#he looks like. normal. but hes like a big evil toxic asshole

[justmeinadaze]

Him and I (Steddie X You)

Prequel to Without Me / Part 2: You Should Be Sad Here

A/N: ENTER WITH CAUTION! Like my previous chapters THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL! Its angsty and dealing with dark themes of addiction. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU CHOOSE TO SKIP THIS STORY!

Warnings: Toxic Steddie X Fem Reader, SMUT, I wanted to show the two parts of them and how the treated her before and after they started getting worse with their vices. The first half involves loss of virginity for the reader, dirty talk, kinda rough but more passionate I would say, The second half is definitely rougher, more dirty talk, degrading (whore, slut, etc), spanking, choking, Y/N is a willing participant in both instances!

Some FLUFF, they really do love her and vice versa but unfortunately they love their addictions more.

ANGST: DARK THEMES OF ADDICTION! Steve is an alcoholic and Eddie is a drug addict. Reader mentions more in Without Me how she's addicted to them and I feel like that's explored a bit more here. She gets on them a lot about their vices and every time they are dismissive. There are mentions of their childhoods and we do get an interaction with asshole older Harrington here (he belittles Steve and smacks him).

The accident from Without Me is here but with some details. Its more about Eddie and Steve's interaction before they ran and left her. We also get a glimpse of her in the hospital waiting for them.

Again NOT A WARM FUZZY STORY! I won't blame you if you choose to skip it <3

Word Count: 7874

1982

“That was…the grossest fucking thing you two evil people have ever shown me.”, Steve shudders as the three of you exit the theater. 

You and Eddie cackle as you follow behind him out the front door. 

“Oh, don’t be a fraidy cat, Harrington. It wasn’t even scary.”, the metalhead teases.

“I thought it was creepy. What would you do if I started to transform into some evil screeching alien?”

“I would still think you’re beautiful, honey.”

“Aw, Steve Harrington, you’re so sweetheart.”, you joke as you stick out your tongue.

Tonight was a much needed reprieve from all the chaos you and your two best friends had been dealing with.  Junior year at Hawkins high was shaping up to be an exhausting one. Steve’s dad was on him much more and with more vigor than he had before reminding the younger Harrington that his future was looming just off in the distance. 

“Steven! It’s time to buckle down and really focus. No more playing around, son. You need to focus on bringing up those grades and being a better athlete so you can get into a good college. I don’t hire losers at my firm!”

The older Eddie got the worse the town and student body seemed to be with him. 

“What’s wrong, freak?!  To busy focusing on your satanic shit? Get lost and take off that fucking Dio vest! You look fucking stupid.”

He did everything he could to focus on other things but idiots like Jason Carver and the other jocks were always around to make his life hell. 

That’s probably why they both seemed to “let loose” more than usual or at least that’s how they described it to you the first time you noticed them excessively drinking and doing drugs. 

“It just takes the edge off you know?”

“Is it? Steve, you have a flask now that you carry with you. Why would you need to do that?”

“It’s not a big deal, Y/N. It’s not like I have a real problem or anything.”

“Yeah, it’s just to relax. Here, sweetheart, you look like you need to chill out for a bit.”, Eddie adds as he offers you some of the white powder from the bag you noticed on his dresser. 

“Um, no thank you. I think I’m ok weed.”, you giggle trying to laugh off the worries that bubble in your stomach. 

You had started worrying about them more and more since this past summer. When you guys started high school, you noticed a change in them that wasn’t just normal adolescences. Steve’s words started to slur more throughout the day and whenever you three would spend time together his breath would smell so strong like a bar that you’d have to take a few steps away from him so you wouldn’t cringe every time he opened his mouth. 

Eddie’s personality would shift at random points. In the mornings he would seem like the metalhead you befriended and then by lunch his behavior would be so erratic that it would frighten you sometimes. By the final bell, you would notice him staring off into the wall or even find him passed out in the back of the library.

Your mind always explained it away with different excuses almost as quickly as the ones they gave you when you asked questions. 

“Hey, do you guys want to come over? My parents are out of town this weekend.”

“Sure. Sounds like fun.”, you beam up at him.

***

You woke up that following morning on Steve’s bedroom floor with Eddie beside you and the other boy passed out leaning against the wall with his long legs stretched out towards you both. Quietly, you got up to use the bathroom, checking your reflection in the mirror before you ventured downstairs to grab some breakfast. 

Your eyes scanned the photos along the stairs, sympathy washing over you as you noticed Steve’s uncomfortable demeanor in all of them. His house always had a sad air surrounding it. It never felt exactly lived in and when his parents were home, neither seemed happy. Both he and the metalhead spent a lot of time at your place which you didn’t mind. You loved their company and you wanted them to feel safe. 

Your parents always treated them like family and that’s how you saw them as well. You knew what both boys had been through and were still going through. Anything you could do to make things easier for them, you did with little to no question. 

After opening his pantry, something immediately caught your eye. Within the trashcan were a ton of empty liquor bottles. Not just single beer containers but bottles of whiskey that should last a long time in a house with one occupant, emptied and discarded. 

“Hey Y/N. What are you doing up?”, Steve groggily asked as he entered the kitchen. 

“Steve Harrington, what is this?”, you inquire back showing him the contents within the trash. 

The man’s eyes widen and it takes him a moment before he nervously chuckles. 

“Uh, my parents had a party last week so—”

“Your parents weren’t home last week. You told me they were on a business trip which is why you spent the night at my house because you didn’t want to be alone.” The two of you stared each other down until you finally continue. “You drank all this by yourself?”

“It’s…it’s not a big deal, honey.”

“DON’T you honey me, Steven!”

“What’s going on?”, Eddie asks after loudly banging down the stairs. 

“Did you know he was drinking this much?!”, you shriek as you show him what you found.

“I mean, it could be worse, Y/N.”

“HOW?! How can it be worse?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Rock bands don’t even drink this much!”

“Y/N! Come on. You’re making this into a big deal when it’s not!”

“Fuck you! I’m not going to watch you drink yourself to death. I love you but this is excessive!”

Stomping past them both, you head for the front door but the man hastily cuts you off and blocks you from leaving with his body. 

“Y/N, please. Shit… I’m sorry, okay? You’re right. I have been going overboard lately. It’s just everything with my dad and school… I promise this will never happen again.” As your arms fold over your chest, his beautiful eyes scan your angry frame. “You’re the only one that ever cared about me, Y/N; you and Ed of course.”

You sigh as your demeanor softens. 

“I DO care about you a lot, Steve. You know you can talk to me about anything and I’ll be there for you no matter what. You both don’t have to numb yourselves the way you do.” Eddie nods as you turn towards him, his head hanging in shame. “I worry about you two so mu—"

As you swivel back towards the other boy, you’re surprised when you are met with his lips on yours. You had never been intimate with them in any fashion up until this point, always seeing them as your best friends. You’d be lying, however, if you didn’t say Steve’s lips tasted good. 

He pulled away from you for a moment, the two of you panting into each other’s mouths as you process what just happened. Before you could do anything or even respond, a ring covered hand grabbed your arm and yanked you against a bare chest as Eddie’s own lips connected with yours. 

You could still hear the other boy’s heavy breaths causing you to groan at the sound. Lifting you onto the end table by the door, the metalhead hastily tugged down your pants and panties while Steve came up beside you to lift off your shirt and toss away your bra. 

Eddie’s fingers dug into your thighs as he opened your legs wide and kneeled in front of you, making you whimper when he shoved his face into your cunt. 

“Wa-Wait. I’ve—fuck—I’ve never done anything s-sexual before.”

A heavy growl emitted from both men as the long-haired boy sucked and flicked his tongue along your clit while Steve’s lips attached to your neck. Moving his friend out of the way, he lifted you in his arms and carried you to the couch.

You watched with wide, lust blown eyes as Steve pushed his shorts down enough to free his cock, spit in his hand, and stroked it along his length. 

“St-Steve, you’re so big. It won’t fit.”

His honey brown eyes met your own and it was almost like for a moment he had forgotten it was your legs he was between. Tenderly, he leaned forward to kiss your lips. 

“It will, honey. I promise. I’ll go slow, ok? Unless…do you want me to stop? I just…you are the only one to care about us. I love you so much, Y/N. Let us make it up to you.”

Your gaze momentarily shifted to Eddie who was looking at you with the same gentleness that you saw when you first met him all those years ago. Licking your lips, you kiss him again before shaking your head. 

“Just…go slow…and keep talking to me…please.”

Your arms clung to his neck when you felt the head of his cock line up with your entrance. Your breath caught in your throat as he began pushing in and on instinct you tried to push him away from you. 

“No, no, baby. You’re ok. E-Eddie, fuck, can you—”

Eddie quickly came up to your side and held you still with his hands as Steve pushed another inch into your hole. 

“God fucking damn it, you’re so fucking tight.”

“Are you ok, sweetheart?”, the other boy whispered in your ear.

“Hurts.”

“I know, baby. It’ll feel good soon. I promise.” His lips comforted you as he kissed your cheek and your head arched back as the other boy slide further into your body. Eddie licked his fingers and reached between your bodies to rub slow circles into your bundle of nerves as Steve kept going.

“Fuck, Eddie!”, you screamed causing the boy inside you to grunt when your pussy clenched around him. 

“Y-You like that, honey? You like Eddie’s fingers on your clit. Fuck, you’re doing so good, Y/N. I’m almost all the way in.”

“Steve…you’re so big…”

His cock twitched at your words and you groaned as the pain began to slowly dull. When his hips connected with yours, your eyes rolled back as his length grazed against that sensitive spot inside of you, you didn’t even know existed. 

Leaning on to his knees, his palms held your calves as he pulled himself almost all the way out before roughly thrusting back in.

“Steve!”

“Fuck, Y/N. Keep shouting my name like that, baby.”

Eddie’s hand petted your head, as the other boy set a steady pace.

“You’re doing so well, pretty girl. You look so beautiful like this. You deserve to feel good to. Does it still hurt?” He smiled when you shook your head. “How does it feel?”

“G-Good.”

“Yeah? Tell him, sweetheart.”

As your eyes scanned over Steve you couldn’t help but marvel at him as you view him through this new filter. Usually, you only saw him as a friend. You never really thought about his gorgeous eyes or perfect lips. The way his broad hairy chest looked so sexy glistening with sweat. You never noticed that one lock of hair that fell just so as his head tilted forward or how low and gravelly his voice was when he was turned on. 

“You feel so good, Steve.”

“Oh come on, Y/N. Tell him how you really feel. It’s just us.”

The boy tilted forward, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and you moaned as your fingers tangled in Steve’s hair. 

“F-Fuck… your cock feels so fucking good. I-I can feel you in my stomach.”

His lips trailed up your chest to your neck and your eyes fluttered shut as you turned your head to the sound of his voice in your ear.

“I feel good, baby? Fuck, Y/N. I’ve—I’ve never had a pussy that felt this amazing before. You were made for us, honey.”

“Steve, I… I feel… Something’s happening.” Your arms circle tightly around him as he thrusts into harder and faster. “Steve!”

“That’s it, pretty girl. Oh my god. Cum all over my cock!” You screamed his name as an intense, pleasurable feeling you had never felt before washed over you. “Goddamn it.”, he grunted as he quickly pulled himself out of your quivering entrance and you watch with heavy eyes as he stroked his length over you, releasing his seed on your belly. 

Lost in a haze of bliss, you barely felt both boys switch places and Eddie flip you over positioning your ass in the air. When his tongue licked a long strip up your folds, however, you gasped as your body shuddered against the couch. 

“So sensitive. I like that. Jesus, sweetheart, you taste so sweet. Are you ready for me?” When you don’t answer, his chest presses against your back as his fingers move your hair to the side. “Are you ready for me, Y/N, or did you want to stop? We can stop if you want to, baby girl. We’ll still love you.”

Craning you neck slightly, you able to meet those beautiful chocolate eyes. You had never noticed how intense they were especially when they were full of care like they were now. You never noticed how kissable Eddie’s lips were or how seductive they looked when they pulled back into a smirk. It never occurred to you how much bigger his gorgeous hands actually were compared to yours as he balanced himself so he wouldn’t crush you as he whispered in your ear. 

“You both love me?”

Your question threw them both off guard. 

“Of course, we do. There’s no one else in the world like you.”

“You helped make us who we are, Y/N.”

Steve’s words hit you like a train. You just found a trashcan full of liquor he had been hiding from you. They were both utilizing drugs and alcohol to a degree that was beginning to become concerning. Maybe…maybe they’d be worse if it wasn’t for you. Maybe you could help them get better and heal so they wouldn’t need to turn to that stuff.

“I love you to. I’m ready, Eddie.”

You both groaned as he ran his mushroom tip between your puffy lips, collecting your slick before he gradually began guiding himself inside of you. Your back arches up, pushing against his chest as he stretches you open. It didn’t hurt as bad as with Steve but Eddie was thick and it still felt like you were being ripped in half. 

“G-God, Y/N. Steve was right…how can you still be this tight?”

His arms wrapped around your body as he began pounding into you. In this position, you were feeling all new pleasurable sensations that had your toes curling as he grunted into your ear. 

“Do—mmm—do I feel good to, sweetheart?”

“Y-yes.”

“Keep talking to me, Y/N. The way you did with him. Really let go, babe.”

“Your cock…feels so good…Eddie. You’re so…deep.”

Lifting himself onto his knees, he yanked you up with him, the sound of skin slapping echoing through the house. 

“K-Keep going.”

“I can’t. Fuck. I’m…”

“Yes, you can. I can feel your pussy squeezing me. Beg me, baby. Beg me to make you cum like he did.” When you didn’t answer him again, he placed his fingers on your clit, moving them so fast as he matched his own rhythm.

“Eddie! Oh my…Please! Make me cum. I want to cum again! Please…”

The metalhead pushed your face down into the sofa as he did what you asked, slamming is cock into you till the coil snapped and you shouted his name as you came. He soon followed, moaning obscenities as he pulled out and came on the meat of your ass. 

Unsure of what happens next, you remained frozen in that position as you listened to Eddie’s heavy pants. You were a complete mess, naked, hair frayed, and everyone including your own arousals dripping from your body. 

 “Whoa! Hey, it’s ok. I’m just picking you up to take you upstairs so we can get you clean.”, Steve explained when he felt you flinch. 

You sighed exhaustedly as he lifted you up and you clung your arms around his neck. Eddie ran ahead and as soon as you both entered the bathroom your bath was ready. Sitting there quietly, you starred off into the tile in front of you as they ran a washcloth along your skin. 

“Y/N?” The metalhead reached for your chin and gently turned you to face them both. “Are you alright? We didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”

When you shook your head, they exchanged a glance.

“What are you thinking about, honey?”

“Why? Why now? You two have had so many other girls in your life—”

“None like you.”, Steve interrupted. “I wasn’t lying, Y/N. I love you. My dad doesn’t give a fuck about me, my mother is never here, the girls at school just want me because I’m ‘popular’.”, he rolls his eyes. “You’ve never wanted or expected anything out of me. You treat me like I’m not fucking worthless.”

“Because you’re not, Steve.”

“When my mom died, I thought I’d never be happy again. Then I met you guys. Baby, I love you to. Even with Wayne sometimes I feel like I’m burdening him.”

“You’re not, Eddie. He loves you.”

“I know but I get what Steve is saying. We hear all this bullshit enough and it just sinks in you know? But with you…”

“We’ll still be your best friends, Y/N, even if you don’t want us like that.”

“I didn’t say that.”, you smirk as both their gazes shift towards you. “I would like to be wined and dined though.”

“You wanna go out on a date?”

“Yeah. Maybe we can check out that new Star Wars movie and then—”

“We can take you to dinner.”, Eddie beams. “Treat you like a princess.”

############

1983

“Wow, Steven, you suck at this.”, Eddie teases as you giggle from the side while you both watch Steve try to shoot one of the balls on the pool table into the corner pocket. 

“Well shit, Edward. Do you wanna wrap your arms around me like you do with Y/N and teach me to be better.”, the pretty boy slurred as his cue missed the ball entirely. “Fuck.”

The metalhead extended out his arms toward him as he began to sing. 

“Love lift us up where we belong.”

“Don’t you touch me.”, he laughs as they both flash each other a toothy grin. 

“Come on, princess. Show him what I taught you.”

Playfully swaying your hips as you saunter over, your eyes flick to them as you line up your shot. Steve tosses back the liquid in his flask and Eddie lights his fourth cigarette in a row. He’s getting antsy which means soon, he’ll excuse himself to the bathroom where he’ll snort his powder and come back with half lidded, glassy eyes. 

You savored small moments like this where you could. Where you three were having fun and they weren’t totally clouded over by their vices. Tonight was a regular date night and you were so happy that they didn’t seem to be in a bad mood. You always knew how ever it wouldn’t take much for that spark to ignite though. 

Beaming at them, they clap for you obnoxiously loud as you make your shot. 

“That’s our girl!”

“Shut the fuck up, freaks!”, Jason Carver hollers from the corner of the bar.

“Go to hell, Jason!”, you shout. 

The jocks cackle at your comment as Andrew’s eyes rake across your body. 

“Little girl has a mouth on her. Maybe we can show her how to use it.”

Eddie stomped towards them before you could stop him. 

“Say that a little louder, asshole. I don’t think I heard you correctly. That ‘little girl’ is my best friend and you willshow her fucking respect!”

“Go to hell, Munson.”

“HEY! Knock it off or I’ll kick you all out!”, the owner shouted as he glared where you guys were standing. 

“Come on, Ed. Let’s get out of here.”, you try and sooth him in a calm voice. “Please.”

Angrily turning away, he barrels out the door as you run after him. 

“Eddie, it’s ok.”

He ignores you as he opens his van door, pops open the glove box, and pulls out the little glass vile of his drug. You watch with helpless eyes as he pours some on the edge of his hand near his thumb and snorts the contents.

“That’s not going to help anyone.”, you growl.

“Yeah, well, no one fucking asked you. Let me ask you something. Why did you want me to stop? Huh? Do you want to fuck Jason and his stupid friends?”

“Have you lost your fucking mind? Of course, I don’t.”

“Pfft, please. Little whore like you can’t help herself.”

“Fuck you, Eddie.” 

As you turn and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and tries to keep you from leaving. 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“I’d rather walk than deal with this bullshit.”

“Guys…”, Steve slurs as he appears beside you. “Can we do this later? I’m fucking exhausted.”

***

Driving his van for them, you all went back to Steve’s house and let them talk you into staying over. Around two in the morning, yelling startled you awake causing you to panic when you realized Steve wasn’t beside you. 

“Eddie.”, you murmured forcefully as you shook him. “Eddie!”

“Jesus H Christ, WHAT?!”

“Something is happening downstairs. I think Steve needs our help.”

“He’ll be fine. Just shut the fuck up and go back to bed.”, he grumbled as he rolled over. 

Ignoring him completely, you quietly tiptoed out of the bedroom and leaned against the railing as you listened to Mr. Harrington screaming at his son. 

“This is a $500 dollar bottle of bourbon, Steven! I save it for important clients not my idiot kid and his friends.”

“For the thousandth time, I didn’t drink it!”

“Oh, so all of my alcohol just disappears then. Even though you, the freak, and that whore are here a majority of the time alone.”

“Don’t call her that.”, Steve grunted through gritted teeth.

His dad stepped forward and smacked him hard across the face. 

“Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice.”

Running down the stairs, you put yourself between them. 

“Leave him alone! He’s not drinking what’s yours.”

“Everything in this house fucking is mine, little girl. I paid for it with my hard-earned money. What the fuck has he done? Nothing and that’s all he will ever be. The sooner you figure that out the better.” Mr. Harrington raises his finger and points to his son. “You owe me $500 dollars or I swear to God, Steven.”

With that his dad furiously left the house, slamming the front door for emphasis. Quickly facing him, you cup his cheeks in your hands, and check him over.

“Are you alright, baby?”

“Why the fuck did you do that, Y/N?”, he asks in a sharp tone. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Marching towards the kitchen, he opens cabinets till he finally finds a bottle of whiskey that actually still has some liquid within it. You glared at him as he knocked it back, panting when he finally removed his lips from the glass. 

“You both promised me you would slow down on stuff like this.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t answer to you, honey. If you don’t like it, you can fucking leave.”

“Maybe, Andrew is still at The Hideout. He can give you a bed for the night.”, Eddie sneered as he rounded the corner and leaned in the doorway.

“Fuck you both. I’m fucking done.”, you spat. “You want me to leave? You got it.”

You headed towards his room, throwing off his clothes so you can put on your own and head home. You knew better. You knew you should have just left but part of you was hoping they’d beg you to stay, groveling at your feet as they told you they loved you. You wanted them to fight for you…show you that they needed you as much as you felt like you needed them. 

And they would…in their own inebriated way…

“Why the fuck are you still here?! I thought you were leaving?!”, Eddie shouted when he found you. Grabbing your pants from the floor, he threw them down to the first floor with your shoes and socks. “Get a move on, baby!”

Ignoring him, you banged your feet loudly down the stairs but as you bent down to grab your jeans, Steve came up behind you and captured your wrist turning you to face him. 

“You made things worse by butting in.”

“No, Steve, you make things worse by continuing to drink. Why?! Why do you two do this?”

The man rolls his eyes as he takes a swig from the bottle in his hand. 

“Please. Like you fucking care. You’re going to break our hearts just like they did. May as well just leave now, honey, and leave us in peace to destroy ourselves. It’s what Eddie and I are good at, right bud?”

Eddie’s only response was a deep inhale that you knew was his him snorting his blow. 

Shaking your head, you turn to leave but he doesn’t release you from his hold. 

“I thought you said I could leave, Steve. That’s what you want right? To fulfill your own prophesy of me abandoning you.” You try to yank your arm back but he just tugs you close to his chest, glaring down at you with angry eyes. “It’s not like I’ve been by your sides and both your best friend since we were little kids.”

Sarcastically, you laugh knowing what you say next will rile him up but you don’t care. In this moment, you were in so much pain after the way they spoke to you. You were fully prepared to give them a taste of their own medicine. 

“Your dad was right. You are nothing.”

In one swift motion, he released your wrist and took hold of your hair, leading you to the couch where he bent you over the arm.

“I’m nothing, huh? HUH?!”, Steve shouted near your ear as he leaned over your back. “Say it again, little girl! Come on. Let me hear it!”

“You’re nothing, Steve Harrington! I thought you wanted me to fucking leave! I’m going to abandon you anyway, RIGHT?!”

His palm came down hard on your behind, making you yelp before he moved the cotton blocking your core and abruptly pushed two of his long, thick fingers into your sex.

“You’re not going fucking anywhere tonight, babe. Not until we’re done with you.” You groan as he curls his fingers inside you and spanks you again. “You always talk back but you’re still so fucking wet for us, aren’t you? AREN’T YOU?!”, he yells as he hits you again.

“YES!”

“Fuck, just listen to that pussy, Munson.” The sound of your slick fills the room as he thrusts his fingers at a faster pace. “Fucking whore is always ready.”

“Probably why she can’t help but eye fuck this entire town.”, Eddie condescends as he comes around to sit on the couch in front of you. 

“Please…”, you moan as the coil tightens in your stomach. 

“Please.”, he mocks making you growl before his fingers roughly pinch your cheeks. “Control the fucking attitude, Y/N. Since we’re nothing and we do nothing for you, might as well use you one last time and I’ll be damned if you’re going to look at me like that.”

Steve spanks you again causing you to whimper as your pussy clenches around his fingers and you cum hard around them. After literally ripping off your panties and Eddie tugging off your shirt, the other boy loops his arm around your waist, carrying you around the front of the sofa, and tossing you on it. You wince as you fall a little harder than you should of making both boys freeze. They don’t genuinely want to hurt you; they never have. You know what they’re doing right now is an outlet especially for Steve after what happened with his dad. They needed to feel in control and so did you. You desperately needed to feel like you could reign them in and keep their vices in check so it didn’t get worse. 

If they needed to use you so they didn’t use themselves, so be it.

Your eyes flick between theirs before a slow, cool laugh leaves your lips. 

“Oh, come on, boys. Don’t pretend like you fucking care now. I’m a whore right, Ed? Steve? Come on, baby.” You coo in a sarcastic tone as you push up on your knees and wrap your arms around the man’s neck. “Prove to me you’re not nothing. Show me what a real Harrington man is.”

With newfound motivation, he manhandled you till you were on your hands and knees facing Eddie’s lap. You mewled, biting your lip at the feeling of Steve’s spit hitting your cunt before he pushed down his shorts enough to free his cock and roughly thrust it into your entrance.

Ringed fingers tangled in your hair, tugging you back till you were looking at the metalhead’s angry face. 

“You’re going to suck my cock, little girl, and you’re going to take all of it. No whining or complaining. Sluts do what they’re told.”

You nodded with heavy eyes as the man behind you abused that sensitive spot inside you over and over till your toes were curling. Shimming out of his boxers without letting you go; his dick sprang free and you wasted no time taking him into your mouth. 

Eddie groaned as you did what you were told, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you drooled around him. Every time you moaned at Steve’s thrusts, his fingers gripped you tighter as his eyes fluttered shut. 

“Fuck, baby, that’s it. At least that bratty mouth is good for something. Shit.”

Looping his arm around you, Steve’s hand reached between your legs and began rubbing fast circles into your clit that had you screaming around Eddie as you pushed back against his hand.

“Fuck, Steve!”

“Yeah. That’s the fucking spot. I know. No one knows you better than us, little girl. Cum. Cum hard on my cock, Y/N!”, he demands as he spanks you with his other palm. 

As the ball drops, you moan his name as your pussy quivers around him. 

“Fuck. That’s it. Good girl. Good fucking girl.”, Steve grunts as he pounds into you chasing his high. 

Clinging to your hair, Eddie holds you still as he thrusts up into your mouth and fucks your face as you gag. 

“There you go, you little whore. Choke on my dick.”

Steve’s rhythm falters and he grunts as he releases his spend roughly into your cunt. As he fills you up, the metalhead pushes you lower onto his lap and growls loudly as your throat constricts around him. They both pull out of you at the same time and Eddie forcefully tugs you onto his lap facing him. 

Your jaw falls open as he grips your waist and brings your down onto his cock, your hands clinging to his shoulders as he guides your movements. 

“Harder, Y/N! Fucking make me believe that you fucking care!”

As you wrap your arms around him for leverage, you bounce faster and harder on his lap, throwing your head back as you moan loudly. 

“E-Eddie, please!”

“Fuck.”, he grunts, lifting you into the air without pulling out, sitting you on the sofa while his palm grips the back as he takes over thrusting into you. “God, you feel so fucking good. You’re ours, little girl. This pussy belongs to us.”

When all you do is mewl and nod, his fingers take hold of your jaw, and force you to meet his intense gaze.

“Say it, Y/N. So we know you fucking understand.”

“I-I…my pussy be-belongs to you. Fuck.”

“Who do you belong to?”

“You two.”

“WHO?!”, he snarls as he rolls his hips hard.

“EDDIE AND STEVE! Fuck, I’m gonna—”

The metalhead’s ringed fingers grab your throat and you whimper as you cum again. Eddie’s grip tightens and you feel your air slightly cut off. Right as your panicked eyes find Steve’s, the other boy paints your walls as he fucks it deep into your core. 

Steve reaches over and tugs at his friend’s wrist, signaling for him to release you which he does. His chocolate eyes scan you over with worry, when he hears you cough as you catch your breath. 

“I…I…shit. Y/N, are you…okay?”

When you don’t answer, they swiftly kick into action as Steve lifts you into his arms and carries you to his bathroom where he gets the tub ready. Eddie appears next to you with a bottle of water but as he offers it to you, you turn away. 

“Sweetheart, you have to drink something.”

“Like either of you care.”

“Honey, of course we care.”

“DON’T! Don’t you honey and sweetheart me! I’m a whore who wants to fuck the entire town, right?! I’m butting into your business and making things worse, right?! I don’t love you and you don’t care if I leave, RIGHT?!” Pushing Steve away, you wince as you lower yourself in the warm water and bring your knees to your chin. “What do I have to do to prove to you that I only want you two? That I’m not going anywhere? Why does it have to be this way?”

They hang their heads as they silently clean you and you allow it. After drying you off and finding you a new pair of clothes to wear, you continue to ignore them as you climb into Steve’s bed and close your eyes. Both boys do the same, placing themselves on either side of you as Eddie presses himself against your back looping his arm around you and pulling you to him while Steve tenderly caressed your face. 

“We’re sorry, baby.”, he whispers. “You deserve so much more than this. We’re fucking assholes.”

Steve watched your bottom lip quiver as Eddie held you tighter to his chest and he pressed his face into your shoulder as he began to quietly cry. 

“I’m sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to grab you so hard. I love you. You’re not a whore. You’re our perfect angel. We can be better, Y/N.”

###########

“Hey, Y/N. Are you alright? You look tired.”

“Oh, thanks Glen. You know I’m trying this new routine—”

“Ok, ok, I get it. That was a little rude.”, he laughs. “You know, you always look beautiful.”

You softly smile as you turn towards your locker. These were the moments you wish you could tell people that you, Eddie, and Steve were more than best friends. Glen was a nice guy but you were in love with someone else. You knew it bothered them (especially Eddie) when men hit on you and it equally upset you when girls would do the same with them. 

They knew better though just like you. You knew when Steve stumbled into a room with a girl on his heels they were probably just talking. Whenever he would call you over at 2am sobbing about something you couldn’t understand under his slurred words, you were positive that the perfume you were smelling was most likely yours from days ago when you spent the night. 

They made sure you never had to worry about things like that…

As you opened your locker a note tumbled into your hand.

“Hey pretty girl, 

We just wanted to say we love you so much and miss you. 

Can’t wait to see you later tonight. 

You deserve the world, angel.

-Steve X Eddie”

“Are you, um, going to the party tonight?”

“Yeah.”, you answer him as you hold the note to your chest. “Steve is probably going to pick me and Eddie up.”

“Oh. Ok…I thought, maybe, you’d want to ride with me.”

“Glen…I…thank you but I’m just not…”

“Hey. No worries.”, he grins. “I’ll still be your friend and think you’re cool.”

***

“Geez, this fucking house is insane. How many people live here?”, Eddie asks as he takes a sip of the “punch” in his cup. 

“I think 3 but…”, you laugh as you wonder around with them. 

“Pfft. Jamie’s parents and herself makes three people who are never home.” Steve picks up a figurine and shows it to you with confusion before putting it back. “I will never understand why rich people buy these massive houses but are never in them. Our house isn’t that big but it’s just me or the three of us 99% of the time.”

“Ok, got it. When we move in together no big house.”, you giggle causing him to stick out his tongue at you. 

“That’s too bad. When I became a rockstar I was going to buy us a HUGE mansion.”, the metalhead muses as he glances up another spiral staircase that was blocked off. After looking around, he tugs down the ribbon, and grabs your hand to guide you up to the next floor. 

“Hm, baby. This reminds me of The Shining.”, you whine.

Eddie chuckles as he turns around and wiggles his index finger in front of your face. 

“Redrum!”

“Stop!”

Continuing to laugh, he pulls you to his side as you wrap your arms around his waist. You loved these moments; the moments where they seemed like their old selves before things had gotten worse. It gave you hope that you could save them; that you could bring the Eddie and Steve you first met on those swings back to you. 

“Hey guys. Come look at this here.”, Steve calls as he opens a random door. “This must be her parent’s room.”

As he stared at the massive sized bed with a canopy, you ventured into the bathroom while Eddie looked around the closet. 

“Jesus Christ, this is bigger than our fucking trailer.”, he scoffs as he flashes Steve who followed him in some of the clothes. “If you need a bench in your closet, maybe the closet it too big, yeah?”

The other man took a swig from his flask as his eyes scanned everything around him. 

“I don’t think I’ll every be rich enough to give her this.”, he mumbles causing the metalhead to abruptly turn his way. 

“Don’t say that, Harrington. Just because your dad is a douchebag doesn’t mean you won’t own a company one day. It doesn’t have to be his.”

“Pfft, said the rockstar.”

“Ha! Yeah. That’s if I can get my fingers to do what I want them to do.”, Eddie sighs as he begins digging his is pockets, finding his little vile. “Or my brain for that matter.”

“Maybe…maybe we really should slow down, ya know?”, Steve whispers. 

“It’s not that serious, Steven.”

“You almost choked her out.”

“And you fuck other cheerleaders. Do you really want to play that game right now?”, Eddie hisses.

“Shhh! I don’t…I don’t mean to. We go somewhere and then I wake up the next morning…”

“Yeah, tell her that.”

“I love her.”, Steve growls. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Well, I love her to.”, he sighs before patting his friend’s shoulder. “Everything’s fine, man. Trust me.”

The sound of you jumping onto the bed brings them back into reality as they exit the closet and find you sprawled out with a wide smile on your face. Crawling in beside you, the three of you lay there in comfortable silence as you listen to them breathe.

“I love you both…for who you are…I hope you know that.” You feel their eyes shift towards you as you continue. “No matter what. It’s always been just us and I’m always going to be here for you. I don’t care if we have a house like this or… a tiny trailer.”

“We’re not going to let you live your life in a tiny trailer, sweetheart. I don’t care what I have to do but that’s never going to be your reality.”

“Whatever WE have to do.”, Steve clarified. “We’re always going to be there for you, honey. You put up with a lot when it comes to us. Soon it will all be worth it.”

“Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we ditch this party, go back to my place, and watch some spooky movies that will make Harrington pee his pants?”

Nodding, you giggle as Steve rolls his eyes. After running down the stairs, a face you recognized abruptly stopped you to say hello. 

“Hi Glen. I’m actually about to leave!”

“Really? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” His nervous eyes scan Steve’s stumbling frame as Eddie bounces on his heels waiting for you. “You’re leaving with them?”

“Yeah of course. We’re going to go hang out at Eddie’s trailer.”

“You’re driving right? Or, maybe, even I can.”

“Oh, um…” Your own gaze shifts towards them, taking note at the longer you take the more annoyed their eyes seem to become. “His place isn’t that fair. It’s not a big deal. I appreciate the thought though.”, you smile as you give him a quick hug.

Before you can turn away, Glen holds you in his grasp.

“Don’t go with them, Y/N. Please.”

Holding your smile, you pull away and nod your head, slightly assuring him that everything would be alright. 

“What did he want?”

“Just to say hello. We have a couple of classes together and we help each other sometimes.” As you three search for Steve’s BMW, you anxiously watch him fumble with his keys. “Stevie, baby, maybe you should let me drive.”

“Pfft, I can drive, honey. I’m barely even drunk.”

Eddie’s arms wrap around you from behind as he tenderly kisses the nook between your neck and shoulder. “Come on, princess. You can sit in the back with me.”

***

Steve frustratingly tries to yank at the car door but it won’t budge. 

“Steve…”, Eddie calls to his friend as the sirens begin to wail in the distance.

“I can’t…the door…” Desperately, he falls to his knees and tries to reach for your hand through the shattered window as you dangled upside down from where you were still buckled in. “I can’t reach her…Y/N…w-wake up.”

“S-S-Steve.” The sound of sirens got louder as the metalhead panicked going into sensory overload. The sirens, Steve grunting as he tried different ways to get to you, the smell of metal and blood. “STEVEN! We need to go. NOW!”

“Eddie, we can’t just leave her here!”

The long-haired boy tugged at his friend’s sweater, dragging him to his feet. 

“Yeah? And you’ll never see her again if you get arrested for drunk driving and me for possession. She’ll be fine. They’re almost here. They can get her out!”

Steve had his own internal battle pausing only for a second when he heard the sound of you groan. 

“I-I-I…FUCK!”

Both boys run and disappear just as Hopper’s police car skids onto the scene.

***

“Hey, Y/N. This feels like a stupid question but how are you feeling?”, the police chief asks as he takes a seat beside your hospital bed. It had been almost two weeks since the accident and people could barely get anything out of you. 

Your parents had been by your side the entire time, holding your hand, and caressing your hair as you cried through every painful process the doctors put you through. Your mom and Hopper exchange a worried glance as you ignore the question, continuing to stare at the phone by your bed. 

“I’m not going to bug you too much but I was hoping to get some more details about what happened. We know you weren’t driving because we found you buckled in the backseat.”

Again, no response.

“We, uh, got a tip that you and some friends left a party at the same time. Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington? The car in the accident is also Mr. Harrington’s.” Your eyes start to tear up and you quickly suffocate the notion by closing your eyes. “Um, Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N, may I have a moment alone with Y/N?”

After your parent’s leave, Hopper comes to sit on the opposite end of the room directly in front of you, his gaze soft as he scans you over. 

“Y/N, you’re not in trouble. I know you didn’t cause this. I also know that you’re very loyal to your friends but, honey, you’re not helping either of them if they don’t face the consequences for what they do.” Your eyes open finally meeting his and he doesn’t faulter as he continues. “No one is in trouble here. I just want to help them and you. I also want to make sure no one else gets hurt.”

Shifting you gaze towards the phone again, a montage of everything they had been through ran through your mind. Eddie had lost his mom and his dad was abusive before going in. After moving in with Wayne, things got better at home but not at school or in Hawkins. People bullied him relentlessly making him feel like he was a freak who would never be anything but. 

Steve had basically raised himself being alone most of his childhood. His asshole father and absent mother were always away on business or even pleasure leaving him behind. When they were home, his dad said terrible things to him and broke him down constantly telling him he was worthless. While the boy was popular school, adults constantly seemed to underestimate him adding to his insecurity. 

They didn’t need prison, they needed you. It was just you and them against the world. Yeah, they hadn’t called yet but they would. They would give you a rational reason for leaving you behind and comfort you, telling you everything would be ok. Then things could go back to how they used to be or even better. Maybe this accident would wake them up to the damage their vices can do…

“I don’t remember who was driving. I just remember something darting into the road and then waking up here.”, you whisper. 

The police chief sighs as he nods. He can’t force you to say what you need to say. If that’s the story you want to stick with, he’ll write his report and give it to the insurance companies. 

“I see. Ok, Y/N. Thank you for your candor and I hope…I hope you feel better. I’m always here if you need to talk.”

Softly smiling, you turn your attention back to the phone as you continue to wait. 

They’ll call or come by. They love me. We need each other… I know it.

#############

#steddie #toxic! steddie #steddie angst #steddie smut #steddie fanfiction #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson smut #eddie fanfic #fan fiction #joe keery #joseph quinn #stranger things #eddie stranger things #steve harrington smut #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington angst #eddie munson angst #eddie munson stranger things #toxic!Steve harrington #toxic!Eddie munson #steddie x you #steddie x y/n #steddie x reader #steddie fan fiction #toxic love #toxic relationship #Spotify

[xanqa]

the Once Upon A Broken Heart series character opinions

ahahah I don't actually know how to write character analysis

I have no idea what the fandom's opinions on the characters are, but before I look into them, I wanted to write down my own!! I've read the first and the second book, I don't know if the third has come out yet

1. Evangeline

she was lowkey cute!! tho I didnt like how easily she forgave people's actions, especially against her (Jacks, Apollo's brother, Marisol, ect) she got 3 men liking her, and all of them are big red flags, girly got it rough :D she undoubtedly got the best chemistry with Jacks, but also the guy was like the most toxic out of the three, I don't know how those two could ever live happily ever after like she hoped😕 anyway her optimism really should make room for self preservation insticts😨 like I don't know how she survived before meeting Jacks, even tho Jacks is one of the bigger reasons she almost died multiple times :D

2. Jacks

oh my god this man was crazyyyy!! the mixed signals all the fucking time?? it was so funny tho how he defended Evangeline's life like it paid the bills :D also at some point I wondered if he even actually knew Evangeline's real name, but the nickname thing was brilliant, and like imagine him like discreetly trying to find out Evangeline's name :D his character is so in depth, it was great :) he was still such a big asshole and only seemed to help people if it benefitted him, if we exlude the stuff he did at the end of the second book. he was such an interesting character tho!! I kinda hope that he'd be different in the next book, but at the same time I'm much more like don't ever change Jacks, keep living as the asshole you are‼️ also I'm really curious to see how he acts towards amnesiac-Evangeline

3. Apollo

okay next to Jacks' character any guy looks kinda bland :D but still I feel like almost only things we heard him speak of were Evangeline and those numerous curses he was put under😐 okay I need to give him a break tho, he was literally put under a love curse and then "died", and after that got cursed again, there wasn't that many chances to talk about anything else😕 idk he still kinda bored me😔 but like I actually thought the he was the best option for Evangeline's poor mental health and happiness in the long run, but then boom he hit us with THAT in like the fucking last pages of the second book⁉️ and how did he even do it, I didn't know that he was magical??

4. Lala

ohhh I loved her character!!! and her fate thing was as great as it was sad☹️ she was still far more reasonable than Jacks!! and all of her descriptions were always delightful :D I gotta be honest, in the first book she and Evangeline had a bit of romantic chemistry ngl😏 Evangeline at least had a little crush in the beginning I swear

5. Lyck

boring guy, boring description, boring personality. well okay maybe he was far more likable in the second book, when he was given an actual personality other than being Evangeline's first love and a small villain🙄 his playfulness was a breath of fresh air sometimes, it was nice

6. Marisol

I actually really liked her in the beginning of the first book :( I didn't wanna believe that she was evil at all, even tho all the signs were there😕 I thought that Lyck was gonna be the villain but she took that role😔 but like by the end of the first book and then the second, I didn't like her at all anymore😣

I gotta admit that I hope that this book will never turn into a movie or a series with actors😕 okay hear me out, every time I read a book where there are characters who aren't human and that's the reason they are so incredibly beautiful, I don't think that normal human actors could actually convey their beauty or grace to the fullest

it would be great to see as a movie tho anyway

#once upon a broken heart #books #book #there's a lot more I wanted to say about Jacks but I don't know how to word all of it #the ballad of never after

[venusknives]

anyways speaking of bo being really fucking hot like so so hot heres an appreciation post for his hotness 

#house of wax #bo sinclair #i went thru the movie to take ref pics bc omg google images flops when it comes to bo sinclair #i want 2 point out how this genre makes me lose my fucking mind over average looking white guys like how does that happen #i think its bc i binged jason movies before house of wax so when i saw someone who had a full head of good hair i was like KSJDHFKDSJHKFDHJF #vincents hair doesnt count as good hair its bad it doesnt count #rat #anyways hes hot thats my essay conclusion #also deadass i think in a way he can be just as scary as vincent bc like #he looks like. normal. but hes like a big evil toxic asshole #so u dont see it coming until its too late #but then u have to stand back and be like wait thats like all straight white men nvm #its the rings i think men w big rings r kinda hot

[yamithediaperdork]

My little brothers revenge, Part 2

Alex woke up Sunday morning and rubbed his eyes, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes and hearing the heavy snoring of his asshole big brother.

'Man, can't believe I conked out so bad!' He thought, now rubbing his arm across his chin and mouth to take care of any left over drool. 'I guess I must of been more tired then I thought..Ugh.. and Justin's been stinking up the room again in his sleep.'

Alex put his fingers to his nose, glaring over at his brother who was a well know toxic hazard in his sleep and as such normally got his own tent when the family went out camping.

Tossing his blanket back Alex froze as the smell not only got worse in the room, but it became clear WHAT the source of the stink was as he looked down and the shot swelled diaper around his waist.

'No way..no.freaking.way!' Alex thought as he blushed beet red.

he quickly glanced over at Justin who was thankfully still asleep and then slowly got up onto his hand sand knees and crawled backwards to get out of his bed, trying not to squish the mess around any worse and fighting back whimpers that might of woken Justin up.

There was NO way if Justin saw him in a shitty diaper that he'd ever let Alex live it down, and he could easily picture Justin 'accidentally' bringing it up around his friends or even at school.

getting his feet on the floor Alex found himself forced to do a cowboy walk of sorts from the bulk of his filled diaper and as quietly as he could he made his way to the door and out into the hall, praying to every deity he could think of that he was the first one awake since it was only 8:34 am and mom and dad liked to sleep in on Sundays.

Fate was not on his side however as he made his way towards the bathroom and saw that the door was closed. before he could even think of turning around and waddling back to his room the door opened and out stepped mom.

She appeared to of smelled Alex before spotting him from the way her nose wrinkled, then she looked eyes on him and her mouth twitched as if she was fighting the urge to smirk.

"Did somebody have a stinky accident?" She asked, sounding amused but coming over.

"I..I didn't mean to.." Alex whimpered and looked down, all sorts of shame flooding though his body and he was fighting back tears.

Instantly she went from amused to trying to comfort him, even if she winced as she knelt down in front of him and cupping his chin.

"Alex it's ok, accidents happen. this this goes to prove that you're not feeling so well. Maybe I'll let you stay home while I go and get you some more diapers later." She said in a soothing voice.

"I..Yeah Ok mommy." Alex said, feeling very much like a big baby as she then picked him up, hands under his armpits and carried him to the bathroom.

"I think maybe it's for the best you're gonna be in diapers all day today too. you wouldn't wanna have a poopie accident in your Captain America briefs right?" She asked.

This was NOT helping Alex feel better but he just nodded his head, kicking his legs a little.

"Uh..Uh..Mommy? I-I can clean myself up." he said as she carried him into the bathroom and stood him in the tub.

"I'm sure you could, but it'll go faster with my help and I don't think you want Justin seeing you like this." She said with a warm smile.

"I-I guess you got a point." Alex whimpered.

Oh yeah, he was gonna get revenge on his brother and prove who was the big baby in the house alright. right after his mom changed his dirty diaper.

'God, what have I done to piss you off so much?' he silently asked as his mom started to open his diaper.

One humiliating clean up and shower later and Alex was in a clean diaper and downstairs at the kitchen table, having some toast and tea. Normally Sunday's were a sausage and bacon filled feast if you waited long enough for Mom to get up but she had been wary about putting too much into Alex's system and asked him to go simple. Alex wasn't happy about it, but since Mom had put the plastic bag with his stinky diaper in the trunk of the car and promised to get rid of it away from the house he decided to humor her.

He was in just one of his Spider-man diapers and a loose Iron man t-shirt and kicking his legs softly at the table when Justin came down stair's with a grossed out look on his face, spotting Alex before he saw mom.

"Geez Alexandra, did you crap yourself or something? Our room friggen reeks!" He complained and then fully walked into the Kitchen and saw their mother standing there, NOT looking happy.

"Excuse me, but I thought your father and I talked about you calling Alex that name." She said in a less then amused tone.

"Er..well..See, Alex likes the nick name! Yeahhh, He said it just didn't feel right if I wasn't teasing him." Justin lied, Looking to Alex for back up.

"Alex is that true?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, Not at all. I've told him to quit it." Alex said smirking big time.

"i see. Justin, How would you like it if I called Justine or Jessica all day?" Mom asked, smirking now.

"..I wouldn't like it very much." Justin muttered and looked down at the floor now.

"Mmmhmm..So keep that in mind next time you get the urge to brat..I can always go and get you a adorable pretty princess lunch box and put Justine on the front of it and make you take it to school. Your father isn't the only one who can get creative with punishments."

Threat made Anne turned back to the kitchen counter and started on making Justin some breakfast.

"Y-You wouldn't!" Justin whined.

"Wanna try me? I'm already going to the store in a bit for more diapers for Alex." She said and smirked. "As is, I think you can have a nice toast and tea breakfast like your little brother. He's not feeling so good so you'll be watching him today."

"Ahhh moooom, I was gonna go hang out with Grizz and Rayne today!" Justin whined."I'm Sure Alex is a big enough boy he can look after himself! Or Dad can watch him!"

"Your father is going and helping Mr.Nilson build his deck today, But if you stay here I'll lift the TV ban so you two can play video games. Co-op only, I don't wanna come back to you both all mad at each other like what happens every single time you play a versus game."

Her point made the brothers both sulked as neither really wanted to be stuck with the others company.

Justin huffed his way though breakfast. between having to have buttered toast and tea instead of a meat explosion and being stuck with Alex all day he knew this was gonna suck all the balls, at least till he recalled his evil plan from last night and brightened up.

'Wait, no mom..no dad..and just me and the pamper butt. Oh yes yes yes yes yes! this is gonna work out great!' Justin thought and got a big silly grin on his face.

"Well, Somebody's cheered up after his tea." Mom teased.

"Oh yeah, I just had to wake up some more you know? I think I can have LOTS of fun with Alex today mom, so don't worry if you wanna take a bit." Justin said then added. "I know you like to drive around and it'll be nice for you not to have dad bugging you to hurry up or listening to me and Alex fighting."

"Well that's nice of you, though Alex is on his last two clean diapers so I really should hurry back." Mom said, giving Justin a half hug.

"oh nonsense! Alex is just gonna wear the diapers, It's not like he needs them mom, Right little bro?" Justin asked and smirked.

With Justin was being happy and helpful alarm bells were going off in Alex's head but there was nothing he could really say in argument of mom coming back sooner without tipping off he'd pooped himself earlier or making it sound like he needed his day time huggies. It was a catch 22 and Justin's look told Alex he knew it.

"yeah mom, I'll be ok..I'm sure me and Justin will have lots of fun." Alex said, trying to sound cheery.

Aside from not wanting to sound like he needed his diapers, he knew if he tried to whine to go with her or have her come back fast he'd also sound like a whinny little mama's boy.

"Well ok, If you boys are sure. I'll be heading out in a bit then, why don't you two leave the dishes for me and go and play some video games. And since you're both being good little guys for mommy." Anne smirked as both boys made a face at that. "You can both have 3 cans of soda each. Just try and spread them out."

the ugh faces turned into surprised smiles as mom was usually a stickler on the boys sticking to juice or water and she was always careful to keep a count on the can's of pop in the fridge.

Finishing up their light breakfast, the boys put their dishes in the sink and washed up a little then each one grabbed a can of cola out of the fridge and got a Blanket set out over the floor, well Alex got the blanket over the floor while Justin made sure the curtains were drawn shut.

Naturally normally Justin would of loved to of had the curtains wide open to show off his BABY brother but with mom still home he had to play nice.

Sides he wanted to try and draw Alex into a sense of relaxation before springing his super genius evil plan on him.

Alex wasn't falling for it for a second but went and fired up one of their rare co-op two player games (Since Justin wasn't a fan of retro games) and the boy's started to play, pausing only to wave bye to mom as she headed out, telling them that she'd be back in a hour or so, and to make sure dad woke up soon as he'd promised to be over helping with the deck bright and early.

They played in peace for about half a hour, with only cries of booya, eat it and the like coming out of their mouths and Justin giving Alex tips and for the most part they actually got along for a change.

That being said, all good things have to end and Justin never put his plan out of his mind, so when it was time to go and wake they're dad up he volunteered to do it while Alex took a much needed potty break.

Stopping by their room to grab Alex's phone Justin made a quick little call.

"Ngggh.. Yello?" came the groggy voice of Max.

"Heyyy max. how's it going?" Justin asked, keeping his voice down.

"Ngggh..Justin? what are you doing calling me?" the sleepy boy asked.

"Well Alex is kinda been missing you, and I was trying to set up a little surprise for him but getting you to come over and hang out with him." Justin said, grinning ear to ear.

"...OK who are you and what have you done with Justin?" Max asked, sounding suspicious.

"Hey, I can be a nice guy every now and then. but if you don't wanna come over finnnne." Justin huffed, mentally cursing just how well Max knew him.

"...Give me like 20 minutes or so to wake up and get some food in me." Max sighed on his end of the line.

"Ok the front door will be unlocked so just come in." Justin said and hung up.

with operation:show my brother baby butt off underway, Justin went off to go and wake up dad.

With dad being his normal cheery morning self (read: grumpy as fuck) Alex did his best to stay out of his way while he made himself a bacon and egg sandwich then grabbed his tool box and was out the door.

"I wonder he even offered to help if he was just gonna be this grumpy?" Alex asked Justin.

"Because there's free beer involved after the deck is built and you know mom won't let him bring any booze into the house." Justin said, oddly keeping a eye on the time.

"heh, you missing mom already or something?" Alex teased.

"Oh no, Just arranged a little surprise for you." Justin said and smirked.

As he smirked Alex felt a pang of fear go though him, the old Justin was back and he went to scramble up to his feet to get get away.

"ah ah ah, come here huggie butt." Justin taunted and grabbed onto Alex, tugging him down and into Justin's lap, pressing on his tummy.

Which had the effect of making Alex let out a massive fart.

"Dude! really? what are you, part skunk?" Justin asked, shoving Alex back out of his lap.

"M-Maybe!" Alex said, his tummy gurgling now and as he went to get up he ended up hunching over, anther fart coming out of him.

"Heh, Uh-oh, is widdle Alex gonna go poopie in his diapies?" Justin asked, smirking and getting up to block the path to the bathroom.

"J-Justin Nooo! I don't wanna poop my diapers again!" Alex whimper, hunched over and making his way over, yet anther fart coming out and that one was totally a wet one.

"Wait..ANTHER poopie diaper?" Justin asked, then it clicked. "Oh my god, you shit yourself in your sleep! Ahahaha! You really ARE a baby!"

"J-Justin Please! I'm begging you! Let me use the pot-" Alex started but then there was the sound of the front door opening and Alex was cut off by Max's voice.

"Allo allo! whats going..uh..on.." Max said, walking into view and looking at Alex in shock. "Uhhh.."

"M-Max!?! what are you doing here?!? I Uh..Oh god, Max don't loook!" Alex wailed.

Max was too shocked to look away though as Alex lost the battle with his bowels and the back of his diaper ballooned out as wave as wave of mush filled it, making the spider-man designs fade away and the formally white parts of the diaper go a ugly shade of brown.

With the back of the diaper being destroyed the front didn't get off easy either as Alex's bladder apparently didn't wanna be left out and he soaked the diaper even as he sank to his knees.

Balls up fists coming to his eyes and rubbing them as he started to bawl, Alex almost but not quite drowned out Max's million dollar question.

"Uhhh..what's going on here?"

The living room was filled with Alex's stink, but it was the smell of victory to Justin as he took in the scene with a sick joy. Alex was too busy bawling like the big baby he was to try and defend himself so Justin spoke up.

"Sorry about this Max, I tried to get baby Alex to cover up his diapers but he said he wanted you to see what a big baby he is an-" Justin started, but was cut off.

"Yeah, Bullshit. What's really going on here, Alex, did Justin make you wear a diaper?" Max asked, wincing as he moved over to comfort his friend.

'damn it! was hoping he'd fall for that. ah well, can't win'em all.' Justin thought.

Alex was still full on bawling though, and was just finishing up his dump and the diaper had amazingly held up.

"Alex..Alex buddy it's ok.. everyone has accidents." Max was saying and Justin rolled his eyes at that.

'just my luck, most boys his age would of started tormenting the fuck out of a pamper packer and I get the kind and understanding one.' Justin fumed.

"He's in all day diapers today because he went to sleep without putting one of his bed wetter pants on yesterday and wet the bed." Justin sighed. "And apparently if he's to believed he woke up stinky too."

"...Alex is this true?" Max asked.

Alex hiccuped and sniffled, calming down slightly now but he nodded.

"So..you knew his diapers were gonna be on display and invited me over..dude, your a asshole." Max said and glared at Justin.

"eh, Guilty as charged. but if you care soooo much about widdle Alex then you can get him cleaned up. Otherwise I'm gonna leave him to sit and stink." Justin said and shrugged, turning to leave.

"Sheesh.. brother of the year aren't you.. Where's his diapers?" Max asked helping Alex stand up and rubbing the poor guys back.

"In our room, I'll toss out what's left of them." Justin said then walked off leaving the stinky diaper boy and his little buddy to clean up.

For the second time this morning, Alex found himself doing a dirty diaper cowboy walk and heading for the bathroom, whimpering and saying sorry to Max over and over again.

"Hey, it's OK dude.. I should of known your brother was planning something when he invited me over. But Uh, I've known about your bed wetting for awhile." Max said, giving a sheepish grin.

"N-No you didn't, I'm super careful!" Alex whimpered.

they made it to the bathroom and Max had Alex stand with his legs spread and the trash bin in the bathroom under him as he undid the tapes and let the diaper plop down into the trashcan.

"yeahhh well about that.. you remember three weeks ago when we were playing Avengers in your room? you pack of Iron man diapers was sticking out from under your bed. When you weren't looking i pushed them back under with my foot." Max admitted, even as his face wrinkled in disgust.

"I..but..Noooo!" Alex whined babyishly.

Somehow this didn't change facts though.

"Look, we'll talk about it in a bit, you go and get in the shower, I'll go and get rid of the 'treasure'" Max said.

With no real choice in the matter, Alex nodded and made his way into the shower to go and get cleaned up.

'Pretty sad my best friend is more mature about this then my own brother..and Justin..your gonna pay!' Alex swore as he started the water.

After taking the plastic bag and putting it in the trash can outside, Max came back in and after opening some windows to air out the living room he made his way upstairs.Hearing the shower still running and found a pack of diaper with only two in it out front of the bathroom door.

the door to Justin and Alex's room was closed but since it didn't have a lock Max barged in anyways, finding Justin laying on his bed and reading a comic book.

"Can i help you?" Justin asked, a smirk on his face.

"That was a really shitty thing you just did to Alex, you know that right?" Max asked, hands on his hips.

"Cute choice of words there, and yeah, I'm a asshole and proud of it." Justin said.

"Yeah, well I'm gonna tell your parents what you did when they get back." Max shot back.

"Oh, cute idea. Let's tell them how Alex went and crapped his diapers when he has potty privileges and make it so he has to wear to school tomorrow. Of course I'll get grounded for inviting you over and showing off his diapers but who's really gonna come out on the short end of the deal here?" Justin asked.

Max blinked and tried to come up for a counter to that but just huffed and pouted.

"That's what I thought. If Mom asks when she gets back, Alex invited you over. I'll keep hush about the poopie diaper if you two little dweebs keep me out of trouble, deal?" Justin asked, going back to his comic book, clearly knowing he had the upper hand.

"..God your SUCH a asshole!" Max huffed and then stormed out.

Alex got out of the shower on his own and got himself diapered, then went and got a t-shirt (Hulk this time for the little avengers obsessed nerd) and a pair of black short's on over it before retreating down to the living room with Max, whining as Max told him about the deal Justin had offered.

"I don't know..he was suppose to shut up about the wet bed yesterday too and went back on it..and uh.. where did you put the..you know.." Alex asked huffing and squirming.

"Uh, out in the trash can on the side of the house. why?" Max asked.

"Because it's gonna be stinking up the block in no time and I'll get busted again for sure!" Alex whined.

"Well uh.. It's not like we can just go and ditch it in someone else's trash can you know." Max pointed out, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hmmm.." Alex said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully then snapped his fingers. "Hey! you know that old nature trail by here? the one that's hardly used anymore?"

"..Yesssss though I don't think I like where this is going." Max said.

"We'll take the stinky diaper and shovel out there, and bury it! by the time the trails popular again in the summer, no one will be able to smell it!" Alex said, beaming at his brilliant idea.

So excited with his 'brilliant plan' was he, that Alex actually started out of the room to head for the back yard to go and get the shovel.

"Alex, one second. You mighttttt wanna change into something baggier and with longer legs on it, those short's aren't really hiding your diaper butt." Max said with a small smirk.

Looking down and then looking at himself in a mirror Alex could see Max was right and gave a sheepish smile.

"Oh..yeah.. good call!" He said and then went to his dresser to find something a little more concealing.

Justin had of course by this time headed down stairs, not wanting to deal with Alex's 'toddler whining' ad he put it, and was playing a video game and drinking one of Alex's can's of soda since he had gone though his three.

Looking over as the pair went to go and get their shoes on he raised a eyebrow.

"And where are you two dweebs heading off too?" He asked then chuckled. "Awww, Is Max taking widdle Alex to da park ta pway?"

Alex growled but before he could speak up Max cut him off.

"Actually we're just gonna go and play on the old trail, go and dig some holes and the like. I figured that way if Alex has anther accident you won't have to smell it right away."

"Pffftt good thinking! did you pack a diaper bag for him then, hence the book bag?" Justin chuckled.

of course he couldn't of known that the pack pack was for holding the stinky diaper once they got it out of the trash, though he really didn't care anyways.

Alex meanwhile was blushing big time and huffing like a pouty toddler.

"Ayup, though hopefully it'll just be a wet diaper." Max said.

"pffft, ok. just be back soonish, Mom will wanna know where you are." Justin said and went back to his game.

Once they were outside Alex gave max a semi hard punch to the arm.

"what the heck was that all about! you sounded like you were on his side!" Alex huffed and glared.

"Uh, OW! and we didn't want him to know what we're really doing did we?" Max asked and then swatted Alex's padded backside, making a whumping sound.

"...You didn't have to be so believable." Alex huffed.

"oh I'm sorry, did you want him following us? knowing him he'd of tugged your pants off once you were on the trail and tossed them in a tree!" Max shot back.

the thought of being trapped in public with his diaper exposed made Alex blush and squirm, and let out a muffled fart of fear.

"Ah.. do you need, to go back inside and sit on the potty?" Max asked.

"NO!" Alex growled, then paused, and looked thoughtful and wiggled his butt a little, making Max have to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Yeah no, I'm good." Alex confirmed a few seconds later.

The adventure out to bury the treasure so to speak was uneventful, much as Alex had predicted the trail was dead this time of the year and the only hard part was digging into the semi solid earth, the shovel being almost too big for the either shorty to really use it so they had to take turns.

Coming back they were greeted in the driveway by Anne who was less then pleased to see Alex not only outside when she was still concerned he was sick, but that he was all dirty from playing in the dirt.

At least it worked out that she'd been home for about five minutes by that time so she'd already taken his new pack of diapers (Avengers print this time) to his room but still she gave Alex a mild scolding and sent Max home.

After that it was a day of just lazing around the house but Anne had also insisted on keeping a close eye on Alex so he hadn't been able to get enough alone time to e-mail Ben.

[you-did-well-moon]

The Warmth Provided (1)

Type: fluff, angst, crack, college au, friends to lovers au

Word Count: 7,784

A/N: This was obviously just supposed to be a little imagine not more than 5k words, but it turned out to be three times as big. I really need to control myself as a writer from now on, and if you request anything from me don't expect it to be as big as this lol. This simply happened because I got the inspiration for it. Also im sorry but y/n real booboo the fool with this one. With that please enjoy and don't be afraid to talk to me. 

TW: mentions of mental illness, mentions of infidelity, awkward situations, toxicity from Sungjin, footsie

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

You groaned whining at Sungjin and tugging at the very warm looking hoodie he wore. He gave an exasperated sigh not daring to even look at you knowing he would give in to your stupid puppy eyes. He put his face in his hands letting out a grunt that could only mean he was giving in to your temptations. You persisted, now putting both hands on his hoodie clad arm and leaning your head on his shoulder. You really could be evil sometimes.

“Y/n please-”

“Come on Sungjinie i’ll give it back by the end of class”

“You said the same thing last time, and you ran out of class WITH my hoodie peaches”

“It was buy one taco get another one free day at the cafeteria…”

You innocently smiled at him as he whipped his head to look at you with furrowed eyebrows and his facial features scrunched up. “Free tacos are on fridays. It was monday” he scoffed, shaking his head as if not being able to believe the audacity you had asking for his hoodie. You slowly blinked your eyes at him. “Sungjin I don’t even remember what month it is, and you want me to know what day it is! Am i a joke to you? You know what, don’t answer that asshole”

You sucked in air through your teeth and leaned back in your seat not being able to believe you and one of your best friends were arguing right before class was going to start because he wouldn’t give you his dumb hoodie. You had forgotten your own because you had spent around half an hour trying to pick what cereal you wanted to eat, and by the time you put the last darn Cheerio in your mouth you had five minutes to run to the opposite side of campus.

You really didn’t get why the human resources building was on the opposite side of campus from your apartment. It was only a matter of time before you actually woke up in time for the class. It didn’t matter because upon arrival to your seat in one of the middle rows in between Sungjin and Dowoon, you found out the professor was late to his own class. Probably still trying to convince his wife to stay with him. Poor man really couldn’t catch a break with that witch.

Mornings were always cold, and the building was also freezing. That brought you here, begging your best friend to let you borrow his hoodie which had cheese stains around the edges of the sleeves and smelled like ramen.

You were desperate.

You grimaced, turning your head to look at the sleeping Dowoon. There was no way you were waking him up to ask for his hoodie. Last time you did that he swung at you with his backpack -which had at least five books the size of your arm in it. Sungjin banned him from playing games for a month as punishment, but it didn’t stop the pain you felt when doing literally any kind of movement. From that moment onwards, you swore never to even look at Dowoon when he was sleeping. You liked your ribs just how they were.

In tact, and not broken.

You shivered, hugging yourself and grimacing at the thousands of goosebumps littering the bare skin of your arms. The feeling from the cold metal of the chair through your thin shirt making you all the more uncomfortable.

You inhaled sharply as you shifted and cold air blew against the exposed parts of your body. “Sungjin please, i’ll make it up to you just please give me your hoodie” you pleaded exposing yourself more to the cold by taking your hands from your body and bringing them together in a begging motion.

Sungjin looked at your shaking figure, worry in his eyes upon noticing your lips turning a paler color than the normal rosy tint they usually had. He threw his head back before giving you a sharp look and smacking his lips.

“Last time you wore my hoodie, you almost got me in trouble, peaches. Everyone thought-” he cut off not being able to make eye contact with you. Your head tilted and you pursed your lips blankly staring at your best friend. You repeated the unfinished thought pushing him to continue while he shook his head pinching the bridge of his nose.

He didn’t even look at you, his tone on the borderline of hopelessness and defeat when he asked you “Y/n, do you know what it means when a person wears someone else’s hoodie or jacket?”

You looked around af if you could find the answer in the tired faces of the students surrounding you before looking back at his hunched over figure and slowly blinking before adamantly answering, “They’re cold”

At your answer, the sleeping figure of Dowoon slightly shifted as he snorted muttering something about how dumb you were before moving in search of a more comfortable sleeping position. You were just about to raise your hand to retaliate with a slap to his back, but Sungjin caught your attention by belting out a disbelieving laugh now looking at you with wide eyes and an unamused smile.

“They thought we were dating, as in romantically involved, as in an intimate relationship, as in doing more than ki-” Sungjin was now rambling voice getting higher with each word before you cut him off with a light hit to his arm feeling your body grow hot in embarrassment.

“I-I know what dating is Sungjin” You hissed hands clenching around the arms of your chair and feeling your chest cave in as you gasped laughing it off awkwardly. “Come on Sungjin, let’s act like the adults that we are. We know we aren’t dating, and since when have you cared about what people think?” you searched his face looking for the answer in the hesitant shadows of his face.

“I don't,” he answered bitterly.

“Then what’s your problem?” You leaned in left speechless at the unexpected behavior of your friend. You felt like the whole situation was getting too serious over a stupid hoodie, so you tried easing the tension by joking around. “Would I be that bad to date?”

You immediately shrunk back giggling when Sungjin lifted his head from his hands for a little bit to glare at you nostrils flaring before shoving his face back into his hands.

“That’s not it and you know it,” he gritted out. Sungjin truly didn’t mean to get grumpy with you, he was having an internal conflict. Whether to tell you his friend’s secret, or to keep it to himself and not interfere. You were left to stare at him wondering if you should leave him alone for the rest of class while Sungjin went through a flashback that had put him on edge around you.

-2 days ago-

Sungjin groaned, shoving his face deeper into the soft fabric of his pillow and stretching his arm out to the nightstand next to his bed, hand fumbling around for the blaring alarm clock. He grumbled, lifting his head to groggily glare at the numbers displayed on the clock.

7:26

He had 34 minutes to get to his 8 am psychology class. He tiredly exhaled sitting up in his bed and rubbing his bleary eyes. He took a quick shower hoping it would wake him up, but the haziness of sleep still drifted around the corners of his mind. He could barely keep his eyes open as he brushed his teeth.

He threw the first thing he could find from his dresser figuring he could come back to change if he had any change to plans which right now was absolutely nothing. Sometimes he wondered why he had decided to be in a frat, he wasn’t the most social or the most popular, and he didn’t particularly like going to parties- but, he had met some people he could never dream of living without.

Like Dowoon, who he had to push off the bed with a promise that he could sleep in class later. He sighed watching the poor boy stumble as he tugged on a pair of jeans letting out a sigh of relief when he fell back on the bed.

Sungjin couldn’t help but smile. Even with all the people he had met because of the frat, Dowoom and you would be the closest friends he had in this stressful place. You guys were the foundation of everything he had ever found important. The people who guided him when he was lost, and he would be damned if he ever let his friendship with the both of you go.

He mindlessly grabbed his ramen smelling hoodie thinking you could use it if you forgot your own like you did every other day, or Dowoon could use it as a pillow if he was particularly tired like he was...every other day. Sungjin swore that kid had to stop taking the bus to random places late at night. It was a wonder how he hadn’t accidentally ended up in another city with his nightly escapades.

He was thinking about whether he would risk eating or not as he jogged down the stairs to get to the kitchen when he heard your name. He narrowed his eyes stopping right at the last step of the stairs thinking he was mishearing things. Wait- there it was again. Your name. His precious friend’s name.

Sungjin shrugged it off thinking they meant another Y/n, but he was quickly corrected when he heard your last name too.

His jaw ticked and his mouth suddenly felt dry as he wondered what you could have possibly done to have frat boys talking about you. He paused just right outside the kitchen wanting to hear just what they could have been talking about to be bringing you into the conversation.

“How would I know if the girl is single? I didn’t even know she existed before Jae mentioned her”

He heard the person scoff as confusion made Sungjin’s eyebrows tug together. You? In a relationship? You hadn’t had a boyfriend since high school, who he had to stop himself from pummeling into the ground when he cheated on you and had continuously tried getting you back. Sungjin swore you had the worst luck when it came to relationships.

Not only had you had a bad experience with one, but you were too naive when it came to people actually liking you. He had lost count of all the disappointed faces he had seen of people who had asked you out only for you to respond with one of your bright smiles along with something along the lines of “Sure, I would love to be your friend”.

He shivered wincing at the sole memory of some of them. He had never said anything because you had never mentioned liking them, and you told him everything. He really wished he could forget about the fact you sold Dowoon’s game controller in order to buy a Cheeto the shape of a heart which you then proceeded to eat without any regrets.

“Well then what are we supposed to do? Go up to the girl  and say “Hey, you don’t know who the hell we are, but we would like to know about your relationship status because you don’t have a Facebook we can stalk to see whether your love life is existent or not”, Sungjin peeked around the edge of the doorway seeing two figures sitting at the kitchen island having breakfast, and the person talking was animatedly waving his hands around.

“We desperately need to know because our friend Jae is about to be strangled since he won’t stop writing stupid sappy love songs about you” Younghyung do you even know how crazy we seem right now. We are quite possibly the worst wingmen in the history of wingmen” He now recognized the voice as Kim Wonpil’s voice, and at the same time Sungjin felt his heart claw up his throat as he slightly stumbled back in surprise.

Jae Park. One of the other members of the frat. And the boy you had been crushing on for two years. Also one of his closest friends not including you and Dowoon. Sungjin suddenly wished he had just stayed in bed today. Jae was one of the most popular guys on campus. Not because he slept around or anything, but because he was actually a friendly person. He got along with everyone, and he was basically friends with everyone.

Jae had helped Sungjin out of some tough spots before, even invited him out to hang out when you and Dowoon were busy doing who knows what. Jae’s closest friends were Kim Wonpil and Kang Younghyun. Sungjin had talked to those two before, but not enough to go up to them and randomly start up conversations with them.

He still remembered the day you had excitedly come up to him squealing about how the Jae Park was in your sociology class. Eyes shining and giggles erupting out of your mouth every five seconds. He really couldn’t stand you that day. Sungjin felt something stir in his chest, but he couldn't really tell what it was. He shook it off stiffly walking into the kitchen with his heart pounding in his ears.

Sungjin had felt awkward almost all his life, but he was sure nothing could top the sudden tension he felt in his body when the boy’s conversation came to a sudden halt at his appearance. He kept his back to them rolling his shoulders and trying to distract himself from the eyes boring into his back. He grabbed the cereal box turning around to get a bowl catching the two boys wildy gesturing at each other with wide eyes before immediately stopping once they noticed he could see them.

He kept his gaze directly directed at his cereal hoping whoever was listening they wouldn’t talk to him.

“Hey, Sungjin?’

He always thought there’d be a day where he’d drown in his cereal. Maybe today was that day. He paused a bit before grunting in reply looking up to see it had been Younghyun who had spoken and Wonpil who was darting his gaze everywhere but Sungjin’s eyes.

“You know Y/n L/n?” Younghyun again spoke leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

Sungjin knew he was playing dumb. Everybody knew you and Sungjin were practically glued at the hip. Wherever one of you was, the other could probably be found close by.

He put down the cereal with a sigh, tilting his head at them as he braced himself against the kitchen island with both arms.

“I would hope so. I’ve known her since I was seven years old, and I see her almost everyday” He smiled at them mirthfully feeling an inkling of possessiveness sprout in the confines of his chest. Once again, Sungjin shook it off as protectiveness he felt for you as a little sister.

Younghyun opened and closed his mouth as if not knowing how to respond to Sungjin’s answer. He finally cleared his throat seemingly still finding his voice until Wonpil’s panicked and rushed voice cut him off.

“Are you and Y/n seeing each other?” Wompil immediately clasped his hand to his mouth shaking his head wildy and mumbling warbled apologies while Younghyun slapped the loud mouth upside the head.

Sungjin took a shaky breath in suddenly feeling dizzy as he swayed lightly. His voice was disbelieving when he was able to sputter out his reply.

“W-what makes you think Y/n and I are anything more than friends” his eyes flitted between Wonpil and Younghyun left at a loss for words.

Sure, he and you were inseparable, always going everywhere and anywhere together, but not once had you ever shown signs of being more than friends. Never looking longingly or lovingly at each other, never kissing, never holding hands for more than a minute (in his defense he didn’t want to lose you in the crowd), never proclaiming your love for one another. You guys had never done anything that would suggest anything more than a friendly relationship.

The two boys in front of you looked at each other then at the speechless figure of Sungjin harshly whispering before Wonpil finally made eye contact with Sungjin nervously tapping his finger on the kitchen islan. Pursing his lips he seemed to be choosing his words carefully.

“It’s just that, Jinyoung said he saw Y/n wearing your hoodie. The one you have right now, and you know um people wear each other’s clothes when they’re together, so we just assumed there was something between you guys. We’re sorry Sungjin, we really didn’t mean to jump to conclusions bud”

Sungjin’s eyes drifted down to the hoodie in his hands. The very one he always let you borrow simply because you got cold, and he bought it to class for that exact reason. He was just trying to take care of you, and somehow that had gotten mistaken as anything but friendly intentions. He knew you really liked Jae, but at the same time Sungjin was scared.

He was scared you would leave him behind once you began dating Jae. You almost did when your dumb high school boyfriend told you he didn’t like you being so close to a boy, and he threatened to break up with you if you didn’t distance yourself from Sungjin, your bestfriend. He was terrified of it happening for real this time.

You would have no time for him because you were too busy with Jae, and he would be forgotten by the one person he could always count on. He would lose the smile and laughter of the one person who had always been there for him, but who was he to cling on to you when you could be happier without him. Sungjin felt like he was going to throw up. He was so sure you would leave him behind to rot, you wouldn’t need him anymore.

You wouldn’t need someone to bring a hoodie for you in case you forgot. You wouldn’t need someone to help you fix your bike after you crashed it from getting distracted while riding it. You wouldn’t need someone to patch you up and take away the pain after said bike crash. You wouldn’t need anyone to wipe away your tears when the demons in your head got particularly demanding. You wouldn’t need sungjin anymore because you would have Jae. Sungjin felt like he was getting strangled. He couldn’t breathe past the lump of dread that had formed in his drying throat.

He could not bear to lose the one person that had been by his side through the brightest and cloudiest days. He could not possibly lose the one person that had been by his side through all the ups and downs of life. He could not lose you. Not his peaches with your soft exterior but strong interior.

He felt his body go numb with the immense sadness that tore through his chest, and he began feeling his eyes tear up.

Would he be selfish at the expense of your happiness?

He felt his chest heave as he let out a heavy exhale closing his eyes at the ache beginning to probe at his temples. He shook his head once looking back at the pair who were staring at him with hunched shoulders, both regretting the fact they had even bought it up to him seeing his inner turmoil.

“Does Jae think so too?” his voice was as monotone as he’d ever heard it. Wonpil simply nodded chewing at his lips nervously.

Sungjin shoved the cereal box back into the cupboard not bothering to look at the boys mumbling a low “I need to get to class” as he walked away shaking hands clutching the hoodie to his chest not seeing the worried look the boys gave each other.

-Back to present-

Sungjin groaned feeling like he was about to pass out with all the mixed emotions coursing through his body right now. He decided for now, he would not tell you of Jae’s returned feelings towards you ignoring the guilt clenching around his heart by deciding it was not his place to say what Jae felt.

He quickly slipped his body out the hoodie throwing it at you and grumbling that you better return it to by the end of class. You laughed happily snuggling into the warmth of the hoodie but looking skeptically at Sungjin who had decided to distract himself by scrolling through his phone. You knew when your best friend was hiding something, and right now your best friend was certainly not telling you something.

You felt a bit hurt that even after all these years of building each other up, he couldn’t confide in you when there was something that was bothering him, but you shrugged it off figuring he would tell you when he was ready and you didn’t want to push him. You wondered why he was asking for it by the end of class since he always let you keep it until the end of the day. You once again shook it off figuring he probably got cold too.

You did not give it back by the end of class. You ran out of class. With the hoodie.

By the time Sungjin noticed you were gone with the hoodie still on your body, you were out the human resources building on your way to the student common area where the cafeteria was. Sungjin cursed your black hole of a stomach while Dowoon cackled claiming he deserved it for letting you sell his game controller.

You excitedly ran into the cafeteria stomach growling because let’s be real, cereal was not enough to sustain a growing girl such as yourself. You were instantly met with the smell of different kinds of foods from the variety of restaurants your university cafeteria had. Your eyes hungrily scanned the restaurants lining the room before deciding you could really go for a Subway right now. You were walking out of the little restaurant with the sandwich in your hands when you heard a voice call your name.

You let out a small confused “Huh” in response to the calling of your name spinning around searching the faces of the students peacefully eating and laughing together not being able to find the caller of your name.

Your vision went black as hands suddenly covered your eyes and a chest pressed up against your back. You jumped scared by the sudden greeting gasping in surprise.

“Hey!”, you yelped out.

Your own hands went up to the culprit’s wrists gently moving them down. You tilted your head back being met with a bright smile and a soft laugh that rang in your ears and made your chest fill with warmth. You instantly spun around face to face with your crush of two years.

He was your crush, but he had also become a close friend since the day you had coincidentally sat next to him on the first day of your sociology class not paying attention to who you were sitting next to and just walking to one of the front rows, sure you wouldn’t know anyone in the class.

He whispered your name asking to borrow a pencil and you spent around one minute staring at him like an idiot before fumbling inside your bag for a pencil and giving it to him clumsily. He had chuckled lowly muttering a “cute” under his breath which you were sure you weren’t meant to hear but you had become very attentive to him now knowing he was the one you were sitting next to and stunned by the fact he even knew your name.

You tried ignoring he was sitting next to you, but he moved around so much you wondered if he had to go to the restroom. He eventually noticed your staring simply telling you he had become restless since he had gotten sudden motivation for a song. You were impressed and intrigued by the prospect of him being a songwriter wondering what kind of words he brought to life with different melodies and harmonies.

You sneakily smiled at him, eyes flickering to the professor not far from where you were sitting before sliding your books in front of the notes he had put no effort into and giving him a sly wink giggling.

“I’ll cover for you”, you whispered.

He gave you a look that made a warm tingle run all over your body, eyes softening at you and cheekily winking back.

“I won’t forget your noble sacrifice” he immediately flipped to a new page of his notebook borrowed pencil quickly scribbling across the page.

You had to stop yourself from squealing as you subtly sank in your chair, the corner of your lips twitching as you tried to stop yourself from smiling at seemingly nothing. Sticking your nose into your own notebook and actually writing notes in order to distract yourself from looking at Jae who was now in his own world. Not failing the class was a bonus.

You were so into forcing yourself to pay attention to the monotone professor you didn’t notice Jae’s gaze coming back to your figure every so often taking note of all your features that made his heart beat faster and his head spin.

Ever since that day, you two became close, occasionally getting together outside of class when one of you finally mustered up the courage to plan said get together. It was usually to see a movie where you guys occasionally brushed each other’s hands while trying to get one of the snacks you had bought.

After the movie, it was tradition to go to the noodle place next to the bookstore at the end of the street where you laughed and joked around together. You had never told anyone of these times holding the memories as too precious and personal to share, scared that if you spoke of them they would disappear.  You had even refused to hang out with Sungjin telling him you had to study which you felt a little guilty about, but spending a little less time with him wouldn’t hurt right?

Your eyes widened as you pouted at him. “Jae, you can’t just do that to a person, I almost dropped my lunch and I would have made you pay for another one you ingrate” You were once again met with the same laugh as before, except louder this time. The one that instantly made you smile back at him, heart skipping beats periodically. The laugh that made the colors around you suddenly dance with a vibrancy that beautifully spun and twirled making you so wonderfully dizzy.

“I’m a college student Y/n I can barely afford my own food. Do you want me to starve?”  His eyes crinkled behind the glasses sitting on his narrow nose making your world spin just a bit faster on the axis of what could only be his smile. “Evil, pure evil.” he shook his head scrunching up his nose as if disappointed in you.

You put your hands on your hips  looking offended and tutting. “You’re the one that wants to make me starve. I haven’t eaten in one hour. That’s too long Jae!” he chuckled playfully, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Stop being dramatic and come eat with me loser. I mean uh, if you want to of course. Do you?” he gave you a nervous smile lightly tugging at a strand of your chair before shifting his feet and tugging at his jacket.

You tilted your head as if seriously thinking, looking at his smile slowly falling making your own heart sink being the cause of making something so lovely die. You teasingly reached up to push his glasses back up his nose, finger accidentally gracing the corner of his mouth. Softly laughing you walked by him and gently bumped his shoulder with yours.

“Maybe another day,” you snickered.    He instantly played into your joke once again laughing. He did a lot of that. Laugh. Never ashamed to show how happy he was. You on the other hand, had to hide how happy his own happiness made you.

“Walk away from me young lady and I will never let you eat my Starbursts again nerd” he threatened with a small smile playing on his lips. You couldn’t the light laugh that bubbled up from your chest turning around and putting your hands up in mock surrender. Jae’s chest filled with warm tingles like it did every time he made you laugh.

“You monster. You can’t just deprive me of Starbursts. They get me through the horror movies you always pick! I’ll sit with you, for the Starbursts.” Your determined tone and furrowed eyebrows made Jae breathlessly laugh as he walked closer to you hand reaching out towards your frozen figure.

Your heart palpitated as you tried to calm your breathing, but one of his hands took a hold of your hand running up your arm until it located itself on your shoulder, tugging you into his body and making him able to throw an arm around your shoulder.

Your skin burned wherever his warm touch lingered, and your face felt hot. You once again had to take a deep breath to calm yourself from the wondrous euphoria you felt just by being by Jae. He began walking bringing your flustered self along with him. You were so caught up in trying to make sure you didn’t trip, you didn’t notice Jae’s own cheeks tinting with pink or his shaking hand hanging off your shoulder.

He led you over to a table near the windows where two figures were hunched over and inhaling their food, talking to each other every few seconds. You recognized them as Jae’s two closest friends, Wonpil and Younghyun. You had never met them which caused you to dig your heels into the ground effectively stopping both you and Jae.

“Don’t worry they’re nice. As long as i'm here, they won’t do anything. I won’t let them” he had ducked down too whisper into your ear  warm breath hitting the shell of your ear. You hesitantly nodded continuing to walk while Jae tightened his arm around your shoulders and brought you closer into his left side making the whole right side of your body burn at the wake of his touch.

Different from his earlier tone he cheerfully called out for the two who didn;t look up from their food.

“Jae you’re usually the first one at the table what took you so long. Wait don’t tell me, busy staring at-'' Younghyun had begun speaking taunting Jae and still not looking up until he was cut off by a shove from Wonpil who had raised his gaze to greet Jae only to be surprised with you basically tucked into his friend’s body. You curiously looked up at Jae wondering what so often caught his attention so much his friends teased him who only shrugged mouthing a “he’s crazy” and looking in Younghyun’s direction.

Jae cleared his voice but you poked him purposefully looking at him and muttering, “I can speak for myself” You turned to the pair who were both kindly smiling at you waving awkwardly at them. “Uh hi, my name is Y/n”

Wonpil smiled sweetly at you putting his chin on his hand and glancing at Jae. “We know”. You stared at him, mouth falling open and uttering a confused “Huh?” You were so focused on staring questionly at Wonpil to notice Jae mouthing threatening words at his friends. Younghyun cut him with a stiff laugh “Sungjin talks about you a lot”.

You instantly bought it smiling at the thought of your friend. You had forgotten these boys were a part of the frat he had recently joined. Wonpil seemed to fall out of whatever stupor he had fallen in stupidly smiling in Jae’s direction jumping up to offer you a handshake and introducing himself which you instantly took hoping your palms weren’t sweaty from nervousness. Younghyun followed in Wonpil’s lead, just a little more relaxed and laid back than the jumpy and energetic Wonpil.

Jae’s hands ushered you to sit down while he sat opposite the seat he had pushed you into next to his friends, making Wonpil’s small form get squished between Jae and Younghyun. You smiled softly at the sight getting reminded by your own little trio of you, Sungjin, and Dowoon. You started unwrapping your sandwich as you answered basic questions from Jae’s friends like what your major was and what flavor of ice cream you preferred.

You found yourself being able to fall into a steady rhythm of laughing and talking with the three boys in front of you getting comfortable enough to relax and talk with ease growing confident with the little group. You were answering Wonpil’s question about the tattoo just behind your right ear when you saw his gaze fall to your clothes, his mouth fell open a little as he struggled to focus on your answer too focused on the hoodie enveloping your form.

His shoulders slightly slumped as he nudged Younghyun muttering to him that you had the hoodie on. You were completely enraptured in the conversation Jae had pulled you into, so Younghyun had to clear his throat to catch your attention. His mouth was tugged into a calm smile, but his gaze was sharp making your stomach quiver with a sudden bundle of nerves.

“The hoodie is nice” he gestured cooly to the hoodie keeping you warm “Where did you get it from” the question seemed to carry double meaning. You saw Jae eyes widen, filling with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, body stiffening in his seat. You suddenly remembered what the one rule Sungjin had given you when throwing the clothing at you, and you had run right out of class breaking the one damn rule he had given you.

You groaned burying your head in your arms while tugging at the fabric that was Sungjin’s hoodie as if it would magically disappear from your body into Sungjin’s hands. You chewed at your lip looking at the boys in front of you, bitten lips now formed into a pout.

“I’m not even supposed to have this. I should have given it to him by the end of class, but it was so cold and Sungjin always gives me his hoodie when I forget mine.” You ran your hands through your hair already practicing what you’d say to him, but you knew the outcome was all the same. He was probably going to give you the scolding of your life. You really didn’t understand why he cared if other people thought you were dating. He had never cared about it before.

People had even confused you as a couple before, and he had always shrugged it off forgetting about it as soon as it happened. “Ugh, he’s going to kill me. If you don’t see me tomorrow Sungjin did it” i said sadly.

Jae wasn’t saying anything finding more interest in the table than the conversation you were currently having with his friends. You wondered what was up with him since he was always more than eager to join in on the conversation, but you coined it off as him being lost in thought.

The sharp look in Younghyun’s eyes remained and he didn’t laugh like most people would at the relationship between you and the other male. Wonpil simply sank in his seat leaning a little closer to Jae. You were beginning to feel anxious left foot tapping across the floor getting ready to bolt any second. Your mouth felt dry and it hurt to swallow the bite of sandwich you had just put in your mouth.

Younghyun finally looked away from you staring out the window next to the table and fiddling with the spoon on his table. “You and Sungjin seem close” his jaw was tight and tone uninterested but you felt like your answer held the weight of the world in it. You chose to stay calm ignoring the voices in your head telling you to run away as fast as you could. The food in your stomach felt heavy and you fought the urge to throw up.

You smiled softly at them. “Of course we are, he’s one of the most important people in my life'' You saw Jae close his eyes as if he had just been punched in the gut, and you saw Younghyun’s hand clenched into a fist knuckles turning white but you kept going, keeping your voice light and soft. “He’s been my best friend since I can remember” you added on taking the hoodie off and instantly wincing and getting attacked by the cold air circulating the cafeteria.

You shivered really hating yourself for forgetting your jacket. Everybody seemed to ease up, so you figured your answer had been the right one. What exactly deemed it as right you still weren’t sure. Younghyun leaned back in his seat, his sharp gaze gone, and the humorous glint in his eyes back. Wonpil put his elbows on the table leaning closer to you and once again asking you another question while Jae seemed to spring back to life also joining in on the conversation with the bright smile back on his face and his eyes getting their shine back.

You couldn’t help but feel a light tingle prick at the back of your neck at seeing Jae happy and himself again. Your lips tugged into a small satisfied smile, and while talking with them you would continuously look at Jae who you caught staring every time then bashfully look back at Wonpil not being able to bear the thought of Jae looking at you and only you.

Jae never looked away from you. Not even when you caught him in the act simply chuckling when you smiled nervously and looked at his friend. You were both so caught up in each other you didn’t see Wonpil wiggling his eyebrows at Younghyun who rolled his eyes but smiled happily nonetheless.

A little tension left your body because the air around the four of you had immensely calmed down, but the cold was now once again seeping into your skin, chilling you to the bones.You gave the boys an uncomfortable smile as you began to shiver. Wonpil and Younghyun smiled at you sympathetically while Jae got an unsure look on his face, lips pursing and eyebrows furrowing. He looked worriedly at you, a silent question in his eyes.

“You okay?”  You beamed at him assuring him, but your body was still shaking. He set his shoulders back keeping eye contact with you while getting up and pulling his jacket off his body. He shook his head “Tsk tsk Y/n, what would you possibly do without me?” You felt your face grow hot trying your hardest to ignore the sliver of skin exposed by his shirt riding up when he took off the article of clothing.

His hair was ruffled and his glasses were askew and barely held up by the bridge of his nose, but the only thing you could focus on was the arm extended towards you holding the blue jean jacket being offered to you. Your breath was caught in your throat, and you stood there frozen staring at the jean jacket. You couldn’t even feel the chilly air of the cafeteria anymore. Not when the warmth caused by Jae’s offer was enough to sink into the deepest confines of your chest, settling there giving you an odd sense of comfort making your heart hum happily.

Both you and Jae did not see Wonpil and Younghyun looking at each other with goofy grins before leaving both of you heading towards their next classes.

The hand holding the sweater shook once. “We don’t have all day here loser. My noodle arm really can’t hold this jacket forever. I skipped arm day last week” you held your hand out placing it on the jacket, but you still didn’t take the jacket swallowing harshly and clearing your throat. You looked at Jae beneath your eyelashes blinking slowly at him ,heart pounding against your rib cage. At that moment, nobody but you and Jae existed.

“Are you sure?” your unsure question made Jae roll his eyes, his next actions happening so fast you had no time to properly react. He grasped your wrist from the hand placed on his jacket still in his hand drawing your body towards his with so much force your hips briefly bumped against his. He let go of your wrist instead grabbing his jacket with both hands, and you were forced to put your hand on his shoulder to stop yourself from actually crashing into him.

His arms went around you putting his jacket around your head in order to hang the jacket on your shoulders making sure it covered you enough so the cold wouldn’t bother you anymore. You were pretty sure the whole cafeteria could hear how loud and fast your heart was beating. You couldn’t think straight. The only thing you could even process was Jae’s hands still on the lapel of the jacket, barely brushing the part of your stomach above your belly button.

You seemed to get a control of your body as you looked up at him with wide eyes getting met with his face closer than it had ever been, the lightest flush on his cheek bones and lips slightly parted. You could see your hand trembling with pure adrenaline as the hand that wasn’t on his shoulder reached up to fix his tilted glasses and messy hair. The hand on his shoulder was close enough to his chest to feel the slight drum of his heart unusually fast for someone who was basically standing still.

You really weren’t sure why you were surprised. Jae had always gone out of his for you. Always done little things to take care of you in his own little way. Holding your hand when the professor handed back assignments rubbing your knuckles with his thumb reassuringly, playing his guitar when you were in a sad mood at the park you sometimes visited after coming back from the noodle place, gently brushing your hair away from your face when it fell on your face while writing notes, or crushing you in a hug when you didn’t get the grade you wanted hand gently holding you against him.

He always joined in on your childish behavior by pushing you on the swing or going down the slide with you at the park, always bringing you your favorite snacks from the convenience store he walked by on the way to class knowing fully well you sometimes forgot to eat, or even letting you spill your tears to him on days you just didn’t feel good.

He had always stuck by your side. During both good days and bad days even managing to make the bad days good days just by being there with you making it his mission to make you smile. All this made you come to a realization. Sure, maybe what you had for him before was nothing but a silly crush, but now as you got to know him more and become someone he confided in, the feelings you got around him were crystal clear.

You were in love with Jaehyung Park, and now that you knew what you were feeling, you wanted to scream it to the whole world. What you were feeling was something so beautiful and precious that people only dreamed to experience. You weren’t sure if the vile world would ever allow you to feel this ethereal emotion ever again, and as you looked up at the man your heart had so harshly and deeply fallen for, you were terrified. You didn’t want to ruin what you had.

You wanted to stay like this, blissfully unaware of each other's true feelings for one another. Even if your body and heart longed to be close to him, to touch him, feel him, and know every crevice and inch of him, you counted yourself lucky to be able to be close to him like this, where your probably unreturned feelings didn’t make anything awkward or burdensome for anyone.

You felt a little prick at your eye cursing yourself for wanting to cry, but you managed a small smile in Jae’s direction taking a step away from him and suggesting you sit back down since you both still had time before you had to go to class. He sat on the opposite side of the table as you, gaze not straying away from you.

You took a deep breath feeling tingles running along your spine since the air between you both had become tense filled with something you couldn’t identify. You both remained silent sitting there. You became fidgety, stretching your legs in front of you only for your right leg to gently bump against what you assumed to be the pole supporting and holding the table up. You were staring outside watching all the students pass by happily ignorant to the slight change in relationship between the two friends sitting across each other sitting in silence.

You absentmindedly started running your leg up and down the pole under the table when you heard a weird sputtering sound much alike to choking from a foot away from you. You turned away from the window looking at the man across from you only to flinch back in surprise with the sight you were met with.

Jae was staring at you with wide panicked eyes, and his shaking arm held up to his face, but even with the arm you could see the red tinting his chest, neck, face, and ears. His chest was heaving and you could see his whole body trembling. You instantly grew worried all focus going to Jae assuming there was something seriously wrong with him. The table wasn’t that wide which allowed you to lean closer to his body holding your palm to his forehead feeling it was abnormally hot. You anxiously tapped your foot against the pole supporting the table. “Jae are you okay?” you heard him gasp out an answer not being able to understand at all when you felt the pole under the table slightly move against your leg.

Wait, poles can’t move.

#day6 fanfic #day6 #day6 angst #day6 fluff #day6 fanfiction #day6 requests #day6 reactions #day6 reaction #day6 imagines #day6 imagine #day6 scenarios #day6 scenario #day6 oneshot #jae x reader #jae angst #jae fluff #jae fanfic #jae fanfiction #jae imagines #jae imagine #jae scenarios #jae scenario #jae oneshot #day6 x reader #jae park x reader #jae park imagine #jae park scenario

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Alex ze Pirate Mini Review 4: The EED: Emotional Exposition Dump. Or why THIS is not friendship

So here we are. The last part of this 45 page three parter, meant to be about what Sam really means to the crew. And what have we seen so far in the previous parts? That Sam is not just their underappreciated, but downright exploited slave (yeah, did you know that in ancient Greece slaves supposedly had more rights than Sam in this one? At least they could buy out their freedom one day), that Dobson has no idea how to genuinely pace a story, turning what could have been a decent 100 page story if planned out and presented with more care into a 45 page short snore fest and that Hat Andy’s idea for jokes are either based on abusing token buttmonkeys, turning annoying memes into even more unfunny jokes or making dark comedy with dead orphans.

At least when South Park makes jokes about children dying, they are appropriate in that dark setting and the death is still in some way handled or refered to as a horrific event. In Dobson’s case however, it just leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

Sorry, I just can’t get over the orphanage thing. If Dobson wanted the reason for Sam leaving be that he finds out someone he cared about from his old life is dead, that is one thing. But did this asshole have to destroy an entire building with countless victims to do it? Couldn’t he just have one person die and the rest be still at that place? Honestly, I think it would have been funnier and more meaningful emotionally, if Alex and Co actually interacted with people from Sam’s past and in doing so learn more about him as a person, by genuinely visiting a still standing orphanage. Give the comic some meat on the bones and in doing so actually create the impression this comic is truly about Sam and not just about characters doing random stuff in relation to finding him. Instead Dobson goes for a literal overkill, which he then does not even treat as a tragedy but as a joke.

Dobson, THIS is a better and more dignified joke about orphans than the shit you did.

You got outclassed by Chuck Lorree of all people on this planet, you disgrace of a storyteller. A storyteller who can’t even keep his own barely existing continuity in the Alex-verse straight, now that I think of it. After all, according to Legends, the orphanage was closed and all the orphans were sold out to others, with Sam being the last of the litter

Which again is just unintentionally more horrific than Dobson likely intented. But you know, dumb people don’t know when they do dumb shit.

But I digress Let us just get into the last part. In which we finally see the “emotional” pay off of everything that happened so far.

 Spoilers, this is my reaction to that pay off.

And here is what everything led up to now.

 Sam ran away, because he wants to say his final farewell to his sister figure, we never knew about at all and about whom we do not learn one single thing really.

 Where do I begin with how this revelation fails?

Let’s start with the fact that this in execution does not have the emotional impact that was intended. And why is that? Because Dobson doesn’t bother to actually introduce us to the sister as a character.

If I may digress a bit to talk about One Piece here: In the manga, oftentimes Oda will “interrupt” an ongoing story arc to feature flashback chapters, through which he tells about past events referenced in the “present” chapters prior. Through those flashbacks he further gives meaning to why in present time the characters facing certain foes or having to win in their current situation, is so important, even on an emotional level. In short, those flashbacks are no interruptions, they are integral in giving those story arcs emotional weight.

Because now we are not just “told” why we should care about things and people, we have been shown why we should care. The old rule of “show, don’t tell” being followed on.

A good example from a more “recent” storyline I can think of, is through the flashback chapters of the Dress Rosa story arc, where we are not only being shown how De Flamingo took over the kingdom of Dress Rosa and brought pain and misery over its people for years to come, but also the past of characters such as the gladiator Rebecca and Mr. Soldier, her father figure that raised her up from the time she was 10 and De Flamingo took over… only for the flashbacks to also reveal properly how Mr Soldier is not just a father figure for her that took her in, but her biological father Kyros, who had been turned into a toy by one of De Flamingo’s henchmen via a power, that also took Rebecca’s memories of her dad away so she never identified the toy as her dad.

This way Oda achieves multiple things at once; Among other things, he establishes how evil De Flamingo is, how tragic Mr Soldier and Rebecca’s lives really are, adding to us the readers wanting to see them and Luffy beat De Flamingo into a pulp and it makes the later “present day” moment when Mr. Soldier and many other victims turn back to normal and Rebecca regains her memories and is reunited with her dad so much more sweeter. Cause now we care.

Truth be told, I myself believe that Oda is one of few storytellers on this planet, who truly has “mastered” the technique of emotional flashback storytelling.

A technique Dobson could have used in this part of the story, but didn’t. Cause honestly, the way he tells how Sam’s sister was “important” to our poor cabin boy is not emotionally engaging from a storytelling perspective. We are told she is important, but we learn genuinely nothing about her, not even what her name was and what she looked like except from that one picture in the locket from over 15 pages ago. Nothing about how “close” she and Sam truly were is revealed through showing, only telling and as such we don’t even begin to care for her relationship with Sam and how her loss is genuinely important to him. So the main goal of this story, to make us the readers feel something for Sam aside of pity for how he is treated by his supposed friends, has not been achieved.

 … Dobson, you are a hack. You can’t even use flashbacks, a basic technique in the realm of storytelling, to show us why we should “care” more, heck, even at all, about Sam and his loss.

If you just had adjusted a few things, you could have had something good here.

By adjustments I mean the following: Take the first page of this chapter as well as the first panel of the second page, and combine them into the final page of the previous chapter. In doing so creating a proper cliffhanger for part two. Then start chapter 3 of with a few pages (lets say 6 or so) showing young Sam and his sister interacting in the orphanage in doing so turning her from a nameless plotdevice into a genuine person to care about. And then use content of page 2 and 3 of this chapter, to elaborate on their relationship, potentially with small cuts always between present day Sam at the grave explaining himself and saying his farewells, with pictures of the past showing what they meant to each other.

 But nope. This very basic idea a fanfic writer now has come up with, a fanfic writer who never studied literature or took writing classes by the way, something I doubt you did at college the more I read your work, has never crossed your “superior” mind.

Also, I find Sam’s text on page 3 really, really backwards in a way. Like, I get that we are meant to consider it a good thing Sam is this way. You know, being genuinely selfless and wanting to make others happy. And don’t get me wrong, generosity and selflessness are virtues I hold in high regard. But the way Sam talks about how he just wanted her to be happy while sacrificing any fulfillment of basic needs for himself feels more like a pathological disorder in that case than something to reach for. In fact, psychology speaks from different forms of generosity and the thing Sam describes here is likely “compulsive giving” or “unrelenting generosity”, a pathological variant that can be highly toxic for all people affected by it.

Funny how Dobson, a person who wants to claim he is all for mental healthcare, is essentially “promoting” the positivity of a psychological disorder via Sam.

 Then again, this also feels more like Dobson putting words into Sam’s mouth (in a literal sense) to retroactively make Sam’s treatment look less horrid. Cause now Sam doesn’t just do all the work because he is ordered around, he deep down is “happy” doing all of the work and gain not even some basic respect in return, because he cares so deeply for his friends.

… I feel myself get livid again here.

And the next few pages don’t really help me “calm down”.

 Cause now the “justifications” just go on. The thing that is meant to be a heartfelt farewell turning into Sam “justifying” that hey, it must be good that he ended up with Alex and her crew. Cause after all, by being abducted years ago and being treated as a slave who in the ginger’s eyes is worth less than lint, he likely avoided dying of shitting his pants and a crushing roof. Ignoring the fact that he was going to be sold out anyway back then and would have potentially ended up with a more generous master than the crew of non Captain Syrup.

Also, just all of the shit going on in page 6. Sam asking his “sister” to be at peace, when likely, if the girl could still talk, she may even just ask Sam the following: Who the heck are you. Cause really, if you think about it, if Sam did all the nice things for her in secret, did the girl even realize she had a “big brother” figure to watch over her? Also, him saying he is happy and he is doing quite alright for himself?

All the pictures of him sighing and looking in misery in this story alone, plus the cavalry of strips I posted about how Sam is abused in the first part of this post series tells me another story.

Finally, Sam’s message “At least now, we are both free”? Sam, she is dead, likely having died in pain when a house crushed on her, weakened by a deadly disease and traumatized by other children around her dying of said disease. And you are stuck with a bunch of people that haven’t shown to care for you up until this story and the only reason they may even care for you now is out of “sympathy” because you lost your sister figure, not because they genuinely love and care for you as a person. As far as I am concerned, you would be better off being the slaveboy of some nymphomanic pirate princess in the world of Berserk than you are on this plane of existence.

And now that the “emotional” farewell is out of the way, Dobson can go back to focus on the characters he really cares about in this shit anyway: Little Bitch Annie, lesbian chocolate rain Miroku and Deadpool’s pubes.

 Oh Alex, you are such a rascal. You really make me want to shoot you with a crossbow, stab you in the eye, hurl you out a window and shove explosives where the sun won’t shine.

Yeah yeah, you are a pirate, but that doesn’t mean you need to be that awful as a person or even protagonist.

Christ. For someone who complains how toxic Walter White is to the point he believes “sympathizing” with the character turns you into a nazi, Dobson certainly is blind to how awful Alex really is, particularly as protagonist in a comic series intented for little kids. Compared to her, I can think of freaking slasher movie villains with more of a moral compass. Like say what you want about Jigsaw, at least he never victimized genuine children or teenagers.

And Talus, thanks for ruining the “emotional” moment Sam “earned” by pointing out how weird it is he kissed a gravestone. Also, I am glad I know what happens in the next pages or else I would assume Alex’s great idea includes to dig up his sister and turn her into a life sized doll for Sam to cuddle.

No, their ideas to assure he is emotionally save and to redeem themselves for years of taking him for granted/hurting him, is to throw him a surprise party.

… you know, I think you may be the only individuals in fiction, that Pinkie Pie would think do not deserve to throw a party or get one thrown for.

 But I guess Sam is just so nice, he even throws you a party for no apparent reason.

Either that or now that his “sister” is dead he will overcompensate even more and this is the next destructive stage of his compulsive generosity.

… Sam, I am sorry for your loss. But you need to get help. Once by the authorities who will hopefully get rid of Alex and then by some psychologist who helps you redefine your own self worth.

By the way, I find it funny that the banner he made also actually only mentions Talus, Atea and Captain Daphne with a bad hair day. It just confirms that Peggy either never bothered to join the others or that Dobson developed an early onset of dementia and totally forgot about the fact that the midget is a genuine character in this trainwrack. And I am convinced the later is the case, which really just makes me wonder how someone is able to do that. To forget a major character of the thing they create and want to turn into a money making franchise. Imagine if Disney did e.g. a sequel to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, only to forget about the god damn dwarves themselves.

At least Talus finally realizes he is unworthy to get a party thrown or be Sam’s friends. Good. Now jump into a wood chipper and free ourselves from your existence you dog beaver thing.

Content of the next page in a just alternate universe… Alex: You are a better human being than I could ever be and this is all because my creator is a hack who does not know how to create genuinely likable personalities.

The reality:

 FUCK YOU, ALEX! FUCK YOU AND THE BIKE PUMP YOU FLEW IN ON! Atea and Talus have learnt more than you about what it means to be a friend and they don’t even bother to punch you in the face for still being the biggest red haired  raging cunt since Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

If this is how Dobson thinks “friends” should treat each other, it is no wonder he has a friendless background. Hey, Hat Andy, if you want to emulate manga, may I suggest you just become even more blatantly about it and simply copy paste One Piece? Cause Luffy at least knows how to be a friend. How much does he care for his friends, strangers and even at times former enemies of his?

He cares so much, that e.g. when a special military force that beat the crap out of him got hands on his crewmate Nico Robin, he did THIS:

He declared war on the world government. Fuck, even Jack Sparrow, who is an opportunistic jackass, in a movie where everyone stabs the others at least three times in the back, was less selffish than Alex, when he gave up his chance on immortality as Captain of the Flying Dutchman, just so Will would live in some form.

Metalbeard from the Lego Movie cared more about doing the right thing than anyone in Alex the pirate did. You created the worst friends and “heroes” I have ever seen in a webcomic since the entirety of sinfest. Congratulations for that accomplishment, Dobson. It really takes a special kind of anti-talent to show such level of not understanding the power of friendship as one of the most basic tropes in storytelling, to the point a show about pastel colored equines managed to profit of it for nine years.

 WOOOOO! We are the worst, we are the worst!

And look, Uncle Pennywise’s scrotum is back.

Anyway, here are the last two pages of this thing, to end on what is meant to be a whimsical note because Sam actually gets something from Alex that is not a beating or verbal abuse.

 Too bad anything that would feel heartwarming about this is drowned by a) me actually remembering all the shit Alex, the crew and the writer pull to get to this point (from abusive neglect of the characters to pathetic emotional manipulation on a narrative level) and b) the weird rapey face Uncle Peggy makes in the picture. Like Jesus, did Dobson try to emulate the Burger King here?

But hey, this story is over. And who knows, perhaps from this moment on, Sam will actually be treated better overall in the comic and Dobson will spend time actually developing an overall plot and the world of this com-

Tom Kenny: ONE COMIC STRIP LATER

And it is back to business as usual.

... How much would I need to pay for someone on the internet to write an alternate ending to the story where it turns out Sam actually poisoned the food at the party and while Alex is slowly dying, a now evil Sam who has finally broke under years of abuse, is going to become a genuine threatening pirat? that is after he villain monologues to Alex how much she sucks before scalping her?

Wow, I am entering a dark place right now. I think I need to take a break.

So I am going to give my final verdict on this story with the next post around the weekend most likely. Cause that is how much time I will now spend rereading One Piece and watching the Pirates of the Carribean movies in addition to playing the Pirates level of Kingdom Hearts 3, in order to forget this shit and remind myself why I think pirates are cool.

#andrew dobson #alex ze pirate #fuck you #hat andy #tom preston #so you are a cartoonist #syac #comic #webcomic #pirates #sam the cabin boy #atea #talus #one piece #magic of friendship this is not

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

#ayri writes #tw drug mention

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars     Shadow      Warriors

            Seas 4

Oh    this-   just    screams      edgy       ��...   Whelp

So is Jar      Jar an     adult,       now,?            (Asking because before his    characteri         zation was force of nature to child

Now he    seems to have his own    personality.

Which is fine   if you want to change some details for the sake of a    better story,      (Or to simply      explore         a new       angle,).    Aesthetic

     Just.            need to make sure I’m holding them to the right standard,

    Okay,

   That-         was    relatively     adult,

  Mm

   Um.

   I

 Aight        .           .       Well-

   Wait 

    Did they just call Jar Jar     away from      Cou-ncil-

    .         I mean they are clearly    trying       which          is   some thing       I do       give credit   for-

   Though                The             Tone              Is            Robot-                 Ic-

       (Though that might be int-         entional since it seems to be hinting that this lady is practicing some kind of         mind tricks on him

   (Aka, he’s doing it         under           tox, because we don’t do suspension of choice in     dra-         mat         ic       Me-     -dia,

 S’up

 What?

  I-

  -

   H-elp

Screw my own   accou-   -ntability     -      See that was the correct   -amount of   emotion-

.        Okay        -         Right-

  Sus-       (pic)

    No one noticed the obvious people right there?

  Like not even      Mr. sus         there?

[or are they just so    kind that it’s like   oh yeah we were just talking hate speech     but go right ahead?

Logic?

 There

  Yeah    some shit is definitely going on,

   For sake of argument*     sake, i’m just going to assume that his reaction to      toxic    behavior

*Account     ability-

 Any way

  I-

  I’m still      going to try,

  Despite  you clearly saying you want understood

   Because assumed authority        - and assuming you know better than a person about themselves

     Is totally ok-

     - In this         society

-[Cries        in       sad    “accountability,”     -of-      war,        ]

  Whelp,

  In-    flue-     n      -c      e

 Still an  adult-

  Okay-

 Imagine    it was just a normal necklace     and he pulled that shit-

[Ok for the sake of argument I’m going to assume the necklace is symbolism for toxic influence,

  Being around it         enabling]

  It-         -       His voice voice dropped like         - 6 octaves

     Also I swear if they try to   excuse him      for his actions-

     No

    Mind over matter     -Okay, so they’re not excusing him for his   -actions,

   Me-          an         -       OK so it’s not naturally evil it    just comes down to the users      so that dude was still totally responsible,

  Didn’t    change    - much

    -     Ha-Ha

  Actual     gas     -lighting”

    Also     persuade,            -             Okay,     good not excusing him       from his actions,      -      Thing

The   gaslighting goes deep      -      Also isn’t the Darkside supposed to be      negative over involvement?      -       Aight-         -       -           A-lone

  Oh yeah that’s a great idea let’s just let the  dude that just got gaslighted and completely fell forward go back into the person who did it,

 👍

     Genius     

    (This Jedi Council is fucking                  brilliant)

     Gas-       Light-         Ing

(Note;      Confronting the gas lighter is never the way       to do it       (Inter-             Gen-)          (Excluding accountability of the abuser     (Gen-break           Venting Pro-      Ced- u        re)

 [as you’re usually too angry     to let them get a word in edgewise        And remain;           in control)

  With inter- gen productivity,         They are possibly given       five warnings before         Being          Kick        ed-]

   For the sake of argu-       ment as well       as simplicity-

    We’re stick       -ing with        bas-         ic-

    If someone’s acting toxic        with you, you         reflect and you don’t have to         hang out with anyone         you don’t want to,

    Logic

   This dude      is very clearly making it obvious that    he’s willing to listen to this person,

 And, enabling

“Cl-”

See he’s gaslighting him again      because   he thinks he can get away with it,

With no   accoun-       tability-

 (Or the small bit      this society      believes      in     which is    jail,”

Wr-

Oh!

 Is he a     Gungan      Jedi?

  Also,

  You Don’t  

    SAY!

(The repeated Gaslighter      who has shown multiple times to be     toxic,       Was toxic,    (And prepared to use any means to      subvert the         will? 

Prize  for the  most   in  competent      Je      di

 Like,        Serious-         (Really had to put those two    accoun  t-      ability- cells      to good -    use-”

(For   matting       issue-)

  The writer just saving us the effort of him coming downstairs -all feckin- weird, and the   obvious    “should’ve seen that coming,     “

   ?             ha-ha

    What?

Oh yeah       no the creepy magical stuff wasn’t enough of a      fecking clue in-

  Appar-

   Whelp-

  He   snapped out of that quick-

  Like didn’t even need a      reverse- mind trick

   Good for      him-

   And - actual-     nar-    rative-        -

   Whelp,

   Wreck-ing      -house

       Okay, but how do you think this is going to look to the general public like two Jedi,( very good at persuasion -    mind tricks’ -just showed up, now they’re leader and said Jedi are wreck-ing one of their minster’s houses-  

     One who could’ve     feign-           ed lack of support for the        war

     Like if this is a     set up-  

 the chips-      are about to fall,

 Da-

Okay, seriously how obviously evil,    was this person?

Like we have a weird creepy room,     The robots apparently hanging from the    chandelier    (eck)         And      the knife

   Like if this person      ever-       went-   through a checkpoint

   Also,        Oh-

    That-

   (That     really        does not      look good,)

    Bo-ss

   Yeah,       she clearly has    medical experience,

 (Also yeah    that’s really going to make it    better-”

 Oh yeah the    senator was      seen trying to clean up the      evidence-

    Well the Jedi ran out     full sword’s- a blazing

    (Instead of you know the       Senator chasing after him,         While the peacekeeper stayed behind and tried to        tend to the person,]

   Great     -        -       Or    Not-

Well- tensions    just got raised,

  Of,

 Ai.     Ght, 

 Whelp,

(Okay, no way he’s totally not dead      but sure-)

 A-i-

  -

 Whe-

   That-       sucks-          -         Un-     Con-cious

    That-   doesn’t tell me anything else-

   Like;        Critical      condition?

   D-usk

   Li-terally       no one else?

    (Like don’t get me wrong I’ve been a pretty big Jar-jar fan ever since the change-)

   But really, the Senator, the person that spends the most time away from your - planet

   That’s the person,     they trust the most?

  Ai-

  Hm-

Oh yeah just put on the deadly leaders hat-

   The rese-mblance-

   Not really?

   I mean all humans technically    look the same-

  But-

 Pretty sure Jar jar is a lot      scrawn-         thin        -er

    Also if they’re not going to listen to him as him       they’re not going to listen to him      as he pretends to be their (dead) leader

Also, please don’t go with the      liar revealed plot,

    Yeah no, they have completely different kind of light.   tones,

     The face structure-

    Co-mpletely         different-

     -

   Nope

 -Dead

 Di-ssent

  Agree

   I-

   OK yeah I’m just gonna go over the fact, that as previously state,  I am not a huge fan of the liar revealed plot-

    -or lying

  (No because it’s- unrealistic-    - or there’s anything wrong with it

  -people do lie

     -maybe because of how overdone and             poorly done it’s been,

             -With the liar getting off Scott free without any                  weight

               But I really don’t like this               plot-

-And    the   skip    button    maybe   used     ad-     nausuem-   -

       [Well- shit       [for reference; I was using the skip button ad nausuem when I randomly stopped at the part      with    Greivous

        Things just got a whole lot worse]

         [Tumblr             Refresh]       -

   Any        Way,

   Aww,     That’s kind of nice the    friendship and reliance       the dude has on      Other-        Half            -         Yes        ‘Boss       Leoni’        when someone gets         tox         you leave-        - In a      - relation          ship-  

      Also yeah he’s definitely not       ‘Boss         Leoni’            -            He would’ve stayed and tried to take the    tox

 (Aka Jar-jar is less ena-     bling, les-        tox-     And     Doesn’t       Take        It        For          Much        More.            Than            He            Has               To,

        (He’s   les   -s

      Dyfun.  -c)

      Okay

       Good            Job     -     Also - yeah   how’d you manage that         -         That-

Didn’t get   car   ried up the chain of   com-     mand-        -            Then again Gri-   evous has shown to be a pretty   shit boss.     -      So I can’t blame these guys    for being like yeah compl-      ete stranger     I will totally      take a nap       -right    ,now-         -      You        kinda      have      sticks-        -    [The rain is   really    nice,]

[is this the first time we’ve seen them use active     particle effects      for the camera?

  Either way       it’s really        nice            -

Oh,

They’re    

electric     sticks,

That makes   sense

[- bet     ter      for      Figh     t-      In-       g-

Stop one     1v1     -ing-        It

    I

  W-h

   Again this is what happens when you 1v1 it    and    don’t assume accountability-     - -   

 [Don’t fight a metal cyborg with metal sticks when you’re not prepared to take it, full way,)

   I-

  [I feel like this is supposed to be some    big build up but they only shared like one scene where dude was completely silent,]

  Like,

   Sacr-ifice

    Die to take someone out with you

[Great

  Now

   Ouch]

   Are   they actually going to kill off      grievous because this isn’t look-ing    too    - good      -         Shit-

 Dude-      is still not dead-       -       How?        -          Whelp-           -          Oh,    hey      where the fuck    did you come      from,

 I-           Ack.      Br-u-      Tal

W-el

 -       Un         -         M           -              Plan-

“ damn it        he messed up the       script-,           -Pal   - patine

     Cap-

    Prison   break-

   Also yeah     that’s probably like        a vacation    for him-

 Given     how toxic these assholes     are           -            Ex- change           -           Damn             Ship      per-

      Also screw the 150 or how many other                 sena   -tors        -       Only     Amidala           -      matters          -          A-       ight-     -      Also, dude knows where everyone’s      lair,      Is,

 Like he pissed off Grievous with    -his

 Now he’s just chilling in this      dude’s    sipping earl gray       Or-      Some        Shit-

  Him

  Okay

 Getting a little    ahead of yourself     episode-       -       O k

    I

   Hearing this,  Skywalker doesn’t immediately run back      shout        -ing      nope-        - -       Because, to my knowledge the speaking at      room volume,

  Not    whispering        and the distance        isn’t enough to      -explain it             -            Ai          -   -           Wel-             -      There goes one        min-ion-             -             Droids are apparently    expensive enough to      chastise    Grievous          over-

  But sen-tient - beings are        a dime’     a ‘dozen-

    (Also    gaslighter’s.     don’t give a shit about        you     dear,       God,

  The Painful     dramatic-        irony-

 *tra-      gic-      Wh-      -Oa

 Ai     -     Ri-

  An

  Wh-     -elp,

   You know if it wasn’t for the exposure     earl-        ier   

I would assume they would think that the Jedi was just killing all their Im-por-        tant- elected officials

     Why?

     Wh-at

    He’s right.    -         But dude- that’s pretty      ham fisted-

   I mean-

  How many episodes          (and       possibly        seasons-)      do we have to            go-            - -     Anakin-       is a dick    to lanterns-       -        Also the random theme of the     bots-      coming out of nowhere-    continues-       -     St     -op-          -        Wh-       elp-

    .

    ?         (He          live?)

      I-

      ?

  Good           Play-

     Ah-

    To-

       Oh, yeah,       He’s alive we’re not going to bring that up in any      mention-able way?

      Ike

    Wh     e     l-      p

     Oh           -     That was   -nice-

   You deceived everyone and lied to all          our people,  you’ll make a great      leader,

   Or a great council/    committee leader considering that they do have an open position          ,            Best

I like that they had one bad ass fall and had it replace-d by Dooku being particularly bad-ass       -          In his      place-

In the trade off near the end really speaks to the     frag-ility of war

   I thought-

   It was pretty al-right    Though it really did seem like     - they were trying to build up to something but the structure unfortunately        just didn’t support it,

   Which is unfortunate because they do seem like      bits- that could’ve been nice

   Like Jar-jar being a constant       peacekeeper-

   The underwater        nations-

     Wars be-           tween          - Those               Dude’s

   And that    general guy      -        Who seems to be like he was supposed to be this     - really big deal

 [probably intended to do something      massive in the previous       arcs,]

    But, here,    all he did was that one scene,

    [Would’ve worked better if he was like this Re-       Public Gen-       Er          Al-

    To the      shark guy-

     And Akbar,

     Was just like the resident         enforcer-

     Or something to do with the       prince

    I think it would’ve really worked better with the concept of        ‘being taken’        under,               As well that possibly being a good contrast between     Jar Jar         binks          And        Char-        If Jar- jar got promoted-        With Char being eager at first but then realizing he just         can’t-          And Jar- Jar being reluctant at first but realizing he      can-

   [Note; assumed authority is bad,         Just- some people are better at using it for venting         than others)

   Nope boomers vs throw-         it-back, boom-

       I-

     And it really did feel like this episode       -should’ve been the split one 

   Nearing the end- it started to feel like the 1st-       part of a second ep-

    Which is fine

    Just cut-        of-

   Episode all around being al-right, with just several parts that didn’t make quite sense including the emphasis on the general for that one scene,

[ktheist]

story time: wartime child

warning: spoilers ahead.

this is where i rant, cry and scream about my fics. not all fics have a story time though! the ones that do just kind of have a special place in my heart ♥️

ok. where to start?

i.

i think the how i get inspiration for wartime child should be a good start.

i don’t really remember though. all i know was i read @softlyjiminie’s to hold a dragon’s heart. the part where she highlights the forest made a big impact on me - esp being someone who needs to imagine the scenes as i read, i was easily transported into that fic’s world. (and of course fraener was influenced by taehyung’s shapeshifter character!)

so i wanted to write another universe. the idea of races being at war was already there since who knows how long and i already wrote an excerpt of it months ago - before i even thought of the main character being jungkook or the involvement of a certain magical baby. but the concept was much darker and made it hard to me to continue writing. initially, the oc was supposed to be queen of the underworld who got tired of hiding and decided to rule the humans. then war breaks out - that’s as far as i got.

but felt like i needed to do extra research about races and their abilities. and of course ya girl was too lazy to research so i scraped the dark themes of war - not that the current wartime child is light but it’s lighter than i originally had in mind. couldn’t have been all fluff since someone actually died lmao

so i got started again on the idea after reading THADH. it just started coming to me yk - who’ll it be about? jk because he’s easiest to write. is there a twist? a magical baby! and ideas kept pouring from there on.

and i’m so glad i took my time with the fic - didn’t rush it, slept on some scenes and woke up with a better version or addition. i suppose it wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for quarantine and that gave all the time in the world.

but i hope everyone stays safe and that this pandemic ends soon. there are people out there who can’t afford to miss their jobs and have bills to pay. i hope the government does its job and help the people and let go of whatever political, financial interest they have. and to my readers specifically, i hope they’re holding on and staying safe and healthy.

ii.

i think i’m particularly proud of myself for holding back mary sue-ing the oc. i’m so glad i made her human and stuck with that until the end.

her character is a personal landmark for me - she’s the first character i wrote that isn’t emotionally detached in order to make an oc look “strong”. in a way, that kind of thinking (being emotionally distant to be a strong person) is toxic.

i don’t know if it is for others but i can only speak from my experience. i’d been that girl that thought crying was a part of being weak and not showing emotions means you’re strong - i was wrong sue me lmao

but yeah, i have a soft spot for the oc because she’s finally the “evolved” version of my mindset.

i think more often than not, we tend to associate the words “strong women” with physical strength or having a sort of control over people. while it is part of strength, it’s not the only definition of a strong woman. i’ve always held onto to the concept that the root of empowerment isn’t breaking the stereotype but it’s being able to choose to do whatever the fuck you want - stereotype or not. you want to go to work, have a successful career life? go for it. you want to get married, stay at home and take care of your kids? yas queen. you wanna find your own path and skip college? inspiring.

so to me, the oc was strong in her own way. she had decided to keep her kid and live for the two of them - ofc it was dumb of her not to ask for monetary aid from the baby daddy but her pride is part of her flaw and i love it. she was prideful in the beginning and didn’t want to depend on anyone. but what’s empowering for me is she took a brave step to reach out for jk for the best of her child’s interest. and when she found out he wasn’t coming back after jumping into the portal head first, she stayed strong for jun and raised him by herself - ofc she had help from taehyung and taeyeon but friends can only help so much. at the end of the day it’s just her and her kid. it’s just - her choice to be the mother to her kid is so powerful to me.

but i guess i mary sue-d jun a bit. but then again, you don’t always get a magical genius kid and struggle to raise em because they’re not how you raise normal kids lmao

iii.

god i hate kids.

but there are some that are sweet and pure and we just don’t deserve them yk? those are the kids i absolutely am soft for. and whew the baby fever - i saw too many baby videos on my timeline on twitter so you get jun!

i don’t want kids mainly bc they’re assholes but i’m horrified if i had one, i end up raising them as an asshole.

that’s when jun was born - the manifestation of the kid i never had and how i’d raise him. but irl isn’t that easy, you might slip up and end up raising a mini you-asshole. and ik for a fact that a neutral evil (me) is somewhat an asshole.

at first, i thought of just giving him a minor role here and there but i’m a winger and don’t outline my fics so he ends up probably with more screen time than jungkook.

call it fanfiction but koo’s baby edition lmao

iv.

the real mvp?

definitely the manga/manhwa(s) i read prior to writing wartime child. they’re another form of universe that sucked me in completely.

i have them to thank because i think my narration got way smoother. i used to struggle with that - i couldn’t convey my character’s emotions properly to the readers and i think that’s what makes a big difference in whether a fic becomes liked more or less.

but then again, the likes may very well depend on tumblr’s algorithm. so at the end of the day, i think got lucky with the amount of notes.

v.

none the less, the support i got was beyond my imagination. mainly because it was all fluff and angst and lacked sexual content.

not that i’m saying a fic needs to have smut in order to attract more readers but i think we should acknowledge that the ones with sexual content gets better audience and that’s amazing too. shout out to all the writers who are able to write amazing sex scenes - that shit ain’t easy 🙌

i wish i could thank every single one of my readers for reading and the potential ones who probably liked or reblogged as a “to-read-list”. and i don’t know if my sincerity reaches the ones i manage to thank. i’m not good with words and i want each respond to a feedback to be different and meaningful but i don’t know if i managed to do that. but i’m truly grateful for those who reblogged with a comment, it made my whole week.

and i remember kirbykook’s ask - i’m guilty for keeping it in my inbox for longer than i should. they’d asked about the future of the fic and what would happen after jun’s little sibling is born. it gave me a reason to revisit wartime child’s world and realize how much i enjoy writing that fic ♥️

x

so that’s all for story time! thank you for reading 💓

#bts scenarios #bts #jungkook #fic: wartime child #jungkook scenarios #bts scenario #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #bts fic

[tsukidotcom]

Tsukishima Kei — Teasing

This is referring to more of a friendship with Kei than a romantic relationship. But you could think of it either way :)

Okay obviously this man is going to be a huge tease. Shorter than him by a few inches? Will make fun of your height. Your hair naturally brown? Will call you shitty hair (bakugou is that you?).

He won’t say sorry about it, either. Unless you visibly show you’re legitimately hurt by it. Like deeply hurt by it.

It Was At This Moment That He Knew, He Fucked Up.

You guys probably will avoid each other for a few days before Yamaguchi makes him talk to you. Once when you and him are alone he will be really awkward about it. A lot of unwanted tension and unneeded silence.

He’ll blurt out he’s sincerely sorry. Maybe even treat you afterwords by buying you a meatbun/your favorite snack. He isn’t familiar with words and how to use them. His tone of voice may come out wrong or he says something he doesn’t mean. Please don’t react harshly by what he says baby is really trying his best 🥺 Give him a few minutes to untangle his words and say it properly.

Once when he finally got his shit together by then you know he’s sincere and you feel better. You might chuckle a little bit because he’s just a goofy hot mess. He’s so funny trying to apologize to you. like a child !

He will never admit this out loud—and I mean NEVER—but he does care about you. Teasing is just his way of showing affection. The more he teases the more he seems to like you. But he doesn’t want you to know he likes you. So he does the OPPOSITE of love; hate. Tease. Being obnoxiously,, out of his way, rude. Another reason why he teases is to hide how he feels? Like if he suddenly becomes embarrassed he’ll call you “bakka” or some other mean comment to hide the fact his face is a very deep shade of beetroot.

He also teases because he likes your attention. Who knew a snarky comment could give him all the attention in the world?

Again, he‘s aware he can take things too far, but he never actually knows the what. What causes things to be too far. What does he SAY that’s bad. Why? When? Where? Who?

In his noggin, he knows he doesn’t think the things he says are true. So when you take it seriously he seems clueless at first

Poor Tsukishima,, thinking people can read his mind and know he’s joking.

After thinking the situation through your perspective, he can see how much of an asshole he really looked. Mental facepalm.

Once when you guys make up, and I mean the SECOND you make up, he is back to being a salty saltine cracker. Will say lighthearted remarks.

He will probably purposely call you a ✨nostalgic✨ nickname or say the most used remark he always uses on you. I say nostalgic like one of the first insults he ever said to you.

Since you guys have been avoiding each other, being able to hear Tsukishima’s remarks somehow made you happy??? Especially a older one.

He’s considerate idk 🥰

And babey really does have a heart please 🥺 he just hides it with his salty comments. Everyone notices his mean remarks but if you analyze them you’d realize he meant something TOTALLY different.

For example:

“Hey, Shorty.”

“I’m not short!!!”

“I have to bend down just to be able to look at you.”

“I will steal your knee caps before you get the chance to run away.”

“You’re legs are so short, N/N-san. You wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.”

What he was really saying was;

“I want you’re attention. look at me.”

“oh, here’s you’re attention.”

“Not Enough .”

“Wha-”

“m o r e”

Yeah, he’s subtle like that.

After you two get it off, his way of words starts to rub off of you. Whether you like it or not. You suddenly know great combacks whenever you get into an argument. Always leaving the other person speechless. You learned from the best, after all 😳

If you tell him that you learned from the best, he’ll most likely feel flustered. A sudden tint of pink rose to his cheeks and the tip of his ears. He’ll call you stupid and useless as he looks the opposite direction of you to cover his face. Because you’ve been picking up his own habits you start teasing him.

“Awwe, is Tsukishima-kun flustered?”

“No—Boke.”

He’s so used to you teasing/insulting him that when you actually compliment him he doesn’t know how to act. Even if it was more on the sarcastic side he’ll still freeze up like 😀 whut.

He also just adores you so a compliment from you is everything 🥰🥰 a mega softy on the inside don’t fight me on this.

All in all is a real jokster 😅🤣 but can and will be serious when needed. He will always be there for you. He isn’t good with words but is real good with actions.

If he notices you’re visibly sad he’ll (snarkily) ask if you want to hang/study at his place. If you accept y’all would just chill out in his room. He would be wearing his headphones, doing homework on his desk or something while you sit on his bed, a big dino plushy wrapped around your hands. Probably scrolling mindlessly through your phone. Sometimes each others presence is all you guys need. Suddenly you don’t feel as sad.

If you’re really sad and just end up breaking down, venting and/or crying out to him, he’ll listen and won’t interrupt you. Headphones = off.

Don’t expect him to say a speech or reassuring words. He doesn’t know shit when it comes to that type of stuff. You shouldn’t expect him to hug you, either. Even tho most people would react that way Tsukishima isn’t like that.

“Oi, what are you-”

“Tsukki,” you sniff, “I can’t do this anymore....” You bury your face in the dino plushy, hugging it closer to your chest.

You go off and complain about your life. He would definitely be surprised/taken aback. He’d just drop whatever he was doing and listen to you. If someone did something bad to you (a bad friend, dark past, toxic relationships, etc.,) He’s imagining how to confront them at tomorrow at school ❤️😌

But that would have to wait. He definitely wouldn’t say a mean comment. If he does, it would only be one that could make you laugh. Lift your spirit. In the moment, he might put a hand on your shoulder, arm, or back. Just to remind you he’s here. And you might lean into his touch. You just spoiled your deepest insecurities and past, after all. You’re vunerable to him now. And honestly Tsukishima might be the best person for that.

He’s quiet and reserved even though he says loud, evil comments all the time at everyone. Nobody can read his facial features because he always stares with a blank face. Nobody can pinpoint what he’s thinking. And nobody asks because he hides well behind the wall of Tsukki Insults™️©. Even being as tall as 190 cm, he can hide pretty well. He can definitely keep a secret and act like nothing happened.

He also might rub circles on your back or squeeze your arm/shoulder as a way of saying “you’re okay” “i’m here” “don’t worry”

This isn’t his typical style but this is definitely a side of him that’s there. It’s just nobody sees it.

After you feel better, he’d act back to normal and keep on doing his work. If not, he’s probably babying you a little bit. Will give you water or warm milk (warm milk and cookies, maybe??) and put on a movie on his tv in his room. The tv is small but, i mean,, it’s there.

Turn off the lights for you. Maybe make popcorn or any snack you like.

“But—Tsukki. You’re homework... you won’t be able to do it in the dark.”

“It’s fine. I can do it in the morning.”

“Are you sure..?”

“Yes, baka, I’m sure.” He ?softly¿ scowls

You’d be under the warm covers. He’d probably be in bed, too. Not under the covers though. And he makes sure to keep his distance. A few ft seperate you guys. The only way that gap is gonna close is if you move yourself.

If you do,,, he’d definitely ask and tease you. ‘oh, you wanna be near me?’ “shut up.”

Honestly you probably feel touch deprived, or touch deprivation. After all that crying and thinking bad thoughts. You’d probably want a simple hug but Tsuki would never give that to you and you know it. Even if you directly asked he wouldn’t. And watching a movie in the dark just makes the atmosphere so moody..? Perfect rime for cuddles!

I dont blame you 💔🥺

Kei wouldn’t move away but he wouldn’t suddenly put an arm over your shoulder or anything. He’s gonna keep to himself. He won’t mind sitting like a few inches apart. If your shoulders are slightly touching? He’s gonna get a lil tense. If you are noticeably leaning onto him and your legs are close to his (even when they’re under covers) he is gonna be rEalLY tense and flustered.

“What do you want, creep.”

“Nothing.”

“Liar. Just spill it.”

“Mm, I just want to be with you. Is that okay?” You say, teasingly innocent.

A flustered tsuki tenses his shoulders, “I’m already with you, dumbass.”

“Saying useless insults now, are you?”

“Shut up.”

Will probably end up leaning on you a bit, too :>

If you fall asleep he’s just gonna let you sleep on his bed all night and sleep on the couch or something. His neck will be a pain in the morning which he’ll make you buy him a strawberry shortcake as a thanks for his bravery and sacrifice.

“Here’s your shitty shortcake, your highness.” You say sarcastically.

He gives you that signature smirk, “This is what happens when you fall asleep after balling your eyes out to me-”

“Hey!” You grow pink out of embarrassment. You’re an ugly cryer so you didn’t even want to imagine what Tsukishima witnessed.

“Uh...., T-Thanks for listening, by the way..”

“Oi, don’t start getting sentimental.”

“I-I’m not!” you protest, “Can I not say thanks? I mean, you helped me... a lot. I always bottle things up.... so i...”

“It’s fine. You repayed me by giving me this strawberry shortcake.” He eats another bite

You look up at him and smile. You could tell he meant that he doesn’t mind it. And for you to shut up before he gets flustered again.

Tsukishima Kei cares for you 101

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #sports anime #anime #anime headcanons #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima kei #xreader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #hq tsukki #tsukki x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #hq tsukishima

[awed-frog]

When you say romance should be 18 and over do you mean the brand of romance we know today (aka toxic) or romance as a whole? If we wrote healthy romance aimed at younger crowds or presented unhealthy behaviour as unhealthy behaviour in regular romance (for older crowds) would that be a good solution?

Well - I see three questions here, all of them incredibly complex and beyond interesting: should art be political and is censorship ever a good idea and also is the romance genre okay? The answer to all of them, in my opinion, is ‘no but’.

1) Should art be political?

The stupid thing is, art is inherently political, whether you want it to or not, but art that’s deliberately political tends to be awful, and that’s a universal truth both for left-wing stuff and for right-wing stuff. When you willingly create political stuff, what you’re crafting is propaganda, and proganda is generally sad and bad. I guess there is propaganda that’s also good art - Victor Hugo’s The Man Who Laughs comes to mind - but the problem is, not all of us are Victor Hugo. 

That said, since whatever we create is political (because man is a social animal) and will have some kind of moral message, yes - ideally we want more art with an ethically ‘good’ moral message than we want garbage, because art (and here I include everything: books, movies and so on) is perhaps the most effective and impactful mind-shaper ever. That’s why Disney is doing its very best to be a monopoly, after all. But: I don’t have a good solution for how to ensure art is nice. I think art is nice when artists are nice, and artists are nice when they grow up in good, healthy societies. So the more a society rots from the inside out, the more likely it is you’ll find art that’s also rotten. I mean, while romance as a genre was always a bit dodgy (see below), what that article was talking about - the rise of the possessive, violent boyfriend and domestic abuse as the great love story - is sort of a recent phenomenon, and goes hand in hand with the deterioration of women’s rights in (Western) society. 

(As an aside, I’m not sure I agree (young) women are necessarily misogynistic for reading crap like Fiftfy Shades: I think (young) women are exhausted. Fifty Shades is, more than anything, an ode to undeserved capitalism - the only kind that seems open as an option today. After all, we know trickle-down capitalism doesn’t work and most of us will toil and toil for very little; Christian Grey is the antidote to that, the guy who shows up, basically kidnaps you, and smothers you in a life of riches for which the only thing you must do in return is give up. Having someone else decide on your job, your car, your possessions and clothes, where you’ll live, what you’ll eat and when, whether you’ll take birth control (lol: obviously not), when you’ll see your friends and family plus when and how you’ll orgasm - what women tried to escape for generations is suddenly the dream for many of us - not because of any new political ideology, but because we’re beyond tired. Women, like men, are now crushed in a neverending cycle of bs, underpaid jobs, and are apparently fed up enough in taking responsibility for anything that not only romance and ‘superhuman’ characters are booming, but a very specific kind of subset of that: essentially, slave fics. 

Just give up your agency, and you’ll be taken care of and cherished - forever.

I understand a kink is not the same as your actual political opinion, but still - I’m not enthusiastic about this trend, and I’m even less enthusiastic when it gobbles up young women who haven’t had time to experience real life relationships.)

No, I think that in the end, the answer is - if you reverse the rotting of society, automatically - statistically - you’ll get healthier artists and a healthier audience. So, really, the fight is always the same: better paid jobs, better (and free) schools, more opportunities for continued education of any kind, more democracy and transparency, more green spaces and better living conditions.

2) Is censorship ever a good idea?

Sadly, no. You’d think the logical conclusion of what I just said would be, ‘In the meantime, let’s ban the most dangerous stuff’ or something, and while part of me is tempted to support that, censorship has a way of ending very badly no matter how good and noble your intentions are.

(Self-censorship should be more of a thing, though: not everything that goes through our minds deserves to be seen and shared.)

What sucks at the moment is that on the one hand, capitalism is operating its own censorship; and on the other, its desperate search for new markets has led to a disastrous disintegration of actual human interactions.

So, problem one is that we only publish and market what makes a lot of money, and while that’s normal, to an extent, the result today is that everything is ‘almost the same’ as the previous thing (think sequels, prequels, remakes, obnoxious book covers for books that are basically all the same). So if ‘asshole boyfriend who beats you up’ suddenly makes money, it becomes very hard to escape the trope, because what will be offered to you everywhere is exactly that. This was less of a thing back when our main sources of entertainment were shared (movie theaters, the one family TV, school libraries and so on); now, it’s an epidemic, and as we see with Youtube algorithms, a dangerous one, because this obsession with watching and rewatching ‘almost the same’ inevitably leads to more and more extreme stuff.

Meanwhile, problem two is that the more tailor-made our entertainment is, the less we connect to real people. I know I sound about 90 here, but when all family members are glued to a different screen - mom watching the 50th remake of Eat, Pray, Love, dad down the rabbithole of lizard conspiracy theories, big brother now exploring some milk&peanut butter weirdness on Youporn and younger sister 30 fics deep into Stucky high school AUs - what do they have in common? What do they talk about? What can they even learn from each other? Until recently, and for aeons, fiction was shared, and its primary goal was to form a connection between group members. Now, that’s gone. We destroyed it, without even realizing what we were doing, in the space of twenty years. And yeah - I know you can create new communities, but a) these communities are virtual (which means, for the most part: not real) and b) they tend to connect like with like, which is comforting, perhaps, but not very useful. The whole point here is that we need to learn how to feel empathy and trust for those who’re different, and build a community with them - instead, what the internet is doing is isolating us inside our little bubbles, so much so that any minor disagreement is now seen as good reason to break off contact.

Censorship, however, doesn’t solve any of this. For starters, we need more regulation on how big corporations can get, what social media companies can and can’t do and who can access what kind of material. And it’d be great if we could all unplug a little, but uh - fat chance of that.

3) Is the romance genre okay?

Again, just my opinion, but personally, I mistrust it. There are no romance books for men? Instead, books for men feature a Main Character doing stuff and improving himself while accidentally meeting a Sexy Lamp he can go home to at the end of the story. And, well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but isn’t this a healthier way to look at life? While good relationships are very meaningful (or even the most meaningful) part of any human life, if your goal is to get them, they won’t grow right. You shouldn’t be hyperfocused on finding love; I think it’s much better to be like Main Character: you work on your drawing skills, try a new sport, read poetry, defeat evil Russians, thus developing inner happiness and self-confidence, thus leading you towards towards a partner who’ll fall in love with who you are - not a partner who was looking for some empty shell to fill with their own expectations and preferences.

And I know - romance books and movies are full of exciting non-romantic events and stuff - but still, the fact they’re classified and intended as romance does imply that finding a romantic partner is the ultimate goal. Which, I don’t know, I don’t think it’s healthy, and is a particularly inappropriate message for young women. After all, why is it okay that young men are encouraged to go on ghost hunts, study dinosaurs and save the world while young women are taught to wait around for a broken (possibly violent, but it’s not his fault) bad boy only they can fix? It’s messed up, is what it is, and I may be extreme here, but even the tamest, sweetest romance revolves around the same message: that you’re not complete on your own, and that you should focus on relationships as a way to become a better, happier human being. 

Now, as much as I love this quote -

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” — Oscar Wilde

- obviously there’s no direct cause-and-effect here - you don’t read one book and become a mindless Stepford wife - so I’m not saying, ‘no one should read romance ever’. It’s just - as I said in that other post, we should all enjoy diverse stuff. Read your romance novels, but also read the classics, read some philosophy, a random poem, a badly-written thriller - read Stephen King, read how the OED was written, or a Wikipedia article on the French resistance - anything and everything. Because of capitalism, because of this push towards personalized entertainment, we’re being forced and pigeonholing ourselves in smaller and smaller cages, and the worst thing is - we’re comfortable inside them, because this is the awful truth: cages are comfortable, and that’s why we need to get out before we forget what cages are for.

[As a final point: you say ‘if we wrote’, does it mean you’re an aspiring writer? If so, you shouldn’t worry about any of this. You write what you want, you write the stories you want to read. Just remember to get out of your cage as well - experience, discover, grow, read, dare - and then put all that into your books. I’m sure they’ll be great, whatever your favourite genre.]

#ask #books #romance #entertainment #capitalism #ya #fifty shades of grey #narrative tropes #old woman yells at cloud #the end is nigh #i miss the 90s #potentially unpopular opinion

[illegiblewords]

Some thoughts on critique and sharing work online.

Personally taking offense to the practice of critiquing strangers is pretty destructive imo. I’m not talking about useless insults, or about entitled critics who throw fits if an author doesn’t tailor their work to them. I’m not even talking about the process of sifting through a mean comment to find a shred of something useful.

I developed my own work in part through kind and supportive critics who started off as strangers. A bunch of them have become good friends even to this day, over ten years later. One who I lost contact with (but still remember clearly and am eternally grateful toward) was a guy who commented that I was neglecting setting and physical description in my work. He told me he could see I had talent, but missing that element was a big earmark of fanfic writers. Understandable, but pushing myself to address it would be worthwhile.

He’d never had a single conversation with me before. What he said has played a huge part in how my work has developed. He granted me an opportunity to grow as a creator that without him, I might not have noticed to practice.

I also witnessed, at the time, people who got nasty and discouraging as basic course against budding writers. I was aware that pleasing those critics was a kind of accomplishment because if they didn’t like something they wouldn’t hesitate to say so, but I didn’t and still don’t think that behavior is right for new writers. Or in-general, really.

I’ve had people insult my own work in some really ugly ways, mostly to my face. My writing was compared to mud, called gimmicky, described as (paraphrasing to avoid possible ID) something gratuitous and empty and cheap. The most extreme of these cases were done by professors in front of entire classes during college. I’ve had professors threaten to fail me when I asked for clarification on a critique (how do you shorten a piece when you add content to it?) and I’ve had people I thought were friends so discourage me on the potential of my projects that I just dropped them. Sometimes it got bad to the point that I honestly questioned whether I had any talent and felt deeply ashamed of my work. I’ve won awards since (which ngl real validating right there) and am still working to overcome the worst baggage.

I truly understand how discouraging feedback like that can be. It’s hard, and sometimes it sucks a lot, but as storytellers I believe we have some responsibility to our craft, to ourselves, and to our audiences. It requires being able to step back and ask ourselves honestly what feedback has a kernel of something useful and what is just mean and should be discarded. There is a level of self-possession you just need to own for the sake of what you’re attempting, to know your intent in both making and sharing your work. To judge whether or not you’re meeting that. And if being clear and resonating (at least more often than not) with our audiences is a priority, we need to be willing to “cut up our babies” so to speak so that we can share our ideas as well as we possibly can.

It can be scary to share something you’ve made online. This goes for people just starting and veterans. It’s especially true in current year. I’ve personally seen creators get harassed into suicide attempts by cybermobs numbering in the hundreds. In some of the cases I witnessed, cybermob members even got arrested for this. The phenomenon, which is remarkably prone to targeting creators struggling with mental illness or “model minorities”, is absolutely horrifying and unacceptable. Even if the targets had been bigoted assholes (they weren’t), the cybermobs still would have been the bigger evil.

From a disgruntled audience member standpoint, if someone commits a crime online they need to be reported to the authorities. Not subject to the will of a mob. If someone writes, draws, or otherwise presents something insensitive and personally offensive--you can voice your criticism, but that work has the right to exist too. And rather than try to control another person if they aren’t interested in adjusting, you would be better off not engaging them. Make something of your own and celebrate creators who do fit what you’re looking for.

Cybermobs are not normal critique, but they are more prevalent than normal critique these days. We are currently in a time where people don’t know how to have conversations about ways to improve without personally attacking or outright threatening each other. This goes for those giving and receiving critique. It’s caused some massive problems and has led to many creators being afraid to even try, let alone share their work.

Having someone who respects and believes in your writing, who wants to watch you continue growing, and who won’t begrudge you choosing to discard their advice? That only presents an opportunity to creators for honest insight.

People get scared to offer critique too--especially if they sincerely want to help a creator they respect. Writers can be very sensitive and defensive. How could it be otherwise when you put so much heart into your work and someone tells you a way you can do it more effectively? It’s easy to treat that person like they’re trying to hurt or discourage you, when in reality it’s that they see you building something with an inefficient tool and know another tool that would work better for what you’re trying to make.

Critics are just people. They take their own risks when they execute craft.

We desperately do need to practice healthy critique in storytelling today, as creators and audience members. It used to be common for people to simply say “no critique please!” if they weren’t interested, which was generally respected. To instead try to shift things so that any person who dares approach a stranger with constructive criticism is doing something rude or immoral I think is not just counterproductive but potentially toxic harmful toward writing communities.

#storytime with urban lol #started this a while ago decided to post after all

[yamithediaperdork]

How to make a big dumb baby (mortal instruments)

Jace sat up in his bed, looking around wildly as his alarm clock screeched at him to wake up. the shadow hunter didn't even recall going to bed last night, the last thing the blond recalled he'd been going into Alec's room to have a drink of what Alec had called 'the good stuff' and then.. nothing. "Man..it must of been hella strong." The blond said, rubbing the back of his head and slamming on the top of the alarm clock, shutting it up. Sure there had been black outs before, but he'd normally at least recall the first few drinks. 'At least I'm not hung over.' He thought, though there was a funny taste in his mouth that was familiar, but he couldn't quite place. Moving to slid out of bed, Jace winced, his asshole crying out in pain and he whined as he got up and stumbled for his personal bathroom, reaching back to conquer a growing itch on his ass. 'Then again maybe this so called good stuff gave me the shits.' Jace groaned. In his bathroom now, he dropped the only clothes he was wearing, a pair of boxer shorts, and checked himself out in the full body mirror hanging on the door. "Where the FUCK are my pubes!?!" He cried out, looking down and seeing that his crotch was bare as a babies. the cool air helped with the itching but as Jace turned around to check out his ass, he could see it was slightly red all over. '...Did I try and shave myself down there and give myself razor burn on my ass?!?' He wondered, face going crimson. a mental image of him tipsy and working a shaving razor popped in his head and he shuddered. the pain in his asshole was mostly fading, but in for a penny, in for a pound, Jace spread his cheeks and looked over his shoulder. and saw that his formerly tight rosebud had blossomed so to peak into a semi gaping hole. '...oh fuck me.. did I go all faggy while drunk again?' the blond mentally whined. it had happened before, he'd seen the video of it that was thankfully kept off of YouTube of him flirting with guys by asking them if they wanted to watch him shove a beer bottle up his ass bottom first. the video also had Alec in it stopping him and saying sorry to the guys at the bar. 'fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! I bet he couldn't stop me in time..Jesus.. I'll just avoid him for today and say sorry tonight.' Jace decided.

Meanwhile, in anther room Alec was re-watching the video he'd taken from the night before. there was Jace alright, but unlike what the blond thought, he hadn't had a drop of booze. In fact last night had been the end result of 4 months of effort, working on the stupid blond to wear down all of his defenses and get at the sponge the boy dared to call a mind. Unlike most people who would of worked that hard and long, and had such a evil grin on their face while watching the end results of their hard work, Alec had no really evil plans for the stupid blond. Unless of course you counted making a smug blond bitch into a faggot diaper wearing cum dump evil. In which case, yeah. he was VERY evil.

The video in question had Jace freshly shaven, with his eyes glazed over, laying on his tummy and wiggling his butt for the camera. "Pweasssse daddy..give me a cum enema so i can make a pwesent fer ou!" Jace whined, almost in tears as he looked over his shoulder. "Sorry buddy." Came Alec's voice. "but you need a real enema first." "Nuuuu want dick in my faggot ass and daddy dick da best!" Jace pouted, looking like a giant toddler about to have a fit. "Little man, you keep going and daddy won't use any lube or baby powder, and you'll get a diaper rash." Alec's voice warned. "ou wouldn't!' "try me!" the video went on with Jace squealing as a cock shaped nozzle was shoved in his ass, making the blonds 6 inch cock dribble and make a mess, and then the enema flow of 1 week worth of piss poured into the dumb babies tummy, forcing him to get on his hands and knees as his belly ballooned. "Oh! Oh daddy! I's so full~" Jace moaned, the glazed eyes had lust in them and even with his cock stuffed and belly sloshing with Alec's piss.. the blond called over and get close. "Put da phone down and give me ba-ba?" Jace asked, and as the video angled down, it was easy to see the blond bitch nuzzling the front of Alec's pants. "Well i suppose. but only because you know I spoil you." Alec teased. the video followed as Alec took a seat on the edge of his bed, and Jace crawled over, tugging the enema rack and his nuzzle alone with him. with daddies cock freed from his jeans, Jace gave it a nice fat sloppy kiss on the cock head, then showed he didn't have a gag reflex as he took all 8 and half inches without gagging. Alec recalled how he'd felt the boy using his throat muscles to milk him without even pulling back for air for a good 20 seconds, before the blond's head turned into a blur. it was almost as if the impending big dumb baby couldn't stand to have the cock out of his throat one second longer then needed, and as a result Alec who could normally last a good half hour had cum in under two minutes of the assault from the babies throat. "B-Baby daddies gonna.." Alec moaned in the video. Jace pulled off and pumped daddies cock with his hands, and pointed the massive fuck meat at his own face, eyes closed but mouth wide open and tongue hanging out. "Ahhhhh!" the baby giggled. Jace's cock was throbbing and leaking and as daddy painted his face, the dumb hypnotized baby came too, though while full pleasure orgasms were clearly rocking him, and his dick was twitching like crazy, his cum just dribbled out in a slow steady stream driving the poor baby mad. Still the baby didn't whine too much and ran his tongue over his mouth. "Mmm real daddy flavor!"" he giggled and then posed with his hands making the peace sin for the video. "what are you baby Jace?" "I'm daddies cum dumpster!" the baby coo'ed. From there the video followed as Alec wiped the jizz off of the big babies face, making sure to pop the fingers he was using for it in the babies mouth, then it was time to get the cum dumpster in his huggies. taking out a custom diaper that was the bulk of five normal adult baby ones (Hey, Alec wasn't stupid he knew the little stink bag was gonna have to go lots and it was bad enough he was gonna be wiping the stinkers ass, let alone handling leakage) He taped up one side of it fully and had it halfway taped up on the other. the cellphone had been set on a stand to record and Alec looked back and wagged his eyebrows for the viewing audience, then turned his attention back to the cum dumpster. "Alright buddy, Daddies gonna yank your cock nozzle out, I know it'll be hard but I want you to try and hold your poopies in till daddy finish's diapering you. you think you can do that or are you just a dumb diaper baby who should be in diapers 24/7?" Alec asked, reaching in and griping the nozzle. "Um..dat a trick question daddy?" Jace coo'ed, looking over his shoulder and giving a dip shit grin. "Cuz I IS a dumb diaper baby who should always be in diapies..But I'll twy fer ou!" the big baby promised. "Good boy." Alec said and yanked the plug out, making the boy go from smiling to making a adorable face. his eyes popped and his mouth when in a 'o' shape and Alec was glad he had recorded it, since as the video showed, he hadn't had time to enjoy it, instead taping the thick diaper shut. within seconds a loud sputtering wet fart filled the room and the massive diaper when from having blue sides and white in the front and back to the back turning a dark and ugly brown as it ballooned out. woah, i didn't think you'd discolor it so fa- GUH!" Alec was saying on the video, leaning down and looking at the damage then jerking back up and holding his nose, waving a hand. "Jesus! for all of you watching, you should be lucky you don't have to SMELL this!" he complained. Jace whined but nodded, holding his nose, and whining out a quiet 'i's stinky' before screwing up his face again. "Ojhhhhh ahhh! Pooopppingggg dadddddyyyy!" the big baby cried out, as more thunderous farts erupted and the diaper sagged even more under the weight of the waste. "yeah no shit Sherlock! Jesus! these where made for containing stink! how are you already-" Alec complained, but was cut off by the stinker. "C-Cuz I'm a BIG STINKY BABY!" Jace moaned and whimpered, blasting out a massive log given the shape the back of the diaper took and his eyes rolling up in his head as he drooled. "DADDY I'M CUMMING! GOO GOO GAGA!! GOO GOO GAGA!!"

The video cut off there, but the rest of the evening played in Alec's mind just fine. Him scolding the stinker, making him crawl around, giving him a poopie horsie ride. when Jace had started to complain that his butt was getting itchy Alec had only told him 'GOOD. it makes up for having to smell you!' and the big baby had only nodded and offered up his mouth to say sorry with a mouth present. All and all the only hitch in the plan was he hadn't counted on how fucking toxic the big baby could be, and planned on making him wear two of the massive diapers the next time. Sure, the diapers weren't cheap but Alec had to protect his nose.

the day passed without incident for the most part. there was a nest of shape shifters who had to e killed sure, and a rouge mage who was planning on summoning a army of the dead to take over the city, but really all and all, it was a normal day at work for the crew. the thing that stood out the most was the distance that Jace was keeping from Alec, and the fact that Jace kept scratching at his butt. "Jesus, do you have fleas or something?" Clary asked, the millionth or so time he reached back. "If your chafing THAT back maybe cut down on all the black leather, just a thought!" Jace had pouted and blushed, and muttered off a insult but then they went back to work.

With everything looking quiet for the night, Jace finally made his way to Alec's room. he'd gotten his hands on a certain remedy for his itchy butt after being forced to look into it, and the diaper cream was making his silk boxers stick to his butt while giving off a faint aroma. Knocking on the door, Jace semi hoped that Alec wouldn't be in, but to his dismay the door opened up almost right away. "Yes?" Alec asked, a amused look on his face. "I uh..Can I come in?" Jace asked, rubbing the back of his head and looking sheepish. "I suppose so. did you want anther drink of the good stuff?" Alec asked, walking away from the door but leaving it open for Jace to come in. "NO! I mean..I'm thankful you shared it it..but.. " Jace squirmed and blushed more and struggled to say what he came to say. "why don't you take a seat." Alec offered, gesturing to a chair. "Yeah OK." Jace said faintly. "So, May I assume by that reaction, and you're blush, you don't recall what you did last night, but your worried you made a ass out of yourself?" Alec asked, smirking, and shutting the door. "Y-yeah.. I mean.. I think I.. uh.." Jace trailed off. "You think you went all faggy again?" Alec supplied, smirking. "That's one way of putting it, yeah." Jace said. "Well I can assure you, that you were a lot of fun, and you might of been a little silly, but it's all good. you really seemed to need to unwhine. Are you sure you don't want something to drink?" "Look I uh.. I woke up and..well..I'm BALD down..there..soo..Did I-" Jace whined, squirming. "oh, you didn't shave yourself. I did that for you. Seemed safer and well I got to eyeball the goods." Alec said, pouring himself a bit of rye. "WHAT!?!" "well it was let you do it yourself and cut yourself, or do it for you, or worse, you were gonna go door to door looking for help." Alec lied. "Bullshit!" Jace said hotly. "I know i can get a little crazy, but there's no way I would of-" "-sigh- Your right of course. Damn it. I really wanted to stretch this out, have fun with it but your just being a annoying little twat monkey." Alec said. "Excuse me?" "I didn't stutter boy. I've been working you for months and the pay off was last night. you didn't have a drop of liquor Jace, I put you in a trance and then made you into my little diaper filling faggot." Alec said, Sipping his drink and his tone more suggested he was talking about a local sports team then making his friend into a diaper fag slave. "...Y-Your joking right? because that's not fucking funny!" Jace said, taken back. "Actually it kinda was, you should see your adorable pooping face..Daddies little man." Jace went to go and get up, but felt a strange calmness flood his body and he stayed seated, getting a goofy grin on his face and a finger went up his nose. "Right now you're still aware, but under my control. this state isn't maintainable long term and I was hoping to have longer to use it on you. But before I blank out your adult mind and r5educe you to a 24/7 diaper shitting cum guzzler I wanted to let you know I'm sorry." Alec said, coming over and patting Jace's head even as the helpless soon to be permanent big baby dug for nose gold. "It's s'ok daddy. I forgive ya." Jace said automatically, while his mind screamed out for help. "Thank you little guy, but don't interrupt daddy. I'm sorry I didn't do this to you sooner you arrogant piece of shit. I want you to know I'm gonna enjoy telling everyone that you were my closet big baby and suffered a break down, that you just wanna be a big baby all the time. and who knows,m maybe in 10 or so years I'll get sick of wiping your shitty ass and let you grow up again. " Alec said, pulling the finger out of the boys nose and wiping it clean. "Any last words before I plunge you into diaper shitting hell?" Alec asked, kissing the blonds cheek. "Big boy words." Instantly Jace felt he had control over his own mouth, and while his stupid grin wouldn't go away he glared at Alec. "You can't do this! there's no way someone won't figure this out. You really think the other will let you just kee-" "Baby talk." Alec said, waving a hand and rolling his eyes. "I can't believe you wasted your chance to try and bargain with me to make cliche threats. Then again not like it would of done you any good." "Oh gosh daddy I can't wait for total diapies all the time! can you spank me lots too? Pleassssse?" Jace heard himself pleading, and found himself on his knees holding his hands together. "Heh, well if it's what YOU want." Alec said with a sneer.

Knowing he had time before he'd have to put Jace under deeper, Alec decided to out the little diaper fag while he was fully aware. He knew the others actually were just as sick of Jace's shit as him, and had in any case implanted triggers in them that would encourage them to be just as teasing and mean with the baby as he was. Jace wouldn't find any help there. Deciding to make it as humiliating as possible, Alec went all out with triple diapering Jace and then spending the better part of a half hour working up a tiny pair of white shorts over the diaper, positive that when the first messing the now forever baby was gonna rip the shorts anyways. to go with them though he added a little sailor top that was more like a crop top and showed off Jace's brilliant 6 pack that would soon be replaced with chub from all the baby food the stupid baby was gonna be fed. A pair of navy blue socks and black dress shoes when on the dumb babies feet and a sailor hat on the head completed the look. "well don't you look cute~" Alec teased, taping Jace's nose. "Sailor Jace reporting for dooty sir!" the big baby giggled out loud as Jace mentally kept repeating how this couldn't be happening. Giving the big baby a bottle of apple juice mixed with piss and a powerful laxative, Alec took Jace's hand and helped the big baby walk toward the door. "Ready for the first day of the rest of your life?" He asked the blond, who was chugging on his ba-ba and too distracted to answer. A bubbly fart came out of Jace's backside instead, and Alec smirked. "Well said."

The end

[tumblunni]

Wow i had such a weird dream?? The story itself wasnt too unusual, just an emotional moment of an anime that doesnt exist, but the way the dream delivered it was really confusing!

The plot of this apparant anime was that there was some sort of ragtag group of monster people wandering the earth looking for a place they could belong without being hated. And i got the feeling here that they'd just found a place where things were going good, but the show's recurring villains appeared and revealed their secret to the town and now they had to flee again as everyone they thought was a friend took up pitchforks against them.

And the main focus character was really interesting? I dont think he was actually the protagonist but he got the focal role in this episode. Cos the monsters had to disguise themselves as humans to live in this town, and this was the youngest monster who didnt know how to do that yet. He had a really emotional struggle of pushing himself so hard to try and master this skill, because he was actually unique amoung the group for being a monster that was actually once human. So it was a combination of frustration at being a burden to his new friends, with desperation to finally see his own face in the mirror again.

And I feel like maybe before he became a monster he was bigoted against them and scared of them? Within the dream i recalled watching that other episode some other day, and apparantly it was super emotional. It started off just seeming like another 'we find the town of the day along our journey and meet some friends and/or solve a conflict' type thing. And this kid was mostly antagonistic through the episode, a dumb naive kid who believed everything negative about monsters and now struggled with the situation of being the only one who knew the truth that these guys are monsters but also now theyre doubting whether they should reveal it because these people seem so..normal?? And scared?? Starts to doubt whether all the other monsters executed by the corrupt church in their town were fully sentient too, and every time the 'nice' priest was teaching them how to spot liars he was really teaching them how to kill innocent monster people who were just as scared as the humans are of them. But the roots of gaslighting and abuse from this priest ran deep, so the kid struggled with the choice and ultimately made the wrong decision. Also i think maybe theres a reveal that the priest was actually their biological dad too, just for even more levels of why theyd make that wrong decision. And more reasons why its horrifying that the priest dad just treats his kid like shit once they outlived their usefulness. Im thinking something like the kid tries to make up for their mistake and save the protagonists but they get captured by their dad and like.. Ok holy fuck this dude is outright willing to murder his son and he's eminantly aware that these monster people are 100% sentiebt because he's using the threat of killing his son as a way to get them to lay down their weapons and agree to be recaptured. And then i think there was something super messed up when it was revealed all the monster attacks that happened to the town to get them so scared and paranoid were actually orchestrated by the priest as a form of control over his citizens. He had some sort of Ominous Doom Science to both turn people into monsters and control them to do his bidding. And like the predictable asshole he is, even after the protagonists gave up in order to save the kid he still killed him anyway. And after snapping his neck he threw him down into the prison cell with the protagonists and was like 'lets torment them by making them fight the kid they wanted to save'. Because it turned out he'd been doping the kid with a special dose of the monster formula ever since birth, and he was his 'secret weapon' all along without knowing it. Ultra super mega concentrated doom form of the artifical monsters he uses in his army, activated upon the moment of the kid's death. But then it turns out the ultimate experiment was too much for him to control and the kid was able to keep their mind in their new form, and turn against him to save their new friends. But when they realized what had happened to them, they broke down in fear. And everything was super depressing cos the protagonists knew this poor kid was now doomed to share their fate as monsters, and theyd have to take them away fron everythung theyd ever known in order to keep them safe. But also heartwarming at the same time because the kid had never known a truly loving family before, and as they passed out in the arms of main protagonist mom friend werewolf they felt like maybe this is what having a real family is like...

So anyway that led to a bit of an angsty team dynamic with this new recruit? The kid was obviously all new to monsterness and terrified of everything. But also even now they were struggling with that 'what if my abusive dad is right' instinct drilled into them from all those years. They still struggled with really believing that monsters arent evil, and like 'no i must have only disobeyed him because i was infected and i didnt know it, monsters are evil and i became one because i'm evil too'. Unwilling to believe that their dad did that to them and trying to find excuses where it would be their own fault. Maybe the kid was even tricked by another villain at some point who lied about having a cure? Like even whenthey became more able to trust their new monster friends they were still like 'theyd be happier if they became normal right?' Lots of angst and messing up and this poor kid feeling not only weak and useless to the team but also outright toxic to them.

So all of this led to this situation where disguising yourself as a human is a skill all the other team members already mastered and this kid is struggling real hard to accomplish it in order to save the day. Ans its extra depressing cos they havent seen their original human face in months, and theyre trying to cling onto the memories but scared they migjt forget what it was like to be human. And then i cant really recall all the details but i feel like the writing and cinematography were just super amazing emotional on this scene of the kid struggling to Do The Thing in time to save their friends, and like.. Atone for all their mistakes.

Also i think like the kid had this big super kaiju ultimate chimera form which was what their dad designed them to be, but also most of the time they were poofed into a tiny mascot sized version of that. And theycd never actually managed to control their powers enough to turn into their battle form willingly until now. Just this super depressing and also uplifting scene of this fuckin tiny monster kid being pinned to the ground underneath the villain's heel, trying desperately to turn human again to save their friends. And i think it was an awesome moment where they did manage to regain their old face for just a few seconds, but instead of actually learning to master the human transformation they learned to master their battle form instead. Like, accepting that that old face isnt who they are anymore, and it wont help like they thought it would. What they really need now is their REAL face! Some sort of dramatic badass speech about this that cuts the villain's philosophy right in half, and then a badass scene of tiny kid finally being able to control (and not be scared of!) their beast form, and fight the whole damn army singlehandedly to save their friends!

Also i think there was an extra emotional moment somewhere along the way where one of yhe villain generals was like 'no, stop, i want to see if they can do this', and actually started motivating the kid. Like i think they were a brainwashed soldier of the old priest bastatd who was sent to kill these monsters supposedly to avenge the priest's dead kid but they were actually starting to have doubts when this terrifying monster that 'killed them' seemed to act so much like a child. So this was the big moment of them finall believing the kid, and getting to see proof it really was them and the priest really was a manipulative evil bastard all along. So i think they switched sides and joined super powered up kiddo in fighting their fellow knights, giving them the keys to go free their friends. And possibly this knight person also joined the team after this and was the first proper human ally theyd ever had? And probably had loads of emotional plots of atoning

ANYWAY that was the cool really engaging story of my dream that i wish i could watch a real anime about!

But the weird part was that this was all delivered really fragmented cos of how little sleep ive had lately. I was seeing it in the form of (for some reason) laying down on the stairs at my abusive father's old house, listening to it playing on the tiny tv he had in his room. And you may have noticed i kept mixing up the kid's pronouns, thats because everyone in the dream was represented visually by a character from some other franchise and it was REALLY confusing! The kid was like an amalgamation of all the dudes from Wolf's Rain which i guess is where the concept of wandering monsters in human illusion came from. (Tho they werent all reverse werewolves like in that show) It was weird cos i knew this character was meant to be a child but they looked like five ripped teenagers smooshed together? Cos i havent seen that show in ages and couldnt even remember the protagonist's name. (Was someone called Hide or is that a guy from tokyo ghoul? I think they had the outfit of the tokyo ghoul guy.) And then predictably the evil priest dad was cornello from full metal alchemist mixed with my old doctor who had the same name. But less predictably the redeemed villain holy paladin knight guy was replica riku from kingdom hearts?? Ans specifically his medal from the app game, like he came with a floating medal attatched to his waist like a mermaid who was also a coffee table.

Also it just ended with a floating box of hair dye that turned to face the camera and it was actually coffee in a hair dye package. Like an exact replica of the blonding bleach i usually use, right down to every detail, but all the text was replaced with coffee info. I..i dont know what that has to do with anything else that just happened...

Oh also i think maybe one of the other teammates was a big cuddly 50-something circus ringleader type guy? He was the friendly comic relief but actually deep downn the most tormented of all of them. He'd been imprisoned as a circus attraction for most of his entire life and dressing up like a ringleader now he was free was kinda a way of coping? But yeh i think he bonded well with the kid cos they both didnt have much experience with being free and everything seemed new and scary. This guy also didnt have much experience of monster society either cos he'd been enslaved since he was a child. Man this anime sounds so fuckin intense and dark and emotional but also full of powerful friendship!! Why cant i watch any more episodes!! give me a sequel dream!!

#weird dream tag

[centeris2]

After leaving her trial, Rebecca goes to Dino Valley for solitude, only to be disrupted by a strange noise coming from the frozen lake. The Kallters tell her a bit of their history.

(Following one of the "slaughter Rebecca's feelings" tumblr prompt lines) (The previous part is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7866757/chapters/17966164 (guess who found stuff I forgot to publish here but posted on tumblr? it me!)

mystical-nature-nerd-deactivate asked: PLS DONT LEAVE ME AT THAT LIKE THIS FOR YOU HAVE NOT SLAUGHTERED REBECCAS FEELINGS BUT YOU HAVE BRUTALLY SLAIN MINE

Lucky for Rebecca, she and Midnightwarrior did not have to go all the way to the Kallter camp in order to get some warmer clothes, the AAE camp happily supplied her with more than enough snow gear to brave the frozen valley.

The biting wind gave her something else to think about, she desperately didn’t want to think about the trial the Druids has just put her through. Midnightwarrior, however, was antsy and clearly still thinking about it. Rebecca could feel him stepping higher and harder than he normally did, twitching and swishing his tail in agitation.

Up and down the winding path they went until they turned off and and settled in a snow cave overlooking the lake. Midnightwarrior calmed down, or at least went still, when Rebecca removed his tack and unpacked her backpack and the saddle bags. She wasn’t sure how the Druids did it, magic no doubt, but she was always amazed by how much fit into her bags.

A blanket and quart of oats for Midnightwarrior, a few trips out for firewood, and a dash of gas to get the wet wood burning later and the pair was settled in.

Midnightwarrior merely flicked an ear toward Rebecca when she screamed in frustration.

“I can’t believe them!” she shouted and flumped onto her bedroll on the ground, hands covering her face as she groaned.

“After everything! They just! Gah! Maybe if they actually trained me I wouldn’t have been captured in the first place!” she raged, rolling around on the ground a bit to burn off the anger. Midnightwarrior snorted, reaching over to her and blowing on her hands. She opened her fingers so she could look through them, gazing up at her horse.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m not going to be as useful to them if they don’t train me, and I want to be able to control my powers,” she grumbled and reached up to rub her horse’s face.

“I just wanted to ride horses and go to college,” she complained. He blew warm air on her face, lipping at her nose and making her giggle.

“I can’t not help them. I don’t want the world to end, and if I can help stop it I should, shouldn’t I? I can’t damn the rest of the world because the Druids are assholes,” her fingers stopped tracing his cheeks, hands resting on him.

“I just wanted to ride horses. I didn’t want to kill people,” Midnightwarrior lifted his head, Rebecca sitting up and wrapping her arms around her legs.

“I don’t even know if the Dark Core workers count as people. We know that they brainwash people, maybe none of their employees really have free will. Would that mean I was killing unwilling innocents or was I freeing them? But if they were there on their own free will how much do they really know about who they were working for? How many of them just work for Dark Core because it is a big employer and they need a job? How many are actually malicious? Some of them seem to be mean, like the thieves and some of them clearly don’t care about toxic pollution. But how much of that is individual choice and how much is Dark Core corrupting people? Maybe nasty people are attracted to working for Dark Core because of the power and fear around them. But Lisa never mentioned her dad turning evil, and he has worked for Dark Core since they moved to Jorvik years ago. What if I killed innocent people?” Midnightwarrior rubbed his nose on her head. She had told him all this before, and he still didn’t know how to ease her guilt.

Rebecca jerked up from her sleep, Midnightwarrior snorting at her and raising his head to look at her.

“Did you hear that?” she mumbled, Midnightwarrior’s ears twitching and swiveling to try to find the noise.

A pulse made them both look toward the lake. Rebecca stood up, Midnightwarrior following up from where he had been on the floor curled around her.

Rebecca did not get on Midnightwarrior, and they walked side by side as they made their way down to the frozen lake, following the noise. It reminded Rebecca of a heartbeat, a pulse emanating from under the ice.

Midnightwarrior looked at her when they were standing on the ice, wondering what she would do next. He knew what she had to do. He wished he could tell her what he heard and smelled. But all he could do was nudge her. The stallion knew what was down there, he could hear the beating heart, he could smell the rotting and ash. But Rebecca was limited, she could not sense like he did, humans relied too much on their eyes.

“I have to go down there, don’t I,” Rebecca patted his neck. He nudged her again, calm. She took that as a yes and took off her jacket.

“Keep this warm,” she said with a grin, leaving her jacket over Midnightwarrior’s back before she looked into the crack in the ice.

“What could go wrong?” she muttered before she jumped in.

The cold hit her, shocking the air out of her lungs, her body burning from the cold before she felt numb. This was an incredibly stupid idea.

#sso #star stable #star stable online #fanfiction #starstable #starstableonline #My Work #My Writing

[megacircuit9universe]

Resurrection Stone

WED MAR 04 2020

But that plan only works if the other guy drops out and pledges his delegates to me… well before the convention.  If both of them… with only half the popular vote that Bernie has… are there contesting the nomination… neither of them has any rational argument for getting it.

Therefore, Bernie wins.

To avoid that, by coalescing around one centrist candidate… there is a timer already ticking.  Super Tuesday is already happening, it’s too late to hold Bernie back there!… how bout by the next Super Tuesday on March 10th?

Too soon to give up the dream and back a rival centrist?  

-SAT FEB 29

From my lips to God’s ears, apparently.  

The above quote is from my last entry, the night Biden won South Carolina by a huge margin... first state he’s ever won in his life, despite running in multiple Presidential primaries... and despite doing terrible in the first three states here in 2020.

My theory was, that even if the lesser centrists, like Buttigieg, and Klobuchar dropped out after Super Tuesday, Bloomberg would remain to split the centrist vote with Biden all the way to the convention.

Sanders was looking to win big just three days later... on Super Tuesday, possibly sweeping ten or more of the fourteen states.

Now... I’ve talked about quantum leaps before in politics... where something extremely unlikely to happen, nonetheless happens and changes everything overnight.  And we had one on Super Monday.

Biden did get a nice media bump on Super Sunday, after winning SC on Saturday, and then the seemingly impossible happened on Monday, where both Buttigieg and Klobuchar dropped out, and endorsed Biden.

Seemingly impossible, because it was just one day before the big game, and they both have such huge egos (as do all politicians).  But not only did they drop out and endorse Biden... so did Beto O’rourke!

I feel like such an idiot now for thinking about him as a great running mate for Bernie Sanders... I had no idea he was such a huge tool!  He dropped out of this primary forever ago now, and nobody was even thinking about him, but he still came out to endorse Biden on the same day as Pete and Klobi.

Then, on Tuesday itself, the unthinkable happened and Biden... kicked total ass and won ten of the fourteen states!  

Of the two big prize states, California and Texas, Biden won Texas... though it was a close call there.  Bernie did get a comfortable lead in California... but Biden cleaned his clock in other states he was supposed to win handily.

It can’t be overstated, what a blindsiding upset this was to everybody.  Even by the mainstream media, Joe Biden’s candidacy was thought to be dead.  He’d done terribly.  He was out of money.  And he’d never campaigned at all in any of these Super Tuesday states beforehand.

Meanwhile, Bloomberg, who had spent half a billion (with a, B) dollars on these fourteen Super Tuesday states... did miserably in all of them, winning nothing but American Samoa.

Bloomberg did so badly, that he dropped out today (Super Wednesday) and gave his endorsement to Biden.

Tom Steyer, another billionaire who’d been in the race also dropped out today, but... nobody was ever worried about him.

Elizabeth Warren, who did so badly that she came in third in her home state, after Biden and Sanders, has, for the moment, elected to stay in the race, despite having almost no delegates and having won nothing.

So, what happened here?

Well... word on the street is that Obama himself made a few phone calls in the hours after Joe’s big win in SC... to Pete and Klobi, and convinced them to drop out immediately, for JB’s sake... and then called Beto, just for good measure.

While the iron was still hot from Joe’s SC win, this very unexpected news kept it red hot long enough to turn out dazzled Biden fans in droves on election day.

And it seems to have flipped a lot of Bloomberg voters who were only backing him because they’d accepted that Biden... their true fave... had no chance.

Meanwhile Bernie voters... especially the young ones, had grown a bit complacent, thinking he had a lock on Super Tuesday, and weren’t paying enough attention over a Saturday and Sunday... because they’re young and have partying to do... and hangovers to nurse on Mondays... to realize there was any significant threat to their expectations.*

This all resulted in the political quantum leap we all witnessed, where Joe Biden essentially rose from the grave to steal front runner status from Bernie, in what is very suddenly, a two man race.

It’s important to note here that... this was not trickery.  This was not voter suppression or some kind of evil app designed to massage the numbers.  This was not foreign intervention.

This was... straight up political genius... most likely on the part of Obama... and totally by the rules.

He’s still the figurehead of the Democratic Party.  He’s allowed to make a few phone calls and use his influence to give his former VP the best shot possible.

And hey!   He was President for eight years, so...  shouldn’t we assume he knows more about this kind of shit than any of us do?  His Plan worked amazingly well, after all.

Can’t we just trust Obama to use this same kind of genius to guide Biden safely through a contest with Trump, and into the White House, ending our national nightmare?

Well?..

Obama may be a master of political calculation in many spheres... but his Achilles heel always was... and still is... his faith that Republicans can see reason, and will do the right thing.  

It’s one thing to resurrect Biden in a primary, when only Democrats are voting.

It’s a whole other thing to keep that reanimated zombie alive through a campaign against Trump, who will be ready with a shotgun, hatchet, club, and any other weapon of opportunity to send it back to Hell.

Trump got impeached and acquitted over his plans to destroy Biden by slinging mud about Burisma, but he won’t even need to bother gushing his hands into that goop when Biden is so clearly in the grips of early onset dementia.

Up until now, it’s been easy to brush that under the rug... with Biden being only one of ten or more candidates on a debate stage... his incoherent babble easily drowned out by the nine other assholes vying for the spotlight.

Yes, Trump is also in the early stages of dementia, but nowhere near as far down the road as Biden.

Also, as the incumbent, Trump’s brand of on and off dementia has been incorporated into his branding, and is accepted as normal... and very toxic to his opponents.

Trump will mop the fucking floor with Biden... the way only an extremely spiteful bastard could... to a cognitively disadvantaged, and thus helpless fellow senior.

We all know this is true about Joe Biden at age 77.

Some people do hit dementia in their seventies.  Not many.  Usually that’s a thing that develops in your 80s or even 90s, but for some, it does arrive early, and for Biden...it’s pretty advanced.  That’s down to random chance, but it’s still a fact.

People at his stage of dementia do not just bounce back to full brain function because they got the Democratic nomination for the Presidency...  that’s not how cognitive decline works.

This guy can barely string together a sentence.

And when that happens to your grampa, everybody in the family who loves him so much, will kind of be in denial about it, and rally around him, and give him love and hugs, and try to make him as happy as they can.

But... that’s a hell of a thing to trigger a national electorate to do!

Now, Grampa Joe is in a cage match with Bernie Sanders.

This will not be cute!

Of the three... Trump 73, Biden 77, and Sanders 78... in this extremely unfortunate battle to the death now, of very old grandfathers... Sanders is the oldest, but the only one who still has full command of his mental faculties.

Sanders is still sharp as a tack... metnally.  He did have a heart attack, but hey!  that’s child’s play compared to dementia, when you’re talking about a President in 2020.

Biden, if put on a debate stage with Sanders, will be exposed for his late stage dementia... to the awkward embarrassment of all.

But to try and keep Biden off a debate stage with Sanders, to avoid that, and allow him to coast completely on name recognition, and nostalgia for a pre-Trump era... will only result in putting off that awkward embarrassment until the fall, against Trump... at which point it will be ten thousand times worse.

Obama can smile as eight-bit sunglasses drop over his face, about the Super Tuesday maneuver he so cleverly engineered last minute from his living room, but it’s not a stunt that will work again in the general election against Trump.

For Sanders now... the only hope is that voters do shake off this daze and give him big wins next Tuesday, and the Tuesday after that... solidifying his place as front runner well before the convention.

That’s possible... but at this point I’m not holding my breath about anything.

Still, for argument’s sake, let’s say that the cage match between Biden and Sanders not only gives Sanders the lead back... but also exposes Biden’s dementia to the point where he suspends his campaign.

That’s where Elizabeth Warren comes in.

My going theory is that she is still waiting for Biden to eventually drop out, after racking up a ton of delegates, but ultimately collapsing under the harsh spotlight.

She, then, would swoop in to get Biden’s endorsement, taking all his delegates, and challenge Bernie at the convention, perhaps forcing the super delegates to back her over him... because she’s a little more centrist.

If that happens... she will have won the nomination without having won a single state, and only a handful of delegates under her own steam.

And... Trump would still mop the floor with her because, “Pocahontas.”

She’s a deeply snakey, slimey politician who has proven herself to be so time and again... to the voters who matter in all the states she’s never been able to win even in primaries.

She will lose to Trump.

So... I don’t know where the fuck we go from here, but it’s looking more and more like Trump will get another... fifteen years, because if he wins in 2020, he’s president for life.

I will no longer be surprised if that happens, but... the only thing that can possibly stop it is if Bernie just kills it in every contest from next Tuesday until the Convention.

We’ll see.

I’m going to bed.

*Not to be a young voter apologist, because I’m not. I was  young too... partied a lot and had big hangovers.  I still voted in every election, primary or general, local, state, and federal, from the age of 18 to present (now 50).

It was infuriating in 2016, to see how badly millennials who were very vocal online about their informed political opinions, failed us at the polls.  It’s even more infuriating after three years of Trump, to see them, and now their GenZ counterparts, who are even more vocal online, and more informed... fail us once again at the polls... while in the same breath complaining about how the establishment has destroyed their future.

It’s all fun and games until you’re living under a dictatorship, kids, on a dying planet.

If you don’t get your asses out to vote in the 2020 primaries, you will spend a good sixty years in that hell, cursing yourself every single day that you didn’t vote in that one last little window where we still could, and you were dancing on Tik Tok instead.