#he says he likes to be free but its not true

[olenvasynyt]

In ACOWAR during the meeting with Kier when he asks for his people to be free of the mountain, Feyre says “You have every comfort, and it’s still not enough?”

She had every comfort at Tamlin’s manor, and it still wasn’t enough for her…

#freethecourtofnightmares2024

One thing that really pisses me off about the Court of Nightmares is how SJM writes it so black and white. The entire court, not just Keir, is evil and conniving. There was a part in ACOWAR where he says he is going to let the CoN go to Velaris but he told all of the vendors and business owners to refuse service to not just Keir, but all of the CoN. And this paints the entire court in this black and white lense.

Not a single person in that court is a dreamer like Mor? She was the only fucking one?

I think there can be a little bit of nuance to the situation where a significant portion of the court is just bad because they have been festering in the dark for so long, but guess who's fault is that?? It's the leader's fault, the one who keeps the court up and running, aka the High Lord, aka Rhys.

Rhys says he wants change. That he wants to show the world that he's good. But he continues to keep the Court of Nightmares up and running, he keeps Keir as herald.

"Oh this court is so awful and sadistic," Feyre thinks as she sits on the throne with a crown on her head and with Rhys holding her hand.

And Rhys says "the Court of Nightmares just rules itself" and sure, I guess that's true, but as High Lord, you have the ability to put a stop to that and pull out the bad weeds. But instead, you keep it running to further your agenda and to keep your evil mask on.

Getting mad at Keir for slutshaming your lover and breaking his arm is not enough. Restricting access to Velaris is not enough. Even telling the Court "you guys are bad >:C " is not fucking enough.

Rhys the most powerful High Lord who killed all of the Illyrian war bands who sided with Amarantha after UTM, yet he can't do the same to the CoN?

Rhys and Feyre and the IC label the entire CoN as evil without trying to find the forgotten dreamers, and they continue to keep the court up and running and making the excuse that "it's too hard" despite their power and influence. It means they don't care. Or that Rhys maybe fucking enjoys it.

It also means that SJM (so far) has no idea what she's doing and can't understand the situation she wrote in her own series.

And this brings me to comparing Nesta being locked up, the CoN and its dreamers being locked up, and Feyre being locked up. Is SJM intending this irony and hypocrisy of the IC? I sure hope so because I swear it's the most obvious comparision ever, but it confuses me because a large majority of the ACOTAR fanbase doesn't get it. "Oh well the CoN is evil! They have to keep them contained and Rhys can't do a whole lot as High Lord because the Court rules itself." And the most frustrating argument: "Nesta was addicted to sex and alcohol, she needed to be rehabilitated! It's for her own good!"

They don't see the irony of how the IC treats Nesta because Tamlin also did what he did for Feyre's own good. It was to protect her, keep her safe. Not saying it was 100% good and right, but why are we not understanding that what the IC did to Nesta was not 100% good and right either?

#anti inner circle #anti rhysand #sjm critical #anti ic #anti sjm #please stop treating the IC as if they're saints #pro nesta #pro tamlin

[steddieunderdogfics]

For the Monday challenge (titles with colors): blue dream by wynnyfryd (part of the yogi Steve series). Filthy and unhinged in the best possible way. 🔥🔥🔥

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47494183?view_adult=true

blue dream by wynnyfryd

@wynnyfryd

Rating: Explicit

6,324 words, 1/1 chapters

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Yoga, yoga instructor steve, Recreational Drug Use, Marijuana, getting high and having sex, that's it that's the whole fic, Established Relationship, Top Steve Harrington, Dom Steve Harrington, Bottom Eddie Munson, Sub Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Lives, to suck dick amirite, heyoooo, seriously i cannot express how much this is just shameless slut hour, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Boys In Love, Fluff and Smut, Eddie Munson Has ADHD, and it's likesooo much worse when he's stoned good lord, POV Eddie Munson, i should probably add all the kink tags huh, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Play, Face-Fucking, Deepthroating, Hair-pulling, Feminization, the babygirlification of eddie munson as a treat, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, a truly aggressive use of the word 'baby', Mildly Dubious Consent, because they get high before having sex, they're both super into it but there ya go there's your warning, Do Drugs Eat Ass

Summary:

“Okay, time out,” Steve says behind him. “Hmm?” Eddie asks. He blinks long and slow, his lashes getting tangled, his gaze still caught on the bottle of lube. His eyes feel like cotton. Steve kisses his shoulder. “You're too high; we should wait a little bit.” “No, but I- I want-'' he huffs, frustrated, because he’s too stoned to articulate what he wants. It’s all a vague jumble of wanting in his head: wanting to touch and be touched, to be held and loved and fucked. To be consumed. Fondness in its filthiest form. “Eddie.” Okay. He may have a point. Eddie and Steve get high and bone down. That's it, that's the fic. (Written for Steddie week, day 7: free space)

Thanks for the rec!

This rec is a part of Challenge Monday. The challenge this week was Fics with Colors in the Title.

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!

#challenge monday #steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #dom/sub #smut #fluff

[dulcelem]

Part 3

So, with both of them back in Anakt Garden, what else to do if not keep following him? It is important to remember that they are children, acting immaturely and having childish attitudes. There is little point in analyzing any alnst character with our vision of society. They hardly have any social or emotional awareness, they act on instinct, and Ivan's instinct is to want Till to look at him. In flashbacks and official artwork, Ivan does everything in his power to trick Till into paying attention to him. The fight over the flower crown is a great example.

Till was giving him the attention he wanted, and Ivan was more than happy about it, because he couldn't tell the difference between bad attention and good attention. Nobody taught him this and he had difficulty understanding others. But, although I understand that the fights are more noticeable, it irritates me that that's all that is focused on by the majority. Yes, he deliberately instigated fights. Right. But he would also silently sit next to Till to watch him draw. He dedicated himself to freeing him every time he could. He would steal his things only to return them later to interact with him. He lay next to Till after he was beaten and locked up. He would lie down next to Till to admire the sky (looking at Till, of course) with him. He was the one playing with Till, not Mizi. Anything and everything to stay by his side—with him. No matter how you look at it, one irreducible fact is that Ivan was always, always there. One way or another, for better or worse: it was always him. He was the one next to Till. All this child wanted was to be close to Till.

The difference...

That is, until he realized the type of relationship MiziSua had. He was consumed by envy, because he and Till did not and would never have that; and loneliness, because Sua was different from him.

Suddenly, being close wasn't close enough. He wanted to be noticed and he wanted to be loved. Till is the person Ivan is intrigued by the most. He loves and admires him and he longed for an unlikely reciprocity of these feelings. Although he desperately wanted it, Ivan seemed hyperaware that not only was he unloved, he wasn't even looked at. Till not so much as deigned to look at him, oblivious to the pain, oblivious to the feelings, oblivious to how much he meant to Ivan. And Ivan hated that.

But, as time passed, it seems that this became something he learned to live with despite all the bitterness he must have felt. As is evident in Round6, their interactions diminished over time. Maybe that's the reason, maybe not. Ivan, stubbornly(like a dog following its true owner), remained close to him but, now, only when he needed it. Marjorietarily when he was unconscious, when he was on a collar. Even though the interactions were fewer, Ivan couldn't stay away from Till. Close, on his own twisted way. He didn't even show his gentleness. He didn't want to show his affection, only his agressive side and that's a key part of their relationship: Till never knew his kindness, and Ivan also didn't even show him.

Something that breaks my heart is the message he leaves Till before they part. I'll just leave it here, I don't need to say anything else.

Part 2

#alnst #alien stage #ivantill #alnst ivan #alnst till #ivan alien stage

[brittscafe]

Hello! I absolutely love your writing. First time sending in a request. Toshiro x fem! reader please 😊

I was wondering if you could write something, with someone who is also a Sagittarius like he is? Or a fire sign in general? Who shares similar traits like he has. And yet, she's completely fallen for him because he sees the world from a different perspective from her.

Both seem to love the sky, have strong morals, are respectful, are stubborn and unbending when it comes to protecting those they care for, trains a lot to protect those who cannot protect themself, can be soft and/or playful with those they care for, anxious when they feel their loved ones are in danger, and reserved about keeping their heart (love) to themselves.

But in this case, for fem! reader, an incident happens one day, that causes her to lose control of her emotions and they just spill out like word vomit. She finds herself mortified. She doesn't want to lose him because she lost herself in the moment or out of selfishness.

Sorry if that's too detailed 😖 the rules say to add details. You're the pro, feel free to pluck out whatever makes sense and leave out whatever doesn't 💝

Fluffy or romantic ending please 🙏🏻. If you think it could potentially go into smut territory, I'll take that too!

Hiiiii! I love all the details omgggg <3 Also, I am so so so soooo sorry for finishing sooo late, it's been in my drafts for months <3

You had manage to keep your feelings hidden inside of you, they were true, but reserved. You couldn't possibly ever admit your love for Toshiro Hitsugaya, it's something you are going to keep to yourself until your grave.

You were never reckless on the battlefield, but you were always plenty anxious. Anxious to lose your friends and anxious of them getting hurt, especially Captain Hitsugaya.

Captain Hitsugaya, you, and his squad are out in the World of the Living on a mission when the arrancars decide to attack.

Smoke fills the air as the sky starts to darken to a light grey. You tighten your grasp around your sword handle, panting heavily as your chest rumbles.

"Are they ever going to give up?" Rangiku sighs out, clearly annoyed and exhausted. Toshiro shoots her a sharp glare and clears his throat.

"Stay focused, Rangiku. Take the other squad members to deal with Findorr and Harribel. Y/n and I will take care of Grimmjow," Toshiro states with a demanding voice.

Rangiku nods her head and disappears off the to other side town to deal with the other arrancars, squad members backing her up.

You glance over at Toshiro then over at Grimmjow, a strand of his eletric blue hair hanging down over his face.

"Let's have some fun," Grimmjow chuckles out, eyes full of darkness as he leaps forward, swinging his sword. Toshiro and you easily dodge Grimmjow's attack.

The two of you spin around, expecting to face Grimmjow, but he's nowhere in sight.

Then, your eyes widen and you turn your head around.

It's too late.

Grimmjow's already swinging his sword straight at Toshiro, there's not enough time for him to block the attack.

Your body moves before you can even think; it's not like you had to think about it though. You would lay your life on the line for Toshiro at anytime.

A startled gasp leaves your lips as the sword drives through your lower stomach instead of Toshiro.

"No," Toshiro mumbles underneath his breath, heart ramming against his chest as time moves ever so slowly. Toshiro had no idea that time was like water, moving so slowly.

He watches as the blood spreads throughout your uniform and Grimmjow rips his sword out of your body.

Your weak body now collaspes on the ground, unable to hold itself up. Toshiro glances over at where Grimmjow once was, but he's gone, disappeared back to Hueco Mundo with the rest of the arrancars.

Toshiro kneels down beside you as you pant heavily, sweat beads on your forehead as you stare up at the sky that's now clearing of the grey color, going back to its original blue color.

"Y/n, why would you do that?" Toshiro raises his voice, eyebrows furrowing. Concern fills his icy blue eyes as he pants heavily and your face scrunches up in agony.

Your eyes immediately fill up with burning tears as you gaze over at him, trying to hold yourself together. Your stomach is twisting into uneasy knots, your mind flooding with thoughts.

If you were going die...you can't die without confessing your feelings for Toshiro.

"Because...I'm in love with you," your voice breaks as the tears stream down your cheeks. His eyes widen and the cold wind slaps against his skin.

"What?" Toshiro breathes out, eyes glued onto your mortified face.

"I couldn't lose you," you groan out, pain rippling through your torso and spreading like a wildfire. You squirm on the ground and Toshiro's eyes rake over your face.

He can't lose you. Not like this.

Toshiro stares at you for a moment, gazing into your beautiful, teary eyes. He slowly reaches out his hand in the moment of silence and your stomach twists.

You suddenly ease as Toshiro places his hand on your cheek, thumb caressing your skin. Your skin is so soft against his thumb and he relishes in the moment.

You're in so much pain and he wants nothing to do other than to take it all away.

"I can't lose you either, y/n," Toshiro speaks up, swiftly stepping into action. His arms wrap up your body and lift you up into his tiny, but yet very strong arms.

But that was all that Toshiro had to say to convey his feelings. He couldn't lose you either...

Your eyes are wide in shock as you stare at Toshiro, so desperate to save you. Your face is hot though from his words and you gulp, slowly starting to remember how much pain you're in...after all there is a hole in your torso right now.

"Thank you," you mumble out, resting your head against his chest as he carries you off to safety in his arms.

You eventually passed out from the pain on the way back to the Soul Society. Toshiro took his opportunity to kiss your forehead with a warm and soft kiss...

#toshiro hitsugaya #bleach #toshiro hitsugaya x reader #bleachanime #bleach imagines #bleach anime #bleach x reader #bleach x you #bleach x y/n #bleach x female reader #toshiro hitsugaya imagine #hitsugaya toshiro #captain hitsugaya #tōshirō hitsugaya #bleach hitsugaya #hitsugaya toshiro x reader #fluff #bleach toshiro #bleach toshiro x reader

[writer-room]

Honestly the funniest thing about TDP to me is that Rayla for some reason always thinks Callum isn't 100% ride-or-die with her on any given situation. Seriously, she could decide she's jumping off a cliff and he'd do it too--oh wait.

I get that half of it is 'protecting' him but like. Girl he has been ready to die and kill for you since the first snake chain incident. It has not lightened up since. In fact its gotten worse. She's his special little guy and if anything happens to her he will kill everyone in the room and then himself. She physically cannot ever sacrifice herself for anyone because Callum WILL be following her straight into the afterlife in no less than a minute. I'm fully convinced he can and would go even further than Claudia and he'd barely have to think on it for five seconds before shrugging like "damn this sucks, can't believe I have to turn evil" "you literally don't have to--" "no I'm gonna"

And honestly I think that's peak teenagers first girlfriend behavior.

#tdp #the dragon prince #tdp rayla #tdp callum #text post #tdp season 5 #rayllum #talk #funny #its so funny to me girl he would KILL EVERYONE FOR YOU (except ez) #HOW WERE YOU SURPRISED HE WAS SO DEAD SET ON HELPING YOUR PARENTS ITS CALLUM #not only that bestie you could put the blade to his throat & he would let you. he wouldnt even fight he'd just let you #he would go so feral for you. release his chains. free him. #he wouldnt say 'please let me kill for you' but he would dramaticaly get on 1 knee & say 'rayla i would kill for you if it came down to it' #as if he wouldnt just do that if someone pushed him enough. i want someone to push his buttons enough. set him off it'll b funny #absence did make the heart grow fonder but i think he overdozed a bit. like just a smidge. theres like way too much fondness now #also its great bc MMMMM how do those callum & viren/claudia parallels FEEL BOYS #WILL DO ANYTHING FOR FAMILY SO TRUE. and also communication issues BUT MOSTLY THE SACRIFICE #hes the number 1 rayla defender. he supports her rights AND her wrongs

[todayisafridaynight]

Apologies in advance for I am limited on characters I have thoughts on but

I hate changing the colors to maintain a smooth gradient or I would've had more tiers and nuances... I'm often told Date's a worse driver than I remember, and Mitsu is sort of Schrodinger's License tier (minus the implication of high status) but. Y'know. If he's a civilian now and he's got a wife and kid it'd be useful methinks... Shishi also doesn't seem like the worst driver from what we see of him actually behind the wheel himself (vs. having a lackey drive) but I don't trust him like that... lol... I also do not remember Nishiki's driving at all even though I recall he's a Car Guy (as of 0, anyway) so I couldn't place him

this right here the reason why i havent closed my inbox this EXACTLY the kinda shit im looking for.... thank you so much...

#snap chats #couldnt have said it better myself.... schrodingers license HELP #cackling too hard at daigo and aoki being too used to being driven around. ITS TRUE THOUGH I KNOW IT IS #still want aoki's driver to get a pay raise..... and like. a free condo without having to pay any rent or anything. #i believe mitsu's a good driver. what arakawa say that he's good support in the backlines or smthn #i know he can drive well... mitsu prob got all kinds of You Dont Think Of It But Yeah Thats Actually Handy skills tbh #i wouldnt trust shishido with a car either tbh 😔 #god im JUST FINALLY NOW settling back into my dorm but i have class in like an hour im going to scream

[lameow-l]

FUNNIEST DUDE AND HE'S COMING HOME FOR FREE!!!!!!!

#hes the fusion of all sumeru's 4 and u cant tell me otherwise bc its true #ill explain tho #obviously hes got alhaitham's physique but also his arrogance (as in they think theyre smarter than everyone else) #then hes got geometry and math and an artistic side that's kaveh #they way he talk is straight up tighnari (i didnt watch the stream tho just the trailer and these posts) #“the most annoying thing about idiocy is that you cant explain it to an idiot” #“the current arrangements for this warp are pitiful! Zero points!” #“you look troubled. a portrait of eternal turmoil” “do try to think for yourself” #*i can also see a dottore but leave me alone* #lastly he's unintentionally funny just like how cyno is not funny for his jokes but for the idea that a serious guy like him would say them #honkai: star rail #dr. ratio #when i first saw him i didnt think i would like him this much #and im getting him for free?? hell yeah #its funny how people kept saying better than genshin bc did yall forget about **** ALOY****

[deer-with-a-stick]

on one hand, if larian gave us raw rules for revivify/raise dead, you could do things like save Duke Ravengard without Mizora (ignore her, go to Iron Throne where he's going to be dead for some stupid reason, cast Raise Dead with a diamonds and boom. you can't tell me that he's been dead for more than 10 days when you find him) or just revive random NPCs for fun but on the other hand dear god the chaos

#i've got like 80 diamonds no joke and i think a normal diamond costs 550 gold which is more than enough for raise dead #“soul needs to be willing” THE DUKE WILL 100 PERCENT BE WILLING #and its not like his soul isn't free to join #no way mizora can take his soul back from Bane and the Duke would never make a deal with a devil or demon #gahhh let me save my companions #like idk why can't you ask dame aylin about shadowheart's shar curse? #gale's true resurrection scroll is never talked about #despite the fact it could definitely cure karlach (if you remove all of the mechanical parts before casting) #and maybe cure astarion because i THINK he's just barely behind the 200 year mark #yeah ok there's one cast of it but also raw divine intervention go whee soo #you've got at least two clerics if you save isobel #and even if shadowheart's divine intervention is explained as shar being petty and them not having a good relationship in a good run #isobel??? man that's her mother in law i don't think she's going to say no #or idk could we call mizora to the house of hope and kill her or something #because her zariel's protection thing doesn't really help if shes ALREADY in the hells #anyway i was thinking of fanfiction could you tell #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate three

[darabeatha]

/ I can't believe my first 'oc' servant (and i put it on quotes bc its not like i invented the d.evil, and i also mean in general bc I literally can't remember when was the last time I had something close to an oc) is the frigging d.evil

#;ooc #ooc #IN MY DEFENSE;;;!! i had my first-ish oc as p.rometheus but i never found a fc for him; i just reblog memes about p.rometheus in general bu #he's not like; visibly appearing #he's getting his liver eaten somewhere that poor creature (p.rometheus) #i think its also why im like; OH THIS IS KINDA FUN bc its like; free real state #i mean in a way; regardless of whether u write a canon or an oc as how we know; i think at the end; they all become an oc #bc its like; even if u stick close to canon; u always end up adding stuff to the character themselves so its like in a way #they become new; does that make sense? #like there's always the saying that all canon charas are oc's and its true but i also like thinking #all canon charas -become- original creations #bc inevitably a part of u will be conveyed in them; its like; it comes with writing the character #once u decide ur gonna write someone; a part of u/ur thoughts will go to that form of expression u feel me? #of course i dont mean this as in u are ur muse; no i mean that everyone interprets things differently #its like art; like just from the simple fact that ur a human and that we are literally unique (not in the cliche way)ur bringing something #new; its like; it comes iwth the package

[bidokja]

people that think kim dokja is just Gone Forever in the end baffle me tbh

#like tbf yes its a vaguely open ending but like #it also. isnt really #the whole ppint is that like. life is both similar to and entirely different from a story #we dont get to control every single aspect of it. we dont get to control everything that happens to us #but in the end. we ultimately get to decide what we want to take from it #so after it ends. if you as the Reader want kim dokja to be there when they open the door. then he's there. that's just as true as anything #and also. cmon now. all his stories started moving again for a reason lets not do this please fhsjdjd #i dont trust tumblr at large to not be weird in the reblogs #and not take this as me saying something i didnt #so reblogs are off #but feel free to like or reply thats totally fine #ky speaks #orv #orv spoilers

[salsflore]

#its always the fucking chemistry projects that ruin my life #not ready to go back to school ... getting home late & eating the same food everyday & having less free time & hanging out with the same few #people i honestly! don’t even like that much.. zzz i don’t wanna receive my test results either – esp not for math #and i KNOW it gets 100x worse in a college/uni/work environment i think i’m just being a bit of a crybaby but i can’t bring myself to #look forward to anything at all. pass my exams & graduate yay ^__^ -> immediately go back and study some more #then i’ll have to get a job and afhjdkf... maybe i’m thinking too far ahead but it all feels inevitable anyways so does it matter if i am? #i don’t know why i’m struggling so much compared to my peers who don’t see any of this as an issue at all #was i cursed to be sad since primary school #i can’t even talk to anyone about it because my dad [ though he has good intentions ] almost always ends up feeding me a variant of #think about your future Or thats just how student life is. meanwhile my mom will begin a competition of Who Has It Worse?! #my sister has her own stuff going on and my religious aunt will say something along the lines of [ have faith & go with the flow ] #i wish i had someone to confide in but i only ever really have myself i think. it sucks cuz no one seems to get it at all #i know objectively thats probably not true but. ahh i feel so disconnected from everyone #cw negative #cw vent #i didnt intend for this to become a whole thing but i got carried away #💭

[camptw1nk]

many thoughts rushin thru my brain

#i am. im having uni thoughts #specifically drop out of uni thoughts #and i have these thoughts every year its true but usually at the end of the semester not the start #i am just. burned out from study i think #i have been in school of some form every semester since i was 5 years old that is Twenty Years of non stop schooling #and i am Tired #like i wanna drop out and work full time im enjoying my job a lot #but my doctor and gym membership are both thru school and so theyre free and so. if i stop. i have to start paying #which is doable if i work full time probably i just. its a lot and its a big deal #ive contacted the student advisors for an appointment and ill talk to my dad since hes the one that funded my studies #i wish i could just like. do One Class and not have it connected to a degree u know #enough to be enrolled and do some work but not so overwhelming #bc my current degree is one that i dont think can be done part time #so idk #its too late to withdraw and get my money back that deadline passed last week #its just very. im overwhelmed and i can not do 9h of uni on a Wednesday right after 3 days in a row of working #i could do another work day no problem but uni is a struggle bc it takes so much mental work #i don't know gang idk what imma do i will wait and see what the academic advisors say #in the mean time i have elected not to go to any of my wednesday classes i dont have the energy #i might go to my cinema studies class this afternoon i enjoy movie watching

[the-acid-pear]

the more i think about kris the more my insanity increases tbh there's just so much nuance with not only them but also the player and their relationship and it's layes upon layers of them and i keep tryin to peel them off inside my brain and its going to turn me into a dc villain or something

#luly talks #like the common idea is kris doesn't like the player. that's what we all seem to believe. but the more i think of it the least true it feel #sure they arent jumping in joy over the idea of having us with them but they also constantly keep us with them #even when you look at things abouhnhjnn oh good lord #im gonna throw up hang on fuck man. i mean isnt it FUCKING HILARIOUS 🤡 how being a puppet is almost a two way thing? #perhaps not a puppet per say but. we as the player arent really free either #not at fucking all. our choices matter as little as kris #wouldnt WE want too to be free? #we literally need kris to exist. we are tied to kris like kris is tied to us. we too are a being in this world that is trapped and limited #our vessel WAS literally destroyed after all. neither kris' or OUR choices matter #now lets think for a second about the babygirl our favorite rated salesman. okay? we usually understand he's projecting he wants freedom #and we assume kris wants freedom too i mean it would make a lot of sense #but. kris is moving their blue ass down to the basement for that. we are. #of COURSE spamton says Hyperlink Blocked which is commonly believed to be LOVE as in LV which like. #WHICH LIKE IS ACTUALLY MORE TIED TO THE FUCKING PLAYER THAN KRIS IM GONNA RIP MY LEG OFF #ITS TRUE SO TRUE BESTIE DONT WE? DONT WE WANT MORE LEVEL MORE POWER? #TOBY LOVES TO BARK BACK AT HIS FANS WHEN THE FANS GET A LITTLE ANNOYING EVERYONE WAS UPSET ABOUT THE LACK OF KILLIN IN CH1 #WE LITERALLY WANTED THAT SHIT TOO #your honor i am going insane if the jury thinks this is too far im pleading insanity but listen to me #it's there. we are a character in this world as much as anyone else is. #anyway that rant about spamton and the connections with US as the player aside i wanted to talk about kris so moving on #i think that's the best thing i've said since i got into deltarune i might try put it in a decently written post if i can work out the insa #ity also if my mutuals see if and are like yeah that's good make a coherent post about it boy in which case ill say on it boss and wag my t #il and run to do it anyway KRIS. #its just interesting. i think its a bit gratuitous to assume they HATE us. do they like all we do? DEF NOT LMAO. but there's more to this #kris knows more than we fucking do and that's just a fact #they might even know more about us than we know about ourselves after all the soul has been there since before we were playing #which i dont want to ask what implies its a bit nasty to think about #nasty as in confusing btw KJFNGBJGHB #there's just a lot going on with kris and stuff like the bunker and the piano

[dirt-str1der]

Kazu/maji is soooooo different than sae/maji this is because saejima and majima are best friends who go together everywhere and frequently close the toilet door in each others faces because they keep trying to follow each other inside and the other guys like No. im going to take a shit and kiryu and majima are like guys who are knotting each other every time they meet and conjoined at the groin , like majima will carry kiryus baby and saejima will raise it with him you know what i mean theres a lack of commitment (but no shortage of passion) with majima and kiryu theyre each others one night stand every single night but saejima and him stick with each other through thick and thin come hell or high water

#Yakuza loveblog #i just realised with horror that whenever i say kazu/maji without censoring it like that it actually appears in the tag itself #so thats why i have a typing quirk now #anyway you guys get what i mean #im not saying kiryu and majima dont love each other im just saying they dont love each other like saejima and majima do #kiryu is gentle and kind but he cant be loyal when nobody has ever sucessfully pinned him down before #saejima ... he is faithful. at the end of the day he will always come back to majima #and its the same for majima. saejima Gets him like no one else does ... they love each other the same way #i always say this but majima starting to wear his eyepatch less around saejima makes me explode fire and brimstone because he was hiding #damn near everything about himself his past his injuries and trauma because those arent for anybody but saejima. and saejima forgiving him #actively liberated him from those shackles. he waited for him every day and kept his head high until the day he could lower it to saejima .. #he bared himself to him then. showed him the life he was owed because saejima owned him then and had every right to strike him down where he #stood. nobody else was supposed to see his wounds because it was For saejima to judge if majima had been punished enough had suffered enough #for his sake .. the payment for his betrayal .. and saejima of course he forgave him. thats his bro ... the person he looks up to the most #so he forgives majima and majima is free to be his own person again not bound by honour or repayment. and he chose 2 remain by saejimas side #till death do them part or something like that #... the body text of this post implies that majima is an alpha. hes not jsyk hes literally omega coded ‘but hes so violent’ yeah. #hes meant to be like that. #saejima is levelheaded unlike kiryu so hes beta coded and he and majima fuck like rabbits #this is all FYI btw things i believe to be true backed up by source material

[our-inspire-verse]

Kiba: realizing that microdosing on cbd is helping me hold a front for long, solid periods.

Realizing that I've been rapid-switching and struggling with anxiety, delusion, and other ptsd related symptoms, which is dragging me into a depression and making me unable to be there in ways i would like to be. For myself and others.

Realizing that i had opportunities to stock up. Didn't. And thinking with a headshake at all those times Mitten's hubristic nature made her laugh in the face of gentle waste. "Another hit won't hurt. I know what you're thinking, 'save it!' I tell you, we are living, my love!" She would cackle.

(Bout to be a long ish post. Meant to just check in briefly but i like to talk. )

Tisk tisk. This is why occasionally we tell her no. No, we will not get drinky drink. We are saving money. "It is only 2 dollar!" Yes. I am aware. How many 2 dollar have you spent? How many are we making? When will we make more?

And the quastion circles back, my little feathery feline. When can we start properly dosing on cbd again? Mitten. When will we have more.

Her stupid little cat smile. Silly little masochist. She knows it could be some time. She knows what we are feeling, and sure it could be good to suffer and feel what she so missed: the very low and agonizing sensations of being in pain. We have a perspective that controlled, healthy pain, is very necessary for healing. However: we could simply dose for sleep, for tummy problems, and unsolvable brain scrambles. Meditation could not save us on the porch, or in the office(references to things.) Water, walking, calm and nature cannot always be the only solution. As I've lived for a long time, I've solved on my own. I have fought and clawed and suffocated. All alone.

And Mitten and the others, of course, have always been there, but together we are isolated. But cbd, preferably thc and flower, hopefully one day edibles mostly, have always made us feel closer. More real, together. Louder. Warmer. Clarifies us, makes it so i can hold a front. So a switch does not hurt and feel dizzying. I just wish it did not come at such a harm to very specific parties. I just want to be a comfort and helpful, but things strain, and i am weak in my little dog knees.

I'm so so weak lately and my mind is faltering. Headaches, pretty regularly if i fight too hard against the dying of my light, if i rage against my self loathing and succeed especially, as I've successfully and painlessly done this past year, i falter and fail now. I cannot hold front, none of us can. We cannot see who we are, and even the most formed and solid headmates find themselves half there and floating away and possibly regressed or scared. I do not fear that i am addicted to cbd, i know who i am and how i am processing and what addiction does feel like. I've avoided it with this successfully this far.

My issue is that others may perceive it that way if i reveal what desperation i feel. Truly, it is the mark of a man who found a very helpful, consistent and aquirable remedy, and a man who took his rest from it for health, as well as for proof of his comfort in lifestyle as one who can regulate and self care. It is the mark of someone, long past the promised date of return to the substance, and unable to come back. Unable to ground, or process, or meditate the way i need to be doing to stay stable in an insanely unstable environment. I'd pay a dollar per hit at this point. Give me 1 boof off a boogn. Please.

#im trying to be civilized but literally America's government having the grip on all our throats like it does #is really really making it hard not to react to the trauma a prey animal would feel(i am) #it's bad enough. give me free hormones. give me free high quality weed. give me free food and housing and art supplies. #neg? kinda? #positive. im gonna say pos. #system babbles #kiba #osdd #actually osdd #actually plural #system posting #weed #drugs #tw #cw #idk if that stuff bothers anyone who follows me but yea i do SHMOke and yes its a personality trait ple3ase goed leave me alone #plants not chemicals my ass im a chemist and a gardener I'm dual majored baby. i believe in science and magic bc a true scientist believes #in evidence supplied to him and answers he will never reach. im so smart. someone pleaseeeeeee give me acid i will straight up. #drug me ohhh ny God my brain is too huge

[hauntingblue]

If I was funnier and had the time, I would write a batfam fanfic that would actually be a very bad telenovela where everyone is terrible and dramatic, the worst ships ever thought about happen and they all fight to get bruces inheritance or want to be on WE or something like that. It would be like wfa but with completely opposite vibes

#and you would tell me girl if you want a telenovela read ntt and i would say yeah thats on my list #like imagine the potential #babs is a resentful woman (amargada y despechada) because dick cheated on her with kory after he proposed #tim is thw worst because hes dating steph but of course he cheats with bernard but then kon is his friends to lovers so he cheats again #and like idk jason gets a gf and cass seduces her because she hates his guts #but then cass wants steph after she breaks up with tim but has to choose between true love and vengance (sleeping with jasons gf) #and maybe she chooses both #and alfred is the most two faced son of a bitch you can conceive #bruce is just oblivious to all of this btw #maybe they all get an evil step mother or smth #oh and of course babs and jason would have something!!! what is better than getting with your exs brother lmaoooo #mayne stephanie is next or maybe she gets with kon too idk #talking tag #this is my shameful post of the month feel free to throw tomatoes #and also this would only be funny for me #and it would be in spanish because im not writing all that in english it loses its thing #juan pedro!! no me puedo creer que te hayas acostado con barbara!!! despues de todo lo que ricardo y ella han pasado!!! que pensara alfredo #and you would say to me: isnt everything ooc and slightly problematic and yeah. the true spirit of the telenovela