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#he needs hugs and a therapist
shellem15 · 6 months
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Thinking about the Dawnfather. A god of light, a god of harvest, a god of the sun itself. Good but not nice, kind but not soft. Life-giving but also scorching. Protective, warm, and kind, but also stern, harsh, and abrasive. His light can foster growth, can protect and guide, but it can also scorch and burn. The sun is warm and nurturing but don’t stare at it too long, child, it’ll blind you.
Was he always so hard? Did he always hide his face with the harsh light of the sun? Or was there a time when he smiled and laughed, let others see him as he truly was?
Thinking about the Schism. Was the Dawnfather close to the Betrayer Gods before they turned? He must have been, Asmodeus wouldn’t be so hung up on him if he wasn’t. Speaking of Asmodeus, he was once a being of light, like the Dawnfather and the Everlight are now. Were they closer than the others? When the Gods came to Exandria, did they come from the same place or were they scattered, a ragtag group of survivors fleeing from predators seeking to devour them? And if the latter is true, did these three beings of light come from the same place? Siblings, born from the same stuff, forever tied to one another?
If this was the case, then, what was their relationship before the Schism? Did they call each other “Brother” and “Sister”? Did they hold each other when they were scared, dry each other’s tears, laugh and joke and tease and fight and make up because they were siblings and they’d always be together, and they loved each other with every fiber of their being and they only had each other. When Predathos came, when it devoured two of their newfound siblings, did the Dawnfather hold them both and promise them that everything was going to be okay because he was their brother and he was going to protect them, all of them. The gods, mortals, the world itself, they would not be devoured, they would not be destroyed, because he was there and would fight until his very last breath to keep them safe.
Wondering then, was that the moment when Asmodeus truly grew to hate their creations? Seeing his brother and sister and siblings risk their lives just to protect some mewling mortal wretches when they could just leave it all behind and start somewhere new. Was that the moment when he realized that mortals had done something to them, changed them when they were not supposed to change. Why else would they risk being devoured by Predathos, why else would they suffer through war with the Primordials? Why else would they choose them over him!? Was this the moment when he decided to conspire with the Primordials and the other Betrayer Gods? To destroy this world and the mortals on it so they could finally leave. And they would leave, of course, because the Dawnfather was his brother and the Everlight was his sister and the Gods were a family, and at the end of the day, they would always be together, and once the corrupting influence of those mortals was gone, they would surely all see reason.
And when the Dawnfather discovered this betrayal, when all the Prime Deities did, he must have been furious. How could they!? His kin, his brother, who had always been by his side through everything, how could they turn around and destroy their creations, their children. And so he and the other Primes took up arms and fought against their own family to protect this world they had created, and their children who inhabited it. Those battles must have been brutal, bonds of comradery broken, kin clashing against kin, screaming curses as they tore each other apart.
During those final battles of the Schism, when the Dawnfather clashed against Asmodeus, did they scream at each other in rage? A twisted reflection of previous squabbles, different because this time it was real, this time there is no forgiveness, no making up. When the Dawnfather knocked Asmodeus down, crushed his throat under his foot and banished him to the Hells, was he yelling when he disowned him? Or was he quiet when he did it, his voice going into a low growl, deadly calm as he told him that he was not his brother anymore. And moments previously, when the Dawnfather could have easily killed him, did he look into Asmodeus’s eyes and see his brother? Scared and hurt by his hands, hands that once held him and swore to protect him. In that moment, did the Dawnfather realize he couldn’t kill him? Because that was his brother and despite everything, he still loved him, and hurting him brought him more grief and pain than he could ever imagine. So instead, he banished him, locked him and all the other Betrayers away because he and the other Primes couldn’t bring themselves to kill their family, but they also couldn’t let them free.
Was this when the Dawnfather obscured his face? Hardened his heart because otherwise he would break, and he cannot break, because the other gods need him to be strong, because Exandria needs him to be strong. And so he stayed strong, despite the grief, despite the guilt, despite the pain of heartbreak, of hurting the ones he loved to protect the ones he loved. And this hardening must have continued, running himself ragged during Calamity, beating back Tharizdun, protecting Ioun after she almost died, sheltering the Everlight after Asmodeus once again betrayed her, stabbed her in the back and left her broken and weak when all she wanted was to do was get her brother back, to save him from his own wrath. Failure after failure after failure to protect those he cared about, to protect his siblings and mortals and Exandria itself. The guilt of his failures must be overwhelming, and these are his failures: Predathos devoured his siblings under his watch, his siblings betrayed them under his watch, Calamity ravaged Exandria under his watch, and even now, the threat of Predathos has once again returned under his watch.
No wonder he is so harsh now, so controlling now: because every time he has failed in his vigilance the world has suffered for it. He can’t fail again; he can’t lose any more siblings. And so, he continues hardening his heart, continues fighting, because the sun must always rise again in the morning, no matter what.
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unknown-lifeform · 10 days
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You know what really got me in Rebirth
How at one point when Cloud and Tifa are reminiscing about Nibelheim, she mentions he always looked at ease by himself, and Cloud asks surprised if it really looked like he enjoyed being on his own
And then later, after we get Vincent, Barret makes a joke about how now they have two loners in the group, and again Cloud takes a moment to realize they are talking about him and is surprised when he does understand
It's just. Cloud does often shut people out - but he is also traumatized and mentally ill and trying to upkeep his own badass image and has Sephiroth fucking with him all the time. Yeah he is not good at talking to people. He's awkward and sarcastic and he is so so bad at emotional talks
But. He's not trying to be a loner. He doesn't consider himself one. He wants to be with people but he is just... bad at doing that. Because he has issues that makes it hard for him to connect, and because clearly he is just naturally awkward given he couldn't connect with other kids even in Nibelheim before anything bad happened. And also, you know, after being on his own for so long it makes sense that being alone is just what he is used to and he never really learnt otherwise
I do think Cloud is a definite introvert, and that he is the kind of person that does better with a small social circle and time for himself. But he is also just so lonely. So lonely that when people do come around and start spending time with him he has no idea what to do about it. Even if you know that he likes the company, deep down
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nowritingonthewall · 9 months
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🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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kaelyx-zac01 · 6 months
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Okay, I love the second season as much as the next guy. But, I'm still waiting for Stede's development: for his trauma and pain to come up. And I know it will come up, I trust in OFMD show runners on that account. But yeah, as much as we would all love for Blackbeard and Stede to be together, there's just so much unresolved with Stede's character that definitely needs to be dealt with before he and Ed could be in any relationship.
I mean, with Ed, at least we get the gravy basket. He's able to realize that the heart of his self-destructive behavior is his self-hatred and the belief that he's unlovable. At least, we see him trying to work things out about himself and resolve that on his own.
But with Stede? Not so much. His strife and insecurities are very much left in the dark. He was literally burdened by guilt the entire first season. The mix of Chauncey's last words and Mary being happier without him literally hammers the fact that he is unneeded -- a burden to others and a presence who destroys everything he touches. And he's afraid that it's the same with Blackbeard. No wonder he's so frustrated with himself that he doesn't blame anyone else but himself for Ed's "death". Or that he doesn't feel very much like a captain. He still believes that he has to be this masculine ideal to be so.
And yet, Stede remains very much a great leader. Despite his issues, he continues to look out for his crew, even if it meant banishing the man he loves. He gives advice to Lucius. He doesn't lash at his crew, despite them literally murdering Ed. He considers the consent of the crew first before bringing Blackbeard again on board. Not to mention, the literal positive impact Stede has on the crew in general. Because of his influence, they're able to create a safe space for each other. His advice in addressing conflict, of talking things through, echo from the mouth of Izzy Hands himself. And don't even get me started on Stede's impact on Ed -- he literally brings the man from the dead.
It seems the entire crew reflects how much positive things Stede has brought to their life. Of his worth as a person. And yet Stede still doesn't see that. To him, he's a shit captain and person, especially with what he did to Ed. And thus, he tries so much to make amends, it tears at my heart, god.
So, yeah I just want the crew to validate Stede. He tries so hard to be a positive, comforting presence to everyone. But, no one AT ALL has sat with Stede to assure him that he's seen -- that he is worthy as he is. And I really hope we get that -- especially if it's Ed. Gosh, that would triumph all the "You wear fine things well" scenes for me
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guardian-of-da-gay · 5 months
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Yall should take all my Knuckles Wachowski angst hc/fics with a grain of 'I once read a fic where the mc was severely traumatized and at one point got triggered and hid himself away in a bathroom where the character that was helping him couldn't get to him and in the morning he emerged, trying his best to pretend it never happened and the character reflected that 'whatever demons he'd faced, he'd faced them alone' and it altered my brain chemistry'
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batfamfucker · 1 year
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There are four main types of Batfam fans in regard to how people interpret Bruce Wayne as a dad (/Joking. This is mostly satire and should not be taken seriously):
Fans that think Bruce is emotionally constipated and isn't the best at being a parent but still tries (Differs per person). Don't necessarily think he's absuive but thinks he can be toxic or have unhealthy expectations for the Robins. Can smell the Oldest Daughter Syndrome coming from Dick and have Family Line (By Conan Gray) as their top song on their Dick inspired playlist and Daddy Issues (By The Neighbourhood) for Jason.
Fans that choose to believe Bruce goes to therapy in their own canon. Love B:WFA. Thinks the comic can be cheesy at times and so find a balance between B:WFA Bruce and Please Go To Therapy BruceTM as their middle ground. He struggles. They advocate that Bruce is not a bad parent, he just has bad writers that seem to forget Bruce wouldn't hurt kids, especially not his own. Love the humane moments and scenes he has in BTAS and the early JL cartoons. He may not be perfect but he's not literally abusive. Whores for Bruce being able to admit when he is wrong and for Jason and Bruce reconciling. I recommend Grow As We Go by Ben Platt for this one.
A mix between the first two. Was fine-ish when Dick was younger. Didn't help him in the healthiest way but eh. Still emotionally constipated but that happened more so after Dick left and Jason died. Started getting better when Tim came back but was still closed off. Should probably go to therapy with the kids so they can drag his ass about all the things he's done that have actually affected them negatively. Understands his mistakes and is also able to admit when he's wrong, eventually. It's not easy but he starts to do better and learns to be more emotionally available. Still has to get chewed out by Alfred sometimes but definitely better than he used to be and it shows. Reconciliation is slow and gradual but progress is made for everyone involved.
The one's I personally avoid for my own sanity and wellbeing:
Think Bruce is a complete bastard and abuser. Want him to choke. Hate any and all interpretations of him. Some of which will refuse to understand how anyone could have a different interpretation. Will point out comics where, in all fairness, he is a dick but forget that characterisation can significantly differ from one series to the next, as comic characters are constantly passed around to different writers and have been for decades. Not to mention movies, shows, etc.
#Bruce Wayne#Batman#Batfam#Batdad#I'm not tagging everyone in the Batfam I can't be assed#Sorry there's like 500#Bruce has a child for every mental disorder he has#Dick is his ADHD. Jason is his C-PTSD. Tim is his Anxiety. Cass is his OCD. Damian is his Autism.#Like bro the therapist is RIGHT there#You have the money just GO#I am a mix of 2 and 3 tbh but more so 2 because he is my comfort fictional father figure. I already have a shit dad irl#I'm not dealing with it in my favourite media too#Type 4 fans scare me I lowkey see so many people like that and I'm like. If the block button wasn't free. I'd be in debt by now#I get that you saw Tom Kings work. So did I. I hate that fuck. But I personally prefer the scene of him in JL with Ace on the swings#Or the one with him playing with shape block toys with a baby whilst Supes and WW handle the questioning#Or when he hugs literally any of his kids#Or the one of him and Jason watching a movie and eating popcorn when Jason's ill. And they have the picture of them posing#Or when he cried in Flashpoint over the letter his dad left him because the little boy in him needed that#Plus any time Bruce and Clark interact as Best Friends. The Golden Age comics where they were basically Dick's gay dads 💀#But yeah. I could make a poll from this tbh.#This is a generalisation on purpose genuinely do not take it seriously#If I see ANY disclosure. It's delete and block on sight#Bruh I'm still recovering from the notes of my Fallout 4 John Hancock in a Drag Race outfit crossover post#I know it sounds like I'm being paranoid but that's because I am. You have not seen the things I have seen in my notes#You do not know of the wars I have fought of over ghoul dicks and high heels#I have seen things I can never burn from my vision. Read things I will never have the mercy of forgetting#Over silly little shitposts. Lmao. Anyway. Here. Have some food.
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allramnostorage · 5 months
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finished watching the mighty nein reunion last night and i know they just needed to finish the show and let people go home but i really hope someone helped caleb unpack all that afterwards because matthew really outdid himself as a storyteller with all that trauma he induced
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lunarw0rks · 6 months
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Early night talks.where reader goes to the kitchen on base at 2am and sees soap up as well.both struggling with insomnia.
It’s like a routine
i feel like
this could be really funny or really depressing
sharing a bottle with him and telling stupid stories, laughing more about them then you should because you're so exhausted and sleep-deprived.
OR
he's nursing a bottle and the quietest you've ever seen him, probably feeling guilty about SOMETHING. sometimes soap wonders if it's his insomnia or his memories keeping him up.
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aestheticsquirmles · 1 year
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Are you going to leave me too, old friend?
AJSJSKJDJS
Okay so I don’t know how many of you know about the markiplier mods charity thing in the markiplier manor discord server that was done recently-
And during one the vids we stumbled upon the W.A.I.A! (Wilfords traumatized robot)
And we chose to do an interview with him-
AND OH MY GOD I- I CANT DUDE- I FRICKEN CANT-
First this bitch runs off with us-
Then he shows his abandonment issues- DEADASS ASKS IF WE ARE GUNNA ABANDON HIM TOO-
Then he dumps even more of the killing accident trauma- then proceeds to terrifyingly chase us down (mods to the rescue)
I NEARLY CRIED BRO I CANT DUDE- PLEASE HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THIS TOO CUZ I NEEDA JUST CRY ABOUT THIS TO SOMEONE 😭😭
I JUST- 😭😭😭 HE NEEDS A HUG PLEASE!! PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE WILFORD A HUG AHSKSK
ALSO YEAH- that’s my y/n persona which is the same as my artist persona cuz I’m too lazy to think of makin that shit separate. It’s basically me just SHOOK from what the fuck he said 😭
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dark-nimbus · 3 months
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Sad headcanon time!
After being captured by the League of Villains, Bakugo has some trauma from the weights his arms were tied down with, which poses a challenge when he has to wear the gauntlets on his hero costume
But instead of growing bitter from the memories, he uses his gauntlets as a means of penance or self-punishment for what he thinks are his “failures.” He uses them as a reminder to grow from his weaknesses
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tragediegh · 7 months
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I just cannot seem to function properly and it feels as though I should like… be able to do that somewhat at this point
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floral-hex · 3 months
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Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.
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lol it’s underwater 🐠
#ugggghhhhh so sad#like genuinely I think my therapist rocks#he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me#I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy#I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks#between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday#I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot#and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say#I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden#and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting#I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕#I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately#I don’t know what I’m going to do#I have to believe it’ll get better#because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point?#also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs.#I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing#and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top…#now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm….#I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh#but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is.#sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning#I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad#but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this#okay be safe#goodbye forever#text
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izzy-b-hands · 6 months
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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deathastrooner · 7 months
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STOP HURTING HIM!
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burnbrightdoll · 10 months
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i have an OVERWHELMING urge to hug steve mcgarrett rn.
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void-tiger · 4 months
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Maybe I just want a little kiss planted on my forehead and nuzzle into a hug and stay there until my brain stops being so mean to me what about that?!
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