Okay, internet gay culture has ruined me, because the clerk at the Safeway told me he had just been hate crimed and I genuinely thought he meant "being forced to work retail while gay is a hate crime" but no, the girls in front of me had just been homophobic.
Vividly remembering my seventh grade field hockey team photo. Everyone was making ridiculous faces, as twelve year olds do, except for the only other guy on the team, who was expressionless. I spartan kicked that guy once.
Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin
(AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)
It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.
my negative rizz loser boy who you’d think was combatting the sirens’ song by completely killing the vibe but was actually just trying to sing along with them because he’s a ✨fanboy✨
"astarion is a traumatized abuse victim who deserves kindness" and "astarion is a mean rat bastard man who would rip out your throat for a corn chip if he felt like it" are two statements that can and should coexist
in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda
Every single response I see @neil-gaiman give on this hellsite has the exact same energy as an extremely tired king of a tiny medieval country, pinching the bridge of his nose as he once more decides which peasant the pumpkin TRULY belongs to
Ngl if I had a child with Poseidon, the God of the Seas, and had to pay swimming lessons for my son because he was scared of water, I'd be cursing Poseidon forever like you don't show up, don't pay child support and now you can't even help your actual ocean spawn to swin????
my roommate who is like. the most straight laced cis dude ever. just came into the living room and said "the masculine urge to get pregnant." then stood there for a second before leaving silently.
I feel like I have some of the most random headcanons. but I am lowkey obsessed with the fact that John Dory is so much older than Branch that he potentially could have dated their friends'/peers' parents, and/or anything else funny and possibly entertaining that the large age difference entails lmaokskssbcdsbcjdh