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vandorens-archive · 4 years

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ten questions tag | i was tagged by: @mshelleys, @emdrabbles, @pe-ersona, @evergrcen and @septemberliterature. thank you so much, and i’m so sorry i’m getting to this so late!

everything is under the cut!

@mshelleys

i. if you could change the genre of one of your wips, what would you change it to and how would the story/characters change?

So, trahison already features a ghost and a brief stay at a manor. have i considered turning it into a full fledged horror because of that? perhaps.

ii. do you think of your characters as actors playing a part in a movie or as people in history actually doing things that effect the future?

i think of them as actors playing in one long, crazy, unpredictable play.

iii. role swap your protagonist and antagonist but keep their personalities the same; how different would your story be?

honestly, not different at all, because when it comes to it, the subject of trahison’s antagonist (s) is pretty complex.

iv. are any of your characters based on you, family, friends, or someone else you know?

oh, absolutely. my characters range between self inserts, to characters i wish i was more like, to characters that are essentially walking, talking, breathing love letters to the people i care about.

v. how long have you had your main protagonist(s) of your wip(s)?

I’ve been working with marin, nate and ruby for years, long before they were even called that and were a part of a dystopian crime novel (don’t ask). antoine joined them soon after, followed a while later by beth and isadora, and miles was invented during the plotting stage.

vi. do you prefer to write chronologically or just make a bunch of scenes and order them after they’re written?

it depends on what i’m working on and how serious i am about it, but if we’re only talking about trahison, then chronologically!

vii. imagine the problem in your wip is sorted out, how would the protagonist recount the story to their children if they asked?

with a far away look in his eyes and an uncharacteristic fondness in his voice, marin would turn to his children, and tell them how extraordinary his friends were during his university years—their zeal, their inquisitiveness, and conveniently leaving out the uncomfortable loyalty they all had towards each other, until time and life’s commands separated them.

viii. favorite (non-spoilery) line(s) of your current wip(s)?

This small bit of description, albeit a little purple prose-y, is one that i’m very, very proud of.

“ The morning rain had made its grave in the dirt, the bittersweet smell—like exotic black tea—rising into the air. It was the night pluviophiles came to dance. If I think hard, I can still taste the ghost of the raindrops on my tongue and sense Beth’s radiating warmth beside me; its own ghost ” - trahison, chapter three

ix. if your wip was a movie, could you see it be done in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, or 2010s? why that decade in particular?

so, fun fact, i hadn’t decided when to set trahison (see: the big question mark in my plotting notebook) but i have recently made up my mind and decided to set it in the seventies! if it was a film, then i could see it being made in seventies france! very a la the dreamers.

x. are you able to just make up a story on the spot, or do you need help (plot generators or other outside influences)?

sometimes i’ll take the help of prompts or media, but otherwise i just come up with things on my own!

@emdrabbles

i. what do the names of your main characters mean? did you pick them for the meaning or another reason?

i picked the trahison characters’ names based on two things: how much it related to the character’s backstory or personality, and how pleasing it sounded out loud. here are the meanings of their names:

marin — of the sea

ruby — deep red; precious stone; behold a son

elizabeth — god is my oath

nathaniel — gift from god

antoine — priceless one; beyond praise

isadora — gift of Isis

ii. what book are you currently reading?

I’m currently reading the time machine by h.g wells!

iii. last sentence written?

“ When the end of the world comes — I’ll film it ” — copycat, or the one where i predict the future.

iv. who are some of your faceclaims?

i usually don’t use faceclaims, but if i had to choose:

marin van doren (trahison) — timor simakov

eloi hill (psychophantia) — maxence danet fauvel

cass parker (penny lane) — monica tomas

v. gimme some worldbuilding facts!!

alright, here’s one: in the world of psychophantia, not only is the magic system and your powers controlled by your morals, but so is your social ranking, your education, and any future you may have—to an extent.

vi. do you outline? if so, do you have a specific method?

i’m a plotter and only really work well with a solid outline, however, my outlines range from a series of messy, incoherent bullet points to meticulous scene-by-scene planning based around the three act structure. this post is my go to for plotting assistance!

vii. favourite author?

Like every tumblr user ever, i love donna tartt and maggie stiefvater, but i’m also a huge fan of f.scott fitzgerald, agatha christie and vera caspary!

viii. what is your oldest wip?

trahison! It went through many, many changes — from changes in genre to changes in character names, and there’s still a possibility that it could change even further.

ix. what is your favourite wip?

every wip i reblog under my #others. tag! You all are so damn talented!

x. where do you get your inspiration from?

everywhere around me! from conversations i have with people, from films and books i consume, from the music on the radio — i like that anything and everything can inspire me to create.

@pe-ersona

i. in one sentence, explain your current wip!

a group of secretive students attempt to become immortal, only to uncover the worst parts of themselves — and each other — as they do.

ii. was writing your main interest or did you have other interests?

although writing is my main interest (see: my social media bio on every platform ever), i also like to journal, sew, cook and make videos! my interests usually do have to do with the intention of creation.

iii. what’s your favorite genre to write? to read?

I love writing horror and mysteries. those are my favourite genres, but i also love reading a good contemporary romance!

iv. what is one goal you have for your wip this year? how’s that goal going?

to finish the first draft! so far, not so bad, though i do wish i could write more, but unfortunately, time constraints plus school restrict me from doing so.

v. how old is your wip? or when did you start writing your wip?

trahison is nearly three years old, but i only started writing the current version of it a year ago.

vii. what scene made you cry or laugh or both?

these lines made me laugh out loud the first time i wrote them:

“ Up the stairs stumbled Miles, my slovenly genius roommate. He grinned at the giggles and winked at the exasperated stares.

The gall of him!

I wanted to be him.

He managed to find his balance enough to reach our dorm. I immediately stepped back to let him in, and to make sure I was in no association with his uncomposed state. Nate gave a disapproving look at his back as he staggered in.

I took another step back, raised a pointed eyebrow, and closed the door ” — trahison, chapter three

vii. how many ocs does your wip have? who’s your favourite?

my main wip, trahison, has six main characters. out of the main six, my favourite has to be nathaniel. he is very much the epitome of pure, and sometimes i wonder how he ended up in the middle of such a dark plot.

vii. you have a brand new idea for a wip, what do you do?

brainstorm, brainstorm, brainstorm. scribble down whatever the hell pops up in my brain, attempt to link it together by a thin string of yarn, cross my fingers and hope for the best.

ix. you are having your first book-signing, where are you?

i’m in a small bookstore, nestled in a corner near the storage room. almost no one knows about this town, so the line is small but chatty, fans exchanging theories and analysing certain paragraphs. the sight of them makes me feel warm inside.

x. you have the ability to live in any book, publishing or not, what would it be?

would it be too cliche to say the harry potter universe? other than that, other worlds i would love to be a part of is the world in my novel penny lane, or in midst of a detective story.

@evergrcen / @septemberliterature

i. how did you come up with your wip’s title? what does it mean in relation to the story?

okay, so i discovered the word ‘trahison’ after hearing my french teacher say it, and immediately knew i had to use it for something. ‘trahison’ means betrayal or treason in french, which is one of the main themes in the novel.

ii. do you title your chapters? if so, what’s your favourite?

I don’t, but I would love to!!

iii. what’s a recent line you really like?

Not a very dramatic or noteworthy line, but here’s one from a poem i’m writing:

“ So the two of you get in the car, proceeding to have an argument with the radio ” — examples of easy solutions, or the one where the internet has no answers.

iv. are there any writing-related quotes you really like?

“i think a lot of art is trying to make someone love you” — keaton henson

v. do you have an idea for a cover design for your story?

A black background with serif text, that’s it. It’s simple. It’s mysterious. It’s the type of vibe I want to exude.

vi. what sort of au can you imagine your story being?

...dark academia au anyone?

just kidding. in all seriousness, though, i can see a royalty/political au for trahison, or a medieval fantasy au!

vii. which oc would be the most angry with you as the writer?

eloi. i really need to give that poor boy a break.

viii. if you had to tell the story from a different pov, which character would you choose?

ruby! she’s the token enigma of trahison, so i think her point of view would be very interesting to see.

ix. what would be your oc’s taste in music if they lived in our world?

OKAY let’s see:

marin — classic rock, so the who, queen, def leppard.etc

ruby — that one person who you’re pretty sure only listens to classical music, but is actually very attuned to modern day music. she would mostly listen to female singer-songwriters, so take lorde, marina, lana del rey, and other such artists.

beth — take one look at her playlist, and you’ll see that ninety five percent of it is mitski, while the other five percent is bedroom pop. she would like very tender, calm, cry to in bed music.

Antoine — same as marin, but add other modern day music artists with eclectic sounds, such as twenty one pilots, arctic monkeys, that sort of thing.

nathaniel — classical music, instrumentals, and film soundtracks make up his playlist. if it has sung words, he won’t listen to it. has little to no understanding of modern day music and is too scared to find out more about it.

isadora — 2000’s diva pop plays in the background of her life. rihanna is her go to whenever she gets to control the party. Don’t be surprised if ‘rich girl’ by gwen stefani starts playing in your head at the sight of her.

x. what’s one personal goal you want to achieve by the end of the story?

finishing it with pride!

#( FINALLY i've caught up with everything i've been tagged in ahhh )#games.#long post

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sapphicscholar · 6 years

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hi so I didn't know who to ask but in my psych class we're learning about adolescent psychology, & there was this unit on developing interest in relationships. It went way into detail on how the brain changes during that time, which was interesting, but ofc my gay ass couldn't relate. at the end all it said was 'it's different for homosexuals.' I guess I'm wondering if you know of any way to learn about psychology relating to LGBT people? srsly im thirsty for anything in academia I can relate to

(same psych anon) that was a pretty specific question so I guess like do you have any info or know of any links/ websites/places to learn about lgbt history and lives and stuff like that in an academic way? bc I love school & learning but I’ve always wanted to learn more about myself and people like me, but they never teach that in schools.

Oh my gosh SO MANY THINGS! Okay, so, the psych stuff is pretty outside of my knowledge but I asked my gf (she does the science in this relationship while my gay ass just reads a whole lot of books), and she recommends Helen Fisher and looking at the researchers at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality or the Kinsey Institute, as well as The Sage Encyclopedia of LGBTQ Studies (it’s an online resource a lot of universities subscribe to). But I’d also say that as far as thinking about developmental narratives, LGBTQ memoirs are a great place to start, especially since so many of them go through their own experiences of having to confront this heteronormative, cis-centric narrative that just doesn’t fit them and their lives.

So some good queer history authors are: John D’Emilio (comprehensive, if a bit male-centric), Lillian Faderman (writing all about lesbian history, including more recent history; very well-respected; she’s got some issues in her scholarship that by no means discount it as a whole, but I’m happy to talk more about if you want), Michael Bronski (his Queer History of the United States is really accessible), George Chauncey (it’s just of NYC, but still fun), Estelle B. Freedman, Foucault (though it’s not quite “history,” it’s a kind of history meets theory of regimes of power and how sexuality got tied up in that), Martha Vicinus (I adore her), Valerie Traub (goes all the way back to the early modern period), and so many others who really focus more on niche history, so I won’t list them here. There are some web resources, but I know a lot of them are databases that are subscription-based. I’ll see what I can’t dig up in the next couple of days as far as free websites. I know they exist; it’s just a matter of having the time to look…

Okay, you didn’t specifically say you were interested in literature but bc I taught literature and think it’s a great way to learn about the history of a group, I’m gonna list some anyway and you can feel free to disregard!

Patricia Highsmith, The Price of Salt (or Carol, depends on the year it was printed) – you can also check out the movie! I find the two to be complementary (the book gives you Therese’s POV almost exclusively, whereas the movie shows much more of Carol’s story)

Alison Bechdel, Fun Home is her graphic novel/memoir that’s really excellent, but the comic strip that sort of launched her as a public persona (at least within the lesbian community) was Dykes to Watch Out For, quite a bit of which is available for free online

Henry James, The Bostonians – one of the first recognizable depictions of a queer female character in literature (not really…I’d trouble that as a professor, but that’s how it gets taught in general, and it was one of the first books where even contemporary reviewers were quick to note that there was something “wrong” or “morbid,” which was 19th C. code for what would come to be understood as lesbian sexuality, about Olive Chancellor) – free online, though it’s James at his most….Jamesian, which means it’s not that accessible

The poetry of Emily Dickinson! It’s all free online. There’s a ton of it, though much of it isn’t obviously queer

James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room – gets into bisexual identity in a way a lot of works don’t do; on the sadder side…fair warning

Virginia Woolf! Especially Orlando or Mrs. Dalloway – the former has been called “the longest and most charming love-letter in literature” (to Woolf’s longtime friend and lover, Vita Sackville-West) and deals with the fluidity of gender and time; the latter has quite a few flashbacks to the brief childhood romance of the protagonist and her friend. Both of them are great, but Woolf, as a modernist, can have a writing style that’s difficult to get into at first (for instance, time really isn’t stable or linear, which is something I adore about her, but definitely takes some getting used to). They’re both available free online through Project Gutenberg

Radclyffe Hall, The Well of Loneliness – it’s a classic, in the sense that it’s one of those books people sort of expect you to have read if you do lesbian literature. It’s certainly an interesting story and told well, but it’s not even close to a happy ending and is rather conciliatory to prevailing norms (though even still it was taken to the courts under the obscenity laws) - free online, though!

Sarah Waters – a contemporary novelist who writes almost all historical fiction about queer women! Some of her stories are better known (e.g. Tipping the Velvet), but they’re pretty much all great. Varying degrees of angst, but definitely an accessible read

Maggie Nelson, The Argonauts – sort of experimental in form (it’s fiction with footnotes!); it deals with a lesbian woman coming to terms with her partner’s transition and her own identity during the process

E.M. Forster, Maurice – even though it was first drafted in the 1910s, Forster edited it throughout his life, and, given the subject matter, which was also autobiographical, and the prevailing attitudes at the time, the book was only published posthumously in the 70s

Colette’s Claudine series – it’s long (multi-volume) but sort of a classic – they’re all old enough to be free online, though the English translation is harder to come by

Eileen Myles – lesbian poet and novelist – I’d recommend Inferno but some of her poetry is free online

Rita Mae Brown – Rubyfruit Jungle and Oranges Are not the Only Fruit are both quite good, though, especially the latter deals with religiously-motivated homophobia, so I know at least my girlfriend, who dealt with a lot of that from her family, opted not to read it for her own mental health.

Tony Kushner, Angels in America – this two-part play deals with the AIDS crisis in America – it’s been turned into a TV miniseries, a Broadway play, and a movie, some of which are available online

Really anything by David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs – both are gay authors who deal a lot with short stories (a ton of memoir/autobiographical stuff) – the former is a bit funnier, but they both have enough sarcasm and dry wit even in dark situations to make them fast reads

Alan Ginsburg’s poetry

Walt Whitman’s poetry (though it can be really fucking racist)

Binyavanga Wainaina, One Day I Will Write About This Place – does deal with issues of sexual abuse as a warning

Anything by Amber Hollibaugh (she writes a lot about class and butch/femme dynamics – quite a bit of her stuff has been scanned and uploaded online)

Michelle Tea – was a slam poet; recovering alcoholic; fantastically funny and talented author and delightful human being if you ever get the chance to meet her or go to one of her readings

Randy Shilts, And the Band Played On – more a work of investigative journalism than anything, the work is a stunning indictment of the indifference of the US government during some of the worst years of the AIDS crisis, but it also provides a good bit of gay history

Terry Galloway Mean Little Deaf Queer – deals with one woman’s experience of losing her hearing and navigating the world and the Deaf and deaf communities as a once-hearing person – she’s sort of acerbic and always funny;

Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex – grapples with intersex identity in a way that’s still far too rare in literature

Theodore Winthrop, Cecil Dreem – just rediscovered about two years ago, this is one of the few pretty happy gay novels from the nineteenth century! Free online!

Leslie Feinberg, Stone Butch Blues – pretty clear from the title, but deals with a butch character’s struggles with gender identity (takes T to pass for a while, but then gets alienated from the lesbian community; eventually stops taking T, but still struggles with what that means for her) – Feinberg’s wife made it free online for everyone after Feinberg’s death (the book had a limited print run, which made finding copies both hard and expensive)

Harvey Fierstein, Torch Song Trilogy – trilogy later adapted for film about an effeminate gay man (who also performs as a drag queen) and his life and family

Oscar Wilde – his novels aren’t explicitly gay, but they often dance around it thematically, at least; his heartbreaking letter, De Profundis, which he wrote to his lover while imprisoned for “gross indecency,” is available online

Anything by Dorothy Alison

Audre Lorde, Zami: A New Spelling of My Name - great as a memoir and a cultural history

There’s so many more but this is so my jam I suspect I’ve already rambled too long

If you’re interested in film, here are a few:

Paris Is Burning (a film about drag ball culture in NYC)

Fire – Deepa Mehta (it’s on YouTube in the US)

Boys Don’t Cry – there is a lot of homophobia and transphobia in the film, so it’s definitely one you’ll want to be in the right mindset to watch (I, for one, have only watched it once)

But I’m a Cheerleader – over-the-top mockumentary-esque film that satirizes conversion therapy and the Christian “documentaries” that claimed to showcase their successes (RuPaul is in it as well)

Desert Hearts – one of the earliest films to leave open the possibility of a happy ending for the lesbian couple

Hedwig and the Angry Itch – deals with gender identity and feelings of not belonging (also a fabulous musical)

Philadelphia – about one man’s experience of discrimination while dying of AIDS

There are plenty of lighter films, but I figure these tend to also talk more seriously about some issues as well

I don’t know if anyone but me made it to the end of this post, but there’s also so much fun queer theory out there that I won’t get into here, but I’m always up for giving more recommendations!

#ask me #anon #professor rambles #lgbtq history #lgbtq literature #book recommendations #film recommendations

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spiritxiii · 7 years

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Get to Know Me 2017

For anyone that cares (plus I’ve got the free time). Was tagged by @pandykae , so Here We Go!~

Most Recent:

1) Drink: Water

2) Phone Call: Brother

3) Text Message: “Rad~”

4) Song: LIFE WILL CHANGE Cover by RichaadEB

5) Time I Cried?: When two of my dogs died a week apart from each other...

Have You:

6) Dated Someone Twice: Every girlfriend I’ve had, as we get together, broke up, but got back together, but break up again.

7) Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Not really.

8) Been Cheated On: Luckily no (as far as I was aware).

9) Lost Someone Special: yeah... no comment. Not family thankfully, but still. And not by death, they moved away.

10) Been Depressed: That’s the thing, I’m always depressed - just most days they’re courteous to not to stomp me into the ground (personifying my depression helps a lot).

11) Gotten Drunk: Only had sips of alcohol. WANTED to throw up, but didn’t. All the ones I’ve had have not been that great (just turned 21 this year by the by).

12-14) Three Favorite Colors: Amethyst Purple, Scarlet Red, and Gray.

In The Last Year:

15) Made New Friends: Yes, two new college pals~ GEEKS UNITE!~

16) Fallen Out of Love: Had nobody to love the last year.

17) Laughed Until You Cried: TWICE

18) Found Out Someone was Talking About You: Well gee this post sure does sound like that! But in person, nope.

19) Met Someone Who Changed You: To an extent, my college pal Emery. He’s got different set of political and social view, so its good to converse with someone with such a different point of view and find common ground.

20) Found Out Who Your Friends Are: No sinking friendships, so nope~

21) Kissed Someone on Your Facebook List: I mean they’re either Family, In Relationships, or Far Away, so no.

General:

22) How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: All. NEXT!

23) Do You Have Pets: 3 doge. All gurls. Much cute~ Oldest to Youngest: Pilani, Princess, and Harley.

24) Do You Want to Change Your Name: Well, I don’t know another Calvin in person, so not at all! I is unique!~

25) What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: Tried Alcohol with my family. blugh.

26) What Time Did You Wake Up: Twice today, 4:30am and 2pm. Naps are nice in Summer~

27) What were you doing at Midnight Last Night: Watching YouTube Videos and playing Shadowverse on Steam.

28) Name Something You Can’t Wait For: SPLATOON 2/SPLA2N!~

29) When Was the Last Time You Saw Your Mom: *Looks to the left* Just now.

30) What is One Thing You Wish You Could Change In Your Life: SAVING. MONEY.

31) What Are You Listening To Right Now: *Headache med & Lowes commercials in the background, this sentence being typed out at this very moment*

32) Have You Ever Talked to Someone Named Tom: No? Weird.

33) Something That is Getting On Your Nerves: Modern U.S. Political Circumstances. Otherwise nothing really irritates me to the point of rage. Irritation sure, but not violence.

34) Most Visited Website: Not counting the Google - YouTube, Twitch, Twitter, Tumblr, and CRUNCHYROLL!~

Info About Me:

35) Mole(s): I have black dots on my arms, but otherwise no large bumps.

36) Mark(s): Not a mark, but I have a lump & scar from that one time I split my head open on the corner of a coffee table when I was 5 - Behind and slightly above my right ear. I thought it was a pimple for the longest time (DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REMOVE THE IMMOVABLE).

37) Childhood Dream: I always wanted to be a teacher. Getting there~

38) Hair Color: Really Dark “Mistakable for Black” Brown.

39) Long or Short Hair: Getting Mid Range, but short. Prefer my bangs be just long enough to cover my THICK, LUSCIOUS BROWS!

40) Do You Have a Crush On Someone: Who Doesn’t? At this time, not really.

41) What do You Like About Yourself: My ability to be fit and yet still somehow have a pillow belly drum. Also my unstoppable FACIAL HAIR!~

42) Piercings: Nadda.

43) Blood Type: Honestly, no idea.

44) Nickname: Cal? Spirit (not often), Dante (FFXIV character name).

45) Relationship Status: S i n g l e a n d P r o u d ! ~

46) Zodiac: GEMINI!~ (And I do Have a Twin Brother)

47) Pronouns: Him/He/His/San

48) Favorite Show: MY HERO ACADEMIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLUS ULTRA!!!~

49) Tattoos: No Plans, not against but that’s money to be spent elsewhere.

50) Right or Left Handed: Left, but well coordinated.

51) Surgery: When I was 8 or so [REDACTED].

52) Hair Dyed: Nah.

53) Sport: Racquetball and Archery. Used to play Soccer many moons ago.

54) Vacation: NEXT WEEK TO HAWAII!~

55) Pair of Trainers: Do Sun and Moon count?

56) Eating: HaRdLy! Only had a bowl of rice today.

57) Drinking: Ice cold water~

58) [REDACTED]

59) I’m About To: BREAK! Nah, watch more videos.

60) Waiting For: SPLATOON SPLATOON SPLATOON!~ Hawaii too!~

61) Want: See the above. Also Kobayashi Season 2 pls~

62) Get Married: Gotta find someone first, geez!

63) Career: Hopefully teaching. Otherwise writing in some fashion, OTHERWISE hire me please.

Which is Better:

64) Hugs or Kisses: Hugs are easier, so kisses when they do happen~

65) Lips or Eyes: Eyes draw me in more.

66) Shorter or Taller: I’m game for either, honestly a taller gal would be fantastic~

67) Older or Younger: Its a number, but I prefer slightly older gals.

68) Nice Arms or Nice Stomach?: As long as I could rest my head on them I’m good.

69) Sensitive or Loud?: Why not Both? I know I am!

70) Hook Up or Relationship: Much prefer a relationship.

71) Troublemaker or Hesitant: Hesitance implies thinking, so that. A lil trouble making ain’t bad so long as its in good fun~

Have I Ever:

72) Kissed a Stranger: Why?

73) Drank Hard Liquor: Took sips, not my thing.

74) Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: Does breaking them count? Otherwise their either on my face or on a counter I was at moments ago.

75) Turned Someone Down: Never had the opportunity if that’s what I think it means. In common day practice all the time, time is precious.

76) Sex on the First Date: If they offer, sure. Doubt it though.

77) Broken Someone’s Heart: At least 3.

78) Been Heart Broken: Once by relationship, twice when dogs died, and again when a grandmother figure of mine passed recently...

79) Been Arrested: Gotta Catch Me First. But nah, I’M A GOOD BOI!

80) Cried When Someone Died: Almost did, but I had to be strong for the rest of my family.

81) Fallen for a Friend: I mean all relationships should start as friends, so of course.

Do You Believe In:

82) Yourself: 9 Times Outta 10!~

83) Miracles: All the time.

84) Love at First Sight: Felt it once. Best relationship I had.

85) Santa Claus: Trade Secrets aren’t to be talked about in public forums!

86) Kiss On the First Date: In two relationships I had that turned out rocky.

Other:

87) Current Best Friend Name: Kaleb. Been Friends since before we were born. Kinda hard to not be friends with someone who you’ve bunked with since conception.

88) Eye Color: Dark “Almost Black” Brown.

89) Favorite Movie: shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... If I had one movie to watch till the end of my days... Lilo & Stitch.

90) Hobby: Card Games. Occasional Bow shooting. List making.

91) Favorite Book: If comic strips count, Calvin & Hobbes. Novels, A Series of Unfortunate Events. A singular, standalone book: The Odyssey & The Iliad.

92) Did You Have Fun with this List?: Yeah, though I’ve done similar before.

Anyone out there reading this, feel free to do so as well.

Um... tagging.

@belakitu @spazzythewolfie , and everyone else got tagged by Pandy (TRAITOR!~ nah, es good - Thanks for tagging me!~)

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a-sleepy-reader · 3 years

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The Secret History by Donna Tartt: an Analysis and Review

Foreword

Trigger warning for homicide, alcoholism, drug use, and suicide. If you want a review free of spoilers, please scroll to the section labelled ‘Conclusion/Review without spoilers.’

Introduction

The Secret History has made something of a comeback with help of an internet trend called ‘dark academia,’ an aesthetic focusing on slightly Gothic European styles and a passionate pursuit of knowledge, especially in the arts and humanities. The Secret History is something of a bible to the aesthetic, and upon reading it, I can certainly see why: set in New England, The Secret History has running themes of classics, college life, and a setting and character designs very similar to that of dark academia. Plus, a good murder story doesn’t hurt. Beyond the style of it, however, The Secret History still manages to be a thought-provoking, anxiety-inducing, and poetically-written story for aesthetic and mystery lovers alike.

Plot synopsis

Richard Papen feels aimless in life before he is accepted into Hampden college, New England, where his majors fly by with the seconds, from premed to English to Greek, where he attends a peculiar class with an eccentric teacher and equally strange students. Excluding Richard, just five attend this class: mysterious loner Henry, red-headed Charles, beautiful yet guarded Camilla, stylish and nervous Frances, and impulsive and obnoxious ‘Bunny.’ Deny it as he might, Richard aspires to be like them, with their fancy clothing and their rich families and their peculiar tastes, except for a few eccentricities perhaps.

Richard notices an intangible oddness between them; their leaving at odd hours, their whispered words, the way they never fail to get themselves into scraps. As it turns out, they were all attempting rituals, in Henry’s words, “...to lose one’s self, lose it utterly. And in losing it be born to the principle of continuous life, outside the prison of mortality and time.” Once successful, however, a disoriented Henry accidentally kills a man. The group frantically leave the scene and manage to avoid the police. All seems well for them until Bunny, who had been excluded from the ritual, finds out of their deed.

Neurotic and outgoing, the group worries Bunny will spill their secret to someone and only add to the problem of him blackmailing the group for money they soon run short of. After countless drunken confessions, careless jokes, and angry rants, the group is convinced Bunny will tell someone and have them all arrested… unless they stop him. After planning an elaborate murder, Bunny is pushed off a ledge and is hidden in peculiar Spring snow.

The police scout, and they investigate, but Bunny’s death is nonetheless concluded as a drunken accident. The case is closed and the students in Greek class lower by one.

At this time, Charles develops an addiction to alcohol, Henry, a more apparent recklessness for human life, Camilla, a romantic fondness for Henry, and Francis, panic attacks. Meanwhile, Richard suffocates his guilt with parties and cocaine. The group becomes increasingly conflicted and neurotic with guilt. The friends gradually begin to fall apart.

Meanwhile, the group’s professor, Julian, finds a letter sent to him by Bunny before he was murdered detailing the group’s schemes. Richard had always looked up to Julian, charismatic, friendly, and knowledgeable as he was, yet all Julian did is move away and stay silent about the affair. No tears, no mourning, just self-preservation. Richard’s perception of Julian is shattered.

Inexorably, the friends’ downfall reaches its climax once a drunk Charles attacks Henry, blaming him for everything that led to Bunny’s murder. The pair fight tumultuously until Henry seizes the gun, puts his finger on the trigger, and shoots himself. Richard theorises the motive to be of Henry’s belief of death being a noble act, one showing more bravery than Julian’s ‘cowardice.’ The rest of the group lives on the outside. On the inside, though, they are more deceased than Henry.

Years later, Richard writes his recollection of the murder, the only story on his mind. Francis survives a suicide attempt, Charles is still addicted to alcohol, and Camilla still does not return Richard’s feelings of love. The story concludes with Richard dreaming of Henry in death, remarking that though he is unhappy, so is Richard. Six friends fell apart due to one ritual, and now, they lay, scattered, with Bunny.

Analysis

The moment Richard meets the Greek students, he aspires to be like them; fancy, rich, pretentious, academic, and pedantic. He is desperate to shed his Californian roots in favor of this new culture but is frequently called out for this fraudulent identity, cheap clothing, and Californian mottoes. The other Greek students are hardly the pictures of this persona either, though; Bunny’s family is actually poor and traditionally American, and all of them hardly withhold sensory impulses in the form of drugs, alcohol, and sex. Even the setting reflects this fake persona; the characters act stereotypically English despite the fact that they live in New England, America. The intellectual and cultural superiority act is a comforting one, though; the students’ professor, Julian, reflects this himself by projecting his ideas of perfect pupils(wealth, good-naturedness and studiousness) onto them and ignoring any qualities which don’t line up with his idealised perception of them. Towards the end, Julian finds out about the group’s schemes and we see just how shallow he really is; he never truly cared for his students, he never really upheld the moral standards he preached, he instead displayed what he would call cowardice by running away from his own students for being murderous yet never reporting them.

With this in mind, it’s rather ironic to see some followers of the dark academia aesthetic preach The Secret History as the bible of dark academia whilst upholding superiority complexes and intellectual supremacy. By no means are the majority of followers of the aesthetic like this, but The Secret History expertly displays the superiority complex that can seep into those who solely prize themselves for their academic prowess and tastes and ignore the moral descent this narcissism leads them down.

Review

The Secret History is not a short book. With 559 pages in total(including the epilogue), one would expect a plot more complex than the one described above. Truth be told, the majority of The Secret History functions not as plot nor character development but as filler. I believe that at least 200 pages could have been extracted from this book with barely anything sacrificed but its slow, monotonous pacing. Some will delight at hearing the everyday discrepancies in the group, and perhaps I would have if it weren’t for the characters’ shaky personalities and blurry identities. Richard is impulsive and intellectual, Henry is mysterious and brooding, Charles is… well, he’s an alcoholic, and Camilla’s quiet and pretty. The only well-defined characters in this novel are Bunny and Julian, the former being an impulsive and whiny yet gregarious pupil fuelled by his family’s value of money yet disgust at earning it. Only Bunny’s motives are ever truly explored, and the rest of the characters are rather shallow in goals, motivations, pasts, and futures.

Perhaps this was intentional, to show how the fake identity these students covet has smeared their sense of self, but it makes for a mostly boring read nonetheless.

The only character I felt was well-developed for his role was Julian. He is central to the book’s message, and I truly felt the charisma he exuded with Richard. I felt his shock when Julian was revealed to be a shallow persona all along. He worked well for his purpose and the scenes with Julian were by far my favourite.

For all its flaws, The Secret History has a consistent tone and message ingrained into the book’s very being. It has a gripping plot when it shows it and a great character crucial to the book’s message. I just wish there were less filler and more character development in this story and I believe I would have enjoyed it far more.

I give The Secret History by Donna Tartt a 70%(how can I hate a book that contributed to my excuse to wear turtlenecks year-round?).

Conclusion

The Secret History is a book in need of readers with stamina, ones who can handle approximately 200 pages of filler for a gripping plot and a relevant and unique message. Whether you want to learn more of the Greeks, read about college students, murder mysteries, or one of the greatest contributors to the dark academia aesthetic(as I did), you will likely feel immersed in this world of impersonations and fakes. The Secret History is a dynamic story of identity, friendship and lies, and how all these factors can spiral into evil. Dark academics and Greece-enthusiasts will remember this story in fashion, in behaviour, and in wisdom.

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