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jtl-fics · 11 months

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Fluent Freshman - Part 18

Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.

That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).

All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.

Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?

The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.

No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.

You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.

First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.

“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.

FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.

“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.

Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.

So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.

Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?

They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.

Ah, time to face the music.

At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.

The door opens and…

This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)

“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.

“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.

FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.

Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-

“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.

“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.

What the fuck was a swinger?

His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.

“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.

He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.

????????????????????????????????????????????????

That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.

Especially someone like FF.

Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?

He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.

It’s starting to feel like….

“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.

No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.

“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.

Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.

It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-

“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.

“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.

“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.

“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.

Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.

No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.

He takes a sip.

Oh that’s actually pretty good.

It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.

“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.

“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.

“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.

“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.

FF feels gears start to turn in his head.

“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.

“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…

Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.

Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.

Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.

Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.

Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.

It’d be nice if…

“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.

Andrew was just trying to be nice.

Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.

Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.

“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.

FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.

He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.

“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.

“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.

FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.

He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.

He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.

As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.

Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)

The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)

A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.

While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.

There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.

He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…

“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.

Oh god dammit.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear

#Fluent Freshman AU #FINALLY CAN PUT DOWN MY TAGS #You have no idea the number of times that I had to sing hollaback girl to myself during this #It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S #We have now closed the 'Andrew is going to crazy murder me' emotional arc #The 'Oh god if Andrew or Neil find out that I know Russian they're going to stop being my friends and hate me' arc begins #He's gotten a confirmed 3 friends today #And he got to go to the bathroom #He's riding a high #Not only is it 3 friends it is 3 friends who like him enough to invite him to spend the holiday break together #That's so nice #Andrew is so nice #FF cannot BELIEVE he thought Andrew 'eat these dried apples' Minyard was going to stab him #Captain Neil is lucky to have him #Also Andrew is lucky to have Captain Neil #Neil and Andrew are definitely down in the Speakeasy right now enjoying FF's bathroom break #Andrew's ordered FF another round of Banana daiquiri #Andrew: I can't believe he ate that ice cream. His stomach must have been killing him.#Neil: Yeah he was really pale and sweaty until he started drinking that banana drink #Neil: I'm a little worried about Smith finding the bathroom. Maybe I should go up?#Andrew hand on Neil's thigh: he'll be fine. We can go look if he's not back in 10.#AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG #AFTG Shitpost #AFTG Fic #My Fic #Andreil #FF - Pt.18

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butchsophiewalten · 3 months

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Thought I had posted about this already whups. Martin made a really important twitter thread earlier:

#the walten files #I already said my little piece about this over on twitter. I just hope he's well and that he takes a long break #and that he knows his own mental wellbeing is orders of magnitude more important than any specific date for episode release #I'll admit that i'm really saddened by his attitude here. And my stomach kinda turns whenever he peppers in the little reassurances like-#-'but don't worry i'll still try to get episode 4 on time!!' like Man. that should not be your biggest concern #And all i really hope for is for him to take as long of a break from the series as he needs as often as he needs #and I really hope he can figure out an approach to this series that keeps it fun and enjoyable to work on and that he can be happy with and #-proud of without fucking killing himself over it like he has been #Because this kind of overwork crunch ethic has no upsides for anybody. It's bad for him and it's bad for The Walten Files and it's bad for-#-the community. no one benefits from this

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ganondoodle · 9 months

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(im maybe thinking a little too much about that totk rewritten project ..)

had a cool idea and wanna know what people would prefer; after you beat ganondorf once, marking the half way point of the game, would you rather:

get a long cutscene in which you see some of his memories, that shows why he ended up there and why he is the way he is, with you occasionally being able to walk around in them

get a few sudden flashes of memories, nothing detailed or clear but have 'miasma hearts' spawn across the surface and underground map, a tree like growth of miasma that holds an important memory from the past; they unlock in order of them happening as there are several stages of growth to them, you can find all before seeing the first one but you cant access the memory until the 'tree' has matured, they will grow more the closer you are to unlocking them; they slowly lead you back towards ganondorf and you need all of them to unlock the endboss

#ganondoodles talks #ganondoodles rewrites totk #had this memory miasma tree idea at work and know i cant stop thinking about it #i know it would be yet another memory colelction thing #but this way and making them spawn in order might make it a lil better #... also thought about having some of them be there before the middle fight #but them spawning only after you corner him once leading to essentially an emotional breakdown feels more natural #also been wodnering about whether he should actually kill sonia or just snatch her stone bc ... shes pretty useless without it anyway #and in this version zelda isnt there to replace her either #but maybe that would make him too nice idk nkfdnvgkjdfnk

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toaarcan · 1 month

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You ever think about how extremely traumatic the first two arcs of the Archie reboot would've been for all the characters?

They're just living their normal lives, when one day Sonic starts babbling about a completely different history where most of them were in extremely dire straits, and starts using Nicole to overwrite their extant memories with those of the previous universe.

Like, imagine being Sally in that situation. You come home from a dangerous but routine mission to find all your friends acting like you've just come back from the dead. They hand you your computer and suddenly your mind is filled with memories of a much different world to this one, a much darker and more painful one, filled with death and constant betrayal. Your last memories are now filled with weeks of watching your mechanised, vivisected body mindlessly serve your nemesis, and try to kill your friends and family. You were (probably) awake when Eggman carved you up with a blowtorch, while monologuing creepily about how smart you are, right before he crammed a cannon in where your brain should be. You almost died because Eggman designed your new form so badly that you ran out of power on your first mission as his pawn, only to be 'saved' by someone who loved you, and now doesn't exist.

But it's not just that. That would be bad enough. You also remember that this other version of you had a living mother. A mother who loved her and supported her and tried to be there for her. Yours has been dead since you were a child. You're still a child, but you've never felt less like one than you do right now. You had a brother too. He had a wife and a daughter, you had a niece and and a sister-in-law. They're gone. In fact, they're not just gone. They never existed. You have memories of people that never existed. All your friends apparently do. These other versions of them all had families. Here, they're all orphans, except for Rotor, who now remembers a world where his father wasn't an abusive bastard that serves Eggman out of some warped sense of social darwinism, something he can never have in this one.

On the other hand, your father, whom you know as a kind, generous, and reasonable man, was in this other world a controlling, emotionally abusive asshole, a major factor in a massive mental breakdown you endured and struggled with for months on end.

And then shortly afterwards, these memories begin to fade. Maybe you're okay with forgetting Mecha Sally. Maybe you're okay with forgetting that Nigel was ever Maximilian. But now you're also forgetting Alicia and Elias and Megan and Alexis, people who only existed in your memory. You won't remember how many people Eggman killed with the Super Genesis Wave. There will never be justice for them, and in a few short days, you won't even remember their names.

#Sonic #Sonic the Hedgehog #Archie Sonic #Post-Reboot Archie Sonic #Sally Acorn #Meta #Sally should be allowed to hit Eggman repeatedly with a large axe #She deserves it #So does he #A part of me is somewhat glad that we never got a proper official reaction to the Mecha Sally arc from Sally herself #It allows me to envision it entirely through a fanfic lens where her response would not be stymied by being in a licensed book for kids #If I want to sit here and imagine that the first thing she did after waking up was put out a ''Kill on sight'' order on Eggman #I can do that and SEGA can't stop me #There's no official version where she's sad about it for a few issues and then everything goes back to normal #Really the reboot was a blessing in disguise #I don't think the book could've survived a revert to status quo without fundamentally breaking #The FF were hit with *way* too much trauma for that

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 4 months

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The New Titans #55 (1989)

Batman (2010-) #641

…

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-) #6

…

Batman and Red Hood (2011-) #20

…

Batman (2016-) #138

They sure do bAT&Tman. They sure as hell do.

Yet Jason never thought this way about you.

#Don’t you dare kill them with a simple headshot Jason! I have to keep them alive so I can torment them until they wished they were dead #they’ll never use their hands again. this is the superior way #and you should follow in my footsteps as any self-respecting non-criminal vigilante would in order to keep your conscience squeaky clean #also how dare you not be more understanding of the fact that I completely betrayed your trust #and threw your unhealable trauma in your face and shamelessly admitted to it #after I slit your throat in front of the murderer responsible for that same trauma while he laughed in your face a few years back #god you are a terrible son u are so selfish everything I ever said about you while u were dead was true ur being such a burden rn #also I just love how in batman 640 Bruce was going around interrogating Ollie and Clark (ppl who died + came back)#to find a *~rational~* explanation for how Jason was even here #instead of yk. just being glad your child is alive #and when Damian died he does all this shit to Jason to figure *how to* bring Dami back #after he burned his artwork the same way he emptied out Jason’s room #god you flaming turd of a father never change #the fact that lobdell boiled down Jason’s reasoning to ‘he’s the bad guy and you’re the good guy Jason’#already shows we’re starting off on the wrong foot but #Jason coming back to Bruce in every new comic and saying the same ‘I tried it your way. or sucks’ thing is so silly because #it*#he already learned that decades ago #all the way back in batman 424 lol #you’re just. making him. look like an idiot. but yk what maybe that’s still better than the self-deprecating diversion bs #that’s actually convincing more people ‘yay Jason want redemption this is revolutionary & has definitely never been done a billion times b4 #and is a step in the *right* direction’#my post

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mrs-theirin · 4 months

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still under the full impression that when you defeat saker you should never get attacked by mercenaries again

#fable #fable 3 #like if you kill him. all of them should be scared of you #and if you spare him. well. he ordered them to back off #he considers you a respected ally even #so why tf do i get attacked by mercenaries a day after i defeated him

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cleocatrablossy · 4 months

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#my art #it’s mako mermaid au time let’s fucking go. but I ignored the iconic tail design from the show for reasons of fun.#grian #pearlecentmoon #geminitay #impulsesv #jimmy solidarity #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #so pretty much how it starts is: Grian Pearl Gem Impulse and Jimmy are all mermaids. Scar and Cub work at a marine tours/museum type place.#cub’s in the museum area and scar leads diving tours off the mainland. they decide to look around the island to see if there’s anything the #should propose adding to the museum or tours. they spend the night and Scar falls into the moon pool. he gets dragged back to the surface #and figures it was a really weird dream so he and Cub go back to the mainland. meanwhile Gen Pearl Impulse Grian and Jimmy are freaking out #about what to do because a random human just fell into the moon pool during a full moon. they end up getting kicked out of the pod to go fi #this mess. Pearl ends up getting a moon ring from (undecided likely mermaid watcher character) and they end up getting legs via magic.#shenanigans ensue. it’s summer so they’re pretending to be tourists. and no they aren’t trying to track Scar down to kill him. just make hi #not a mermaid anymore. he probably won’t die from it. cub ends up finding out about the whole ‘scar is a mermaid’ thing pretty quickly and #decides to help out. especially with the whole hiding it while doing diving tours thing. more characters do appear but this lot’s the main #cast of the au.#by the way. fishy order is: sand devil shark- epaulette shark- orca(not a fishy)- clown loach- eviota sigillata- and guppy’s

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evilkitten3 · 3 months

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the hardest thing about being a hirudan fanboy is that like 90% of the stuff people make with them is from when they were younger. no! i don't want that! i want them old and awful!

literally no hirudan art or fic will ever measure up to that one meme of danzou saying "fuck them kids" and hiruzen going "well said". to me

#naruto #naruto shippuden #hirudan #sarutobi hiruzen #shimura danzou #''they're such terrible people tho'' yeah but they don't exist in real life so. i don't actually care that much #in fact i am glad for it. they gave us so much plot #you think sasuke would've been half the character he was if danzou hadn't ordered his family killed?#you think naruto would've been as understanding of others' loneliness if hiruzen hadn't perpetuated his neglectful childhood?#when you think about it. we should be thanking them #to be fair you have to have a very high iq to understand root- *shot in the head six times at close range by a man in an animal mask*#guys i think there may be something wrong with me. just a hunch

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floydleart · 4 months

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Xephos Scar Chart

#planning on making Lalna next #xephos #fanart #yogs #partial nudity #partial nudity cw #scars #scars cw #‘post flux/yoglabs’ is a timeline ref to after Lalna/Nano’s flux is reversed and Xephos dissolves YogLabs #in my timeline at least #scars explained in chronological order:#gunshot (blaster shot technically) from pre-minecraftia when he served in the Federation and had to fight in battles he no longer remembers #technically he should have a small scar on his right ride of his forehead from hitting his head on his escape pod dashboard like twice #but i drew the wrong angle #israphel stab from soi Final Battle where Xephos gets perma-killed (brought back to life and endowed with respawn abilties afterwards)#divine corruption from Ridgedog possession during the Red Matter incident fyi #as well as a post-canon event possession #something something xephos: if i had a nickel for everytime a god possessed my body to save the world i would have two nickels #which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice #vivisection from minecraftian government entity kidnapping him for info on space and after he refuses to give it they dissect him live

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paperlovesadness · 1 year

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Biggest Miles Kane fans (in order):

Alex Turner

Miles Kane himself (rightfully so)

You & me Tumblr friend. (And his mum)

Generally people with taste 👌

#that's it; that's the order #LOOK AT HIM VIBING TO HIS OWN TUNES AS HE SHOULD #I strive to be at least a quarter as confident in myself as this man is #he's doing it so well too. I just love it for him. It's honest and pure and just beautiful #the way we all used to be our own number one fans when we were very small kids #fighting with other kids over which one of us was 'the best' 'the coolest' or whatever it was #we all loved ourselves at one point. It's natural. it's self preservation. it's a great instinct #then society kills that and we need to fight for any remaining bits of it to be able to lead happy lives #well anyway #the way Miles Kane is proud of himself reminds me of that #it's not cocky or arrogant. It's not a persona or act. It's done the pure amazing way we all used to do it. And should strive to still do #Miles Kane seems to be very in touch with his inner child and it makes me very happy 💛#(go stream his music!)#//#my posts #Miles Kane #Miles fucking Kane 💘

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rare-prism-s · 1 year

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i miss him so fucking much !!!! aaaaagggggghhGGGG

#hi david's new bond lines on jp absolutely destroyed me #im killing everyone #AAAAAAAGGGHHH #i miss him !!! come back !!!!#i know i know i know but him coming back would diminish his sacrifice #i dont care !!! his human life was wrought with worry and he deserves to live without having to worry about the end of humanity and how he's #tied into it !!!#this man should be running through akihabara with us right now !!! and be apart of whatever is happening in jp right now !!!#uggghghghghghhg i hate it here !!! need this man back NOW #rareprism art #fgo #fate grand order #dr roman #romani archaman

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david-talks-sw · 9 months

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I'm reading through the book Star Wars on Trial and it's interesting. I completely disagree with almost everything I've read in it so far, but at least it's well-argued and written light-heartedly, it doesn't take itself that seriously.

The book is framed as a court hearing in which the prosecutor and defense attorney - both hilariously pompous and petty - debate their points and hear from witnesses. David Brin speaks for the prosecution, and Matthew Stover (author of the Revenge of the Sith novelization) speaks for the defense...

... and the thing is, I find myself disagreeing with both of them.

Example: Brin doesn't like or get the Jedi's rule of non-attachment, sees it as cutting off any and all relationships or emotions.

"In order to be a skilled and good and worthy warrior, you must cut yourself off from the very attachments that make a decent coworker, lover, spouse, parent and citizen. [...] One can understand demanding that a young adept avoid undue distraction while focusing hard on his training. But to cut off all thought of loved ones, even when they are suffering? Where is the "wisdom" in that?"

But when you look at his whole argument, at least it's clear that his real issue is with the narrative itself, he's disagreeing with (what he thinks is) Lucas' message regarding attachments.

What really surprises me, however, is Stover's response:

"One can hardly hold the Saga accountable for teaching that the "skilled and worthy warrior must cut off all attachments, etc." because this is explicitly defined in the Saga as the primary error of the Prequel-Era Jedi. With apologies to Opposing Counsel, he simply missed the boat here. That's all there is to it. Not only is that "cutting off all attachment" business defined as exactly what drives Anakin Skywalker to become Darth Vader, but it's precisely the error that Yoda is determined to correct by allowing Luke and Leia to be raised by real families."

His argument is "you misunderstood the narrative, the 'no attachment' rule is intentionally framed as bad."

I mean... no? It's not.

And, like... you know this @Matthew Stover. I know for a fact that you get what the whole "no attachments" deal is about and what the intended narrative is (not just because you spent an afternoon talking to George Lucas), because I've seen you explain it:

What he says in the above video perfectly aligns with the many comments Lucas made on the subject of attachment.

So what's with the 180° in Star Wars on Trial?

And, btw, that's how the whole book goes, so far.

First, the prosecution will nitpick by ignoring or misinterpreting the intended narrative, and point out something they don't like about the Prequels, eg: the Jedi as retroactively reframed by the Prequels, heartless, detached and callous.

The defense (who should know the narrative) will counter with "you're missing the point, it's supposed to be perceived badly because:

the Prequels are actually this subversive commentary about how the good guys are actually not that good,

Anakin was destined to wipe the Jedi out and the Sith to bring Balance to the Force

the Jedi's rules are dogmatic and Luke triumphs because he rejects them."

Instead of defending the message of the movies and standing up for it, he clearly implicitly agrees with the prosecution's argument and thus reframes the message by stating that the films actually agree with what the prosecution is saying.

Again, the arguments are interesting and well-researched in some cases, and I get that the whole book is playful in tone (the judge is a friggin' droid for crying out loud 😆) but I feel like if you're gonna defend your client, defend the damn client, right?

#best analogy I can come up with is:#supposing that instead of defending a movie Stover was defending a man who shot and killed Hitler #the prosecution is saying ‘killing is bad!’ and the defense is arguing ‘my client knows and he’s sorry’#‘he did it to save lives’#when he SHOULD be saying ‘it may have been illegal but there’s no fucking way that killing Hitler is bad’#dunno if this makes sense #the Prequels are indie movies made by an experimental filmmaker… you can like or dislike them #you can call them unconventional #but calling them ‘bad’ doesn’t apply because they don’t adhere to the general audience’s standards of quality in the first place #they’re not meant to be blockbusters they’re myths reintroduced to an audience of 8-12 year olds #attachment #revenge of the sith #matthew stover #star wars #anakin skywaker #jedi order

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