#he sure loves his coffee

[meankeene]

q!cellbit immediately offering the kids he’s babysitting coffee

This man is a workaholic with no frame of reference for how kids work

#all he did pre roier was work at his desk and drink coffee #so he figures: ah yes these BABIES would love the same im sure #my GUY #cellbit #q!cellbit #qsmp

[milkbreadtoast]

This meme is ancient but I randomly saw it again and i needed to do it..... (not sure abt some of the charas but just wanted to fill up space dmfbn)

#twsb #when the third wheel strikes back #서브 남주가 파업하면 생기는 일 #shitpost #mcdonald's meme #i am sure abt the main trio + fred + benjamin kdjfjd #cackles... #yeseo is like. he's a responsible type so he WOULD be in the top corner u know? ...if not for his appetite/love of food... #that alone drives him toward the bottom right corner... #(thats my reasoning for putting him in the middle tho kdjf like hes not as chaotic as christelle so i didnt want to put him all the way down #like he still has his responsible side... BUT. the appetite.... he's prob be the one driving them to mcdonalds in the end... nomnom #christelle was easy to sort of... and elisa would also be w her #and ced is like. yea hes a jerk and black coffee drinker but... hes not rly a prankster like his mom #he's more stoic... so he's bumped up higher than smack in the corner w fres #*fred #benjamin... p self explanatory #ganael... he'd feel guilty if he's doing smth hes not supposed to but in the end he's a kid and would be excited abt going to mcdonalds #plus he'd easily get swept up by the others #herve... srry i wasnt sure abt u but he seems more responsible than his bro so #puts him near the top #aurelie... def wanted her in the top category but not as much as benjamin #plus she has her playful side so... shifted to the right #o also wasnt sure abt alex but from the few things i know #he seems kindhearted and also willing to have fun #puts him near yeseo..

[ctl-yuejie]

you remembered, quite observant ｜hidden agenda ep. 1

#hidden agenda #hidden agenda the series #joong archen #dunk natachai #aka very convoluted flirting strategies #i really like how needlessly chaotic this is already #i'm not even sure i want to get an explanation why joke doesn't directly hit on him before starting this whole thing #but i enjoy how charmed he is but also isn't so unrealistically enfatuated that he'd let bs slide #and i am not certain how airheaded zo is to not catch the i love you in mandarin by joke #love the petulant way he grabs his coffee (also in a way that screams 'I drink take out coffee a lot' - which probably is just dunk) #hmmm #first time i am watching a show with joongdunk and i enjoy them #some of the show feels a bit like it was made 2 years ago but it is pretty solid and i like the silliness of it all #i just hope nita doesn't have to suffer under their combined weirdness - i felt sorry when zo ripped the strap on her bag after not accepti #ng her refusal #but i appreciate that the show knows that he isn #t perfect - he did slap joke after all #also: i changed the font i used which took up 80% of the time working on this aka 25 minutes #still not 100% sure but the text reads crisper than on my older sets

[invinciblerodent]

oh no

oh no this is so bloody adorable

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 patch 6 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #TINY husband #BIGASS hand #if you think i'm playing dressup and recording kisses in different lightings #you're right #oc: arvid trygg #i already thought that gale gracefully dropping to one knee to kiss his little boyfriend was adorable #but NOW!!!!!!! #the PARALLEL!!!!!!! #he always gets on his knees and now he's doing it AGAIN only it's DIFFERENT do you SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM #i watched the regular kissies blanked out and wrote roughly 1.7k words of a body worship fic #just. hunkered down in a coffee shop and scribbled filth furiously into my lil notebook for a good hour and a half #i think i may even type this one up eventually because WELL!! #there needs to be more queer dwarf love for starters #and also because however much gale love there is it's not enough #(do NOT like the new inventory system though) #(i'll have to get used to that for sure)

[scoliosisgoblin]

doodles and some lore. I'm tired.

#Jay does this thing on second dates where he tests the other person #he wants to make sure they'd like all of him. every part of him that may throw others off or realize he's insane #Matt and Jay were friends during high school. dated in college and broke up just before finding out Jay was pregnant #they decided to co-parent Mona and just view one another as friends #Mona really likes Don and Tk. loves Peter. though dislikes Lucy quite a bit because of how much she hears Jay complain about her with Matt #Mona is very close with Jay despite living with Matt and only coming over to Jay during the holidays/some weekends #Jay moved into the complex about a year prior to meeting Peter. he's had 5 roommates since moving in #Lucy has been the worst compared to the rest but is the only one Jay tolerates (since she's young and reminds him of himself. pretransition #Jay and Don hated each other in the beginning. only really bonded over talking shit about a neighbor #and Jay saying “anyway I gotta finish watching the game.” Don saying how he wanted to too but his tv is fucked so they watch together #Tk does have feelings for Jay but Jay just can't take the hint. he simply just thinks he's making jokes and is very kind #Jay really cares about Lucy. he often checks up on her when she's out and buys her dinner if he didn't make anything for them #and she ofc tries to make his life easier by cleaning the apartment making him coffee in the mornings etc etc #also Jay and Don sometimes just talk about marriage. how both of theirs didn't work out (I headcanon that for Don) #how it'd go - Don: I just wish I showed her how much I cared... Jay: I chased mine down with a knife. didn't kill her though. I promise. #Jay also calls Don's kid (the cop) Don Jr. he doesn't mind it that much. it's mainly cause Jay never remembers his name #my art #yb peter #Yb don #Void #Jay #Yb tk #Yb lucy #none of them die btw. Peter kills some guy who treated Jay poorly #the entirety of Jay and Peter's relationship before the abduction takes place over June #I say so cause it was a bit alarming to Tk. Don and Matt how fast Jay was rushing into the relationship and such #anyway uhh idk what else to say

[rollforjackass]

i truly and honestly believe that it would have been much funnier if snw had spock just. 100% miss out on anything crazy that happened. time travel shenanigans? he was in the lab. ship invaded? meditating. gets split into two separate versions of himself? no wonder reports were getting done twice as fast!

man has the most normal and boring starship tour of his life up until the events of the cage happen, remains totally unimpressed with humans and the federation in general, and then hops aboard with kirk and experiences the most batshit five years of his whole life

#of course he still considers pike a father figure #but that's because pike always checks up on him after something suitably bugnuts has gone down #(partially to see if he's okay and also just to see if he even noticed) #spock of course having no idea that anything happened at all: 'wow he genuinely likes me! and cares about me!' #'i'm sure no one almost died :)' #meanwhile the rest of the crew is shaking as they pour their morning coffees bc mirror sam kirk tried to blow up the universe or something #and spock's like 'that was a fascinating treatise you wrote on interdimensional diplomacy uhura :) if only it were plausible' #uhura: buster if you don't get your fancy lyre and play me a soothing little ditty right now i will end your career #idk i think it would be VERY funny if he just had the most normal time before he met kirk and that's when it all fell apart #also we'd get more episodes to focus on the characters we've never actually gotten any material for. what a concept #(i love spock but he's had Movies about his life by now. give me la'an in the roaring 20s i dare you) #star trek #strange new worlds #spock #oxly hollers

[harboretum]

Drew my spouse’s babygirls in socks

#the concern #Vernon Lanercost #Ciro Definitelastname #I don't. really have an explanation other than I have been aggressively tired lately lol #happy new year #also Ciro is one of the vampires in the vampire town in my campaign #invented by my spouse because they decided vernon needed a boyfriend lol #he is a sculptor and makes really good turkish coffee and has nine cats #he's also the vampire representative in the town who works with the human mayor to make sure the vampires in town are properly considered #and was dating vernon in secret because vernon was the head of a vampire-hunting family and as such was specifically banned from the town #a series of circumstances caused vernon to accidentally become a vampire and fake his death though so now he's retired and living with ciro #and is now living his best life because he gets to see plot stuff and be like ''oh :) that's no longer my problem :) have fun though :)'' #and have dinner with his beautiful boyfriend in their lovely home

[hauntedhokage]

Takuma Ino I’m thinking about youuuu

#that’s a man who cannot talk to girls #and for sure crushes on a barista but tries to keep his distance bc she’s not a sorcerer and he doesn’t want to drag her in #but she’s so sweet and remembers his name and his order (even Nanami’s too) #and his mentor knows a love struck idiot when he sees one and just wants Ino to enjoy being young #but Ino can’t talk to her about anything besides coffee without getting flustered

[rotisseries]

i can see people being insane about that one post so lemme just say:

narines coffeeshop au

nate is in charge of getting coffee for everyone (lilla, gi, loki, nareen etc. the of brotherhood basically), he's been in line for 5 minutes and is running on fumes when this PRISSY ASSHOLE just CUTS IN LINE like hes king of the fucking world and hes not even that sorry about it

hold on i was in the middle of typing that ojt and i got visions of nate giving himself a papercut just to drop blood in rin's coffee to "ruin it" and rin acting all disgusted and appalled and storming off but then the second he's around the corner he sort of guiltily takes a sip. just to see. just to have that. and then is so overcome by shame he just throws the coffee at a wall and runs away

this is so true rin would have his blood coffee and he'd enjoy it but he'd feel so much shame about that too. has to start taking iron pills but it's not the same

#this keeps happening and they keep toeing the line between getting BANNED #because there is literally a psychosexual fight about to happen. in this coffeeshop #nate saw him drink the blood coffee too I'm sure. so. #wait this gets funnier if we imagine nate as a barista and rin has pissed him off still and he still gives himself the papercut #man will get fired for healthcode violations but anything to be Insane. #anyway truly love this cause they both WOULD keep going to the same coffeeshop on purpose but they still hate each other #not fanfiction coy teehee they annoy me and I'm abrasive #nope full burning sincere blinding hatred. so much hatred they have to keep meeting each other to communicate how much hatred #and then they'll fuck anyway. cause they're sick in the head #ask #ahurumustdie #hi theo!

[larrylimericks]

14Aug22

Lou hyped up the Lokeren crowd While letting his ancestors down; Who’s gonna tell him— A one-sixteenth Belgian— That Brussels is one hour south?

#larry #louis #louis tomlinson #lokerse feesten #lou headlined the festival in lokeren #not brussels #which he proceeded to shout a dozen times #no new songs were played #two of us and changes and beautiful war were cut from his usual LT tour set #we love louis and harry making sure festival-going locals can appreciate the 1D classics #speaking of ... his husband is now being sighted #like clockwork #there's a wedding photo ('recently' in the hamptons but who tf knows) #an old manry golfing photo #and a photo from behind of him in a coffee shop in nyc #which perfectly showcases that he is wearing a shirt for a formula 1 driver #harry's never publicly shown interest in formula 1 #but i know someone else who's all about it #there's a sun article about the 'leaks' #and if you weren't sure before that they're planned you can be now #cites all along as louis' most intimate song ever #but makes sure we know it's about megirlfriend eleanor #a 'source' says there's an investigation to suss it out #lots of fake damage control for the fake damage #limerick-lt #aug 14 #2022

[rogersstevie]

i rmr in cacw time when people went on about how pissed peggy would've been if she'd known about steve/sharon but it was not in a "yeah it's fucked up how she thinks she has a claim on him" way but in a "that's the reason this relationship is wrong" way which btw steve liked sharon long before he knew she was related to peggy like you can talk about how the writers view sharon as a stand-in for peggy but steve absolutely does not lol like it's absolutely fair to stay steve/sharon is icky and makes us uncomfortable but it's like peggy was an old woman who had long since been married with children even if she HAD once had a claim on steve (which she did not, he was not hers and she was not his) that would no longer matter in any way seventy years later lmao and if she had been alive to see it and been angry that would've been bullshit

#anti steggy #also people conveniently forget she told him she wanted him to live his life and right after that he asked sharon for coffee #like yeah might she have felt differently to know he moved on with her niece? sure #but her hypothetical anger is not a reason for steve and sharon to not become a thing #also just funny considering the fandom narrative like OH so perfect peggy wouldn't give two people she's supposed to love most her blessing #imagine that

[funny-bat-fruitloop]

I'm making a Vlad/Reader for the depraved, except I'm doing this to practice realistic relationships while keeping the humor and dialogue as close to canon as possible. . Chapter 1 has been released, I'm planning to add more. posting fanfic here as well.

---------------------------------------------------------

You were the outsider of your college group. Maddie studied biochemistry, her and Jack both studied mechanical engineering together, Vlad studied both alongside Maddie, and you? You simply studied computer science.

Sure, you later studied robotics and delved more into artificial intelligence, but at the time you were falling behind the trio. What makes matters worse is that you were in love with Vlad. He was too busy being in love with Maddie. Maddie and Jack were too busy with their Science.

You used to be closer during your first years. Then you drifted apart from the group.

Or the group drifted apart from you. But you phrased it the other way to feel better about yourself.

At least Maddie was nice. But it turned out that Maddie had a crush on you. You softly turned her down and told her you did not swing that way. She understood, and Vlad was elated that she stopped focusing on you.

She was surprisingly supportive, though, so she starts being more casual with her physical affections—she leaned against you and gave you hugs, at most, but never kisses of any type. Vlad glared at you every time.

You couldn’t handle Vlad’s glare towards you. You just couldn’t. You were so madly in love with him.

This wasn’t what you wanted for college. You wanted to thrive with less drama, not thrive in the drama of a love square. So you decided to turn it into a love triangle.

How? With distance.

You start making excuses about why you couldn’t hang out with them anymore. Maddie seemed pretty sad that you were becoming distant, and urged you to hang out with them more. Jack gave you puppy eyes, because it turns out that he enjoyed your dry wit and casual gifts—both clothing and food that you made.

Vlad looked...conflicted. As if as he did not know what to do with the slowly growing empty space. Every look he gave you after the start of you leaving seemed like he was having conflicts inside his mind.

But he did nothing. So you continued on with your life.

That was the start of your isolation.

You were pretty depressed now that you did not have anyone to accompany you. For the first few months of your departure from the group, people did not bother to include you in their friend groups due to your relationship with the “resident weirdos”.

You got into a robotics class and was forced to group with 2 other nerds, Gabin and Feen. It turns out, they were gay too. Dating, even.

Then the three of you started becoming closer in a platonic way. You were included in every conversation, arguments, and acted as a mediator for their spats which end up being resolved amongst the three of you.

Until the couple mutually broke up. You were devastated at the news, but it turns out all three of you were better as friends. Gabin turned out to be Bi and married a tall country Bisexual girl, and Feen turned out to be poly and married a few other people.

Even when the friend group grew larger, the three of you kept each other on your toes as you challenged each other to make robots. At some point, you made a lion-sized guard dog that read any sort of unique identification, like a treasured object, and chased intruders out of your home.

You gave this machine to a marketing professor as a joke. It ended up saving his life, which you did not intend to do at all (the machine dog was purposefully made with weak scraps for a chance for the victim to escape, in case it went haywire.) He was so grateful that he got you hired into a major tech company—Wayne Enterprises.

You got an award for it. Something close to a Nobel Prize. You’re pretty sure you were dragged out of the house with a blindfold, and were dropped onto the stage to receive the award. Or maybe you had too much coffee and dissociated the entire time.

Who knows. Photos of you taking your award in smudged eyeliner with a baffled expression became viral years down the line.

Gabin’s girlfriend also went out of the way to teach you “spellcraft”, which you thought was cool. She said that she could sense your “powerful bloodline”, and you entertained her by learning the basics.

You thought it was fun. Until a forced family reunion made you realize that Gabin’s girlfriend was absolutely not joking. Not fun.

Then it was your last year of college. You were forced to take a semester off due to the consequences of that disastrous family reunion. That year, you were having the time of your life while suffering with your thesis and OJT’s.

You almost missed the news of Vlad’s unfortunate accident. When you heard about what happened, your heart dropped to your feet.

Yes, you were trying to get over Vlad, but he did not deserve to almost die. You tried to visit him in the hospital but the nurses pushed you away. He needed something, anything, even if it is just to cheer him up.

You left some tupperware full of menudo and coconut milk pumpkin soup for the nurses to feed him. Nobody bothered to tell you that he left the hospital. He probably did not know that you cooked a large meal for him.

So you continued on with your life. You tried to reach Vlad a few times when you saw him back on the campus hallways, but he seemed too focused on...something. You did not want to bother him.

Life went on, and you managed to graduate in time. For your next couple of years, you worked as a robotics engineer for some more companies. Then you started a company with your friends several years down the line. You sold some patents, kept some patents, and you lived a comfortable life with enough money to support yourself, your needs, and your leisures.

You never got into a relationship, because you never tried. You were too afraid to be hurt.

Vlad Masters simply became Masters. He swindled, scammed, and stole with his newfound powers to become a billionaire. He’s seen some of your inventions sometimes, but what you made never really interested him.

Or rather, he was still conflicted at the thought of you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were dared by one of your socialite friends to post photos of your outfit before your flight to Illinois, and announce your arrival on your barely active social media. You’ve always loved the gothic aesthetic and mastered your outfits throughout the years—though you slowly shifted your outfits to be more modern while retaining the aesthetic.

For some god damned reason, you got a somewhat larger following than you thought—more than 10,000 people were interested in your life. You mostly posted your projects, but your outfits got more attention.

The youth kept calling you “DILF” along with other unholy comments, no matter how much you tried to discourage them. They seemed to flock to your socmed ever since that photo of you receiving your awards became viral. They also kept calling you “pookie bear”, whatever that meant.

You tried to restrict comments, but a few of your friends kept disabling the restrictions. They enjoyed your suffering.

You were beyond your 40’s, sipping a cappuccino as you left the airport while holding your luggage in the other hand. Suddenly, a notification popped up in your phone. The sound from your phone indicated that it was a text message, and not another weird ass comment that required you to say “aren’t you disappointing your parents with these DILF comments?”

Your leg hooked around your luggage as you pick your phone up from your pants with one hand. It’s a message from...Jack Fenton?

0xxx-xxxx-xxxx: Hey Bucko! Remember me? Jack Fenton? Heard you were in Illinois! Do you mind meeting at our place in Amity Park and meet Maddie and I like old times? :-D

Oh shit. It’s your old college friends.

You cringed a little as you remembered the way you ghosted the first two people who were decent towards you. Sure, you had your reasons, but it wasn’t fair to them. You checked the rest of your schedule on your phone and find that you still have free time to spare. A quick google search about the town, and you found that your convention is just at the town next to Amity.

So you made your decision and decided to make this up, let bygones be bygones.

You: Sure! Give me the address and I’ll meet you there!

#danny phantom #reader x vlad masters #reader x character #one sided reader x maddie fenton #one sided reader x vlad masters #adult reader #x male reader #reader has magic #bamf reader #bamf maddie fenton #gay reader #the reader is also a dumbass who drinks way too much coffee sometimes #he becomes well-adjusted thanks to therapy #eventual vlad masters redemption #slow burn #will you make him better? or will he make you worse #vlad plasmius #i made sure that the only physical trait that the reader has is his facial hair and maybe graying hair #he's also gnc and wears gothic clothing #you KNOW that Sam will immediately love this dude's vibes #also reader slowly becomes internet famous through unintentional means #in the most comedic ways possible #he slept with eyeliner on and was awarded while wearing it smudged #his awards photo got viral. the netizens find his account. hes now being called a DILF #dw he addresses it properly in the future

[sailforvalinor]

Oh in other news I think I got a passable grade in Date(?), something that is normal to want and possible to achieve

#I was up until 5 am last night I was so anxious about this I’VE HAD A TUMMY ACHE FOR FOUR DAYS #still don’t know if it was a date but I think I��m okay with that #he got a flat tire on the way there and was late but that was fine #we got coffee (in my case tea) and just talked movies and video games and other nerdy stuff for an hour and a half #wow can that boy TALK. 😂😂😂 #but I of course started panicking on the way home that I’m not sure if I actually like him or if I’m just excited that I found someone of #the male species that is easy to talk to other than my dad and brothers #(or worse that I want a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend 💀) #my parents are telling me not to worry so much and that I don’t need to know right now it’s too soon but like. hfjfhdhshshs #if nothing else it was a low-pressure first date and I didn’t die #oh also while I was talking to him this lovely older gentleman was standing in line just behind his chair and he gave him bunny ears and #grinned at me. delightful #I’d like to think maybe that was God telling me not to take this so seriously but I don’t like to read signs into things

[sirpepperston]

guys my boyfriend walked to my house after his dr appointment this afternoon cause its less than a mile away and. well its been raining off and on this week but not all that hard so i didnt think much about him walking in the rain bc he did the other day and it was only sprinkling and he was wearing the hat he normally wears. well. today it was raining pretty steadily the whole time he walked over here which was like 30 minutes because the crosswalk lights take forever to wait for(one of them i legit waited over 5 minutes for. like i hit the button while head like a hole started playing and the song was over when the pedestrian light went on). and he did not wear his hat today. so when i opened the door and saw him on the porch 😭😭😭 my poor sopping wet beast....i felt SO baddddd he was soaked ohhhh....he said he didnt mind the rain he was just cold but MAN. poor guy

#i made him coffee and toast while he hung his coat and socks up to dry #and he was in a good mood once he saw me so it wasnt awful but i just felt so bad lmao #to be fair i started my period today so ive been stuck in an incredibly emotional state for the past few days #if i hadn't smoked a little i wouldve been screaming crying tearing my hair out. okay probably not but i wouldve teared up for sure #agh love him so much but if i had known it was that bad and he didnt have a hat i wouldve made him wait somewhere #so i could bring an umbrella over to him and we couldve walked back together. but hes okay so im not worried about it #just hope he doesnt get sick

[witch-hazels-musings]

I loooooooove the way you write Diluc. I read all of your fics time and time again, they give me so much comfort :) thank you hazel!

I'm glad you like him, writing for him means so much to me. I always second guess myself when I write for any of the characters and hope they come across as if you were seeing them in the game itself.

The stories bring me comfort when I write them too. So for them to reach you, I am very glad (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

#hazelmail #coffee elixir #post elixir #thank you for the love #i think im hardest on myself when it comes to diluc #i know there are times when i dont get him right - or i feel hes a bit off - but i try to work it till its right #its also why certain ideas cant be forced #my last one for instance - diluc wouldnt just sleep next to us #especially if he wasnt dating us #so i had to find a way for him to provide some comfort while also being respectful and within his comfort zone #its a fine balance for sure #one i walk very closely