Sexuality headcanons for the Stardew marriage candidates let's gooo (i know they're all functionally bisexual but this is just based on vibes):
Abigail: Bisexual. Makes out with girls while drunk "for fun", takes her until her mid 20s to admit it's legit same-sex attraction.
Alex: Gay and extremely closeted. The farmer is the first person to make him feel safe enough to acknowledge his sexuality.
Elliott: Pan. Won't even notice your gender until like three weeks into your relationship because he's too busy trying to come up with suitably beautiful similes for your eyes.
Emily: Ace and extremely romantic. The type of person who, if she lived in a city, would regularly fall in love with strangers on the street because she saw them skip over a crack in the pavement or whistle at a songbird or some shit.
Haley: Mean lipstick lesbian. Also my girlfriend, so back off.
Harvey: Straight malewife. Into women who want him to be the little spoon and who will listen to him ramble about his hobbies (but he also loves to hear you go off about your own hobbies so it's all good).
Leah: Bisexual, looking for "a kindred spirit". Her and Elliott are WLW/MLM solidarity.
Maru: Comes off as ace and aro because she's always so busy with her gadgets that she seems uninterested in human relationships. Actually a bisexual secret romantic, just wants someone to stargaze with.
Penny: Lesbian. But don't get involved if you can't support her tradwife fantasy lifestyle.
Sam: Mostly straight with one exception.
Sebastian: Quintessential bi emo kid. Sam's one exception.
Shane: No.
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Hi Alex. J/olysui for the ask game. Dont hold back
ohhhhh god dude i cannot STAND that shit
like i don't think every j/olysui shipper is a Bad Person. i think a large portion of ppl read it as girlboss/malewife, which, like, fine, you do you, i won't give ppl shit for it. but that just isn't real. anasui's ass is NOT a malewife, this dude literally murdered his girlfriend
as for my ACTUAL thoughts... i just think it's bad all-around.
first of all, anasui is just really weird to jolyne. let us not forget that f.f. outright calls what he's doing sexual harassment. in no world does that make me think "oh what a cute ship!" like. brother that's awful. his repeated pursuit of her just comes off as creepy, especially considering, like i said, this guy MURDERED HIS GIRLFRIEND? when has a guy who murdered his girlfriend for cheating on him ever NOT been a huge misogynist. like. anasui needs to stay away from women forever, or at least until he changes as a person. i see people argue that none of that matters since jolyne is strong and wouldn't let herself get victimized by that, but like... that doesn't mean she deserves to have to deal with it. someone being strong doesn't mean it's cute or romantic for them to be sexually harassed by a guy who has a clear record of violence against the women he dates. it's still fucked up.
also, i just don't think anasui understands jolyne. he claims to love her for her strength and resolve, and i think that's part of why people ship them, but when anasui first says this, he's never even spoken to her. later, when jolyne asks anasui to save f.f., he explicitly says no, because he only cares about jolyne - but f.f. is someone who jolyne cares about, whose friendship makes jolyne happy. in fact, her bonds with her family and friends are part of what jolyne strong in the first place. if anasui really understood jolyne, he would know that, and if he really loved her for who she was, he would try to help her friend. but he doesn't try to save them, because he doesn't really understand her or love her for who she is. how could he? he barely knows her. it's the idea of jolyne that he loves. that makes for what would be miserable hypothetical romance - and makes their actual relationship feel even more creepy.
on jolyne's end, she just clearly is not interested in him at all. there are lots of scenes where her rejection of anasui is kind of accidental and unknowing, but there are also some where she clearly knows what's going on and isn't humoring it. she ignores his advances extremely pointedly and doesn't give any indication that she'd be willing to enter a relationship with him until the very end of the part - and even then, i tend to interpret her encouraging anasui to confess as less of a "ask me to marry you because i'll say yes" and more "ask me to marry you because i want you to forthrightly put yourself out there for the sake of your own development as a person." like, i don't think she hates or even really dislikes him, but she's not into him, either.
also, it just... doesn't make since to me for jolyne's character arc. jolyne starts part 6 in a relationship with a man who throws her under the bus to save his own ass, and she spends a large chunk of the part surrounded by and bonding with people who aren't men. i think there's something to be said about jolyne finding strength that way and realizing she doesn't really need to date a man to be happy - at least, i like to read it that way. having her end up with anasui feels really reductive in that sense - and i have issues with irene and annakiss for that reason. i honestly feel like araki pulled that because he wanted to end the part on a somewhat optimistic note, and Boy And Girl End Up Dating means the ending is optimistic, right...? but i also think it's worth noting that jolyne both begins and ends the story of part 6 riding in the car with a boyfriend, and we all know how her and romeo's romance ended up...
anyways. i don't even dislike anasui tbh. i think he's a fun character at times, and also he's pink and transgender so that's cool. but his interactions with jolyne make me uncomfortable and i think she deserves way better. they're not even unhealthy in an interesting way! every aspect of j/olysui is fundamentally opposed to everything i like in a ship. LEAVE HER ALONE GET A JOB
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this just in! teenage female-adjacent gets way too emotional about a 1920s butler
alex idk how many posts of mine you look at but do not read this please and thank u 🙂🙂🙂🙂
ok i know this is pointless but i needed to get it off my chest (tw for brief mention of suicide attempt)
dudes i’m just so sad about how thomas’ plotline ended. i really try to convince myself it’s good that he’s happy now but?? where are my standards for happiness really at?? because to the best of my recollection:
- thomas meets rich stranger
- rich stranger hits on him
- thomas awkwardly stands there
- rich stranger offers to take him back to america to be his servant/malewife after having 2-3 vaguely flirty romantic interactions with him
- thomas accepts and resigns from a position he nearly killed himself for 2ish years ago
and dude, i really miss richard ellis. i got so excited when thomas had a good age/class-appropriate boyfriend who seemed to be an awesome counterbalance to him, had great chemistry with him, and seemed to make him happy. and then they just completely scrapped that plotline and threw him together with a random guy he barely knew and had a very strained relationship with from the start. i just. idk.
i know some people are very happy about this, and that’s great! i’m just really not and i keep thinking about it so i really needed to write it down.
not to get overly personal about this but thomas barrow has been a huge comfort character to me through a large chunk of my life. i started watching downton abbey when i was 12 years old and immediately latched onto him because he was exactly like me, mean closet-case disaster homosexual with much internalized rage and mega depression. needless to say that he meant so so much to me in a time that was really hard for me
so mainly because of that it’s just hard to let go of the fact that i really just can’t see him being happy in california husband/servant to this guy he barely knows at all??? richard ellis, in my mind, would just have been so much of a better match for him, and it’s really unfair that they just... got rid of him.
thomas/guy shippers please dont reprimand me for this post i have nothing against you, this rant is entirely for me and is not meant to change anyone’s minds. anyway cheers, if you agree and would like to rage with me about it feel free to reply or whateva :,)
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tfes thoughtz
not quite a liveblog as I am wont to do but ruth and I watched tf earthspark so I figured id write down scattered thoughts bc who KNOWS when the next eps are dropping and id love to remember what I think of things whenever that rolls around
so let me start off by saying this show is banger. we rlly like it so far awww
still also gotta say rip cyberverse, that show was SO good and died too soon :(
but yeah I like this show a lot!!! I rlly dig how it looks, I wasn’t sure about the art style/3d animation at first but it looks really good. better than cyberverse if I'm honest (sorry cybv your budget probably wasn’t as good its not ur fault)
I loooove that we’re starting off at an interesting point in which the autobot-decepticon war is over and has been for a while, and megatron is on the same side as the bots, but there’s still conflict....LOVE IT
cyberverse was also based for having the war going on but in a different way than shows usually did, and having the sides kind of aware of how fruitless the fighting was, and then eventually w the quintessons the two sides had to unite. anyways I have a whole separate post on cyberverse so I should chill
the human characters are great. I feel like there's the right amount of focus on them and I really dig the family dynamic we’re getting. the kids are cute and fun and I love their relationships w/the bots...I love that mo calls OP “mr optimus” awww
I love the parents also. alex husband of the year he’s so great. and dorothy is so cool and I LOVE her and megatron. they’re like platonic malewife-girlboss. power bffs.
LOVE how she doesn’t like OP but like megatron. SO funny.
I really enjoy that the robots aren’t ‘in disguise’ either - the world seems to be aware of them and their existence and the war that went on. that’s cool! I like that a lot; ik the tagline for tf is ‘robots in disguise’ and all but if u think about it they weren’t really hidden in g1 even
Love that there’s comics about the tfs in canon too
I really like this bumblebee!! his design is so cute and I really appreciate that he isn’t ‘the kid’ in this, and has to assume a more mentor-like role. very cool and entertaining
ok and the terrans are adorable. theyre just babies and I love them. I looove how they were adopted into the malto family its so cute. I’m enjoying them and their antics and I feel like there’s a great mix of cute hijinks w/them learning how to be tfs, and also with other plot stuff
LOOOOVE the plot implications. JUICY!!!!!!!!!! GHOST is so fucking sketchy I LOVE THAT. I love that OP is working for them, and has a sense of ‘I’m doing this for the greater good/this is a means to an end (the end being peace)’ but OP seems to know that GHOST is sketchy as fuck - with him hiding the terrans’ existence and bumblebee being alive from them...but also he tells megatron to give them a chance, which is very OP of him, so that makes sense, but I’m curious if it’ll blow up in his face ((it totally will))
megatron was RIGHT in that one ep where he was trashing GHOST. them having all those cons locked up is bad news. and ruth pointed out that we haven’t even seen who’s in charge of GHOST which is pretty concerning.
also I can’t believe that one agent guy isn’t voiced by will arnett bc he totally sounds like him
I super loved the flashbacks of the cybertronian history that were animated in g1 style :’) it reminded me of in tfa where they used clips from g1 as part of the history lesson
I loooove megatron in this show he’s so cool. he gives me some mtmte megatron vibes - he basically says that he agreed to join GHOST/the autobot side in order to protect the cons from worse consequences. I’m interested to hear more about the war and what went on. I’d love some war flashbacks personally
I like that he clearly doesn’t want to hurt the decepticons or hand them over to GHOST, and also the cons think of him as a traitor, but it seems rough for cons out there. what else are they gonna do?
I think it would be epic if they paralleled OP and megatron - with OP joining up with GHOST bc he think he’s doing the right thing for his species and humans, only to discover that GHOST is fr bad news - and megatron binding himself to service w/GHOST and the autobots in exchange for supposed safety (?or something? Not super clear what the cons/megatron got out of that bargain) for the cons, only to discover (as he basically already did) that the cons aren’t doing great out there and they think of him as a traitor
also mandroid is actually pretty interesting for a human villain. I was expecting not to like him (espec at the beginning, he reminded me of silas from tfp who ended up being a nuisance and didn’t really have a point in the plot imo) bc tf human villains are more often miss than hit but he’s interesting
I like that he has pretty legit reasons to want to get rid of the “invasive species” (as a biologist I love that phrasing), after he got drafted into the war and then injured in friendly fire
LOVED the part where he talks about this and dot is like ‘yeah I also got injured in the war and that sucks for us but I’m judging you based on your actions and YOU suck’ that was so epic she’s so epic and cool
and he knows alex??? ?? fruity ????? are they exes??? whats the vibe. I bet alex used to work for GHOST and that’s how he and dot met
having a whole ass giant robot arm is wild tho. no way that’s how it works bro
also what happened to swindle. he was so funny. he sounds like meowth from the 4kidz dub lmfao
SOUNDWAVE BRO I fucking love him. icon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO happy that his cassettes are here and actually turn into cassettes and not other more modern stuff. I love that anachronism sm
thank god frenzy is here. I hope rumble shows up too (tho bumblebee talking about how one of the cassettes exploded ???? hi????)
we saw starscream for like 0.2 seconds but I’m ready for him to cause havoc like the annoying bitch he is <333
super interesting that the world is cut off from cybertron and has been for quite a while. I think OP also mentioned that the cybertronians on earth are likely the last of their kind - I’m curious if that’s true or if there’s a bunch of them on cybertron a la the 1984 movie. I bet there is, no way cybertron is empty. pleaseeee I want hot rod and ultra magnus and all them I’d cry
also congrats to skywarp and nova storm and frenzy on the transgenderism <3
oh yeah and I LOVE arcee. she’s like Question Authority Barbie. Bite Chomp Kill Barbie. SO good. I love her design and alt mode and how she taught the kids not to blindly follow the people in charge. ICON.
the 3 new bots are cute, but ruth and I couldn’t get over the fact that they were born and then IMMEDIATELY thrown into a conflict before even getting alt modes. omg
ruth: ‘they already have blue hair and pronouns tho!’
LMFAO TRUTH. I LOVEEEE that nightshade goes by they/them :’) we didn’t expect that at all and it was such a good surprise
also hashtag gay???? #GAY????
can’t BELIEVE that bot is named hashtag. immmmmm
tho ruth and I both agree that the cast is full enough and having 3 new terrans might be too much, so we’ll see how that goes - I kinda feel like they’ll end up more on the periphery and only show up sometimes. we’ll see tho!
holy SHIT the fight scenes bro. specifically in the last 2 eps, oh my GOD. SOOOO fucking juicy. I’m gonna make a separate post abt that but they were EXCELLENT. one place I think cyberverse was weak in was the fight scenes - in s1 I would say they were actively boring (sorry cybv ily) and they got better but still were a bit clunky and awkward and formulaic. I feel like it was due to animation/budget constrictions more than anything
but yeah these fights scenes rocked. I especially love the 2d smoke and fire effects
I just wanna know more about the war too!!! like mandroid got injured, it seems, from friendly fire - did Dot as well? is that why she doesn’t seem to like or trust OP as much?
also megatron has been working w them for 15 years - what were the previous 15 years like? what was the war like? why were they fighting? what exactly made them stop? how many other tfs are on earth? when did GHOST start being a thing? are there gonna be combiners???? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
biggest Q is when are the next eps coming out. pls not in like 6 mos.
also w the fight scenes. skywarp’s warping looks SO FUCKING COOOOOL I’m so glad. yesssss
I feel kinda bad for the cons tbh. they seem scattered and lost, with no real leader, and they’re apparently disappearing (presumably mandroid) or being imprisoned by GHOST, who I'm SURE doesn’t have any ill intentions...I wonder if the show will continue to take a more sympathetic approach to the cons (kinda like mtmte, where they kinda had a point at the beginning before they lost the thread w/all the murdering and whatnot)
also I love everyone’s designs generally but I still think OPs face looks weird hgfajkdfksjndfkj whenever he has the faceplate off I'm like Put That Back On Please.
I like that the humans are directly involved in the plot in a way that makes sense bc the human world has already been to war with/alongside the tfs, so there are a ton of different relationships that humans can have w/the tfs. this is way more interesting than st like tfp, which I think did a pretty bad job integrating the humans, or tfa, which had Sari w/a macguffin that was plot-important in order to keep her involved
tbf that’s kinda going on w/the kids having links to the terrans but I like the way it’s played out so far. I love the suggestions of lore we’ve gotten too, w/quintus prime and stuff
also they’ve made a point of showing that symbol in the cave where the terrans were born MORE THAN ONCE, and it totally looks like those spiderbots, so I’m thinking there’s definitely a connection there. something weird is going on
ok also SUPER fucking funny that wheeljack showed up and found out he kinda has a kid and IMMEDIATELY decides he’s a deadbeat dad hvbkjdsfbjksandfkl. I mean he came around in the end but that was so fucking funny. PLEASE SIR
when they bonded by shooting at each other (lmao? classic tfs) and then twitch was like aww lets hug and he didn’t even notice lmfao sir plssss
I wonder if the dinobots will show up and if they’ll still have been created by wheeljack (and ratchet) like in g1
also kind of hilarious how megatron was like ‘no I don’t wanna hurt the cassettes’ and then when the seekers attacked he was like ‘fuck them kids’ and went all out fighting them lmao
I’m super curious how the megatron starscream dynamic will be in this show
oh yeah and ruth pointed out that it’s interesting that the three new terrans are bigger than the original 2 terrans and I feel like it’s bc they were created DURING an active conflict and basically got MTO’d into a fight. Ls
firstborn vs secondborn vibes lmfao
ok and quintus prime....r we gonna get quintessons. hello. I would LOVE that the quintessons are like my fav antagonists (especially in cyberverse they were so good. man I should rewatch cyberverse)
I think the quintessons are perfect villains for cases like this where the autobots and decepticons aren’t fighting each other. I’d love to see the quintessons as the villains after GHOST is dealt with
maybe the tfs on cybertron are already dealing w/the quintessons?
omfg and the ep where bumblebee is trying to call OPs comm and megatron and then elita pick up instead ?? hello ??? polycule?????
I wanna see more of elita 1 too! shes so cool
also I kinda belatedly realized that this megatron doesn’t seem to have the same dislike for organics/earth people as he does in a lot of other media (most notably in idw1). that’s interesting and I like that we’re exploring a different side of his character, and I like seeing humans hanging with him. he and dot are great and I hope we get more of them, including flashbacks
anywaysss that’s all the thoughts I have for now, tune in for more next time byeeee
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Um…I would like some of the romance book recs please, it’s for research purposes 📝
cracks knuckles. okay first of all, more tame romances.
The love hypothesis - this started as reylo fanfiction LMFAO and you can definitely tell the characters (adam and olive) are meant to be rey and kylo but this romance is everything to me. ita fake dating w a grumpy hero and a sunshine heroine except he's never grumpy towards her and is SUCH a simp. this made me melt and didn't have gratuitous sex in it, so if you want a sweet tropey romcom please please please. the sex scene it does have is like.......a religious experience though.
The off campus series - im just putting the series here bc its honestly binge worthy. Its about hockey players and their romances and its very tropey and very much giving the fantasy of reforming a manwhore and making him your malewife. my favorites are probably the first and third book bc the first deals with a himbo and the third deals with a pretty boy literally folding in half over some pussy. i adore this series and if you end up liking the author you can binge the spinoff series too! Dean is literally my boyfriend. The smut in this is...yeah.
People we meet on vacation - i blame this book for putting me on my friends to lovers shit atm. its an opposites attract romance and the main characters name is POPPY. anyway poppy is like springy and flirty and energetic and alex is the nerd who's like stingy and introverted but goes out of his comfort zone for her. It spans over years and flips between past and present. Not super smutty but HEAPS of sexual tension and chemistry and enough steam for there to be a payoff for all the pining they do.
The kiss quotient - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WHATS NIT TO FUCKING ADORE HERE. amazing rep, not only poc rep but autism rep as well. The hero in this is absolutely one of my top book boyfriends. Hes just...hes just....hes just. Fucking. The most considerate, patient gentle and sexy ass man to exist gn. And hes also a sex worker so YAY for that rep as well. The sex in this......toes curling eyes rolling back when is it my turn
It ends with us - NOW THIS. okay so if you're new to romance and don't know colleen hoover, check for trigger warnings on all her books. this deals with domestic abuse and the romance i love in this book is NOT between the main character and her abuser. Lily and atlas have...the most gentle love story. It makes me cry. There is not much steam in this at all its more emotional and heavy bc of its topic but the romance that does develop is so tension filled and like....intimate. its my favorite book couple and one of my favorite books from her.
Maybe someday - ANOTHER coho book. Again check the triggers bc this one deals w cheating. But its fiction so idrc LMFAO. Its not a spoiler bc its literally in the synopsis but the two main characters Sydney and ridge have SO much chemistry its insane. Ridge has a gf and Sydney just got out of a relationship so they start out as friends and then it goes from there. I just....something about their chemistry. Also deaf representation bc ridge is death! This isn't smutty but it had one of the most tension filled scenes I've ever read without sex that had me blushing and clenching my thighs. It involves a pen that's all I'll say.
The Calloway sisters - this is a spinoff from another series but honestly i just skipped those and read this one because the romance intrigued me more. Its between rose and connor and when i tell you connor is deadass one of the sexiest men alive i mean it. His energy is unmatched. Unparalleled. U can't beat it hes so perfect its GROSS. its enemies to lovers but not really because connor is whipped and endeared by everything rose does and just likes to verbally spar with her. Very spicy. Very.
Punk 57 - my favorite romance to exist ever for ever. I base my fanon eren off misha. That's all i need to say. Misha is everything to me. This is the enemies to lovers angsty smutty drama filled romance of your dreams with the pretty popular girl and the outcast loner guy. I have the physical copy and have annotated all over it im obsessed. Also Penelope Douglas in general writes the hottest smut you will ever read. Its honestly not even a contest.
Birthday girl - yet another PD book i am just her biggest fan. This is an age gap with a girl falling for her boyfriends dad and.....uh huh. Uh huh. Surprisingly very sweet.
Now we're onto.....some...darker romance. These are romances that in general potray toxic relationships and are filled w smut and are just to fuel all your toxic fantasies LMFAO
The made series - the sweetest oblivion and the maddest obsessed specifically. Its a mafia romance so like. General warnings for that. Nico and elena in the first book make me want to throw myself into a pool i literally couldn't read this in public i love them so so much. Nico is my boyfriend. CHRISTIAN THO????? hes the hero of the second book and like.....if nico is my boyfriend than hes my husband. He is just......he literally has to go to therapy to reign in his obsession with his love interest and it doesn't work. Hes also russian. Goodnight.
The devils night series - this series is like. My biggest fantasy come to life. Four over privileged hot guys wanting revenge on their respective love interests. This is also from Penelope Douglas and. And. I CANNOT recommend her enough. She is my everything. The four horsemen (the main heros) are crack. I re-read this series every month. Michael is like...boyfriends older brother who you're obsessed with but he barely knows you exist trope. Kai is the level headed guy losing his cool over the girl hes in love with who makes him work for it trope. Damon is just the villian you're in love with and will is the popular boy in love with the nerd who doesn't give him the time of day. I have dreams about these characters that's how deeply obsessed i am with this series.
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