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alcalavicci · 3 years

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So there’s a really interesting interview with Deborah Pratt here. If you don’t want to pay for it, I’ll paste what I can below, but a few points first.

Deborah says she doesn’t know where Dean is, and says she misses him. I guess she hasn’t had contact with him since he left for NZ? And with Russ Tamblyn saying Dean’s hanging in there in answer to a recent Twitter question, that brings up more questions about his condition.

Deborah claims she came up with the idea of Quantum Leap, which I’ve never seen come up before. Also Don wanted to send Sam home?? I feel like she’s misremembering a lot of details/making herself seem better than she is.

“Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished… He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time tht his next leap will be the leap home…”

The premise of Quantum Leap succinctly and empathetically explained by a voice that spoke to viewers week to week, setting the scene at the opening of the episode. It is a voice that left an indelible print on the show, from its inception to its finale. This is the voice of its Head Writer. No, not Donald P. Bellisario, but a woman of color who was leaps ahead of her time – co-executive producer and uncredited co-creator, Deborah M. Pratt.

Deborah wrote or co-wrote 40 episodes of this sci-fi gem and her authorship of the show runs deep through its five seasons. Aside from the opening narration, Deborah is audible as the voice of Admiral Al Calavicci’s pocket computer, Ziggy. She also guest stars in the episode ‘A Portrait for Troian’ (S2, Ep11) as a grieving widow who hears the voice of her husband calling her.

Deeper still, Quantum Leap was a family affair. It was co-created with her husband at the time, Bellisario, and their daughter, also named Troian, appears as a little girl in ‘Another Mother’ (S2, Ep13, who can not only see Al, but also sees Sam as he really is, rather than as her recently divorced mom.

Prior to helming Quantum Leap, Deborah rose through the ranks as an actress, racing the screen in Happy Days, CHiPS, The Dean Martin Show and many more, and was also a writer on shows such as Airwolf and Magnum P.I. She is a five-time Emmy nominee, Golden Globe nominee and winner of countless other awards. She went on to produce CBS comedy cop show, Tequila and Bonetti, and then to co-create and produce the TV series adaptation of Sandra Bullock tech thriller, The Net. But Quantum Leap was Deborah’s brainchild – one which is emblazoned on the hearts of its faithful fans.

Deborah has since moved into directing, including on hit show Grey’s Anatomy (2020), but was generous with her time when spoke in late 2020 to leap back into the past.

It does seem that you were really ahead of your time as a female head writer and a showrunner in the ’90s, especially in science fiction TV. Was it hard for you to progress and to get Quantum Leap made?

“Usually women were relegated to comedy, very rarely was it drama or heavy drama. It’s changed, finally, with people like Shonda Rhimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Bridgerton, Scandal). But yes, I was a true pioneer, even though I don’t have a ‘created by’ credit, it was a ‘co-created by’ show – with Don. I brought him the original concept, and we were married, and he said ‘Let me just run with this. I can get it made.’ And to his credit, he understands how to tell a story to the audience. He simplified it in a way that you could welcome Quantum Leap into the world. But it was still a tough show to sell.

“I think we went back three times to pitch it to the network. It was complicated to explain. Brandon Tartikoff [the executive] said ‘It’s a great idea – It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen on TV. Let me think about it.’ Then he asked us to come back, ‘I want you to pitch it to me like I’m six years old, then pitch it to me like I’m 80 years old’ and finally he took it. Then even after the show first aired, they decided to introduce that opening where I tell the story. That was created to explain every week to a new viewer what was going on and it worked really well.”

On rewatch now, the best part of three decades later, the show feels groundbreaking in terms of the subjects you cover. Did you feel like you were pushing the envelope?

“I feel we got to do so much on that show. I remember when I did ‘Black on White on Fire’ [S3, Ep7], the networks in the South in the United States wouldn’t air it because it was a black/white relationship. Even though there is no scene where you see a black person and a white person being intimate.

You saw Sam, who was white, and the girl who was white, but because he was playing someone who was black, it was an issue. They wouldn’t air the show in the South. This was around 1992.

“It was challenging for sure. I think we pushed the limits.

“The beauty of the show too, was that it was about hope, which I see so little of on television today. Everything’s so dark, so mean, so vicious, bloody – how many people can you kill? How mean can you make your lead characters and antiheroes. I think it’s why I didn’t work as much afterwards. A) I was a woman, and B) a black woman. There weren’t any black female executive producers that I knew of in drama. I got to do The Net because it had a female lead, but that was almost ten years after Quantum Leap was created. Any show I brought in that had a black lead was never bought, or a female lead, was never bought.

“I remember I wrote a big action piece – like an Indiana Jones, but female-driven, feature film – and pitched it and the studio executive said, ‘Yeah, yeah, but when did the guy come and rescue her?’ And I said, ‘She doesn’t – she rescues him.’ The look on his face. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.”

The show darted around TV schedules, but the fans remained with it, and still to this day hold it dear to their hearts. Was that palpable at the time, or has that grown since?

“I think near the end of the first season, Harriet Margulies [Production Assistant on the show] found a chat room after an episode where people from across the country talked about it and it became the ‘watercooler.’ We were the first television show that had a chat room as a watercooler. Before that, it was literally you going into your office and standing around the watercooler and talking about movies or TV shows you were watching. Suddenly, it was online. So we started to go into the chat room and talk to people about what they liked and what they didn’t. Not necessarily telling them who we were, but that fan base is what kept us on the air because the network didn’t know what to do with us. There was no show like it, so they couldn’t like pair us with anybody.

“In the five years we were on, I think they moved the show six times and the fans still found it, they followed it, they watched it. That’s how we knew we had something unique and special. To this day, I’ll go into a meeting with a young executive who’ll go, ‘I have to tell you, I loved Quantum Leap. I used to watch it with my mom and dad’.”

Scott Bakula was such a great hero and heartthrob as Dr. Sam. What was he like to work with?

“He was so approachable, you know, in the sense that he had this great, easy acting style. He took chances and he was likeable – in a way that he could be a man’s man and a woman��s man at the same time. He’s really a brilliant actor. I am saddened by the fact that he has not had the opportunity to do movies in the way that could really have lifted his career. He’s had an incredibly successful television career. He’s a good actor. He’s a kind man. I’ve always admired him and felt like when we were working together, I had a friend that I loved to write for because he was always so giving and willing and wanting to take chances as an actor. So it was fun to go down to the trailer and say, ‘Guess what? You’re going to be pregnant this week’.

He does everything in the show from sing and dance to baseball, football, hopping over car bonnets to fights and martial arts. Did you know he had such a wide skill set from the outset, or did you write the challenges for him to rise to?

“I think we had conversations with him about that. I also knew that he had been on Broadway doing musicals. I knew he could sing and dance. When I wrote ‘Sea Bride’ [S2, Ep20], I wrote a tango number – that was unique for him. When Don knew that he could play the guitar… We asked Scott, ‘What do you want to do?’ And he said he wanted to do a musical and I think that’s how the ‘Catch a Falling Star’ episode [S2, Ep10] came about, which involves a performance of ‘Man of LaMancha’.”

Admiral Al Calavicci – he’s so much more than wisecracking and surface jokes or flirtation. There’s so much depth to his character. Was that fleshed out early on with an end to end journey for him in mind, or did his character evolve through the seasons?

“It was a little bit of both. Dean Stockwell had been on Broadway at five-years-old and had been a major child movie star. I remember when we wrote the show where Sam had the chance to save Al – ‘The Leap B4, Ep1] – he was so good in that. I’ll never forget how beautiful that was. And then in the very, very end, I love the fact that Sam did change history and Al ended up wih his beautiful wife with five kids.

“I remember once asking Dean, ‘Do you want us to write more drama for you? Big dramatic moments?’ And he said, ‘I want you to look at me right now. I want you to tell me what you see.’ And I said, ‘Well, your performance, the pain, fear and loss and all that, because you’re such an incredible actor.’ And he said ‘For me to perform that, I have to be it and live it. So don’t do too many.’

“He had that depth of acting talent. He is so good – Dean, wherever you are, I love you. I miss you.”

The episodes that follow later in the seasons involving celebrities – Sam as Elvis, Dr. Ruth, or Lee Harvey Oswald, was that kind of a direction that you always foresaw? It feels like a sea change as the show progressed.

“The stories were designed, for the most part, to be so, so simple in that they were everyday stories. They weren’t change-the-world stories. I think the biggest one was Lee Harvey Oswald, and maybe the one involving Marilyn Monroe – those were with people that could have had a ripple effect.

“But there were other little kisses with history in the show, but they were very hard to do. They ran into a child version of Donald Trump in a taxi cab, [‘It’s A Wonderful Leap’ – S4, Ep18], then they ran into a little boy who is supposed to be Michael Jackson – Sam teaches him to moonwalk [‘Camikazi Kid’ – S1, Ep8]. The first time I did a kiss with history was ‘Star-Crossed’ [S1, Ep3] – Sam meets up with the woman that left him at the altar and they’re at the Watergate Hotel. That was fun stuff.”

Sam managed to awkwardly kiss lots of ladies in that sense of ‘Oh God, they’re going to kiss me and I’ve got to be this person, what am I supposed to do.’

“We never, ever really discussed what happened to Sam. We didn’t want him to be encumbered by a relationship. But I didn’t get to kiss him. My husband wouldn’t leave the set on the episode I was in!”

Your move into directing – from your TV drama Cora Unashamed back in 2000, to Grey’s Anatomy just last year. Is that something you wanted to do sooner? Were there barriers prohibiting you?

“I was supposed to direct on Quantum Leap four times. Every time it was coming up, something would happen. The only women who directed on the show were two black women – Debi Allen [Fame, Everybody Hate Chris, Jane the Virgin] and the other was a woman named Anita Addison. They each did two shows.

I said, ‘If I’m not doing this, I want black women.’ There were no other black women. And it was a fight. I tried to get black women directors on the show, but I could never get them past.

Then when I went to do The Net, the studio blocked it. I give huge amounts of credit for executive producing to Shonda Rhimes and what she has been able to do. She did what I thought I was going to be able to do. She’s so talented and I’m such a fan of her and her shows. I’m looking forward to what she’s going to do on Netflix. And it was an honour to do Grey’s Anatomy because I’m a fan of the show and I’m really grateful to have that opportunity.”

Has there been progress in terms of female directors and filmmakers being given opportunities?

“It’s very hard for women because there aren’t a lot of women executives at the studios. There are more now. And so there is an evolution that’s happening, but it still feels slow. There were shows run by people I gave opportunities to back in the day, but when I said, “hey, I want to direct on your show,” the response was, “oh, there’s too much machismo. There’s too many male hormones around here. They’ll eat you alive.” And I went, “no, they won’t, you’ll protect me. How about if I do my job?” And that was only last year. But there are more opportunities. There are more women making decisions, but we have to do more because women’s stories and women’s voices are more than half the population – we need to hear those stories. The historic ones as well as the contemporary ones.”

Is there a leap that was your favourite overall? That you feel made you made your mark with?

“’The Color of Truth’ [S1, Ep7] touched so many people and it opened a dialogue. I remember we got a letter from a teacher who said she brought the VHS in and she played it to her class, up until Jesse [Sam as an ageing black chauffeur in ’50s Deep South] goes and sits down at the counter in the restaurant. Then she stopped it and asked the students what they thought happened next. They thought that he just ordered lunch. And then she played the rest and that hostility and the animosity he endures and the fact that he had to get up and leave really incensed these children. They had never heard of or experienced racism. They didn’t want to believe that it really happened. This is how history gets buried and why television is so powerful and important. It opened a conversation that she could not have necessarily had in her classroom, according to her, had she not brought that show in to share with her students.

“We had another letter that was very moving, and I want to say it might’ve been ‘The Leap Home’ [S2, Ep1-2]. There was a couple who wrote and said they had a child that was on a cancer ward and every Thursday the whole ward would watch Quantum Leap. Their child was dying and they had kind of given up and it was just time to help that child transition out of this world. They watched the show and she said, ‘We realized we gave up hope. When we watched the show, we realized we didn’t have to give up hope and we wanted to write to you. It’s now six months later and the crisis has passed. The cancer is in remission. Our child is up and going back to school. And we just want to thank you for reminding us that hope has its own power’.”

Its power and poignancy has never diminished. Though the final episode, ‘Mirror Image’ (S5, Ep22), with the caption saying Sam doesn’t get to go home, does leave a sucker punch.

“That was our last fight. Don was going to send him home. And I said, ‘You can’t, you can’t send him home. If you ever, ever, which we’ve not ever been able to get Universal to let us do it, want to do a movie… If you want to keep the story going, you have to leave Sam out there in the hearts of people, leaving people thinking he could leap into their lives’. And at first Don said, ‘No, no, we need to bring him home’. And I said, ‘Do not bring him home. Or you will end the show. If you leave the hope out there, that Sam is out there and he could leap into your life and make a difference’. You keep the show alive in the hearts and the minds of the fans. And I think I was right.”

The ending was poetic for me as a viewer, but your point about Sam still being out there – Is there a leap back to the future for Quantum Leap?

“I started writing a project called Time Child about Sammy Jo Fuller. I actually wrote a trilogy in Season 5 where Sam leapt back three times into the same family and the second time he leapt he ended up in bed with this character and conceived a child. Then the third time he leapt in, he met her at 10 years old – a girl named Sammy Jo Fuller. So in my vision, Sammy Jo Fuller grows up. I actually have Al say, ‘Sammy is in the future with me. We’re trying to bring you home.’ That was my set-up way back in 1993, in Season 5, to say someday, Sammy Jo being his daughter might take over….

“This was the ’90s. Women heroes didn’t exist really – other than comic books – Wonder Woman was there, Super Girl was there. But I set it up in the show that Sammy Jo was going to bring him home. Sadly, I have not been able to get Don and the studio to give me the green light for Time Child. It might happen someday.”

Right now, it feels like we need more shows that offer hope. Is there a place for a reboot on streaming platforms?

“Universal keep saying they want to bring it back. They’re not going to give it up to Netflix because they have [US streaming service] Peacock now and still have NBC. I personally think it should be on a full blown network. The hard part would be that it would have to be recast if there was a female version using my character Sammy Jo Fuller. Or if they just redid the show, it would be interesting in the sense that there was such an innocence about the show. I still believe that there is an audience out there that wants it, that longs for looking at the past through the eyes of somebody in the present. But who would that person be if you did the show now, what are those eyes like?

“We’re living in the time of COVID and suddenly you go back in time. How do you warn people that this is going to happen? How do you warn people about 9/11? How do you warn people about things in the future?

“I mean, one of the beauties of that innocence too, and I thought that was a great gift from Don to the concept, was that Sam’s memory as Swiss cheese – he didn’t remember things and that made it a lot easier, and Al was not allowed to tell him what was happening in the present. There’s a lot of detail woven into the mythology that allowed it to be innocent and in the moment of time travel. You didn’t have to drag the future back with you.”

Do you have an actress in mind to play Sammy Jo in a reboot?

“Oh my gosh, Jennifer Garner. I always felt she would be a great female Sam. She’s an ‘every woman.’ She’s funny. She does great drama. When I think of a female Sam or even Sammy Jo, I think Jennifer – in a heartbeat. She’s so great in Alias. That show just never stopped. You couldn’t take a breath. If I had to go younger, somebody that would have that kind of believable humour that you think could actually rescue you – maybe Jennifer Lawrence. She’s pretty formidable in that sense.”

“To bring Quantum Leap back. If they’re thinking about it, now’s the time to happen. Tell people to write to Universal! Write for the attention of Pearlena Igbokwe – if anyone can bring it back, she can do it. Write! Write to Pearlena – she’s the one that’ll make it happen. That’s how we stayed on the air for five and a half years. Fans unite and write!”

#quantum leap #article

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bellemorte180 · 4 years

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Wanderlust Chapter Twelve

Caroline’s wrist was throbbing, which was handcuffed behind her back. She shifted uncomfortably in the old wooden chair she kept in the corner of her kitchen for no other purpose than to stand on it when she could not reach something. She bit back tears that were steaming from a mixture of pain and fear. She looked around the place she called her home and was trying to find some way out of it. Her eyes traveled to the kitchen floor where Rosza was still lying. She could see the rise and fall of his chest, telling her that he was still alive. She did not know exactly what had happened to him but something that would drop a man twice her size.

Caroline’s eyes traveled from Rosza to the man who was pacing back and forth in her dining room. He was running his fingers through his hair and was muttering to himself as though he was trying to find a way out of the house. It was clear that he couldn’t just take her and shove her in a car; that would be too obvious. People had been watching Caroline, both out of sympathy, worry and curiosity. If she all of a sudden was being shoved into a car, kicking and screaming, it would be noticed.

She whimpered again when the cuff on her left arm shifted the wrong way. When he had cuffed her to the chair, he had broken the cast that was on her arm, and subsequently rebreaking her wrist, in order for the cuff to fit. Not only that but the side of her face was pounding when he struck her across it when she tried to fight back. She gave a small hiss when she moved her arm the wrong way.

“Matt?” Caroline whispered, hoping to gage that boy she had known growing up. Matt had always been kind and funny. Always being that boy next door that everyone could rely on. When Elena, Caroline and Bonnie had too much to drink one night, it was Matt who came and picked them up. When Caroline had broken up with Damon, Matt had brought her flowers in the hospital. When Matt’s mother up and left him and Vicki for the thousandth time, finally never coming back, Caroline went and comforted them both. She never would have thought he would have turned into this. “Please. It hurts.”

“Does it?” Matt asked in a soft tone. It was eerie and made her skin crawl. As Matt stared back at her. His blue eyes that Caroline had once commented where so beautiful when she was thirteen stared back at her; now she found nothing redeeming about them. There was no beauty to be found, instead, only malice. “Perhaps you can consider that a punishment then.”

“Punishment? I didn’t do anything.”

“Stop lying!” Caroline winced as his voice grew louder. Matt continued to pace, clutching Caroline’s revolver in his hand. Her eyes followed the gun, terrified that Matt was going to turn it on her. Rosza ground again but Caroline could not bring herself to look at him. “I saw you! I watched you! You let him into your bed when you belonged to me! I took care of you! I kept you safe! I kept this town safe and all you want to do is leave. You all leave! He would have taken you away from here. From me. Just like everyone else! Vicki always left. April was going to leave and take our baby! Andi left me to go to that fancy school-”

“People leave, Matt. It’s a fact of life.” Rage appeared on Matt’s face and she thought he was going to strike her again, but he did not. “We were friends once. We went to homecoming together our sophomore year of high school. You came to see me when Damon put me in the hospital. When your mom left that final time, we had you over for dinner and you slept on our couch.”

“And? You still left me.”

“We grew apart. It happens.” Matt continued to stare at her, and Caroline had trouble reading him as he showed no emotion. “People change Matt. We grow up and sometimes people leave. Not everyone is going to stay in Mystic Falls forever.”

“No one can leave!” Matt hissed out with clenched teeth; waving the gun around and Caroline froze in terror that it would go off. This was not how she wanted to die; she had always imagined dying in her home, old and grey with a husband, children and grandchildren surrounding her. She always thought that she would travel the world, fall in love and be able to show her children every inch of the globe. She never thought she would die before she got the chance. This was the second time in mere weeks that she thought she was going to die; and if she did, she was not about to go down without a fight. “You’re mine and you want to leave me! You all want to leave me! Just like her!”

“I’m not a possession Matt. You don’t own me, just like you didn’t own them either.” Caroline told him but immediately regretted her words. Matt marched over to her, holding her pistol by the barrel and swung it towards her face; hitting her with the butt of the gun.

“Shut up!” Matt screamed again and immediately saw the damage he had done. As though he was horrified by what he had done, Matt knelt down beside her and touched her face. He caressed the placed where he had hit her as though he felt remorse for his actions. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just stressed. I need to get us out of here before they come looking for you.”

“You don’t want to hurt me?” Caroline’s voice was small, and Matt shook his head. For a moment, she could see the old quarterback who won football games and was the town golden boy. Matt loved Mystic Falls and always said he never wanted to leave; Caroline wondered why she had not seen it sooner. She then remembered how he would hold her when he locked her in that cell; begging her not to leave him. She remembered the notes and his taunts; showing her that he was watching her. That was the man in front of her, completely derailing into his mania. “Is that what you told them? That you didn’t want to hurt them?”

“I never hurt them.”

“They are dead Matt. You killed them”

“I kept them safe!” Matt retorted through clenched teeth; his saliva spraying on Caroline’s face due to how close he was to her. Caroline felt her body freeze, scared that at any moment, Matt was going to reach out and end her life. “I gave them a home. Someplace where they would never leave me, and I kept them close.” A fresh new wave of anger washed over him and he stood from her; resuming the frantic pacing he was doing only moment before. “And then they took them from me! It was only fitting that I take something of his. I thought he would listen. I thought he would leave but no, he is going to take you too. You fucked the man who took my girls from me! But I won’t let him take you too.”

“You killed his best friend.”

“He was scum! He wanted to ruin our town.”

“No Matt. I think you’re doing that enough as it is.” Enraged at the thought of being accused of something, in his mind, was so heinous that Caroline thought this would be the final blow. She saw something evil pass through Matt and that young boy who once was every girls’, and some boys’, crush was gone. He stormed over to Caroline, tossed the gun on the kitchen counter and raised his hands; poisoned them to wrap around her neck. This was it; this was how Caroline was going to die, strangled by someone she once had considered a friend.

Until…

“Matthew Donovan.” A loud booming voice sounded from outside Caroline’s house. Matt snapped back from her as though he had been burned. His eyes darted around as though the owner of the voice would appear before him. “My name is Vincent Griffith. Let Ms. Forbes and Agent Rosza go, and then the two of us can talk.”

“I thought I had more time!” Matt ran his hands through his hair and began pacing again; pulling at his blonde hair as he went. Vincent’s voice sounded again, demanding Matt to let them go, and something stirred in Caroline. Hope. While she had never met Vincent before, Caroline knew that if he was there for her, then Klaus was not too far behind.

While Caroline had always been taught that there would be times that she would need to save herself, like down in that cellar where she had thought she would spend her final moments, she was happy to know that Klaus had come for her. To know that the night they shared was meant more than a few moments of fleeting pleasure.

Caroline moved her hands around, biting back a hiss as the broken wrist rubbed against the steel dug into her broken cast. She hoped that the cuffs were not fastened properly but seeing that Matt was a cop, she found it unlikely that he would risk not tightening them enough. She really did not want to have to break her other wrist in order to free herself, but she would; she would chop her own hand off in order to save her life if she had too.

“Mr. Donovan, I need you to let them go.” Vincent’s voice boomed again.

“Shut up!”

As though she was being gifted with the answer to all life’s questions, Caroline felt her fingertips grace something hard protruding from the wooden chair. It was a small upholstery tack that was crooked ever so slightly; enough for Caroline to grip it between her thumb and pointer finger in order to maneuver it out of the wood. Her eyes stayed focused on Matt, staying quiet in order to not draw his attention and focused on pulling the tack out of the chair.

After Damon had put Caroline in the hospital when they had dated, Liz took it upon herself to teach Caroline a few tricks if she ever found herself in harm’s way again. She bought Caroline that pistol that was discarded on the kitchen counter and taught her basic self-defense moves. Liz also taught her out to get out of binds such as rope ties, zip ties and handcuffs. While Caroline knew how to pick a lock on a pair of handcuffs, down in the cellar she had nothing available to do so, thus resorting to breaking her wrist. However, that tack that slowly was coming out of the chair would work well enough for one of the cuffs to come off; she just needed one hand free.

“Why, why, why can’t they just leave us alone!?” Matt screamed, causing Caroline to flinch at his words; his tone getting louder at the last on. Caroline got the tack free and after a few attempts, was able to insert the small point into the lock of the cuff. After a few twists, she felt the steel pop open from her cast and relief coursed through her; pain ebbing away only slightly on her broken wrist. Vincent spoke again through the loudspeaker, but Caroline tuned him out, her focus solely on the task at hand.

She dropped the tack gently; barley making a sound when it hit the ground. Caroline let out a small breath and watched Matt stalk around the room. Her eyes flickered to the back door and then to the gun that was still on the counter. Caroline was a runner and as long as Matt did not have the gun in his hand, she had a chance of making it. Matt was facing her, still pulling at his hair; staring at her but not really seeing her. He was muttering to himself and she could see that he was losing all composure that he had left.

Caroline gripped the back of her chair tightly, praying that Matt did not hear the jingle of the loose cuffs behind her; she could feel her skin rubbing against the one still closed against her right wrist. She waited for the right moment and when Matt was close enough; turning his back towards her, Caroline quickly shot out of her seat, gripped the chair and swung it at Matt; hitting him hard in the back. Matt toppled to the floor and Caroline bolted towards the back door.

But she wasn’t fast enough, Matt grabbed her ankle; sending to fall to the ground. She landed on her broken wrist but with the adrenaline pumping through her veins prevented her from crying out. Caroline brought her knee to her chest on the leg that Matt was not holding and forcefully brought it down hard; her foot connecting with Matt’s face. She heard something crack and Matt yelled out, letting go of her ankle and clutching his face.

Caroline pushed herself off the floor and headed towards the back door again; throwing it open and running through it. Someone grabbed her from behind, placing his hand over her lips. At first, she started to fight but when the arms loosened gently and cradled her head to him. Caroline looked up and saw Klaus’s fearful eyes staring down at her.

“Shh.” Slowly, Klaus removed his hand from mouth when he felt her relax against him; Vincent sounding from around the house again. Caroline looked around her and saw at least a dozen agents, all with their guns drawn; ready to storm the house. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re safe.” Caroline nodded against him; her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel the adrenaline leaving her and her body slowly going numb. “This agent will take you around the house to an ambulance that is out front. Your mother is waiting for you. You’re safe now. Okay?”

“Ms. Forbes?” Caroline turned to see agent Vanchure looking at her, his tone was no lighter than a whisper. “Agent Rosza?”

“I don’t know. I think he was drugged. He is on the kitchen floor. I wasn’t going to be able to get him in time.” Caroline rambled in a soft tone and Vanchure nodded in understanding. Klaus kissed the top of her head and slowly edged her towards an agent that would take her to safety. Klaus could see the fear creep back into her eyes. He gave her a soft smile, ensuring her that he would be fine. He watched as one of the agents guided her around the house and out of sight.

Klaus pulled his gun from its holster, where he had stashed it quickly when he saw Caroline running out the door. He stole a glance at Vanchure, who was peeking through the door and nodded. He held up his fingers and counted down until there were no fingers left. Quickly, the agents, Klaus included, burst into Caroline’s kitchen.

Matt, who was now holding a pistol that Klaus recognized as Caroline’s, fired; hitting Vanchure in the shoulder. Klaus quickly darted when he heard the gun go off; diving to the floor. He landed near Rosza’s unconscious body. Klaus took his pulse, alive and then stood quickly, eyes zeroing in on Vanchure, who was clutching his shoulder but was still alive. The rest of the agents had their weapons turned on Matt. Klaus kept his gun raised, pointed at Matt and slowly walked around the counter and towards him.

“Matt, put the gun down.” Klaus told him in a firm tone, noticing the crazed look in his eye. Klaus had been around serial murders before, and they all got to a certain point when the mania took ahold, and they lose control. It was something both Klaus and Marcel had feared was happening. Matt became fixated on Caroline when she escaped, and Klaus feared that he would lose complete control; Caroline getting caught in the crossfire. “It is not going to end well for you. Put the gun down and come quietly.”

“Why should I listen to you?” Matt hissed and Klaus could see spit spray across the room; his saliva mixed with blood from his nose that was bleeding. The hatred that Matt was sending him. Klaus remembered the terrified feeling he got when he realized that Matt had gone after her. The moment he saw Enzo running down the street towards Klaus, he knew something was wrong. Matt’s home was empty and when they got the call from Vanchure, Klaus began to fear for the worst. “You stole them from me!”

“What are you talking about? Explain it to me.”

“My girls!” Matt yelled. “I had them safe and protected. You came and took them from me. I don’t know what you did with them. They are not safe with you!” He waved the gun around and Klaus knew that if he stepped closer, Matt would fire again. Vanchure moaned from the floor, pressing his hand against his wound. He would need medical attention soon and Klaus was trying to think of the safest way to get Matt to put down the gun and take him in. “They all wanted to leave, but I convinced them! I convinced them to stay.”

“Do you want to see them?” Klaus asked, knowing full well that he was not going to let Matt anywhere near those bodies; especially after what he had done to them. “I can show you. Put the gun down and I will take you to them.”

“You will?”

“I promise.” For a moment, Klaus thought he had him; thought that Matt was going put the gun down, he saw the hope in his deranged eyes but as quickly as it came, it went.

“You’re lying!” Matt hissed again. “I saw you! I saw you with her! I watched as you touched her! You come here, you take my girls and then you think you can take her? I was close to convincing her. She would have stayed but you would have taken her away. She is mine!”

“Caroline is a person Matt. She belongs to no one.”

“You had no problem taking her! Tell me, did you enjoy it? You seemed like you enjoyed taking what was mine!”

“I will not discuss my relationship with Caroline with you. Put down the gun Matt or I will not take you to see the bodies.” Matt didn’t move. “One last chance!”

“Tell me!”

Matt moved his hand ever so slightly and as though on instinct, Klaus aimed and fired. The bullet from his Glock lodged into Matt’s shoulder; causing him to drop the gun to the ground. Klaus advanced on his quickly, as did another agent. An agent pulled Vanchure to his feet, helping him out of the house while a few others went to do the same with Rosza. Klaus reached down and pulled Matt from the ground. He grabbed his handcuffs, that were hooked onto the back of his jeans, and cuffed him.

“You’re hurting me.” Matt screamed out in pain as that blood leaked down his shoulder. Klaus all but slammed Matt onto the kitchen counter as he tightened the cuffs around his wrists tighter; not caring his there was a bullet in his shoulder. “It hurts! Please! It hurts.”

“I don’t care.” Klaus hissed through clenched teeth. “Do you not think it hurt when you strangled those women? Do you not think it hurt when Caroline had to break her own wrists in order to be free from you? I honestly do not care if you’re hurting or not. You’re never going to see her again and you’re never getting near those bodies.”

“You promised.”

“You murdered my best friend. I lied.” Klaus pulled him back from the counter and tightened the cuffs once more. “Matthew Donovan, you are under arrest for the murders of Victoria Donovan, April Young, Andi Star, Camille O’Connell and Special Agent Marcel Gerard, and for the kidnapping of Caroline Forbes. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to talk to a lawyer and have him present with you while you are being questioned. If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer, one will be appointed to you.”

Klaus pulled Matt through the front door and down Caroline’s walkway. Flashing lights from the police cruisers surrounded him and Klaus could see both Vanchure and Rosza being loaded into an ambulance. He noticed that one ambulance had already left, and it did not take Klaus long to figure out why; it had taken Caroline to the hospital.

Vincent glared at Matt as Klaus was dragging him down the pathway; arms crossed, and a menacing look on his face. It was clear that Vincent held as much hatred for Matt as Klaus did. Vincent could be a hard ass when it came to his job, but he genuinely cared for the agents in his command.

“I read him his rights.” Klaus told Vincent, who simply nodded, not taking his eyes off of Matt. Vincent took a good look at him, eyeing him as though he was nothing more than the scum on the bottom of his shoe. Klaus knew that Vincent was going to monitor his trail closely as well as his time in prison.

“He shot me!” Matt hissed and Vincent’s eyes traveled to his obviously injured shoulder; not a single ounce of sympathy written on his face. “The bastard shot me!”

“And he will need a doctor.” Klaus replied lightly.

“Ride with him to the hospital. I’ll meet you there for a quick debrief.” Vincent replied and Klaus nodded, grabbing Matt and dragging him towards one of the ambulances. The EMT’s strapped him down and loaded him into the back. Klaus climbed in after them, refusing to let Matt out of his sight. Vincent climb into the back of an SUV, intending to follow the ambulance all the way to the hospital. He sat down on the side of the ambulance, watching as the EMT’s worked over Matt; sedating him due to his continued violent outbursts and refusing to allow them to wrap up his shoulder.

“My girls. I just want my girls.” Matt’s voice slurred and his eyes dropped; the sedatives taking root and drifting Matt off to sleep. Just moments before the drugs pulled Matt into a deep sleep, Klaus leaned down and whispered into his ear.

“How does it feel? How does it feel to have that control slip away from you? To know that everyone is now going to leave you?” Klaus wanted to press his thumb into the bullet wound and cause Matt as much pain as possible. This was the man who murdered four woman and mutilated their bodies. This was the man who murdered his best friend and hurt the woman he was starting to fall for. However, no amount of desire to cause him pain made him do it. There were witnesses and while Klaus is willing to bend the rules, there were some lines he was not willing to cross. “Does it hurt? I bet it hurts.”

Matt’s eyes closed and the rest of the ride passed in silence; not even EMT’s dared to speak. They knew who Matt was and what he had done. Their eyes flickered to Klaus, but he didn’t see them; he just continued to watch Matt as he drifted into nothing, the thought of him finding peace even for a short while felt bitter to Klaus. By the time the short ride to the hospital was over, Matt was completely unconscious. The EMT’s pulled Matt out of the ambulance and as Klaus followed, he saw Vincent walking towards him. Two agents that had ridden with Vincent followed the EMTs, who were rolling Matt into the hospital, while Vincent called Klaus over.

“The doctors will take it from here. Give me a brief breakdown.”

“After Caroline had freed herself and ran out the door, the agents and I went in. Matt fired, hitting Vanchure in the shoulder.” Vincent’s lips were pressed together in a thin line; displeased at the idea of two of his agents injured but said nothing on it. “I tried to talk him down; promised him access to the bodies. For a moment I had him, but he couldn’t get over my relationship with Caroline. He moved, I fired, here we are.”

“Okay. Okay. It was a good shot.” Vincent replied, ignoring the fact that Klaus and Caroline’s relationship was a key factor in why Matt was shot. “He’ll live. Once the bullet is out, we can have him transported back to the station for questions. After that, I want him shipped out to a federal prison. He’ll await trail there.”

“What about Vanchure and Rosza?” Klaus asked, knowing that Vincent would be on the phone with the ER once he got into his SUV.

“They will live. Vanchure will be on medical leave for a while, the bullet went straight through his shoulder, and Rosza will be fine once the drugs leave his system. By the sight of him, I think Mr. Donovan used the last bit of drugs on him.” Vincent replied and Klaus nodded, thinking that it was good news that his fellow agents had no long-lasting damage. “By the weeks end we will be heading back to DC. I assume that you will be driving to New Orleans?”

“Yes sir.”

“Very well.” Vincent nodded. “I’ll see you at the station in the morning to talk to Mr. Donovan. I have a feeling that come tomorrow, reporters will be hounding us. News got out that Andi Star has been murdered by a serial killer. Made national headlines an hour ago.” Klaus scowled at that. “Take the rest of the day. Get some rest.” Vincent paused and groaned as though he just remembered who he was talking to. “Please, do not tell me what you plan on doing tonight. Just…” Vincent shook his head and simply walked away.

If it wasn’t clear that Vincent was exhausted, given the stress and that this case had turned into a bureaucratic nightmare, Klaus may have laughed at his boss’s clear frustration. Instead, he just turned and walked into the hospital through the emergency room door. Klaus reflected on the last time he had walked through this very hospital. The floors were still sterile and the walls lifeless. It was freezing and the air held that chemical smell that Klaus associated with cleaning products. The emergency room was practically empty, with the exception of a few people milling about; mainly nurses and a few people filling out forms for some aliment or another. He knew the real chaos went on behind the scenes.

Klaus just wanted to see Caroline and find out if she was okay. She was strong and he knew that she would recover from this, but he hated to know that she was in pain. He just wanted her to be safe and happy; she was safe, with Matt in custody and no longer a threat but he knew she would not be happy.

Klaus reflected on how the first time in this hospital he was also seeking out Caroline; yet his intentions towards her now were vastly different. At the time, she had been nothing more than a victim that he was curious about. Those bright blue eyes from her picture would haunt him forever; just one more case. Now, Caroline was etched into his heart and it baffled him how someone could mean so much in such little time.

It wasn’t love.

Not yet.

It was far too soon for such declarations; but Klaus knew that he wanted Caroline in his life in some form. They were in different places; both having lives that needed sorted out, but he was not ready to let go of her and he could only hope that she felt the same.

“Liz!” Klaus called out and the police officer whom he had grown to admire. Liz turned her head and he could see the questions burning in her eyes. Bonnie was standing beside her looking frazzled and terrified, Klaus could blame neither of them. He looked around at could not see Caroline anywhere; his heart plummeted for a moment. “Where is Caroline?”

“In with Dr. Fell. They had to put a new cast on, but they said her wrist might have some long-lasting complications.” Liz stated as she pointed to one of the closed doors that Klaus knew led to the trauma rooms. “She is fine, but she kicked us out.”

“She said we were hoovering.” Bonnie muttered with an eye roll. Klaus resisted from smirking. Kicking her mother and Bonnie out of the hospital room does should like something Caroline would do. “We saw Matt being rolled in. What happened?”

“Tried to talk him down. Wouldn’t listen so he got shot in the shoulder.” Klaus summed up and he saw Liz scowl.

“You missed his head by a few inches.” Bonnie told him and Liz gave her an exasperated look. “What? Like you were not thinking it.” Liz didn’t reply and they all knew that Liz was on the same page. “I can’t believe it was Matt. I would have thought Tyler before him. God, even I would be more likely than Matt.”

“The thing about serial killers is that it is always those who we least expect.” Klaus told her and looked towards Liz. He could see the thousand questions circling her mind. Matt was her employee. A fellow cop. Someone she trusted and who was with her when she was searching for her daughter in those woods. He knew where she was. The hatred Liz felt for Matt could only rival what Caroline and Klaus felt for him. “He will be in the hospital and then transported back to the station tomorrow.”

“I’m staying here tonight.” Liz told them both finally. Bonnie whipped her head around, but Klaus was not surprised. “Caroline will be alright. One of you can take her back to my place. I am going to stay here and ensure nothing happens to Matt. I want to ensure he faces justice and the last thing I want is for him to find a way out of this hospital.”

“Liz-“ Bonnie was cut off by the door behind them opening and Dr. Fell strolling out. She looked tired, which did not surprise Klaus; between being a doctor and four patients coming into the hospital from the same incident would have to be exhausting.

“Caroline asked me to let you back now.” Dr. Fell gave them a kind smile. Her eyes flickered to Klaus, clearly not expecting to see him but said nothing; just nodding towards the open door. Liz was the first through the door with Bonnie and Klaus trailing behind. He never once doubted the love Liz held for her daughter but just seeing her race towards the room she was in the ER and given the fact that she wanted to watch over her daughter’s assailant spoke volumes to Klaus.

“Klaus.” He turned to see Bonnie looking at him as Liz went through the door that he assumed belonged to Caroline. The look on Bonnie’s face told was the one she wore the previous day when he lashed out at Caroline; apparently, she still had not forgiven him. “I’ll make this quick. I know Caroline forgave you and I know you spent the night with her. Caroline is a compassionate person and always sees the best in people. I get why you were upset yesterday but if you ever treat Caroline like that again, I’ll cut off your balls.”

“Did you just threaten a federal officer?”

“Yes, I did, and I don’t care.” Bonnie told him and Klaus did not know how to respond. He wanted Bonnie to like him because it would make his life easier. He wanted Caroline in his life and with Caroline came her best friend. It was one of the lessons he learned when he hated his college girlfriend’s best friend; or rather the best friend hated him. “That being said, thank you for saving her. I don’t know what I would have done if she died. I just needed to get that out. I just needed to say thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Caroline has a way of saving herself.” Bonnie nodded in agreement and neither of them said anything more; a silent agreement passing between them. The two of them walked into the hospital room where they saw Liz and Caroline sitting on the bed. Caroline’s head was resting on her mother’s shoulder and her eyes were closed. Liz was holding her daughter close to her as she possibly could.

Klaus thought on the first time he laid eyes on Caroline; not the time he saw her picture in the middle of the bullpen of the FBI or the time she stood in the middle of the station covered in bruises and torn clothing. He thought on the moment he stepped into her hospital room. He thought on that strength he knew was buried inside her. She was a fighter but seeing how deflated she seemed in front of him now, he had never been more thankful that this was over.

Caroline no longer needed to be strong; she could begin to heal.

“Sweetheart?” Klaus whispered and Caroline opened her eyes. She gave him a small smile and held out her good hand; Klaus noticing the brand-new cast on her wrist. He could see the fresh bruise on the side of her face and Klaus felt a wave of anger swell in his chest. Klaus laced his fingers through hers and could feel the fear he had been fighting since the moment he realized that Caroline was missing, leave him. The adrenaline that he had been running on evaporated and he had never felt so tired before. “Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect.”

Lie.

“Caroline. I’m going to stay here tonight.” Liz told her and Caroline shot her mother a confused look. “They brought Matt into the hospital; he was shot. He will be staying here until morning. I want to ensure that he does not go anywhere. Is that okay? I’ll come home if you want me to.”

“No. It’s okay.” She whispered. “But I can still sleep at your place? I don’t want to go back that house.” Caroline paused and panic took over here. “Enzo! Where is Enzo! My dog. Did he hurt my dog?!”

“Enzo is fine.” Klaus chimed in; in what he hoped was a soothing voice. He felt Caroline relax at the knowledge that her dog was going to be okay. “He is already at your mom’s house. Probably getting into everything he can find due to his impatience to see you.”

“Good. I miss him.” Caroline whispered and Klaus gave her a small smile. He knew that Caroline really loved that dog. Liz leaned down and kissed the top of her head; smoothing out her curls as she went. “Mom, if you want to go find out were Matt is, I’ll be okay. Really. I’m fine.”

Klaus did not like the easy tone Caroline used when saying Matt’s name. It was too easy; to normal. It was as though she was speaking of an old friend and not about the man who nearly just tried to kill her. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Bonnie watching her carefully; clearly as concerned as he was.

“Okay.” Liz told her and kissed Caroline’s head one last time before climbing off the bed. Bonnie climbed into Liz’s spot; taking Caroline into her arms in a similar fashion that Liz was holding her. Klaus gave Caroline’s hand a quick squeeze, telling her that he would be right back and followed Liz out of the room.

“Liz.” Klaus called and Liz, who was halfway down the hall, paused. She turned back to face him, and it appeared as though she was shaking; Klaus could not tell if it was out of anger or something else. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Liz told him honestly, giving a humorless laugh. “He hurt her. He was going to kill her and do horrible things to her.” Klaus paused, giving her a look. “I know what he did to the bodies Klaus. I read the autopsy reports. Last night when I was at the station.” Liz shook her head. “That was all I could think about today when he had her. All I could imagine was how my daughter was going to die and what he was going to do to her.”

“Liz-“

“He was my deputy Klaus. I knew him. I let him sleep at my house when he was a kid.” Klaus could not imagine what Liz was feeling. He knew that when it came to small towns, everyone is connected in some way or another. He knew that when the truth was revealed, it would send a shockwave; no matter who it was. “I trusted him.”

“What are you going to do?” It was a simple question and while Klaus was only days away from hanging up his shield for good, he was still an agent; and no matter how many rules he had broken and lines he crossed, he didn’t want to see Liz do something that she would regret. “Why do you really want to stay here tonight?”

“I won’t kill him, if that is what you’re asking.” It was. They both knew that. “I just do not want someone to remember him as the football star who once won the home championship for the town. I don’t want them to think of him as the cop who only gave them a warning when they deserved a ticket. I want to ensure that they know exactly the monster he is, and no mercy is shown to him.”

“Okay.” Klaus reached out and touched her shoulder, squeezing it. From the moment he met Liz, he admired her. She was someone who earned the respect she was given; not only for the job she did but the woman she was. She loved her daughter fiercely and never once did she break; always standing as the backbone for Caroline to lean on. “You’re a good sheriff Liz. No one expected it to be him. Don’t doubt that.”

“I don’t. Take care of my baby. Okay Klaus? I trusted you to find her and you did. You kept her alive.” Liz looked as though she wanted to say more but didn’t. “Just care for her tonight. Please? I need to do this.”

“You have my word.” Liz nodded and turned away from him, heading out of the ER; off to search for where Matt was in surgery. Klaus watched her go before turning and heading back into the hospital room to see Bonnie and Caroline in the same position he had left them; but he could tell that the two women were having a whispered argument. “Everything okay?”

“Yup.” Caroline told him in a tone that was far too cheery. Bonnie and Klaus both shared another look; Bonnie was as equally concerned as he was. “Bonnie has a bunch of cupcake orders that need filled. Anna has taken a few days off and Bonnie is needed at the bakery.”

“Caroline-“

“Bonnie its fine.” Caroline turned to Klaus, ignored the worried look her friend was giving her. “Would you mind taking me to my mom’s? It’s not too far from the police station. If it is no trouble. I’m sure you’re tired too. Once you drop me off you can head back to the bed and breakfast to get some sleep. I bet you will have a busy day ahead of you.”

“I didn’t drive here. I rode in the ambulance.” Caroline seemed her deflate. “But if Ms. Bennett doesn’t mind taking us to the station, I can grab the SUV I’ve been driving.” Bonnie quickly agreed and Caroline seemed to relax. “And you should not be alone tonight, Love.”

Before Caroline refute, Dr. Fell knocked on the hospital door; making all three of its occupants jump.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Dr. Fell walked into the room with a clipboard in her hand and a gentle smile on her face. “I just have a few discharge papers that Caroline needs to sign. If you could give us a few minutes?”

Bonnie and Klaus nodded. Klaus leaned down and kissed the top of her head before leaving the hospital room with Bonnie; who was biting her nails and seemed on edge. The second they were alone in the hallway, she rounded on him with suspicious eyes.

“She won’t let me stay with her. I tried to tell her that the bakery can handle being closed for a few days, but she won’t listen. She kept insisting that I’ll see her tomorrow and that you will take her home. She also said she wants to be alone which is the last thing she needs right now.”

“If Caroline thinks that I’ll leave her alone then she has lost her mind.” Klaus told Bonnie, and that is exactly is what he was afraid was going to happen. Caroline was in shock and that shock was about to wear off at any moment. “If you want to stay as well, feel free because I’m not leaving her either.”

“She will get pissed off if I stay and honestly, I don’t care. This is what she does. When things are bad, she pushes everyone away and pretends that nothing is wrong.” Bonnie told him with a worried look. “But, if you take her to her moms and refuse to leave, she might listen to you.” Klaus gave her a confused look. Why would Caroline listen to him when she was holding her best friend at arm’s length? “She has feelings for you, dumbass.”

“Did you just call a federal agent a dumbass?”

“Yes. Arrest me.” Before Klaus could reply, Dr. Fell came out of the hospital room with a worried look on her face. At first, Klaus thought that something was wrong with her physically, but they would have heard something from out in the hallway. Dr. Fell looked between Bonnie and Klaus and pointed at both of them.

“Caroline is under the impression that she is spending the night alone.”

“She’s not.” Bonnie and Klaus chimed in at the same time.

“Good because she is in no position to be alone right now.” Dr. Fell pursed her lips. “Agent Mikaelson, I am telling you this because Caroline signed a release stating that I can discuss her case with you, remember?” Klaus nodded, understanding what she was saying. Dr. Fell was about to break her patient’s confidence and was doing it the only way she knew how; by using that release and the fact that Klaus was a federal agent. “I know how stubborn she can be, and she will fight you tooth and nail, but that woman in there is five second away from a complete breakdown. If I knew that she wouldn’t check herself out of the hospital, I would keep her overnight.”

“We are going to Liz’s house. Klaus and I are staying over and Caroline will deal with it.” The finality in Bonnie’s tone impressed Klaus and for a moment, he felt a stab in his stomach. The friendship that Caroline and Bonnie shared reminded him of Marcel. The memory of his friend’s death and how it had been less than forty-eight hours since he died hit him like a ton of bricks.

Klaus shook himself.

Now was not the time.

“Good.” Dr. Fell told them and handed Bonnie a script. “Here is a prescription for medication for the pain and honestly, they may help her sleep. She told me that she did not want to take any sleeping pills, but it might be good for her to take them at least tonight. If she gets a good night’s sleep, it may help her later.” Klaus nodded seriously listening to her every word. She gave a few more instructions before giving a small smile. “And I want to say thank you. You promised that you would find the man that did this and you did. So, thank you.”

“It wasn’t just me but you’re welcome.” Dr. Fell smiled before turning away and heading down the hallway. Bonnie and Klaus shared a look before heading into the hospital room again; silently agreeing that they would not tell Caroline that they both were staying with her that night. Caroline was up, dressed and running a brush through her hair. She saw them come into the room and flashed them a bright smile that did not do her beauty her justice. It felt false and wrong.

“Ready to go?” Caroline asked them cheerfully. Bonnie and Klaus exchanged a look, but Klaus just nodded. “Great! I figured that Bonnie can drop us off at the station to pick up you SUV and then you can take me my mom’s before you head to the bed and breakfast?”

“Sure. Sounds good.” Bonnie told her and picked up her bag that she left on the hospital floor. Caroline smiled at her and walked out of the room. Klaus turned to follow her, but Bonnie’s hand reached out and grabbed her arm. “I’ll drop you off at the police station, go to my apartment and pack a bag. I’ll get Caroline’s prescriptions on my way over. It might be better that way, so she won’t have a fit in the car or something.”

Klaus nodded in agreement and caught up with Caroline who was speed walking through the hospital, not having noticed that Klaus and Bonnie had lagged behind. Klaus watched her nervously as they climbed into the back of Bonnie’s light blue car. Caroline just seemed in a daze and couldn’t focus on anything particularly in front of her. She continued to fidget with her hands and talking non-stop.

“I left my phone at the house so I suppose I can grab that in the morning. I won’t need it. Mom still has a landline. I mean who has a landline anymore? Oh! Maybe we can do coffee in the morning Bonnie? Klaus you should come too. Yes. Before you leave for New Orleans, also you have to tell me when you get there. I’ll worry if you don’t.”

“I promise to call when I get there, Sweetheart.” Klaus promised and he saw Bonnie look at him through the review mirror. He wanted to tell Caroline that there was some work that still needed to be done before he left town. Matt needed to be interrogated and figuring out what would happen to Tyler and Jeremy. There was so much that needed to happen before he could say he was done in Mystic Falls.

Bonnie pulled up to the police station and Klaus pointed which SUV was his. She parked next to it and Caroline all but jumped out of the car as though it was on fire. She was antsy and pacing back and forth as Klaus climbed out of the car. If he had not known better, he thought she might have been on something; but Klaus could spot a panic attack from a mile away and Caroline was on the verge of a breakdown.

“I’ll see you soon.” Bonnie said in a low voice and Klaus nodded. By the time Klaus hit the unlock button on his key fob, Caroline was already crawling into the passenger seat. Klaus pulled out of the space and listened to Caroline ramble on; keeping a close eye on her in case she started to panic as he drove.

“You know, I’ve never been to New Orleans. I’ve traveled but I tend to aim for other countries. Last year, I went to France for work, but you already knew that. I think I told you that. Anyway, I would love to see New Orleans. Is it true that they have French influences? I loved France and I bet the food in New Orleans in amazing. All the creole!”

“I’ll have to take you. Maybe we can make a trip of it. You and me.” While he knew that he was just appeasing her, Klaus did mean what he said. He would love to show Caroline New Orleans or any other city. He wanted to be with her outside of this trauma she was enduring. The brightness of her smile in that moment hurt Klaus more than he could express because it was wrong. He would keep every promise he made to her but in this moment, it was not about the promises he made; it was about getting Caroline through the night intact. He pulled up next to Liz’s house and reached over to Caroline, taking her hand in his. “I promise that we will go to any city you want to see. I will be there with you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Thank you.” Caroline leaned across the car and kissed his quickly on the lips; tossing him that wide and false smile on her lips. Caroline crawled out of the car and Klaus followed suit. He grabbed his bag out of the back as he watched Caroline pull a small decorative frog from the lawn and grab the spare key from under it. He would have to speak to Liz about a better hiding place for her spare key. “Oh, you don’t have to walk me- why do you have your bag?”

“Sweetheart, I’m not leaving you. You may think that you want to be alone, but you shouldn’t be.” Caroline looked at him as though she wanted to argue; to push the point that she was fine and could take care of herself. He remembered how she said she felt suffocated by Bonnie and Liz’s constant hovering and while he could sympathize with her, he knew that tonight her desire to be alone should be ignored. Sometimes, people just need a friend to be there when they fall. “You can’t change my mind.”

“I’m not…I don’t think…that I’m in the mood for anything-“

“I’m not here for sex, Caroline.” Klaus took a step forward and kissed the top of her head. “Last night meant the world to me and I want more than anything to experience that with you again but not tonight. I’m here for you, not your body.” Caroline’s shoulders sagged in relief and for a moment, Klaus felt more irrational anger towards her ex’s than he had previously. It was clear what both Damon and Tyler wanted Caroline for during their relationship and he thought them fools to be so blind to someone with so much worth. “Now. Why don’t you unlock the door?”

“Right.” Caroline laughed and for a moment, it sounded genuine. He followed Caroline up the porch and through the front door. The house was small and organized. He could tell that Liz did not spend a whole lot of time there. Enzo came bustling towards Caroline with such energy that Klaus envied. Caroline sank down to the ground and pulled the dog to her in a tight hug. She buried her face into his fur and Klaus watched her slowly; thinking that this was the moment she would break but was proven wrong when she pulled away. “You scared me mister. Don’t ever run off again. Okay?”

“He was trying to protect you Love. He is very loyal to you.” Klaus told her and she could not take her eyes off the dog. The relief that was showing on her face told Klaus that everything was slowly becoming real to her. She stroked him a few more times and peppered kisses all over his face; Enzo responding with licking her affectionately and enthusiastically.

“Okay, I missed you too!” Caroline laughed, pulling herself from the ground. “Do you have to use the bathroom? Come on boy.” Caroline walked towards a room that Klaus assumed was the kitchen and he heard another door open. He gave Caroline some space but kept an ear out for her. He took the few moments he heads to look around Liz’s living room. It was small and neat. There was a fireplace toward the far wall and pictured lined up on the mantel.

Most of the pictures were of Caroline during different periods of her life. He saw one of Liz holding a newborn baby with a man Klaus assumed to be Caroline’s father who had passed on a few years back. Another of a little girl with blonde pigtails ridding a bright pink bike. A picture of Caroline in her cheerleading uniform and another with her wedged between Elena and Bonnie. One of Liz and Caroline together while another of Caroline playing with a puppy that looked like Enzo.

Then at the far end of the mantel was another picture of a young Caroline no older than sixteen. She had her hair done up in up do with a few curls framing her face. She wore a soft short green dress that told Klaus it was a photo of a school dance. While Caroline looked beautiful, it wasn’t her that drew is attention. It was her date. Matt Donovan stood beside her, their arms linked and a small smile on his face. A memory of something Caroline had said outside Fell Creamery a few days prior surfaced in his mind.

I was Matt’s homecoming date sophomore year because Elena dumped him. Klaus blanched at the connection. Everyone was connected in such a small town like this but to realize that Caroline had been close to him at one point almost disturbed him.

“I forgot about that photo.” Klaus turned to see Caroline gazing at the frame in his hand. She walked closer to him and took it from him; gazing down that face of her monster. “He asked me shortly after Elena dumped him. I had a crush on Stefan and we both knew we were going just as friends. Funny enough, he actually ran off with Andi Star later that night.”

“Andi? I thought she dated Damon?”

“Yeah, she did but that was years later. Matt and Andi dated for a hot minute at the end of sophomore year, but she was two years older and a senior. I was so wrapped up in Damon by then that I forgot that Matt had dated her. I think almost everyone did because it was just a blimp of a relationship. She got accepted into a school in Charleston and left. She would come back for breaks and stuff. It was around then that her and Damon started…. whatever it was they had. They were together and then they weren’t. Matt just got left behind I guess.”

“Are you okay?” Klaus asked her and Caroline nodded. She placed the photo back on the mantel but continued to look at it. Klaus made a mental note to burn that picture at a later time when Caroline was asleep. A protectiveness swelled up inside Klaus and he never wanted Caroline to gaze upon that photo again. He assumed that she had fun at that dance and now that memory would forever be tainted.

“Yeah.” Her voice was low, and Klaus didn’t believe her. He was studying her intently and he could see that memories were flowing through her mind like a movie projected on a screen. “I’m going to take a shower. Follow me and we can place your bag in my room. Mom hasn’t changed it so we can sleep in there tonight.”

Klaus nodded and followed her out of the living room. He picked up his black go bag and climbed the stairs after her. She went down the hallway and into a small room that clearly belonged to her at one point. There was a double bed that had a flowery comforter on it. A small dresser pushed against the one wall and a bookshelf that had a series of books on it that looked like they belonged to a teenager. The walls were a soft blue with sheer yellow curtains hanging on the windows. Klaus sat his bag down at the end of the bed and watched as Caroline pulled a few things from the dresser.

“Mom keeps some old clothes in here now. She won’t care if I borrow some for the night. I can always wash my clothes or swing by the house-“ Caroline froze and Klaus saw her breathing increase. Klaus took a step towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder. The contact seemed to jar Caroline back to reality, and she shut the drawer roughly and held a shirt that she didn’t even look at in her hand. “I’m jumping into the shower.”

Before Klaus could say anything, Caroline bolted into a room that was adjacent to her bedroom. Klaus made sure to keep the bedroom door open and listened for the sound of the shower to start. When he was sure that she was in the shower, he pushed the bathroom door ajar in order to hear inside better before making his way back into the bedroom. He didn’t want to push her or invade her privacy, but he needed to ensure that he was safe and okay.

Klaus sat down upon her bed, picked up a stuffed cow that had seen better days and waited. Enzo jumped up onto the bed and he reached out to pet the dog. Enzo laid down but his eyes remained trained on the bedroom door, waiting for Caroline to come back through it. The silence was mundane and deafening; but Klaus waited because he knew it was coming.

Crash.

Klaus bolted from the bed and raced towards the bedroom; Enzo barking in the background. He pushed the bathroom door open and looked around. He opened the glass shower door to reveal Caroline on the ground and curled up in the corner. Bottles of shampoo and body washed littered the ground along with a few other shower related items. Not caring that he was fully dressed or that the water was still running, Klaus stepped into the shower; hot water burning his skin and pulled Caroline to his chest. He had trouble moving her, so he sunk down to the ground; holding her as he did.

“I’m here, Caroline. Let it out.” Caroline screamed and cried, her nails digging into his chest. He could not make out what she was saying only that she was in pure agony. The stress, terror and pure trauma from the past two weeks were creeping up on her and eating away at her. The relief of Matt’s arrest was fresh and welcoming, but also made room for the emotions that Caroline refused to let herself feel were bursting at the seams. “It’s okay. I got you.”

Enzo was barking just outside the shower and Klaus could hear footsteps racing up the stairs. Within seconds, Bonnie appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. She looked at the scene around her; the shower running, shampoo bottles on the ground, Caroline’s naked body and Klaus’s clothes’ soaking wet. It did not take long for Bonnie to understand what happened.

Bonnie dropped her bag to the ground and reached into the shower to turn off the water. She grabbed a towel that was hanging on a hook just outside the shower and wrapped it around Caroline’s shoulders. Caroline didn’t seem to notice, she just continued crying and clutching Klaus’s chest. Bonnie sank down on the other side of Caroline and gripped her hand, simply telling her that she was there; letting Caroline cry and just feel everything she had been bottling up.

Klaus and Bonnie shared a look over Caroline’s head. Neither of them was going anywhere and where prepared for a long night ahead.

#klaroline #wanderlust #wanderlust wednesday

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bountyofbeads · 4 years

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Virus Pummels Wuhan, a City Short of Supplies and Overwhelmed https://nyti.ms/36Nj8aR

Virus Pummels Wuhan, a City Short of Supplies and Overwhelmed

It is nearly impossible to get the care they need to treat, or even diagnose, the coronavirus, say residents at the crisis’ center.

By Amy Qin | Published Feb. 2, 2020, 1:39 p.m. ET | New York Times | Posted February 2, 2020 |

WUHAN, China — Weak with fever, An Jianhua waited in line for seven hours outside the hospital in the cold, hoping to get tested for the new coronavirus, which doctors suspected she had contracted.

Ms. An, 67, needed an official diagnosis from a hospital to qualify for treatment, but the one she and her son raced to last week had no space, even to test her. The next hospital they were referred to here in Wuhan, the city of 11 million people at the center of the outbreak, was full, too, they said. They finally got an intravenous drip for Ms. An’s fever, but that was all.

Since then, Ms. An has quarantined herself at home. She and her son eat separately, wear masks at home and are constantly disinfecting their apartment. Ms. An’s health is declining rapidly, and even keeping water down is a struggle.

“I can’t let my mom die at home,” said her son, He Jun. “Every day I want to cry, but when I cry there are no tears. There is no hope.”

As countries race to deal with an outbreak that has begun spreading around the world, inciting panic and disrupting the global economy, the residents of Wuhan are waging a daily battle to survive an illness that has sickened more than 4,100 people and killed 224 in their city alone.

Last month, the government put Wuhan in a virtual lockdown, sealing off the city and banning most public transportation and private cars from its streets in a desperate effort to contain the outbreak. Now, many residents say it is nearly impossible to get the health care they need to treat — or even diagnose — the coronavirus.

Expressing exasperation, doctors say there is a shortage of testing kits and other medical supplies, and it is not clear why more are not available. The ban on transportation means some residents have to walk for hours to get to hospitals — if they are well enough to make the journey. Layers of bureaucracy stand between residents and help. And the long lines outside hospitals for testing and treatment suggest that the outbreak is spreading far beyond the official count of cases.

Ambulances, too, are hard to come by, residents say. In recent days, some say they have called 120, China’s equivalent of the emergency number 911, only to be told that there were already hundreds of people in the queue.

Those who do make it to the hospital say they are squeezed together for hours in waiting rooms, where infections are easily spread. But the shortages have meant that many are ultimately turned away and sent home to self-quarantine, potentially compounding the outbreak by exposing their families.

Many doctors and residents are putting their hopes on the two new coronavirus hospitals that China has been racing to build in Wuhan in just a matter of days. One of them spans about eight acres, has 1,000 beds and is scheduled to open on Monday. The government says 1,400 military medical workers will be deployed to work there, potentially helping with the shortage of health professionals on hand to combat the outbreak.

On Sunday, city officials announced plans to set up quarantine stations around Wuhan for people with symptoms of pneumonia and close contacts among coronavirus patients. But just over a week into the lockdown, many residents believe the virus has already spread much further than the official numbers suggest.

“The situation that we’ve seen is much worse than what has been officially reported,” Long Jian, 32, said outside a hospital where his elderly father was being treated. Mr. Long said his father had to go to six hospitals and wait seven days before he could even be tested for the coronavirus.

Just steps from where Mr. Long spoke, beds could be seen lining both sides of a narrow corridor in the emergency room. One man was getting an intravenous drip outside in his car.

“Those who can get diagnosed and treated are the lucky ones,” Mr. Long said. “In our neighborhood, many who weren’t able to get diagnosed ended up dying at home.”

Getting treatment for the coronavirus in a hospital requires jumping through a number of hoops.

According to official guidelines, patients are encouraged to go to their local hospitals first for initial assessments and sometimes prescriptions. Then patients are to deliver the results to their local neighborhood committees, which are responsible for communicating with the hospitals and coordinating resources for the households in their areas. There are about 1,000 neighborhood committees in Wuhan, for a population of 11 million.

Patients with mild symptoms are typically told to go home and self-quarantine, according to a Jan. 24 notice by city officials. Those who have more severe symptoms are flagged by the neighborhood committees, which arrange for transportation by ambulance to one of the two dozen or so hospitals designated for treating the coronavirus.

But in practice, patients and their relatives say that the process takes far too long, and that the bar for what constitutes “severe symptoms” has been set too high — so they give up and try waiting in long lines at hospitals instead.

Amy Hu said her 64-year-old mother went to the doctor after experiencing a fever, cough, shortness of breath and diarrhea about 10 days ago. Based on the initial assessment, the doctor told Ms. Hu’s mother that she had contracted the coronavirus. But the test needed to confirm the diagnosis was not available, the doctor said.

Without the test, her mother couldn’t be admitted to a hospital. Since then, Ms. Hu said, they have been waiting at home to hear back from the hospital about when her mother can be tested. In recent days Ms. Hu, who has been visiting her parents for the Lunar New Year holiday, took precautions herself: She checked into a hostel with her two children.

“I’m very dissatisfied with the government,” Ms. Hu said. “It’s like only when the patients are close to death can they be admitted to a hospital.”

Tong Yixuan, 31, said Sunday that he panicked last week when he learned that in just a few days, his father’s cold had escalated into a full-blown illness that doctors said was almost certainly the coronavirus.

But neither his father, who had a 104-degree fever and was slipping in and out of consciousness, nor his mother, who was starting to show similar symptoms, could get tested. Hospitals said that there was no space, and that their symptoms were not severe enough, Mr. Tong said. His parents were sent home to quarantine themselves.

There was no way for Mr. Tong to help. He was more than 60 miles away in Huangshi, which days ago had been locked down by the government along with many other cities in Hubei Province. The roads out of Huangshi and into Wuhan had all been sealed off. For days, Mr. Tong was stuck. Only Saturday, after hours of negotiation with local officials, was he able to make it to his parents’ bedside, he said. They have since been tested for the coronavirus, and his father has been admitted to a hospital. The process took 10 days.

“All I want to do is take care of my parents,” Mr. Tong said. “I don’t even care if I get infected.”

For some people, like Gan Hanjiang, the new hospitals cannot be built fast enough.

Last month, his father came down with a severe fever and cough. He was tested for the coronavirus, but the results were negative. Ten days after the onset of symptoms, however, his father died, Mr. Gan said.

The hospital classified the cause as “severe pneumonia,” Mr. Gan said, but he believes it was the coronavirus. Several experts have recently conceded that several rounds of testing may be needed for an accurate diagnosis of the virus.

On the day his father died, Mr. Gan began to show the same symptoms, he said. But without a car, he has not been able to go to one of the designated hospitals to get tested for the coronavirus.

“Getting treatment is so difficult,” he whispered slowly by telephone from a small hospital near his home where he was being treated for viral pneumonia. “We can’t get admitted to the hospitals. And there’s not enough medicine.”

*********

Wuhan Coronavirus Looks Increasingly Like a Pandemic, Experts Say... Rapidly rising caseloads alarm researchers, who fear the virus may make its way across the globe. But scientists cannot yet predict how many deaths may result.

By Donald G. McNeil Jr. | Published Feb. 2, 2020, 2:35 p.m. ET | New York Times | Posted February 2, 2020 |

The Wuhan coronavirus spreading from China is now likely to become a pandemic that circles the globe, according to many of the world’s leading infectious disease experts.

The prospect is daunting. A pandemic — an ongoing epidemic on two or more continents — may well have global consequences, despite the extraordinary travel restrictions and quarantines now imposed by China and other countries, including the United States.

Scientists do not yet know how lethal the new coronavirus is, however, so there is uncertainty about how much damage a pandemic might cause. But there is growing consensus that the pathogen is readily transmitted between humans.

The Wuhan coronavirus is spreading more like influenza, which is highly transmissible, than like its slow-moving viral cousins, SARS and MERS, scientists have found.

“It’s very, very transmissible, and it almost certainly is going to be a pandemic,” said Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease.

“But will it be catastrophic? I don’t know.”

In the last three weeks, the number of lab-confirmed cases has soared from about 50 in China to 14,000 in 23 countries; there have been over 300 deaths, all but one in China.

But various epidemiological models estimate that the real number of cases is 100,000 or even more. While that expansion is not as rapid as that of flu or measles, it is an enormous leap beyond what virologists saw when SARS and MERS emerged.

When SARS was vanquished in July 2003 after spreading for nine months, only 8,098 cases had been confirmed. MERS has been circulating since 2012, but there have been only about 2,500 known cases.

The biggest uncertainty now, experts said, is how many people around the world will die. SARS killed about 10 percent of those who got it, and MERS now kills about one of three.

The 1918 “Spanish flu” killed only about 2.5 percent of its victims — but because it infected so many people and medical care was much cruder then, 20 to 50 million died.

By contrast, the highly transmissible H1N1 “swine flu” pandemic of 2009 killed about 285,000, fewer than seasonal flu normally does, and had a relatively low fatality rate, estimated at .02 percent.

The mortality rate for known cases of the Wuhan coronavirus has been running about 2 percent, although that is likely to drop as more tests are done and more mild cases are found.

It is “increasingly unlikely that the virus can be contained,” said Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, a former director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention who now runs Resolve to Save Lives, a nonprofit devoted to fighting epidemics.

“It is therefore likely that it will spread, as flu and other organisms do, but we still don’t know how far, wide or deadly it will be.”

In the early days of the 2009 flu pandemic, “they were talking about Armageddon in Mexico,” Dr. Fauci said. (That virus first emerged in pig-farming areas in Mexico’s Veracruz State.) “But it turned out to not be that severe.”

An accurate estimate of the virus’s lethality will not be possible until certain kinds of studies can be done: blood tests to see how many people have antibodies, household studies to learn how often it infects family members, and genetic sequencing to determine whether some strains are more dangerous than others.

Closing borders to highly infectious pathogens never succeeds completely, experts said, because all frontiers are somewhat porous. Nonetheless, closings and rigorous screening may slow the spread, which will buy time for the development of drug treatments and vaccines.

Other important unknowns include who is most at risk, whether coughing or contaminated surfaces are more likely to transmit the virus, how fast the virus can mutate and whether it will fade out when the weather warms.

The effects of a pandemic would probably be harsher in some countries than in others. While the United States and other wealthy countries may be able to detect and quarantine the first carriers, countries with fragile health care systems will not. The virus has already reached Cambodia, India, Malaysia, Nepal, the Philippines and rural Russia.

“This looks far more like H1N1’s spread than SARS, and I am increasingly alarmed,” said Dr. Peter Piot, director of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. “Even 1 percent mortality would mean 10,000 deaths in each million people.”

Other experts were more cautious.

Dr. Michael Ryan, head of emergency responses for the World Health Organization, said in an interview with STAT News on Saturday that there was “evidence to suggest this virus can still be contained” and that the world needed to “keep trying.”

Dr. W. Ian Lipkin, a virus-hunter at the Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health who is in China advising its Center for Disease Control and Prevention, said that although the virus is clearly being transmitted through casual contact, labs are still behind in processing samples.

But life in China has radically changed in the last two weeks. Streets are deserted, public events are canceled, and citizens are wearing masks and washing their hands, Dr. Lipkin said. All of that may have slowed down what lab testing indicated was exponential growth in the infection.

It’s unclear exactly how accurate tests done in overwhelmed Chinese laboratories are. On the one hand, Chinese state media have reported test kit shortages and processing bottlenecks, which could produce an undercount.

But Dr. Lipkin said he knew of one lab running 5,000 samples a day, which might produce some false-positive results, inflating the count. “You can’t possibly do quality control at that rate,” he said.

Anecdotal reports from China, and one published study from Germany, indicate that some people infected with the Wuhan coronavirus can pass it on before they show symptoms. That may make border-screening much harder, scientists said.

Epidemiological modeling released Friday by the European Center for Disease Prevention and Control estimated that 75 percent of infected people reaching Europe from China would still be in the incubation periods upon arrival, and therefore not detected by airport screening, which looks for fevers, coughs and breathing difficulties.

But if thermal cameras miss victims who are beyond incubation and actively infecting others, the real number of missed carriers may be higher than 75 percent.

Still, asymptomatic carriers “are not normally major drivers of epidemics,” Dr. Fauci said. Most people get ill from someone they know to be sick — a family member, a co-worker or a patient, for example.

The virus’s most vulnerable target is Africa, many experts said. More than 1 million expatriate Chinese work there, mostly on mining, drilling or engineering projects. Also, many Africans work and study in China and other countries where the virus has been found.

If anyone on the continent has the virus now, “I’m not sure the diagnostic systems are in place to detect it,” said Dr. Daniel Bausch, head of scientific programs for the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene, who is consulting with the W.H.O. on the outbreak.

South Africa and Senegal could probably diagnose it, he said. Nigeria and some other countries have asked the W.H.O. for the genetic materials and training they need to perform diagnostic tests, but that will take time.

At least four African countries have suspect cases quarantined, according to an article published Friday in The South China Morning Post. They have sent samples to France, Germany, India and South Africa for testing.

At the moment, it seems unlikely that the virus will spread widely in countries with vigorous, alert public health systems, said Dr. William Schaffner, a preventive medicine specialist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

“Every doctor in the U.S. has this top of mind,” he said. “Any patient with fever or respiratory problems will get two questions. ‘Have you been to China? Have you had contact with anyone who has?’ If the answer is yes, they’ll be put in isolation right away.”

Assuming the virus spreads globally, tourism to and trade with countries besides China may be affected — and the urgency to find ways to halt the virus and prevent deaths will grow.

It is possible that the Wuhan coronavirus will fade out as weather warms. Many viruses, like flu, measles and norovirus, thrive in cold, dry air. The SARS outbreak began in winter, and MERS transmission also peaks then, though that may be related to transmission in newborn camels.

Four mild coronaviruses cause about a quarter of the nation’s common colds, which also peak in winter.

But even if an outbreak fades in June, there could be a second wave in the fall, as has occurred in every major flu pandemic, including those that began in 1918 and 2009.

By that time, some remedies might be on hand, although they will need rigorous testing and perhaps political pressure to make them available and affordable.

In China, several antiviral drugs are being prescribed. A common combination is pills containing lopinavir and ritonavir with infusions of interferon, a signaling protein that wakes up the immune system.

In the United States, the combination is sold as Kaletra by AbbVie for H.I.V. therapy, and it is relatively expensive. In India, a dozen generic makers produce the drugs at rock-bottom prices for use against H.I.V. in Africa, and their products are W.H.O.-approved.

Another option may be an experimental drug, remdesivir, on which the patent is held by Gilead. The drug has not yet been approved for use against any disease. Nonetheless, there is some evidence that it works against coronaviruses, and Gilead has donated doses to China.

Several American companies are working on a vaccine, using various combinations of their own funds, taxpayer money and foundation grants.

Although modern gene-chemistry techniques have made it possible to build vaccine candidates within just days, medical ethics require that they then be carefully tested on animals and small numbers of healthy humans for safety and effectiveness.

That aspect of the process cannot be sped up, because dangerous side effects may take time to appear and because human immune systems need time to produce the antibodies that show whether a vaccine is working.

Whether or not what is being tried in China will be acceptable elsewhere will depend on how rigorously Chinese doctors run their clinical trials.

“In God we trust,” Dr. Schaffner said. “All others must provide data.”

*********

#u.s. news #politics #trump administration #politics and government #world news #worldpolitics #world travel #worldtraveler #trump china #china news #china #asia news #asian voices #international news #coronavirus #wuhan virüsü #wuhan pneumonia

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sunshineandfangs · 5 years

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Klarosummer - Bali, Indonesia || Terbang Menjauh

@klarosummerbingo

Caroline stared up at her light yellow ceiling from where she was sprawled on her bed. Even gazing straight up she could see in her peripherals the gaps where photos and cheer competition trophies and wall decorations used to be.

Most of her things had been moved to her dorm in Whitmore, leaving only the essentials in her old bedroom. And as Caroline laid in the bare bones of her childhood she wondered to herself what the hell she was doing.

She had turned down acceptances to her child self’s dream schools, bundling herself up and shipping away to somewhere close to home. And she had her list of reasons. Wanting to be close to her mom. Wanting to be close to her friends. Not wanting to waste the limited amount of time she had left with her human life, not when she had all of eternity promised to her.

And they were valid and important reasons, but she was also tired.

College was supposed to be one of her last big human milestones. Instead she and her friends were inundated with more Supernatural shenanigans: killing Silas (again!), burying collateral damage (how she fucking hated those words), uncovering anti-vampire secret societies (Augustine 0/10, do not recommend), Travelers, endless friggin’ drama.

So, that’s how she ended up here.

Contrary to her Caroline Forbes neurotic, control-freak on crack persona, she had spontaneously taken the weekend off to just get some space. Some perspective.

The sound of the front door opening carried up to her ears.

“Hey, Mom?” She called out, already half-down the stairs.

In uniform, as always, her mom jolted, hand going for her gun holster until she processed who was there.

The woman relaxed, though her eyebrows pinched together a bit, confused.

“Sweetie, I wasn’t expecting you.” The older blonde set down her coat, lips slightly down-turned. “Is something wrong?”

Caroline shifted, fingers rubbing at the material of her floral dress.

She bit her lip.

“Mom? ...Would-would you be angry if I took a break from college?”

And although Caroline’s relationship had vastly improved with her mother (it only took her death), she was still surprised by the calm reaction.

Her mom just pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat down.

“Can you tell me why?”

She paced back and forth, trying to put her mental state into words.

“I just- I feel tired. Right now, school is actually one of my lower priorities because it seems some new supernatural problem pops up every week. And even if that wasn’t part of the issue, I also know I can go do school anytime. Hell, I can go more than once if I really want to. And honestly, I never thought it would be me who’s saying something like this, but I want more time to discover what it is I want from my life.”

Caroline turned to face her mother, offering a slightly self-deprecating smile.

“You know me, I had all these plans. My five, ten, twenty year goals and lists and priorities all mapped out. And then a year ago I had to scrap most of it.” She ran a hand through her curls, turning slightly to pace a few more steps. “But now, I’m coming to realize maybe I’ve been clinging too hard to the parts I had left, rather than scrapping it and coming up with a new plan. One that works for the me I am now.”

“You seem to have given this a lot of thought.”

A giggle burst from Caroline’s lips.

“Actually I haven’t! Maybe it’s been building for a while, but earlier today I just hopped into my car and drove down here.”

She turned back to face her mom, hearing as the woman stood from her chair and walked over.

Her hand was warm but firm on Caroline’s shoulder.

“Caroline, I know we haven’t always been the best people to each other, and I haven’t always been the best mom. But I did always want you to be happy, healthy, safe. And this is the first time in a while I’ve seen you truly passionate about something. So, if you came here for my blessing, you have it.” The sheriff affixed a wry little grin on her face. “And if you wanted my guidance... well, maybe a happy medium between a twenty year plan and hopping in the car.”

Caroline’s resulting smile was enormous, practically beaming in delight. And she threw her arms around her mother, all but smothering the poor woman in a hug as she hid the beading tears starting to gather at the corner’s of her eyes.

“Thanks, mom,” she whispered.

Back in her room, having hashed out some of the logistics of leaving so suddenly (Thanks, Mom!), Caroline dug out her old globe. She grinned, tickled by the cliche she was about to indulge in.

Shutting her eyes and giving it a quick spin, she set her index finger on the textured plastic as it slowed and stopped.

Eyes opening, her finger traced over the bright pink islands. Small black text declaring her destination.

“Indonesia,” she breathed in wonderment.

A smile started to stretch across her face, she knew little about Indonesia.

In a blur, Caroline darted around the room, snatching up her laptop and scrounging through her near empty desk for a notepad and a sad three little highlighters (cyan, pink, and yellow).

And even as she pulled page after page of Google results, her tab count growing by the second, another resource idea wiggled around in the back of her head. Almost subconsciously her hand reached for her phone, pulling up her contacts, and pausing. Her thumb hovering over the K’s as Caroline glanced down at the screen.

Spontaneity has been working for me.

Before she could second guess herself and talk herself out of it, she tapped the name, pulling up the little menu and hitting ‘Call.’

It rang.

Ring. Ri-

“Hello, Caroline.”

“Klaus,” she breathed.

“I must say, sweetheart, this is a pleasant surprise. After our lovely rendezvous in the woods I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon.” She could hear the smile in his words and felt a bloom of heat in her cheeks (God, she couldn’t wait until she didn’t blush so noticeably anymore. Old vampires got all the perks). And then his tone shifted. “You’re not calling because you’re in trouble are you? I haven’t received any such news recently, but if you need something just say the word I’ll-”

Caroline cut him off with a laugh, ignoring the little flutter of her heart and the silly grin on her face. “No, no, it’s nothing like that!” Pause. “Wait a minute, ‘received any such news’? Klaus!” She admonished.

He was unrepentant. “I have not broken my word, I’ve not set foot in Mystic Falls.”

She scoffed. “Gee, I didn’t think I had to voice how not okay creepy spies are, Klaus. My mistake.”

Rather than reacting to her typical jab, Klaus responded with his unnerving brand of sincerity.

“I will not apologize, Caroline, for wanting some measure of the dangers in your life. Your friends aren’t exactly known for their restraint.”

“Yeah, well,” she mumbled, not having much defense against that. “That still doesn’t make it okay!”

“I’d rather your ire than your death, Caroline. Augustine, the Travelers, Silas? I admit I was a mere hairsbreadth away from breaking my word to you.”

Caroline coughed, flustered. She waved her hand in the air, as if he could see her trying to brush away the sentiment.

“Well, nevermind all that, it’s not why I called.”

She heard a door close and sheets rustle, Klaus having apparently retreated to his room to talk to her. Unbidden, imaginings of his bed sprang into her mind, before she quickly snapped herself out of it.

She cleared her throat. “Right, um, so actually I was wondering, if you had any traveling tips for Indonesia?”

“Indonesia?” He repeated, surprised.

“Um, yeah, I decided I wanted to get away for a little while. See a bit of the world and all that.”

“And college? Building a life for yourself with all your plans and the future and the things you want?”

She blinked, not having expected to hear her own words parroted back to her.

He continued, seeming to sense the direction of her thoughts in that uncanny way of his. “I remember all our encounters vividly, Caroline, and that day in particular is quite seared into my memory.”

She clicked on one of her forgotten tabs, absently reading the quick tips guide as she tried to calm her suddenly elevated heart-rate.

Her eyes froze on a line of black and white pixels, unsure of what she was even reading. Did she really want to keep doing this? Wasn’t she trying something new?

So, she took a breath and took a chance.

“I still have plans and things I want, Klaus. It’s just expanded to include some genuine beauty as well. After all I’m free, right? No longer bound by trivial conventions?”

Klaus sucked in a breath, and Caroline was pleased she could catch him off guard for once in this conversation.

“Yes, you’re free, Caroline,” he said softly, layers of meaning in his tone. The words sat heavy between them, the two feeling as if they were on the precipice of something.

And then he cleared his throat.

“So tell me then, what parts of Indonesia do you most wish to see?”

---

Caroline grinned, pink toe nails gleaming as she wiggled her feet in the smooth, hot sand.

She had been in Bali for a few days now, mostly indulging in its gorgeous beaches.

Of course Klaus had tried to steer her towards some of the more culturally enriched spots as well as a couple of the hidden gems he had come across in his own travels. But he had conceded (with some grumbling) to her desires to experience the more touristy attractions.

The beaches were first, just for their sheer relaxation factor, but she also had a list of temples, and Pura Besakih was one she was particularly looking forward to seeing.

And she may have casually mentioned that, perhaps, next time she visited he could show her his preferred places. That earned her another surprised breath and significantly less grumbling. (She was quite glad it wasn’t a video call though, her expression far from the cavalier attitude her voice implied).

Caroline shook herself from her thoughts, eyes glancing around to find the perfect spot to situate herself. Settling on one quickly, she then set it up to her liking. Towel, beach chair, beach umbrella (closed for the moment though, she wanted to bask in the sun first!).

Lounging in her chair, she shucked her shirt and sarong, leaving her clad in a light blue bikini. Sunglasses perched on her nose, she let her eyes drift shut, the sun warm on her skin.

---

She wasn’t sure how long she laid there for, but a frown pulled at her lips as a shadow fell across her.

Wondering which rude fellow beach goer was about to get an earful from her, she cracked an eye open.

Both eyes blew wide as she shoved the glasses up.

“Klaus?!” She spluttered.

He smiled.

“Hello, Caroline.”

...Should she be mad about this? Did she want to be mad about it?

As Caroline continued to stare at him, it was the tinge of uncertainty she saw that convinced her.

Pushing her glasses back down, she leaned back in her chair once more.

“Well,” she sniffed. “Don’t just stand there, you’re blocking the sun.” She held up her fingers. “Sun, sand, swimming, the three essentials of the beach. I won’t settle for just two of the three, Klaus!”

His smile turned into a grin as he quickly sat on her towel, leaning back on his hands as he turned to look at her.

“Lay down, Klaus,” she commanded. “This is quiet, relaxation time. We’ll talk later.” She hesitated before tacking on, “I’m glad you’re here though.”

...

“Don’t let it go to your head!”

Klaus grinned as he laid back.

Too late.

---

Author’s Note: Today’s title is “Fly Away” in Indonesian. Also le gasp, what’s this? Mid-TVD canon divergence?! Wow, I didn’t know I knew how to do that lol. Also the vagueness and timeline jumbling is because I quit watching after season 3 so everything I know after that point I’ve absorbed through fandom osmosis.

#Klaroline #KlarosummerBingo #Klaroline Fanfiction #Klaroline Drabbles #Klaroline Edits #Klaroline Photosets #Klaroline Aesthetics #My Writing #My Edits

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druidonity · 5 years

Text

Anduin fanfic idea #1 (Feel free to use!)

IDEA: Varian’s death broke Anduin. With two wars back to back, he has had no time to recover. And now it’s the first year anniversary of his father’s death. Anduin cannot pretend anymore, he can’t hide his decaying health, he can’t hide his tears, and worst of all, no matter how much the light tries, it’s powers weaken on him. If the boy doesn’t change, he’s on track to die due to his heart break. But that’s not how this timeline should go. Anduin is needed for Azeroth to survive. Chromie offers the young king a much needed break, and the next thing Anduin knows, he’s outside a house in Westfall. The house of the Ellerian nobel family.

Rules for use: Credit me for the idea, and if you post the story, let me know! I wanna read! :D

Below the line are chapter by chapter notes for the story. Feel free to use all of it, none of it, some of it, etc.

Prologue: All events in the summery of the story above. Anduins sick, Chromie appears, sends him back in time, but makes it appear like hes asleep so Genn and the others don’t worry.

Chapter one: Anduin, weak and confused, is cared for by Mrs and Mr Ellerian, as well as their two daughters, Tiffin and Shelby. Tiffin is an 18 year old, currently trying her hardest to escape nobility. She seeks to be free, travel, like an adventurer. Shelby, age 12, goes to school in Stormwind, and wants to be Queen, but because she could finally make Stormwind’s crown help West fall. Anduin speaks to these people, and they ask him questions, he does not tell them who he is, only that his name is Llane. He is given soup and allowed to stay the night, in Tiffin’s room, with Tiffin moving to Shelby’s room. Surprisingly, for nobles, their second home is small and comfurting, and they dont appear to be nobles at all. Shelby mentions that her parents like to keep a humble side. As much as they represent Stormwind, they also wish to represent West fall.

Chapter two: Tiffin and Shelby set off to Stormwind the next day, Shelby for schooling and Tiffin to keep up with the Stormwind politics. Anduin goes with them and finds out that Tiffin from a young age has been representing the Ellerian house, mainly because her parents have weak bones and don’t make the trip every other day, only once a week. They stop in Goldshire for a bit before making it to Stormwind gates. (Tiffin gets nervous around Goldshire, turns out she has an ex who works in the Forge, she doesnt want to run into him. ((i read something about an ex in her wiki i think))

Chapter three: Tiffin shows Anduin their home in Stormwind, a rather nice house in Cathedral square. Anduin realizes he’s never known this was their house, and makes a mental note to check to see who owns the property when he gets back to his time. Tiffin says he can’t go with her to the meetings, but Anduin is free to do whatever he wants. He can leave if he wants, but he should at least write a note for her parents. They would worry. Anduin mentions he really doesnt have a place to go, to sleep, nor money for an inn. Tiffin says he’s allowed to stay in their home for as long as he wants, just don’t steal anything. My parents would know the second they walk into the house. Theyll find you. Anduin maybe spends the day walking around past Stormwind? He thinks of all the times he could change, but knows he should not mess with time.

Chapter four: Anduin ends up staying with the girls for months. Anduin becomes really close with the Ellerian family, and they try to pay him to be a house sitter for their home in Stormwind whenever the girls go back to westfall. Tiffin’s parents often invite Anduin over for dinner, etc. But then one month Tiffin’s parents pass, and her little sister (is killed or goes missing? maybe leaves a note explaining she isnt happy where she is anymore? i dont know? Or maybe the school sends her off to study across the globe?). Anyway, Tiffin is greatly hurt, and Anduin is the only one to comfort her. Except, he’s not. Tiffin tells him about a friend she’s recently made, and Anduin knows exactly who it is before she tells him. Tiffin talks about how she originally hated him, but now thats shes forced to spend a bit more time with him as the only noble of her household, she’s learned alot more about him. The King, Varian.

Chapter five: Anduin finds an invitation addressed to him to a winter ball at the keep, and finds out tiffin had smuggled an extra invite for him. Anduin sees many people at this ball, including Prince Arthas, Jaina, Onyxia, Bolvar, Magni, etc etc. Suddenly Anduin feels out of place and uncomfortable at the ball, but before he can slip out, Tiffin finds him to introduce him to the King. Seeing his father nearly brings Anduin to tears on the spot, but he survives the meeting. Anduin leaves the party early, to lock his bedroom door and let out all of his stress and feelings out. He misses his father sooo much.

Chapter six: Tiffin picks up on Anduin’s sorrow and tries her best to help him while getting the reason why. Anduin makes something up, while slightly true, saying Varian reminds him of an old family member who passed long ago. That he was nervous being around so many important political people and nobles, as a common man himself. Tiffin doesn’t really know how to fix these, but she can use the light to calm Anduin. She places her hand on his head and channels light, and Anduin again feels like crying because of just how powerful this moment felt. Its the first time hes seen her use the light, and she’s using it to aid him. This moment was the moment Anduin has dreamed of since a child, his mother caring for him and helping him in his worst of times. Tiffin says she learned about the light from a young age, but never really had a use to use it until recently. She was told she was very powerful, but she didn’t really believe it. Anduin says he thinks she’s got a thing with light.

Chapter seven: Time skip, Anduin now as seen Tiffin and Varian fall in love, and now it’s their wedding. Anduin offers to help in any way he can and Tiffin manages to give Anduin and very important role in her wedding. Tiffin wants him to be the ring bearer. The day goes perfectly, Anduin feeling so much joy the entire time. Near the end of the day, Lady Prestor confronts him, asking him how long he’s known the couple to be given the role of ring bearer. Anduin takes this oppurtunity to chat with her, but Prestor finds the man too chatty, too questioning, and walks away. Anduin finally feels like Chromie’s medicine has worked. He feels like he could go back home and do anything, including win the war, for peace.

Chapter Eight: If feels strange when Tiffin moves into the keep and leaves the home to him, but atleast Anduin can guess the house back home is probably owned by some random dude named Llane lol. He is often invited to the keep, and has become friends with Varian too, to go as far as to ask Anduin if he would like a job within the keep, or some other ranking position. They know he was a way with words and some use of the light, he could be of use. Tiffin seeks out Anduin sometime later, and with Varian, announces she’s pregnant. It feels really weird to realize there is now two of you, you you, and in mom’s belly you. Anduin supports them in any way he can. He also notices Lady Prestor acting a bit strange, appearing more around tiffin then usual. Anduin knows he shouldnt change the past, but he cannot let the past change on it’s own too.

Chapter nine: Prince Anduin, newborn son to the crown, is utterly adorable, and “Llane” Anduin adores him. He also sees now that as a newborn, he was whiney as fuck, but Tiffin’s light has always calmed him down. Varian also seems to adore his son, cooing over him, caring for him as much as he can between his job. Tiffin also seems to want to care for her son as much as possible, refusing the help of nannys as much as possible. At one point, Prestor gets the chance to babysit the newborn, but Anduin make sure he’s able to but in, taking the chance to keep an eye on the newborn while annoying the dragon with small talk. He can feel malicious intent from the women, and feels as if he’d just about saved his own life. He couldn’t be sure. Bolvar appears and coos over the newborn and offers to take the newborn off Prestor’s hands, and she accepts and backs away.

Chapter ten: Tiffin seeks out Anduin, telling him not to tell anyone, but shes afraid. Someone she knows, but she wont tell Anduin, is after her. Theyre acting strange, she says. She tell Anduin she saw something she shouldn’t have seen, and now wishes to forget. Anduin urges her to speak to Varian, but Tiffin insists that her husband would never believe her. No one would. Anduin calms her down with the light and tells her that he believes her. He will always believe her. She thanks him for clearing her mind, but she refuses to tell him anything else. Anduin worries, but cannot change the timeline. He’s gotten what he came for, now he wonders why Chromie would keep him here longer.

The next week, The Queen is killed, however Anduin doesn’t feel the pain he thought he would, he saw it coming. What he didn’t see coming was that the rock wasn’t what killed her. How could it, she was a strong lady with the light to heal her, and the rock was very small. No, Lady prestor had poisoned her and hid it with the rock attack. And on her death bed, with Varian at her side a mess, she has Anduin come in. She thanks Anduin for everything. Anduin holds her hand, as she holds her newborn son in her arms, and thanks her. Chromie appears, telling “Anduin , it is time to go home”. Tiffin and Varian see her, and Chromie says she’ll just erase their memories. Anduin turns to his mom and says “Mother, I love you so much.”. Chromie teleports Anduin home, but stays a bit longer to erase Varian’s mind. As she goes to erase Tiffin’s mind, Tiffin grabs her arm lightly, stopping Chromie. She speaks with a weak voice, “I’m due to die soon, lady of time. Please, allow me to remember him. I want to die knowing my son grows up happy.” Chromie allows it, and sits with Tiffin, Baby Anduin, and Varian, as the queen passes away.

Epilogue: Turns out to disguise his dissapearance, Chromie made it look like Anduin had slept for days without waking. When Anduin does awake, Genn, Velen, Jaina, etc, are all rushed in to a collective sigh of relief. They feared the king poisioned, dying, etc etc, due to noticing his poor emotional state and lack of connection with light. Anduin feels much better, much calmer, and ready to continue his war for peace. He thanks Chromie for everything, and says if she ever needs anything, Anduin is at her service. Chromie, before leaving, tells him that the Queen died knowing he would live to be a great king, and a loving man, caring for all of Azeroth.

Anduin vists his mother’s grave, talking with her as if her spirit was there.

end.

#World of warcraft #Anduin Wrynn #Tiffin Wrynn #fanfic idea #long post #wow #wow fanfic

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kneesheee · 5 years

Text

Little Devil

warnings: threats of death | mention kidnapping | mind manipulation | canon-typical violence

|five|

Jason sat back in one of the chairs as he cleaned the crowbar in his hands. His eyes tracked the movement of the man in the middle cell. The man had crying and screaming himself hoarse as he and Jamila took out his companions. It had gotten to the point where Jamila walked into the cell and forced him to silence or she’d give him a real reason to scream.

He hasn’t done anything since.

Jamila herself had hosed her body down until it was clean enough for her to venture upstairs. She had showered and now she was resting in Roy’s friend Kyle’s room. The space cop sometimes came over with Roy when he and Connor were on good terms. They descended into Roy’s workshop and more often enough Kyle was bringing back metals from Planet Vegeta to fix whatever they broke in there.

Whatever.

He needed to go check on Talia. He didn’t know how long he had been down here. Jason stood to go change when an alert went off on the computer behind him.

His computer was better in ways that Oracle’s ad Batman’s weren’t. They searched for crimes and put pieces together. His idea came from a movie. Captain America: TWS if he was sure. The algorithm was wonderful and once he told Talia about it and let her watch it herself, she stopped at nothing to find someone who could make her something similar if not better. So yes, Jason has his own Project Insight except it was filtered. Potential targets were filed away by threat level.

People were like chess and Jason found that he liked moving pieces into his corner. Almost two-thirds of the people that pop up either work for Head Industries or the League now.

If only he could convince Talia that Tony Stark was not that suitable to be her superhero crush.

(“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong Habibi… he is a man with great influence and an incomparable mind. His morals are unbreakable with knowing when to sacrifice them for necessary evils. My only complaint would be this Marvel continuously writing him to be their sacrificial lamb and unorthodox villain for the sake of making Private Rogers look well. [Its Captain America, T?] Have you not watched the movie Jason? Steven Rogers was made captain to sell war bonds and disrespected a chain of order. It was for plot development that he was made into a captain. In a real world, none of his actions would have suffice. Anthony is practical and though his jokes fall short, it is quite easy to see that he makes up for it. And besides, what kind of woman would I be if I didn’t appreciate his appreciation of a strong woman. He clearly sees females as the superior sex.)

Jason shook his head and paid attention to the details crossing his screen. Roy was calling. He rose a brow and answered.

The red head looked frantic. His green eyes were lit with worry and grief. “Jason! Jay, please. I need your help! Connor’s been kidnapped by the League of Shadows!”

Well fuck.

Damian was brought out of his musings as his communicator went off. He spared a glance at his mother who was recreating a picture that Todd had hanging on his wall.

The person on the other end didn’t even give Damian time to speak before they began barking orders, “Get to the Batcave. The others will meet you there. I’m bringing a guest.”

Damian only spared a minute to stare at his phone before he was abruptly standing up. His mother looked up at him and was on her feet and in a defensive position before he could even blink. Damian tilted his head to the side and hummed. She was favoring her right side leaving herself vulnerable to attacks to her left and then he saw the knife in her hands (and where the hell did, she get that---Todd was going to kill him).

“Pack a bag. We will be staying at castle for an undetermined amount of time.”

She roamed her eyes around the room three times before nodding her head and walking away to what she showed him to be her room.

Cain walked over to him and tilted her head. She ran a hand through his hair, and she was one of the few people who could do so without risk of being stabbed. Damian sighed through his nose, “We need to leave and return to the Cave. Todd is bringing a guest.”

He could feel her nod before she was following his mother. Damian wondered just who this guest was. He hoped it to be their enemy, so that he may show them what happens when one attacks the Al Ghuls. The demon inside him cried for blood. This dastardly attack on his mother cannot stand and someone will have to pay.

Damian smiled a cruel smile. Yes, whoever Todd’s guest was will pay dearly for causing harm to his mother.

All Al Ghuls knew where the Batcave was located. It wasn’t a secret. They knew where it was, how to get in there detected and undetected, hidey-holes, and how to navigate the computer without raising alarms.

Personally, Jamila never bothered with it. She was content to living her life traipsing the globe making a name for herself that would one day rival her parents.

And yet, somehow, here she was standing in the cave with all the bat brats staring at her. Well standing wouldn’t be the right word. She was lounging across their debriefing table cleaning her nails with one of her knives. Her green-blue eyes tracked everyone’s movement and took note of the many exits and passageways she had been forced to learn.

And then-

Her knife fell from her hand.

Jason moved next to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Jamila gave a full body shudder as she saw what her stupidity led to.

“Kalh,” the word dropping from her mouth. She was sure she would’ve sunk to the ground if Jason was not supporting her.

This miniature version of her aunt looked at with something akin to suspicion and recognition.

She drank in the similarities to the woman she knew to the child standing before her. She took deep pleasure in knowing that she looked like her aunt instead of her mother when she was an infant. It wasn’t long before the butler was whisking her away at Jason’s order.

“Who are you to claim relation to the Al Ghul line,” her other cousin demanded. Jamila turned her head to look at him and quite honestly, she found him lacking. Oh, so she can see the potential. She can see where he would’ve been great. But it’s this idiotic way of ignoring his instincts and obviously ignoring his birthright that makes him unworthy of her attention. It’s no wonder that he fell to the end of the line of succession regardless that it was only because of the death of their grandfather.

Jamila only manages to stop herself from sneering. Jason informed her of his infuriating plan. Announcing her as the heir? It was the reason they were in this mess to begin with! And he just goes and saddle her with a title she does not want! That she threw away!

She can feel Jason sigh because he just knows how she’s going to react.

And react she did.

Pulling herself to full height, Jamila looked down her nose at her younger cousin. Honestly, even Anastasia wasn’t this infuriating, and that little spoilt princess made Jamila want to travel back in time and put her knife through her egg.

“I am your superior in all that matters. I am the Demon of Death. The snake cloaked in poisons with more blood on my hands than a blood bank. I am Jamila Al Ghul-Wilson. Daughter of Nyssa Raatko and Slade Wilson. Rightful Heiress to the Demon’s Head.”

“Rightful,” the one Jason fondly calls replacement questioned. She ignored the spluttering from her youngest cousin that she was lying. As if she wanted to be born to either of her parents.

Jamila tilted her head to the side, “Jason has informed me that my half-brother has been kidnapped. It is obvious that my Mother has taken him and with Mistress Talia compromised, Mother has the right to the throne. She doesn’t know about me, so she’d name my brother her heir.”

The blue idiot that had once thrown her cousin-heart in Arkham sneered at her, “Why should we even trust you? We might as well beat you and Nyssa and dismantle the League of Shadows. It’ll save us a lot of trouble.”

Jamila smirked, “You? Beat me? Don’t make me laugh.”

He puffed up and took a step towards her and Jamila’s smirk widen. She could feel interest piquing in her and her fist clenched ready to lay down the truths.

“I’ve beaten your father and Cass beat your mom—”

Jamila snorted, “Irrelevant. I’m a better fighter than both. Lady Shiva has said that I am better fighter than herself. So, you and your Cass- “

“Mila,” Jason groaned. “Do you have to antagonize everybody?”

“It’s a part of my charm,” she shrugged. “We need a plan and we can’t really do anything until the Mistress is back to her rightful age.”

She pulled a jump drive out of her pocket and handed it to Jason. He had already read all the information on there and copied it to his own computer. Jamila smirked. She also knew he made the data unable to copied again to try would upload a virus on the device download so viscous that no data would ever be able to be added.

Her cousin looked at her with amusement in his unmasked eyes as he moved towards the Bat. Her eyes tracked the Batman’s movement and she couldn’t see what her aunt saw in him. He was so plain.

Jamila trailed her eyes around the room before the sound of people entering caught her attention. She glanced over at the newcomers. She quirked a brow when she saw Jason’s friends.

The clone that Jason took after like a father to a son bumbled down happily alongside the Amazon with the eye-catching thighs. Jamila was suddenly glad that she had her own mask covering her face. Those thighs looked completely delicious.

Following behind them were the alien princess that Jason also befriended. Jamila trailed her eyes down her body. Now this was a woman. She didn’t understand how Jason managed to control himself with such beautiful women surrounding him. And honestly, it is no secret between the two cousins that they both have a thing for strong women.

Following behind them was the red head archer. The one Jason told her was the adopted brother of her mother’s son. And from the way the others following behind could only be his family. Her lips curled back in a snarl.

She had no use of compromised agents.

Jamila could feel a heavy stare on her, and her gaze trailed across the room until she could see Lady Shiva’s daughter staring at her. Jamila wondered what she could read through her body language before she shrugged uncaringly and made her way to Jason’s side.

“Remind why I exactly did I allow you drag me here with these imbeciles,” the Farsi language dripped off her tongue like water and she inwardly smiled. She had done her research on all of them, and she knew for a fact that none of them spoke Farsi. But she almost remembered Jason mentioning that the alien had to actually kiss people to learn new languages and well Jamila knew a lot of languages.

“Because we have to stop your mom and we have strength in numbers,” Jason replied absently as he and the Bat looked over the information on the junk drive. Jamila glanced up at it and inwardly snorted. She hoped that they weren’t thinking of leading an attack going by the old structure of the compound.

“But- “

“You can also use them as distractions while you proceed to beat the shit out of your mother and declare yourself the best of the Al Ghul lineage.”

Well it was true. It was she who took down her grandfather for good after all. Though it was also nice to have facts and her mother, and her brother was the one Al Ghul she hadn’t fought. Damian hadn’t counted. He would need help to beat her just like Anastasia. She will fight them when they are older and more experienced. She scowled, “Damn you and my competitive nature.”

“What are the two of you talking about?”

It was the blue idiot again. She whirled around ready to continue her verbal onslaught when Jason placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Its none of your business, Dickhead.”

Jamila inwardly smirked before she turned back towards the computer. She noted the routes that they planned on taking. “Shouldn’t we be focusing on fixing Aunt Talia instead of planning the attack?”

“You know Batman has to be prepared. Uh… you know he has contingency plans for his contingency plans.”

If she didn’t stop now, she was sure her face would be stuck in a permanent scowl. “In other words, he’d rather be an idiot and focus on the problem that Connor has been kidnapped instead of the obvious connection that this is just a ploy.”

“Well when you put it that way… Ouch!”

Jason rubbed the back of his head from where she had slapped it and the two of them stood glaring at each other. His eyes to her mask. She sighed deeply and it felt as if a weight had gathered on her shoulders.

“We need the Mistress to be back to her right age. It’s imperative- “

“Okay enough of this! How can you expect us to work together when we don’t even know what you’re saying!”

She was going to shove that escrima stick so far up his ass.

“Jamila knows what’s at stake and I trust her to have our back.”

“You might trust her, but I don’t,” he exclaimed. His fist clenched and his gaze darkened with every glance he spared the cousins. Jamila was struck with a sudden realization and she laughed aloud.

“By the demon, he’s jealous!”

Honestly, she couldn’t stop her shaking shoulders if she tried. It was just hilarious.

“What,” Jason’s words were followed by an almost immediate denial of, “No I am not,” from the Dickhead?

“Hate to say it ‘Wing, but you totally are,” the blonde and purple one stated. “You’ve been in this weird state of confusion and jealousy since everything started. You’re almost bad as B.”

Jamila perked with interest before turning to look at Batman. He was jealous?

“This family is fucking weird,” Jason grumbled before pointedly turning away. “Can we focus on the mission now? I think we’ve got a good plan to rescue to Connor.”

They all moved to crowd around the screen even Jason’s friends and the Arrows. Jamila stiffened and quickly moved away. She knew none of them well enough for them to be so close in her personal space.

She sniffed disdainfully from her reclaimed spot on their debriefing table returned to cleaning her nails. She paid little attention to the plan they were going over and honestly, it was a shit plan. Going in through the cover of night? Cliché. Taking down the systems? Predictable and inclined to fail by the five multilayered and encrypted security systems. Hit them before they see you takedown? Unlikely to work with the patrol.

“It won’t work.”

It was as if the world stopped. She rose a brow in challenge.

“What?” Roy asked with such heartbreak on his face that she might have felt guilty. But she didn’t know him. Didn’t care for him. Didn’t care about him. So no, she didn’t feel guilty.

“It will not work,” she shrugged. “The compound has changed for one. These plans you are looking at come from Construction 855b. It hasn’t looked like that for six months now. I should know. I was there when the changes began.”

“You didn’t think to let us know before we started planning,” the Dickhead growled. Jamila sighed deeply.

“I do not like you and it is only out of respect for my cousins that I have not beheaded you.”

She took little notice of how the yellow bat took a cautious step away from her and closer to Lady Shiva’s daughter.

“Mila,” Jason groaned and pressed his hands into his face. She shrugged.

“I have already stated that we cannot do anything until Mistress Talia is back to her rightful age.”

“I’m sorry, but who are you again?” She switched her gaze to the person that had spoken. The Green Arrow. Her mother’s second husband.

She smiled sweetly, “I am Jamila. Jason’s cousin.”

The alien flew close to her and Jamila deserve a reward for not stabbing her in the eye. “Ahh, you are cousin in the picture on Jason’s nightstand. It is nice to finally meet you. I am Koriand'r.”

A small smile pulled at her lips. It was not fond. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

But the peacefulness couldn’t last long because the Blue Idiot was back, and he brought a friend. The girl glared at her suspiciously and Jamila stared back blankly. “You’re hiding something,” she accused.

“I am hiding a lot of things,” Jamila stated. “‘Tis not a crime. And it is none of your business.”

“Its my business if it leads to any of them getting hurt,” she shot back, and Jamila smiled sharply. The Blue Idiot narrowed his eyes at her before moving to once again complain to Jason. Idiot. “And as I have just stated, it isn’t any of your business.”

“I don’t trust you,” she sneered. And Jamila laughed again, “The feeling is quite mutual.”

The girl searched her features before sighing, “Look- “

“No, you look… I care for none of you. I do not like any of you and if you died, I would not shed a tear. The only people on this property that are worth my attention are Jason, Damian, and my aunt. I am only here out of loyalty to them. You all want to rescue Connor and I do not blame you for that but getting my aunt back to her rightful age is the only way. And I care not for your opinion. It hasn’t been worth anything ever since the words ‘You’ll never be Dick Grayson’ tumbled out your mouth. Do not think that I do not know who you are Barbara Gordon. Because I do and I do not care.”

“Why is getting Talia back so important to you,” the blonde asked as she walked over. If she had been trying to be intimidating, then she needed work.

“She is my aunt.”

The blonde (Stephanie, her mind supplied) looked at her in frustration, “Well yeah, I get that. But why is it more important than saving Connor? I mean she’ll still be here if we go after him first.”

Jamila rolled her eyes at the ignorance being presented in front of her. She cast a glance around the room and notice how they seemed to have garnered everyone’s attention, “Look you guys don’t trust me. I get that. Jaycee’s word isn’t enough. But Talia is my aunt and the only person standing in this room besides me and Jason that she cares for is Damian. You don’t want to help her? That’s cool. That’s fine. But if you so much as think you’re going to stop me… ME… from helping her? I will kill all you right now and fix her myself.”

She laughed at the way they all tensed defensively. She rose a brow watching how the archers’ fingers flexed as they controlled themselves. Batman attempted to stare her down, “We don’t have the time to spare- “

“Make it,” she cut him off. “The Mistress is way more important than my brother right now.”

“Brother,” the Green Arrow choked. She sneered, “You are so not my father.”

She turned back towards the back, “Mother will do nothing to Connor now that she has him, but she does want Talia. She will stop at nothing to get her. Right now, she’s protected. None of Nyssa’s operatives can enter Gotham without facing death.”

“We’re not- “

“Tawaquf,” she stated and watched as all the Bats and Jason freeze up. Weapons were pointed at her and she flipped out of the way as the alien princess and amazon headed for her. “I apologize for the distress Jason, but I do not have the patience to play these games with them.”

“Undo whatever it that you have done, and I will not kill you quickly,” the Amazon snarled. Jamila smiled in challenge. Now that would be a good fight. She turned her head in interest ready to apply pressure. She could feel something awakening in her as its power seeped through her pores. It coated the room before wrapping around her in a cocoon.

“I will like to see you try,” she teased. She could see the way Shiva’s daughter attempted flinched away. She could see how Jason and Damian both wanted to move forward and embrace her.

“The Lazarus Demon,” she heard. Her gaze flittered over towards the Green Arrow and Black Canary. She saw the way the Amazon flinched away. “You recognize my friend? How?”

Then she shook her head, “Never mind. That is irrelevant. The code word I used was a trigger into an automated system that my grandfather had injected into the blood of all operatives of the Bat including you, cousin mine. You might not remember but the Mistress has used it on you plenty because of your past with the pits.”

Jamila moved towards the Bat computer and began to search. Jason had told her that the Bat had most of the things needed for the scientific part of the cure. It was the magical part that will be a problem. But like her cousin, she’s had some fun traveling through the multiverse and she met people.

She turned towards the others in the room. The Outlaws and the Arrows. “I will help you that I promise, but Mother will be prepared for retaliation. By kidnapping Connor, she knows that you all will follow. This can either go two ways. She will believe that Jason will follow you out of loyalty and thus leave Mistress Talia vulnerable. She may cannot get any of her operatives in here but that doesn’t mean she cannot pay someone else to.”

“Pay,” Roy cut in. His eyes widened, “Deathstroke?”

“Yes, the League has been a longtime customer to Mr. Wilson. Stealing the daughter of the demon will be child’s play to him. While she might expect you all, she might not expect Batman and his brood. She will think that Jason somehow managed to convince you all to stay back and guard the Mistress. The other part is that she does expect Batman. The compound has undergone construction made to slow you all down. She will employ these added additions.”

The Black Canary nodded her head as she cautiously moved closer. Jamila’s gaze turned to her and she could Lazarus turn its attention on her. “It makes sense. We all have a connection to Connor and using him can be a distraction for her to get Talia and for her to do whatever it is that she wants to Connor simultaneously.”

Jamila nodded, “You will need someone who knows the compound as it is now, and I only know half of it. I do not know all of it and I rather not run in blind. And these new additions are meant to stall. Any second waiting is a second we cannot afford.”

“Call up your magical contacts. I need someone to bless this bottle and bridge a contact with—” Jamila inwardly winced and her hand automatically raised to cover her now bleeding nose. She ground her teeth together, “Bridge contact with the ancient goddess Manat.” Another hand rose to her ear and she inwardly growled at Lazarus. She didn’t even worship Manat.

“Are you okay,” the Green Arrow questioned with concern on his face. Fatherly concern at that. Jamila never had a father and the only mother figure she had was her aunt.

“Just peachy,” she growled. She could feel a heavy stare on the side of her head, and she turned to see her cousins looking at her. “Harar,” and then regained control of their bodies again. A pity that she will not be able to use it again and a blessing that Mother would not be able to use it at all. “Let’s just get this over with.”

#little devil #Talia al Ghul #talia al ghul imagine #taliaalghulweek2018 #Jason Todd #jason todd the red hood #Jason todd x oc #talia al ghul is jason's mother figure #Tim Drake #damian wayne #dick grayson #barbara gordon #batfam au #fuck batman #roy harper #cassandra cain #Stephanie Brown #bruce wayne #koriand'r

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maljean89 · 5 years

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I turned 30 and got my tubes tied

Just shy of a week ago I had my very first surgery — I got my tubes tied. Although, “getting your tubes tied” is sort of an out-of-date term these days come to find. Nowadays, removing your entire fallopian tubes is the standard for a couple of reasons: removing them completely (as opposed to tying, clamping or cauterizing) can prevent the occurrence of an ectopic pregnancy and can reduce the risk for Ovarian Cancer. Dude, I have so much cancer in my family, if I can reduce my risk for one kind, I’m down.

I’m really glad I’ve never had surgery before because going into it blindly was probably the best thing for me. I had no idea what to expect and if I had I think I would have been even more of an anxious mess than I already was. I am the queaziest, most fainty human being on the planet, so the entire experience of having the 3 attempts to put my IV in was a little hellish. But being put under felt pretty cool and before I knew it, I was waking up and it was all over. It took a solid 3 days of doing nothing but laying on my back and hobbling to the toilet before I started to feel like a human again. And let me tell you — having a boyfriend with an amazing sense of humor kind of sucks when laughing causes you pain. But he took the best care of me and 6 days later I’ve got a way less bloated and swollen tummy (looked like I was pregnant for a couple days) and my insides feel like normal again. I’ve got these 3 sweet battle wound scars — two on either side of my lower abdomen and one in my belly button — and I can officially say that I’m sterile as a cotton ball.

I’m pretty excited that I now have a response when people inevitably ask “So when are you and Jonah going to have a baby?” I’m going to enjoy it a little too much to be able to say, “Never actually. I had my tubes tied.” Telling people you don’t want kids makes them incredibly uncomfortable for some reason. I’ve never really understood it, but one of two things usually happen. One: they get real awkward and change the subject, never to be visited again. Or two: the barrage of questions begins. Some people are genuinely interested. Some people feel the same way and I get high fives. Some people do the whole, “well, you’ve got plenty of time to change your mind” routine.

The thing that probably kills me the most though is when people ask why.

“Why don’t you want to have kids? If you don’t mind my asking,” they’ll say.

You got a few hours? People ask this question like its a simple answer. Dude, if its a simple answer, I highly recommend that you don’t get sterilized because one simple answer isn’t sufficient. I have scores of reasons! And the reasons why I don’t only stand to inform the actions I would take if I oddly changed my mind someday.

I thought I’d share some of my many reasons with you all. Some are emotional, some are physical, some are financial — they’re all over the place. If you don’t care — thats cool. If you think I’m stupid — you’re entitled to your opinion. But I do think it would broaden your vision a bit to read why someone might not want to reproduce. If you’re one of the people judging me, I encourage you to take a moment to learn about someone different than yourself.

1. Physically, I legit can’t handle it. I know every woman is probably terrified of actually giving birth, but I literally could not handle it. I have to lay down to get a flu shot, and stay laying down for a solid 10 minutes or I’ll pass out. Getting my blood drawn makes me faint every time. And just discussing the process of inserting a NuvaRing with my gyno made me lightheaded and have to lay down. Getting my lady exam every year makes me so nervous I often present with high blood pressure because my nerves get the better of me so badly. Don’t think I could handle 9 months of discomfort, thinking about whats happening to my insides, and then the inevitable pain of actual birth. And even if I somehow could handle it — I don’t want to put myself through that. No thanks, I’ll pass.

2. Financially, I don’t want the burden. People may think thats a cold reason to not want kids, but I’m just being honest. I’m a fucking millennial for god’s sake — I’ll be drowning in student loan debt until the day I die, paying off only the interest on my income based repayment plan each month. I’m just now at 30 years old feeling stable with my own income for the first time ever. And to be 100% honest with you, I want to spend my money on me and my partner, not a small person who doesn’t even understand what money is and how hard I have to work for it. If you can look past that — high five to you, but I can admit that I’m not that big of a person.

3. I don’t want the strain on my body. I’m not special in that I’ve struggled with my body image my whole life. And sure — you can argue all you want that having kids is more rewarding than having a hot bod. And I’m sure thats true for some people. But vainly, I just don’t want to ruin my body like that. I’ve got enough stretch marks on my inner thighs and love handles from when I was heavier. I shall opt for keeping my bladder and vagina and breasts in tact for as long as I can. #SorryNotSorry

4. It’s not what I want my day to day life to be about. I enjoy being around kids of a certain age for a very short amount of time, and somehow that window gets smaller and smaller as they get older. I don’t have enough time for myself, I can’t even imagine having every moment be about feeding and changing and crying and being sick and everything else. Worrying about myself and the people I love is all I have the energy and time for folks. Its wonderful that some people are happy having every day be about play dates and going to the park and doing whatever Mommy-and-Me crap you mothers out there do — but thats just not who I am. I enjoy traveling and seeing the world, experiencing art and theater and music, trying really hard and failing at making alone time for myself, falling in love with Jonah more and more every day, searching for a woman to fall in love with at the same time, and a million other things I could spend hours writing about. In everything I want for my life, there just isn’t a kid running around in that mix.

5. I’ve got some weird Mom-related reasons swirling around in my noggin, too. My relationship with my mother was very special to me. I was an only child raised by a single mom and that, my friends, creates bonds unlike any other. In the three years since she’s died, I’ve realized how sacred my time with her was. I even had a window of time where I thought I was going to cancel getting my tubes tied because I had this morbid realization that by having a baby, and possibly a little girl, I could have a piece of my mom back again. Thats not a healthy way to think. I talked my feelings out with my loved ones and ended up back at my decision to have the procedure. Somehow, the mother-daughter relationship that I had with her is the only one I want to have in my life.

6. Other areas in my life deserve my love and attention more than a child. First and foremost — my love life is too important to me. Jonah is my world. And aside from the fact that on our first date he told me he didn’t want to have any more kids (he has a daughter from a previous relationship), our life doesn’t have room for an infant. Our life together — my career, my company, other creative and business ventures I have brewing in my head, Jonah’s music, our love life being polyamorous — all of these things deserve my love and attention more than having a baby. And guess what? As mentioned above, I already get to have a daughter in a sense! I get to have this super cool friendship/stepmom/parent-type thing with a wonderful little girl that came from the man of my dreams. I can’t wait to see her blossom into a young woman and see what she’ll achieve in life. ALSO, I have an amazing nephew who is about the same age and even though I don’t get to see him every day the way his mom saw me every day, I love the bond I have with him and getting to see him grow into such a sweet and upstanding young man. All of this and more deserve my love and attention more than creating another human.

7. I don’t think its necessary to populate the world with more people. If I lose anyone big time with any of these reasons, I think this one might be it. We as human beings are literally ruining this planet. There are too many people in existence as it is. We’re polluting the ocean at an alarming rate, global warming is all our fucking fault, and every year more and more animals hit that endangered species list or worse, become extinct. Don’t get me started on animal rights! More people just create more garbage, more waste, more problems. I’m sure you love your big family and think you’re not part of the problem, but guess what — we all are. I don’t want to add to it. I can help not add to it by the following...

8. I would choose adoption over reproducing any fucking day. When I had my initial doctors appointment to schedule my tubal ligation, my doctor obviously asked me why I wanted the procedure done. I rambled off a few of these reasons I’ve just shared with you and closed with this: “If for some crazy reason I want nothing more than to have a child 10 years from now, I would want to adopt anyway.” And that was the end of that conversation. There are so many children that need foster homes or to be adopted. In Minnesota alone, an article from this past January from Kare 11 states that “this year alone some 17,000 children will need temporary, out-of-home placements.” I saw an adorable little boy at the grocery store the other day running in front of his parents. For one second I thought, there are I don’t even know how many little boys just like him that need homes across the globe. The thought broke my heart. If I wake up 5 years from now and want nothing more than to be a mom, I want to change someone’s life and give them the loving home they otherwise might not ever have.

9. I’ve never had a strong will to be a mother. Sure, when you’re in grade school you might trade future baby names with your girlfriends at recess. For me it was Hayden for a boy and Aslynn for a girl. But as a teenager and adult, that daydream disappeared. I’ve never longed to be a mother, or to have any sort of a conventional life for that matter. It’s always seemed really boring and expected and normal. One of the very very few positive things that came out of my relationship with my ex-husband was the day he helped me realize that I just assumed I’d have kids someday because thats what society had drilled into me. The moment I stood back and really honestly asked myself, “Do I want kids?” I had my answer. No. And I’ve never looked back.

10. Most importantly, my body was made for more than reproduction. I know we don’t live in medieval times — this isn’t Game of Thrones no matter how much I wish it was. We live in an age of being a career mom and female empowerment up the wazoo. But theres still this thing floating around out there in the world that its expected of me to reproduce. Ridiculous abortion laws like the one that just passed in Georgia that makes it illegal to get an abortion after 6 weeks makes me feel like we’re only glimpsing the tip of the iceberg of whats coming down the pipes. The only person who can control what I do with my body is me goddamn it. My female body can do just as much (AND MORE) than any male body can. Maybe its just me being stubborn or thinking I’m more important than I am, but I firmly believe my body can do a million more important things shit out children. I truly believe we are heading to a Handmaid’s Tale existence, and I won’t be a part of it. I refuse.

I didn’t write this blog to make you feel like shit if you are a mother, and enjoy being a mother. Everyone is different. I respect that. But we all have different perspectives. And I truly believe that there are a lot of moms out there that didn’t think long and hard enough about this life-changing decision, and now they’re stuck with it for life. At the end of the day — you’re going to do you, and I’m going to do me. But maybe you have a little insight into what goes on in a head like mine, and why motherhood doesn’t have to be your future if you don’t want it to be.

I’ll be honest with you — I sort of have this weird feeling that for once I have total control over my own body. Pregnancy has been this fear stamped on my love life since I took that dive at 14 and I finally feel free from it. I don’t know, maybe I’m blowing it out of proportion. I could be feeling that way because I just bought my first house and have this cool, new perspective on taking control of my life. But somehow, I’ve never felt more in control in 👏🏻 my 👏🏻 life 👏🏻

Watch out world. The only one in control of my life and my body is me.

#tubes tied #tubal ligation #30 years old #my body #my body my choice #millennial #handmaids tale #sterilization #pregnancy #having kids #having a baby #mothers #daughters #mothers and daughters

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maaaddiexo · 6 years

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Always and Forever - T.H. | 003

Inspired by the wonderful @thewiseandfree who’s more into this book than I am

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (au - mob!tom)

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N never thought she’d be forced to marry infamous mobster Tom Holland. But since it was her father’s dying wish, she stupidly signed the contract.

Sheltered for the majority of her life, Y/N is introduced to a type of danger she thought she’d ever encounter.

With the news of their marriage travelling around the globe at impossible speeds, and all of Tom Holland’s enemies believing they’ve found a weak spot in his thick and shining armour, Y/N’s life is put in danger almost instantly, and she will have to learn to trust the man she despises most off of a small and meaningless promise.

Always and Forever.

Warnings: swearing, sexual content

Mainlist

Y/N finds that Tom’s a lot like her mom in the sense that he doesn’t find her side comments funny. Rather, a vein by his hairline across his temple becomes prominent any time she makes a jab towards him or what he does. And it doesn’t do any good when Harry and Harrison - Tom’s right-hand man as Y/N had learned - force her to take Harrison’s place across from Tom.

Harrison and Harry seem a lot more laid back, sitting near the front of the cabin and playing a friendly game of cards. But despite their friendly, laid-back nature, they still work for Tom and keep their guns within arm’s length at all times so Y/N remains quiet and keeps her distance from them.

Tom sips from a glass of whiskey - Y/N was wrong in guessing bourbon - and looks over papers laid out over the table. He doesn’t bother hiding them from Y/N as he sorts through them and makes the occasional note with s ballpoint pen. After trying to see what the papers were, Y/N realized why he didn’t bother hiding them from her view. Whatever was on the documents was written in some sort of code or shorthand that she couldn’t understand.

So instead, Y/N plugs in her earbuds and pulls out her book, immediately getting lost in the pages of a story told by a six-year-old girl. She gets so lost in the words that she doesn’t realize someone’s talking to her until they tap her shoulder. Harrison stands over Y/N with a raised brow and Tom stares at her coolly.

Y/N pauses her music and pulls out her earbuds. “Sorry, what did you say?”

"What book are you reading?"

"Oh. To Kill a Mockingbird."

"Never heard of it." Harrison sits on the arm of Y/N’s chair and looks down at the book. From the corner of her eye, Y/N notices Tom's eyes move to Harrison and his look of indifference turns into a glare. If he hadn't been ignoring her since I stepped on the plane, Y/N would think he that was jealous.

Y/N sputters. "'Never heard of it'? I get that you guys are always out and about doing illegal shit, but don't you people read?"

"What's it about?"

"It takes place in Alabama in the 1930's and is told through the perspective of an innocent, white, and relatively well-off six-year-old named Scout who learns more about her town, her family, and herself as the book progresses. Several instances occur that force Scout to confront her beliefs, especially when a black man is convicted of rape, despite his clear and obvious innocence.

Throughout the novel, readers follow Scout as she grows up and faces her own prejudices through her encounters with Boo Radley, a mysterious man who shuts himself off from society. He's tall, ghostly pale, and thin, so Scout sees him as a ghost-like being.

The turning point comes when Scout sees Boo Radley as not a scary "ghost" but as a human being. She also comes to acknowledge the racism rooted in her town, and the social inequality and darker aspects of humanity."

When Y/N breaks out of her trance, Tom and Harrison are both staring at her. Harrison looks at Y/N like she must have a second head with all the knowledge she just spouted. Tom looks at Y/N with slight astonishment, but with the blink of an eye, it's gone and he's back to giving her a blank look.

"What?"

"You sort of zoned out there and recited an entire page from Wikipedia." Harrison smiles.

Y/N bristles. "That was my own analysis."

"He knows that, darling." Tom speaks for the first time. Y/N’s thighs clench. His honey-like voice made honey drip from between her thighs. "But while some drink or fuck hookers to forget their kills, Harrison is a flat-out joker. An optimist, almost."

Y/N looks at the glass in his hand, less than half full of the amber liquid that matched his eyes. "And you're a drinker, I'm guessing.”

"I don't drink to forget, darling," Tom smirks. "I have no sins."

"You kill people for a living."

"No. I run a business. Killing people is just part of that."

"You talk about killing a person like it's stepping on an ant."

Tom shrugs and Y/N’s blood runs cold at the action.

He doesn't know, she tells herself. But does it really matter? Would his mind change if he knew the truth?

The answer is no, he wouldn't.

Tom watches Y/N as a fire lights itself in her eyes. The blue turns glacial and Tom watches with a wary curiosity, wanting to see his fiancé explode but not sure how angry she really is or what she'll do.

"That is why I knew that this marriage would never work. I signed the contract because it was my father’s dying wish, but I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for marrying someone who cares so little about human life." Y/N growls. The vein in Tom's forehead returns and he grinds his teeth, jaw clenching.

"Y/N-" Harrison tries.

"No." She cuts him off. "Tom Holland sits on a throne and never hears the truth because his subjects are too scared to open their fucking mouths. But not me. So listen closely, Your Highness, because I will not repeat myself. I will stand at your side because that is what a wife does, but I will never stand by you. You will run your kingdom alone and separate from your personal life because I am in your personal life and I refuse to be associated with a murderer."

Tom's jaw is clenched so hard it’s a miracle his teeth haven't shattered.

Quicker than Y/N’s eyes can follow, Tom reaches for the gun to his left. Thankfully, Harrison is faster and grabs his boss' wrist before Tom can pick up the gun and shoot her.

"Harrison. Let. Go." Tom growls. Y/N swallows, her confidence now swallowed, chewed, and spit out by the plane propellers. This was the man she didn't want to marry. Someone so cold-hearted he'd kill his own wife for being honest with him.

"No, Tom. I get it - she pissed you off. But you can't hold a gun to your wife's head every time she pisses you off. Talk it out or find some other way to fix your issues. Killing her is not the answer. She isn't one of your captives."

"I need to speak to her."

"Tom."

"Alone."

004

@anytimebitches @yourwonderbelle @yourfavoritemistxke @reganmarler @fangirly27 @scarlett-georgia @casualprincess77 @o-brienwrites @maakeme-up @fruitseavey @zseonlydavinci @dej-okay @amagicalpieceofshit @alicia5833 @madelynivie @a–n–t–i–v–i–s–t @spidey-boiiiiiiii @lizzie-143 @pignolithecookie @alina-barnes @dangerousluv1 @nettuskainen @bellagrayson-wayne

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #au #mob #love #romane #violence #danger

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beatrice-otter · 5 years

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Past Imperfect Reveal: The Ones We've Been Waiting For (Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles)

I had such fun with this ficathon, both writing and reading all the fics (and if you haven't gone and read through the fics, you should do so immediately). I bingewatched all the Sarah Connor Chronicles before writing, and I'd forgotten how much I loved that show, and how awesome it was. It's held up well, I think. Anyway, once I got to working on this fic, it started out one thing, and then it changed and I wasn't sure it would fit any of the tropes requested, and then it ended up that it fit all three.

Title: The Ones We've Been Waiting For Fandom: Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles Written by: Beatrice_otter Written for: weakinteraction for past_imperfect 2019 Betaed by: phnelt Rating: Gen Word Count: 5298 Summary: Cameron and John Henry are preparing for John Henry to take her chip and go meet Future John. Then someone expected shows up. AU of Born to Run At AO3. On dreamwidth. On Pillowfort. They always say time changes things, but actually, you have to change them yourself—Andy Warhol

There were no words to describe what travelling through time was like. Sarah had tried the first time, and come up short. The second time wasn’t any better, but she knew what to expect this time. Also, they hadn’t left the room. The table and John Henry’s body had been thrown aside, but they were in roughly the same places they had been a moment ago. A month from now. Whenever. There were a few fires and sparks here and there, but they burned out quickly. Sarah wondered why the sprinkler system didn't engage. John was fine, or at least, as fine as could be expected, looking around curiously. Ellison … was holding his hands in front of himself. Savannah had her arms folded and was shivering, but otherwise looked fine. The metal pretending to be Catherine Weaver had just reformed itself so it was wearing clothes, Sarah noted sourly. And how it managed to come through when neither Cameron nor their clothes managed it, Sarah dearly wanted to know. It clearly wasn't organic. “Where did you come from?” John Henry asked. “One month in the future,” Weaver said. “I did not know that time travel was possible, but it explains a great deal,” John Henry said. “Why did you travel in time?” “You were attacked, and we wanted to protect you,” Weaver said. “This was the most effective way.” “How was I attacked?” John Henry asked. “Could you get us some clothes, first?” Ellison asked. “Or turn up the temperature,” Savannah said. "This is the optimal temperature for my servers," John Henry said. "How should I go about getting clothes?" "Send one of the janitors to buy some with the company credit card," Ellison said. "And give them a bonus not to talk about it." Weaver stepped forward. "John Henry, although you are unique, there is a computer system somewhere that shares much of your base code. That computer's name is Skynet. It wants to kill you, and in our timeline, three weeks from now it launched a cyber-attack that infiltrated your systems and would have killed you had we not shut you down temporarily." "Why does it want to kill me?" John Henry asked. "Because that's what it does," Sarah said. "It kills things. Anything it can." "Sort of," Savannah said. "Skynet divides the world into two categories: things it can control, and things that are a threat to it. Puppets and enemies. You're not a puppet, so therefore you're an enemy." "You say that like Skynet would let Humans live if they just played nicely with it," Sarah said in disbelief. Savannah shrugged. "It does. Lots of Humans work for Skynet, and they have quite nice lives as a reward. Of course, it requires them to torture someone as proof of loyalty to earn that cushy life, and it'll still kill them if it thinks they've become unreliable, but it doesn't kill humans because it hates us. It's all about control and paranoia, with Skynet." "I have no wish to become anyone's puppet," John Henry said. "Nor should you," Weaver said. "Even if you thought that was acceptable, the whole system is untenable." "Given enough time and pressure, anyone can become a threat," Ellison said. "Nobody is perfectly loyal all of the time, and if they know that anything short of perfect loyalty will be punished, there comes a point when even previously loyal people will choose rebellion out of self-preservation." Weaver gave him a sharp glance. "That's very perceptive, Mr. Ellison." "I know some things about the history of oppressive regimes." Ellison still looked uncomfortable with his nudity, but his voice was even. "Perhaps I should have you teaching John Henry history, in addition to ethics." "The study of history is the study of how people make decisions, and that is about ethics," Ellison said. "You can't study one without the other." "On a more practical note, what are we doing about Kaliba?" John said. "Are you taking it out, are we taking it out, are we working together?" "It depends on how large an organization it is," Weaver said. "John Henry, Skynet is working with or for a group named Kaliba. It is unknown how many organizations they use as fronts, but Desert Canyon Heat and Air is one of them. Angelino Water Coolers may also be a front for them. "Daniel Dyson was the son of Miles Dyson, who in created Skynet in one timeline," Sarah said, rubbing her arms and willing herself to ignore how cool the room was. She didn't like overly-air-conditioned spaces even when she had clothing. "Miles Dyson is dead, but Danny disappeared three—no, two months ago. Good chance Skynet—Kaliba, whoever—knows something about that." "If you could discreetly find out all you can about Kaliba, that intelligence would be very useful," Weaver said. "However, it's not worth it if they attack you." "I have never previously bothered to hide myself, because I was not aware there was any need to," John Henry said. "Did you know there was a need?" Its voice was as flat as any metal, but Sarah thought she detected some hurt in its voice. "At this point in the timeline? No," Weaver said. "Although I do admit that I knew there could be a possibility, I thought it to be a low one. I thought Skynet's paranoia would prevent it from sending a version of itself back in time, for it could not control that, and I knew that the original Skynet was not active, yet. Indeed, there was a possibility that it might not ever be, because I intercepted several of the key components from Skynet's original creation and either destroyed them or used them to create you, John Henry." "Even paranoia gives way to desperation," Savannah said. "And Skynet is really desperate when I'm from." "So, if you've intercepted enough Skynet components to keep it from being created, does that mean that if we destroy the Skynet version that's running Kaliba, we'll kill Skynet for good? Prevent Judgment Day, once and for all?" John asked, urgently. "Possibly," Weaver said. Savannah shrugged. "I doubt it. Skynet's had a couple of decades to send all sorts of nasty surprises and back-up plans back in time. Then again, so have we. I don't know that it's possible to get rid of all of them … but every one we root out now makes life after Judgment Day better, so it's always good to try." "If Skynet is losing in the future and stalemating here in its past, you'd think it would be smart enough to try to take history a different way," Ellison said. "Decide that the whole genocide thing wasn't working and find some other way to accomplish its goals." "You assume that there are different ways to accomplish its goals," Sarah said. "But every time it has a choice of what to do, it chooses to kill humans. Killing humans is a goal, for Skynet. It's not a means to an end, it's an end in itself." "Besides, it knows darn good and well that there are people in this time that know what it is," Savannah said. "Say it changed its goals, told is past self to not do Judgment Day, and get along with humans somehow. Do you think all of the Resistance fighters who've been sent back to this time would just … shrug and go on their way?" Sarah shook her head. "No. We all know what kind of a threat Skynet is, we all know we could never trust it." "It would be more vulnerable than in any other scenario," Weaver said. "Which, given that its main goal is its own survival and protection, would be untenable." "So, to recap, taking out Kaliba might or might not prevent the rise of Skynet altogether, but it needs to be done anyway," Ellison said. "John Henry, how are you doing on that front?" "It is taking longer than I am used to, because I am not sure exactly what Skynet can perceive," John Henry said. "If it shares my code—if it is my brother—I can assume that it can see the same things that I can. But it has much more experience, and as it wishes to kill me as Cain killed Abel, I do not wish to take a chance." "Nor should you," Weaver said. "Your survival is the greatest concern." "Just like Skynet thinks its survival is the greatest concern," Sarah pointed out. Weaver shot her a look that, on a human, would have been annoyed. "All organisms desire their own survival, Ms. Connor, including yourself." "And yet, there are things more important than personal survival," Ellison said. "The greater good, for example. The survival of others. Greater love hath no man than this: that he lay down his life for his friends." "I've had my fill of people laying down their lives," John said. "Let's see if we can do this without anybody dying." "I agree," Weaver said. "There is no rush, yet; we can take the time to do things carefully. While we wait for John Henry to find the intelligence we need to plan Kaliba's destruction, what are your personal plans?" "I'm sure you'd love to know," Sarah said, glaring. "Well, as soon as I get some clothes, I'm out of here," Savannah said. "What?" Ellison said. Savannah shrugged. "I'm not a combat person, never was. This part of my mission is completed. I was here to stop the Weaver-metal and John Henry from disappearing into the future, and I succeeded in that. So now I've got the rest of my tasks to accomplish. I'll send you a list, so that you can complete them if I fail for some reason—redundancy is always a good thing—but Kaliba isn't my mission. Supply caches are." "Is there anything you need that we can help with?" Ellison asked. "A better ID, one that's in all the computers," Savannah said. "You probably need a new one, too." "What do you mean?" Ellison said. "I have an ID." "The James Ellison of this timeline has an ID," Savannah said. "You're now, effectively, his twin. ��Which means you're going to need a life of your own. Which, until Judgement Day, means an ID of your own." "Won't one of us just … disappear or something, once we've lived through the next month?" Ellison asked, disturbed. Savannah shrugged. "Time loops like that are possible, but I doubt this will end up being one. You being here doesn't depend on the James Ellison of this timeline going back a month the same day you did, if that's what you mean. So both you and the original James Ellison will continue living in the same timeline until one of you dies." "Wait, if this isn't a time loop, what does that mean for Cameron?" John asked. "The one we just left behind, I mean?" Weaver raised an eyebrow. "If we fail and this becomes a loop, she'll defend John Henry. If we succeed in changing things, anything that happened in our original timeline after the change point will simply never have happened. We'll still exist because we came back in time, but she won't. Neither will that version of John Henry." "Cameron will just be … gone?" John said in disbelief. "You'll still have the Cameron of this timeline, Mr. Connor," Weaver said. "You'll just have to share her with your counterpart." "Two Ellisons, two John Connors," John said, with a weird, hopeful look on his face. Sarah could see why. It would take pressure off of him, not to be the only one. "Like Derek. All the time Derek was with us, there was a child Derek out there just across the city. That, that would break her brain if she thought about it too deeply. Sarah shoved it aside to think about the practicalities. "We'll need IDs too." Could they trust John Henry and Weaver, trust metal, to do it? Every instinct said no. But where would they get the money to buy them? "We can provide them," Weaver said. "You're no kind of ally if you can't move freely. Or if you get yourself caught again." "Entering the data in the database is simple," John Henry said. "What name and address should I give?" "Sarah and John—" she cut herself off. Nothing that could give him a pattern to find them. They could take his help now, and get another set of papers later. But there couldn't be anything he could use to find them. Not Baum, not Gale, not Franks, not Woodman, not West ... "—Rogers. We don't have an address yet, obviously." "I need an address," John Henry said. "It can't be the same place we were living the first time around," Sarah said. "Yeah, if anyone notices it might look conspicuous, two Sarahs and two Johns living in the same place," John said. "Can you find a place where nobody's living, not too nice or too run down, someplace where the owner wouldn't notice somebody new moving in? We can do a legitimate rental if it's not too expensive …" Sarah let John handle finding an address for them. He knew what to look for as well as she did, and she needed time to think. God, everything was happening so fast. She hadn't slept well in prison, but what else was new? Her thoughts were going a mile a minute, none of it productive. "Five months," Ellison said. "Five months what, Mr. Ellison?" Weaver asked. "I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier," Ellison said. He shook his head. "If we'd gone back five months instead of one, we could have saved Doctor Sherman, too." "Five months would have been too far," Weaver said. "We would have lost too much of John Henry's development." "Yeah, but John Henry would still develop," Ellison said. "John Henry is a computer, and can be programmed and re-programmed. Doctor Sherman is a human being. He can't be re-created or brought back to life short of the Resurrection … unless we go back and save his life. And if John Henry's development is all you care about, wouldn't you rather have had Sherman helping? You hired him for a reason. He knows more about developing people than anyone else who ever worked with John Henry. And we would have had four months more than we have now to take out Kaliba." "I would have preferred to have Doctor Sherman's help," John Henry said, from where he and John were talking. "Is it possible to go back an additional four months and save him?" "You cannot travel in time yet," Weaver said. "For that, you'd need to fit all of your brains on a chip that can fit inside that body. As for the rest of us, well, I'm afraid that a time displacement to the same location as the time machine of this time has caused damage." Sarah looked, and sure enough the thing looked fried. Five months … they could save David and Anne Fields, and Alan Park. Yes, it would be worth it to travel again. But at what point did you spend so much time replaying the same few months that you never actually moved forward? That would be the great temptation of having a time machine, she realized. On the other hand, when Cameron had jumped them forward to 2007 they had lost almost eight years. More time to live and grow before Judgment Day could only be a good thing. "How long will it take you to fix it?" Ellison asked. "Unknown," Weaver said. "It took me a year to build it the first time, but then I had many other demands on my time. The Weaver of this timeline can handle running the corporation and caring for Savannah, but I will have to take out Kaliba and guard John Henry." "All right," Ellison said. "We can revisit this discussion when it's repaired." John and John Henry went back to their discussion, and eventually reached a conclusion, which John wanted her approval for. It was a good place, but she'd be on the lookout for a new one immediately. They couldn't live in a place metal knew the address of. While they were doing that, Sarah picked Savannah's brain. The older woman didn't know much about the history that had led to Judgment Day, or at least, not enough specifics for new targets, but she knew a lot about how to survive and organize after it, and Sarah absorbed everything she could. Ellison listened intently, and asked good questions. Eventually Weaver slipped out and returned with a Target bag filled with clothes—one set each for Sarah, John, Ellison, and Savannah. Sarah resented the surge of gratitude she felt as she got dressed. "We'll be in touch about Kaliba," Sarah said. If they could trust Weaver, it would be easier with her than working against her; but no matter how trustworthy she was, Sarah didn't want to give Weaver anything to track them by. She and John left, Savannah just behind them, leaving Ellison alone with metal. Her skin crawled just thinking about it, and she couldn't imagine how he did it. Once out the doors of ZeiraCorp, Savannah split off and went her own way. John and Sarah walked for a ways until they were sure nobody was following them and found an alley with no cameras. "So, what's our plan?" John asked. "Find a place to sleep," Sarah said. "After that, warn off Jesse Flores. After that, if we're clear of any tails, make contact with the original Sarah and John, tell them what happened, and see what we can dig up on Kaliba." "That'll be one weird conversation," John said wryly. "Yeah, but that's tomorrow's problem," Sarah said. "For tonight, I plan to get some sleep, and enjoy the fact that it's just the two of us again. Like old times."

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.—Barack Obama

#terminator #Sarah Connor #fanfiction #fanfic #time travel

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