#he seems to check the boxes

[kingdomoftyto]

Decided to check out the audio drama Fawx & Stallion this weekend and GUYS... guys this show is SO FUNNY. I couldn't stop laughing for the first three episodes straight.

It's the story of some wannabe detectives living in Victorian London. Specifically, they live at 224B Baker Street, just across the street from a certain pair of decidedly more famous detectives--and they're sick and tired of having all their potential cases scooped by Sherlock Fucking Holmes. Luckily for them, while Holmes and Watson are out of town looking into some matter about a dog, a new case comes along and drops--by default--into our would-be heroes' laps.

And just who are these aspiring crime-solvers?

Hampton Fawx: detective and gentleman. What he lacks in common sense he makes up for with raw theater-kid enthusiasm.

James Stallion: gentleman and detective. A loyal friend and companion when he's not being a self-important arse. Runs on approximately 20% gin and 80% spite.

and finally Madge: neither gentleman nor detective. She's just been stood up by her date and she's going to make that everyone else's problem. She'll agree to help on this case just for the Drama.

It's a hysterical romp so far. A lighthearted farce set just offscreen from Holmes' own capers (for now!). Our main trio lacks even a single braincell to share between them, but by GOD they're going to solve this case and I'm going to be cheering them on the whole way there!

From what I can tell, new episodes are typically every other Monday, but the show's on a short hiatus for the holidays, to return in 2023. The first five are currently available to listen to, though, and I highly recommend it!

#Fawx & Stallion #certain details omitted so as not to spoil the little ep1 surprises :3c #this is a fun one to go into without much prior knowledge so if you're sold then please check it out now!! #I don't want to rob anyone of the gleeful little gasps that I let out as certain details came to light #but if you would like a few tiny spoilers to give you some more miscellaneous character info: #Hampton is asexual (I did not know this going in and it took me a bit to pick up on it but it is alluded to already in the show!) #James and Madge are legally married (which is why I left her surname out of the main post) but #they're both gay and happily pursuing other relationships with each other's blessing. #James is in a committed relationship (basically reads as married) to an Inspector from Scotland Yard and they're disgustingly cute together #his partner Archie is extremely long-suffering because Hampton and James' antics end up getting them in trouble more often than not #and Archie has to clean up their messes without seeming like he's showing favoritism. #(that description sounds like it could be tense but it's actually more in the tone of sitcom hijinks. it's lighthearted and hilarious) #and Madge is a complete disaster lesbian who apparently has an on-again-off-again relationship with Martha across the street #yes THAT Martha across the street #and anyway the three of them--Hampton James and Madge--all just share a flat with an ancient cat and #spend their days drinking booze and amateur boxing and bitching about Holmes and Watson #it's great. please give it a listen :)

[sangummeo]

Yesterday I was made aware of an obscure character that fit my design tastes. (Lloyd from Urbz)

Of COURSE I had to draw him!

#he literally checks all of my boxes for appealing character design lmao #idk why he just seems like a himbo #drawing #scalie art #lloyd Urbz #digital sketch

[fluffypotatey]

I don't know if you know Pokemon, but there's this popular comic about Larry getting isekai-ed to the Pokemon world from our world and he's like "aight so I immediately went ok and went to get a job and pay pokemon taxes" and that's how I see Macky. makes sense how he's so full of rage and evil when his last memory might have been a brutal death and centuries in the diyuu. but still, you'd think he'd be a smidge more crazy sometimes, what up with the fake heroism and charisma and "yeah im just gonna ignore that kid that just fell off trying to climb up here" face until MK teleported in front of him???? but alas, he do be an actor. also cracks me up how they make him go "haha! you unloaded all your secret insecurities on me! but hey, no shame in that, its good to talk about your feelings, I don't really do it...maybe I should, buuuut we'd be here all day so >:)" like not only is that a hilarious call out about villains having trauma trope, but the 'maybe I should' and that there's so much of it, like blub u good 😭 am I watching a crack video. but how he laughs at the start there like you think accidental therapy monkey status is a big "gotcha" moment?? clown behavior. funniest thing to evil laugh about he looks manic and insane about it, what if I toss him out the window affectionately.

who tf is larry?

#for real tho i would help you throw him #or rather.....defenestrate him from the building :3 #like macky is so funny to me #he has all these boxes where he checks off for sympathetic villain and has the dramatics for it #but he's also pretty subversive for the trope (which i love) #also do not share your trauma with this monkey #he is not a therapist nor can he be trusted to throw more trauma at you. he might take it as a competition (sometimes it feels like he took #mk's trauma & anxieties & fears as a competition for his own issues. like sir went 'YOU THOUGHT THIS PLAY WAS ABOUT YOU??? BITCH???' #all because MK related to the Warrior (his self insert) i love him) #tho while not a therapist he seems like a good friend to unload shit by s4 bc he's reached his own personal epiphany about fate & free will #bc most of his personal struggle was fighting what he believed was inevitable #he wanted freedom and the will to fight back but was trapped under LBD's contract & his personal issues w/ swk made him see #MK as nothing but a repeat of history that is doomed to be repeated. and you see him force those ideas onto MK in s2 & s3 #and tho MK fights against it. it sticks with him and fuels his insecurities bc literally everything almost seems to confirm it #AND THEN IT IS MACKY WHO TELLS HIM THAT 'No that doesn't have to be the answer. there's always another way and YOU taught me that' #LIKE WHAT THE FUCK #lmk #asks #lmk six eared macaque

[vote2]

He purrs so much I thought they only purred when they got pet but he has been non stop even when he's hiding under a pillow.

#unless its a stress thing but he seems happy idk. he is nice and loves to headbutt you for pets #back side hair is thinning due to stress grooming at the shelter but hopefully he doesnt continue that. havnt seen any #since hes been here #he hasnt eaten or gone to the bathroom and he knows where both is :s stressing me out #like he climbed in his littler box but didnt use it so like. okay. #checking it out ig. he ate a few pieces of food 👍

[spiritofjustice]

Tazmily couples ranked by how cute they are (they’re all S tier except Pusher/Elmore and Lisa/Thomas)

#Psy's no punctuation posts #mother tag #all the couples are just soo cute though... #Abbot/Abbey and Paul/Linda are my top favorites though obviously #but man they're all cute or at the very least interesting #Matt/Jill seems charming too. Matt seems like he'd be a very goofy husband and I'm sure Jill thinks he's the cutest and funniest man ever #Jonel and Brenda seem like they'd have that old married couple vibe but i genuinely think they could be cute sometimes #Ed/Nan has a similar charm of Paul/Lin to me though it's still different. can't put into words why #and Lisa/Thomas is iffy to me because Thomas is kind of a creep... idk #i feel bad for Lisa it seems like she just gets annoyed by him? they should divorce KRGHF #and Pusher and Elmore are like. they are not cute at most they would be extremely funny together #petty bitches together. and also to each other. not healthy they're just together for appearances #(also i. ofc hc Elmore as a lesbian myself) #there's also a lot of rly cute potential couples too but i don't want to muddy the waters #but i am also biased towards Lighter/Caroline and of course Abbot/Abbey/Paul/Linda. and maybe Ollie/Sebastian or Ollie/Isaac idk #also Flint/Hinawa obviously very good. i am ALL over ships with upbeat women with quiet men. considering how hard i stan Paul/Linda #(Ed/Nan also checks this box for me) #anyways i'm done KRHF #this post is 90% tags fml

[tariah23]

This dude is awesome… but also, I haven’t seen Bamboozled since middle school, oh my god. I’d almost forgotten about it-

#they had the movie at our local library so i remember my family checking it out and how I watched it so many times I didn’t even know that #it was a spike Lee film back then #I don’t think I was wise enough to absorb the message of the film all too well back then since I was like probably in 4th grade or so but I #got the gist of it #this video is great I literally never see people talk about this movie #it didn’t really do too well in the box office but it’s a pretty decent commentary on #🦝’s… #rambling #movies #American fiction is coming out…! #I want to see that film! #seems to have similar talking points to bamboozled (not entirely but within the same realm) #the main guys doesn’t appear to be a 🦝 but he wrote a book that white folks would love that reinforces black stereotypes and he’s gaining #accolades because of that but based off of the trailer it seems like it might be a comedy as well #bamboozled had comedians and hip hop artists playing black ppl from completely diff backgrounds who believed in separate ideologies and #visions and the film looked low budget as hell but it did what it was supposed to do

[darrengrave]

As a transmasc, I would've loved it if they had NOT decided to suddenly write Jim as wlw. That's SUCH a major peeve of mine.

#ofmd #idc about the he/him lesbian debate if that's your experience cool i love that for you #its not mine #having those labels CONSTANTLY pushed on me despite not even liking women is my experience though #gets really damn old after awhile #idc if jim is bi or has a romance with a woman either #what is annoying is that it suddenly has people talking like he's a woman in the script though #im not mad its just SUCH a common assumption and it really bothers me because i have really nothing to do with the entire spectrum of wlw #i never have #outside of general queer solidarity #i love the women in our community and there's a very important reason lesbian is first in the lgbt anagram #its just not my personal experience and im so gd tired of people assuming it is #jim can be nonbinary no problem but maybe like address that so it's not yet another transman forced into the box of lesbian or bi woman? #i really like the new character too she seems really cool #but maybe don't call forcing them to fight misogynistic as a joke if last i checked one of them doesn't id as a woman?? #just hoping the language around jim doesn't stay like that through the rest of the season

[gerritcole-coded]

I hope McKinney is alright. He was obviously in pain after fouling the ball off his foot

#little surprised the booth barely talked about it? and did anyone check on him or did he wave them off #he seemed to hesitate to get back in the box. im worried he hurt himself

[jisungshotfirst]

I am only one vid into my mcnd stanning mission and I've just immeditaly figured out that my bias predictions are wrong, it's gonna be minjae

#bic is 💓 coz he's the one I've known this whole time and 01 buddy so he's honourary bias #and I thot huijun would be to one to get up there too coz PRETTY #but JFJDJD I'm literally one vid in and minjae is being stupid and an enfp and he's a main vocal and a bear and I am predictable #my go to biases are often some form of enfp main vocal bear stupid silly boy and minjae is checking those boxes #which is hilarious coz he's the only one who's name I had forgotten fjdjd #and he's seeming pretty gay he called huijun sexy so #HE COOKS TOO??? #he is ticking All the boxes #I am predictable fjdjdj #mcnd #kit shit

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

#ffs foibles #funny #story #writing #story time #sex shop #retail #funny story

[swugflower]

So I was at a (vaguely work related) costume party yesterday. (The hosts are coworkers of mine and the guests were customer of ours)

And I made the fatal mistake of complimenting a guy in a viking-esque/ren faire costume. I just told him he looks cool in it.

And he just wouldn’t fucking leave me alone for the rest of the evening to the point I thought of leaving early (mind you, i went 4hours by train to attend)

Like at first we engaged in some small talk but he just wouldn’t fucking leave. And everytime I went away from him to eat/drink/talk to someone he would soon follow. Where ever I was he was suddenly also there.

And my coworkers started asking if I need help with him and one of the hosts told him I’m a lesbian and not interested. He kept hanging around me still.

Another coworker told me, he kept asking for me whenever I left the room. When dancing he kept edging closer and I very pointedly looked not at him and nothing helped.

And I’m actually quite upset with myself that I never told him off directly but only did it subtly (walking away from him, not engaging anymore when he talked to me, etc.) There wasn’t even a real reason, it’s not like this was an potentially dangerous situation but I just didn’t want to and didn’t want to be mean because in the end he did “nothing” but being annoying.

And, my moral of the story, will sadly be that I’ll refrain from giving men compliments in the future. I love giving compliments, to strangers and friends but I had to deeply regret it the whole evening.

They say it costs nothing to be kind, but in this case it very much did. It cost me my evening, lots of fun, and honestly another chunk of trust in men.

And I often think about men speaking about how rarely people show them kindness and how they never receive flowers and stuff and despite all the distrust and anger I feel against men, I feel for it and it makes me sad.

But once again I was very strongly reminded why that is and why non-men and women have to be like this.

So, yeah. That’s that. Fuck men and yes all men.

(And I wanna stretch that he isn’t a coworker and despite being a customer there wouldn’t have been any negative consequences for me if I had told him to fuck off, so really idk why I let him continue :/ )

#the people I were with kept checking in with me #so I was indeed safe #including the hosts boyfriend who seems to be an amazing guy #I’m gnc and non binary and most men don’t show interest in me #and I guess I sometimes almost forget that that doesn’t free me from situations like that #I like being kind :( #swugs ted talk #rant #tw harassment #I gues I’ll just Tag it to be on the safe side #feminism #male loneliness #all men #fuck men #yes all men #but at least I now have a very funny photo box picture of my drinking my beer pissed af when he showed up again #all the girls I complicated were so nice #I hate men #fuck

[eggjaculations]

okay. does everyone go thru that weird stage of adulthood where they don’t like anyone they meet and they don’t meet anyone they like? i know it’s me it can’t be this many other people.

#friends new girlfriend came to hang out #(he refuses to call her that but they go on dates and she makes him dinner and they fuck so. say la vee.) #and i. ion like her. #like she checks off all the boxes. #she’s polite and more than just nice and she’s cool #she’s interesting. #but she seems tailored to my experience and i don’t actually like that #yea i want someone to relate to but i want them to be themselves #she don’t gotta LIE about her whole heritage just to fit in… #or her upbringing or idk #she fronting a bunch of shit she can’t back tho #it’s just weird #like girl JUST BE REG. #it’s fine if u regular black we like regular black. #you don’t gotta start talking about how you speak creole french and then NOT SPEAK CREOLE FRENCH 😭😭 #that’s the only other language i know. #you got the wrong one lmfao.

[sirfrogsworth]

Do you remember that Aussie sword guy who used to talk about medieval weapons?

And, like, he seemed pretty good at talking about swords and shit. He seemed to have a good grasp of the history and tactics. He'd analyze movie weapons for their realism and that was fun. He did demonstrations with real weapons. For a time I really looked forward to his videos popping up in my feed.

He seemed like a harmless sword-fighting aficionado.

But then I guess he wanted to spread his wings. So he started down an anti-woke path. Giving questionable critiques about media and feminism. He started defending boob armor by showing historical examples even though most of those were decorative and not battle ready like in the games.

Then he admitted he was a fan of The Daily Wire.

And that was disappointing.

I missed him nerding out about swords, ya know?

Well, Shad decided to spread his wings again.

He has become...

*bad French accent* An artiste.

You see, he types words into a little box. Then a little robot does a google image search and steals a bunch of art. Then that robot reconfigures that art to be nearly indistinguishable from the source material. Well... aside from the occasional artist watermark.

Whoops!

A.I. art is very difficult. Sometimes when you type words into the box you get a woman with 5 lopsided anime tiddies. Or 20 fingers on one hand. It takes time and effort and experience to type in the perfect magic words so that you get something close to your imagination that doesn't belong in some sort of Lovecraftian horror ripoff.

For example, check out this cool "pirate hat" I asked A.I. to place on my head.

Clearly, I am not skilled enough at typing words into a box to get a proper pirate hat.

It. Is. Not. Easy.

I heard someone say you have to type things in a box for 10,000 hours before you start getting truly masterful generations.

I mean, you can't type "marathon runners" and expect that to actually work.

THIS REQUIRES SKILL, PEOPLE.

And I am a lowly amateur. I can only dream of becoming the box-typist Shad has honed himself into.

The thing is... Shad is very upset.

He is upset that you don't like his "art" and he is ready to die on this hill.

So... before he croaks on a mound of bullshit, he has something to show you. He has created something truly brilliant and when you see it, he is convinced you will validate his considerable efforts.

Before I show you his "Not. Easy." artistic masterpiece I'd like you to sit with what he has said for a second.

Ruminate in the verbiage.

Process the ideas and points of view presented.

Digest his plea for you to accept and love his hard won battle after typing words into a box to manifest his imaginings.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Have you sat?

Ruminated?

Processed?

Digested?

Okay, here it is...

#long post

[stonersolana]

you're out there, with your new group of friends, in my dress and my heels and my makeup and you're not even thinking about me at all

#sunbun speaks #maia #thing 1 #i checked her facebook to make sure she was okay #and yeah i saw a few pictures of her in my clothes and makeup #that i left behind in boxes #min told me that he would send them all to goodwill if i didn't have the money to cover the shipment of my stuff #i was in debt and in the psych ward at the time so i just told him to do it #but it seems like Maia kept at least some of it #i miss her so much #and i hate min for driving a wedge between us #and i hate that i have nothing of hers or anything she gave me to remember her by #but she had all my stuff to pick through what she wanted #it's been around 6 years since we last spoke #when the last thing she promised me was that we would work on our friendship #then stopped responding #and it still hurts like it happened yesterday

[mostly-imagines]

Guard Dog

jason todd x fem!reader

aka don’t fuck with jason’s girlfriend

4 in 1 blurbs

warnings: mildly creepy guys, standard protective bf methods

Jason’s good at shutting people up very quickly. You’d almost call it a talent.

He shuts you up with a kiss when you get stuck in a rant, or with a hug to calm your worried rambles.

And when you’re in an incorrigibly teasing mood, he’ll throw you over his shoulder and carry you back to your bedroom to really shut you up.

With other people though, he has…different methods.

You sit atop your kitchen counter, trading lazy kisses in between giggles with your boyfriend. He stands in front of you, hands massaging your thighs as he leans in for another. You happily oblige.

You break off the exchange to lay a series of sweet kisses on that spot under his jaw.

His head tilts back, letting out a groan so low you nearly miss it. “Sweetheart…” he warns.

“Sorry…” you resign with a sheepish smile.

A knock at the door bursts you out of your shared reverie. You press a kiss to his knuckles and hop down to start setting the table.

Jason gets the door, greeting the pizza guy with a nod as you shuffle around the kitchen. The delivery guy hands him a receipt, asking for a signature.

Jason uses the door as a surface to sign, giving the delivery guy an apt view into your apartment, where he sees you getting out plates in the kitchen. More noticeably, he sees you in your boyfriend's shirt, which rides up just a little bit when you stand up on your toes to reach the top cabinet. The lift of the shirt exposes the bottom of your underwear, though it falls back into place again just as quickly.

Now, lucky for this guy, Jason’s facing the door and does not see him checking you out in your own home. Unlucky for this guy, he has wildly misread the vibe of your relationship. Or at least your boyfriend.

“Man, how do you get anything done around here?” He jests.

Jason looks up at him, and the pizza man’s eyes tear away from your legs to meet his hard gaze. It does not take him long to realize his mistake.

“Try again.” Jason behests, arms crossed in front of him.

The pizza boy’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head, stuttering. “I—uh, I said have a good night.”

“Mhm.” He grumbles.

The pizza guy hands Jason the box with shaky hands and scuttles back down the hallway.

Thankfully, you didn’t seem to notice the exchange, but even so, your boyfriend still glowers down the hallway after him.

“Jay?”

His attention snaps back to you, demeanor changing instantly. “Yeah, baby?”

You’re sitting in your usual spot at the table, his chair empty and waiting just around the corner from you.

“Come sit.” You say, with eyes that might as well be hearts.

He gives a reassuring nod and kicks the door shut behind him.

You and Jason are sitting on the floor in his old room at the manor, your legs thrown over his. You lean up against his bed, asking him about posters on the walls and trinkets on the shelves.

His knee is propped up and your arm dangles across it, his hand in yours. He plays with your fingers and periodically leans forward to leave a kiss on them.

You’d just woken up less than an hour ago after spending the night post-gala, and it’s a peaceful, if not unusually quiet morning.

Dick shouts your name from another room, audibly booking it towards you. Yeah. That’s more like what Jason remembers.

He grumbles some annoyances, dropping his head against your intertwined hands.

Dick bursts into the room, clearly incredibly excited.

“What’s up, Dick?” You ask, calm as ever. Jason lets an unseen smile creep up, head still down.

Dick’s practically jumping up and down, “You gotta see the shit that Tim just found in the cave!” His face drops as he directs his gaze to Jason, “You’re not invited.”

“Thank God.”

Dick ignores him and grabs your wrist, yanking you up from the floor. This is one place where he differs from Jason—he’s not always quite so aware of his own strength.

His grip doesn’t hurt really, but it’s firm enough that you imagine there’ll be bruise marks there later.

“Hey.” Jason calls out, nodding his head to where Dick is holding your arm. “Ease up.”

Dick follows his gaze and immediately loosens his hold, apologizing to you before pulling you along once again (this time much more gentle).

You grin at Jason as he tugs you out the door, him returning it with an endeared smile as he watches you go.

Fuck he loves you.

Jason had a decent break from his night job for once, and was happy to let you drag him out to a bar for a little date. You’d been linked at the hip for most of the night, his hands maintaining their ever present home on your waist and yours resting on his thighs as you tell him about your hectic day.

He’d usually prefer to stay in bed with you for as long as possible when he gets time off, but you’d looked so excited asking him to go out with you—he never stood a chance.

You look up into the mirror as you wash your hands, a strand of hair falling into your face as you do. You push it back behind your ear and smile to yourself, recalling the several times Jason had wordlessly done the same throughout the night as you rambled.

You make your way back to the bar, smile immediate on your face when you see your boyfriend. It gets replaced rather quickly though, when a man slides in front of you, cutting off your view of him.

“Hey there.”

You have to take a step back because of how close he decided to stand to you. He looks sober (enough) but wildly overconfident in whatevers about to happen.

"Let me buy you a drink, pretty thing."

Jason calls you pretty thing sometimes. It makes the blood rush to your cheeks and an inescapable smile creep up on your lips. When this guy says it, it makes you literally frown.

"Oh no, I'm okay, my—"

"You seem like a dirty martini kinda girl." He expertly ignores you, clearly trying and failing to make some kind of innuendo there.

Jason's sitting back against the bar, watching the interaction carefully. You still can’t see him, but he’s close and you can rest comfortable knowing he’s looking out for you.

With that reassurance, you don’t play this out quite as carefully as you would if you were alone.

"Look, I don't want a drink from you, thanks."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say to him because his face contorts quickly to mock-disgust that you figure is really just embarrassment.

“Hey, don’t be a bitch just ‘cause—”

You try to sidestep around him, thoroughly done with this interaction, but he grabs your upper arm harshly, pulling you to an abrupt stop.

Jason stands up real quick, yanking the guy backwards by his collar before you can even process what's happening.

Now, you know that Jason is an objectively intimidating guy. There's not many people that will come face to face with that absolute unit of a man and still decide to keep on trying him. However, you tend to forget that when you're so used to your gentle giant that only ever speaks to you kindly and touches you softly.

But his intimidating status becomes very apparent when the guy spins around, looks up at Jason, and immediately takes four steps back. He actually almost bumps into you in the process, not doing anything to tame Jason’s acute distaste for this man.

"Listen to me—back the fuck off before you get hurt."

“She—”

“I don’t give a fuck. Leave.”

The guy hesitates.

“Now.” Jason adjusts his posture to stand at his staggering full height, clearly with no qualms about putting him back in his place.

That does it for him, the man stumbllng away with half-committed mumbles of “whatever” or “something something lame anyway.”

Jason watches him until he walks out the door, before turning back to you.

He delicately takes your upper arm in his hand, pulling your sleeve up to search for bruising. But as harshly as he had grabbed you, it didn’t have the time to cause a bruise before Jason intervened.

“What’d he say to you?” Jason asks, brow furrowed as he inspects your arm.

“Nothing very interesting.” He looks at you mildly.

You smile and comb his hair back from his forehead, “Don’t worry about him. I’m good.”

He lets your arm go, and exchanges it for holding the back of your head, planting a kiss on your forehead.

You take his other hand and guide him back to your seats.

“Besides,” You look over his shoulder and let out a little shocked gasp. “Guess who just walked in.”

He gives you a questioning look before his face slacks, eyes widening in realization.

“No…” And you smile so brightly it almost makes up for what's coming his way.

You redirect your smile over his shoulder and give a wave to the door. Jason swigs down the rest of his drink, hand finding your waist once again.

“Jaybird!”

Jason’s still exhausted from patrol last night but he’d insisted on going with you to the bar to meet your friends. You’d tried to convince him that it was okay to stay in and rest tonight, you’d be fine. But it was a losing battle.

You suspect it has something to do with him not liking when you go out in Gotham at night, especially when you’re drinking.

So he hangs out in the background of the buzz, with you sat in front of him, in between his legs.

You’re talking it up with Roy, who’s been making jokes about how Jason’s “moody ass” tricked you, “the ray of sunshine” into this relationship somehow.

You laugh, taking a sip of your drink. “Right, ‘cause you and Kori were in love at first sight.”

"Oh, fuck off." Roy jeers.

He doesn't say it with the cadence of a joke, but it is.

You know he's joking, he knows he's joking.

Jason, who very well may have been tuned out of the conversation up to that point, does not seem to know he's joking—or he doesn't care.

You don't need to look behind you to know that your boyfriend is in defensive mode, though the look of regret mixed with amusement on Roy's face gives a solid hint.

You hold your hand out to block Jason his path as he moves forward. He lets you stop him, though you're certain he could get past you without so much as blinking, no problem.

"Right. My bad, forgot your guard dog was here. Don't fuck off." Roy backtracks, hands up in front of him.

Jason just rolls his eyes, slouching back down. You reach behind you for his hand, giving it two squeezes. You know he’s tired, so much so that he almost punched his best friend for making a typical joke.

“Five more minutes, okay?” You say softly over your shoulder.

He nods at you blearily, and ducks his head down to rest on your back. You adjust your posture a little bit to make it more comfortable for him and continue on talking, his hand still in yours.

If he hadn’t fallen asleep so quickly, five minutes would’ve been five minutes, but instead it became something more like fifty.

He goes through patches where sleep isn’t always so welcoming, a phase he’s been in for the past couple of weeks. You’d been waking up to find the bed half empty, your boyfriend resigned to doing research on cases in an attempt to at least be productive while he’s awake.

You can’t protect him in the same ways that he protects you—you’re not a fighter or necessarily “intimidating.” But you can protect him like this, in these little ways. Letting him nap on you, making him close the case files and rest with you, holding his hand throughout the night so that when he inevitably has nightmares, he knows immediately that you’re still with him. That he’s safe.

So if he can get some much needed sleep while only costing you a stiff back tomorrow, you’ll happily take that deal as many times as he needs.

#i got about a million of these up my sleeve #jason todd loves his gf #jason todd imagine #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd/reader #jason todd/you #batfam imagine #batfam x reader #batfam fanfiction #batfam x you #batfam fanfic #red hood x you #red hood imagine #red hood x reader #red hood fanfic #red hood fanfiction #protective bf #protective

[fated-normal-767]

bro I was talking to my dad today and he said “Girls argue so much. But I mean actual girls, not you, you’re non binary or trans or whatever.”

Context I never came out as nonbinary or trans masc to my dad. The guy just figured it out himself godbless.

#I hope he doesn’t sound trabsphobic to you guys he’s not i promise. he’s just completely insane #he prides himself on being able to tell if someone is gay so he can be especially nice to them but he always checks with me. #so we’ll meet someone and he’ll lean over to me and go. hey uh is that guy gay or transdgebder or whatever. and I’m like #seems to be #then he’s extra polite for the rest of the conversation #my posts dont forget this tag bro. #so many crazy facts about my dad. he illegally did boxing for 30 years.