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kendrixtermina · 1 year

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But what do we MEAN by Feeling, Thinking, etc.

I hadn’t put these on tumblr & it occurred to me that I probably should

I think a great amount of the confusion regarding enneagram / mbti combos is that they use the rather vague colloquial terms „thinking“ and „feeling“ to mean different things.

„Thinking“ in the mbti is task-oriented reasoning, „feeling“ is reasoning in terms of intentional actors. Indeed a dichotomy between explaining things through either causes or intentions, living or nonliving systems, seems somewhat inbuilt in the human mind, I think there are experiments that show even babies make this distinction.

Obviously, if you are looking at intentional actors (be it yourself or others), it’s natural for emotions to be a part of that reasoning. Intentional actors usually have feelings; Sticks & tools do not.

You might see that people don’t always make a clean split – a surgeon may treat removing an appendix as a task in which the patient is understood object with parts so he can keep a cool head, a poet might say that the leaves are „dancing“ in the wind to evoke feelings in the reader or express how his perception is colored his own.

„Thinking“ in the enneagram centers of intelligence sense is rather explicit, effortful, ‚system 2‘ thought. (regardless of what kind it is: logic, planning, imagining etc.)

General humans avoid doing that cause it burns alot of sugar and less costly processes work just as well, but some avoid it less than others. Or maybe us head types are just touchy little fuckers that have a more exaggerated response to less stimulus.

The upside of this is that it’s flexible & adaptable to tasks that we never encountered in the savannah, and that it can override our intuitions. Also, if you used explict reasoning you can give a reason for why you arrived at the conclusion, change parameters and „rerun the simulation“.

The downside is that it is slow and costs a lotta juice, also, it doesn’t always have an answer if there is not enough data, whereas intuition & association can almost always supply some usable guess.

„explicit thought“ is needed to apply a method that is counter to our intuitions, to consider multiple factors at once, and to doubt (since doubting requires holding two contradictory ideas in your mind) – its probably no coincidence that type 6, the „pure“ thinking type, is also the most doubting.

„feeling“ here means the middle or mammalian brain, the „associative machine“ or „affect heuristic“.

Enthusiasts of cats or dogs more or less know that they have what we would recognize as a „heart“ – the capacity to bond, social emotions shown through complex body language (and unique personality differences related how how they’re expressed), and also, reinforced learning, which is quite relevant when we consider, say, type 3. Feelingsland is the home of motivation.

Another ability of the associative mind is to intuitive translate things to different scales.

If you’re asked to donate money to protect birds from oilspills, most ppl don’t whip out their financial planners, but decide based on how much emotion they feel about those poor, poor seabirds, and then associatively transfer it from hurt feelings to dollars.

This is why most of us can answer questions like „If dave was as tall as he is intelligent how tall would he be“ or why we can understand each other through poetic expressions like „that hurtful statement felt like being stabbed with a knife“ even if none of us have been in a knife fight. Both emotional pain &physical pain are scales.

Likewise when buying a product, most pll don’t go comparing the specs & the evidence for which is best (well… the 6s among us do.) but we go by what feelings & memories we connect with the product & how it fits our idea of ourselves, & may refuse to touch it if it doesn’t.

However, frequent errors in dog training have to do with how dogs can’t „think“, at least not very well – they have rather good associative memories, but they can’t generalize easily. This is why a dog might have to learn to perform a trick in multiple rooms before it gets that the cue always means the same thing, and why its encouraged to use positive reinforcement over punishment cause the dogs may be unable to deduce why they’re being punished, and just associate „you“ with „pain“. Similar caveats apply with small children whose thinking skills arent fully online yet.

That said, I wouldn’t say humans are the only ones capable of „thinking“ – You could make a good case for Crows, Great Apes, Dolphins, Parrots & Elephants, and maybe even Octopi or Bees. Future planning, symbol use, complex problemsolving…

notably, there’s a third category (thought the two systems approach lumps them together), which is intuitive impressions.

The distinguisher here is that it’s somewhat automatic.

If you decided by thinking you can give reasons, if you decided by feeling you can point out your associations, but in the case of a „gut feeling“ decision, you just „see“ it, or „recognize“ or „guess“.

Just as you „see“ the world around you as distinct objects or, unless you’re a grade schooler, can „see“ what a word means without having to go through each individual letter.

That doesn’t mean it’s not sophisticated: Take for instance the example of a doctor who, after a lot of doctoring experience, can recognize some conditions on sight from skin lesions or a characteristic constellation of systems, or an expert chess player who just „sees“ a strong move or that the game will end in three turns.

This also generates impulses, like recoiling when something suddenly comes at you.

So, in terms of functionality, this includes basic survival machinery like spotting snakes or attractive mates, learning by copying or recognizing from experience, and, crucially, spotting what is normal or expected. The intuitive brain has a sort of „autocomplete“ function where it’s always guessing what’s likely to happen next based on everything it’s seen so far in similar places & situations, & is always on the lookout for stuff that is not right or suspicious.

For example, consider a case where a fireman got the sense that something was „off“, ordered his colleagues out of the room, and then minutes later the floor collapsed. He could not say at first what he had noticed, but he trusted it & acted on it straightaway. Only later could he puzzle together that the noise level was wrong & his ears hotter than normal. He didn’t sherlock holmes style logically deduce that the fire had actually started in the basement, but he knew something wasn’t normal.

If this happens again, though, he is likely to recognize it.

Imagine you’re picking clothes.

If you just grab one, that’s going by impression/impulse. (maybe it seemed comfortable, pretty, „looked right“ according to simple criteria, or was simply your first impulse. )

If you pick one that matches your mood, the impression you want to evoke where you’re going, or the feelings, experiences & memories thar you connect with it, that’s association.

If you briefly stand there thinking about which one’s right for the weather, making a political statement, or fitting some theme, that’s explicit thought.

Consider an ISTJ 1, to pick an uncontroversial combo that won’t derail the example into an argument. That would be someone who does a whole lot of „thinking“ in the mbti sense but not so much „thinking“ in the enneagram sense.

He’s evaluating everything by criteria, task oriented criteria, but probably doesn’t often sit there stressing over what the best criteria are, like his hypothetical 6 cousin might. He has some sensory impression of how whatever it is he works with „should“ look & compares against that – is it right, yes or no? If its not, it jumps out at him right away (Si + intuitive spotting of deviations from norm) he puts it right according some some procedure he has previously learned by copying his teacher or gotten from a rule book (though he prolly reads journals related to his job to have the most up to date procedure & constatly improve to fit his high standards), but which, in day to day life, he now mostly just applies meticulously & dilligently with attention to fine physical detail.

If he notices his method doesnt work, he may stop & explicitly think it through, and maybe come up with a better procedure, but mostly what he has active is his intuitive „seeing“ - & where “explicit thinking” is done it may serve as a “water carrier” to his intuitions, to retroactively rationalize his impressions.

If you had some ISFJ 1 instead much of her evaluation would concern the correctness of their social behavior. (intentional actors) – „oh, lisa’s face looked a tic less enthusiastic than how i remember it last time. Did I do a bad job?“

#enneagram #typology

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messedupessy · 4 years

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♡💙💚💜💘 for Cash/Money and Stretch if you don't mind please?

Ohhh heck yeah some honeymoney bless u anon this will be good UwU ❤

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

Stretch, he a soft romantic at heart and is very open about his feelings, Cash not so much he do not understand love or romance like at all that stuff is alien af to him.

Neither of them are secretly romantic, since Stretch is very openly romantic while Cash just don’t know how, love and romance that you don’t have to pay for is just weird af.

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

Not sure, but Cash possibly but in his weird af way that he do these feeling things, see Cash got this thing where he believes everything and anything can be brought with money, so he will buy people to pretty much be his pets/property, to become their sugar daddy as that’s the only way he knows how.

So it could be possible Cash gets crushing first, without being aware of it because what the fuck are feelings??? While Stretch he is demi af so it would take awhile for him to even grow any romantic feels to start with.

💙: who is more protective?

Cash, he is very, very protective of the people and things he considers that he owns, that are his. So yeah he will be seriously fucking protective of Stretch af.

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

It varies, but probably Stretch though it could be Cash too, but no it’s Stretch he got like shittier health overall even tho Cash does not treat his body the best, bc drugs and sheit.

And taking care of someone who is sick so is it Stretch who is the best at it, Cash is a former rich kid he doesn’t know shit how to take care of someone who is sick. He had servants and shit for that or hired someone to do it for him, though now I can just picture him when he like gets better mentally trying to do it himself but just fucking shit up pft.

💜: who said “i love you” first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

Stretch probably, after a very long time of like waiting for Cash to get to such a mental state that he will understand Stretch isn’t saying it for money or want of anything, just that he actually loves Cash with literally no strings attached. Cash might never say it back verbally but he got other ways to say it back, eventually.

Asks from here

#honeymoney #papcest #fontcest #MessedUpEssy #Essy Answers #Essy's Undertale Headcanons #ask thingie thing #cash is one special boi #he will always be so confused when ppl refuse his money #like just take his money and be his pet???#be normal????#he's so dumb and i love him

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sullina · 2 years

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So... Meliodas with requip magic, anyone?

As a long-time weeb and social outcast in school, I naturally watched Fairy Tail. And holy fuck, Erzas magic is so awesome in several factors: looks, practicality, necessary proficiency in several kinds of weapons, etc.

So Meliodas learning requip magic if given the chance would make total sense, right? So what if Meliodas had learned it sometime before coming to Liones and it would be so fucking funny tbh like

Anytime, be it the middle of the day, the middle of the night, breafast, dinner, whenever! Zaratras ALWAYS saw Meliodas with some sort of sword or dagger, sometimes even a lance or a gigantic axe! And since he saw Meliodas as little more than a traumatized child at the time, he confiscated them a la:

Zaratras: Whatcha got there? Meliodas: a KNIFE Zaratras: NO!

But here’s the thing: Zaratras thought Meliodas only had a handful either salvaged from his home or somehow acquired in Liones with the... allowance (?) the king granted him. But no matter how many weapons the great holy knight confiscated, the next time he saw the blonde, he always had another! And he wasn’t stealing them back, because each and every one was unique!

Now, how does Meliodas have this many weapons? Well, he lived a long time. With not much to do but always needing to make money, it wouldn’t be far fetched to assume he learned how to craft weapons himself. It’s actually a kind of hobby of his, when he needs to clear his head or calm down from something. Hitting things with a hammer can let off a lot of steam. And over the years, he’s made MANY weapons, some he sold, most he kept. They were good quality, too, which is all the more reason for Zaratras to wonder where he got them, because some of these are on the level of sacred treasures! (Meliodas has had a lot of time to hone his craft, and he wasn’t about to make sloppy weapons)

Also, since Requip magic isn’t exactly the Britannian flavor of magic, he sorta keeps it to himself. He uses it, but when asked about it, he says something to dodge the question.

So all the weapons Zaratras confiscates eventually pile up a lot. It started with a drawer, then a small pile, until he had an entire closet full of weapons. He’ll open the door, and hundrets of weapons fall out of the closet in cartoony fashion.

Hendi and Dreyfus: How many- Zaratras, sobbing uncontrollably: I DON’T KNOW

Something Meliodas also confuses a lot of ppl with is how fast he can change outfits. Thanks to his requip magic, it only takes like 3 seconds to completely change his outfit. He’ll go inside a room and come out right after having changed from his casual clothes to full-body armor. Like, you know how in some cartoons and animes are these fashion montages where someone goes inside a dressing room, pulls the curtain for a second and then comes out with a completely different outfit? That’s Mel, but outside of a montage and just in every day life. No one knows how he does it, and he refuses to tell just so he can keep messing with them.

With a way to hide his entire wardrobe though, I can also imagine him having made or requested a few outfits that are basically just traditional demon garbs along with jewelry that he made himself (if he can make weapons and armor, he can probably make jewelry). He doesn’t wear them, especially not with other ppl around, but sometimes, when he’s alone and he knows no one will bother him, he’ll put it on and look at himself in the mirror. He has mixed feelings, considering where he comes from, but he still feels responsible in a way. He was born as the first prince of the demon clan, he can’t help but still feel that way, even if he did betray everyone and ended up getting the sealed presumably forever. He’s still a demon, and cares for the culture of his clan. The traditional clothes are just a small part of this culture, but the older he gets, the more he finds himself clinging to every little bit in order to not forget who he is and who he was. That, and he may be a little bit vain. But who can blame him when the gems he’s decorated with gleam and glimmer so beautifuly in the bright light of the human realm?

#nnt #meliodas #nnt meliodas #nnt hc #meliodas with requip magic #just something i've been thinking about for a couple days

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

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honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

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dreamteamspace · 3 years

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MCYT subway au Part 3 because I’m a sucker for attention and the 2 ppl who made part 1 and 2 noticed me

Holiday Shift

- Everybody who works on the holiday gets double. Those that can’t work have to put their name on a list. Lowest entries and those that don’t enter need to work the shift. It’s Phil’s idea don’t ask

- George is the first to put his name there but Sapnap skribbles it out and makes sure everybody else gets their name in first. It’s his punishment for leaving Dream and him alone for rush hour when Karl was sick. Dream wasn’t all that mad but Sapnap Will Not let that shit slide

- Tommy gladly takes the oppertunity to not have to spend the entire day awkwardly hugging relatives and being told to keep their elbows off the table. Convinces Tubbo to join them, supposedly for the Money

- Dream: “So Karl did you put your name on the list yet?” Karl: “What list??”

- Shift staffing: George, Tubbo, Tommy and Karl

- George becomes the reluctant babysitter of what feels like three kids

- “Karl stop WASTING the bread we NEED THAT.”

- Tommy is told to go pull what they need for monday out of the freezer. Tubbo offers to come with him and holds his hand the entire time. They’re best friends your honor. Tommy promises Tubbo to make it up to him

- George does about 60% of the work on a four person shift. Swears to murder Sapnap on sight. Probably slaps a pastry in his face later

Promotion pt. 4: Taking Over

- Tommy begs Techno to join in support of Wilbur. Techno reluctantly agrees because he can’t really say no to Tommy and because he doesn’t really want to become manager anyway (too much paperwork and he’s fixating on the origins of vedgetables)

- Tommy now adds #WilburForManager to his pogway stickers. Wilbur is also reluctantly Growing Soft in face of Tommy’s undying support

- Nobody knows why, but Quackity has the unspoken ability to make Schlatt give him sick leave or remove him from shift?? All Quackity has to do is point to his phone and give Schlatt a smug Look.

- Ppl are suspicious but really Quackity just has a video of Schlatt kissing a baby kitten in the face and talking to it in a high pitched soft voice

- Wilbur needs to visit extended family and leaves for 2 weeks. The day before he leaves is surprisingly light-hearted and Wilbur admits that Schlatt isn’t the worst manager imaginable. He lets them waste things sometimes and has yet to give anybody a cut for not showing up to a shift

- Dream can’t openly go against Schlatt, silently wishing he’d just put the milk in The Right Spot before his shift. But no. It never is. It’s always somewhere else. Always.

- Schlatt continues to place things in slightly different places than they belong and following his whim more than the rules. One time he didn’t order the dark chocolate cakes they sell because “Who likes those anyway”

- Phil is there more often to make sure Wilbur’s work is covered. The war continues to rage in stolen glares and misplaced ingredients.

- Bad and Skeppy are slowly genuinely growing concerned, watching the whole thing go down like a movie.

Promotion pt. 5: Adopted On Sight

- Schlatt tells Tubbo he’s doing great One Time because he literally saved Schlatt’s ass from being fired for the whole cakes thing by biking it to the nearest store that sells them and getting some

- Tubbo will now follow Schlatt around to ask him how he’s doing, if he did everything right, if he needs any help, how his morning went so far

- Schlatt does Not Know how to handle Tubbo and suddenly wishes for Wilbur to just Come Back and Take His Kid. Tubbo wishes him a good morning and good night every single day. How is he supposed to keep up his tough old man appearance like this

- Tommy is still on Wilbur’s side and purposefully makes Schlatt’s life just a little more difficult. Small pranks. Stickers on the cakes, wasting them. Writing #TommySupremacy on the sandwhich wraps with markers while nobody is looking. Taking 4 chairs to the back to stack them on top of eachother and stand on them to reach the ceiling. Being the teenager he is.

- Tubbo think it’s funny and that’s the main thing keeping him going really

- Schlatt confronts Tommy but with no results. He turns to Phil to ask him what to do and Phil is like, you don’t do anything. That’s just Tommy for you. Usually Wilbur keeps him occupied with the Dreamon hunting and now he has too much free time

- Quackity is using the blackmail more and more. Does he even work here anymore? When was the last time anybody saw him apart from looting the expired sodas? He’s the only one who can order avocados on a spanish site online that don’t cost their weight in gold

- But as it tends to be with good friends, Schlatt knows the amount of blackmail he has is enough to fill everybody’s need for drama here for the rest of the year. Also he can’t say no to Quackity

- Fundy recieves yet another apology card from Wilbur from Ireland, a whole postcard with a picture attached and a little doodle of a fox. He finally caves and forgives him, now refusing to do Schlatt’s work anymore.

- Dream is Popping Off. Nobody can stop him from working once he starts. He’s 2 months ahead on Literally Everything. Somebody help him

Promotion pt. 6: The Finale I promise

- Wilbur returns! Schlatt is THIS close to throwing in the towel

- Tubbo says he wants another sleepover, wanting to de-escalate the whole manager war. Tommy has to stay true to his promise in the freezer and they convince Wilbur together. Techno was on board before they even asked

- Unbeknowedst to them, the Dream Team + Karl wanted to stay in that night as well to sabotage Schlatt

- Both groups stare at eachother in confusion at first

-They combine their resources to figure out a way to sabotage Schlatt. Dream is growing increasingly quiet and unsure while Tommy stares at The Adults with dissapointment. Tubbo tries to get a word in about how Schlatt isn’t That Bad but they all yell over him. “The milk, Tubbo! Why can’t he put the milk back like a normal person!”

- Eventually Tommy pulls out his bravery and tells everyone to Shut Up

- Everyone stares at eachother

-Tommy: “How come you guys yelling over bullying somebody out of their work sounds less mature than when my literal nephews are screaming at eachother over 10 year old pokemon cards??“

- The adults stare at eachother even harder

- Dream shyly clears his throat. “From an outsider perspective, you know, uh, I should probably be fired for plotting against a fellow manager-“

- Wilbur finally finds his tongue. “Maybe this wasn’t the most... mature idea.”

- Everybody carefully agrees to apologize to schlatt and never speak of this again. Tommy has unknowingly gotten a lot more pranking rights

- They spend the rest of the night organizing the storage, hunting Dreamon, Dream telling them about that one time he ate a living frog, and taking turns playing some free racing game on Karl’s switch

- Lots of laughter, return to their shifts the next day

- They wait for Schlatt to come in to work and pull him to the back. Only Bad and Skeppy are already allowed inside while they keep the doors locked for anybody else

- Dream issues a formal apology to him and tells him everything, and Wilbur jockingly mentions they were really close to pouring food coloring into his rubber gloves as they try to laugh it off

- Schlatt stares at them

- “You know what? I quit. I don’t want to be the manager anymore. I feel like the dad of lord knows how many kids. Phil is some kind of angel. Wilbur please adopt Tubbo and Tommy again, as long as our store isn’t on fire I’m never going to complain about them ever again. Dream you might wanna phone Quackity.”

Insiders

- After a good, short era of peace within the establishment, the Drama Bois are getting bored and latching onto new things

- The bets on whether Skeppy and Bad are a couple or not are getting ever higher, especially as they’ve started letting them behind the counter. They figured out pretty quickly that they’re officially not together, but that just makes the betting all the more exciting. Do they like eachother? Are they hiding it? Are they just really good friends? Are they THAT oblivious or just really good at covering it up??

- Bad especially becomes good friends with Dream, George and Sapnap, and yet they’re all just as split as everyone else on whether he likes Skeppy or not

- Bad pretends to be but is in fact not oblivious to this at all

- Dream especially will often tell them they’re being VERY close to eachother or how cute they are next to eachother, revelling in teasing his friend, especially as Bad will sometimes start to get flustered while Skeppy manages to somehow stay 100% cool

- One day when a middle aged white woman is extremely unhappy with her order she starts talking down on George about being uneducated, and too clumsy for being useful at all, and how they should fire him. George asks her if he should just get the manager and she gladly agrees, only for Dream to swoop out of a back room, a good head taller than her, and sternly tell her if she can’t treat employees like human beings then he will ban her from the establishment immedietly. The woman stutters, takes her order and leaves, cursing something as she goes.

- Bad and Skeppy were sitting at a table nearby quietly the entire time, and Bad has this a-little-too-wide smile on his face.

- Dream murmurs something about having to go, but the seeds are planted. The idea has bloomed. Bad is ready to get his teasing revenge.

- Just as they’re closing, George puts away the milk that Dream left on the counter, telling Dream that he’s putting it away. Bad: “Wow George, that’s so thoughtful of you!” George: “???”

- Dream, softly telling George he can go home earlier and he’ll take the rest of the shift so George can catch up on sleep: “It’s okay, just go. I’ve got this.”

- Bad, just as George left, slurping his milkshake innocently while Wilbur and Sapnap are in earshot: “Awww, Dream! That was SO nice of you!”

- Dream, knowing exactly what this is for: “I’m just... nice to my friends!“

- Bad: “Really?! How many times do you let Sapnap go home earlier?” Sapnap: “You let George go earlier AGAIN?” Wilbur, having waited his entire life for someone to finally notice this: “George is getting so much favored treatment, Dream. But you’re really just good friends, right?“

- If looks could kill they’d all be dead at that point. Especially Bad, who continues slurping his milkshake as the chaos unfolds and Dream knows there’s no escape

@labbyyyyy @karlljacobs

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kimnjss · 4 years

Text

grand gesture | ksj

⤑ series: sugar free

⤑ genre: angst, rich!jin x artist!reader, college au.

⤑ rating: PG13

⤑ word count: 1.5K

⤑ warnings: there aren’t any, lmao.

⤑ A/N: this is a bit short, but it’s straight to the point and meant to be that way!! just felt like this part worked better written then told through text, so yeah you’ll see what i mean! let me know what you think x

A full week passed. A full week of ignored gifts being dumped on your front porch. You were seriously considering selling them, no desire to collect his half ass-ed apology. This was the exact reason why you were hesitant to get involved with him in the first place. He was exactly like how you thought he'd be.

Of course, he'd approach you on a bet. Of course, this would all be about money. It was all that kid cared about. The way he was flaunting it, trying to buy your forgiveness was proof enough. Did he not get it? Was he that dim?

The only thing that bothered you about this whole situation was the time you wasted hanging around him. All that time you could've used working on projects or perfecting your craft... spent and wasted with the hope of trying to get to know the guy. What a waste.

Despite the constant interruption of a knock at your front door, you had decided that you were going to use all this new free time to concentrate on your art. Summoning all the inspiration you could to create... something. It actually was harder than you thought, feeling unbelievably uninspired and a little bit sad.

From your friends, you had requested they didn't pop in whenever they wanted. Felt like you'd work better if you had a chance to be alone. What you didn't realize was that with all this alone time you really had a chance to evaluate your feelings... what you had been suppressing since that night out with Jin.

It had been obvious to the people around you, but you refused to listen. It was hard to ignore now. You were a bit sad, to be honest. It had been a while since you were able to let go and actually enjoy being around someone... romantically, and you hadn't expected it at first but you really were starting to like him.

Things were comfortable around him, he was funny in a nice way, cared a lot about keeping things light, and actually listened when you ranted about whatever was bugging you at the time. It had only been a few weeks spent with him, two dates in that time but you really enjoyed yourself.

A little bummed that it had to end this way. Couldn't help but wonder if you had overreacted, if you should have listened when he tried to text you about it. Stopped being so stubborn and forgave him like everyone had said that you should. Maybe then you wouldn't be this miserable, suffering from this horrible artist's block, you didn't even know if you were holding your paintbrush correctly.

The welcomed knock on your door had you standing a little too quickly, ready to ditch this blank canvas and see whatever had been sent your way. Nothing came in yesterday and you had assumed he got the hint... hoped he hadn't.

There's an arch in your brow at the lack of delivery man at your front door. With confusion written in your features, you're putting the front door open; eyes landing on a sad-looking Seokjin. He's dressed casually, opposite of the expensive tops and form-fitting jeans he usually put on. Pair of joggers and a plain t-shirt. The change was nice, made him look younger.

He shifted on his feet, hands behind his back eyes trained on his sneakers. You had to fight the smile that pushed it's way onto your lips, happy to see him standing in front of you – but quickly reminding yourself why he had to show up like this in the first place. Main priority was to be strong in this situation, figure out what he was doing here and deal with it. Not swoon and go all heart-eyed just because he showed up.

He should've shown up before all of this.

“What are you doing here? No ridiculously expensive coat to add to the donation pile?” Jin shifts at the sound of your voice, lifting his head to look up at you. He looks sad that you can't help but wonder if you're being a bit mean to him.

Although, him betting on your sex life was pretty mean in itself, right? Getting you to like him just to turn around and make you apart of some sick joke, that's mean.

“N-no, no gifts... they weren't working anyway,” He sighs, arm reaching up to rub at the back of his neck in the awkward way you notice he was always doing. Couldn't believe you had started to find the action cute.

“Yeah, sucks. You can't buy someone's forgiveness,” There's bite in your tone but he doesn't flinch, just looks down nodding his head. “Yeah, I deserve that. I shouldn't have treated this like some business transaction. I hurt you... I should've manned up and came to you.”

You're reading to rip into him again until his words are registering in your mind. Did he come here to... apologize? Eyes blinking as you stare at him, Jin takes your silence as a sign he should continue.

“Yn, I'm sorry. I hate that I fucked with you like that and even more that you're upset. I know you won't forgive me, I'm not expecting you to... I just figured I should at least say it, like for real, you know? We were having a good time together and I really like you, so I owe you at least a proper apology.”

There's a warmth that spreads throughout your body at hearing his words. Not sure if it was from the apology or the fact that he had just told you... to your face, that he liked you. What you had been wanting to hear this entire week was an explanation from him, not through text and not in the form of some designer shoes... like a real explanation. Could see yourself forgiving him if he gave you that.

“Why'd you do it?” Your voice is quieter than you remember as if you're afraid of the reason. Either way, you don't back down. Staring straight at him as if you're strong, waiting to hear what he has to say. “Because I liked you. And I know how stupid that sounds, but I was too chicken shit to do something about it... so I just used the bet as an excuse,”

Jin had said that you didn't have to forgive him, but that didn't stop the hopeful look in his eyes. Watching as you tossed his words around in your head, waiting for that smile of yours to appear as you told him that it was all okay. That you forgave him and if he promised he never did something stupid like this again, you two could go back to falling for each other as you had been before.

It didn't come. Instead, you were just nodding, taking a step back into your house. “Alright, well... thanks for coming here and apologizing.”

“So that's it?” The words are falling from his lips before he has a chance to stop them. Not realizing how expectant they sound, how he had promised himself he wouldn't act that way at this moment because he knew you hated it. “I mean... were you thinking we could, maybe, try again?” You can hear the hope in his voice and you don't miss it.

Did you want to try again? Let him in all over again as he attempted to break down your walls, he had done a pretty good job at it before. Were you ready for all that? All that came with being with him... like actually being with him. Before it had been different, you weren't sure of your feelings then, but now, you knew that you'd want more from him. An actual relationship. Would he even be able to do that?

“Was that what you were hoping for? Why you came by to apologize?” He's shaking his head before the words can fully leave your mouth.

“No, I came here because you deserved a proper apology because I was sick of being a coward about all of this. I want to be with you because... well because you're amazing and I don't want to miss out on that,” He's offering a small smile up to you, one you're returning almost instantly.

Still, there's something holding you back, but you're unable to place it. Needed to figure out what it was before you were leaping into a relationship with the guy. “Could I...? Could I think about it?”

“Yes, yeah!” The smile on his lips grows as he steps off of your porch, mission accomplished. “Take all the time you need to think about it... you can call me when you decide? My numbers the same!” You can't help but laugh at his quick shift of demeanor, the way he basically runs down your driveway before you can change your mind.

You stand and watch the entire time he jogs down the street until he's ducking into his car, and speeding off with a wave out the window. A hand lifts to wave back, heart thudding in your chest as you stepped back into your house. About to give this situation some serious thought... were you really going to be able to handle being with Kim Seokjin?

– rich, spoiled and a bit of a womanizer. but underneath all of that, there’s a heart of gold. and no matter how determined she is to reject him, he won’t stop trying until she sees he’s kinda sweet.

↲ masterlist ↳

taglist: @randomkoalablog @smoljams @dee-ehn @jaiuneamesolitaiire @lilacdreams-00 @sw33tnight @bangtansonyeondayyyum @okblve @jinhitwhore @tae165 @hellotherehoneybee @bangtansbun @betysotelo18 @cherriigguk @koostime @kooinluv @butterflylion @kookiesjoonies @uxwi @honeyoongles @imajiningseokjin @amoreguk @beeeb05 @tommasauras @bluefaeriefury @butterflylion @withlovestudyblr @samros95 @korkanswers @houseofarmanto @soulstaes @thesunisup-theskyisblue @jinsearth @aizuwusho @moonb0yy @tan-dulset @8sjaf @mini-coop25 @marifujioka @sunskook @elliemeetsevil @ratking101 @leovaldezisfire @greyaceupyoursleeve @emmy17jane

A/N: timestamps are important throughout the fic!! if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask! also if you asked to be on the taglist and aren’t on there, it’s because tumblr sometimes doesn’t let me tag ppl for some reason.

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secondhand-trash · 4 years

Note

vvv important question!!! How would sugardaddy!yaku react to his sugarbaby feeling super insecure abt what ppl think of her? Like she’s just a leech, sucking all his money, his bitch, all the insults and she just starts feeling so insecure being around Yaku now and he notices. From rejecting his gifts to rejecting his physical affection 😭

He noticed when you first refused to show up in public with him when he asked you to accompany him to an event. He was confused about it, but your meek smile and gentle gaze convinced him that maybe you just needed some rest or that you simply don’t feel like going. But then he started picking up on the little signs that you were growing distant. The tags are all still attached to the new things he bought you, even the ones he knew clearly that you had wanted. You started going to him less and less, avoiding the conversation every time he asked if you were doing well and if you wanted anything. His heart broke when you flinched away from his hand when you were walking on the streets together, your eyes skittering around like you were afraid that there would be people watching.

He brought it up tentatively when you were alone in his house, holding your hands in his and looking into your eyes. You broke down almost immediately under his worried gaze, all the insecurities that piled up crashing all at once. He did not know what he could do when you started crying in his arms, patting the back of your head and cooing in your ear, telling you that everything is alright and he is here for you.

He felt a bit guilty about it, knowing that he was the one who suggested to put you into this lifestyle and whirled you away from your work. Above all, he really liked having you around and he would do anything to make sure that you had fun being with him too. You could always go back to work, or get on your own feet with his help if it will make you feel better. If you wanted, he could be just your boyfriend. He would be secretly glad if you decided to keep things the same as before, but gets almost scarily protective over you. If he had shown you off before, now he wanted to keep his treasure away from the public eye. You were his baby, and you shouldn’t have to worry your pretty self with what irrelevant people thinks about you.

#asks #cadence rambles #yaku lovin hours #yaku x reader #urgh mori please

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seijch · 4 years

Text

bitches make one post about suna in the smoke grays and suddenly it turns into a full round of headcanons...

content warning. drug use (vaping)

TERUSHIMA: man i swear do NOT put this man on the aux!!!!!! some ppl do not believe in paying for a streaming service and i hate to break it to you but yuuji is one of them,,, Want A Break From The Ads? If You Tap Now To Watch A Short Video, You’ll Receive Thirty Minutes Of Ad Free Music type beat... its not even worth it at this point 🤮🤮🤮 his pre-work fits always go hard. shops exclusively on stockx and buys apparel from the store if he fucks w it (and when it goes on sale ... original retail price kinda expensive tho). surprisingly good w the elderly? no one expects it from him but he ALWAYS gets compliments from them and no one else ever wants to deal w the crabby old people so they send him in for a quick and easy sale 🤝🏻

SUNA: ALWAYS vaping in the back. if youre near him in the stockroom hell blow the smoke in your face. punch him. do it. this is the aisle where there are no cameras. BIG sneakerhead but doesnt like to answer questions nskdfsd you could b asking him if a shoe is good for running nd he hits you w that “idk i just work here” and WALKS AWAY. like i KNOW you work here bitch thats the fucking point!!!! his shoe game is always on point so he always gets questions since people think he knows what hes talking abt (he does,, But 😐😐😐)

SHIRABU: at the register. designated cashier, only here because tuition does NOT pay itself... air max supremacist; owns three pairs of air max 270s in the most BASIC colorways 😐 judges customers when they walk in. if he sees someone trying to fake flex he WILL gag. once saw a man and his son with the toyota logo hanging from their matching gold chains and hasnt recovered since.

KOGANEGAWA: gets LOST in the stockroom and is always 🧍‍♂️ when he does. compliments the scent of whatever flavor puff bar suna blows into his face. isnt in the work gc when he first gets hired bc he has an android NJKSDSA but eventually upgrades and is welcomed in (but overuses animojis unironically.....baby please youre embarrassing us). absolute king. one of the best sellers on the floor during back to school season; the mans a high-five machine!! the kids love him. (as they should!)

ATSUMU: gets confused for yuuji from behind a LOT and bitch if this doesnt PISS HIM OFF!!!!!!! youd rlly think that having another person out there w the same exact face as you would train you to handle this shit better but guess not bc tsumu gets SO mad he stomps off to the back and has to 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ for a bit..... osamu works at the food place two doors down and tells all the cashiers to make him pay full price, fuck a mall discount SDJAKDA there are too many pictures on his ig story of him and suna (reluctantly taken by aran) holding shoes to their ears like theyre the latest iphone. someone stop them before i reach thru the screen and shit in their shoes.

KINDAICHI: originally started working just to make money and knew NOTHING about shoes but bitch did he get INTO IT!!!! yeezy or bust, baby!!!!!! his go to work shoes are the tail lights but he also owns the desert sages (among others). his bank acc is NOT HAPPY,,, homie spends more money than he makes at his shitty minimum wage job 😭 once he learned the Shoe Lore he rlly came into his own as a solid seller but i would not be lying if i said before then he was on stock duty ....

ARAN: mvp of the store!!! gets along w the kids, gets along w the older folks, can hold a conversation w the sneakerheads, you name it hes got it !!!!!! on track to become an assistant manager if he so chooses -- the manager is alr begging him to come on full time but he doesnt wanna tie himself down to a life of selling shoes, yk? has people coming to the store just to see HIM like its a fucking host club. admittedly not as into shoes as someone like suna or tanaka,, definitely knows how to appreciate a Good Shoe but is halfway between a casual and a Full Sneakerhead tbh...

TANAKA: you wouldnt believe it but he is the KING of shoecare, both in usage and in sales! doesnt care as much when it comes to his regular old volleyball asics but when hes at work or out on the town? the flex is honestly UNREAL...catch him slacking, i dare you. shits on anyone who buys a team jordan like ,,, ok gatekeeper! his collection of retro jordans reaches almost concerning levels and refuses to sell any of them. he hasnt worn a good third of them, either (hes waiting for That Moment, whatever the fuck THAT means). only slightly above terushima when it comes to aux privileges. (theres also a video of him in the stockroom wearing nothing but booty shorts at the top of a ladder lipsyncing the lyrics to chandelier by sia. dont ask.)

BOKUTO: THE customer service guy. he spends small amounts of money like nobodys business but is lowkey scared of big purchases... drops $15 for food eight times a week like its nothing but wont buy a pair of $180 shoes... ok. as a result his collection is nowhere near as big as some of the other guys but he treasures them all and takes very good care of them!!! knows JUST what to say to warm any kind of customer up to him (gets hit on a lot, much to the dismay of tanaka nd yuuji)... also has a lot of former customers recognize him (its the hair) and he just has to go 😃 haha hey! every time.

NISHINOYA: whenever he cant reach smth and needs to be out on the floor asap he can and WILL climb up the shelves of the stockroom like a fucking MONKEY NKSFSN 😭😭😭 the authority when it comes to shoes for running, hiking, the gym, etc. if its outdoors leave it to him! had a pair of 270s but the bubble POPPED the one time he used the ladders as he came down..........hes literally traumatized and ALWAYS brings it up whenever he shares a shift w shirabu (who has since asked to not be scheduled w noya due to a “difference in beliefs” MSFSDS)

FUTAKUCHI: ive said it before but hes one of Those People thats worked half the stores in the damn mall so he was hired as a cashier during the holiday szn and left the company a few months later. youd think hed get along w fellow cashier shirabu but 😃 the manager avoids scheduling them together unless the stores gonna be busy bc one of them is gonna wanna use “the better register” and get mad when the other claims it first .... like theyre both FUNCTIONAL arent they??? 😭😭 does NOT give a shit abt shoes!!! never even learned the stockroom, just kinda figured it out as he went along...whenever someone asks him for their size in a shoe he hands it off to someone on the floor unless he cant avoid it (but believe it or not he will always give that person the sale...unless its suna bc he knows suna doesnt give a fuck)

@wackatoshi jic you dont see it when it drops 😚😚

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strawberryspeachy · 3 years

Text

Lurking around fb and saw the “common friends” on a friends page and seeing the two together reminded me of a conversation i had with one of them

So the dude liked the girl. I met the girl when she first moved to my area in art class and she started talking to me immediately (basically saying ‘hey! Youre the only other not white person ive seen all day’ leaving me like ?????? Weird way to start a convo)

Anyhow fast foward a few years and meeting her when she first arrived came up in convo with the dude. And he was like no i met her first! and just cause i didnt think he knew that I literally met her on her first say in the school i was like - pretty sure i knew her before you

And this dude liked to play argue with people- so he started to do that. And drew me in - until the “argument” devolved into some weird ‘who knows her better’

And i was like

Wait wait.... this is fucking weird. I... dont actually... care that much?

I think that memory popped up because i comment on youtube videos time to time and i commented on one a couple months ago about para? Relationships and how thats why people are so invested in influences lives

And i just really take issue when people use words like “everyone” and “all” because not true. Were not all the same

And i dont develop that feeling with strangers - despite my best efforts as a teen to be normal and fangirl - i always lost interest after a couple weeks because i just didnt care

That doesnt mean i dont get excited over SOME celeberties or dont stop to check out new work. Of course.

But honestly the list of people i would wake up early and go wait in line somwhere to see them is very small.

And beyond that theres only another handful where if i happened to see them on the street, i would ask for a picture or something. And that handful are people whose work i genuinely like, not because i think theyre my friends

I didnt write all that. But i am genuinely confused by the interest in “attractive” peoples lives.

And someone commented that i am lying and if i ever saw an influencer id beg for a picture with them

Honestly offended by the idea cause going badk to that convo about my high school friend. I really really really hate talking about random other people in a way thay emulates them. I dont paticipate in it. I get grossed out when people try to drag me into those kinds of conversations. I hate when im with someone and they get really fucking hype over an expensive car or a crowd or a camera crew.

I dont wanna be part of the crowd thats obsessing over some rando with a pretty face or money.

I dont wanna get drug into a crowd obsessing over someones work that i dont care about

One of my college friends told me about a news article she saw about my favorite singers dating life.... and i didn’t know how to reply because they definitely told me expecting me to get excited in some way over it... but i just dont care. Like cook. Hes a talented attractive single dude in his late 40s - makes sense hell wanna settle down with someone sometime and its not gonna be me lol

Also. I do get disturbed when i know too much information about random people i dont actually know

Like celebrities- ones i dont like i rlly try my best to not learn anything about. I dont care

Ones i like - information they wanna put out into the world - sure ill listen from time to time. But i dont rlly care one way or another

“Influencers” aka conventionally attractive people with a camera and no other talent - i wish ppl didnt care so these assholes couldnt just coast by in life on their genetics - suffer like the rest of us.

So i hate them and no. I would not want pictures with them. I dont wanna meet them. I dont get the appeal. I try to pretend they dont exist.

Edit: side note. I stopped getting nauseous and all about talking in front of people after i realized that i dont care about other peoples presentations. I dont care when i see someone do something embarrassing (ill still laugh and enjoy it but.... who cares?) so why do i worry what other people will think of me? The answer is - they wont think of me.

And I seriously have never turned back. I rlly thought i was right until college when i realized - oh actually ppl are overly invested in other peoples lives - luckily for me it didnt revert me back. I just think thats weird

Also key in this is random other people - not ppl im romantically interested in (people i have met and talked to and had back and forth exchanges with) not super close friends or family and not people that affect our every day lives like corporate assholes and government employees.

I very much care about their day to day lives and thoughts and personal lives. Cause theyre important - to me or society or both.

Same with a group of people becoming a monolith which affects public opinion.

Like, There a difference between being annoyed by what the kardashians stand for and do to american society - while also refusing to watch their show or give a fuck about what they do in their day to day lives.

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sly-merlin · 3 years

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Hi, my boyfriend's family invited me to dinner. And well, his mom/ everyone kept adding food to my plate and asked me whether my family didn't feed me. (I'm thin) And finally gave me something to drink. His entire family stared at me as I ate, and everyone insisted that i try everything. And made me play a song game, and everyone sang at the top of their lungs. my bf and his uncle got into a screaming match about who won, for an hour and then they hugged it out. And acted like they were best friends. Like. I'm weirded out. My bf made me touch everyone's feet, and they kept touching my head, i was so confused. Like what was that all about? And when I told Rish, my bf, he told me its rude not to touch their feet.( But I got a back ache after that). Also, is it normal for Punjabis to give gifts to their son's gf? Like I got three of them. I'm so confused. Should I have gone with gifts? I went with a bouquet. I kinda feel embarrassed and weirded out. The whole experience made feel uber weird. I like my bf, and his family seems to like me, but they sort of have like no boundaries. Ppl kept hitting my back, and asking me a million questions. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Can you advise me? - Anon with punjabi boyfriend

Hey!!!

Summary: THEY LIKE YOU A LOT!

Don't you eat anything? That's a south asian mom question. Kid is overweight/underweight/perfectly healthy - you'd be asked this question if you aren't living with the family all the time. If they don't ask you, they don't love you. Simple formula. They adore you and since you were visiting after so much time, no matter how you looked, for family members you are always THIN😂since you aren't used to eating Punjabi food, they were just making sure you liked it and tasted everything. So next time don't hesitate to tell them if you don't like a certain food. They'd just take it away.

We Punjabis are naturally loud. Like LOUD. There are exceptions of course but in parties etc it just HAPPENS. and you only witnessed a screaming match. They'd have cursed each other(maybe you didn't understand those bt i can bet there was a shower of affectionate curses) it's normal. Indians value family too much so that's y it's like this. My father wakes me up with curses and thats totally fine bcs it's AFFECTIONATE. Hugs solve everything so why not just fight passionately. You were there too so your boyfriend didn't want to lose and you were there so his uncle didn't want to lose either!! Impressions are important!!

Don't refuse gifts. Take everything they give you. The ones you didn't accept would eventually end up in your house😂😂so why not take them when they are being given! On first visits, we always give guests some money. You are going to be part of their family(let's assume safely. May god bless you both) so it was only right that they gave you something. This is how it works.

It's not abt boundaries actually. There are certain ways of showing affection and wt they did is wt we face here in daily routine. Patting your back is a way of their telling "stay happy forever" "may you never face any problems in your life" "you were great today" "we loved meeting you" and such. It depends on context.

Abt touching feet. It's a tradition in hindu families, as far as I know. I'm a sikh Punjabi and my mother has taught me to never touch anyone's feet bcs "daughters shouldn't be touching other's feet" but my male cousins do touch feet. Maybe in rish's family it's a tradition but you shud let him know if you feel uncomfortable bt it's a sensitive matter of tradition so talk this out carefully. It depends upon how he Takes it. I really don't know abt this bcs my father never lets me touch his feet or anyone's for that matter.

Whatever you r feeling is fine. Calm down. You will get used to all this. with time, you'll be able to differentiate between their love and hate langauge. Someday just think abt their actions and how they made you feel and the specific parts that you think you can't bear. I'm sure they'll understand. It's a two way thing so maybe show them your way of doing things as well.🙂

#anon with punjabi boyfriend #for everyone else- this is class on Punjabi culture #sat sri akal #lovely anons

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adcres · 4 years

Text

howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord : 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 ! okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡

BASICS.

༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]

PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .

01 and 02 .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .

not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡

despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — ‏‏‎ one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .

b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .

overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .

push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .

lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass

and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .

kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type ....

can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...

overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .

a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers

more here .

MORE AESTHETICS.

the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .

CHARACTER DISSERTATION.

nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .

as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer

the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given

despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .

it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .

very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing

while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .

a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — ‏‏‎much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .

WANTED CONNECTS.

pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ...

fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ...

frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse .

unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh

a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..

enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...

bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .

family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...

ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>

#lavish.intro #okie gotta blast i have class in 5 min

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kyotakumrau · 5 years

Text

2019.09.13

VERY rough notes from TRill MUsic radio program with Toshiya as a SUPER SUDDEN guest.

DJs are Joe Yokomizo and Yumenoyua

In the beginning they actually commented on how sudden this visit is and that Toshiya doesn't appear often on a radio.

They talked about the new artist photo:

Toshiya : Everyone decides their outfits etc by themselves, Kyo didn't want to show his face.

♪人間を被る

They talk again about the artist photo - it's so dark it's hard to understand who is who

T: すみません・sorry! (they all laugh)

Tweets from fans commenting how handsome he is, his fitness, diet. Toshiya replies that he eats properly.

Joe asks him about going grocery shopping and Toshiya talks about buying side dishes at the supermarket, he also buys discounted food (like any other normal person XP)

Other DJ summarizes band's history and they talk about the start of the band in 1997. All other members are from Kansai besides Toshiya who's from Nagano.

Toshiya explains they met in Tokyo. He was friends with a different band person and was invited to do a joint concert (2man) with Kyo's band. He thought that Kyo will definitely succeed. When he heard that Kyo's band disbanded and his band was planning to do that as well he decided to talk to Kyo.

Kyo apparently said :おれもしゃべりたかったねん・I wanted to talk to you too (Toshiya's imitation of Kyo was so sweet😂).

He says that indie times were a long time ago, now it's just a story, fun talk, even if then it was hard.

Next topic is free time - toshiya on his days off does what he likes, namely designing clothes. He draws his ideas, chooses materials; it takes time to make sample, fix problems, but he enjoys it.

It's a single but it's 10min long.

Toshiya comments that for a single it's their longest one; releasing singles is becoming more and more difficult and confusing, what's the point? (from a music market industry view point). When releasing a single there's more tough parts to think about compared to albums (including catchy parts etc).

Each time they struggle making decisions about singles.

He was sorry again for the length of the single😂

When asked if it's hard to play such long songs live? He said its fun.

Recording also took long this time.

Kyo wanted to do long song but it didn't go smoothly??

Is it connected to the last album?

Toshiya: it's different for every member, but for me it's connected to as the last song from the album.

♪the world of mercy radio edit

Which part is important according to you?

Toshiya says thinking about the flow of the song, how it will progress. They have quite few longer songs, but they always have to think about the flow, consider performing it live etc.

They always want to make something that doesn't exist yet, something better.

They talk about Toshiya's roots:

Toshiya got interested in music thanks to his mother liking music and listening to music on TV, her favorite was Julie (Sawada Kenji).

(Toshiya sings his songs in karaoke??😂)

Next they talk about performing live. Toshiya gets very nervous before every performance.

Among their 30 singles what does he remember best?

Toshiya: at the start being produced by Yoshiki.

He won't share his impression of Yoshiki so he doesn't need to quit music😂

(as in godfather Yoshiki could finish him if he overstepped😂)

His reason to start a band was BOOWY, Buck-Tick, LUNA SEA (there was one more band listed I didn't catch).

The bassists he respects the most are Taiji from X and J from LUNA SEA.

Back to the indie times topic. Toshiya first did a band in Nagano, then came to Tokyo. He was basically so poor he didn't have money for food or a proper place to live. He survived thanks to 天使ちゃん・an angel. His dream at that point was to be able to feed himself・食えるようなりたい

Then they talk about their first budokan, how they made it there. Tommy-san did impossible come true, they talk about Tommy and Joe laughs: it was Toshiya who laughed (not me)!'😂

They talk that at that time ppl with make up in bands where scary (in a cool sense). When Toshiya met Tommy and checked his past band, he had to double check it's the same person😂

This radio program is the first time Toshiya talked about being so poor during indie times. He had no time to work part time because of band activities, but there was no money from music.

♪Toshiya announces the next song by Julie, 'a song that my mother liked very much!'

"I never thought I will be listening to Julie during a program with dir" - fan comment😂

Joe asks about the upcoming tour, everything is ready, rehearsal finished, setlists ready (one of the reasons Toshiya was staying only first 30 minutes was that he wants to rests before the start of the tour).

Toshiya is looking forward to the food he can try during the tour in Japan. But he's not good with spicy food and can't really drink now, in the past he used to drink after shows but gradually stopped.

Joe gives a long speech about how great are DIR's shows❤

Next he comments: And you have tour abroad in winter... do you not rest???!

Toshiya: I'm grateful we have a chance to play abroad.

Can you share some memories from touring abroad?

Toshiya explains that when they played in Germany, at Rock am Ring for the first time, after their performance he was walking up by the stage and he saw Metallica was watching them, they complimented their show. And asked about Kyo bleeding from his mouth 'is your vocalist okay????'

😶

How about foreign food?

Toshiya: it's not good, I don't like pizza, in the US pizza is huge but not tasty at all.

When touring abroad they want cup ramen and yakisoba and will fight over any they get (from fans etc) among themselves🔥😂 it will turn into violent bloody fights😂

CUPMEN

Any plans after you finish the tour in Europe?

Toshiya: there're already things decided, so please look forward to the announcements.

They 'fight/do their best on stage' (fan tweet) Toshiya's joke: We only don't fight on stage, after the show we fight over ramen xD

Yakisoba/smell stays on the bus, you know what was eaten immediately.

They talk about the playing at concerts, 3~4 kg lost during the show, sweat it out

Joe: Are you masochists?!・君たちはドM？！

Which place he's looking forward to visit?

Toshiya: each place, but I don't think I've been to Morioka, so I'm looking forward to going there (and food there!).

What about playing in Nagano again?

Toshiya replies that playing in his hometown is too embarrassing so he always refuses, he doesn't want any special treatment like 'welcome home Toshiya!' 😂

They talk about taking care of himself after shows: going back straight to hotel and having water, taking care of his throat.

When the other DJ comments they are busy with so many shows Toahiya replies that comparing to their schedule in the past now it's not so tough.

Joe reads fan's comment on twitter about the white stuff kyo used to make to spit - when Toahiya saw him mixing the stuff in the backstage he thought he looked very happy 😂

And then came more praises from Joe about DIR shows: 人生変わります・ they will change your life.

♪Ranunculus

Toshiya left, but DJs talked a bit more about Dir, but my hand refused to cooperate anymore😅

#dir en grey #toshiya #joe yokomizo #trill music #translation #kind of #i tried XD #tour19 this way to self destruction #the world of mercy

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hoekageyama · 4 years

Text

bet

↳ pairing: kenma kozume x gn!reader

↳ summary: playing overwatch with kenma when he makes a bet you can’t refuse

↳ wc: 860

↳ warnings: language, confusing gaming lingo (i explain what most of it means at the bottom of the post lol), and very very bad writing

↳ a/n: just really wanted to write kenma using my irl experiences w comp ow lmao. meaning i just rlly wanted to write him as the sweaty, dps main i 10000% believe he is hehe. i hope you enjoy reading this! i had a lot of fun writing for kenma! also sorry this is so late!! (school blows ;-; but here we are)

“yooooo!” you exclaim into your headset while tapping rapidly on your keyboard, signing into your blizzard account like you’d done a million times before

“wow, look who finally decided to hop on.” you hear kenma snicker a little at kuroo’s jeering. “hey y/n” he greets you as you feel yourself blush a little from his voice, the sweetest sound to your ears. you could listen to him forever.

minutes later you and the boys are queued up for a warm up match of casual. you opting to play support while kuroo and kenma choose to play tank and attack, respectively.

during your third match you hear kuroo exclaim defeatedly, “FUCK.. i can’t play main tank today. i can’t stop dying to that junkrat and i haven’t landed a single shatter this game!”

“sorry tets, i can pocket you more, to make it easier on you.” you suggest while using mercy’s ultimate ability to fly over to him quickly. you manage to save him from dying to yet another attack from the enemy team’s junkrat, along with healing your entire team in one go.

after a while kuroo leaves the two of you to play on your own with the excuse that he forgot he was supposed to help his grandmother around the house today. “hey y/n, how about we switch it up this round. you play attack and i’ll tackle support.” kenma mentions a little quieter than usual tone.

“uh sure ken, but why exactly?” you chortle to disguise your confusion at the random suggestion. “i’d just like to see if we could pull off a pharmercy like we normally do, but y’know just.. with a better mercy.”

“wait... are you saying that you think you’re a better mercy than me? i literally main mercy, kenma, what are yo-” “you said you didn’t have her cute spray, right?” kenma interrupts your tangent, leaving you just a little more bewildered. “i mean, yeah... but what does that have to do with anything?” you ask, scratching your head in confusion.

“neither do i, but i bet you i can get it in one game.” you can practically see the shiteating grin plastered on his face on the other side of the screen. kenma was always leagues better at any game the two of you played together. he never bragged or talked down on you, so this new attitude seemed very out of place.

after a beat of silence, kenma finally adds “look i’m not saying you’re a bad mercy, ok? what i’m saying is…. why don’t we have a little bet? if i manage to get her cute spray in one match, i win. if i don’t, you win.”

“what do i get if i win?” you ask, while playing with your hands absentmindedly. “if you win, i’ll take you out to dinner anywhere you’d like, my treat.” the blonde answered confidently through his headset.

you feel your cheeks heat up at the thought of a date with kenma. you two had been friends for years. you both somewhat knew how the other felt through kuroo’s incessant whining over the two of you “pining” for each other, but there was never any way to confirm or deny his accusations. “so like, a date?” you sputter out, suddenly very shy.

“precisely that.” and with that confirmation, you find yourself growing eager to play another match. “you better be ready to cough up some money, blondie. i’m in the mood for some grade a sushi tonight.” you giggle while warming up your hands for the next game.

“let’s switch accounts real quick.” kenma quickly suggests as you’re about to queue up another match in competitive. “uh.. ok sure.” the suggestion leaves you questioning his intentions, but you decide to save them for later. not wanting to delay your games any longer than needed.

as time passes, you find that kenma hasn’t really been talking much, fully concentrated on winning this bet. “hey, you never mentioned what you get if you win! i’d like to know if you plan on making me fork over some money for food ahead of time.” you say giggling quietly as to not distract him too much. “oh, that’s a surprise. you’ll see.”

sighing defeatedly, you see your character get torn to shreds by the enemy team’s genji, “pudding head, i’m down. do you have a rez ready?” “i got you. haha what’s wrong? can’t handle that little green man?” he laughs at his own very shitty jeering. “very funny. ..how’s that spray coming along anyway?” you ask, moments later seeing the match come to an end.

“you can check it out, but i’ve gotta go. i’ll text you.” he says in a very hurried tone. as you open overwatch back up with your own blizzard account, you see the achievement notification “huge rez” pop on your screen. as the corners of your mouth upturned in a big smile and heat dawned your cheeks, you feel your phone vibrate on your desk.

turning it over, you see a new notification displayed on your screen.

puddin✨: i’ll pick you up in 30. be ready for me, yeah? kinda feeling sushi tonight.

here’s a lil reference for the words in bold above:

shatter — reinhardt’s ultimate ability; allows him to swing his hammer and drops all enemies in his way, demobilizing them for a few seconds

mercy’s ultimate ability — valkyrie; allows mercy to fly for a certain amt of time, and grants her the ability to heal/damage boost her entire team all at once

pharmercy — overwatch league players (aka ppl who actually know what they’re talking abt lmao) explain what it is here; simply it’s the use of both pharah and mercy together (idk the video shows how it works lmao, this is very very old meta)

mercy’s cute spray — looks like this; unlocked for the player by successfully reviving 6 players without dying in a single match

rez — a term for resurrection; one of mercy’s abilities

huge rez — the achievement name for unlocking mercy’s cute spray

— hoekageyama ‘20

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caffeinelemur · 4 years

Note

how about aziraphale for the chara thing?

How I feel about this character:

Look we all know how I operate and we all know Crowley is my main love here and no one else will reach that peak, so I’m honestly p neutral to any other character, even the one I ship him with ¯\_(-_-)_/¯

Zira is great and honestly half my personality is him (I’m like an even split between him and Crowley with a dash of Anathema) but half the time he infuriates me and like. I get the trauma from heaven thing. I get it. But also maybe stop being a dick to your only friend, also? Your also traumatized best friend? That would literally do anything for you? Like I know u can’t be super obvious bc Enemy Sides but maybe talk to him less like a condescending elitist asshole?

I’m in a minority here, I know. I love him in post-canon fics where they’re recovering and sweet and both of them are still bastards but they acknowledge their friendship/love. But most of canonical timeline Zira confuses/makes me mad. It might be bc I’m in a similar situation to both of them family-trauma-wise and like I still try to not be cruel to other people in my life? So I don’t get why he is? I don’t know. I’m just an autistic trying to understand character motivation and probably failing.

When he’s not being a dick to Crowley, I like him. Dottering autistic-coded seemingly gay professor-y bookworm-types are my thing a lot of the time ngl. His angelic bastard-ness makes me laugh sometimes. Ppl expect him to be sweet and innocent but he’s like I can and will threaten/kill members of the mafia. You think he only says things like “oh goodness!” but I bet money he’s said Fuck and not only just once. It’s all a ruse. Iconic.

I still like Crowley more.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

!!!Crowley!!! He also def had flings with like every famous male author/philosopher/poet/scribe there ever was but I doubt it’s fully “romance” it’s just hey that’s a smart words guy let’s bang for a bit. But the bitch loves Crowley, has always loved Crowley, and will always love Crowley, even if he doesn’t realize until the fucking church bomb thing.

My non-romantic otp for this character:

Also Crowley? Like even when they’re just platonic bffs it’s fantastic I’m not picky.

I also like thinking he gets on well with Madame Tracey still after the Notpocawhoops and they have a set time on like Thursdays where they drink tea and gossip or something.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I don’t see him in a “haha wow feral queen slay what a bastard I love it” or “wow how soft™️ what a literal angel” kinda way like seemingly a lot of people do,, just vaguely either “ok I get it I also am gay n love book so ur cool w me” or “your words/actions have upset me”

I’m also way too invested in Crowley to like. Have a proper Opinion on anyone else and that’s just what my brain does with media I don’t know what to tell you, it always CAFF’S FAVE OR BUST in this house

One thing I wish would happen/ had happened with this character in canon:

Canon verbal apology to Crowley for not exactly helping the “I’m a bad person” trauma for thousands of years!

Canon “you’re not evil or a bad person and I’m sorry I didn’t help you understand this and instead furthered the way to making you think so” and “you have always been my best friend I’m sorry I wouldn’t admit it” and then they hug and cry and Crowley probably refuses to acknowledge any wrongs done by him bc Crowley is just Like That™️ but Zira won’t let himself get away with it and continues to apologize and makes sure Crowley knows the Truth about how actually Decent they are and that Zira loves them (platonic or romantic I don’t care)

...

Reading back it sounds like I don’t like him ??? But it’s not that!! I do like him!! His actions just frustrate me.

Also once again a lot of my opinions are more about how he treats Crowley instead of about Him but my brain refuses to let anything not be about my fave even sort of for a second

#caff answers #gomens #im so sorry gomens fandom for this unpopular opinion on zira #please dont judge me #i like him more than all of the angels and demons!!#maybe not more than Anathema tho

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anonymoustalks · 4 years

Text

They also didn't want me to speak Korean outside of the house because "in America you speak only English."

(6-17-20) You both like Politics.

You: hi

Stranger: Hello

You: What is something important to you?

Stranger: My job.

You: Mhm how so?

Stranger: Because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to buy a house, save money, and have dinner every night.

You: Very reasonable

You: and grounded

Stranger: Considering that I grew up low-income, it only makes sense that I skimp and save.

You: ah yeah, that helps gives perspective for sure

Stranger: All I can really say is not having food every day isn't fun.

You: Mhm did you grow up not being able to eat every day?

Stranger: Yes.

You: What was that like?

Stranger: Hell.

You: Yeah I can imagine

Stranger: The savior was USDA subsidized cheese.

You: are you us-based?

Stranger: I was. I relocated to South Korea in 2007.

You: mhm was the food insecurity in the SU or south korea?

Stranger: The US.

You: where were you specifically, if you don't mind me asking?

Stranger: Detroit until I was 8, Denver from 8-22.

You: mhm

Stranger: You couldn't pay me to move back to the US, in spite of the fact that my parents always insisted that it was better than Korea.

You: Mhm I'd love to hear anything that you're willing to share

Stranger: Well, what do you want to hear?

You: well, everything lol

You: but I guess we don't have time lol

Stranger: What parts do you want to hear?

You: I never personally experienced food insecurity

You: or the circumstances around that

You: and what your family did

You: and I guess why you moved

Stranger: Food insecurity is hell. My parents simply lived with it and ignored it.

You: as context, I'm guessing your family were immigrants?

Stranger: I moved for job security and so I wouldn't face discrimination in the US. Yes, they immigrated from Korea.

You: mhm

You: I'm not really that familiar with detroit and things, but I feel like the naive question I'm sure you get is what about food banks?

You: or other stuff

Stranger: Not a thing back in 1980s/90s Detroit outside of churches, which my parents stayed away from.

You: ahh I didn't know

You: so I'm guessing subsidized school lunches probably also weren't a thing?

Stranger: Those were, but my parents didn't apply for those until we moved to Denver.

You: sounds really rough

Stranger: They didn't apply mostly for fear of deportation

You: undocumented?

Stranger: They were documented, the documentation wasn't always fully valid.

You: ah..

You: student visa?

Stranger: Green cards.

You: mhm I guess it's just so different it's hard for me to imagine

Stranger: Needless to say, people who work on private railyards don't make much.

You: my goodness

Stranger: About 50 cents an hour back in the 80s and 90s.

You: yeah... I just can't imagine

You: how did your family end up moving to denver?

Stranger: My father's job at the railyard was replaced by a sensor and they were concerned that Detroit was becoming too unsafe.

You: mhm this was the big crime era too?

Stranger: Yes. And we lived in a housing project that was effectively where you went to buy drugs or die.

You: buy drugs or die?

Stranger: Lot of dealers, criminals, and bait apartments in there.

You: okay, was just slightly confused about the wording if they made you buy or something

Stranger: The people in the apartment next to us were dealers.

You: mhm

Stranger: The Detroit PD raided the wrong unit, not theirs.

You: .......

Stranger: And that's why I don't respect the Detroit PD.

You: yeah that's terrible

Stranger: We did get money from them after it was found that they broke the most expensive thing in the apartment.

You: it's just so hard for me to imagine what your parents went through

You: coming to the US

You: and all of this

Stranger: I can provide some more insight if you'd like.

You: anything you want to share is good

Stranger: They had this twisted perspective on American customs and holidays.

You: meaning?

Stranger: They didn't get any of them per-se "right."

You: huh

Stranger: Xmas? Get up at 5 AM and eat a pack of Twinkies. "We're going to work."

Stranger: New year's? Get up at 5 AM and eat nothing. "We're going to work"

Stranger: They also told me to not get good grades, because "Americans don't"

You: huh that's unexpected to me...

Stranger: I got all A+s on the report cards, and even skipped a lot of grades after moving to Denver.

You: mhm good for you!

Stranger: They also didn't want me to speak Korean outside of the house because "in America you speak only English."

You: I'm trying to imagine things through their eyes

Stranger: What are you effectively seeing?

You: uhh very poor, desperate, scared

Stranger: That about summed them up.

You: yeah.

Stranger: Even now, they refuse help from me.

You: mhm... that sounds kinda vaguely asian

You: are they still in the us?

Stranger: Yes.

Stranger: Still living in Denver, too.

You: what did they do in denver?

Stranger: My mother is a cashier at a Wal-Mart, and my father is a gun salesman, since he became a citizen in 2012.

You: mhm

Stranger: They did let me pay off their mortgage in 2011, though.

You: oh that's good

You: I can imagine your parents being very proud of you

You: are you an only child or with siblings?

Stranger: I'm an only child.

Stranger: I doubt they could ever afford a second.

You: right

Stranger: Hell, they were still paying down the bill from my birth until I was 10.

You: yeah asian-american poverty is just something I'm so removed from it's just I don't even know what to say

Stranger: That was back when Koreans were below Hispanics on the social ladder

You: right... I didn't realize detroit or denver had any kind of korean population

Stranger: Not really, they just ended up in those places because there were jobs.

You: mhm

You: so you went through school in denver, graduated, did college, and then moved to korea?

Stranger: I went through high school in Denver, graduated, college fast-tracked from age 14, medical school from 16-22. Then got the hell out of the US.

You: oh my goodness that's incredible

Stranger: I started high school at age 8 due to the district insisting on testing me.

You: yeah um I didn't even realize that kind of thing was possible

Stranger: It is, and its just not common

Stranger: I learned a lot from the books my parents had around the apartment.

You: yeah

Stranger: Since all that they had were my father's textbooks from college and a few legal help books.

Stranger: And operating manuals, and legal documentation.

You: mhm it just sounds like such a whirlwind of stuff to go through

You: anyhow what brings you to the politics tag?

Stranger: I like politics, always have.

You: on omegle? haha ^^

Stranger: I like most politics.

You: ^^ I guess I would have imagined that most ordinary ppl who like politics would be on reddit I guess or something

You: unless they have something strange going for them lol

Stranger: I have nothing going for me politics-wise.

You: hm, but other things?

You: sorry if I'm prying

Stranger: In the medical field, yes.

You: huh?

Stranger: I'm a general practitioner, and a tenured one at that, so I'm among the ~150 important people at the KCDC.

You: oh what I meant is that I'm just surprised someone like you would be on omegle that's all haha ^^

You: since we're pretty trashy here haha

Stranger: Nowhere near as trashy as other people I've encountered

You: mhm maybe

Stranger: Namely the Detroit police department SWAT team

You: >.<

You: so do you have a list of political issues you care about the most?

Stranger: Yeah, mostly not defunding the KCDC.

You: do you get a lot of koreans on omegle?

Stranger: No, I've never encountered another Korean.

You: oh okay

You: yeah I don't think I've ever run into anyone from east asia

You: many from india though

Stranger: In case you're wondering, the KCDC is basically Korea's healthcare provider, and disease/drug regulator.

You: yeah I googled it

You: I thought korea did very well with coronavirus testing

Stranger: We did.

You: why are they trying to defund you?

Stranger: Because they want to stop covering things that many Koreans rely on, such as vision coverage (I benefit from it), as well as coverage of OTC drugs in hospitals.

You: hmm how is there not popular backlash?

You: I thought there was a general political adage that it's easy to give benefits, but hard to repeal them

Stranger: They've kept it under wraps by putting funding changes in fine print.

You: funding charges as in...?

Stranger: Funneling the money into reserves.

You: oh okay, it might be a bit over my head ^^

Stranger: Basically, the KCDC is funded in USD, so we can buy equipment without exchange rate issues, and they view the USD as a finite recourse. Its not, since saving it depreciates the value for us long-term.

You: huuh I didn't know that at all

Stranger: Meanwhile, I have to fight with a government-paid vision provider to get my new glasses.

You: btw why did your parents dislike korea so much?

Stranger: Korea was different in the 70s and 80s. The leaders were totalitarians mostly installed by the US. The economy was garbage, and it was impossible to get a stable job outside of manufacturing or the armed forces.

You: ah okay, thanks for the summary

Stranger: They were middle class in Korea, too. And they left that all for the US.

You: yeah... I didn't realize the exchange rate was so steep back then too

Stranger: Most of the reason they were poor in the US was because of their limited English.

You: Ah okay

You: What kind of conversations do you normally get into here on omegle?

Stranger: Usually something that ends with "the US owns Korea."

You: what?

Stranger: The Republicans in the US have this twisted idea that America owns Korea.

You: huh

You: and you enjoy talking to people like that?

Stranger: No, but I like trying to talk sense into them.

You: ^^;; it sounds like quite an argument

Stranger: And its hilarious to me.

You: ah yeah, I guess people do like the amusement

Stranger: I have spat out coffee laughing at their stupidity.

You: I think people come from very different places ^^

Stranger: To some of them its a foreign concept that people can make more money in countries other than the US.

You: I think it depends in part on people's skill sets

Stranger: They also don't understand how foreign currency works, since, sometimes if they ask about my pay, I give it to them in KRW.

You: lol

Stranger: They think I'm lying because the number in KRW exceeds 350 billion

Stranger: KRW is counted in a strange manner.

You: hm? how so?

Stranger: 1,000 KRW= 1 USD (one cheap meal). 100 KRW= 10 cents (which is the same cost as a burger here), 10 KRW= 1 cent (half a bottle of cola).

Stranger: You have to know it to recognize it on site.

You: huh...

Stranger: We make western money but don't pay western prices.

You: I'm just slightly confused basically

Stranger: McDonald's is expensive here, with a meal being $8.

Stranger: The only things that really cost western prices are, well... western things.

You: mhm right

You: I feel like cost-of-living in different places is always a little hard for me to grasp

Stranger: I find it amazing that Coke is considered the cheap beverage here and in the US

You: I have a suspicion that in many circumstances people are just buying the bottle

Stranger: Still, I have always viewed it as expensive.

You: I mean if you look at the price of a 2L bottle versus a small bottle?

Stranger: Yes, but, still, too pricey when I was young.

You: the drink itself must be inexpensive to manufacture

You: but the retail price is elevated substantially

Stranger: My parents always viewed it as "why spend a buck on a 2L when Faygo is 75 cents, we can barely afford it as is"

Stranger: Which ingrained it as being a luxury product in my mind

You: lol

You: idk it's cheaper than milk, juice... so many things

You: I feel like it must be bad for public health

Stranger: Faygo is and always has been cheaper

Stranger: Probably because of competition

You: oh we don't have them here

Stranger: Faygo is highly regionalized to Detroit.

You: not distributed in my area

Stranger: In fairness, it helps the cost when its bottled a few blocks from the grocer.

You: I guess that's true

You: but there are always discount soft drink brands too

You: although I was never pressed enough at cash to really look very hard at the difference between a dollar or like 90 cents...

Stranger: My parents had to look carefully at those prices

You: yeah

Stranger: What would be 45 minutes in the grocer for a person who can grab-and-go items would be 1-2 hours for us.

You: mhm

Stranger: Which is why I buy the same three things at the grocer, so I don't need to price compare

You: mhm I feel spoiled because I don't really do much coupon shopping

Stranger: For what its worth, they did get the one symbol of wealth that Korean-Americans viewed as a symbol of wealth at the time.

You: which was?

Stranger: Color television set.

You: oh

You: I think you are around a decade older than me so it's hard for me to compare and contrast

Stranger: I'm 35.

You: yup

Stranger: So, I have faint memories of the 1980s.

You: I was born int he 90's

Stranger: The 90s were a good time.

You: I have faint memories of the 90's lol ^^

Stranger: That was when we got a computer

You: sounds about right

Stranger: My uncle imported KDS systems to the US, so we got that for free.

You: huh

Stranger: KDS became Emachines, a company you might have heard of

You: nope!

Stranger: Your household probably didn't have to buy whatever the cheapest system at Wal-Mart was.

You: uhh I think our first computer was some form of macintosh

Stranger: Which are systems for the wealthy next to Korean imports.

You: yeah it's really interesting to look back at this stuff

Stranger: I sometimes wish I could go back in time, but then I realize that'd effectively be starting from scratch.

You: uh yeah, that doesn't sound very fun

Stranger: There's no real reason to look back on the past for me.

You: yeah I don't really look back this far normally either

You: do you still speak much english in everyday life btw?

Stranger: Yes, on a daily basis. To the point where I still sound American when I speak it.

You: Oh I didn't know that

Stranger: I have no issues with speaking either language, luckily.

You: mhm that really helps

You: how is your social life?

Stranger: Basically zero friends in Korea.

You: aww...

You: is there like a barrier?

You: being foreign or something?

Stranger: No, since I am not foreign in the eyes of either the Korean government nor the people.

You: ah, so you're just saying it's just you? ^^

Stranger: Yes.

You: introverted?

Stranger: Yes.

You: mhm I wish you the best!

Stranger: My parents weren't too hot on the idea of me ever having friends.

You: oh...

You: you're not around them anymroe!

You: seriously, are you doing okay?

Stranger: I'm doing fine.

You: okay ^^

You: I think it's different to be happy and introverted vs. unhappy and introverted, if you know what I mean

Stranger: Not to mention, after I moved to Denver, it became harder to make friends.

You: hm, why?

Stranger: I was 8 and in high school. Take a guess.

You: ah...

You: yeah that threw me for a loop

You: ordinarily I thought most school systems didn't allow their kids to skip too far for well... I guess social reasons?

You: idk if things changed or how things happen on way or another

Stranger: And being Korean in a majority hispanic school didn't help, either.

You: mhm

Stranger: Since that was basically right after the LA riots, which made Koreans and hispanics hate each other.

You: right...

Stranger: I did get bullied for that.

You: :c

Stranger: Metal lunch trays don't feel too good in the back of the head

You: that's terrible

Stranger: And neither does getting tied to a chair with an extension cord

You: I just can't imagine

You: people just...

Stranger: You'd think they'd show mercy on someone effectively half their age and size.

You: yeah

You: also for some reason I thought of denver as kind of like a progressive white place

You: but idk if that's just more recently

Stranger: That's modern Denver.

You: yeah

Stranger: Back then it was a rougher place.

You: mhm

You: I think you have so much in your past

You: it's a lot

Stranger: A lot of people do.

You: mhm

Stranger: Not everyone can have a pretty story filled with bubblegum and rainbows.

You: yeah...

You: it's just sad

You: or well, so many things that America turns a blind eye too

You: even now

You: a kind of semi-willful ignorance

You: in favor of narratives I guess

Stranger: It would've been nice if I didn't have to carry a revolver everywhere.

You: huh you were licensed to carry as a kid?

Stranger: From when I was 18.

You: mhm

Stranger: My parents made me get licensed out of pure fear.

You: mhm

You: idk if it's your generation, your family's socioeconomic status, location, or all of the above, but your story is just so much more raw and dramatic than those of other asian americans I've heard

Stranger: Probably a mix.

Stranger: My experiences are in-line with your average LA Korean in the early 90s.

You: right

You: I just didn't know the differences could be so stark through one or two generations

Stranger: Well, remember, a riot happened that moved the Koreans up the ladder.

You: yeah

You: or maybe there's a rift between asian americans who were hear longer versus the large influx that came in the 90s

Stranger: Probably that, since not a lot came in the 80s.

You: yeah

Stranger: I remember the first time I visited Korea, it was like a different planet.

You: mhm

You: (not that I have any idea lol XD)

Stranger: My uncle took me to Seoul in 1995, which was when I realized that Korea wasn't what my parents made it out to be (they made it out to effectively be a 3rd world country).

You: mhm

Stranger: I'd say it was that visit that made me want to leave the US

You: you went through a lot

Stranger: I do consider some of it to be a lot.

You: have you ever thought about writing it up?

You: idk assembling it into a narrative of some kind?

Stranger: I have, but I'm not comfortable with it being on paper beyond legal documents.

You: mhm okay yeah

Stranger: For example, in the file cabinet next to me I have every single even slightly legal document from when I was born until I was 30.

You: mhm... I should do a better job of getting my paperwork together

Stranger: Just opening it, there's three folders of medical papers.

You: hospital?

Stranger: No, at home. The folders even include every payment on every medical bill from back then.

You: ah I meant, you were hospitalized often?

Stranger: No. Mostly just payments from my birth, as well as vision.

You: mhm

Stranger: The vision papers are expansive.

You: right

Stranger: Considering that I've needed to wear glasses since I was 2.

You: what??

Stranger: Effectively, my vision is garbage, and has been ever since.

You: so it's getting really late for me, but I wanted to thank you for sharing everything that you did ^^

Stranger: Have a nice night.

You: thank you!

You: best of luck with everything and I hope you're able to make more friends!

Stranger has disconnected.

#omegle #race #racism #korean american #korea #food insecurity #immigrant #asian american #bullying #medicine #kcdc #guns

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viktcrr-alt · 4 years

Text

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

#huntingtonintro #death tw #grief tw #overdose tw #drugs tw #addiction tw #hospitalization tw #hypersexuality tw #murder tw #religion mentions #mental health tw

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