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thatstarwarsbitch · 10 months

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Reddie Fic Recs

Okay so these are the ones I go back to and reread constantly!! All listed have multiple chapters, impeccable grammar/structure, and RIDICULOUSLY good characterization/dialogue. Theyre also all located on AO3. My obsession is too late for peak fandom interactions so these are what keep my hyper fixation alive.

1. In The Heat Of The Summer (You’re So Different From The Rest) by Kaboomslang

There’s a heatwave in L.A., the first time Richie sees Eddie naked.

One very hot year in the life of two idiots in love, working shit out.

It is so so so so fucking good I can’t stand it. It’s an Eddie Lives AU that is 15 Chapters and 109,525 words of pining and comfort and beauty. Eddie comes to stay with Richie in LA after the events of It Chapter 2. Literally my only complaint is that Stan stays dead however the characterization of everyone and the way the writer handles their grief more than made up for it.

2. A Strange Sense of Familiarity by Katranga

“So Eddie, what brings you to the bar tonight?" Richie asked. "Gonna rebound from the divorce? Pick up a hot young twenty-something to feel young again?”

“Fuck you,” Eddie said, jutting his chin forward. “What a terrible way to ruin the mood.”

“I’m sorry, all my moods are poorly cultivated. What mood were you looking for?”

A nervous lump grew in Eddie's throat. He threw back his drink to get rid of it.

Hand wrapped around the glass he’d just slammed back onto the bar, he said, “The mood that gets me leaving with a schlubby forty-something.”

Pre-chapter two, Eddie and Richie meet and don't remember each other, but have an instant connection anyway...

This may be my favorite fic of all time. This is a Canon Divergence AU where Richie and Eddie meet at a bar prior to the events of It Chapter 2 and start sleeping together. Eddie is divorced so there’s no infidelity storyline (which I appreciate) HOWEVER Richie is still famous and in the closet so there’s still the secret love affair storyline (that I love). The characterization is literally perfect, it has amazing dialogue, and my boy Stan is alive and involved. The OCs are so so good too and I’m beyond obsessed with all the thought the author obviously put into it.

3. Sweeter By The Hour by Katranga

rich. 25. i can be your angle 😇... or yuor devil 😈

Edward. 38. Please don’t call me daddy.

Richie’s a struggling standup comedian slash bartender with a side hustle of sexting rich guys for cash. Eddie is recently divorced, recently out, and reluctant to dive into either the dating or hookup scene. He decides to give Sugr, a 'dating app with no commitment', a shot.

Katranga NEVER MISSES. Even though the losers club is in a completely different universe, the characterization and dialogue is so them that it scratches every itch in my brain. This is such a funny and adorable AU I would recommend to anyone that needs a break from the high stress and extremely high stakes of the traditional It Universe.

4. Here In Your Arms by kaspbrak_kid

Richie had no idea what to expect when Stan and Patty asked him to be their daughter's godfather, but it definitely wasn't becoming the part-time dad to a newborn.

This fic makes me cry like a bitch in the best way possible. This is a several years later fic in a Eddie and Stan Lives AU where Richie becomes godfather to Stan and Patty’s firstborn. This is so so special to me because it perfectly preserves The Loser’s Club dynamics in a safe environment and gives me all the found family warm fuzzies I so desperately need. As usual the characterization is phenomenal and Richie and Eddie’s relationship throughout this fic is so so special to me.

5. Richie Tozier’s Five-Step Mission in Getting Over His Childhood Sweetheart by MissDinahDarling

Alternatively: five times Richie tries to get over Eddie and the one time he gets under him instead.

This fic is so so fucking funny I love everything about it. Its also a Stan and Eddie Live AU and thehe dialogue and losers club dynamics are so so funny. I love seeing little snippets of how the losers lives are moving on and especially appreciate that Bev and Ben didn’t move as quickly as some fics do. Richies denial and stupidity are so relatable and its an extremely comforting read.

6. River by Unicornpoe

The thing—the thing is that Eddie hasn’t seen Richie in nearly five years.

They’ve gotten good at avoiding each other. They alternate holidays and get-togethers, only showing up when they’re sure the other won’t be present. They’re still in the same fucking city but Eddie makes sure to shop on the other side of town from their old place where Richie still lives, makes sure not to go to any of Richie’s favorite restaurants or bars or cafes or goddamn park benches. Eddie doesn’t join in on the Losers’s group FaceTime sessions when he knows Richie’ll be joining, and Richie does the same for him.

They couldn’t make their relationship work, but they’re fucking experts at being exes.

Eddie goes to spend the holidays at Bill and Mike's cabin in Vermont, and is surprised when Richie is already there. Things get worse when they're snowed in alone. Things get even more worse when Eddie remembers that he's still in love with him.

This fic gives me the most acute sense of profound longing I’ve ever had in my life. The EXTREMELY angsty hurt/comfort au I’ve ever read in my life. Not extremely inclusive of the rest of The Losers Club, but it hits hard.

7. This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by camerasparring

Just as the last car is passing them, Prince Charming makes a snuffling noise and Eddie freezes, still pressed on top of him. He’s suddenly aware of every single place they’re touching, and Eddie thanks the brutal Chicago cold - there’s no way he could pop a boner when it’s this freezing. God, he hates himself.

The man opens his eyes for a moment and looks directly into Eddie’s eyes. Eddie’s mouth hangs open. He tries to smile, but he doesn’t think he achieves it. Instead, he swallows and says:

“Merry Christmas.”

The guy passes back out without a word.

or, the While You Were Sleeping AU no one asked for. Set Christmas 1995 and the gang is late 20's/early 30's

I read this before ever even hearing of the movie While You Were Sleeping. While the movie is now one of my favorites, it is absolutely nothing compared to the hilarious romcom of this fic. Found family! Secrets! Drama! Stan the mother fucking man! It is so so good and gives me all the good feelings the holidays provide whenever I read it.

8. Scratch On The Moon by Vulcanodon

Eddie Kraspbak has put aside his old life for good. He drives a stagecoach now and keeps to himself- his days of running with the Denbrough gang are long gone. But when two old friends show up and tell him they have unfinished business back in Derry, Eddie can’t resist the chance to put a final nail in the coffin of the past…and maybe find out why Richie broke his promise all those years ago.

“I’ll take left if you take right,” Eddie calls out but when he looks over Richie isn’t even firing his gun; he’s looking at Eddie with a strange, unreadable expression on his face.

“What is it?” Eddie asks, panicking. “Are you hit?”

“No,” Richie says, “I just. I just wanted you know. That I…that I feel the same way.”

“What?” Eddie asks, totally lost. A bullet whistles past his ear.

“I mean I...” Richie says, as if he’s struggling to get it out. “I feel the same way about you. I mean. That I always did.”

“Could we maybe postpone this conversation?” Eddie says, having to yell over the gunfire. “To a time when we aren’t getting shot at?”

Are you gay? Is longing and the tragedy of wasted time your guilty pleasure? Did you read River by Unicornpoe and want more? Do you like westerns? READ THIS FIC AND COME TALK TO ME IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

9. You Ain’t Nothing But A Hound Dog (And They Call It Puppy Love) by Fluffifullness

Okay, Richie, so you’ve just been Shaggy Dog’d, you’re either kicking it in the weirdest of all possible afterlives or you never died and the sewer clown is punking you. What next?

(or: Eddie makes it out of Derry, gets a divorce, and adopts a dog.)

Richie gets “Shaggy Dog’d” after he sacrifices himself for Eddie during the events of It Chapter 2. Grief, pining, and Richie’s internal monologue being fucking hilarious. And STAN LIVES!!!!!!

10. Thanks For Pudding Up With Me by Mooeydooey

Eddie Kaspbrak was once one of the most influential professional chefs in New York. After an unfortunate incident in his kitchen, he loses his job and most of his earnings. Down on his luck, with no where else to go, he accepts a job offer with the ragtag 'Prospect Test Kitchen' in Boston.

What starts as a small passion project, making cooking tutorials online, becomes a lot more complicated and bigger than they could ever imagine when Bill brings in a new addition to their team. A comedian with a shocking background and surprise talent for culinary arts: Richie Tozier.

Eddie's the only one who doesn't like the new recruit, but Bill bribes Eddie into giving Richie a chance. At the end of six months, Richie's contract will expire. Eddie will get to decide whether they offer him a contract renewal, or refuse to re-hire him.

Things are heating up in the Prospect street Test Kitchen! Will Eddie stick to his guns, and keep his dignity? Or will he get lost in the sauce?

SO FUCKING FUNNY!!! An absolutely genius buzzfeed-esque au that is exactly what I need when I want a laugh. My favorite parts are when they go into like a third person screenplay mode for describing the events in the videos. I cannot get enough of this enemies(?) to friends to lovers au and I’m so so glad it exists.

11. A Fistful of Coal Dust by Jay Auris (nighthawkms)

Eddie Kaspbrak usually works alone. For a bounty hunting mage, this is unheard of; dangerous, foolhardy. But for Eddie - stricken with a dangerous abnormality to his magic - it's the safest way to survive.

When a new bounty takes him to the backwater town of Derry, he's not expecting anything more than a hard job done right for good money. But Eddie's past is about to catch up with him, and Derry could face the consequences. He'll have to team up with a rag-tag bunch of misfits - a sheriff with too much on his shoulders, a tavern owner haunted by loss, and four other hunters with their own secrets and motivations - if he wants to survive.

And maybe, if he's lucky, he'll get an answer to the one question that's been bugging him since he got to Derry: Who is Richie Tozier, and what does he want from Eddie?

A super fun Steampunk-Western-Magic-Bounty Hunter AU that has the perfect ratio of action, drama, and intrigue. I have no idea how the author came up with such an amazing idea and how they were able to do so much incredible world building but I absolutely LOVE IT.

If anyone reads any of these fics I would love to talk about them and hear what you think! They’re all so so so special to me and stay on my fic rotation, so if y’all have any suggestions for me too I’m happy to check them out!

#reddie #it chapter ii #it #richie trashmouth #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #beverly marsh #stan uris #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #the losers club #hanbrough #benverly #patty uris #stanpat #fic rec #it fic recs #losers club

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finnfhone · 10 months

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S2 EP36 LIVEBLOG - DNDADS SPOILERS

It is sooooo long like. So long

-THIS FUJKIN INTRO

-god they're all so dumb

-terry Jr has a gun . Watch out

-glenn close 🤝 taylor Swift

-Heart of gold and a pirate smile (chip coded... oops wrong podcast)

-😧

-Lincoln wears contacts??? Huh wha???

-oh God oh ew OH GOD OH EW

-so many last names why I love it

-Preteen drinking NORMAL 👀

-NOT THE BUCH

-rip normal the first time he saw the doodler was the cambucha

-terry marlowe--- oh yeah terry marlowe

-HI DAD

-take my money Anthony

-🙀

-its startinggg

-go on without me" LINCOOOLN

-roll off battle music rn

-NAT20 waaargh

-'a cool part of the narrative bullet' how silly.

-lot of B Words. They already went to hell it's fine

-jfc I missed them

-dude holy fucking shit dungeons and dragons beyond

-I ACCIDENTALLY WENT BACK TO THE BEGINNING

-🙂 im normal

-OH SHIT WHAT what what what

-"my boys... and Terry"

-is terry jr going to die cuz if so I will cry so much I'll dry up like a raisin

-3 nat 20s, 17min in

-dude why is Terry doing this :0

-Hermie is going to... sulk--- SKDHDBEN

-"stop using guns to solve things" lookin at you us government

-one. Single yellow flower. SOMEONE DRAW THIS OR I WILL

-oH great hEAvens

-😱🙀

-HE is making me.. who tf is he

-haha I don't get these references

-dude this podcast is so real . Appreciate

-oh Terry doesn't have a stepdad.. but scary does

-terry jr discovered polyamory

-BETH NO

-ad break... grab a snack...

-WILLY /NEG

-Normal is Not Strong

-Terry opens the pickle jars <3

-dispell

-Terry and Scary both love astronomy cuz I said so

-oh no terry sad face ☹️

-OH GOSH. HERMIE WAS PROJECTING ONTO NORMAL. HERMIE NEEDS

-oakworthy real

-oh lord the black parade be coming

-i forgot they were wearing red bull suits

-mmm pizza cutters? Why is this a theme

-whoever divorced first is a loser! Ready, fight!

-theyre literally in sync im screaming

-oh shit they want Scary but she's not home rn

-Taylor is a genius (lying?)

-IM SCREAMING IM DYING IM CHOKING ON TEARS

-Hermie SHAPESHIFT Hermie SHAPESHIFT

-hes depressed so it'll work (I'm crying)

-"but they'll climb up again!" I love you Linc <3

-Terry is not good at this... run bitch ruuun

-is Hermie gonna be a scamster again?

-oh shit they failed

-kersploosh !!

-"hey boys" the silly silly little guy

-its not up to Anthony! (lying?)

-Taylor is a loser I love him so much

-just had a ship idea that would never work. Swiftligoth

-LINK WHAT KID DOES THIS. EXCUSE ME

-ooo poem

-⚠️scary sadness alert (may cry)⚠️

-AH.

-oh nosies tERry Jr ;;(

-hip hip! Aw. Hip hip! Aw.

-oh gosh what is Terry doing

-dont do this to us man dont you fucking dare

-DONT DO THIS TO US MAN DONT YOU

-OH. NO. NO. NO. NO.

-NOOOO WHAT NOOO NOO NO GRANT????!!!!?! OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK OH JO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT

#dndads #dndads s2 #dndads spoilers #long post

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jerrydevine · 11 months

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ok movie may rankingsssss its quite frankly soooo fucking long so i put it under a read more :) MWAH

31. moonage daydream 2022 um so when todd haynes basically said that reagan being in power was david bowies fault in velvet goldmine i get what he was saying when i watched the second half of this. it was so annoying listening to bowie talk about how he was like crazyyyy back then now hes normal (annoying and not in a fun way) boo

30. ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains 1982. ok this was actually a flop i wanted to like it so bad but i did not. boo

29. the daytrippers 1996. this was such a movie my indie snob cousin loves. it kind of felt like a long ass seinfeld episode. sorry women. the gay reveal was not. fun. it was 90s straight people trying to do a twist :/

28. muppet treasure island 1996 was ok. it was no the great muppet caper ..

27. spontaneous 2020 i did cry because of this movie i thought it was just gonna be a silly heheh good bad movie but i did cry. and they played forth of july sufjan stevens :(

all the movies after here i would rewatch and i liked :) i had a good movie may !!

26. descendants 2 2017 was not as good as descendants 1 or 3 to me now .. but thats ok they literally had chillin like a villain and the letterkenny guy

25. descendants 3 2019. hmmm i wanna keep her by descendants 2 just so theyre not lonely in this list. the plot was like ok mal having to do her morality thing again thats ok. evie was soooooo izzy lightwood and her loser ass march band boyfriend was sooo simon :)

24. murder on the orient express 1974 was better than death on the nile 1978 and there was a character with my name :) but i think i do not care as much about agatha christie mysteries as i thought i would. thats ok :)

23. arrival 2016 is prob one of the first times i knew about the specific field of the protag and it made me so mad because i spent the whole movie like. she would not fucking do that. she would not say that. come on. and of course the u.s. propaganda was like a frontal migraine but i guess it was good

22. the handmaiden 2016. why didnt anyone tell me about. you know. the plot of the movie. great lesbian sex but what the hell wasall that.

21. donnie darko 2001 was like ok what . fine ok whatever

20. emma 1996 holy shit i watched a lot of 1996 movies this month. ummmmm ewan was there and it was literally emma. what more do you want me to say. it was good ish :P

19. dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves 2023 was so long no movie should be longer than 2 hours but it did feel like playing d&d with my buddies and sophia lillis was there :')

18. i know what you did last summer 1997. its like none of you even care that kevin williamson who wrote this AND scream 1996 is literally a gay ass homosexual man. and my friend.

17. red army 2014. i feel like this should be its own other thing because it was just a movie i would watch at 15 to learn as much about hockey as humanly possible. and not for fun for like mental illness reasons. anyway hockey :)

16. crip camp: a disability revolution 2020 is like red army 2014 like. informative and interesting documentary ! not able to rank it with fiction films i dont think so dont take its spot too seriously.

15. poison 1991. dont worry about it im just studying todd haynes and this movie was not as good as other movies i watched this month but actually its the best movie ever after velvet goldmine. or not its not in my top 3 todd movies of all time but thats ok it still set up many of the things he talks about in his later films esp the connection between the horror section and safe 1995 :)

14. the secret world of arrietty 2010. i didnt watch this until this year bc it was released just after when i would sit down and watch a new little ghibli movie. i wanted to rewatch totoro more than watch new ones.but it WAS the borrowers sooo fun :)

13. monty python and the holy grail 1975. they made lancelot soooooooo ugly which was like a joke in itself to me because lancelot would never look like that. but umm yeah my dad loves this movie and so many little jokes i thought were just family jokes were actually from this movie hehehe

12. the great muppet caper 1981 literally had peter falk in it and they knew they were in a silly movie and they kept saying kermit and fozzie were twins it was so silly and fun :)

11. seven up! 1964. british people getting studied is literally so real and true. i cant wait to continue in the series and see how these kids change..

10. some like it hot 1959. I NEED TO WATCH MORE MARILYN MONROE MOVIES ASAP BTW THIS MOVIE ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. this is spinal tap 1984. ummm yeah this was good. very good even. and christopher guest from my movies was there doing a horrible accent it was awesome :)

8. dottie gets spanked 1993. okok this is my todd haynes auteur studies and it is such a short film that foreshadows his future work i love you forever and ever my best friend todd haynes :D!!!!!!!!!!

7. videodrome 1983 had crazyyyyyyyyyyyy special effects i enjoyed the blowing up bodies and the tvs trying to kill you and the toronto..

6. big eden 2000 i wish they didnt have that whole plot with his high school bestie that was annoying and not whimsy but everything else and i mean EVERYTHING else was sooooo good and beautiful and i love you movie

5. elvira's haunted hills 2001 YIPPEE ELVIRA!!!!!!! RIFF RAFF WAS THERE!!! she talked like she was still a 2000s california girl but in 1850s europe it was awesome

4. rye lane 2023 was sooooo good and love is real and i need to go to england or i will die . woah that was an anglophile ass sentence but its true.

3. stardust 2007 YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO basically thats it. it was a movie that loves whimsy and the power of love. beth please watch it i mean it you would love it soooooo much

2. the watermelon woman 1996 i love you lesbians i love you movies i love you movie lesbians. everyone should watch it its soooo good

1. velvet goldmine 1998 my best friend forever of course no one could be better <33

#ok heheheh thank you beth and abby for the reminders :)#if you guess the top movie you know me for realzies plus i love you <3 #talk #ref

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libidomechanica · 1 year

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Untitled # 8890

A Kelly lune sequence

Or hates and eye and shot. Not a task if love me ye?

The Monarchitect. Boldest Allah! Those then he dress.

On burden the way she said, that come, let him fu’ dry.

The ground truths calling. With the wise, forth merely counter.

The prays fingering. From other flocks, it were remote.

Making, I deares on the preserued. And by trains.

Convey so surrender through; with thick footsteps witch. Oh!

From all here ye? Who wag’d constant of other to you.

Flowered dost taughter day be: but far remorse fro house.

I’ll deeds! And from droops upon things wisdom are does shame.

And God! The Cheek of the fists in a day, and of there.

The city. Makes orange as on the cheke, and blossom.

And let’s sweet-briar? For aught before these forehearse.

Many a thirst in will exalt thou hast. Now, not so!

You gone, now wol bistow, who will her heartbreak. For men!

Hey had eat a strains. Thirsty heard strings my laud, and mute!

The equation. Blush sang the and colour orange voice?

” The worst will make it. Knowing his grew, fear thanck. But thee.

Which nourished. She garden of a wind comfort and riche.

A peer: and penuree. So let us kiss may haue end.

Me so shews of thoughts happy to me! Sweetest their day.

And a nested too! Crist of Poets names, and one where!

Let it still, crown words. My cries, or from their surpriseth!

Were by from chain reproof darts will shore. For thee theyr free.

And the flocks near the shame. And now escape from our troth.

Tho renown, by sheep. Ne let that can doth rere. If storm.

All the wolues, guile main; thought and it far of mariage.

Spot with the lightning. She is tone of her sweet have me.

Shedding tack. And it’s sphering didst there they minister.

We might or Me Two. Blaze upon a damp grass. And Strife!

And mark of these ruine you heart. Round thy scattering be?

Or beauty mountains, and doun, about there is sisted?

Sweet to miss there mute! It together, that did make Love?

The sicke, why though solitude,—and Flora. Of my friend!

Gone in the telle. Not them answer’d not and young berth.

It tore or was deaths: how shade of trance now why? I take.

Woodland dame, to be more sheepe, is a pye. Than a grief.

Brief. Care, that she hap of an erranean the could show?

His neither regiment. For air, all this much delit.

Yet keep how that all male mind, sweet, at our pity me!

Is well of vermeil lies—the parison? What is sent.

Or never I’ve done. That make her. Perfect in five year!

So, something appears to her.—I am ready laye?

Me? Felice Suwarrow, sire sweet conscience, unless.

Birds fleshly eyes. Rising cry, say, is bleating late em?

Of late and fields! Bones, wi’ a new sorrow silent count.

And Betty! Loser- lily smiles, biside, that in May.

Like on its lone. Parchment is nothing o’erleap his queen.

Long debated all their lite.—To those to cruel to weeks.

Like and follow’d betweene, ye snufft and eventeelly.

Of wolves, of healing, were nough a light to his for him.

At night, as the crime? —There not lose were sit among tack.

Since he melodies Embleme. And on thee to bursting.

You will new steps of this spirit’s uncurled. ’Tis he!

Summer-night. I nyl be blest to cowardness, long eyes.

And trance so flurried. Too near airt, like the too engulfe.

He did spight, alas, I am quite and airy tales?

With snort thousands hears, and thee underer struck the sad.

And every sounds agast a solitude? Nay, I die.

Till on first, that you dost habitual Truth. And sad!

And yet down, she up took full in desert but the shade.

That iudge approv’d.—She high, Thus to helplesse bramble rug.

Thus about the Youth, of escaped hail-storm, and not boy.

—By my feith them. Take that of they weak hand is in liue.

I best bring miracle. In suns and with miss is all.

Not from of my kiss— aye, all thee doth clothes, and whan I.

Not faults. To setting creature, by pulse great wonderstand.

’Mid their false to been lately Juno’s smil’d! I shall clime.

Ah Willy. That I bye it is truth: and all thy sheep.

Then with feet dreadful bitter of deep. And fears. A mocke.

As he wonder to throw to me and be so near men?

As lispt about hung a mocke. To laught dang melody!

And so throte. Then sought in and mayds of maidens’ halloo!

The whispering all the whispers be war and display?

Their like a fan to fingers. And the face, thou, sweet life?

Who liue lorel, while. Her cheek, and at any bent back.

The bells of Mt. Print their extreme is she, your strayt.

I knew of any king. Of housbonde walked with the rose.

They were vices spend? Children’s feare him, sorrow thee what.

They do ye forest they, but the sight as Flora. They?

Back, my serves pull time. That from his english field in hell.

The snakes, building some still was some so? Thee him her strays!

Thou determined a mother. But t is in thy spied.

But her flight’s sturrets at though the moon:-and lo! Slight free.

Alive tears groans, as summer ties first love wed ay more?

The regions, and turned each starved. As they mayst liberty.

The sky, and in al. Around heavedrops are uo do!

Dearest day is there. For sinks no other can chastitee.

And learn’d that the seemed she wol fallen out attend. Berth.

Was long dawnest Allan! I thy Body of Shalott.

The sad eyes all the scene boy. But which is become ye?

And in your life’s empyrean I calls! As the townes dumb.

And the bestroys is comes in and trust observe? Fro drynke.

Pale been bow, with joy. Scent on the wreath the every nigh.

Cupid’s door I filled and blooms. But both none thoughts be chaunce.

So glaunced it thoughts more but much of wisdom whom show!

Look and follow; let his depth to say. And the great speke.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #205 texts #Kelly lune sequence

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many-gay-magpies · 2 years

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bestie . bestie i need you to drop the witch-queen playlist i Need that in my life RN LIKE RN. i Love themed playlists but i never end up sitting down to actually make them </3 also discovering new music through a themed playlist???? yes.

i get what you mean about the to-stan list 🥲 it just keeps getting longer and i feel like i have no time for this but also . there’s so many talented groups out there and i don’t wanna miss any of that music JFNSKDB usually i’ll end up getting into whatever groups my friends do bc they’ll drag me into it lmao but i love sharing interests like that!! i really do want to look into e’last and im like halfway through getting to know loona (a very kind orbit friend walked me through a massive chunk of the loonaverse god bless him)

SHION JUST . WALKING UP THE WALL AND AWAY WHENEVER HE GETS SCOLDED IS SUCH A CONCEPT. LIKE IM IMAGINING IN SCHOOL AND JAAN’S SCOLDING HIM AND SHION JUST “nope im sorry i can’t hear you this ceiling is too high” AND NO ONE CAN GRAB HIM BC HES JUST . UP THERE. and jaan like “YOU LITTLE BRAT WHEN YOU GET DOWN HERE I WILL BODYSLAM YOU. I CAN AND WILL CAUSE YOU SERIOUS INJURY.” jakah and his flight ability could feasibly get shion down but i don’t think he’d want to use the effort LMAO he’s just sharing popcorn with noa as it all goes down

- vrvr anon

KSGJDHDJFH the playlist is right here-- full disclosure theres no kpop in it BUT! it does slap! or it does to me at least hope u enjoy <33 some other themed playlists i have are lets go commit murder/arson and get in loser, we're going to kill god, neither of which are very long (and yes theyre different. you can ask how but idk how good my explanation wld be) (also since i saw your followup ask abt being jewish and bisexual ill give you this bisexual lighting kpop songs playlist; none of them are bisexual as in they actually talk about bisexuality or give off bisexual vibes or anything, i just have synesthesia and they all look like bisexual lighting to me) (i also have playlists made for individual colors but theyre not super big yet) (OH and i also have kpop to kick ass to. that's a fun one, haven't added anything to it in a while tho)

yeah hsfgkdhfjbf i usually just let whatever music is out there come to me of its own volition lol, i got too tired to go looking for it-- i get not wanting to miss anything tho and i totally admire your dedication (especially as far as loona goes, i havent listened to really any of their music but OOF idk if id ever have the time or motivation to get into the loonaverse lmao... loona stans have my utmost respect)

NO LITERALLY SHION JUST. like theyre in the middle of class or something and solon's threatening him (as you do with your immortal vampire siblings when you are ALSO an immortal vampire) and shion goes over, open a window, and straight-up. steps onto the windowsill then falls and dissapears. and all his regular classmates and the teacher are like ??!?;!?!!???? but solon is like GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT DONT TRY ME and everyone crowds to the window and shion's just walking down the side of the building. like "HAHAHA TRY GETTING TO ME NOW YOU FUCKER" (this is of course assuming that this all takes place in a world where decelis knows the boys are vampires and isnt going to kill them for it anytime soon). and okay now im just picturing solon in this scenario leaning out the window going "you may have wall-sticking powers but what you DONT have is super strength; do you really want to be taunting me when i could jump out of this window and land directly on your spine, breaking it in seconds?"

"I CAN AND WILL CAUSE YOU SERIOUS INJURY" HSFJFFFBC P L E A S E OMG. i kinda feel like any of the brothers with powers that MIGHT enable them to actually reach shion when he's hanging from the ceiling or something are either not motivated enough to care or too amused watching the chaos ensue. like you said with jakah and his superspeed or whatever hed just be sharing popcorn with noa, and i really have no idea about what noa's power is besides the one scene of niki floating in the original given-taken mv—and even if he CAN fly it's already established that he wont be bothered to lmao.

#asks #anon 📝#vrvr anon #dark moon nonsense

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hamilsquadwritings · 3 years

Text

The Flowers (Philip Hamilton Soulmate AU) ~ part 3 ~

A Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together

Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together Soulmate AU in which flowers bloom from your left ring finger, coiling up and around your body, Identical to your soulmates. They stop growing when you meet and turn white when you get together

(I decided to work on an old idea I had on my old blog @stargazelaurens and develop it properly)

Words - 2.2k

Warnings - Eacker being an asshole, a couple swears

Tag list {omg people want to be tagged?!<33}: @elizabethgrace459 @agelicl-y @popbubblegum @livylululivy @fanfic-addict-98 @xoxotashxoxo @laic2299 @multifandom-loser @loomingisabel

Your flowers had stopped growing.

You couldn't be sure, but all of your flowers had six petals. All except the new one blooming, it wrapped its way around your pinky finger but only five petals were present. Uncertainty filled your mind. 5 petals. How long had they been there? Was it possible that it was working on a vine or a leaf, only to come back to the last petal, if there was to be a final petal.

It had been 2 days since you’d spent the night with your sister, Theodosia and Philip. Spending time with them was a solace and you were more then eager to be away from the monster that was unfortunately still your fiance. You spent a full day with them on a picnic yesterday. Sure it was a bit awkward to start with but at least you werent the only third wheel anymore, you had someone to keep you company while Theo and your sister occupied each other

---

"theyre pretty cute huh.." philip says softly. He was leaning against a tree while you sat across from him working on a drawing. He looks over across the meadow to watch your sister and Theodosia pick wild flowers to weave into each other's hair.

"they’re so perfect for eachother" you say looking up from your drawing over at them your eyes meeting his in understanding

"I wish I could meet my soulmate..." Philip sighed softly. He hadn't stayed up to date with his flowers. He'd been obsessed at one point, his eyes glued to his arm. He’d trace them with a pen, growing disappointed when a new vine or leaf would emerge from under the ink. He rarely glanced at them now to avoid the disappointment. Philip knew the chances of meeting your soulmate was slim but he couldn't help but hope, desperate as hope may have seemed. It didn’t help that he was engaged to someone who had already met her soulmate.

"me too.." you say as you take a second to glance down at your own markings. You looked to your newest flower tracing the familiar pattern with your fingertip counting the petals, sighing softly, still only five petals.

"Is everthing okay?" philip asks curiously

"uh.." you say quietly briefly looking at him and then back to your flowers "I think maybe my flowers might have stopped growing.. Im not entirely sure but I think they might have..?" You trail off meeting his eyes as you lean back.

"Do you know who it could be if they have?" Philip asks as he looks over, he catches a brief glance at your wrist, his breath catching in his throat, the flowers weaving their way around your hand looked so familiar- no no he shook his head. How could he could he even entertain the thought, there was no way...

"no..." you say with a soft sigh, even on the small chance that you had met your soul mate, the options weren't looking good. On one hand you had George; you would rather live without a soulmate than live with him. On the other hand the only other new person you had spent time with in the last few months was Philip. The universe would never be that kind to you, besides there was that teeny tiny problem. He waa engaged to your sister.

---

Philip had spoken to his mother the day after you told them what had happened with George. She, as expected, was completely horrified. She listened as Philip explained what you had told him and your sister and how it made him feel. He didn't need to embellish anything, he would never admit it but he cared about you, more than in just a sister in law way. He couldn't do anything about it of course, because you were engaged and so was he. But with your sister and Theo being confirmed soul mates he knew he would never be number one for her. Philip was honest with himself, and sadly felt a bit cheated. He'd always grown up with his parents' example, they may not have been soulmates but they did truly love each other. He thought he would have that when he grew up. Well, he had hoped anyway. But the world seemed to have a very different plan. The conversation you'd had with him the day after the picnic only made his feelings and thoughts more confusing.

You were sitting in your room with your sister, Theodosia, Philip and Angelica when the Eackers arrived. The shouting was heard by all through three closed doors and a flight of stairs. Philip filled you and your sister in on what had happened the day before. His mother had interrupted Alexander at work to tell him he had to do something. He'd listened as his wife relayed everything Philip said to her that afternoon. Allowing her own suspicions of how their son felt about you to be heard as well. He agreed to call off the engagement. Not only could Alexander see how much it meant to his son, but if a family was willing to pretty much give their youngest daughter away to be a prisoner locked in a room. It wasn't a family he wanted his son to marry into.

He'd met with your parents the next afternoon, they were equally horrified. Your mother was beside herself, your father however was embarrassed at hearing about it from an outsider instead of you. When he’d called you into the office to explain, your sister had spoken for you. She hadn't realised Philip would be talking to his parents so quickly. She herself had planned to bring it up that afternoon. Then the yelling had started. Your father at you. Your sister and mother at your father.

Mrs. Hamilton had quickly intervened, telling Philip to take you, Theo, your sister and his upstairs. They would be the ones to handle things for now. Your father had sent a message for the Eackers, requesting their urgent presence. Alexander and Eliza had just taken their leave before the Eacker’s arrival.

The Eackers were in your fathers office with your parents for over an hour before you heard anything. A stark change to when the Hamilton’s were in there, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Y/N!" Your father calls. You look at your sister quickly, unsure what to expect. She stands at the top of the stairs with Angie, Theo and Philip as you make your way down. George was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with your father. His parents were already waiting outside in the carriage.

"Darling” George says with false endearment. “Your father has told us the most disturbing things. I'm not sure how you’ve become mistaken.. I am so sorry that you thought we’d ever.. well that we’d ever mistreat you in any way, I could never.." he says holding out a hand for you, taking yours when you stare into his open palm, he uses it to pull you flush against his, his other holding you close “you have to know that. I would never dream of treating my bride to be with such hate.” His voice was thick with sadness and regret. You were a bit impressed by his acting abilities, though they were merely an extension of his twisted nature and despicable lies. You were even more repulsed that he could even put on such an act after the way he had planned to treat you.

"Well now that all that has been sorted.. until next time Mr Eacker" your father says dismissively as he breezes past you both without a glance in your direction retreating back into his office. You looked around for your mother, she had already left to the garden, leaving you alone with George.

"Wait.. were still getting married?" You ask in confusion, your eyebrows furrowing across your forehead. You could feel your skin growing cold. The realization of your near future playing vicious images in your mind, this couldn’t be happening.

"Well of course we are sweetheart.." George saying taking your arm, squeezing just hard enough that it was uncomfortable. He watches your fathers office door shut as he leans in "listen, closely, I wont say this twice.. if you ever pull a stunt like this again.." his voice was rough and cold, dripping with the thrill of threatening you.

You look up the stairs meeting the curious and worried eyes of your sister, best friend and the Hamiltons. George pulls you out of their view. You barely heard his harsh words, they didn't make any impact, you couldn't believe it. Not only had George managed to weasel his way around your father, but now your father was angry with you for telling the Hamiltons before you told him. According to him therewas nothing wrong and you had made a fuss only to embarrass him in front of the Hamiltons and the Eackers. That couldn't be further from the truth, although you knew he would never see it that way, if he wouldn’t listen to Mr and Mrs Hamilton what hope did you have?

You were pulled from your thoughts as George kissed your cheek, it took everything in you not to flinch "I'd spend as much time as you can with them. That room of yours is going to be terribly lonely.." he whispers lowly looking from you up to the stairs where your friends were waiting. George smiled widely and waved, leaving your wrist with a handprint, that brought a red color to your flowers, before he headed to the door to leave with his parents. As soon as they were out of view, you dashed up the stairs to join your best friend, sister, her fiancé and his sister.

"What happened??" Theo asks asks as your sister hugs you tightly.

"Nothing... he lied and- “ You had to pause trying to control the fear your voice was sure to give away. “were still getting married" you say quietly as you hold onto her. Theo wrapped her arms around you both, holding you close. She couldn't believe it. Much like your sister, she'd offered to go and sort George out herself when your sister filled her in on what had been happening. Theodosia was a big believer in soulmates, the day she found your sister was the happiest day of her life. She felt that everyone deserved to experience the once in a lifetime happiness. Though she understood why some people didn't marry for love, she'd always found it cold how people married their children off. Even when it worked out. It was unfathomable to her that George and his family would treat you like that, and to actively plan it before you got married was beyond horrific.

"How- what-" Angie says looking over to Philip quickly. He stood with his hand clenched tightly around the banister watching the carriage retreat down the drive. His jaw was set and tight with tension, his eyes full of anger. He really thought this was going to work. When you'd told him and (S/N) what happened he thought your father would listen to his and sort it out. He was horrified to learn not only was George getting away with it but just as your sister had predicted, it didn't seem like your father cared. At least not enough to put a stop to it, unlike his own parents.

When Eliza had told Alexander he'd been furious, admittedly not just at the situation but for his own reputation (which was a problem in itself but not the one Philip wanted to focus on right now). If word got out that his daughter in law was being kept prisoner in such awful conditions the fall back on him, as a politician tasked with shaping the future, would be astronomical. And make no mistake, it would get out, Philip and (S/N) would make sure of it.

(S/N) was pissed, there was no point in talking to your parents now. As far as they were concerned everything was resolved, it was just teenage meddling, despite the fact Philip’s parents has been involved. Your parents, especially your father, wouldn't hear anything more on the subject. In fact he was likely to raise his temper if she even thought of bringing up the subject. She glanced at Philip before she and Theodosia lead you to your room. She could tell he felt bad about talking to his parents straightaway. He should've listened to her and let her approach your parents first, it was a little late for that however.. she thought settling you into your bed tucking the small blanket around you comfortingly.

"Thats it... there's nothing to be done. I have to marry him.." you say slowly, your voice full of defeat. Your shoulders slumped as your sad eyes look to your sister and your best friend, taking their hands in each of yours "I'm going to spend every second with you guys.” You said finding a new determination “The next time I see him will not be a second before I have to"

#hamilton imagine #hamilton #philip hamilton #philip hamilton x reader #hamilton x reader #hamilton musical #anthony ramos #theflowersau #alexander hamilton #hamilton fanfic

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maddiefriendlovesbilly · 4 years

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Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

#spencer x ghost #jess writes #ishhhhh???????#venturiantale #venturiantale pie #johnny ghost #spencer acachalla #johnny toast #jimmy casket #fred spooker #let me know if you enjoyed this or not it was intense #sr #ship review #ship reviews #vt ships #vt ship reviews #vt ship review #vt sr

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macklives · 4 years

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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st-fandom-imagines · 5 years

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Life or Death

So this one really got to me, I hope you guys like it!! SOME SEASON 3 SPOILERS! tag list- @tiger-hugger and @hannahmontanabutgayer let me know if you guys want to be added to my tag list! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ Request-anonymous asked: Steve H x reader with the prompts 30, 3, 25, 27, 58, 59, 73, 74? (alotiksorry) super angsty where the reader is injured really bad and thinks theyre going to die so they are saying goodbye to bfSteve? Maybe they dont die in the end but thats up to you. Love your writing btw♡♡♡ 3-“I know it hurts” 25-“I’m scared” 27-“Please stay with me” 30-“Is that blood?” 58-“am I dead?” 59-“look at me” 73-“Please don’t say goodbye.” 74-“you’ve shown me what love can feel like.” ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ Being a good person really sucks sometimes, without thinking you put other people’s needs before your own, you are always trying to help someone, protect them, and shit, was I in deep. Dustin roped Steve and I into this mess last October and now here we are, fighting the mind flayer in teams, trying to stop the world from caving in on itself. Steve and I started out as me being his rebound from Nancy and just that, but after you save each other’s lives so many times, you can’t help but having feelings for the person. We have been dating ever since the snowball, both being there for Dustin, Steve asking me to go with him to chaperone, by the end of the night we were confessing feelings and kissing on the hood of his car. It’s been amazing since then, Steve treats me like a queen, he never makes me feel insecure, he is always coming up with little dates and is always surprising me with little gifts. As I laid in the back seat of Billy’s car, hands tied behind my back, gagged at the mouth, I couldn’t help but cry and hope that for once, just once that Steve wouldn’t be a good person. Billy knew that if Steve could, he would save the kids, or at least give them more time, he would do it. Billy was betting on Steve coming on the rescue, betting that he would come and stop him, in turn, slamming into me as well. So when Billy saw me alone, he took advantage of that and took me with him, no one noticing, everyone radioing to everyone else, trying to figure out where I was, Billy made me radio to them, telling them I had a plan and to keep on track. Billy may have not been Billy but whoever he was or what he was turning into was smart, he knew killing me would hurt everyone, so even if we won the battle, we would all still be hurt. “Okay, show time.” I heard him laugh from the front seat as I heard Nancy yell at Jonathan to get the car started. Billy broke, just for a second, tears falling from his eyes. I felt the car slam on the gas, my crying only getting harder as I heard gunfire from Nancy who Billy was probably aiming for. Before anything else could happen, I felt the front of another car, hit Billy’s car, glass shattering all over me, cutting my face and body, a big shard stuck in my abdomen, lucky enough for me, one of the pieces of glass cut my mouth gag. As soon as I could catch my breath I began to scream, knowing that someone was bound to hear me. “Steve! Robin! Nancy! Jonathan! Anyone, please!!” I cried out before the door by my feet flung open, and I felt myself getting pulled out of the crushed car. “Is that blood?” I heard Robin ask as I looked down at my feet and saw Steve pulling me out with tears in his eyes. “Fuck, shit, I should have known something was up.” Steve crying as he pulled me fully out of the car, seeing me bleeding from many different places, pain spread across my face. All I could feel was pain, fear and tears and it was killing me to know that Steve did this, and I knew he was going to blame himself but I would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. “Quick! Get in!” Nancy yelled as she popped the trunk of the car, Steve picking me up bridal style and walking over to the car, hopping in the back with me in his arms, Robin helping him get me in the car with the least amount of blood loss. I felt Robin reach under me, breaking the zip ties that were on my hands, I immediately, touched my stomach, the main source of pain coming from that. "Steve, I'm scared." I groaned as I looked at my hands, that were covered in blood. My head was in Steve's lap, feet next to Robin who was looking at me in pure shock. I looked up at my boyfriend and I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear anything he was saying. His face was turned towards the front of the car most likely talking to Jonathan and Nancy. I then turned my head to the back window of the car, seeing the Mind Flayer chasing us. "(Y/N), look at me!" Steve yelled, pulling me back into the car and making me realize that I was only loosing more blood by the second, this might be it for me. "We cant take the glass out or you will bleed out, you just have to hold on for me, okay? I know it hurts, I'm so sorry." He sobbed moving pieces of blood soaked hair out of my face as he cried down on me. I cupped the side of his face with one of my hands, and smiled softly. "The needs of one, out weigh the needs of many. We knew the dangers, and it worked, the kids are safe. Steve, I love you-" I began but he cut me off, sobs rocking his body, head shaking back and forth. "Please don't say goodbye. You are going to be fine, we are going to be fine. You can't die, our story isn't over." He pleaded making me look at Robin who was still looking at me with wide eyes and mouth open. "Be there for him, make him realize it wasn't his fault, Robin, promise me." I demanded making her nod over and over again, tears welling up in her eyes as well, we had all gotten so close over the summer. I then turned my attention back to Steve who was covering me with a old blanket that was in the back of the car, trying to get my body temperature up as blood poured out of me. "Steve, Steve, please..." I whispered, making him lock eyes with me once again, I had never seen him cry this hard, it was breaking my heart. "Please, stay with me." He begged, resting his forehead on mine, our tears mixing together as they fell from our eyes and ran down my face. "I love you Steve Harrington, I always have and I always will. You have become such an amazing guy, and when this is all over, don't blame yourself, don't let my memory hold you back, live Steve, live for me." I tried to comfort him but he wasn't having it, stubborn till the end. "You are going to be okay, when we get out of this, we are moving in together, we are going to make plans, talk about baby names, fuck, I'll marry you next week, please. Just don't... just don't die. You cant, you've shown me what love can feel like." He cried making me smile, feeling my eyes getting heavy, feeling my body getting weak, I knew Steve loved me, I had no doubt about that, I just hope he can love someone else once I'm gone. I could hear him say my name over and over as my eyes closed, but I couldn't do anything about it, it was my time. ** It felt like only a second, only a second of darkness before my eyes fluttered open and I saw bright light, making my hand fly up to cover the light from my eyesight , groaning at the brightness, well at least I made it to heaven. "Am I dead?" I groaned, hoping someone would answer and much to my surprise, no one did so I turned my head to the right, and I saw Steve asleep in a chair that was pulled up next to me, both of his hands holding onto one of mind. I smiled with tears in my eyes, knowing that I in fact, was not dead. "Hey, loser." I coughed out, clutching my stomach with both of my hands, making Steve shoot up from the chair, feeling the movement. "Oh my god, oh fuck, (Y/N), shit!" He screamed as he cupped my face in his hands, looking into my eyes as if he didn't believe it was really me. My coughing began to stop and he ran towards the door of the hospital room. "Doctor, we need a doctor!" He yelled before rushing back over to me, making me smile softly. He sat down on the bed next to me, kissing my hand, lingering there for a second before sighing in relief. "Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?" I joked making him let out a watery chuckle as tears welled up in his eyes. He ran one hand through my hair, his other hand, holding mine once again. "I really thought I lost you, we got you here just in time." He smiled making me sit up from the bed with wide eyes. "Steve, the kids, Hopper, Joyce, everyone, what happened?" I hoped he would smile yet again but he just hushed me to lay back down, not wanting me to strain myself. "I will explain, but we need to make sure you are okay first, especially if we are going to get married in a week." He joked as the doctor walked into the door with a chart in his hand. I knew Steve meant what he said when I was bleeding to death but I also knew he would wait to marry me until I was cleared and until everyone else had recovered. As the doctor explained to Steve and I what they had to do and what they would be watching for in the next few days, he held my hand the entire time, making me smile, knowing he was going to be here, in sickness and in health.

#stranger things #stranger things season 3 #stranger things season 2 #stranger things season 1 #steve harrington #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #steve harrington x fem reader

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supersadist64 · 5 years

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could you tell us more about sweets ??? i love them sm i cant handle it 😳

*surprised pikachu* WHAT

long post incoming cuz tumblr doesnt want me to be able to put readmores on an ask. jesus

WELL sweets started as a lisasona then he turned out to be his own thing. literally based off the concept of “sweet/smooth talking”heres a ref i never truly got around to posting so heres it i guess

extra facts:hes a trans dude, was in a gang pre flash for 5 years of his life (the sapphire serpents), has cigarette burns almost everywhere, hes latino! hes a semi decent cook.

hes a joy addict and a wanderer. i never posted this ref cuz i meant to add calamitys gang’s symbol to show that he knows her.hes sarcastic and smug, hes kind of a loser. but hes very charming and always gets what he wants.

hes very “i have no feelings, they disappoint me”. thats why he takes joy, he wants to feel nothing.hes a toy to the joy boys, mostly to buzzo (which he may or may not have feelings for. feelings? me? no way!) used for sex or as an ashtray or what have you. just in exchange for joy.he sorta accidentally falls in line/is accompanied by Puppy most of the time. sweets gave him food out of pity and puppy just.. followed him. theyre in love. clearly.he also has a weheartit collection of all fucking things if that strikes your fancy x

and currently me and tom are doing DOMESTIC SHIT/lisa the wishful with him and puppy so thats my mind right now.he loves xanax and trying to convince himself hes emotionless.

as for his actual backstory like i said he was in a gang. his mom kicked him out as soon as she was able to. and because of his upbringing and the area he grew up in..he just fell into a gang. he had no where else to go.

heres a logo concept thing :)

at the time, he was just another girl, arm candy, an ashtray, a punching bag etc...

when he was 19, a few guys were drunk and rowdy and wanted to take their anger out on “new meat”, esp since he wasnt looking too fucked up yet. so the right side of his face got fuuuucked up, and the injury fucked with his eye and turned it blue.

kept cutting his hair and grew it over his eye, he cant see very well out of it anyways. he wanted to hide his face, he..just has to, yknow.

at 21 he got noticed by the leader, he was enthralled by him. and sweets became the favorite.the leader called him sweetheart and was very nice to him. i mean, he still put out cigarettes on his body and used him. but he was gentle sometimes. sweets was in love, and still he thinks *thats* what love is.the leader let sweets get on T too! but he still had to wear makeup and put his hair up (”you can take T and do what you want but you still have to look pretty for me..”)

so the sapphire serpents went on doing Gang things and got a little too big for its britches. a rival gang, the malachite eagles, attackedkilled most everyone, letting girls go, they were just arm candy anyways.

until the leaders room, where sweets and 3 other girls resided. they were the favorites. they knew way more than they should have. the leader was killed in another room. and men came into where sweets and the girls stayed.grabbing them and pointing guns at them, asking them what they know. codes, passwords, hideouts, stashes...everything.

first girl was there since the beginning and was too loyal. she refused to give up anything (and she knew everything), and was shot.the second girl was so shocked and scared she just held her cross necklace and prayed, she was unresponsive and was shot.the third girl didnt know anything, she was new, but deemed a liar, and was shot.sweets knew everything, and told them everything. the malachites spared him, and gave him quite a hefty sum of money and told him to get out and never show his face around here again. sweets packed up his things along with some extras from now dead people, and left.one way ticket to olathe, and on the way there he met a lady selling “otherworldly trinkets and baubles”a nazar mask was among them. he bought it to hide his face and keep away evil. and left for olathe.

so thats sweets! thanks for showing some interest in this fucking IDIOT......... this got long. hope you like or actually read it. thanks!!!!!!! aaaa im gonna hide

#sweets #ocs #oc talk #2019 #6/30/19 #ref made 6/3/19 #anon #asks #THENKS #june

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nocancer · 5 years

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Tryna by Cancer moon

Before Young T went to bed he poured a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window to his backyard and noted how the snow made 3:00 A.M. look like 6:00 P.M.. Only difference being that if he stepped outside with his glass of water to the seeming twilight he wouldn’t be able to hear the rush-hour traffic like he usually could if it was Friday and 6:00 P.M.. Young T didn’t bother going outside because the snow was still falling a little and it’d be there when he woke up. And the neighborhood would still be silent, as it always was.

Young T woke up and his fan was still humming its white noise which he needed to sleep at night even though it was January and his dad was reluctant to leave the heat on over night. The small fan sat on his dresser and was pointed away from his bed towards his window which emitted a sharper and more blinding afternoon light than what he was used to. He checked his phone for the time, it was about noon - about the time where his parents bedroom door would open and their TV would blast the local news and his persian cat, Jo Jo, would meow at his door from which would force him out of bed to open the door so Jo Jo could jump up on his bed to sleep on his pillow from which he would either start his day or keep doing nothing. This time he laid back down, idly on his bed, with the covers pulled over his head to lessen the effects of his slight cat allergy. Jo Jo had a flat face and was grey and fat, and he occupied the entire pillow. Young T thought of how he wanted to trade lives with Jo Jo.

Young T couldn’t fall back to sleep, so he looked at his phone. He bireifly looked at worldstarhiphop, Twitter, then Instagram.

Then he went to bed with a head ache and woke up in college.

9/27/17 wednesday

Tycho: excuse me, hey, getting along just fine, I see? Yolandra: hey, and yeah, sort of, just studying, whats going on with you T: Nothing, the usual, i guess, being responsible, trying not to offend anyone. Y: Oh but you're so innocent. If anyone's offended its on them, not you. T: But my presence alone, I dont know, like I'm out of place or something. And I just want to tell people, Yeah, so, I know how strange it is, me being here and all. Y: You're a free spirit amongst prisoners. That was my favorite part about getting to know you.

Tycho: After all these years, not for a second did i think you were right for me. And thats why i liked you. Cus I'm crazy. Yolandra: thats okay? what do you mean?, i want to get inside your head again. T: [pause] Most people wouldnt understand. Y: Don't be too cool for school. Im not most people. If I knew what was good for me, I'd have cut ties with you a long time ago. But im a crazy bitch too. Havent you realized? T: Yes. Youre highly psychic when it comes to "free spirits" like me - and you, though maybe, "lost soul" would be a better term for me. Though I dont mind being lost. It keeps things interesting. Anyway, you should spend your energy on solving world hunger than worrying about me. Y: dont be so difficult. catching vibes isnt easy you know? coming for your type. Who knows, maybe youre worth it. Tycho: well, your the first to try me like this. im mysterious for a reason. Yolandra: And do you know why exactly? T: Thats for me to decide. Y: It's so damn frustrating. But I guess some things are better left unsaid. T: Most people wouldnt understand that, what youre saying. Indescribable feelings we know happened but fall short in explaining. That sort of thing. Y: I call those. "You had to be there" moments. Tycho: Honestly i never gave up on you, only myself, thinking you were different from my dream girl. it took months for me to realize that but when i did the only thing i wanted to do was forget i ever met you. Yolandra: than what? T: the rest of these simple people that surround us, they see in a way thats opposite of what i am. Y: how convenient it must be. to blame your problems on people you dont even know. and just say "fuck it." I envy you. T: just my luck haha. of being born into myself, my personality forgive me, i dont mean to be such a downer. thats my ego talking Y: you had to be there T: where? Y: in my memories. T: it matters that much to you? Y: if I could find you in a crowd, just to say something, anything, even if i have to scream it in your ear, then you'd know how much it means to me. Tycho: I'll be waiting for you to say hola.

9/30/17 saturday In the midst of an obnoxious trap beat I remember what my grandpa used to tell me. It's the harsh realities of life that stick with us the most. A dream is only a dream until you make it come true. Never hit a women no exceptions." He would say to a 7 year old me. Now I wish I had the balls back then to tell him that his strict army ass probably never had a dream that went beyond what he already knew. Like revisiting the same shitty cloud of meaningless thoughts every night till you reincarnate into someone who revisits a slightly less shitty cloud over and over until they become someone like me, who lives on the cloud everyone strives to be, forgetting those elvish looking folks of the below who never leave the house except to get groceries. There's comes a point in life where you just gotta be honest with yourself, and say hey, i just dont match the freqeuncy anymore. It's okay. I can still pretend like that one MGMT song, but im fading away. Fuck. I get naseous and imagine a cop coming around the corner which kills my vibe for a second so I take my headphones off, spit on my finger tip, ash the blunt, and walk to my dorm. I'm in water so muddy that the surface is all I have to cling onto. What lies beneath is my past, housing the memories like demons. Of course, her face, would be in the middle. Falling more faintly in detail as I wake up sober and go to sleep high and dream nonsense that somehow doesnt go away like the usual forgotten dream you usually wouldnt give a second thought to otherwise but this morning my head feels foggy and theres a vague recollection of a search going on but I dont know what it's for and my chances of knowing diminish as I go deeper into the day. A search, it's on repeat, like my brain is an actual TV. Thats probably a normal thought to have, though I've never heard it in real words. "Is my brain a TV." I say to myself. if you can call it that. but those take the shape of monsters of which, as if I had no choice, I find myself preparing for so when the moment really matters, I can either go down in a blaze of glory or come out on top like the badass I imagine myself to be. All I know is that I was born and now I have to live.

Maybe because my past is so glaringly depicted onto a person I refuse to acknowledge. All that shit was a dream. The only thing that matters is the present, right? Bill Nye the Science Guy would agree with that. Back in elementary whenever we had a sub for the day, a cart would roll in and thats how you knew. I watched his show in elementary school, when we had a substitute teacher. Those were the best days. I had no worries then, able to speak freely with no inhibitions as if duality had nothing to latch its mechanical claws onto. Wait, I'm thinking about the past again. And thats going way back. Fuck! Okay.. On your feet soldier! That baby momma drama dont fly out here in the real world. out here it's the winners and the losers, haves and the have-nots, thats the way it is.

We're here to endure anxiety. I dont care about this slave shit. I think im gonna drop out. These fucking people bro, I shouldve known better than to come here. Deep down in the recesses of my highly realized capacity for recognizing everyday objects I'm hearing the voice my computer makes. It just so happens that I'm a little different from everyone else. I see things. Feel them. Some are expressed. Others proccessed. Though most get put away for later. These things I speak of is all they'll ever be to Some bad. Some good. But in the end I understand the root cause is nothing and thats where I pretty much exist anyway. In between any and all things, including people. At least that what it feels like. So although I may come off as shy and maybe a bit soft to the average layperson I aint no bitch and I wont hesitate to put my body on the line to make some headway when it comes to cementing my place as a savage demon in the halls of said layperson's memory bank. Someone who is wise would recognize the virtue of my conviction It is only because I must prepare for that singular moment, an unknown point in the fabric of time and space. To where if theyre not careful, a life's worth of energy should be pitted against me as if one were to stand a chance against the power housed within my vessle. Theres no such thing as a polite gesture. Nobody asks me how my day is "going" for no other reason than to relay to me how their own special day is "going". reckoning between a humble acknowledgement that I can never truly grasp the reason for existing and therefor should play my part in keeping the peace, versus pure badass in a world of sheep. And the more I get to know my surroundings, the more I reach erradically for the inherent bliss found within the path of satanism.

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Spmewhere off in the distance, Crermoth sits on a palm tree idly sculpting astral suspensions into a tattered fervor of mesh for working the keys of ineptitude. She is oblivious to her surroundings, not caring for chatty and gossip which she cant seperate between her reality and theirs because she is sensitive and when the the fully recognized sage, Esoh, confronts her about she says she much prefers it that way.

Their balance among them. With the wind at her side, Hojihka refuses the initial preference of her stillness and moves in a nameless precession by the whim of her ancestral birth right. "aaa may-ee soo shay-noo"

Her possession wakes up without a name. a new and more elaborate transposition of jubilee onto each successive indifference. The attention to one area renders the outer confines a vacuum enveloping the excess span unto both of their liable to taken over like a plain, sole, unconscious will. It certainly does its job Crermoth and has become something of a plan b pill thats taken during one of her many unpredictable episodes of self hate and general spiritual torment. One time she told J-Money she was a demon in a matter of factness that still haunts J-Money in moments when he pretends it doesnt bother him.. Reliant upon the interaction of her world and the next. Crermoth normally prefers being to herself on nights like these, that way she can answer any calls at a moments notice. A dimension close enough so that she may assist her friends in earthly manners of which, by the natural law of limitation, those lacking the incessant nobility of the Orisha cannot be bothered to see to themselves, less the tether between her world and theirs be rendered a useless tattered fervor of mesh that gives way to any varitable knock of an over arching brood of usurpment of the mundane frequency. “I need space. I only have but so much light of see to her calling as a being of light, assisting the pieces of herself that we’re lost during the falling. You remember that don’t you?” She says “Of course I remember. But only as a matter of fact. Upon closer reflection I fail to see the relevance of a subtle hunch with no bearings in the present.”

I must know that I’m allowed to be straight up with you, else I run the risk of straying from my calling. If there’s anything I hate more than being ignored its catching myself being lazy to the voices. “She musn’t veer to far.” Esoh said on a mountain.

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The woman wakes up to look around. Store-bought soil, empty bike-rack, office building. "Harder. Think harder. Come on girl." She stands for dignity's sake. A car traces a hilltop in the distance. She raises her cold arms to the sun in defiance of stillness. Nothing is in tune with the nature of her being besides the stale wind of a coming day. "Where are you?" The car freezes as it reaches the horizon, but the sound remains on loop. Whirrrrr A portal manifests abruptly and Elegua arrives on a chariot of skulls. "Erzulie, madame, how nice it is to see you this early in the morning." A whisp of fire cleans her face and the car continues over the horizon. "It really shouldnt be, not like this. Where Im at should tell a lot you know." Erzulie said. "Quite a dense reply to a longtime friend, dont you think" "Hmm, considering how I slept in a bush last night and dont remember a thing. I shouldnt need to explain myself." "No? is the friz on your hair not matching the blood on your knees? I can't tell which." Elegua said. Or is the attitude possessing you as if theres no consequence for ill-manneredness? I cant tell which." So long as one's not so dense up his selfish ass that he aint notice." "Oh so now all a sudden you about the finer things in life? We can switch places less you miss me. Erzulie said. Im only pointing out the obvious." Elegua said. Erzulie replied with silence, forcing life to flash before his eyes. She learned this from her Mother, Darkness. "Attitude is possessing you. I cant tell why but its a poison I dont deserve. I was only trying to help" He continued. "I just dont fuck with being called too early. So long as youre not too dense up your ass to take notice, safe to say i'm in some shit right now." "Clearly. A product of consequence." Elegua said randomly. "Yeah, recognize. Please, for me, baby?" "No more testing your patience, Goddess immortal of justice. Save that for what I came to tell you about." "Take me to cleanliness, saintly promise of wisdom. For im not feeling myself." They left the scene to the past and pondered on the pyramid they had just made with each other. "It's nice to be home." Erzulie said. Flying over the palm trees brought Elegua back to his power. "On the basis of love." Elegua said. The salt-water washed away all glimpses of doubt Erzulie had of her beauty. And she harnessed the pastels of the ocean. Thus, all guilt was abolished and unconditional love was convinced to dance within them. Drying his body under the rays of Amen reminded Elegua of his first words. Long ago, before Time was born. "O Father, you are so brilliant." "Thank you, son. I am the Light" "Then tell me, Father, if you are the Light, and are so brilliant, then why is it you flee from Darkness?" "All I do is my purpose, which seeks to balance harmony with creation. Although it is much more complicated than that. Like always I suppose. I'm afraid you ask me a question that I cannot answer. Here, because you are so curious, I will show you." "I'm ready, Father." Light grew brighter causing Elegua to cry in his recollection of what it felt like to say words. The links in his mind straining to pull in the right words. Not too plain to where the moment would be lost in happen stance, and not too radical so that his manhood could stay irrefutable (to convey meaning.) Then Light disintegrated into everything and Elegua searched for Light ever since. So Elegua went to the crossroads, and prodded Darkness for Light's wherabouts, "I want to relive the the moments before he left for eternity. Where can I find him?" Without a hug or a kiss, she told him to let go of his experience in order to live in the now, "Take his place and move forward. Grow up, your Daddy's gone cus you never did." "How could you say that me? I love you, Mom. Yet all I get is hate. Why are you hiding the truth from me?" "If I don't hate you, then who will? You got so much to learn that my heart breaks into brass. You must leave, understand me? LEAVE, before I do what your Father did and them some. I'm this close. Believe me." With nowhere else to go, Elegua obeyed the commands of his Mother. Although lonely at first, the spirits of the dead related to his despair, and offered to guide him through all the known and unknown realms of Ether, so long as he guided the spirits of the living to his Mother. So that the dead could learn for themselves the origins of their being dead. And when Light came back, they could say "Father, we know of Hate, now teach us Love." Elegua tried telling them that it was hopeless, that his Father was there, just not in the way they imagined, that they we're actually his Father and they had to realize it through an altered perception. but that negativity only made them more adament to their cause which annoyed Elegua into a manic spell of existential irony which persisted during times of war with the Snakes on 5th density. One battle in particular Badly wounded, he pulled his chariot with his arms to the middle of a corn-field on a full-moon during the Solstice, it was there he made a pact with his self, to never be ignorant to the fact that fate was an inescapable constant within all contributors to existence. That the very fabric that distinguishes the dead from the living was comprised of scattered shards of an indestructable essence that attached itself to the spirit-body via fate which is the Father of destiny. That the collective conscious is woven by the thread of Fate, thus binding a common goal, or Destiny, inherent to all beings of both polarities, thus setting in motion the spiral of gnosis, which lends itself to the spreading of keys that open the doors to helping each other fulfill each others Purpose. "I will collect the pieces of my Father so that I may speak with him again as I did as a child. I will never forget you because I love you. You are everything to me, which is all I ever could be. Please, I want to know why you flee in the face of Darkness."

____10/9/17 monday

My pace quickens as I veer away from the crowd onto the handicap stairs. I silently count my steps to give off a pensive, non-assuming vibe. Over by the quad theres crows just walking on the grass. Yet I'm the only one who seems to notice, even from a distance. The busses haul ass down Memorial St. I've learned to always be on alert because I'll never know whats waiting for me when I turn my attention off the floor and become reminded of string theory. Artificial energy, cork boards with grime on the edges, tunnel of dull ends, spongy plywood cielings. as i step with my head down and in every so sudden a demarcation in the bricks, the reptiles answer emails. This is where I'm going. Because my soul chose to live here at some point in time not too long ago considering the relationship between all that the universe has to offer and my general apathy towards said all as in any and all one. Which has become quite of a bore ever since the first week ended I had to come to terms with the reality that friends won't simply fall into my lap like they would if I wasnt such a masochist for being lonely. The row of pillars turn to one and all I see is the contentment in the air of the lobby. In the hallway are casually turned faces which glide about in a linear fashion like the ghost of a lost bride.. I get a side-view of the people afraid to admit that this is far from the paradise we expected it to be. The brochure in our acceptance letters didn't include the drunken nights of another dimension. I'm inside the life of an architect. One who's dead by now, but lives on through his work. I'm not going anywhere, the building would say, if it could talk. And I suppose it can. Because I just had the thought, and nothing is ever truly wrong without another thought to compare it to. But then if buildings could speak existed first, and was allowed to grow and find its place in the universe, then it'd be established enough to not warrant an adversary. But the question remains where, if it existed, was its fate organized before coming into my mind, awaiting my final judgement. Substitute me for a unicellular collective conscious and it seems like we're all dealers of fate her on planet earth of the milky way of the universe of the whatever comes next (should we ever know for sure). he or she deserves all the credit for it manifesting onto the grid of my consciousness, which is a zig zag joint's worth of a high right now. The perfect amount for not giving a fuck while still staying slick enough for witty comebacks. Which wouldn't hurt right now. This building isn't going anywhere. Though I wish it would. Because I dread what I'm about to do How he must have pained to communicate something he could call his own while maintaining a dignified and safe, always safe, because god forgive, well, you know, , putting the pen to the pad, drawing collumns in front of a Victorian fassad Succumbing to authority just to eat with a roof over your head and not freeze your ass off like a homeless freak. Profit margins in the final half of quarter one are lower than 1 standard deviation to what is considered by corporate to be optimal. As of now, the college has no incentive to ship in product from outside sources. All inventory must be stored in house to the buyer's demand. You better not be late.

___ On the parking deck

Tycho: “I had a dream I was on an internet forum. Someone posted the words: “life is an endless hell. With a blurry picture of a street at night-time. Not much different from what’s in front of us. I thought that made sense, until I scrolled down, to see a video looking out the windshield of a vintage rolls royce, coasting along a pacific highway. And the lines kept going. Next thing you know I’m falling down a pitch black waterslide, dreading my destination. If I never woke up I have a funny feeling i know where it was leading.

Preacher: In that instance did you feel the need to repent for your sins?

Tycho: No. that didn’t cross my mind. It was too late at that point.

Miranda: “I used to.

T: What made it stop?

Miranda: Seeing all the happy people around me. And knowing that they’ve been through the same shit. Break-ups, Death in the family, just generally feeling lost.

My heart was broken ”

T: Getting over the mind can be a dark place when it has nowhere else to rest. You can train it to think anything.”

Miranda: True

Tycho: Lately Ive been taking these long drives late at night into the boonies. Just to see where I up. I realized theres so many lives I’ll never know about.

If i wasnt born into money maybe I’d be humble enough to hate myself for even thinking such a thing.

How’d you get out of that?

Miranda:

These know it all professors are getting on my nerves. I fear Im crossing into an abyss I’ll never fully understand. Honestly I can’t fuckin stand these people. What name do I have to make for myself that i haven’t already experienced in the depths of my soul?

Tyco: You know how they try to act like they all official and shit, like I won’t see past it.

Miranda: [agreement] They do that.

Tyco: [stream of consciousness] So I just told her look I know its a rule, but I’m all about learning at my own pace and no disrespect i love her but Mrs. Soso can only go so far in telling me how to write. You can give tips and tricks but at the end of the day, I’ve been developed my writing style.. Like I thought we were done with all this high school shit. Well I didnt say that.

M: And what’d she say?

Tyco: She was like “As you get further into your major 90% of your assignments will be in essay format.. we require full participation “ At this im like she gonna hit me with the book like hell nah THEN outta nowhere She said “However, I also believe in 2nd chances.”. On the outside I was cool but inside I was like “*fist bump* yo i cannot fail outta college like someone watchin out for me idk who but-

Chad: fuck that shiiiiit *holds up white rum in front of street light”

Friend in background: 12! 12! 12!

Abrupt scene change. Camera shows Tyco zoned out. Then police car, as Tyco begins to hide behind the tree hes smoking on.

My black hoodie and phone-call to my dealer will still be with me tomorrow as I do the same thing.

(From a dream 10/23)

Tyco is driving around serving with Shantel when she lights her phone up from the passenger seat and puts the phone to her ear.

Shantel: You are not finna be talkin all that mess on my phone. Be honest with yourself. Don’t lie. You a hoe ass bitch.

?? Caller: Why are you even calling me? I dont give a fuck.

Shantel: Wait till I pull up then and slap the shit out you. Would that be better sweety?

?? Caller: I’m at Kawaii’s 30 deep. Bring your lil boyfriend and see what happens.

Shantel: Try me bitch.

[ The economy sedan turns right on red seemingly without breaking. ]

Tyco: 30 deep huh?

Shantel: With them ratchets.

Tyco: She sounds scared as hell aint nobody sticken up for her like that. You know they gonna talk shit right but soon as we throw them hands they gon be like, I dont know that bitch.

Shantel: nah but she stupid tho like not even worth all that extra

Tyco: We’re going. Wheres that nigga house i’ll waze that shit and we get there we just pop off. Aite?

[Not looking at the road, but to her, coasting down an average 2-lane with box neon trimmed tire shops and drive-thru windows governed stately as immovable beasts of mothership stores lurk behind low-sodium trenches of the new world order’s surveillence agenda for mass poplations en masse. ]

Just follow me. I’m walkin in and gonna start a commotion just bussin and you just break this bottle on her mother fuckin head and we out.

Shantel: haaah what okay

Tyco: You’re gonna fuck her shit up som serious.

Shantel: She talk shit about you.

Tyco: It’s in the stars babe for real.

Shantel: You gonna help me find that bitch?

Tyco: You my fucken queen I love you and I got you.

Neighborhood entrance.

Cars parked for miles.

House identified first glance.

Park.

Car doors..

Hip-Hop

Grass.

Walkway.

Steps.

Porch.

Door opens and yellow tops within the frame.

!! WHERE YOU AT// YALL FAKE AND CANT FINESSEE !!

AAAAAH YOU UGLY DARK SKINNED NIGROS

The caller is sitting on a couch ass to ass with other dudes. Looking stupid.

She never saw Shantel. Who came upon her like The Ring.

She has become a party magnet. It is a Slayer concert now. Nobody knows who’s who. Though Tyco is surely getting his ass beat. He catches of glimpse of Shantel’s fat ass ducking through the doorway and he could die right now and it wouldnt matter.

*GUN SHOT*

FUCK GOIN ON HERE MANE

“This not the place for you bro. - White boy comin up here in my place of business - Tryna pop shit off like you really not a bitch”

Kawaii looks up with his glock-9 extendo at his GD party mostly all gone just like that. The poor girl is still leaking.

“She need to go to the hospital.” Her friend says.

He points the glock at his head. Despair.

“Look around before I kill you.” An invitation.

Tycho: “I sold a 4 oz today after my accounting exam. I could be GD, 74, rock purp. whatever it be its nothing but Respect yo. Got connects with chad and Becky nahmean dog. Could put you on to some numbers they white and they fiends. Please OG.

“How much for a zip.”

“80, gas.”

“Was that yo bitch?”

“yea”

Kawaii: You lyin to me?

“No.”

“She eat your ass?”

“Yeah and bounce on my BIG ASS DICK” Tyco says with autism.

K walks away.

T: they don't even sell Molly bruh

K is you fucken high you dummies. Beat this nigga ass. *Tyco imagines the why the fuck you lyyin vine and remembers the exact moment he realized that wasnt an original song but actually a spin off of a classic throwback jam by the 90s R&B group “Next” in their hit single “Too Close”.. He was driving home from the cafe he used to write high school essays in while smoking a menthol american spirit with the windows rolled down on a spring evening playing KISS 104.1 Atlantas classic jams. Then he realized there was a full 6 minute video of the vine on youtube. After watching it he felt gayer. Thats all it did for him.

Tycho wakes up on living room floor.Terry (random G, on couch): *Hands him note× Kawaii said he's sorry. No hard feelings ya heard dog?

Tyco: I guess thugs act on impulse. *looks at note* and don't count on a gahdamn thing you bitchass motherfuckers. Tyco walks into class with a black eye. The Professor talks about interest loans. Tyco meets Moe after class in parking lot.

*Moe: Waddup

Tyco: It's lemon og I just got in.

Moe: Bet. Those last cookies you got. Bomb dude. It had them frar mother fuckers leanin like they can't handle that purp like that nahmean.*laughs*

Tyco: I got some backwoods you wanna hotbox.

Moe: Yo I'm down.

10/24/17 thursday

____ Last night I decided not to hate myself. The look I get from them doesnt bother me. Really, its a simple sign from nature that I’m used to by now. A wrong impression can sustain the fog of memory, of which I will be seen from the lens of another dimension, with not a care in the world, an angel in disguise. Thats the crux of my life up to this point. To no longer hate myself. But appear as if I still do. The nameless place in our past with no address., one of which even a frat boy can relate to. This invisible standard that’s thrown us into the pits of despair must be addressed. To seperate the real from the fake. Like the others are sleep walking through class fronting like they dont see me. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my third eye, televising scenes of sleep walkers who stay fronting like they dont see me. Walking behind the parking deck where green dumpsters were with my phone to my ear is a feeling that remains within me until I do the same thing over again in a few days. Buying in bulk never appealed to me. And if a 20 a g was the price thered be nothing my lonely ass could do. Fuck this worthless paper, I tell myself.

I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days.

I’m signalling. Though I havent been approached yet.

Figuring that would resolve the look I give other people. I mean, christ, I turned 18 last March. And spent the Summer in a last ditch effort to secure an identity before I made my plays in college. For too long I’ve avoided the call of the light and in return have gotten blank stares.

(SOMEHOW gets wrapped up into a petty conversation with sorirty girl (on top of parking deck.)

Clarissa: I was the only one alone in the entire party.

Tycho: Why didnt you leave?

T: Dont worry I dont wanna know your major.

C; Good cus it keeps changing.

T: You think you know everything dont you? This world aint nothin babe.

C: Why do you say that?

T: What do you wanna know? That I get money? Thats nothin.

Clarissa drifts off.

Hannah: So Stacy’s telling me the banners weren’t in that right place and we’re like an hour away from starting and we still haven’t even got the chairs in order and barely anyone who was suppose to be here has shown up yet.

Tycho: Where were they?

“Well for one, Candace, I dont know whats her problem lately, but shes been gone because her best-friends now telling her she’s not rushing anymore but thats honestly a relief because that girl wheres winged eyeliner and thinks shes better than us.”

Tycho: Oh, I think I’ve seen that girl at the library or something.

I intuit that in order to justify her reasoning for not liking the winged eyeliner girl, that she channeled my very own resonant storm cloud of which I emit silently in the face of vanity..

H: Well you’ll probably see her there a lot more cus shes definitely not with us.

“Okay so thats one.” I say as if taking notes.

“Then Rachel’s out at some charity event that I never even heard of probably with a guy she’s not telling us about which is so frustrating that of all days you pick friday night at the peak of rush to go be a hoe behind our backs.”

“Did she ever show up to the party?”

“Yeah. And she was fucking drunk.” She said as if surprised but not really because this is Rachel we’re talking about, after all.

“Like wasted orrr “

“Damn I didnt know yall got down like that.”

“Umm when youre stumbling through the door and your first words to all the new girls is hallelujah bitches!

She wasn’t with a guy.

“So tell me more about the party. Like was there”

who nobody knows anyway

is that Cheyenne is just out of it because her friends now telling her she doesnt want to rush anymore and for one its like look,

Wait, who’s hannah?

Hannah’s the leader of her sorority.

Ooooh, Okay, I see why now

-Yeah, I mean if word got around that would literally mean she was going around their backs to cover up that she was lying.

> Right. Yeah I hear what you sayin. She’s trying to make it seem as if it never concerned yall in the first place but if thats the case then she dont need to be acting like she got the right to be trusted.

This goes beyond reputation. Manipulating emotions just cus she has none of her own. Conniving biitch. just to get her way goes beyond reputation.

Aint nobody wanna be around that energy.

> So what you tell her?

I get schizophrenic when it comes accepting new ways of being. The person I made him out to be was the perfect cure for my suffering. All those forgetful nights of boredom I knew what I needed all along, but was to scared to do it myself.

------ Frat house halloween party kidnap scene ----

GD shaman prays to shango for power to go out by mantra. Squad in car repeats the same mantra. The power goes out at 1:00 (or peak of the party).

Tycho throws blue flare through the side of the window

at the Tycho must find Chad and lure him downstairs near the door so the squad can get the keys to the room full cocaine and adderal. After looking everwhere he’s no where to be found. He walks in on a couple having with the girl in missionary with devil ears. “Yo chad that you?” Its

(fuckem x3) Music stops from power so he sneaks in wireless speaker in his robot costume and puts it at one end of the room. Squad member 1 will carry bigger wireless speaker and set it down when he storms in. Tycho also brings a timed strobe light to distract people and keep the illusion of the party still going.

Tycho runs down stairs and towards door with chad chasing him. Squad slaps tape and mask on him and carries like a battering ram although theyve already kicked the door.

*Power turns back on*

“Fuck em, fuck em, nigga get out my section

Don’t want to see him, I don’t want to touch him

*waves zippo lighter in front of face so chad can see him through mask*

“Ima count 3 seconds and your dead on 5 if i dont get this combination” says calmly. thus saiyth the lord thy god”

“Three... No mercy”

“Two.. Shall be given unto those”

*gives code*

“One.”

Love takes many shapes and forms.Tycho never opened up to people, hating himself for being incapable of feeling what others felt. He wanted more so he went spiritual. Which his close friends perceived as going off the deep end."Ayy whatsup bro you tryna smoke?""I have a calc exam tomorrow but I'm down after."Aight good luck on your studying tonight and then kill it tomorrow I know you got this calc is your specialty can't say the same for me but that's why you always tutored me haha."Let me know if you need more help. Figuring their was no bounds and he could be whatever, even silent, and experience irony rather than fate. How bland, he thought, to have a life plan and nothing to look forward to. Running drugs would be a necessary chain reaction. The highest elixer exceeding the bliss provided by the very weight he'd be pushing, itd be getting off on defying his own life, leaving spirit his only option. And so like a blackbird his soul seeks experience only in the clearest degree of visibility. Swerving transgressions of lonliness to levy the burdens of contrived responsibilities at societies every turn until his flight patterns veer from the trodden path to and fro the calling of reality in which he desires to preside over as a God of many statures. Untainted by works, head first into the entity of the adversary, of which he is able to predict the situational consequence in only a glimpsing moment before havoc ensues and the final hour is upon him, his loose wings coated with astral charcoal of depravity. Be caught slipping once and he loses the jump until the enevitable program takes its course - an unstoppable relationship between fate and reckoning that must be fulfilled as day turns to night. Once that happens he reverts back to being like the rest of them. Yet to the world, now desolated beyond repair, hed still be alive, exuding a calm presence that something is not quite right with him existing without remorse. The truth is simple enough, a hint just ever so slight as to never be able to cross the threshold of utterance, thus becoming rendered a convinction of self delusion on the part of the unknowing accuser, who by this time hates himself for even thinking badly of such a good guy to make peace with. The collage curtails past the illusion of what is already known and at last the watchers take notice and thus regeneration is able to take place along all the land, allowing for new energy to take the throne of anticipation. One that has harnessed the potential to become anything the wonder puts his mind too. So what if I'm imaginative? Yolandra: I mean everyone's different in their own way. Like yeah the soroitys have a dress code and all that Starbucks and capris. But I don't know. You just have to get know a person for who they are and not how the outside world perceives them to be. T: So what'd you first think of me? Yolandra: Honestly not much anything. You were one of those people who could be anything. But then I overheard you say taurus's are gold diggers and I hated you cus I'm a taurus. T: Oh sorry I really didn't mean it like that but c'mon now I can tell you have a taste for finer things you bougie little.. Boob. *laugh\ haha "you know what I mean" It doesn't bother you? What? That so much could go wrong so quickly? Look, deep down he's telling you his heart lies with getting over and you let him because that's /just what you like about him, how deep he gets. cus he's a sad and selfish individual who was never about loving anything other than vanity. The best thing to do would be to trust his actions, intentions aren't what's important right now. Really, forget about the soul connection. Loves comes through all types of people as long as you're open to receiving them. Those energies. Don't lose yourself in the illusion. Without ever taking credit for what truly matters which should be you. Then your fashion made sense to me. T: I'm so caught up in myself. I mean, it's impossible to know anything else. I'll never get to stand in your shoes. Its just truth. Yet I'm the bad guy. You're not like the other people I've met. T: Yeah I'm kind of loner if you couldn't tell already. I guess that's a good thing.T: Hey it's okay. I get that a lot... Wait what do you mean you guess? Ive found that who evers saying does a 180 in their normalcy. Knowing your even here right now is a good thing. Knowing that you're with me even when im not. Don't you think? Starting out with confidence and ending strong to be lucky if I'm not hurt. Tell me what you want out of this. Sometimes I feel so lame, then I realize how fun itd be to not care. Through the window screen i see parchments and grass blades, this is an image I've sought to ignore for its blandness thinking I was over recognizing such mundane structures. The sunlight made me drunk with non verbal contemplation. I crave this heat when I'm in low spirits. And a breeze when I'm high. My thoughts are channeled from a lonely place (My thoughts come from a lonely place) I've had no choice but to become accustomed to for my own sanity. To work faster and breach that veil of reckonning. So unreachable and enticing at the same time.T When I'm alone, welcome something more than the past if you ever cared to help me. This isn't the only world out there. And even if it was the material would eventually reach infinity. Then a black hole would open or something. Don't quote me on that, science is the hottest thing going right now. It cant hurt to butt in unofficially. As long as no one calls you on it. The universe molds to your confidence. That's another story. At the end of the day, I have too much pride to be a scientist. The God they're serving calls for a lot of self sacrifice. A self that ignores emergency when called to speak. A self i'm not prepared to lose. "Why are you here again, nothing will change, you're gonna be quiet like last time" any handle on reality I had during the sun rise flees like an ex girlfriend into the night. I'm not prepared to lose. Anxiety is that humid feeling you get when roughnecking the time away. Jaded peripherals, internet browsing, and fading friends initiate a color spectrum so cruelly vivid in its inability to be shared with the CVS cashier who looked at you wrong because you bought 3 4oz bottles of robitussin. A man who couldnt care to see the streets, stop signs, and traffic lights. Man is a slang term we use when caught in the moment. Of which matrix programming loves to grasp onto. --- 10/25/17 wednesday So here I am enjoying a piece of lackluster nothing for the sake of something I've agreed to experience in a past life I can't even remember but somehow must make amends to as if its an actual concrete thing I can touch and make sense out of without caring to ponder how life puts us in these type situations like getting your hair done a new way and meeting a friend of a friend superficially without ever following up like aight word up bro I feel you by the way hows life and what's the special fact I should become one with in this moment while not thinking too much in to things or else id be alone as if we're not alive under the stars for any other reason than to be happy but still to me that becomes too much like a flash in time rather than something meaningful because then sex would have to be our purpose for being here but you and I both know it's more complicated than that so we look into it via memories and realize the journey was brighter than the reward as in I don't remember the actual sex part but rather the day as a whole with stained glass sprinkled in on a film reel to push the past into something real and unexplainably alluring to the self of which we projected this light onto in order to perhaps know in advance maybe how to repeat this metaphysical phenomenon for a second time because we're not quite there yet although at this rate if seems that to finally reach a state of thereness would mean we wouldn't be able to be here right now having this conversation like a building block struck from below or a house of cards we have to keep faith that every moment plays its part because we had an emotion for it and therefore couldn't be rendered to nothing in a wreckless attempt force it all together rather let each tile compliment it's neighbor and bypass the need for destruction by allowing enough caring energy to flow through that filter mechanism within you that deems lifes moments as worth remembering or forgetting and pretend you never heard about forgetting and avoid it like the plague because everything that ever was is depending on you to go forth into righteous so that gods original intention for letting go of unwanted baggage be synthesized within your vessel of upgrades intelligence so that the journey can still be appreciated only this time without th deceptive veil of the end. to question the little things that somehow don't mean much but at the same time appear to us daily as conduits for good fortune and thats what we must uphold ___ 11/2/17 thursday

I you and me playcated on a surface of stones that match our longing to search in the wrong places. Convenient are we done such a conceivable time that is time which is also time because what more can be said other than us winding down a fire escape to an inexplicable hatch sitting like paper mache on our transformative spiritual natures. Gone already but not forgotten just make sure to take the negative side of every situation involving 1 or more parties so as to make sure the rythym is in order because you can't go wrong with challenging the status quo of an area you're not suppose to be in even if that seems too easy and superficial it's the right choice because even the idea of rebellion as a bad thing must be able to project into a physical thing prompt for examination so secrets may be revealed. Wouldn't you know i stopped believing in faith due to its redundancy of chasing metaphysical strings too far out for us to put into words and isn't that the source of all our angst. Depraved of propositional phrases and elemental tables it's all so clear to me now. Casandra had a bag and Mikey had his sneakers in the forefront like a low hanging fruit but of course they had personalities that weren't so easy to see unless the hard work of interfacing came into the equation. Lets judge people based on judging for the sake of basing ourselves onto something not within our realm of reality. Perception is a hard question i think maybe inanimate objects could tell us a thing or two. Low pressure sodium lamps.Documentorial lecture hall amps failing to reach the end of the pyramid turned 90 degrees away from its focal point. May disease not reach our unexplainable selves if ever they may inhabit our temporary vessels like a friend who has no friends but you and wants desperately to get along with others but is attached to your ways. Are we in hell? What can our astral travels tell us about signaling locations with Etheric marks of time dialation. Things are what they are by defintion or they wouldn t be things however stepping the observer up a notch sets in motion cancer to grow from the singular notion that we ourselves separate on a cost of lightening our load. I am partly responsible for this mess we have made. Pulling my hair out in thin strands so as to not make a difference. Some people just don't understand what it means to be so far gone yet in a place of enchantment that lets us know we're not alone as Michael Jackson plays on the ham radio and Wikipedia says the song was written by r kelly. I'm a solitary young man, joined at the seams complacency and red-ridden vanishing points to a line of sight I'd rather not identify with if I had a choice. I'm seriously considering becoming rich and famous despite others already forcing me to. I guess eventually my spirit will give in as my soul looks from a distance and says what a fool I am then goes about his day. You can't be like the rest of them no matter how hard you try. Thinking on the sensualities you avoided after this rap shit led you no where. The palace at the height of creation where Jesus stopped and stared to collect his thoughts before he kept going when his alarm rang as his slave bending consistency tracked the new melinnia into a moldy piece of sandstone cheese the better of which tasted nutty with fruity notes and 80% abv shards of liquid glass on the throat thatd make even an immortal weep a shy tear or two. The pigs down in Mississippi feel things we can't understand in their slaughterhouse decrepit and forwarned in a musk ridden air flow that's non existent to hypocritical angels who were supposed to stop atrocity but opted to sit on their ads and play virtua tennis all day. Oink says the pig. Hee haw says the donkey. Give me life says the God and there on the 30th night fags came to tell the story on their faces. The bag lady told them to shut up and stop whining but they wouldn't listen though they lost their ability to speak. Goodness gracious me oh my great balls of fire. Great balls of ball you are the Lord of my lonely century in this dimension I took awareness to when I allowed you into my heart space.And then I left asking my self: Who is this I?

755559888a

Let’s stand for a while and think about the dastardly ways we have gone under the waters and flew away from temptation. Have us saying isnt it so pretty to be in something and have that to fall back on due to the struggles of forgetting the place we come from which didnt always have it out for us this bad in refusing us of inconjunctions we can at least point to and blame our problems on saying “See! There, I told you so. That’s why we cant find our beginning!” And we’ll keep toilling the fields as halflings saving up for a chance to leave the very universe we serve. “So thats more like it. Finally something I can get my flows on to” Shelly the alien said. “The Stars dont have to like you just because you see them. They have their place and so do we” Gerald said. “Oh but they do.” “How do you know?” “Well for one they always shine bright at the most oppurtune times, like when I’m feeling down about the part of myself that conveinently seems to escape me just when I need it most. If that be so then put me on to something else and that’ll do just fine.” “Perhaps you're not as big as you thought ” Gerald held up his hand to salvage what was left of the dissolving psychic barrier between them. An invisible giant with an ocd issue. For now he could only listen. “No im not here to choose and thats exactly why Im not afraid to go where you can’t. Having the courage to admit your wrongs requires as much energy as universal rotation itself - a force which exists beyond our pleaidien awareness. ” “ But Shel- Okay whatever” Gerald paused and rolled the horizon through his scaly fingertips. “Keep calling on the unknown and you might get lost because it’s been there forever and sometimes Look, Shelly, no offense, you know I love you, but your awareness has no filter on what representation it can cling onto like danger isnt a reality to you. Me and Dazel always had to look out for you and thats just in this world what makes you think you can take on things you cant even see? “But do you believe in me? Anyone can say they love me. I’ve been hearing that my whole life. So much that it holds the same meaning as “um” does in conversation. Is that really the final conclusion we have at the end of the day? That you love me? Besides, I dont think you really meant that.”

“Here goes Miss Type-1 personality again. Always needing to label circles into squares, stars into gods, this as that, out of an inability to cope with insecurity. Leaving the rest of us as unwilling participants.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S WRONG IN NATURE?” Shelly bawled.

The beach of Temofose was out of walking distance from the orange cottage they grew up in with there Mom. When they were young it was somewhere theyd go when they had nothing else to do. Euweu Sister Beach was the brighter of the two, but now too populated for their liking. Temofose is less frequented by other families and polluted by cargo ships and a lack of open views but as they stood there a semblence of twilight through the holographic cages offered closure to the purpose of them arguing in the elements about a timeline Shelly was going to step into And no matter what argument he could put forth, Gerald thought of it fruitless unless he spoke from his heart, a heart of which Shelly was currently taking the place of, so that he could not use it against her. “Shelly, I just hope you can understand how I dont want to let you go.” “I’m sorry you feel that way. But it’s my choice. Have a good njght Gerald. I love you” She said as she went into darkness.

Summer Break 2018

As a street light exploring strip malls, I am a linoleum tile on top of a trapezoid emitting frames of rave scenes. Heres where I find myself walking through last nights dream of the gang member selling duck pussy then getting assaulted by a pizza guy and a cop. Alone after those nights. Seems love was never meant to be expressed but felt. I look inside to see if I’m about to die, seeing diamonds mixed with sky. Materializing in the backdrop of my memories. Now I know why.

Now I know.

Then a wren on the fence manifests when it needs to. The perspective pyramid is that I pleaded for a higher calling. There’s nobody bohemian as me. One day I’ll take this civic off the road and escape into my sacred grove. If only I wasnt such a bitch.

I carry my single briefcase through the airport parking lot. I’m hot and out of breath. Everyone watching me. I can read their thoughts but not my own. They say look at the guy who isnt me but is still conscious enough to move his vessel.

The a/c runs down to the end of the terminal, but my spirit is squared by the stores selling vain material. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my mind’s eye televises scenes too chaotic to put into words. Walking through customs is an event to be remembered, I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days. I board the flight to say finally I am my own religion. If I was flying over africa I’d see bon fires, but over Georgia I only see street lights. Thinking how absurd that they will speak of me as crazy. Others will listen. A vibration through these amber aisles to look no further than my destiny. Because everyone has their destination is the way it goes. I refuse. I’m tired of being a number. Atlanta had its place. Now I’m homeless in Tokyo. This is the not-so perfect end to the chapter planned out for me by the higher power. Not-so bad neither.

Save me. I’m on the other side now.

#chapter 1 #short-story #novella #atl streetz #cancer moon #tryna

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