people who don’t know me.

56: How many people have you fist fought? - I guess 2: my sister, and this one girl in middle school.

57: Do you believe in true love? - I like to think that it’s real. 

58: Favourite weather? - Thunderstorms! I love thunderstorms so much

59: Do you like the snow? - I live in the part of India where it never snows so I’ve only seen snow a few times. But it was very nice :)

60: Do you wanna get married? - Yes, I think so. 

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? - Um, yeah in *certain* situations (ahem). Though I prefer babe.

62: What makes you happy? - A lot of things. Running this blog, my dog, my friends, pizza, chocolate milkshakes, oversized sweaters, pretty girls and forehead kisses. A lot more too.

63: Would you change your name? - Not unless I needed to mask my identity.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? - She’s a really good friend of mine so it would be a bit awkward, heh.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - burst into laughter, i’m sorry but he’s like a brother to me and i’m too gay for him.

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? - Yeah, and I love him so much <3

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? - That best friend

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - One of my other best friends, she’s helped me through so much <3

69: Do you believe in soulmates? - Not exactly. I think it is possible to feel a bond with someone so strong that it’s like you were meant to be together, but it doesn’t make sense to me that there’s only person for each of us. I think that if soulmates are real, we get more than one.

70: Is there anyone you would die for? - My dog, my best friends, my sister and my parents. 

#now you know too much #about me #was this a mistake #i dont care #q and a

[notalone91]

All’s Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You)

Richie Tozier x Eddie Kasbrak (It: Chapter 2)

Richie and Eddie face their fears and, this time, Pennywise really doesn’t have anything to do with it.

tw: canon character death, momentary suicide contemplation, R for language.

a/n: Who let me have a new movie to be obsessed with?  Fun Fact: I’ve had a lowkey crush on Bill Hader for a long time (like since EARLY in the SNL years...) and it sort of ebbs and flows and... uh... right now it’s HIGH FUCKING TIDE.  You know what that means!  Time to make the pretty man’s character cry!!!

"Next time, we pick regular scary," Richie yelled as they ran down the tunnels toward the cavernous space where the rest of the Losers were still- hopefully- fighting Pennywise.

Eddie gasped for breath, wishing for a moment that he hadn't just set his inhaler on fire. "Next time?!" he squawked, shoving him lightly, not wanting to even entertain the thought of having to do this again. In his mind, maybe, in twenty-seven more years, he'd be able to shake off the guilt of what had just happened upstairs. Sure, he was afraid. That's all well and good. Most of the time, fear keeps you on your toes. Fear gets moles checked. Fear's tire pressure is checked regularly and the spare is in perfect condition. Fear turns the NFC setting off before walking away from the register. Fear becomes a risk analyst because what else does it do. Fear is safe and ready and aware. Until you're battling a monster for whom fear is a teenage boy in a microwave snack commercial. Then, fear is a liability. It's a weapon you've forged but never get to wield.  Fear is what gets you killed.  "There had better not be a fucking next time.  If there's a next time, we're all dead."

"Stop saying that, man," Richie said, tugging his still skittish friend into a small branch-off from their path. He struggled to pull his arm away and get back to the rest of their group but was fairly easily restrained. If there was one thing that his newfound memories had instilled in Richie, it was that their best shot at this shithead was together. "You weren't-"

"I was! I was going to let you die!" As he said them, the impact of his words hit Eddie like a ton of bricks. The shock and hurt on Richie's face was payment in kind. He folded his arms and took a step back, looking at the ground. "I froze. It had you and I couldn't..." He trailed off. His memory hadn't come back as clearly as the others yet. He wasn't sure what a lot of what was coming back to him meant. Soft touches, shared glances, hushed whispers mixed with the normal smacks and eye rolls and jokes about his mother. The only thing that was clear about it was the knot that developed in his stomach whenever he looked at Richie. There was something there. And not the bonds of escaping death. He certainly didn't get this feeling when he looked at Bill or Bev. This was different. Watching it set its sights on Richie, he felt himself completely detach from reality.  "I couldn't..."

Richie absentmindedly dug his fingers into his elbow.  “What, Eds? You were scared! This whole thing is nuts!”  He turned and started to pace, adjusting his glasses every time they began to slip.  “I am pretty sure if we hadn't all done this before, we'd have shit our pants and got the fuck out of dodge. You were stabbed in the face, for fuck's sake.”  His movements began to calm and he stared at him, gauze covering the too-fresh wound on his cheek.

“Yeah. And then what?”  Eddie spat, staring at his feet and cradling himself tighter.  “I'd be the guy who watched the only person he's ever loved get torn apart by some fucking spider version of...”  Just like in the movies, he could almost hear the record scratch to a stop and the glass shatter.  He had not meant to say that.  He was married.  His life was in New York and Richie’s was in L.A. and what difference did it make if he’d loved him when he was twelve?  His heart raced, betraying his panic, but all he could manage was a whispered  “Fuck.”

The tunnel grew eerily silent.  The two men stared at each other, willing the other to speak.  Richie couldn’t believe it.  

Over the years, he’d grown used to being alone.  Sometime since returning to Derry, he’d realized he’d been leaving room for Eddie to come back into his life.  He’d always look for someone’s reaction to his jokes, even alone.  Part of why he never wrote his own material was because no one on his team got them.  His assistants tried.  They really tried.  Time, now, made it all so clear.  He’d spent the last twenty-seven years trying to replace him.  Even moments before, his fears had manifested themselves as a closet.  How typical.  An aging queer literally terrified of a fucking closet.  Nothing had changed.  He’d let himself repress that whole aspect of himself because what difference did it make, truly, if Eddie wasn’t by his side?

He blinked back a few tears, finally finding his voice, breathless though it may have been.  “You loved me?”  

Eddie spluttered a few times but he couldn’t make himself clarify what he’d said.  Truthfully, it hadn’t required any clarification.  It was out there in the open and he’d said it and, terrified though he was he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.  If only it hadn’t been while standing ankle-deep in grey water and feet away from a physical manifestation of their deepest, darkest fears.  He simply snapped his mouth shut and silently pleaded for him to drop it.

“Eds?” Richie asked again, taking a step closer to him.  He reached his hand out and rested it gently on Eddie’s arm. 

As though scalded, he retracted his arm and turned away, shouting, “We don't have time for this!”  He could feel the flush of his cheeks and praised whatever God was looking over this godless place for the light not quite reaching them.

Having exactly none of his aversions this time, Richie chased after him.  “God damn it, Eddie! We could both die down here and if it's my last chance to hear you say it, I want to hear it!”  He clasped his hands around Eddie’s arms and shook him lightly.  “Just fucking say it!”  Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, beginning to fall freely.  “I need to hear you say it!” he begged.

Eddie shrugged him off and backed away, the familiar fear rising up in his throat.  “Hear what? 36 hours ago, neither of us remembered who the other was!”

“Fuck! Do I have to say it first?” Richie conceded, backing himself against the wall for support.  “I love you.”  His words were more of a shout than he’d have liked.  They echoed around the cave, trying to make up for lost time.  The power of his voice shocked them both a little.  Richie wrapped his arms around his middle and stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.  “I've loved you since we were kids.  I've loved you since before I was old enough to actually know what that meant. Jesus,” he sighed, resting his head against the wall, “for the past 27 years, there's been this stupid void that I could never fill.”  He finally managed to bring his eyes to Eddie.  He took a step toward him and reached out to swat his arm.  “It was you, fucker.”  He gave a bittersweet smile and shook his head, almost unable to believe how long it had taken him.  “You and your stupid hypochondria and your answers for everything and your neverending...”  When his eyes met Eddie’s, he startled himself.  Eddie’s expression didn’t come across as pleased or anything even remotely positive.  All Richie could see was fear and immediately, he began berating himself for even mentioning it.  He sucked in his lips and threw his hands up in defeat.  “You know what? Forget it. We all will soon enough anyway.”

A pressure built in his chest as he watched the moment begin to slip away, and this time, it wasn’t an asthma attack.  “No!” Eddie whimpered, moving toward him and catching his hands, pulling him in closer.  “I won't forget.”  He brought the taller man’s hands to rest around his neck and cupped his jaw, realizing for the first time how much lighter his eyes had gotten over the years.  “Not this time,” he assured, leaning up to bridge the gap between them with a deep kiss that should have happened years earlier.  

Richie nearly fell backward at the sudden force.  He let his hands weave into his neatly coiffed hair and disheveled it in a way he’d wanted to for ages.  He’d forgotten so much but now... Now, he was sure he’d remember this forever, not that he planned on having to.  There’d be time.  So much time.  But for the time being, this would have to wait.  When he reopened his eyes and took him in, he realized something off.  “Were you on your tippy-toes, Eds?” he asked, laughing gently.

With an abrupt sigh, Eddie rolled his eyes and gave him a light shove.  “Oh, shut up,” he laughed, pulling him in again by the edges of his shirt and kissed him once more.  He smiled against his lips, despite himself, and muttered “Asshole.”

“I mean, it's cute,” Richie said, straightening up and letting his hands fall to the small of his back, “you have to reach for your prize.”  He puffed out his shoulders dramatically like he was some sort of amalgamation of Prince Charming and Superman all wrapped into one.

“Fuck you,” he said, pushing off of him and starting to, with newfound confidence, walk back to where the rest of the Losers were fighting a much more tactile set of fears.  “And don’t call me ‘Eds,’“ he called over his shoulder.

Richie let his gaze linger on Eddie a little longer than he’d ever done so intentionally, willing his memory to cling to every last inch of him.  Then, he started walking slowly behind him.  His stomach formed a tight knot as his mind settled on what they were about to do.

Before they reached the mouth of the tunnel, Eddie paused for a moment, letting Richie pass him.  “Hey, wait,” he called.  Despite the chill coursing over him, he realized there was something he hadn’t really said.

“What?” Richie asked, turning back to face him.

Eddie reached his hand for him and laced their fingers together, marveling at how right it felt.  “I love you, too.”  He smiled up at Richie and wrapped his free arm up around his neck, breathing him in.  Richie pressed his cheek against the top of his head.  Neither wanted to admit the overwhelming dread they were holding in.  At least dread wasn’t fear.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Richie heard a voice in the back of his mind.  It was Eddie, when they were young.  They were standing in the middle of the road in front of the house at 29 Neibolt Street two weeks before Georgie disappeared.  Bill had insisted on a hybrid game of Truth or Dare and Ding Dong Ditch, bored of their normal antics.  Stanley had already had his turn, having to ditch from the charred house on Harris Avenue.  He sat leaning against the handlebars of his bike and watched smugly as Eddie made his way up the path.  He got about halfway to the door and froze, staring at an upstairs window.  “This is fucking insane! I'm not staying here another minute.”  He turned around and hopped back on his bike, sending a booming “Fuck you guys!” over his shoulder.

“Hey, Eddie, wait up!” Richie called to him and sped off in pursuit, laughing a little at his friend.  After all, it was just a house.  

It was just a house.

It was just a house that led to the center of Derry’s sewer system.  It was just a house that was possessed by an evil shape-shifting clown.  It was just a house where they kept having ridiculous near-death experiences.  It was just a house where Pennywise had nearly taken Richie with the deadlights just moments prior.  It was just a house where Eddie had mustered up his courage and freed him from the grasp of it.  It was just a house where the fucking clown had impaled Eddie, spraying his blood all over Richie.

“Richie,” Eddie groaned, falling onto his side with a thud.

Clamoring to be next to him, not even noticing the amount of blood that had been spilled onto him, he started trying to put pressure on the gaping wound in the center of his chest.  “Ed!”  He scooted closer, taking the man in his arms, shaking, trying desperately not to make things worse.

A shaky breath carried out his name.  “Richie...”  His hands searched to grasp onto his shirt.  He clung to Richie, as though it would keep him.  

Tears fell quickly from Richie’s stunned eyes.  “Eds, it’s okay.  I’m here.  I’ve got you,” he said.  He appraised the wound for a moment and looked up at his friends for a moment, pleading for one of them to say it wasn’t that bad; that everything would be fine.  “You’re alright.  We’re gonna get you out of here.”  He stared at the pooling blood under his hands and ignored it.

That was the key, wasn’t it?  If he believed that Eddie would be okay, he would be.  If he ignored it, it was simply a trick.  It was one of Pennywise’s mind games.  It was nothing.  They’d get him out of here.  They had to.

“I got him, Richie.  I- I got him,” he stammered, as a drop of blood began to form at the corner of his mouth.  

Richie smiled, trying his best not to let his expression show even a trace of the panic that was building in his chest.  There was nothing any of them could do for him, at least not down here.  “You did, Eds.  You got him good.”  

Every breath Eddie took seemed to be more shallow and more pained than the last.  They had to get him out of here.  Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek fondly, forcing him to stay focused on him with an encouraging nod.  “Now, let’s get you moving.”  

Eddie groaned with effort but couldn’t do much to get himself off the ground.  Richie slid himself under his arm and moved to act as a crutch.  “Bill, help me out here.”  Their friend stared at them, unmoved, paralyzed by the shock of how everything had unfolded.  He held a little tighter to a sobbing Bev but didn’t so much as acknowledge that he was being called for.  Richie shook his head and looked up at the next person.  “Ben?”  No response but a pitiful shake of his head.  Richie couldn’t understand why no one would help him.  He shot a pleading stare at Mike who steeled his jaw and pawed at his eyes.  He turned back to him and let his hands linger a little too long, a little too gently.  “Alright, Eds, on the count of three,” he said and leaned down to let him grip tightly around his neck.

“Don’t call me Eds, fuckface,” he whispered.  Richie gave a soft laugh and dug his hands into the back of Eddie’s shirt.  

Eddie knew, deep down, that he wasn’t going to make it out of this cave, but he wouldn’t let Richie think he was giving up.  In reality, he just wanted him to hold him until he was gone.  He supposed he would take what he could.  He wrapped his arms around him in as much of a hug as he could.  Eddie pressed his face into Richie’s neck and took a deep breath.  He nodded and made a soft noise that Richie took to mean “I’m ready.”

Richie took a deep breath and said, as confidently as he could, “Alright.  One... Two...”

From behind him, a shrill voice teased along “One... Two...”

Pennywise.  It was still alive.  He could vaguely hear his friends screaming as the clown sprung to life “Shit," he hissed, trying desperately to wrench him from the ground so they could make their getaway.

“Shit is right, Richie," the old clown sing-songed. "You want all your little friends to find out what you’re hiding?" He twitched his fingers toward the pair and then continued to extend until they were nearly touching Richie.  He stumbled back, maneuvering Eddie just out of the clown’s reach and scrambled in front of him.  "What’s that behind your back?  The boyfriend you’ll never get to have?”

Regaining his focus on the moment, Richie stood and chased the elongated fingers to the hand to which they belonged.  “Listen here you fucking pile of antique used colostomy bags,” he yelled, “there is nothing you can say to me that will make me think you’re anything but an intergalactic crybaby!”  As he landed the last word of the sentence, the clown began to take the form of a giant baby.  

As the group’s insults grew, the being shrunk and they realized the power of their words.  The smaller they could make him, the more likely it was that they’d win.  They believed they could and they did.  When they’d finally turned the little shit into the tiniest thing they could, Eddie and Bill reached in together and tore out his shriveled, still-beating heart.  One by one, the Losers hands joined together and they crushed the core of It’s being until finally, they’d won.  

Richie turned back to face Eddie and tell him they’d done it; that Pennywise was gone forever.  It hadn’t all been for nothing.  He went to call out his name, but the word stuck in his throat at the sight of his vacant, unfocused stare and still chest.  Richie ran the few steps to his side and slammed to his knees, putting pressure on the wound that had stopped bleeding.  He grasped desperately at Eddie’s shirt, his face, his hair, he shook him a little, trying to rouse him.  Even as Bev kneeled behind him, trying to make him see reason, his hearing swirled to nothing.  All he could focus on was the pattern of his own breathing, his own heartbeat, and the search for any sign of that on Eddie.  Tears made his vision swim.  Once more, he thought to himself that they should have split right away.

Just like that, he was in The Derry Townhouse with Eddie, safe and fleeing to anywhere that Pennywise wasn’t.  Richie peeked his head out of his room into the hallway and let his voice carry across into his friend’s room.  “You got everything?” he asked.  Ever since Mike had made his reasons for bringing them all back to this place they hadn’t even remembered existed until the day before, the group had been in panic mode.  They were all scrambling to head back to the lives they’d made for themselves in Anywhere But Derry.  For whatever reason, he and Eddie had clung to one another, even then.  They were remembering being close.  There was tension between them.  Something unspoken, maybe even when they were kids.  

“I think so,” Eddie called back to him amidst the whir of zippers and the thudding of luggage.  

“Alright,” he called, heading down the stairs with his duffel and laptop slung over his shoulders, spinning the keys to his rental car in his hand.  “Autobots, roll out!”

Eddie took one last lap of his room to make sure he had everything.  He patted down his pockets and made a mental check.  “Keys?  No keys, took a cab, leaving with Richie,” a curious smile tugged at his mouth as he said the name.  He paused, stricken by the reaction but he didn’t take the time to analyze that.  “Wallet, phone, inhaler, bags...”  He took a deep breath and gathered his belongings.  For just the slightest of moments, he stopped and acknowledged the rushing of his blood away from his stomach accompanied by a spike of adrenaline.  Butterflies.  His fight or flight mode was on high and that was the only reason for it.  There was nothing else that could possibly be making him panic.  Unless he was, as he suspected, sensitive to gluten and it wasn’t nerves but too much Chinese food.

“Rápido, Eduardo. Ándale, ándale!” Richie called, knocking on the downstairs wall and pulling him from his mental quicksand.

Forcing himself from the memory, Richie broke into sobs, burying his face into Eddie’s chest.  As the rest of his friends fought to pull him to his feet, he begged to take him with them; not to leave him down in the sewers in the dark.  As soon as he thought he’d convinced them, the chamber began to shudder and crumble.  Richie found himself glued to the spot.  He couldn’t leave him.  He couldn’t.  They were supposed to leave together.  He’d just admitted that he loved him.  After all these years, he was supposed to have a chance to finally see... no.  No, if this was where Eddie was going to stay, this was where Richie was going to stay, too.  And he would have, too, if the other four hadn’t banded together to force him to move.  They ran along the tunnels and up out of the cistern into the house on Neibolt and through the doors just in time for the entire building to collapse in on itself, vanishing into the ground and sealing Eddie in with the source of generations of suffering.  As the house began to cave, so, too, did Richie’s will to go on.  He lunged to go back in but was restrained by Ben and Mike until his body gave way.  He strained and scratched and kicked until he couldn’t find the strength to do it anymore.  He dropped to the ground and screamed Eddie’s name until his throat was raw.  It was no use.  He was gone.  It was over.  

Eventually, the Losers managed to get themselves together enough to walk to the quarry and clean themselves off.  As the group waded in the cool water, Richie focused on the blood all over him- had it really been so much?  How could he have thought, even for a moment, that a person could survive all of that?  As he focused on his glasses, he turned to make a snide remark about the germs to Eddie and realized, once more, that the blood was his.  He wouldn’t be able to hear the quip.  The survivors merged in on each other, clinging together for strength.  

A few days later, Richie made one more stop on the way out of Derry.  He put the mustang in park and eased out onto the little covered bridge over the creek in the woods.  He strode along the barricade, looking at years of graffitied carvings, each a testament to a love that had encountered Derry’s unique brand of torture.  He wondered how many of the couples were still together; if any of them had been torn apart by Pennywise.  

Finally, he stopped and gave a bittersweet smile as he saw what he was looking for.  A jagged R + E.  Small, vague, but there nevertheless.  27 years later and his innocent pining had left an impact.  Of course, it had.  Love always leaves an impact, whether you’re 12 or pushing 40.  

“I was gonna let you die!” echoed Eddie’s voice in Richie’s head for the millionth time since the tunnels.  It had become almost a taunt.

“You should have,” Richie whispered, lowering to his knees and resting his head on the railing.  “You should have let me die. We all still fucking remember and you're not here.”  The memories weren’t fading.  Last time, as soon as they’d gotten out, things got fuzzy.  By the time they made their blood pact, he could hardly remember the specifics of what had happened.  This time, though... This time, he could still remember every moment.  Every single one.  Specifically, though, the warmth of Eddie’s kiss and the blank stare he wore in death haunted his every thought since.  “If you were gonna die, you should have let me die, too, he said.

Richie took his old pocket knife out of his pocket and flipped it open, considering it for a moment.   He tested the tip against his hand and watched as blood beaded at the tip.  It would be so easy, he thought, to just drag the blade against his wrists and throw himself into the water.  Then, he could be with Eddie again.  Closing his eyes, he blinked out a few hot tears, then covered his face in his hands.  As much as he didn’t want to live life in a world where Eddie wasn’t, he could just imagine the look on his face if, after everything they’d gone through, he appeared in the afterlife having put himself there.  He wiped the tears from his eyes and refocused on what he’d come all the way out here to do.

Retracing the letters, he deepened the markings, ensuring that, on some level, they’d be able to stay together for posterity.  The set of freshly carved initials in weathered old wood was not a fair proxy for the love they’d never had the chance to share, but at least it was out there as proof that, no matter what happened from that moment forward, that Richie Tozier loved Eddie Kaspbrak.  

#reddie #adult richie #adult eddie #richie tozier #eddie kasbrak #it #it chap 2 #stephen king's it #my hand slipped #this hurted

[theforgottendaydreamer]

For the ask game: Any number that can be divided by three and ;)

wow, ok, don’t trust in my maths knowlegde like that  :’)

3) if your significant other smoked pot, would you care? 

No, of course not. A healthy amount of pot may be good, I’d happily try it too!

6) you’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

My demons. Oh, and a couple of friends too, hopefully (they never met, but they’d get along well, I’m sure).

9) I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

You lost the bet, give me my money back now >:)

12) Do you like hickeys?

They aren’t aesthetically pleasing, in my opinion, but the rush of adrenaline you feel when you give/receive one is worth it.

15) Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Uh, yeah, pretty much!! 

18) When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Some minutes ago :D

21) is anyone else in the room with you?

Yeah, my sister (who’s taking a nap)

24) is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

Yes, too many to handle.

27) do people ever call you by your last name?

Some do, but not too many. Like, three people at most.

30) would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Yes, I’d be jealous because I haven’t smooched in a while :’(

33) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

A guy who’s two years older than me, yeah. It was just a peck on the lips and I was only 14 and not out of the closet yet. Doesn’t count.

36) Do you have any summer plans yet?

Studying, working and hanging out with my bros.

39) do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Too many, and I will never tell them to anyone.

42) are you available?

Emotionally? Yes, but actually no. I mean, I want a relationship but all I do is annoy people with my problems and burden them with my useless existence, so I’m glad I’m single, for people’s sake.

45) Do you believe exes can be friends?

Hell yeah! Not all of them, but those with whom you’ve shared the most experiences, probably.

48) Did you ever lose a best friend?

As in, they died, or as in we fought? ‘Cause, if it comes to the latter, yes. Twice. One hated that I was bi (I thought I was bi when I was in middle school. Discovering my sexuality and gender identity was a looong journey, still is). The other friend hated that I needed to be reassured every now and then (things like “I’m here for you”, “do you need to talk?”). Both dead to me, even if I miss the second one a lot some days.

51) Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

I kissed a fellow actress in a play, does she count as kiss? If so, no, she didn’t see me cry. If we are talking about a real kiss, then yes, that person has seen me cry multiple times.

54) Did you get any compliments today?

“you look well-rested today, sweety” -my mom

57) Are most of your friends guys or girls?

I have no idea, honestly. I have many friends of all gender identities, I don’t know the numbers...

60) Have you ever played spin the bottle?

Hell yeah I did, that’s how I got my first kiss (when I was 13), duh

63) What’s the last movie you saw?

Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction”, a couple of nights ago. I love that movie so much that I watch it at least once a month :D

66) is the last person you kissed younger than you?

The actress I talked about earlier is one year older, the other person in a few months younger than me.

69) Picture of yourself?

(First of all, sixty-nine hehe) I’d rather not reveal my identity here on the wildest amd craziest website of all, but huh... Tall, rather slim, dark hair, dark eyes and heavy dark circles under them, big nose ^-^”

72) What do you most like about making out?

Bold of you assume I make out. I did, but it’s been a while :’( but huh, I’m a sucker for thirsty kisses and squeezing booties (and having mine squeezed) o////o 

75) What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Huh, tough question. The eyes and the mouth, mostly? I don’t really care much about the rest. The girl I like can be of any shape and size, of any color and can dress how she wants; I don’t mind :D I do like soft booties and boobs (big or small, I don’t care) though... Can I say that? 

78) Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope, one-night-stands scare me...

81) Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

One guy did, two years ago (sorry bruh) and then my ex gf as well :D I had a crush on her but I was too shy, and then she confessed to me :D she also cheated on me later on though so I’m not sure that her confessing to me was good...

84) Last time you slow danced with someone?

I can’t dance and nobody ever wanted to slow dance with me :’(

87) What is your astrological sign?

Aries, I was born at the beginning of April.

90) Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

I did, and a whole year later, actually. And it was hell. I hate myself 'cause I really tried to go back to the girl that emotionally abused me :’) I’m an idiot, but thankfully we haven’t spoken since 2018.

93) what physical trait do you look for in a potential interest?

Again, I don’t have any preference. I  especially like tiny, freckled redheads, but physical appearance is secondary for me. Like, I never had a gf with those traits, so I’m really not “picky” at all (still,I think there’s nothing wrong with having preferences)

96) Have you ever kissed two people in one day?

Yeah, I was at a party with my HS classmates and we did a bunch of silly games and I made out with, like, five people (all close friends)... Never put thirty tipsy teenagers together.

99) Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I’ve had the same crush since summer 2018, does that count as being deeply in love?

102) Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I don’t know, I’ve never been the first to make a move... I wanted to ask my crush out (as friends, for now) before lockdown, but she doesn’t have social media and I don’t feel brave enough to text her on whatsapp something like “hey, how are you??”. Especially since we haven’t talked since November (she told me I had “big lesbo energy” and I was really tempted to just kiss her there in the middle of the street). Someone up there doesn’t want me to shoot my shot.

105) if a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew that he/she was in a relationship, would you go for it?

I’d tell her “break up with the other person first, then we can talk about it and see eventually if we can maybe hang out”. I don’t like cheaters. I cheated once after my ex cheated on m; it wasn’t revenge, and there was no sex involved. Just looks and hand-holding. It was flirting more than cheating, and I hated myself for it. It wasn’t right to my ex nor to the other girl. So, yeah, no flirting with people in relationships for me, thanks.

108) Have you kissed more than five people since the start of 2012?

Kisses that didn’t mean anything, yeah. Kisses that meant something, I’m not sure. I’ve been with three people since 2012, so no, I guess.

111) Do you know who’ll you kiss next?

Does kissing my parents on the cheek count? If so, them. If not... I don’t know. My crush, hopefully?

114) Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

A hundred times serious relationships, absolutely!

117) Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

Oh! Uhm... Then, how are you really? 

-

thank you SO much, @theark-ofvoid 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Feel free to ask me more here

[cherchezlafemme]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes i live with them and i love my parents but i’m closer to my mother but i wish i was closer to my father too but i don’t know how to interact with him anymore

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? probably marie

03: Do you regret anything? yes. right now it’s probably going to be chugging that vodka but we’ll see!

04: Are you insecure? not particularly. i don’t know what this question means. i am insecure about my inner calves and fingernails and how i smell and my intelligence and cadence. 

05: What is your relationship status? i’m single

06: How do you want to die? mysteriously, but it ends up being completely mundane

07: What did you last eat? fried rice

08: Played any sports? NO. 

09: Do you bite your nails? i used to but going from 5th grade into 6th grade i stopped myself.

10: When was your last physical fight? i’ve never been in one

11: Do you like someone? no -_- 

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? i don’t think so

14: Do you miss someone? GOD. so many people. i miss naomi so much lol

15: Have any pets? yes. marie, apollo, and bradley are my three cats and oliver and daisy are my dogs.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? drunk! lol. also neutral. 

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? no. 

18: Are you scared of spiders? i think so

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? it depends on when i would go back to,  but no.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? according to google, snogged means, “kiss and caress amorously.” it was in november lol ok it was with a man OK. it was so embarrassing i’m so cringey.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? i’m living it bro. getting drunk on saturday and then watching *********** videos until i get tired and falling asleep. then on sunday, tomorrow, i think i will wash the dishes in the sink and organize the top of my closet. 

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? not right now and up to three

23: Do you have piercings? How many? one on each earlobe. 

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? world history, 11th grade first semester and the computer class i took like 3 years ago,

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? everyone

26: What are you craving right now? this is nsfw but literally i want a girl to fuck me -_-

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? no lol

28: Have you ever been cheated on? no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? no

30: What’s irritating you right now? nothing! feeling okay,

31: Does somebody love you? my family and friends

32: What is your favorite color? pink

33: Do you have trust issues? i don’t think so.

34: Who/what was your last dream about? city

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? bro idk

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? this is too complex a question for my idiot ass so idk

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? neither EXCEPT. sometimes forgetting things because of ADHD lol

38: Is this year the best year of your life? it’s january 4th it’s too early to tell

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 22

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no

51: Favourite food? right now it’s the patty of unknown vegetables i’m eating now. idk what it’s called though.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? it’s chemicals

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watch [REDACTED] videos because i am just going through somethingn rn

54: Is cheating ever okay? idk

55: Are you mean? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1nGMgaukcE i’m not nice  by mgmt, it’s a fo4 specific song when you’re at abernathy farm

56: How many people have you fist fought? none

57: Do you believe in true love? yes

58: Favourite weather? sunny, warm

59: Do you like the snow? yes, in moderation

60: Do you wanna get married? YES

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? no lol. i am a 23 year old “”woman”””

62: What makes you happy? ALCOHOL. not really. the color pink and not being depressed

63: Would you change your name? dude i am thinking of names other than vera or norman all the time. so yes.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? yes since he lives like 4 hours away and also he is Very bad at texting back and also i don’t really know him LOL. 

65: Your best friend of ANOTHER GENDER ikes you, what do you do? idk. maybe fuck them to see how it is but not get in a relationship lol

66: Do you have a friend of ANOTHER GENDER who you can act your complete self around? no

67: Who was the last person of ANOTHER GENDER you talked to? my dad i guess

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? carolina lol

69: Do you believe in soulmates? yes

70: Is there anyone you would die for? probably not

#personal #drunk blogging #alcohol #wow i am WAY more drunker than i expected lol

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

99 Question Tag

@your-basket-case tagged me - thank you so much dear!!! I'm a giant sucker for tag games, so here. WE. GO.

1.DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

Actually it's always half open because I need that air to circulate hah!

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?

Only if I like the smell.

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

Tucked in! How can you sleep with sheets tucked out omg?

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?

I WISH

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT-NOTES?

Hm not really. I usually keep a big notebook/notepad on my desk and I fill it with things to remember, drafts, etc

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?

We don't have as a big coupon culture here in Italy as it happens to be in America but sometimes I do!

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?

Bear.

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?

No but I wish I had them!

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?

For selfies yes, for other pictures not so much.

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?

I have to many, honestly, but I guess Cancelled Culture and psycho stans are the biggest at the moment.

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?

Maybe.

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?

Yes. Traumatising experience.

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?

You insane? I'm too scared of pooping in the woods.

14. I think I deleted this question on accident.

Lost in time and spaaace!

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?

Chewing pens and pencils? In this economy?

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?

3 with my imaginary lover.

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?

I think it's an European King sized but I'm not 100% sure. I WANT THE CEASAR ONE.

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?

Hm, I'm still losing my mind over "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier but I just discovered the new James Blake's album and that, as a whole, is a big mood for this week as well.

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?

Bitch yes?

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?

Sometimes.

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?

Hm, nothing comes to my mind at the moment.

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?

I can't tell you. It wouldn't be hidden anymore although:

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?

Diet coke or water because I'm too broke for wine.

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?

Nothing. I die like men.

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Sushi, pizza, pierogi, carbonara, tomato & corn salad, fried mozzarella, tiramisù.

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?

Stardust, Dead Poets Society, Mean Girls, Little Miss Sunshine

27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?

A guy that broke my heart last year.

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?

Yes!

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?

If I wasn't an ugly potato... yes.

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?

2 years ago, I think.

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?

Who do you think I am? A redneck?

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?

No.

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?

Rye bread + thin spread of cream cheese + lettuce + thin slices of chicken or smoked ham + tomatoes + red onion + pickled artichoke

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?

Granola. Dry. Straight from your hand as if you're a starving horse in disguise.

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?

00:00-01:00AM

37. ARE YOU LAZY?

I'm not lazy. I procrastinate.

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?

Back in time Halloween wasn't a thing in Poland, so unfortunately I didn't dress up.

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?

I'M A HORSE.

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?

3: Italian, Polish and English

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?

Nein, but I'd like to get Wired subscription.

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?

What are even Lincoln Logs... Did Lincoln harvest the logs himself, though?

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?

Yes and no. Depends on the situation.

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?

My tit.

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?

Not anymore.

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?

Not really. But if I find myself on the edge of something high without a fence, I'll probably panic and casually fall down.

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?

Do I sing? No. I PERFORM.

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?

Only when I'm home alone.

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?

Yeah, sometimes when the inspiration and the right bop kick in.

50. EVER USED A GUN?

A glue gun.

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?

Does the mugshot for the drivers licence count?

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?

Depends.

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?

The concept by itself isn't stressful. My family tends to ruin it with the overdramatic stress.

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?

BITCH THAT'S MY MOTHERLAND'S MEAL WE SNIFF THAT SHIT LIKE COCAINE.

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?

Apple, rhubarb, pear.

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?

Doctor, fashion designer, archeologist, paleonthologist...

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?

Yes. I've had paranormal experiences and I'm still not over it.

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?

Very often.

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

No. I die like men.

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

Yes!

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?

I don't have any but I would like to wear one of those super cozy and soft ones!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?

Hmm, depends. Now I'm wearing a hoodie, leggings and socks because it's cold as fuck.

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?

I'm pretty sure it was DeMono, a Polish band. I casually saw them with my parents when we were on holiday back in 1997.

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?

I'M NOT AMERICAN BITCH. TESCO.

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?

Both actually!

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?

What the fuck are FRITOS? I've never tried them, so I can't answer lol!

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?

BOTH. I'm a sucker for NUTS.

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?

Of what now? Is this another American thing I'm not aware of because of my ancient and unbothered European nature?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?

Nein!

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?

I don't care, really. I do care about them doing what they love and want to do. If they'll be happy about it, so will I :')

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?

Sí, señor!

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?

We don't have this in Europe asdfkgkf

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?

Kind of.

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?

I have regular cd's but I would love to start a vinyl record collection.

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?

Not yet!

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?

I used to but I don't do that anymore.

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

Yes but nobody loved me back.

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?

QUEEN. On the more possible side: Andrea Boccelli, The Struts, George Ezra, MORE HOZIER, The Killers, Arctic Monkeys... The list goes on!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?

HOZIER. It was a magical experience, I love him so much, I want to cry 😭♥️

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?

Both.

81. TEA OR COFFEE?

Tea.

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?

Both.

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?

Avarage just so I don't die sucked into the abyss.

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?

Wait, people CAN'T do that? What dysfunction do you have? It's literally so easy?

85. ARE YOU PATIENT?

Yes, very much but in the last couple of years I've started slowly losing my shit in certain situations.

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?

Band.

87. EVER WON A CONTEST?

No. I'm an avarage bitch that thinks she's more than that but the truth is that I'm not a winner.

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?

Does the surgery on my toe count?

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?

BLACK

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?

Not yet but I will learn at some point!

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?

Living room.

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

If I meet the love of my life then yes. The bar is too high, though, so I'm not sure if that's gonna happen haha!

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

/

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?

His name was William and that was the most embarrassing moment of my life because a bitch that considered herself as my "friend" told everybody that I had a crush on him. When he got to know it, he basically humiliated me in front of the entire clique, if not the whole school. I hate him ever since and it's been already 10 years or so.

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?

No.

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

My dog is my son.

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?

Kids? In this economy? On this planet? Just for my liking? Absolutely fucking not. That would be a crime and absolute torture for them and I don't want them to suffer as I do.

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

Black, emerald green, gold, yellow, purple.

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?

Freddie Mercury.

I tag: @santonicababy, @chaotic-pansexual, @songparade, @fossa-poplitea and everybody else who wants to do this! :’D

#tag thingy #long post

[ace-pervert]

Please answer all 70 questions, thanks and have fun!

01:

Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I do

02:

Who did you last say “I love you” to?Probably one of my grandparents.

03:

Do you regret anything?I regret a lot of things. One of them being that I honestly regret not coming out of the closet to my best friend when I was 15,

04:

Are you insecure?i’m incredibly insecure

05:

What is your relationship status?Single.....

06:

How do you want to die?In my sleep, or sacrificing myself

07:

What did you last eat?pancakes

08:

Played any sports?No

09:

Do you bite your nails?No

10:

When was your last physical fight?Sparred a bit with my dad a few days ago

11:

Do you like someone?Yes but he doesnt like me. And since the obessesive end of my attraction only focuses on one person at a time, I wont be over it untill attraction is focused on someone else.

12:

Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?i honestly dont know

13:

Do you hate anyone at the moment?Eh no. Annoyed maybe. Envy definitly

14:

Do you miss someone?My cousin who I havent seen in almost six years.

15:

Have any pets?No. But I used to have guinea pigs

16:

How exactly are you feeling at the moment?Tired. Nervous

17:

Ever made out in the bathroom?Never made out

18:

Are you scared of spiders?No

19:

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?Depends on when and where.

20:

Where was the last place you snogged someone?Never snogged

21:

What are your plans for this weekend?Got no plans

22:

Do you want to have kids? How many?One or two

23:

Do you have piercings? How many?None.

24:

What is/are/were your best subject(s)?Math and English (im dutch so the last one was taught like french is taught to Americans. And since my dads American i’m bilingual and so it was insanely easy)

25:

Do you miss anyone from your past?Several. But mostly a guy I flirted with for a while who pulled something later on that still pisses me off a little. But I still care for him  even in spite of that so ummmmm its complicated.

26:

What are you craving right now?Chocolate mousse

27:

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?Not that I know of

28:

Have you ever been cheated on?No. But I think I have been in the homewrecker role of an emotional affair. It ended well predictably. Really cliche. Still not ovet it despite it being almost a year since it ended.

29:

Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?Never had one of those.

30:

What’s irritating you right now?Sleeping only 5 and a half hours a night.

31:

Does somebody love you?Not in that way. Even though its something I desperately want

32:

What is your favourite color?Green

33:

Do you have trust issues?Big ones.

34:

Who/what was your last dream about?Either space travel, a guy I like but doesnt like me, or a mix of both.

35:

Who was the last person you cried in front of?My parents.

36:

Do you give out second chances too easily?No....ok yes but I dont see them as chances, since I dont play that game.

37:

Is it easier to forgive or forget?Both are hard. Which is harder depends on the nature of the event thatr needs to be forgiven or forgotten

38:

Is this year the best year of your life?Absolutely not. In all honesty the whole article 13 thing combined with a few other things has left me feeling less than good.

39:

How old were you when you had your first kiss?Ill let you know whe it happens

40:

Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Yes I once swam naked in my grandparents pool in Florida

51:

Favourite food?Depends on my mood.

52:

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?Not sure.

53:

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?Same thing I do every night. read a bit

54:

Is cheating ever okay?No, but I don’t think cheaters should be demonized, nor should homewreckers for obvious reasons

55:

Are you mean?I can be.

56:

How many people have you fist fought?none

57:

Do you believe in true love?I firmly believe in it. I’m just not sure it’ll happen to me.

58:

Favourite weather?Cloudy, a bit chilly

59:

Do you like the snow?Snow yes. Sludge no

60:

Do you wanna get married?Already know what kind of ring I want, and the suit I want to wear. Now all I need is a (most likely) A groom

61:

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?Yes. So if anyones interrested in me, please do so.

62:

What makes you happy?Talking to people. listening to music. porn. anything romantic. Getting hit on.

63:

Would you change your name?Only if I felt I had to to survive. Or if I got married to a man.

64:

Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?Never been kissed.

65:

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Politely tell them that i’m not interrested in them in that way, and that if they really feel that way I don’t think we should be friends. I honesly dont believe people can be friends if romantic feelings are involved.

66:

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?No. Though I don’t really have a friend I can be myself around. Its something i’m trying to work on

67:

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?My mother.

68:

Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Don’t remember I tend to go deep really quickly.

69:

Do you believe in soulmates?Yes, but i’m not sure if ill find mine this life.

70:

Is there anyone you would die for?Yes but ironically if I get to close to him, I might end up getting hurt (dont worry its nothing abusive its just a one sided attraction i’m slowly getting over)

[actualltr4sh]

one more and then i’m done lmao

1. How many pairs of shoes do you own? : idk. like 20 maybe. i wear like five though.

2. Do you have a bucket list and what’s on it?: just to publish my books honestly.

3. What would be the tile of a book about your life? as of right now, “pieces in print.”

4. Do you wear makeup? Why/why not?: takes a long time to learn how to do it and be good at it, takes a long time to DO it, and then you can’t touch your face. i’m cool.

5. Do you feel comfortable in your body: i used to. but then i started gaining weight and now i’m a liiiiiiittle pudgy. so i feel weird sometimes.

6. What is your best quality?: i’m funny. that’s really all i’ve got these days.

7. Do you have any secrets?: shit probably.

8. Do you have any bad habits?: probably. i wish people pointed them out to me more. i think i’m condescending as fuck though.

9. Do you have any scars?: yep. i keep covering them up with tattoos though.

10. What’s your relationship with your family like?: it’s getting better with time.

11. Who was your first kiss with?: deangelo northern. i was like 12 or 13 lmao.

12. What was your last relationship like?: it was so fucking perfect for like 6 months straight and then it was hellfire for 3 months and then it was confusing for another 3 and then he left lmfao.

13. Share a story about your childhood: i hid in closets and read books and watched movies on my portable dvd player. thats the kid i was LMAO.

14. Share a relationship story: about a year ago, my ex and i found this shitty little diner in this outlet mall once, to which we eventually started going pretty regularly. but, the first time we went was the best. we found this super weird store that sold confederate flags and swords and incense and just the weirdest combination of stuff. then we walked around the mall some more, ended up in a sears talking about which beds we liked, which fridges were the best, and what sort of stoves we’d want. it’s one of my favorite days.

15. Do you have any ‘good luck’ charms?: i have a few bracelets i never take off. but idk about luck.

16. What motivates you in life?: fucking nothing lmfao.

17. How do you deal with criticism?: i wish i got it more!! 

18. Do you have any phobias?: falling in the oven. large bodies of water. idk.

19. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?: this is always a question lmao. 9 piercings and 5 tats.

20. Have you ever fallen in life?: currently.

21. What is your favourite type of weather?: the mid shit. so spring cus it’s in the middle and fall cus same.

22. Are you scared of death?: not scared of death itself.. i have a poem called ‘sweet release’ LMAO. but i am afraid of the actual dying. like i don’t want that shit to be terrible.

23. Do you have any Tumblr friends?: not reaaaaallly. i know some people fuck with my blog and i fuck with theirs lmao.

24. What blogs do you recommend?: not mine that’s for sure lmfao.

25. How many relationships have you been in?: one and a half LMAO. my best friend and i tried to date and then halfway through it turned out to be a mess. he was my first love though. the other one was serious. he was the first person i saw the rest of my life with.

26. Do you believe in ghosts?: yop.

27. When was the last time you cried?: the other night i was so drunk and was crying but i don’t remember why LMAO.

28. What time do usually go to sleep?: anytime between 10-12 is fair game.

29. Where are your favourite places to shop?: used to be zumiez. idk anymore. pretty little thing is a go often.

30. What was the best birthday present you ever received?: this year. everyone i loved was in one room. i loved it.

31. What was the best Christmas present you ever received?: when i was like 10 i got a DS. last year i got my playstation.

#ok #im done LMAO #about me

[headoverhiddles]

Hidden [Pennywise x Reader Smut]

Your little brother Eddie has been telling you about a killer clown stalking him and his friends. You have to keep your mouth shut that you know that clown better than anyone...

Tonight, you find him watching you from your closet as you call his name.

Warnings: Biting, rough sex, rough kissing, voyeurism, exhibitionism. 

You settle in.

It had been a very long day on campus for you, full of people and projects you didn't want to deal with... it was a relief to get home and find out Eddie had gone over to Bill's for a sleepover with the rest of their friends. You loved Eddie- more than the world, and wanted nothing more than to protect him; but it could get trying at times. Your brother had been bothering you every day lately about the "killer clown who all of his friends keep seeing", and every time he came to you in hysterics, you had to tell him it wasn't real... only to retire to your bedroom and get absolutely wrecked by said killer clown.

God, you were such a hypocrite.

You had met Pennywise a month ago on a jog, when the missing children were starting to turn up- you remembered hearing the legends, but didn't believe there even was a curse on the town. Turns out, you were right - which led to a conversation through a storm drain, you being invited down this storm drain with the clown, you refusing, and him basically dragging you down there in your sleep. So, you two had harbored something of a... companionship, since then.

All this aside, you made Pennywise solemnly promise not to touch Eddie, or his friends (especially not Richie- your brother had a thing for him, and if anything ever happened to the little shit, you wouldn't hear the end of it.) There ended up being a solid compromise. Penny was allowed to scare the wits out of Eddie and his friends, just never lay a finger on them; if he ever did, he'd have to find himself a new human to satisfy himself with, who he insists constantly is impossible to find. You still find it hard to believe you had originally never been able to see the clown-- or whatever he was. You really did just think Eddie's anxiety was getting the better of him, as a side effect of your mother being taken away. Now that Eddie lived with you and you only, you had guessed things would be hard for him at first... Evidently, Penny was real. Very real.

You make yourself a light dinner, take a long, hot bath while watching back to back new episodes of Full House (as your little brother's not here to complain about it), and head to bed. As you get under your covers though, your fingers brush over your panties, the small touch eliciting a reaction from your body.

It had been a couple of weeks since you had last seen Pennywise, and he always left you with an insatiable lust whenever you thought of him. It had been a long time, and... you were thinking about him a lot lately. You're sure he wouldn't be mad if you just--

You bite your lip, stifling a moan. Any touch felt amazing right now... it wasn't the same as Penny's gloves, but it would do until you next saw him, which could very well be 27 years, he had so kindly informed you last time.

You brush your panties aside and slide them down one leg, so you can spread your legs further apart and imagine Pennywise spreading them open himself to push in and bury his tongue inside of you.

"Oh yeah," you whisper, "Penny... mmm, Pennywise..."

You open your eyes ever so slightly, and something catches your eye across the room. At the foot of your bed stands the closet door, open only a crack to the looming blackness that fills it-- only, you can see what's in that unnerving darkness.

Yellow eyes, glowing uncontrollably, shine through the crack, watching you intently. He probably means to be stealthy in his creepy staring; you don't have the heart to ruin his fun.

"Penny, touch me," you continue to beg, spreading your legs even wider to give the closet a view of your fingers disappearing into the wet folds of your pussy. His eyes glow a little brighter, and you quiet your gasps enough to listen to his low growling. You continue to give the hidden monster a show, ever so slightly massaging your clit as your other hand comes up to cup your breast.

"I'm so wet for you... I need you to fuck me," you whisper, arching your back and giving your best porn star moans. You hear his growling increase in volume, and wonder how much longer he can stand it.

"That's right... I need your cock, right there, oh god-"

You bite your lip, lifting your leg, and you get closer to your orgasm imagining him drooling all over himself watching you. You close your eyes, and when you open them, you jolt in surprise. His towering 7 foot form is standing right over your bed, drool dripping from his lips. Times like these, he is a little tough to get used to.

Both of his eyes focus on you. Sometimes he attempts to appear innocent, eyes blue and suit all puffy and clean. Tonight, he's abandoned all of that-- he's covered in blood and carnage, and looks every bit the evil clown he is.

"You were calling for me," he states, baring his teeth. You swallow, body heaving, and nod.

"Let me take care of you then," he says, licking his painted red lips, "Let Pennywise g-give you what you need." His voice wavers as he tries to contain his drool by swallowing, and you quirk an eyebrow, giving him an inviting smirk. Without further pause, he launches down over top of you, attacking you with sloppy kisses all down your neck and ripping off your shirt. You shiver as your nipples perk in the night air, but he soon covers you with his heavy clown suit, dragging himself against you. You open your legs up as wife as you can to him, and he reaches into his costume, pulling himself out and trying to shove into you. After a few seconds of the clown thrusting on top of you and thinking he's inside, you help the inept monster out, guiding him to your entrance, and he gives a little shake of his bells as he enters you. After a few minutes of actual thrusting, you feel the pressure build, and release faster than usual as you call his name.

"Yes, yes, ohhh, Pennywise.."

"Good, yes, say it again," he grins.

"Pennywise," you moan, and he comes hard inside of you, pulling out and letting his spending cover your shaking thighs. He kisses your forehead with an unsettling grin, and gets up again, reaching behind him to grab a balloon out of nowhere.

"For you."

"I... I can't," you smile apologetically, "Eddie'll get suspicious if red balloons start turning up all over the house." He nods, and the balloon pops.

"Then, I'll see you soon."

You regard the blood on his clothing, and he holds his large hands up, splaying them out.

"It wasn't any of those Losers... cross my heart and hope to die."

"Glad to hear it," you smirk, "Goodnight, Penny."

"Goodnight, sweet girl." He giggles like a lunatic, and when you blink, he's gone, leaving behind his coppery, candy floss scent. You hope Eddie's having a good night at the Denbrough's... they said something about going to check out Neibolt house the next day or something, which should give your boyfriend a little something to do. As you turn out the light, you smile-- you forgot to close your closet door again, but it gives you a sense of comfort the way it is. You should leave it open, just in case he likes to watch over you while you sleep.

#pennywise #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise the clown #pennywise x reader #reader x pennywise #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård imagine #bill skarsgard x reader #reader x bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard fanfiction #pennywise smut #pennywise fanfiction #pennywise fandom #clown daddy #clownfucker #daddywise #pennywise imagine #pennywise fanfic #it movie 2017

[eldritchsurveys]

125.

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? >> I’ve probably been hugged for a minute or more, but outside of headspace I usually don’t initiate that kind of experience.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? >> Sure, if I had a concept in mind.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? >> Yeah, if I notice I’ve been texted.

Has the last person you texted ever been mad at you before? >> At some point, probably.

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? >> Nope.

How old do you look? >> According to various other people I’ve asked, I look anywhere from 23 to 27 years old.

Do you like movie nights? >> I mean, I like movies and I like watching them at night...

Is there a trampoline in your backyard? >> No backyard.

Does the thought of having children scare you? >> Yes, which is why I wouldn’t actually have any.

Are you nice to everyone? >> No.

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger? >> I tend to be attracted to people older than me, but my primary SO is younger than me, so, you know.

Are you excited for anything happening in the next week? >> We’re going to Chicago on Friday to see Hozier, which should be a good time.

What will you be doing in the next 2 hours? >> I don’t know, maybe poke around on tumblr for a bit or go play more Mass Effect Andromeda.

Who did you talk to on the phone last? >> ---

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? >> That’s the plan.

Think back five months ago, were you single? >> No.

Does anyone call you babe? >> Yes.

Does it make you uncomfortable when you receive a compliment? >> Nope.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? >> Ricky Whittle...? Heh.

Do you have trust issues? >> Eh, I don’t think so. I’ve been given plenty of occasion to develop them, but so far I think I’m just going to be more cautious about the kind of people I let into my life.

Do you like your toes? >> I have no opinion on them. But I just saw the Shameless episode where Frank casually amputated Debbie’s nearly-necrotic toes for her while she was passed out on painkillers and vodka (Liam was supposed to be doing it, but Liam’s like 6 and he passed out from the thought lmao). It was just so funny to me.

When you are home alone at night and hear strange noises, are you afraid someone is going to break in? >> Nah, that’s not usually the thing to cross my mind.

Do you wake up cranky? >> Not usually. It’s most likely to happen if I didn’t get enough sleep.

What is on your wrists right now? >> Nothing.

Are you a beach, country, or city person? >> I like all of these things.

Where do you prefer to sit when you catch the bus? >> The first window seat on the elevated level in the back. If you found a full tube of lipgloss on the ground, would you pick it up and keep it or would you throw it away? >> I wouldn’t do anything with it, most likely.

Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? >> Not usually.

Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you’re out for lunch or dinner? >> I mean, Sparrow’s always on her phone, but I figure that has more to do with ADHD than anything else, so there’s no point in me taking it personally. Could you spend the rest of your life with someone who had bad taste in music? >> I don’t even know what “bad taste in music” means. I respect whatever music anyone likes. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard somebody say recently? >> *shrug* Think about the last person you kissed - was it the very first time that you kissed them? >> Nope. Who is your favourite character from Friends? >> I don’t have one. How would you deal with a significant other who cried all the time? >> I’d be at a complete loss of how to deal with that.  When somebody tells you they’re going to have a shower. Do you automatically picture them naked? >> Depends on who it is. If I’m attracted to them, then you’re damn right I’m gonna picture it at least for a second. Otherwise, nah. When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? >> No. When you have a song stuck in your head, does listening to that song make it go away, or just does it just make it worse? >> Usually that just... refreshes the earworm. Listening to other things usually helps (although sometimes that just changes the earworm to whatever I listened to). Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? >> No. Do you think blondes are stupid, honestly? >> No. Do you love where you live? >> No. Last person you were on the phone with for more than 20 minutes? >> --- Would you go out in public looking like you do now? >> No, I’d change my clothes. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? >> I don’t remember where I got this. So, what do you want for your birthday? >> My birthday isn’t until next May, I’m not thinking that far ahead. Did you sleep alone last night? >> No. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? >> No. Has anyone ever sang to you? >> Yep. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? >> That’s the plan. How was your weekend? >> Last weekend was fine. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? >> No. How do you feel right now? >> Not as tired as I expected to feel. Neutral. Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? >> Yes. Interested in anyone at the moment? >> Yes. If you HAD to kiss someone right now, who would it be? >> --- If you could make your lips bigger, would you? >> No. Did you kiss or hug anyone today? >> Yeah, Can Calah and King Crimson. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? >> No. Have you accidentally sent a text to the wrong person? >> No. Do you reply to all of your texts? >> The ones that require my response, or that I have a reply to, yes. Could you last in a relationship for over a year? >> Yes.

Do you like your name? >> Sure, I like all of them. Who is your most trusted person? >> --- When you like someone are you happy about it? >> I guess? Like, it doesn’t depress me.... Are you happy with life right now? >> I’m happy to be alive. Does the person you like like someone else? >> Sparrow likes Hozier. LMAO

Do you ever feel like someone would be disappointed to see your body or are you comfortable with your body enough where you don’t think that? >> I don’t know how someone else would react to seeing my body. That’s not a predictable thing, everyone has preferences and what-not, so maybe my body would suit some people’s preferences and not suit others’. That doesn’t mean I have a great or a terrible body, it’s just what the individual is into.

What is your favorite flavor of Monster? >> I don’t like Monster.

Have you ever ran from the police? >> No.

Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? >> Yeah.

Do you follow rules or break them? >> I mean, that depends on the rule.

Do you have any trophies? >> No.

Do you work out? >> No.

What does your wallet look like? >> I use a David Bowie coinpurse as a wallet.

Do you have any hickeys on you? >> No.

Are your socks currently matching or are they odd? >> I’m not wearing socks.

What’s the name of your current, if not current, most recent ex? >> Hallie.

When did you last have sex with your ex? >> I don’t remember, it’s been years.

How late did you stay up last night? >> I don’t think I was awake much longer past 11p.

How did you get any of your scars? >> Burned myself on a motorcycle exhaust pipe.

Does putting others down make you feel better? >> No.

Would you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? >> No.

Rate your self confidence: 1 being insecure and 10 being cocky: >> I don’t know how to assign a numerical value to a constantly shifting and situation-dependent concept.

Does your family have a secret? >> There’s plenty of skeletons in their closets.

Do you lie when asked how you’re doing? >> No, I just don’t really know how to answer other than the standard response.

Do you like to take pictures of yourself? >> Yes.

If someone gave you a houseplant, would you keep it? >> I mean, I’d question why they were giving me one in the first place, considering I haven’t expressed desire for one. I have no idea what I’d do with it if I couldn’t give it back.

When/where are you most likely to sing? >> In the shower.

Are you in shape or more out of shape? >> I don’t know. I feel like I’m more out of shape than usual, because I don’t get out as much as I used to when I lived in the city.

Has anyone ever commented on your weight? >> Yeah.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave? >> Sure, why not.

Do you like wearing shoes? Or prefer to go barefoot? >> I don’t like wearing shoes indoors.

If you had a son right now, what would you name him? >> ---

Do you own a desktop or a laptop? >> I own two laptops. One of them might as well be a desktop, for as heavy and full of peripherals he is.

What do your friends call you? >> Rev, generally.

Who was the last person you spoke to before you went to sleep last night? >> Sparrow. Or Can Calah.

Have you kissed more than three guys this year? >> Not in meatspace.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings? >> I have both.

Who’s with you? >> Aside from inworlders, no one.

Can you use chopsticks? >> Yes.

Do you believe in yourself? >> Sometimes, sometimes not.

How are you in arguments? >> Sometimes I represent myself well, sometimes I don’t.

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? >> It depends on the person doing the joking, I think. Sparrow can pretty much crack on me about anything if she wanted to, because I trust that she isn’t either prejudiced or malicious.

Do you think there are circumstances when it’s okay to wait for someone? >> Sure, I guess. I wouldn’t know, so I couldn’t pass judgement.

What would you do if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? >> ---

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? >> Yep.

Is love really worth fighting for? >> If you’re going to fight for something, it might as well be that, sure.

Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? >> My ex doesn’t have my phone number, so that’d be strange.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you? >> Absolutely.

Have you broken the law in the last three days? >> No.

Was last night terrible? >> Nope.

Are any of your texts in your inbox locked? >> No.

If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard, could you still type? >> Yeah, I’m a touch-typer.

Do you have a bad temper? >> No.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? >> Yes.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? >> Yes. Sparrow won’t pull out the parking spot if I don’t put my seatbelt on, lmao.

Do you currently have a scar? >> I have many scars.

You’ve had sex within these past ten days, haven’t you? >> Inworld, absolutely.

What bed did you sleep in last night? >> Ours.

#surveys #survey #random survey

[magicrobins]

Dare you to answer all 100 of those questions

Well shit man I feel challenged.

All questions answered under the cut.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

As in boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope, single af over here :P

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Uhh probs? I mean I don’t really remember but it probably wasn’t a big thing.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

My kitty, my little pumpkin, Freckles uwu

4: What’s something you really want right now?

To finish answering these questions? JK JK lmao!

I’d really like to see one of my best friends again, for like more than just one day but like I always really want that.

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

In a way, yes. I’m afraid that I’ll fall in love with someone I’m not meant to be with and have my heart broken. I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with someone who won’t like that I’m sex repulsed, who won’t like that I don’t think I’d want to have kids, or at least little kids/babies. I know the right person won’t mind any of that, but I’m afraid of falling for the wrong person before I fall for the right one.

6: Do you like the beach?

Yes! I like looking for seashells but I stay the fuck away from the ocean.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

I haven’t fallen asleep on a couch, that I’m aware of, but one of my best friends and I cuddled on one while relaxing during a 24 film contest.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A picture of Korrasami from the LOK comic.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Name the last four beds?? Uh my own, my dad’s, and my sister’s?

10: Do you like your phone?

Meh. It’s a good phone but since some iOS update, it’s been a real bitch. :/

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Ahahahaha no. Some things are nice, some things are… what they are. I didn’t plan to spend four years at MJC but I’m getting my AA degree at the end of this year. I didn’t plan to want to continue my schooling and get a Bachelor’s/Master’s in archaeology but that’s because I’d y’know buried that dream deep down ‘cause I thought I wasn’t smart enough (still sometimes feel like that but I got this, don’t worry). I didn’t plan to actually get into theater and want to minor in theater. I didn’t plan to get hella into Dungeons & Dragons and play in two campaigns, DMing one, and uploading the videos to YouTube but hey, I like how that turned out. I didn’t plan on being stuck with writer’s block majority of the time and restarting the same book over ten times. All in all, life’s not really going how I’d planned but at the same time, I hadn’t really made a plan. I just sort of let it take its course, I guess?

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Oh a friend of a friend’s who joined this RPG campaign that’s based on the Dresden Files. She was added to the group chat so I added her number. :)

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Uhh I’d rather have both, duh.

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional by far. I’ve dealt with physical pain for like four years now in my left shoulder (finally getting that fixed this summer) and while it can hurt so much that it makes me cry, I’ll take it over emotional pain. That’s probs not a good thing but that’s how I feel.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

I like the zoo, but I’d rather go to an art museum. I adore museums and don’t go to them as often as I’d like.

16: Are you tired?

Who isn’t? It’s past 11pm rn so yeah, I am lol.

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

My first phone contact was probs my parents and sister so my whole life lol.

18: Are they a relative?

Yep ;P

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

I have one ex and I’d have to say no. Nothing against him, it’s just that I don’t have romantic feelings for him. I don’t want to date someone I don’t have romantic feelings for.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Not like a kiss on the cheek, I’m guessing? If so, then no one :P

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Mm, I’d probs say yes if they proposed. A wedding takes time to plan though! ;P

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Haven’t ever kissed anyone -shrugs-

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

None, but I usually wear at least one on my right wrist if I’m not wearing long sleeves.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

No really, sorry.

25: What’s on your mind?

“Dear God, there’s a lot of questions!” lmao

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope. I’d like some but I’m terrified of pain and needles. ^^”””

27: What is your favorite color?

Red!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Shit idk? At this point it’s looking like never lmao

29: Who are you texting?

No one atm. Last person I sent a text to was my sis.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

…Y’all just keep wanting to rub in that I ain’t ever kissed anyone before lmao!

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Probably. :| I also probably caused that bad thing to happen.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yep! uwu

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I mean there’s someone I’d love to have feelings for me but no, I don’t think so. It might be the insecurities talking, but no one, to my knowledge, has had feelings for me in a while.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Uhh aside from parents or family?? Shit I can’t remember, but y’know what? I have damn pretty eyes. I have pretty hazel eyes ok lmao.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

Then that person would be kissing air ‘cause I haven’t ever kissed anyone lmaooo

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Every Valentine’s Day, yes. :’)

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes. I’m friends with Nobody. xDDD

38: What do your friends call you?

Depends on the friends and when they met me. Friends who I’ve known since high school called me by my full first name, “Briana.” Friends I’ve met online or at college call me by my nickname, “Anna.”

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Not that I can think of… Irritated, sure, but not really upset.

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Pfffffffffffffffffffffft…. Of course.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Uhh I don’t have any atm but probs on my leg?

42: What is it from?

Hell if I know -shrugs-

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

That hasn’t been for a while… I usually feel this way when I go to class in the beginning when I don’t really know anyone, especially if I’m put in front of the class to talk. (This happened a lot in the beginning of the acting class I took.)

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My dad. Called him to let him know the fucking hide away door was busted again… I hate that door.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

All of my boots. uwu

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

Yep! Mostly depends on the outfit, but majority of the time I’ll wear this Code Geass hat I have.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Fuck no.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

Pffft no.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

According to Chrome, the top three I go to is YouTube, Tumblr, and Facebook.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Maybe? I’m not sure.

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My left shoulder. For the past four years. :’)

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Depending on who they’re with. Saying “goodbye” to one of my best friends when he moved to Arizona was… that was painful.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Probs Dr. Pepper.

55: How is your hair?

Fine atm. It’s not combed but I don’t mind how it looks rn.

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my phone.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Yes, anythings possible.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

When aren’t I? Lol yes, I was.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Meh either is fine with me.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Idk, when they need it?

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

…I’m not sure, tbh.

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Tomorrow? Idk.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Home, in bed. :P

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleeping ;P

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yes.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Absolutely.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

My cat lmao

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I don’t really remember, sorry :/

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Probably.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Two - five tabs in Chrome though.

71: How many fingers do you have?

…Ten?

72: What is your ringtone?

Just some generic ring tone.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 23 :P

74: Where is your Mum right now?

At her house probs.

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Let’s go with “almost in love” ‘cause idk wtf falling in love feels and idk if you can fall in love with someone who you have strong feelings for but never dated.

To answer the question, though: ‘cause I was a closeted af idiot. I mean, in all honesty, I understand why I was closeted. I was refusing to admit to even myself that I wasn’t straight. I get why I was so scared but like… in hindsight I wish I’d been open with myself and open with this person.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Absolutely!

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

…Wtf is year 7? Is that 7th grade? If so, I was homeschooled then so didn’t have a crush. :P

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

I have a few family members with that name.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Nope.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Mm one person but that’s just ‘cause I legitly don’t know how to move on, like no one’s really told me a good way to move on so my brain is just like “What to do with these unrequited feelings fuck :|”

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

I have ;D lmao

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Mm probs not? Not unless they text me. I texted them yesterday, didn’t get a response but I know they’ve been busy.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Idk? I don’t drink so idk why I’d get drunk.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I saw Black Panther. Enough said. uwu

87: Who was your last received call from?

Probs the hospital to schedule an appointment?

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Wtf no!! DDD:

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Either money specifically to pay for school, or filming equipment so I can film the D&D sessions how I’d like to film them. :|

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Maybe? Idk.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Nope. Door open but window closed.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Lmao I like to think so.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Um idk? I mean I’ve never told the person I had (have?) strong feelings for that I’ve had those feelings and how long I’ve felt that way but like idk if they need to know that?

94: Does sex mean love?

No. You can have sex without love and love without sex.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

I’d be alone. :|

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Idk does Nobody have a lip ring? lmaoooo

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

Nope, I have my cat and my dog. uwu

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yes. I have my friends, my pets, and someone special to me.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes. I don’t believe everyone experiences it - everyone falls in love in different ways - but I believe it’s possible.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Uhhhh idk? That was probs years ago?

#i dID IT #-collapses- #ask anna #magicanon #my life

[succulentsstars]

Deleted/Unlisted Video notes

So a few months ago, I came across a list of some unlisted and deleted D+P videos and decided that for my own personal interest as well as some others’ perhaps, I might take some notes. Though I initially tried to keep my personal opinion out, I️ eventually gave in So if you’re interested- here it is! Unlisted/Blocked Video Notes Phil- 79 Dan- 36 3 videos a day average 23 a week AT LEAST 2005 38 uses for a cushtie Feb 7 P- 18 D-13 • Never uploaded to YouTube • Mother in kitchen • Hedgehog and lion (not the) on bed • Buffy cutout • Cream corner couch • In childhood home • Unknown ‘girlfriend’ • Dad at computer • W/ four friends. Guy and three girls. • Girl w/ pixie cut • Girl with eyeliner • White Calvin Kline underwear • Girl w/ eyeliner again • Turtle? • Guitar red • Another unknown girl • Another unknown girl • Unknown guy • At some sort of pool? 2006 Awaiting the Tide Feb ?? P-19 D-14 • First vid uploaded? • Beach setting • Black hair/short/spiked • Plays Micheal • Mellisa • Louise • Argue over Phil • Terrible acting • “Sorry girls I’ve chosen Daniel” • Licks horse?kangroo? (Donkey) • Blue walls/living room? • Blue carpet • In Phil’s childhood home living room • April Harper • Victoria Maclean The game- a short horror film set in future March 12 P-19 D-14 • Described in Tatinof • Hair getting longer • In Phil’s uni room • Picture wall • Kill bill above Phil’s bed • Lesbian couple • White Levi’s shirt • Door has bathroom like handle • Rooms numbered • Door to left of entry hall, then switch back staircase • They all come out of this door, maybe this was Phil’s room? • Other door on left between Phil’s door and staircase • Shower labels • Shower room separate from sink (to left) • Downstairs door? • At least three levels • Sink on second level across from stairs to right is shower • Two doors? To right of shower on wall • Three girls and four boys? (Including Phil) • Entry hall has at least two doors on left and at least one on right • Third level- two doors on left • Door across from stairs leads to bath (room) and closet? • First door on left third floor is bedroom • Kitchen is on first floor opens up to other area with lots of doors? Concrete floor • Fiona Sheldon- one of two lesbian couple, dark brown, long dark brown hair, brown eyes? • Pete tannion. Thin glasses, slight under chin beard. Thick eyebrows. Light brunet • Cat Lofthouse. Little bigger, shoulder length mid brunette hair • Rob Davies. Mid brown hair, half bowel ish hair, thick ish glasses • Tessa Blake. Other lesbian. Short dark brunette hair • Andy Day. Played killer. Really spikey hair brunette. • Andy helped Phil write it My first videos Aug 13 P- 19 D-15 • Complication • Someone taking shots? • Kitchen • Four girls in their house living room- big tv, white flap curtains, dark green walls? • Two walking outside by fence • Unidentifiable song • Other room w/ computer in corner • Karrina and Phil • Pool • Mum/ family at Grand Canyon • Australia • Martyn! • More shots • Australia • Kangaroo • Laughing with Ella in house bedroom Kerrina visits my House Sept 21 P- 19 D-15 • In Phil’s childhood home • Orange Jacket • Black hair getting longer • Starts in oranger and yellow striped room with multicoloured bedspread • Fancy glass and wood front door • Grey car out front • Kerrina dirty blonde with over shoulder length hair • Yellow armchairs in living room (2) facing tv • Yellow couch to left, facing wall • Blue pool table behead a chair • Phil can juggle (sorta) • Playing bubble bobble • Phil bossy with game • Jeremy Kile show • Old phone flip phone • Finding ringtone • It’s a lion • HUGE backyard? • Fenced in by orange wall? • FUCKING PALM TREES ON RIGHT • stone walkways in fountain?? • Door covered in pictures • American flag on ceiling • Looking out at backyard from room • Window across from door Strange Dreams (Episodes 1-5) 18 Nov P-19 D-15 • ‘The mystery lion’ • Rapid voices • Almost bald? Guy in glasses/ black winter clothes • Phil has long hair • In green shirt • Steve the giraffe • In Phil’s childhood home • In bedroom • Buffy stickers in door • ‘The journey’ • Phil in hoodie • Room change • ‘Wake up’ • In bathroom • Wooden door • Old camera • Coming up stairs into hall • Into multicoloured bed room • Ian? • ‘Dreaming’ • ‘Man from future’ • Glass room W/ houseplants plants • Me and Anja Test My Camera Dec 27 P-19 D-15 • Phil likely visiting family on Christmas vacation • Filmed Christmas Day • Hair not nit to shoulder • Bw striped shirt+ black jacket • Hold wall • Anja- hair lot like Phil’s- Black, fringed • Window from Pinof! (Crappy church window) • Camel • Definitely in Phil’s house • In hall • Simon the camel • Photo with door to left of window in hall • Pressable screen?!? Omg! • Weather in 1242 haha • “Very welcome...Phil and Anja are going to shout happy Christmas now” “child” omg Phil’s mum calling him child I love her • To Alex • Barking at you? • Bye • Going to play board game now, rapido 2007 Car Journey to Leeds Feb 4 P-20 D-15 • New Year’s Eve • Dark hair, styled shorter • Mark is driving • Dark b hair, bowel ish cut • Raining • Emily is back left- shoulder length straight platinum blonde, somewhat round face • Victoria is back right- wavy brown hair thicker eyebrows. From awaiting the Tide videos • “Hello Philip” • Emily Resolutions “eat less crap do more exercise get with less dickheads” • Mark- “your grandchildren are going to see that Emily” • Phil says Emily and Victoria going to kiss • At midnight • Now! • No • We’ll have you having sex on the back of the ** in no time • Mark roar like a lion • Emily’s going to kiss Phil • YESS! • Wait no I’m going to change that • Phil in green tee shirt • They do little kiss • Highest motorway in world • Yesterday is calling me Big Ben strikes 12 Mar 1 P- 20 D-15 • In front of Big Ben on corner of road going towards it and road going past it • In London • It’s 12 • Slightly longer hair • White shirt with black stripes on sleeves • Freind with glasses who looks like mr sersion • Ian? • Maybe Pete Tannion his roommate? Awaiting the Tide 2 Mar 1 P-20 D-15 • Michael- Phil • In yellow diagonal stripe tee • Hair covering neck • Melissa and Louise • Episode two return to the beach • Pans over flower bed • In orange stripe room • Palm tree • Has sunglasses folded in shirt neck • Singing along to perfect day? • Outside house? • In glass greenhouse thing • Tv in there • Redish wood house • No it’s Phil’s fence • Filmed at Phil’s house • Louise has dog grey? Biggish lion, turtle?, and rabbit? Stuffed animals • Wearing old reindeer antlers Phil had on facebook profile • Sitting with Melissa in living room? With dark wooden doors? And green couches and curtains • Hold hands and skip • Fancy place with hill overlook, pillar like fence, Roman • At top of Phil’s yard- upward hill to right • Old lady? His grandma? • Care home?? • Room with yellow bed sheets • Fake gun • In yellow sitting room- not Phil’s house? • “I care about Micheal so much but now he’s with Daniel” lol • Haha terrible acting • To be continued • April Harper • Victoria Maclean- went to Leeds • • Phil’s Video Blog- 18th March 2007 Mar 18 P-20 D-15 • Hair almost brownish? Maybe camera • Green green hoodie • I’m back at home now • Thanks for all the giraffe names • Cuts to pic with Phil and giraffe (at uni) • Prize is amazing • His pet goldfish Nemo- covered in black splotches • Laying in tank • People kept saying it’s going to snow • Just a bit of snowflakes • Have to get on plane on Tuesday • Anxious • Sick of winter weather • Going to Florida • Mother’s Day • 1 year since first vlog • Lol bad editting • Haven’t changed much • Videos too long • Gets animal- lion • Grandma visited- shows her • Welsh in her head- doesn’t know it • V old • Gives thumbs up 10/10 grandma • Martyn visits • In glass room • VC? What it means • It snows!!! • Grandma there next day • Wow pics of subscribers • Have a great waster • • Florida One- Intro and Gatorland Apr 7 P-20 D-15 • Brownish hair • Down to neck • L blue shirt • Arrived in Florida- at house • V white • Shows street • Looks like typical neighborhood but nice and with palm trees • Shows house • Not one in 2017- only one floor • White Mini Cooper??? • Ian has come on holiday with us • Short short brown hair, thin glasses • Lake behind house • Mum and Dad! • At Gatorland • At squirrel paths • The sun is too hot Florida Two- More Gatorland Apr 8 P-20 D-15 • Same day • “Yes!” With Mom • Shows Dad and Mom lots • Steve Jenny Sarah susa • Feeds llama • Ian scared • At show Florida Three- Horror Movie Trailer Apr 8 P-20 D-15 • New day • Phil in Forrest green tee • We’re going exploring • In cap, Gatorland? • Orange yellow sunglasses • With Ian • Only? • Wading through Forrest and falling • ‘The trees have ears’ • “Probably gonna die out here” Florida Four-Old town, hair dye, strange dream Apr 9 P-20 D-15 • Old town is amusement park • Ferris wheel opening shot • Sky dive? • Red truck parade? • Hula dancer • At gift shop • Someone thrown from bull ride • Ride like wimpy kid movie • Rocky on tv • Pointing camera in mirror • Yellow tee with Florida • Baseball cap • Ian walks in- dared to dye his hair blonde • Black and white filter-blogs about dream • Checks himself out in camera hello • In my garden having picnic- room was glowing, ran over my video camera (he’s vlogging with) started to melt ran over- room started shaking big flash of light “oh god I’m going to die” then woke up in strange room got dragged out by man and Phil had red tattoo on arm. Man told him to get in line getting scanned green or red- shooting red people. Phil got green- he’s troop leader, got star. Blackness out window. In lecture room “welcome to new age of humanity” realest dream • Wants to go back • Sounds like Dan lol • Ian is ginger-y • Phil put in text it was ginger • Little giggle Alligator eats raccoon Apr 10 P-20 D-15 • Unlisted • Same yellow shirt? • Brownish long hair • Alligator in our garden- Liam • Jumped out of lake and ripped raccoon in half • Birds watching • In Florida House • Alligator flinging raccoon • Probably unlisted for violence Florida Five- Disney Mouse Ears April 10 P-20 D-15 • First shot in car • Orange tee shirt • Making faces • Drive through Disney gate • “Disney World” • Zooms on Ian • Walking to Epcot with parents and Ian in front of him • Orange shirt says dp haha my emotions • “I’ve put on this orange T-shirt to distract people from Ian’s hair” aww he’s so cute • “Cheers Phil” • The Seas with Nemo and Friends • Caption says ‘worst ride EVER’ aw :( • Ian says his experience is rubbish • In space ride? • ‘We got bored of America’ ‘so we went to Japan’ • Watching drum show • Koi pound • Phil in wizard hat • Ian in bob Marley Mickey ears • Phil in hatter hat • Ian in pirate hat • Phil in... spider hat??? • Mom in Minnie ears and Dad on top hat w/ ears lean in together • Holy cow all these hats • Finally settled on pirate • “We’ve become a family of mice” • “Are you filming?” “Yes” “ask me something” “phil?” “Yes?” “Do a micky Mouse impression • Idk what he says • ‘Oh my god’ • Wearing swim shorts • Attacking elephant statue • Meal of salt • Ian try’s to cut it • Fireworks display • Over lake??? • Showing obscure stuffed toys • Dinner noises in back Florida six- who is right?! April 11 P-20 D-15 • In green striped polo • Tan wall • Sitting in bed? • No hands so must be on tripod • Hi • Me and Ian didn’t agree on a lot of things on holiday- let us know who’s right • Mouths I’m right • This room really echos • What is size of platepus • Phil thinks it’s smaller • Different shirts • Phil green with star • Penguins (emperor) Ian-4 ft Phil-1ft • ‘I saw Davey ***?” ???? • Most haunted real? • Phil thinks fake • Phil likes Ian’s hair- Ian doesn’t • Phil’s shoes • Don’t even bring the shoes up • Ian hates them • “The best shoe ever” • Other than that we’ve got on this holiday • Phil punches Ian The tornado and the Comic Book April 30 P-20 D-15 • Opening shot of tornado white in yard • Just looks like dust • Sunny day • In a car • With Ian • Lol his blonde hair • Him and Ian making animal noise in car • Green and white baseball cap with diamond? • Wow I️ didn’t even notice how light his hair has gotten WOW • Written on paper “Ian is a liar you don’t need a gun to kill him” in all caps • Phil slashs paper across his neck • Denny’s • Orange world pass by • Celebration Ave • Driving • “I️ was the only survivor of the tornado encounter” • Tells Ian he’s supposed to be dead • “Sell my body to strangers on the street to make a living and maybe eat the occasional pigeon” • “This is my final broadcast, goodbye everyone it’s been fun” • 1974-1948-1963 • First bomb has hit New York • “Drive Sebastian DRIVE” @ his Dad Phil’s wilding lol • Rorr • Phil’s Dad says something • Someone’s being arrested lol • Steven Speilburg is on a cloud • “Give me your money or dragon will die” • ‘Dad told me to calm down’ written on screen wow it’s so weird to think of Phil as teen • Boring tv • Bites lip • About maths • Parents talking indisctiily • He gets it wrong and everyone laughs • His mom suggests two times table • I️ love his mom • • Alternative Muse Trailer- MEWS Sept 15 P-20 D-16 • Starts w toys • Narrator? Professional • “Coming soon the amazing new album from MEWS • Meowing Muse songs • Sounds kind Phil • Cuts to Phil and Ian in his bedroom meowing and laughing • Phil’s hair is p black again • Phil laughed • They kept laughing • “C’mon, meow- seriously” • There’s literally Buffy everywhere Phil is the real stalker here • Weird ceiling pattern • At home Christmas Monkey December 23 P-20 D-16 • Four people • Phil- hair black and shoulder length • Ian??? Or Pete • Girl in red with long aburn hair cat??? • Guy with duty blonde buzz cut • Ian in antlers • One word stories about monkey • “And-the-monkey-lived-happily-ever-dead” • Probs in dorm 2008 Coin of Destiny Jan 9 P-20 D-16 • Still stock cabin image with title written • Blonde guy??? • Holding duck • Knock at door • Pete comes in • “Hi Jake, tommy” • At dorm??? • In room ugh light blue walls and pool table and jaws poster • Nvm it’s Phil’s house • Coin- endless fortune or pain • Tosses it • At Phil’s house • Phil and someone??? • Stroking things plus noises • Welcome to year 3000 • Heads • “Lucky child” lol • Other guy on hall floor? • Idk him???? Latino looking • In tan room • Ian saves Jake • At gate of destiny • Blonde girl (don’t know???) • Welcome to the gate of eternal destiny • His hair is so long fml • Guy shows up to kill girl Ian saves her • Ben Dawson as Jake • Emily pepperday as gatekeeper • Mark hesketh • Stephan claxon • Danish Mahmood • Filmed at 3 am aww my B.B. • “I️ love you guys” I️ love you Phil Prague #1- Arrival Jan 13 P-20 D-16 • Opens on empty train platform outside • Three guys (or girl one w/ long hair) • “We’re just waiting for the train everyone’s a bit bored” • One guy is doing this dance thing and jumps into the other’s arms • Hangs down • Starts doing sit ups and makes a kissy noise • Guy hold him pretends to slap his face • Jumpcut to room • Guy w/ black long hair dancing • Steven • Omg Phil’s hair is down to shoulders • Pretty black • Wearing blue hoodie • Room is small • “Got our own bathroom so no sharing with scary men” • Likes painting on wall (rose) • Phil bonded with Andy on the plane • Ian • Little quiz for people at home • Andy or Phil? They are facing back • Andy is one w/ long black hair • Lion hate • Ian reading paradise bar card • Sexy women on it • Private dance, go go dance, lap dance • Whistle • Maybe he’ll visit Tomorrow • Describes day • Phil didn’t like English pub at first • Angie made the lion hat • Steven posed naked with lion hat over his crotch • Shows actual picture • Andys in bed Ian’s asleep • Slow mo jump • Everyone has own twin bed Prague #2- Exploring Jan 13 P-20 D-16 • Opens on town/city • We’re in old town square • Gothic towers • Really big Christmas tree • Astronomical clock • ‘Anticlimax’ in text as clock goes off • Going to top of tower • Phil looks like snape with a tan scarf lol • View from top • Tower has the highest suicide rate in Europe • Phil runs up to camera and says fascinating • Steven sniffing maniquen • Zoo on her head • Wow so pretty • Soldiers • Do a little skip • Harry and Hermione good graphite drawings from ootp • Picture slideshow • Show with clown dude 20 Days Mar 8 P-21 D-16 • Text ‘20 Days’ • Sped up • Math socks • Hair v long and black • Got to write 1000 words in 24 hours • Opens textbook and flops his face into it • At college? • Has hiccups • Someone films him flipping pancake • Shirts keep changing • Feather woman • Going in car wash at night • Hanging upside down • Had little blue haired figure ‘I don’t want to write another 2000 words’ • Matching couple going down stairs • Fiona- brown hair with bangs • And Seth • We’re going shopping together • Ill • W coffee • Lion • Outside in fenced in • Wow 20 Days went by fast • I️ think I️ need to start appreciating each day • What are you doing today? • Maybe..you should.. do something memorable • =] Zac Efron for President April 9 P-21 D-16 • Hello • Sea blue shirt • Weather channel saw his last video • Give us sunshine again • Andrew somethings video • He got jones soda • I’m unidentified place with white • It’s can • Angry • He’s in Florida • New tshirt • Went shopping during rain • Got matchy watch • A lizard climbed the tree outside didn’t film it • Badgeline • Zac efron for president • On button • Sea monkeys Katie sent • Ling ling painted lion • Wow this vid is so cringe lol AmericanPhil April 15 P-21 D-16 • Phil is doing American accent • Watching baseball and drinking Gatorade • Holy cow it sounds so weird • Oh it’s another dude speaking • I️ think? • Totally awesome The sliver button May 3 P-21 D-16 • I️n Florida still • Duvet in background • Shiny button on house plant • Somethings coming • Has scarf on head • Change in dimension • Black white now • 1000s of people all watching • I️ can see your eyes you’re all staring right back at me • Sock puppet • Not again • On flip phone • No orange button • Stop watching video • Fake crying • Selfish people • Sock eats him • Never be able to understand what you’ve just done • Entered vid in competition • *competitiom cancelled Sock perfection May 8 P-21 D-16 • Still in Florida • So excited • Are you ready for something exciting • Shoe sock • He’s so happy omg • Red striped shirt Stuff #3 May 25 P-21 D-16 • Text- ‘there was a folder on my computer called ‘stuff 3’ it contained 15 videos and one song’ • I️ challenged myself to make a montage in 10 minutes • Girl saying hello Philip and something about a flip • Dark blue room with guy in red sweatshirt walking away • Anja roaring • Someone in glassed in pool • Phil’s mum is filming • ‘It’s a video’ • Aw she’s so cute • Looks like pool from 2017 Florida trip with dan • They stay in same house! • Red sweatshirt guy ‘You’re editing this film not me’ • Phil in purple tee in front of bushes • Clip of Phil wearing watch • Family • At his dorm with Christmas tree • Clip of guy? • His giant Backyard • City? • I️ am sat on the floor DANGER! June 20 P-21 D-17 • Essay- got a 53% • Upset • Fiona’s Birthday- video • Ben’s Birthday • Booked place with sauna and stuff- recommends • Messy room- dorm?? • Hair is lots shorter • Slightly lighter? • Sped up footage of party • Shot glasses?!? • Girl and at least three guys • Standing in a kitchen • Singing happy birthday • Two girls- four guys • (5?) • Phil likes house • People playing twister • Swimming pool • Ping pong and pool table • Three people dancing on balcony • Girl squished her boobs • In swimsuit • The happening- thought it was going to be really cool • Didn’t like it too much- awkward • Nobody talks like that • Pops pink balloon with hands • Fake cries • Mom is from north- Dad from down south • Mix of two • *accents • Does north accent Curious Mico Aug 10 P-21 D-17 • Hair getting longer • Blue shirt • Orange and wears a tie question time with Mico • Has red guitar • Real? • I’m his brother’s room at moment • Martyn- sure he’s been in one of my videos before • Pic of martyn skateboarding • Weirdest thing in room- loud koala alarm clock • He has new has • Bell- rang it in shop and got shouted at • At the moment really likes mire cats • And polar bears • Marks cat • Cute laugh • 4 In morning about to go to bed • Look down and he stepping on Mouse • Cats are vicious killers • Superstition bc Mom • Fingernails, shoes • Don’t say “I️ hope you die on your birthday” • Makes weird noises • And it noises people • Footage breaks down • “Rest in peace Mico” Dude, an amazing forest hurricane! Oct 5 P-21 D-17 • Other people • Wearing shirt from profile omg first one I️ recognized • Three people- two guys and girl- all long brown hair • Zebra • “We call a zeebra a zebra” “REALLY?””Yes, you were wrong” • Holy cow the girl looks/sounds kinda like Cat (caterific) • Central Park • Doing story • Umbrella • We’re in New York • In band • John • Space exhibition- which was boring • Snacks- discussing biscuits • Abbry • Nvm two girls • At natures museum • It’s a squirrel pig • Re: The BEST advice Oct 27 P-21 D-17 • Close up on face • Purple shirt • ‘Hi andrew’ • ‘My name’s Phil, I’m from England’ • We say the word like this • SORRY • Growls 2009 AmazingPhil Big Brother Audition Jan 13 P-21 D-17 • At home- in his bedroom • Wearing cat whiskers • Omg • Hi- meow • My name’s Phil I’m a boy and I️ make video diaries on YouTube • Jumpcut to lobster • Bare chested- towel tied around shoulders • I’ll join the gym at university • “And then I’ll be irresistible” • God he’s hot • Christmas vacation • Feels need to tone myself • Used to talking into camera • Likes lions • Like these shoes • Like these boxers- musical note ones (Dan has worn them fml) • Doesn’t want to be put with annoying famous people • “So please pick me” • “And I️ will give you a kiss on the face” SNOW April 29 P-22 D-17 • Snow filter • Animals noises • Red shirt • Just making faces ☠️ April 30 P- 22 D-17 • Purple ish footer • Amazing eyes • I️ can hear a noise • I️ can hear someone coming closer and closer to my room • Filter switches • Puts string in mouth • Screams with beep • Pretends to die Bradley Sept 22 P- 22 D-18 • Been really long time since video • Doing American accent • Get naked • BW shirtless jumpcut • Lessamazingphil everyday • Went to wales • Thought he was was going to get serial killered • They were driving • Moving ball of fluff • With friends • Badger • Never seen badger • Badger through itself in front of car • Killed it • Haunted by badger and ferret • Bought glasses today • Called Seth • Checker shirt change • Actually blind • Bradley gave eyetest • Eyelid rape • American cup • Lol it’s a yellow solo cup • Going back to Florida in April • Parents want to get house there • Used to this face • Twice a year in flordia • Writes “a really freaky woman has moved in” • “Hello, I️ will be here for two weeks” • Writes- ‘she keeps her butter in the cupboard • Moving out on Wednesday • Moving back to Manchester forever • So he’s still at uni rn • Going to become a man • Love you all a lot • Battery died • Lion and lioness • Green grapes Flashing Images Sept 25 P-22 D-19 • Text ‘this video contains flashing imagines’ • Flashing images set to music • Most seemed to be filmed at his home • Guy walking down street • Cards • Calculator • Notebook • Buffy on tv • Inverted colors • Pill • 8 ball • Young Phil? • Screen splits several times • Hands with oilers, hourglass, smashing, knife • All footage is ten years old OHHH (1999) I️ like fire and petrol Nov 5 POST 10/19/09!!! P-22 D-23 • In room at house • Got hit by firework as child • Stupid friend called Katie • Picked up unused fireworks and put them in fire • Afraid of fireworks now • Love smell of bonfires • Weird • Aftershave would wear • Fireworks and scooters direct- shop in his town • Now we can ride the scooter to the fireworks display • Back roll OMG • Got purple face mask in P.O. box • Thanks • House made weird noise • Mattress on side?? • American candy- livesavers • Smell • Mickey Mouse boxers • Medium so rly big • Parents said if you don’t have job by November kicking you into the street • Actually just advised him • Haven’t done • Not sure what he’ll be • Brain heart surgeon • Physic? • Now kiss me • Vet • Tatoo artist (only face whiskers) • Lion tamer • Long tongue • History folder- doodles • Didn’t care for history • The final quack • Apartment red filming in Ireland • Woman at airport made him cry • Lioness is pregnant • ‘But you only licked my chin’ • The were on laptop keyboard • W/ Stephan • Apple computer • Set • Wearing suit w/ purple tie • Fake cuts off head • HICKEY on his left between shoulders and neck • Dan was last with him nov 1 • 5-10 Days ago Dreams of the future Nov 22 P-22 D-18 • Meows • Sorry I️ haven’t been around much • Hair down to ears • Wearing jacket he wore for Halloween • Life has been crazy • Cutest face now • Entered video into contest • Dan’s in the competition • Cut to Pinof • Dan saying ‘should I️ have a sex change’ • After you vote for me pleaseeee could you vote for him as well? • Cleans screen • Double screen • Takes photo • Idk if I️ told you but you look really beautiful today • Talk to past • 2047 • Dino dream • We all sleep in xxx chambers • Robots everywhere • When I️ like something it makes me do this *shirt sparkles* • Blue polo ish shirt btw • Not actually human • Show you inside of my head • Cut to flashing images video • Gives me ability to travel trough time • Red- he’s not who he says he I️s • Colors invert • Music kicks in • Travel into past and warn you • I️ have been on this planet for thousands of years • 2047 • Red shirt (with sharpie streaks) no shirt • He has your soul now • I️ warned you to stop watching • End of our story • Like dreams not all stories have a happy ending • Wraps up glove in Black • Going to return to my mind now • I️ want to wake up • His eye Captain stress relief December 5 P-22 D-18 • Stop motion w/ lion • For giffgaff • Mobile network • 18th time filming • Lion hasn’t been talking to him • Guy in bubble wrap • Captain stress relief • Have a cheeky pop and relax • Popping medley • I️ don’t see this as a job I️ see this as my life • At Phil’s house • So high up • Wearing cat sweatshirt/jacket • Another dude in phils living room Have a bear exam coming up • Mom • I’m so stressed with all this cooking • In kitchen • Giffgaff to hire (V DAY VIDEO- FEB 13- P-23 D-18) My fish died :( Mar 1 P-23 D-18 • Bed made • SAME SHIRT AS VDAY • SAYS ARFF OK YHEN • jackienchan • Dad displayed fish body outside conservatory window • We need to mourn him Phillip • 100,000 subscribers • Self conscious • Clip of HI IAM PHIL WELCUM TO MAH FIRST VIDEO BLOG • shudders • Imagine if you all were in the room with me • We’d probably die • Didn’t know peeps • Karen sent him peeps • Christmas trees • Very sugary • Very nice • 6 1/2/ 7 • He and dan tried making American pancakes • Cut to clip of them • Clip of it snowing • In orange room now • Today’s draw Phil Naked • Him riding a cow in space • Mating call of camel • ‘Hey do you want to head up to the bedroom..’ • Prize time • My soul • Boxers • He and Dan semi finalist • In video contest • Halloween’s mirror self of them OHai Mar 30 P-23 D-18 • Purple graphic tee • Cat whiskers • Close to camera • In bedroom • Haven’t made video here since Christmas • Say hello • Going on boat tomorrow to Isle of Man • Isn’t most exciting place • Buy ds and Pokemon to play • Hasn’t played Pokemon since Pokemon Silver • Asleep and kept hearing door bell in dream • Actual doorbell • Ran downstairs • Was excited for big package • Pokemon platinum • Game is small compared to old box • Can’t play bc no ds • Plays with slinky • Thanks everyone who helped by watching captain stress relief • But DANIEL • (Danisnotonfire) • He’s in Twitter part of contest • Help dan out • Giving away crazy prizes • Yawn • Going to bed at odd times • Doesn’t know how he coped when he went to Australia • Do you like these videos? • I️ will appear in your bedroom BOAT APOCALYPSE Apr 14 P-23 D-18 • In room but sitting at Pinof angle • Back from Isle of Man • Black polo • Hope the Easter bunny was kind • Never want to see white choclate ever again • ‘It’s your favorite’ • Had couple of Easter eggs before going on boat • People suck everywhere • Didn’t throw up • Dana gave him Easter egg • Real bird egg filled with chocolate • Looking at apartments in Manchester • Want to get one with really high skyscraper • Pretend everything is mine • Creepy guy breathing in his ear on bus • Don’t like people breathing in his ear • Got red photo camera • Penguin mating call • Ds arrived • Shows other side of his room • Big lion on chair • Draw Phil Naked • Him on a unicorn • Starts singing always I️ want to be with you • Apartment red • He and Steven • Lion family Swine Flu May 6 P-23 D-18 • V day shirt • Not in room • Feel like you and me should be pillow fighting in slow motion in our underwear • Thatd be hot • Tried to make video outside • Think he’s in Florida • Mosquito down his shirt • In geeze? Bottom corner of Florida • 8 hours to get there • Only eating trail mix • Too sacred to go into sea- idk why I️ developed sea phobia • Snake or alligator • Sea panther lurking • Bought grow your own aquarium • Only thing I️ shop that not shell • Shell jigsaw • Hammock jumpcut • He has swine flu • Guy with green t shirt on plane coughed • It’s been 3 weeks • Got sonic boxers • Fish in house • Pinof 2 • Own tv show on apartment red PRIZES July 8 P-23 D- 18 • Crawling forward on bed • Lion tee shirt • Patch beard • Facial hair grows weirdly • Nvm not lion shirt but black • So this video is about PRIZES • We the Kings day in the life • Announcing winners • Sending postcards to address • Permission to scrape out his eyeballs • Phil I️D.C. About contest • Something exciting in September • Clip on repeat EEE • Only good things can come out of a Moomin box Viewer Mail! Louder! Aug 30 P-23 D- 19 (As I️t is exactly same as listed video, no notes) SUPERNOTE 2010 Oct 4 P-23 D- 19 • Omg Dan is here • In new apartment • On black couch in front of microwave • Dan wearing red sweatpants and has bracelets • Phil in blue polo and black jeans? • Readyness face • Making mouth movements at each other • Big breath in • Dan counts down on fingers • Singing notes • Contest • Dan has v relaxed face • He lasts 42 seconds • Phil lasts 52 • D “holy crap what the fuck, freak” • Dan makes squawk noise • Wave goodbye • Dan starts again and Phil shoved his face • Screams in Phil’s ear • Dan and Phil get down! Oct 30 P-23 D- 19 • Dan fake playing video game • Phil sitting behind him • Dan wearing twilight shirt • Phil in yellow shirt • I️ heard if you say this thing 3 times into a mirror something scary happens • Dan replies sarcastically ‘ooh what is that then?’ • Bleeding llama dance party • No summos ancient Japanese wolf demon • Please it’s Halloween • Phil groans and gets up and goes to bathroom • Starts to say I️t • “Phil no think about this for a moment” • Scary imagines flash • Dan and Phil standing in front of balcony doors • Dan is taller than Phil omg • Stop motion • Dancing • Cycle • Phil eventually puts on wolf mask and mauls dan • Runs to camera • Happy Halloween • End screen 2011 Has WINNERS Mar 5 P-24 D- 19 • Dan and Phil • Terrible sound • In new apartment • Phil in red tee Dan in grey sweater and llama hat • Half full Ribena in back • Co judge: dan... the llama • Emotional piano music • All so good • I️ wish I️ was creative • D- so was I️ • Rachel triops queen and three year old daughter • Dan thinks they’re gross Phil likes them • Bonus chance for Simon • Dan does little swaying dance • Runners up • Dan will make sure Phil contacts people • Salad fingers character • But good • Dan likes text • Girl we met my chemical romance • With pink hair • Dan rolls eyes at Phil giving career advice • Jumpcut after dan plays with balls • 7 evil ex’s- dan is Ramon of flowers??? • Dan rawring at Phil • Dan should be art teacher • Dan says he should be everything teacher • Final fantasy character • Phil grabs Dan’s face when he’s annoyed • Don’t grab my face • ‘Personal bubble’ • Rude • Dan playing with bracelet • Secret unlisted video • Llama head butt • Don’t know how to stop camera Totoro Winners! June 5 P-24 D-19 • Phil wearing purple New York shirt • Dan wearing grey sweater • Terrified dan • Giraffe scared Dan • Not just creativity • Whisk face giraffe • Hard choosing • Goat • Dan scared of giraffes forever • Michael eagle washing machine • All these get small rotor is • Giraffe pocky • Wonder why Phil likes I️t • Hippo ice cream • Phil wants to eat I️t • Mural on side of his house of octo sloth • Dan likes spaghetti panther the best • Sitting on left side of tv • Tv is on • Fair amount of Knick knacks • Unbridge on unicorn • Fair amount of jump cuts • Phil just finished portal • Dan calls for taxi?? • Ultimate winners • Someone calls dan • Hello? Hello? • Jump cut he’s not on phone anymore • Phil loves disturbing • Dan says we a lot • Dan goes to get his taxi • Twerks in camera • Phil says no • Gives rec for vid • Unidentifiable song find I️t Speaking fail Aug 10 P-24 D-20 • He’s going to be doing an official apartment tour on his channel • Over and over • Red button up plaid • In bedroom • Keeps messing up DOG-A-LIKES! Oct 7 P-24 D-20 • Last day before Florida • Dan can’t fit in fride • Heat wave • Dan’s butt after heat wave • What dog is each person • Phil • Dan • Peej • Lion • Charlie • Chris • Idk why I️t made Chris so fat • Phil and Buffy baby • Phil and pikechu baby • Cookies and cream straw • In tv room • Drinks milk • Check out vyou • Clip of Phil eating after camera stopped • Bonus Phil mail 3.5 December 6 P-24 D-20 • In bedroom on side of bed • Lots of stuff • Camera and IMovie lost his footage • Red shirt • Jade sent him letter with draws (and cat whiskers) • Red panda stamps • Phil can’t wink • Wearing shorts • Heart hands • Timothy get downstairs right now • Going to read story in bed tonight • Likes to read before bed • Pocky • Promises he reads all letters • Final fantasy music? • Thank you for the sexy story as well... • Fake eyelashes maybe for philippa PROJECT FOR AWESOME 2011! somewhereto_ Dec 17 P-24 D-20 • Eating out of advent Callander • Sitting in chair in front of tv • Christmas tree up • Sonic shirt • Juggling polar bears • Walking down street • Omg this is where the cuts where he swears come from • Looks like mike from stranger things lol • Helps find people find space to do things • Draw Phil Naked • Snowed today • Dan saying it’s a blizzard harry in background 2012 LETTERZ Jan 25 P-24 D-20 • Sitting on bed longways • New covers • Jacob mask • Wearing blue orange and white bracelets- silly bands? • Wearing tie • Indigo shirt • Jesus stamps • Watching you since 2009 • I️dead to prank dan • Hide alarm clock in his room- that’s a good one • Working on that • I️ went cross eyed for you I️ love you that much • And now even moar • Red curtain • Now In living room • Sitting at breakfast bar • You should visit Canada someday • Likes the name Hope • Cara lee is a cool name • Wearing lion hat • ‘I’m sorry don’t stop watching the video because I️ did that’ • 8 years old viewer • WHOLLY SHIT ITS TIFAS THEME • SHITTTTTYTTT • shirt change • Doesn’t like colored pencils FANK YOU Jan 30 P-25 D-20 • Not at home • At parents house? • Grey plaid shirt • Bday thank you • Had a really nice day • Guinea pig • Mom made him cactus garden • Mapless chocolates • Shaver bc his broke and stubble growing • Didn’t know what to ask for for his bday • Sexy socks • Chocolate tasting club • Dad wrote ‘have a nice birthday or ill eat your liver’ • Spiked himself on cactus • Final destination • Go to bed • Should do updates more • Mysterious news AmazingPhil Next Vlogger May 6 P-25 D-20 • Jacob mask • Kill Bill poster above his bed now • My name’s Phil and I’m known as AmazingPhil on YouTube • From Manchester England • Vlogs, comedy sketches, interactive vid, and lions? • Loves interacting with people all across the world the most • In future wants to keep doing what he’s doing • Get better at editting • More interactive • Life vlogging • Juggles apples • Yeah I️ can’t juggle But what’s the catch!? May 23 P-25 D-20 • In another dudes house? • With Alex Day • London • Says London accent • Offers with price • 5 million will you shave off all body hair forever • Phil would for month or year • That’s mental no • Phil would for a billion • Saturday • Lose laugh or read minds • Phil seems flirty • Draw time • Bored on train Phil wrote these QUESTIONS! and a pickled shark Sept 10 P-25 D-21 • London apartment !!! • Side channel vid • Pinof 4 tomorrow filmed • Need questions • Usually uses formspring • In room? • Shark HO HO HO Dec 25 P-25 D-21 • At parents house • Tan room on couch • Take break from eating to wish happy Christmas • Puts on antler • HIS BEDROOM IS TAN • Not couch bed • Tetris alarm clock • At 6:30 when filming • Or is that his alarm??? • Dog puppet • Radio 1 website • 9 pm • Working on show all of December • Interacting on bb1 twitter • Going to eat and go into food coma • Goodbye guys oh dear • DAN IN RELFEVTIOM OF ALARM on computer • Ewatching? • Or Phil’s background 2013 HAIR MODEL! May 7 P-26 D-21 • Deleted • Finally feeling like summer • Mouse situation • Mouse in our house • Mouse cam • Their tv • Time to get cat • Weird woman • Hand first • Would you like to be a hair model • Different hair styles • Nial mask • Homeless guy saying I️ wonder who would win in a fight between you two • Phil wins • Lemon phone case • Jack Howard is avoiding haircut • Asking phone genie • Who in avengers? • C’mon Thor (Phil is so gay for him) • Black widow twins • Mcr in background • Names all Tom • Knows his middle name • Mum uses full name when he’s in trouble • Why is there a dying rabbit on my bed • I️ May tell u about someday • Interrupt this video for announcement • Danni boi jumps in (literally) • You just broke my bed • Radio Show nominated for award • People’s choice • London edition Ditl if they win • Grandma and dog vote • Phil was wearing pj bottoms while Time 2014 Dan and Phil LICK RACE June 16 P-27 D-23 • Sky shirt • Dan in horn hoodie • Usual spam emails • Hello Phil from Oreo • Lick race • Free double stuff Oreos • Nice angle • No teeth just tongue • Need a dispute to settle • Mail button • Phil is heavy sleeper • Ah domestic • Not answer door from more • But wait there’s more • Loser face decorated • Dan takes hello kitty mug • Dan has powerful younger • Phil sliding I️t over tongue • Dan slow powerful licks • Work out • So good at ice lollies now • Dan wins • Dan draws lick off • Sprays Phil’s hair • Ok I’m to go now • Dan licks camera Welcome! Sep 8 P-27 D-23 • White background • Probs in house • Wearing dan and Phil T-shirt’s • Dan in black and Phil in purple • Dan and Phil • Official worldwide dan and Phil shop • Posters • Llama and lion • Stationary sets • Dans ear 7cm long • Please stop that • Up there somewhere • Newsletter • Thanks for supporting • Phil’s heart hurts • Get that checked out • Should we go make some videos • Or eat • Dan laughs at the end god that was awkward Thank you! Sep 8 P-27 D-23 • Same setting as last • Dan- hello valued customers • If you’re watching this means you bought something • Or someone just sent you link • Phil hugs camera • To late now they just should enjoy the embrace • Go before • Super cringe sPOOPy Nov 5 P-27 D-23 • Darkness and flashing • Flashlight • 1D poster • Close up on Nial • Phil ‘rahhh’ • Sitting on toilet probs The Dan and Phil ADVENT CALENDAR Nov 17 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Phil in Jake sweatshirt • Dan in black T-shirt • Hello disciples of the Dan and Phil newsletter • No • We’re calling them that it’s my turn • So much worse than buddies • Didn’t know if we were going to do this if not • Hilarious • Phil wanted to • Bigger than looks on camera • Dan has big head • Had chocolate tasting • Strange moaning noises • Photo booth challenge behind each • Chocking on chocolate • Americans don’t have • Another joint • All get a bit fat together • Yayyy CHRISTMAS MERCH!! Dec 5 P-27 D-23 • In Christmas jumpers worn in dirl • Hello Christmas elves • Missed opportunity to say ho ho hello • Live in same • Follow newsletter • Do I️t • Please • Please • Working for long time • Best thing ever made • Calendar • Don’t spoil I️t • Customized dates • Twiiter plans • Pixal t shirt • Phil likes galaxy coat • Dan likes dinosaur • And Phil’s Pizza tshirt • Dan should put I️t on • Dan says not to look • Don’t want you to see my nipples • Phil covers his eyes • Phil sings sexy music • Dan thinks it’s cool • Dan is smiling to much too fake • Wrapping paper • Gift card • Dan doesn’t trust relatives • Put lot of love • Festive make over • Lots of gaming videos • Ho ho ho Phil closes in on camera Christmas one word story game! Dec 17 P-27 D-23 • Sitting on gaming couch • Dan in Santa hat and earrings and black Santa sweater • Phil in reindeer and purplish patterned sweater • Reindeers don’t say ho ho ho • Ahhh • Greetings and ah • Man named Jerome who killed Santa and wore his skin while visiting children • That was terrible idea HAPPY NEW YEAR! Dec 17 P-27 D-23 • Bonus video • In gaming room • Jellyfish tee • Dan in black • Purple Pokemon pillow • Merry eve • Phil what was your favorite thing of 2014 • Meeting Kylie benoge • Hanging out • Amazing video • Australian slang • Worst thing- • Either being stuck on rollercoaster or squirrel • Dan smiling • Best • Nick jonas hug • Body warmth • Worst • Buying leather t shirt • Regrets • Enjoy hanging out with robots and hover cars in future • Both give thumbs up 2015 ZZZZ Jan 28 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Door open • In gaming room • Pikacu pillow and green one • Phil in logos shirt • Dan in black tee • Dan does double peace signs in opening • Phil does single wave • That was weird • Dan and Phil sim buddies • Do something for people who have trouble sleeping • We both stay up too late on the internet • Like miles or owls • Bedtime story game • Ahh • Filter • One night in florist land there was a little squirrel called Herbert. Herbert’s face was swollen bc he licked a bee Herbert is sad bc of his face as he won’t be able to ask Susan to prom remember that faces are not important and dogs are loyal • THAT WAS GOING SOMEWHERE • ALL YOU HAD TO SAYIS WHATS INSIDE COUNTS AND YOU SAID DOGS • Dan is wild • Why are you wearing pyjamas • Bc it’s bedtime • Phil walks away • What a disaster • Sorry Ring Ring Roulette 2! Feb 15 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room at an angle • Phil in gray space shirt • Dan in alien shirt • Hello dan and Phil games sims buddies • Awkward • Need to stop that • Randomly call people using • Using our dan and Phil sim • Mailbox you have called not available • Hello? • Is this mainly? • Starts crying • Oh my fuck • Hi this is Dan and Phil • I’m amazed • How long have you watch vids? • *gargled answer • Dan would win in fight to death • Do you have any pets • Cat called salemgaylord something • Dan likes lazy fat cats • Phil would like a unicorn • Give us best unicorn impression • Lovely to speak to you • Thanks for getting out Dan and Phil sim • This has been amazing thank you • Both wave to phone • Dan mirroring Phil THANKS! Mar 2 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room • Poke ball and crash bandicoot pillow • Phil in owl sweater • Dan in black shirt and grey hoodie • Touching • Hello sim buddies • Wanted to make video to say thank you on sim adventure • Controlling our lives- pic of running • Sneaking things into our tweets • Phil tweet- “some days you just feel like a moist diplodocus. Put on a snazzy outfit, go to the zoo and have a feelsposion over a capybara.” • Finally getting Dan to change his icon • Cat whisker and eclipse shirt • Yep that finally happened • Dan found I️t fun • Dan senses you all strange texts • Won’t randomly call you... for now • Phil summerize this entire thing with one noise • Brleee! • Beautiful ^_^ Mar 12 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room at weird angle • Dan in Eye shirt • Phil in some graphic tee (white) • Hello sim buddies • Night (completely dark) • We’re waiting and we’re ready • Sounded creepy • Randomly dialing • Dan had huge ass smile on his face • Not available • Sh sh • LAUREN • Hello? • Um yes • This is Dan and Phil • Oh hi • Answer I️ wanted to hear • Refreshing for like hours • Do you have any pets • Dog called chip • Cross terrier • Do any tricks • Jump cut • Probably a cat • Nothing more exotic? • Bearded dragon not baby dragon • Impression • Phil does impressions • 11/10 • Hello internet • Phil waves at phone again • Lauren was nice • Asking people to do phone impressions isn’t good etiquette • Phil asks Dan to do impression and he does aww |||RRR||| Apr 1 P-28 D-23 • Even weirder angle in gaming room??? • Dan in skull shirt and Phil in red plaid • Hair is flipped ohhhhh • “Are we not going to call them dan and Phil sim buddies this time?” • Sim friends • Mobile isn’t available • On toilet or something • Man’s voice • Is this Chloe • Not your sim • Man’s voice • Unicorn impressing • Barry • Thanks Barry • That wasn’t Chloe... • Nicole • This is Dan and Phil • I’m just sat down • No just sitting • Have a snake • Bella • Hiss • Since 2010 watched videos • The Pinofs are favourites • Happily sitting • She’s so chill • Hello internet • Phil wants a snake • Didn’t wave • Dan in blue dining room chair DAN AND PHIL SHOP ‘END OF SUMMER/CLASS IS STARTING AGAIN AHHH’ COLLECTION Aug 22 P-28 D-24 • Pixal fade in • Crash and flappy bird pillows • Dan in b tee w pocket lion • Phil in mint green lion pocket • Hot new season • End of summer/class is staring again season • Such a long time • Lllama lion t shirt • Rubbing my boob • Text ‘wow it’s like a little trip to 2011’ • Debuted piece of jewelry • Whiskers necklace • Phil wears I️t • Put I️t over face and look like u have whiskers • How amazing is that • Collabed with spiral backpacks • Pixal and Galaxy • Phil will use galaxy • Worked rly hard • Bye • Pixal fade Dan and Phil Merch EXPLOSION 💥 Nov 18 P-28 D-24 • In gaming room • Dan in fringe sweater • Phil in tour t shirt • Flappy bird and crash pillow • Dan’s voice bad bc tour • Attack on Titan Phil sings • Most merch ever • V busy this year • This guy • Dan does dance • Phil wants explosives makes dan edit • Rolls eyes • Didn’t know it’s coming • 2016 Calender • Work Calander • Strippers • January sailors • So sorry • Phil’s fav aug • Fireman • Police is most suggestive • Photos regret • Sweater is by artist • Black tee • Prodigy and 5 secs of summer • Tours on back • Tour tee • New poster • Next chapter • Advent calander • Good chocolate • Festive morphs • Wait for each day • Thanks to Martyn • Newsletter • Hope you’re having a fab day 2016 New Merch! CALENDERS AND SPACE! Nov 18 P-29 D-25 • Both in galaxy merch • Dan sweater • Phil tee • Gaming • Crash pillow and flappy • Boy do we have a thing for you • Sit down • 2017 calander • At movies • Dan likes marvel January • Phil looks better than Chris • That’s bold • If you worked out.. • Phil jumped for hogwarts • Sorry for sherk July • Stare at us all the time • New galaxy merch • Dan likes design • Dark space • No ugly dan and Phil anywhere • Darker back pack • So many secret flaps • Shame is strong • I️ don’t want your head on my boobs • Crime against Christmas • The big C • Snapchat filter dan and Phil • You sneaky lil shits have I️t don’t deny • Horrifying • All out now • It’s cool if you don’t • Newsletter • First spamming in comments section • B b b B.B. bye • — — — — - Dan — — — 2006 Bower’s Castle Highscore B Dec 28 P-19 D-15 • On Dan’s MySpace • In living room • Yellow walls • Red carpet • On May • Fire place • Big old tv in corner • Starts w him walking on mat • Black socks and some sort of black sweatpants • V blurry • Black shirt • Ddr • Looks shorter • Uh let’s see • Ooh • Six misses only six • High score see 2009 Did you order some sex? Nov 3 P-22 D-18 • Wow link was broken • Same angle as hello internet • Tv with drawers • Shirt or something on top • Body bag still hanging from door • Hey everybody • Excited voice • YouTube actually removed for shocking images • Penis 3 ft long flowing blue • Rectal exams are so saintly • Text ARE YOU SRS • rant • New angle • Hair almost looks black • Sitting • Black long sleeve v neck w/ leaves? • Vloggy break from professional normal videos • Back from Halloween gathering • Met lots of people made friends • Got far too drunk *small laugh* • Looking down • This internet thing is crazy • New angle • White pants • Pulling them down • Blue underwear • Sorry didn’t make this vid yesterday • Tree fell on train tracks and he was standing there for ages • Your free socks are in the mail rn (butterfingers subscribers) • Bc that’s what I️t said- SOCKS • not secks • What kinda pervert would say that • Side note • How do you mail sex to somebody • Knocking on window • In mask and hood • Window door • White • Uh hi ups • Why you at the Back door • Free sex right to this house • BEND OVER • Looks at camera • Clip of him zooming in on screen with text ‘it’s over 5000!!’ • *dies* • Look what you did! • I’m going to get a not shit camera • You piece of crap (camera) • All see my hidious face in high quality *groan* • Follow me on twitter for interesting things I️ did • Woke up • Eating toast • Making orange squash • Kitchen is mess • So having a crap • Red underwear • Tmi • Dailybooth for naked photos • Has princess ketchup and kittens unrest • Stick finger YouTuber eating Google’s ass • Pure and innocent soul • Lazy Belemic • Smile • 10 points if you get that joke • So many jumpcuts • Proper video with tassels and everything • Heart hands I️ PUNCHED A BEAR IN THE FACE P-22 D-18 • Same angle but sitting • Hey guys • White ball by drawers • Joker tshirt • Echoy • Me and Amazing Phil in competition on clipstar.com • Votes money as prize • Amazing subscribers • Vote for me • Says via like vIa • Might not even have weekend job in few weeks • If he wins will buy camera • Committed to YouTube • Yellow carpet • Lexis videos • 90% so my audience is female • Doesn’t matter • I️t doesn’t matter if you’re 12 call me • Wink • Insecure • Radiating masculinity • Get back male audience • Puts on flannel • Manly cracked shirt and ginger facial hair • Man things • Beer out of special beer glass that’s not my dads • Eating raw meat • Biting Deer • Watches the football • Camping other week • Loincloth and pointy stick • Puts on bear costume • I’ll nut ya • Sigh • I️ don’t think this is working • Stick to sarcasm and humiliating myself What did YOU get for Christmas? Dec 25 P-22 D-18 • In room with Christmas blanket • Gradient small tree • Wrapping paper • Waking up • ITS CHRISTMAS AHHH EEEEE • not one of those people who hates Christmas bc I’m rly cool • Love Christmas • Fav day • Divine advent calander • Religious • Glory to god in highest etc • Inflict Christianity on me • Actually potrey Jesus family from Middle East • Not white • You to post video respond • Portal to Christmas memories • B/w jumpcut in muchdash • I️ got a *miidle finger* kill yourself f*ggot • Got- pants, socks • Truffle chocolates • Maltesers ‘so beautiful’ • Indoor fireworks • Evil laugh • Orange M.D. more chocolate? • Movie ‘Australia’??? • Loves I️t • Bailey alcohol • ‘Goodbye liver’ • Lol Christmas jumper • Shit ones • One solution puzzle? • Shirt grey • Book • Plaid pants • Sorry Mom never buy clothes for me • Twilight • Get out • Pretty awesome • Kill Bill- fav movie ever • Money • PHILS TOY • Goddam tonbury! • Hugs camera 2010 hi there Feb 27 P-23 D-18 • Holy fuck he’s in India • Birds in the background • OMGOMGOMG • Red t shirt • Towels over raining • Blue wall • Channel is danisnotintresting • All 8 hundred and something of you you super sneaky detectives • Am in middle of holiday in India • Palm trees and animals • Not horrible winterness I️ left behind • Drum • Hotel-PRESA di GOA • Bedroom- white sheets, dark, posts w curtains • WiFi • People talking in background during WiFi clip • Shirtless filming in mirror • Bathroom lighting is attractive • Breakfast area- outside grass hut roof things and chairs and tables • Swimming pool • Lagoon color surrounded by trees and some pool chairs- empty • Actual hut house things • Stone monkey on roof • Gardener watering plants • Black dog • India’s pretty cool • Nice and hot • Nice to wear shorts again • View from airplane • Back in UK now • Now can make more vids • See you all soon • *kiss* muah Aeroplane Adventures- with danisnotonfire Feb 28 P-23 D-18 • Unlisted but Danni BOI has made I️t unavailable I️t looks like • Ralph Lauren polo • Vlogging in mirror on plane • Hello and welcome to aeroplane bathroom adventures with Dan • Snuck into first class toilets • Lots of stuff • Giant • Airplane toilets scare him • Create black hole in room • Flushing toilet Uncle Ken Apr 14 P-23 D-18 • Note- unlisted for being generally awful but I️ won’t private I️t for archeological reasons (wtf does that mean?!?) • In grey sweater vest thingy • Better quality • Only the yellow wall as background • Just blog for first time- for many reasons • Wants to talk • Looks white • Where is his channel going • Style • Suck at posting regularly • Worst at doing anything • Idea sheet • Has to be five minutes epic • Twilights last • Video everyday in April • Considering I️t doing • Checking websites till dinner • Playing rock band till he goes to sleep • Singing bad romance • Maybe in aug • Going to Portugal with Phil in few days • Expect vid • In Manchester for next week • Mom got log cabin for garden • Outdoor shot • Lots of trees • Path to cabin • Staying at grandparents overnight • Weird shuffling noises outdoor • Door freaking open • Gown standing in doorway • Uncle was watching tv downstairs • Pretends to be sleep • 3 minutes I️t watches him • Rape me in sleep • I️t left after watching grandparents • He • Come upstairs now to uncle • Oh that’s uncle Ken • Relative of yours you haven’t met from up north • Dementia • Comment below • Had nice Easter • Bye bye LETS HAVE A QUICKIE Apr 30 P-23 D-18 • Black tee • Sitting on side of his bed • Waredrobe • Quickie vid • Interactive truth or dare next vid • 2nd channel suggests • Pick most entertaining • Some things that I️ wouldn’t pic • Not doing naked handstand on motorway • Oww... • Chocolate • Birds outside • Returning to dailybooth • Neglected I️t for last three months • Sign up • Fav online community • Phil stuffy ‘prized!’ • LucyX won peace of hair • Won competition for gimp • Shout out Phil for no dance vid • He was lazy • Shot Pinof 2 • Omm nom nom nom • Bloopers • Shut up at helicopters outside E3 2010! L.A. Vlog June 17 P-23 D-19 • In hotel • With Phil • In grey graphic tee • Phil in l blue polo • First few days for trip to La • Phil forgot they went to Disneyland • How could you forget we went to Disneyland • (Day 1) • Clip of coaster • Space mountain was awesome • Met American friends • More friendly than English people • Toy story 3 tournament • Is really good • Phil seems kinda out of I️t • Tron bags • Clip at Disney • Dan ‘tron bagssss’ • Someone legend of Zelda t shirt • Molly • Has tron bag • Blonde • Might wear I️t every day • Phil in purple • Dan in vest and twilights last • Phil is on light bike • World of color thing • Mufasa dies nvm rainbow • Going to make him remember • Segway tour • Venice beach tour • Dan loved I️t • Why don’t you get bike • Cut to shots • With blonde girl and dude • Dan segwayed wo hands • Pj? • Qued waiting for cirque de sol • Weird shoulder pads robes • Jump cut • Crazy • Kinect • Phil got to see press conference • Tonight get to see you story 3 • Best week ever • Funky playing around that wave been doing • Peace sign and three finger • Small world about to have soil ruptured • Phil roars SELF MUTILATION Jul 18 P-23 D-19 • In room on bed? • Grey patterned ish shirt • Worst habit • Suit on door • Cuts to him throwing off leopard print underwear and stabbing his dick • Wearing llama shirt in jumpcut • Leave spot on face alone • Dan has to remove I️t • Tiny red spot on face • I’ll just v subtly • Black screen screaming • *five minutes later* text on screen • Condiments and beef jerky on face • Over jumpcut with joker shirt • Going out tonight don’t want anyone to see • Side eyes • Add so reasons why Dan’s a fail • PO box • Danisnotonfire PO box 3612 Workingham RG40 9JL • England • Ik my subscribers • Don’t actually send me dead babies or underwear • Rawr argblarbleawblrwarblgablrbleweblbll Jul 26 P-23 D-19 • holy fuck Jamaica • ITS THAT ONE CLIP • plays with hair- look- wave- holds nose close eyes- splash underwater- opens eyes briefly while coming up • Wearing earrings Extreme Tubing Fail Aug 1 P-23 D-19 • ITS ANOTHER JAMAICA BLESS • people on tube • So after seeing that do you want to do I️t Phil? • Phil is so soft omg • Yeah • Two others on boat • One looks like driver • About to die • Girl • Dan likes I️t more than Phil • Both fall • Basically me and Phil died • Dan elbowed Phil in face Pelvic Thrusts Aug 12 P-23 D-19 • Danosaurs • L blue t shirt • In bedroom • Quick vloggy vid • Updated on life • Shit at vlogging • Kittens out shit • No scirpt • Just notes • Jamaica was fun • Not live in country with incests • Phil and him have bites everywhere • Everything wants to kill you more than people • To vids v proud of • We spent days editting them • Watch I️t again • Mortal combat scene was funny • Summer in city last weekend • Meet up in field for three days • Like 50 lovely people • Jonny Barum • Gave I️ Love you robot shirt • Intoxicating when gave I️t to him • Also a youtuber • He’s lovely • Charlieisso cool • It’s a hair flip • Phil is moving out • To own flat in Manchester • 14th floor • Looking forward to shooting vids there • Dump all my shit in his house stay there all time and eat his food • Truth or dare next vid • Outside with public • Send in YouTube message do t clutter comments • Fuck a duck • Promised people he would spon • Get featured uk • Spon • He’s made 4 vids without putting them up • This vid has gone but to shoutouts • Pelvic thrusts to make up for I️t • Bunch of perverts • I️ will upload 7 minute videos bc I’m awesome text at the end watch dan talk about a competition you helped him win Oct 5 P-23 D-19 • In bedroom at corner • Wearing grey vest thing and white t shirt • Spent long time editing • Uploading whatever to channel • Don’t expect good things • Invisible friends • Omg the editing • Clip star finalists • Vote for him and Phil • Terrible text • Win prizes for free • One of 30 postcards • Signed worn topman boxers • Steven Phil and His script • Pic chosen in glitter pen • Return to dailybooth • Vid of him and Phil dancing • Better channel layout • Happy dan full of smiles • Happiest Dan in world • See you guys soon University Life Oct 21 P-23 D-19 • In uni halls • Not askaban • On bed • Heart dude • Then Edward • Confusing 3 week’s • Settled • This place is actually beautiful • Joked I️t wold be horrible • Scenic window view • Piping in building • Vintage prison feel • No window kitchen • L shaped lounge • Fridge for 12 people • Exposed brick work • Hard working convicts that built this place • Zooms on someone on computer • Through window • Hello • Creeper text • Rly like room • Bat and gym and shops • Closest halls to lecture • Roll across halls in pjs • Marelyn drew his room across from rape factory • How does smoke say rape • Zoom on papers • Intense parting every night • Earlier this week • Him playing wit hair • Someone knocks on door • Hey what you doing • YouTube thing I️ do • Rightttt ok I’m I’ll leave you to I️t • Dan slaps his face • Forever alone meme • Thumbnail • Lesbian action • Sorry but he did try • Knocks on girls door • V pretty girl- purple nails, brown hair and tanned skin • Lizzie and Ellie upstairs • Indian accent • Wants to speak to girls • What do you want to speak to girls about • Oh I’m just making a video • Girl in grey beanie • Nicer room • Hi are you busy • No • Can you be thumbnail of my vid • Hot girl looks p uncomfortable other looks ok • V attractive • Take of all clothes and make out • Serious? Yes! • What are you filming • I️ tried • Post vid response • Showing uni halls • Aww kitty! • Hello! • What are you trying to say the game? 2011 Dan Mail Jan 16 P-23 D-19 • At uni • Sweatshirt grey • Guys aren’t fans • Periodically make them • Some text • T shirt • Dan is not on fire t shirt • Dead babies and underwear on paper • I️ love you Dan raffe • Drawing • Sticks up drawings on wall • Likes every time of music • Loves moulin rouge • Loves edge cronicals • Fav color gold • Bumto fav drink? • Can’t write back • Will email • Sabrina • PlZ don’t put glitter • Hello kitty • Team Jacob • Make twilight vid • Native American likes • Basketball bracelet • Matt Belemy heart hands • Pokémon drawing • Toy zebra • Unfold letter • Huge letter • Chain cow • Paper crane • Short attention span • Can’t say happy birthday to everyone • Silver candle • Evie • Freddie off skins • Big compliment • Hawaiian Punch mix • Lava • Kiss marks on envelope • He likes native Americans • Dan get the hula hoops off Phil • Condoms • Put butterfly tattoos on face • Earrings • Friend walked in on him in bathroom • Drink not for him • Dramatic music • Tampon with his face and Phil’s face on I️t • Few of them • Disturbed • Scared • Stains • Horror laughs • Beheaded doll • Decorates Wall • Heart hands • Why the hell have you watched • Space background • Shorter in future WORLD’S FASTEST COIN STACKER Feb 23 P-24 D-19 • In uni I️ think • Uni sweatshirt • Long time no see • Had haircut • Likes I️t • Guinness world record tried to get him to break his record • People cried over him cutting hair • He hated his hair • Phil wanted Dan to say he spent previous night asleep on someone’s floor so that’s why he looks like dying monkey • Me Phil Bryony Ed • (Paper lilies and eddplant) • Other non internet people • Omg that hair... • Fastest stack of coins • After ten minutes of practice • Dan’s teem has spit shirts • Phil’s has stripes • Phil’s stack falls • Then Dan’s • He blames everyone in room • Acted humble but I️t wasn’t ok • 38 secs • Phil is confident he can beat him • Dan says Phil is just a jumble of nerves • This is hilarious • Dan’s falls • 31.617 Phil has new record • One good thing has to happen to Phil in his life • Dan was happy for him • Shot to him crying on bed • Compete against roger black • Olympic • Fastest one handed toilet tool • Ik I️ look retardo • Cocky • Katie weasel • His roll failed • Dan disqualified • Final fantasy music sad • Never wipe him again • V sore loser lol • Went home last week • Suitcase full of letters • Falls off chair Dan Mail 2 Mar 3 P-24 D-19 • Uni • On red spinning chair • Necklace thing? • Can’t react • Happy birthday changes camera angle • Happy birthday at this point • Good friend who showed the video • Now he never has to do that again • Never not show a letter • Pink llama • Llama hat • Cool girls always wear them • He can’t bc he’s boy • In vid he will • Dan mobile drawing • How hair is? • Straighten I️t • Dan and Phil in lot of things • Says envelope weirdly • Dancing in underwear in pic • Naked playing xbox drawing • Talented creeper • Has to stop recording every letter • Retarded • Good work my minions- for laying down • Prize for whoever finds how many time he says awesome and incredible • Hello kitty • Silly band (OMG) • Justin Bieber stickers • Guessed Indiana • Looks like brendon urie • Seeing panic in April • I️ pad but didn’t have any spare ones • Kristen Stewart disabled face • Porn • The game • Fussing over camera quality • Teacher thought she’s weird for thinking microwave is onomatopoeia • Will there be Pinof 3 • Kisses from Bulgaria • Bebe from Bulgaria has friend • Summer time or vampire money fav song on album • Ties up hair • Looks like troll • Likes my dimples • Nickname- bear SCREAMMMMM • Placenta fav word • Pandas over koalas • Fav yougurt vanilla • Dogs over cat • Plays piano, drums, ocurina? • Oh dear another box... • Lots of love and blood • Another decapprd doll • Actual placenta ? • Another vid later • Updated wall • In apartment red • Tv episodes • Fiesta music • The game on his door PSYCHO FRENCH TEACHER Apr 22 P-24 D-19 • In dorm • Twilights last shirt • Danacodes • New series • 16 • Gcses • Thought he was good • Doctor brown • New teacher • Not mister- doctor • Woofs and meows • Friend joe • Dog biscuits in drawer • Broken cds • Coffee cups disappear • Dan saw coffee cup • 20 dirty coffee mugs • Everyone looked • Locking people in cupboard • Singing alpha theme song • Translate in French • Csi • Had clothes in drawers • All go home bc dr brown • Runaway teacher • awkward silence • I️ was abused as a child • Vanished • Hilarious teacher • Got C • Sadness • Pom bear massacure was good (last video) • Excited from Easter Dan Mail 3 May 11 P-24 D-19 • I️ love you robot shirt • In dorm • Sunglasses they fall • Conclusion to trilogy • Sorry for being ugly • Other idk • Summer here • Wasp • Guess 13 minutes • Cool names • John and Susan • Star sign is Gemini • Such a strong man • Never throws away • Likes girl band kpop • Another boy yayyy • Not going to small things • Drops camera • Also lovemaking wrist accessories • Danmark • Plays wow • Another boy yes • Card that represents maturity • Where’s free socks? • 2005 on MySpace likes into shakari • I️ must be depressed • Ninja Jew • Tongue tattoos • Does one • Fire • Banana trumpet edit fail • Handlebar mushdash would suit him • Fantasy about you in bed bath fantasy about cutting him open while naked Phil watches tied up • Bra • Playboy perfume • Valentines cards for him and Phil • Would be breaking guidelines if shown • Creepy doll with hair • O_____x • Next dan mail at home bc he’s going home for spring break • Text saying it’s now may 11 and already filmed I️t • Delia Smith Gamer girls are HAWT June 7 P-24 D-19 • At Phil’s place • Graphic tee • Bi annual vlog • Raped and pillaged by vids • Filming at his flat for no reason • Background boring jazz I️t up • Gets pillow • Hair at lion mane • 2nd June finished exams • Woke up in morning of each exam and wrote notes • Don’t-do-don’t deserve to pass • Paying to procrastinate • Good luck! • I️t only gets worse as u get older • Last year in La... • Don’t like Wii U • But u probs don’t care • Do girls like games • Mario with grandma • Guitar hero is good • Question applies to boys too • Going to be 20 • Tramantic • Complete child • Youngest youtuber • Still young and pretty • Vyou • Redesigning website • 5000 unanswered • Going back soon • Video ideas • Would you rather • Him and friend playing • Don’t know you friend will be lol • Phil • PHIL IS WEARING CORNIELA SHIRT I️ THINK • mildly sexual • Ask me ask me ask me! • Byeeee • Totoro dancing • Delia Smith I️ Am Mexican Aug 15 P-24 D-20 • In Phil’s place • In black couch • Time machine • Was in Sicily for two weeks • Zelda? Watercolour shirt • Shorts • Looks black/ Mexican • P offensive • Jumpcut to his room • Clothes everywhere • Filmed two things at Sicily • Snorkelling • Jumpcut • Bright blue trunks • Music • Evil Black Sea urchins • Death balls • Last day at catacombs • Dead bodies • Freaky but awesome • Wall of dead babies • Reading festival • Reading and Leeds • Every year at end of August • Wristbands • Been for last four years • Doche patrol • Thin wrists so they make him look less like Ethiopian orphan • Nice to have color • Pictures • With two guys and girl sitting at knees • Other dude • One guy has purple hair • Tents • Best moments in live • Good camper • Did I️ mention I’m going with Phil • Come stalk me • Looking forward to mcr • Muse is reason he and Phil had to go • Twilights last • 10th anniversary • Origin of symmetry his and Phil’s all time fav album • Highlight • Lost Dan Mail 4 video file • Comment best live bands • Muse, arcade fire, the prodigy, rage against machine, panic • Shorts • Red pants • His and Phil’s new apartment • Gif of him on breakfast bar • Bloopers • Traditionally Aeroplane Adventures 2- with danisnotonfire Sept 15 P-24 D-20 • Saying title • Zoom on face • Had cold which is why he sounds like duck • Chris and pj • Chris won contest • Phil next to Dan • Free seats • Cheese tray and chicken salad • Lemon scented hand towel • Free champagne • Phil laughs • Phil shouted at him for blowing bubbles • *embarrassed Phil wishes I️ didn’t exist • Coffin toilets • Us four are least business class people • There is not enough business in this class • Theo pthetis • From dragons den • On same flight • Phil pointed I️t out • Anticlimax • In robe endscreen • Music EPIC PRANK OFF! Dec 1 P-24 D-20 • In room at new apartment • Bright blue shirt • Wirrow drawing above bed • Blue stripped pillows • Tv in side • Guitar hero stuff • Other side of bed • Video contest • Prank off • From mr wiggly things • Don’t prank pets • Pillow on door and Phil walks in • Phil wearing plaid blue • Do you want a Ribena- yeah please- shoots him- • On laptop • Party popper • Phil in shower • Robert Patterson • Porn on computer • Salt in coffee • Their laughs sound same aw • Dribbled all over himself • Goes to get dan • Washes out mouth • 500 pounds • 5 best get Danisnotonfire tshirt • Powder in Phil’s hair dryer • On same side of bed • I️ hate you • Worst day ever • Making sequel to this called death of Dan If Dan was a Suerhero.. Dec 21 P-24 D-20 • On couch against wall • Party tricks • Flip wrists • Dining room table • Pick up chicks • Hippo noise • Film chronicle shirt video contest • Satrodophone poke song • Polar bears on face • Phil says he isn’t talented • Llamas kill everyone • Famous places • World becomes llama • Calming music at end 2012 Narcoleptic Laptop Feb 3 P-25 D-20 Deleted PRANK WINNERS! Deleted danisnotonfire Next Vlogger! May 6 P- 25 D-20 • Sitting on bed, camera is facing door • Joker t shirt • Bulky computer • Black comforter • Blue, black, and tan ish pillow • My name is dan • Known as Danisnotonfire • Made YouTube account 2006 • Oct 12, 2006 • Was 14 years old (haha same as me!) • And nothing I️ could do about I️t • British from Workingham • Currently lives in Manchester • Tell people stories of horrific experiences to himself • Near death experiences- Jamaica jumping off cliff clip plays • Cut to Manchester uni sweatshirt annoying people in cinemas • Time mum red browsing history • Llama hat in that • Vlogging communicates with people on personal level • When he says he stabbed someone bc no left hand scissors an gets comment ‘FAG’ • User blurred out • Think got wrong one • PaigeeStudd- basically saying I️ feel you • Makes I️t worthwhile • Channel is support group for people who hate peoples • Excited *effects* about next vlogger take vids to next level • Tapes lamp shade to ceiling for lighting • Better vids to laugh at • Danisnotonfire outro SuperNote 2012- THE LLAMARMY Oct 1 P- 25 D-21 • Black screen w/- “we are interrupting the normal Dan broadcasting schedule.” • Woah Dan this isn’t a Thursday • In living room • Eclipse shirt • Thursday still happening • Looks bare- old shelf • Team captain of supernote 2012 • Wearing bracelet? • Ended up winning • 2008 • YouTube community • Longest note out of mouth • You guys if want to join my team • Sexy, sad, manly • Video response • Police car outside • Team name: llamarmy • P big deal • You guys post vid responses, bullying him in comments, edit his face onto giraffes • Sweatpants grey • Longest note, llama hat and danasaur t shirt • And personal note • Others win totoros and wrist bands • Wow old vid • Phil comes in • Wearing grey make videos everyday shirt • Aww Phil looks so cute • Phil’s going to win • High five that hurts • Phil wearing llama hat • Phil lower note • ‘Dan you are so hot’ written below • Dan lasts longer • Underdogs • Get lots of people • Deadline Oct 31 • Danisnotonfire outro • Galaxy end Life’s Unanswerable Questions Oct 12 P-25 D-21 • Collab with Alex day • Wearing multicoloured tee • Sitting in front of fire place • Tetris lights • Hello internet • Unanswerable questions annoy • Found website in comic sans • Erradicate I️t • He likes to share opinions • What came first chicken or egg- egg • Tree would make sound • Bothers him • Ate tounge what would taste like • Tried to fail and succeed what have you done • Dan answers with sandwhich • Color is mirror • I️t has no color • Chameleon • Car at speed of light turn on headlights • Paradox • Can guy names nick have nickname • 4 out of 5 diahrea enjoy I️t? • Marsquakes-no • What is the speed of dark • Why can’t woman put mascara on with mouth closed • Dictionary in dictionary? Yes • What is meaning of life • Sirens • Best way to lose weight- cut self in half • Dan believes in aliens • Aliens aren’t going to look weirder than jellyfish • Bus driver closedoor • Can cry underwater • How old would you be if didn’t know your age • Someone vanished w/o trace how do people know missing • Timmy for a decade • Don’t try to get people to like you for the wrong reasons • Outro • Sexy endscreen dance • More interesting than space endscreen Men vs Women Dec 8 P-25 D-21 • On couch • B/w Brit flag pillow • Camp and grey t shirt • Earrings that are multicoloured • Which sex has is harder • Cat ears • Carrie • Opinions aren’t meant to be taken seriously black screen • Hit I️t rn • Getting kicked in balls or giving birth • Rly hurts • Guys never ask to be kicked in ball again • Squeezing watermelon out of ass • Dan wasn’t aware girls couldn’t lie on front • Nipples are useless • Joy of lactation • Man can’t have multiple orgasms • Sucks • Men get arosed and no one knows • Old ladies read 50 shades • Think grandma • Men can pee standing up and that sucks • Girls can multitask • What is so bad about periods • Don’t get into argument • Don’t ask if I’m Period • Dan had done that • Bleeding out of penis forever • Women live longer • Men don’t understand women have I️t harder • Women win • Debated in comments • Both sexy endscreen 2013 GOOD NEWS EVERYONE Jan 12 P-25 D-21 • In living room • Black long t shirt • So cold • Spicky jumper from topman • Jump in jeans • Repression how hardcore he is while life • Ryan from X factor wearing I️t • Burn I️t? • Mouse in bedroom • Trying to catch I️t humanity • BBC radio 1 • Phil comes next to him • Phil’s been making him not swear • Every Sunday unless they get fired • Watch entire show • 7-9 pm • Phil in blue sweashirt • Schedules • He’s loosey goosy uploading • Shit looking photos need more of • YouTube angry mob • You tubers don’t follow through • Dan Unspecific • Video on school • Never really talked about • Have nice day unless I’m Jamaica then I hate you bc you’re warm • Endscreen zooming on house objects w/ sexy music 2014 Dan and Phil SIM SURPRISE PHONE CALL! Dec 18 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Dan in horn hoodie • Phil in purple sh jumper • No pillows in back • Surprise calling random person • Phil is scared • Awkward on phone • Oh my goddd • Person is freaking out • Casey • Was just doing hw • English hw about them • How much she fangirls about them • Did you see photo of dan at bbc in Dino onesie • Not saying I️ hate but that was terrible • Told Phil about cat dying on YouTube • Watching for 2 Years • Collab- so many favs • Fav animal llama • Sorry about Phil • I️ need to tweet about this • That was so funny • Animal impression helps • Maybe next victim 2015 HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DAN AND PHIL TOUR Oct 4 P- 28 D- 24 • Sitting in theatre looking behind chairs • Lots of stuff on stage • Rehearsal space • Dan in eclipse • Phil in constallion lion • 5 days • More tickets • Oct 8- Nov 4 • Danandphilbook.com • Want audience participation • Come hour early • 7 sec, weird kid, isg, crafts • P.O. box videos from back in day • Might not be able to keep I️t • Thinking about people from rest of world • Dan winks • Phil does I️t too to help 2016 HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DAN AND PHIL TOUR! April 19 P-29 D-24 • In dressing room • From 360? • Dan in plain black t • Phil in show attire • Sup-a-de-fiddle • Dried mango • Cool creative ways • Arrive early • 7 sec, • Show box • Weird kid, show examples • Craft examples • No bigger than medium otter • Can’t keep them • Phil said mems • Chow • For now • Was that necessary? HOW TO GET INVOLVED IN #TATINOF Aug 12 P-29 D-25 • In same room • Oh it’s same video lol