#he didn't have a lot of frames :((((

[bidokja]

I was joking a while back that the actor they have playing KDJ for the orv movie was too handsome for him and a friend who's read orv was like "KDJ is actually secretly attractive!!" And I just felt my soul leave my body right then

SIGHS...

Okay. Buckle in. I'm gonna finally actually address and explain and theorize about this whole...thing.

I'm not gonna cite any exact chapters cause it's like 11:30 and I've got an 8 hour drive in the morning but I'll at least make an approximate reference to where certain things are mentioned. Also, this post is just my personal interpretation for a good bit of it, but it's an interpretation I feel very solid about, so do with that what you will. Moving on to the meat of things:

There is one (1) instance in the web novel that I know of which describes specific features of Kim Dokja (especially ones other people notice). This takes place when members of KimCom are trying to make Kim Dokja presentable to give his speech at the Industrial Complex (after it's been plopped down on Earth). This is when they start really paying attention and focusing on Kim Dokja's appearance since they're putting makeup on him; I still don't think they can interpret his whole face, but they can accurately pick out and retain more features than usual. If I remember correctly they reference him having long eyelashes, smooth skin, and soft hair. These features can be viewed as (stereotypically) attractive.

Certain parts of the fandom have taken this scene and run with it at a very surface level, without realizing (or without acknowledging at the very least) that this scene is not about how Kim Dokja looks. This is, in part, due to not realizing or acknowledging why Kim Dokja's face is "censored" in the first place, and what that censoring actually means. I think it's also possible that some people are assuming the censorship works like a physical phenomena rather than an altered perception.

I'll address that last point first. The censorship of Kim Dokja's features is not something as simple as a physical phenomena. It's not a bar or scribble or mosaic over his face. If that were true it'd be very obvious to anyone looking at him that his face is hidden. But his face is not hidden to people. They can look at him and see a face. If they concentrate on his eyes, they can see where he's looking. They know when he's frowning or grinning. They see a face loud and clear. But what face are they seeing? Because it's not really his, whatever they're seeing.

No one quite agrees on what he really looks like. And if they try and think about what he looks like, they can't recall. Or if they do, it's vague, or different each time. We notice these little details throughout the series. Basically, Kim Dokja's face is cognitively obscured. Something - likely the Fourth Wall, though I can't recall if this is ever stated outright - is interfering with everyone's ability to perceive him properly. This culminated in him feeling off to others; and since they don't even realize this is happening, they surmise that he is "ugly."

Moving on to the other point about what the censorship means: To be blunt, the censorship of his face is an allegory for his disconnect from the "story" (aka: real life, and the real people at his side). The lifting - however slight - of this censorship represents him becoming more and more a part of the "story" (aka: less disconnected from the life he is living and the people at his side). The censorship's existence and lifting can represent other things - like dissociation or depersonalization or, if you want to get really meta, the fact that he is all of our faces at once - but that's how I'd sum up the main premise of it. (The Fourth Wall is a larger part of the dissociation allegory, but that's for another post).

So you see, them noticing his individual features isn't about the features. It's not about the features! It doesn't matter at all which features got listed. Because they could describe any features whatsoever and it would not change the entire point of the scene. Because the point isn't what he looks like. The point is that they can truly and clearly see these features. For the first time. They are seeing parts of him for the first time. Re-read that sentence multiple times, literally and metaphorically. What does it mean to see someone as they are?

This is an extremely significant turning point dressed up as a dress-up scene.

---

P.S. / Additionally, I'm of the opinion that Kim Dokja is not handsome, and he is not ugly. He is not pretty, and he is not ghastly. Not attractive, nor unattractive. Kim Dokja isn't any of these things. More importantly, Kim Dokja can't be any of these things. The entire point of Kim Dokja is that you cannot pick him out of a crowd; he is the crowd. He's a reader. He's the reader. Why does he need to be handsome? Why must he be pretty? Why is him being attractive necessary or relevant? He doesn't, he doesn't, it's not. He is someone deeply deeply loved and irreplaceable to those around him, and someone who cannot even begin to recognize or accept that unless it's through a love letter masquerading as a story he can read. He is the crowd, a reader, the reader. He's you, he's me. He's every single one of us.

#orv #orv analysis #orv meta #orv spoilers #mine #ask #there's also the meta that he is described with these (stereotypically) pretty features as they are about to try and 'sell' him to a crowd #which feels to me like a very pointed way to convey how 'beauty' is commodified. how audiences like 'attractive' characters more #note: made some edits to add in a couple of sentences my brain forgot in the moment so make sure u reblogged those if u do #tag edits for further commentary that isnt strictly relevant to the point i was making: #do i think that this face censorship was executed as well as it could have been? nah. #not that it was like. done Badly. it's followed through to a certain point. its established enough for me to make this post at least. #but i do think it is the one thing in the web novel that SS didn't capitalize on. #like. they still stuck the landing but it was not as picture perfect of an execution as the rest of the metaphorical stuff in orv #also. this (not the face censorship specifically but the 'hes just some guy' point of it all) is one of the big reasons i think that- #-visual adaptions of orv can never quite work. they can do the best that they can with that medium but a lot of nuance is lost- #-simply by virtue of it being a visual medium #i personally think the only way a visual medium could work would be one where they commit to the power move of not showing kdj's face #(until a certain point (of view) that is) #his face is always facing away or out of frame or hidden by someone or something else in the way #commit to the fucking allegory or simply perish

[sysig]

For the last day of requestober, can you please draw something spooky/scary with Negative RGB? With all the cool lighting stuff you've been doing recently, I think it could be very dramatic, and I'd love to see him in your style!

Day 31 -Pl̷̼͙̯̼̟̈́͒̃̓͆e̵̢͔̞̤̯͗as̴̨͆̒̏e dö̸̧̢̝̳́͝ not̸̨̞͔̗͆̔͝ͅ ̶̦̋͒a̵̪͋̉̈́̒djus̶̪͔͎̘͈̍́̂̅̚t yö̶̙̺͎́͘u̷͚̙̿̓͆r sc̸̙͍͒rę̸̰̺̣̿̓͌̔̎en̴̏̈́͊ͅ

#My art #Requestober #The Property of Hate #TPoH #Negative #Flashing gif #I wanted to go out with a bang :) #I had a lot of fun with the textures on this one haha ♪ #I have actually drawn Negative before but I've only posted him once as a vent :0 #He didn't make it over to my taglist 'cause TPoH was the Thing while I was making that sideblog lol - a few things fell through the cracks #Plus I mean vent is just like that sometimes :P #But! He is not vent here! He is just funsies! :D #And those textures were definitely funsies >:3c It was very cool to chip away at them and let them interplay and overlay hehe #I did really want the lighting to be the highlight - no pun intended - since you mentioned it specifically lol #Backlighting again! >:3c I will continue to do it until it stops looking cool! Haha ♪ #The rest is just Negative being spooky all on his lonesome haha he's just like that! #Doing his screen glow was very rewarding ahhh ♥ I've always really loved that hard/soft glow look #I'm still figuring it out but I'm quite pleased with how this one turned out! :D #Also would you like a secret/hint on textures? Hehehe - those static frames? :3c #They're just zoomed-in carpet swatches on the Binary layer type - turn them up and down and rotate to make them unique! #Anyhow hehe ♪ Happy Halloween! :D Happy spooky season! Thank you all for a fun month!! <3 <3

[front-facing-pokemon]

#spoink #the first pokémon you ever do a request for in pmd sky… the only thing i know about this pokémon #she lost the pearl on her head and needed you to go find it. in what‚ drenched bluff‚ right? the second dungeon of the game after beach cave #i believe so. then she gives you a thousand poké and your partner is like holy FUCK we're RICH and chatot is like Nononono #that bitch. i'll never forgive him… even if he is… a generally likable character… depriving recruits of food because they got framed #is a LITTLE HARSH? i know he didn't Know they got framed but even if they weren't framed it's still a bit harsh. so. he's a bitch #but he's our bitch. this is not about spoink. i'll save That conversation for gen 4. i'll have a lot to say about that little man #something-something wigglytuff trans. here's spoink #couldn't remember if it was spoink or sproink at first. dunno why. but it's spoink i think #i'm gonna eat food now. i have not eaten all day and it's like 2 PM. see you at uuuhhhh grumpig

[harbingersecho]

RVBtober 8+9 > fall + revelation "You know, sometimes, when somebody falls off a cliff in movies, he's actually just over the edge, hanging on a tree branch or something." "Nope. He's definitely dead."

... and he is. presumably.

(also if you ever decide to try and make a 2-page comic in 2 days even if half of it is just a paintover. don't do that. that's the devil talking)

#rvb #red vs blue #rvbtober #meta #simmons #grif #grimmons #dick simmons #dexter grif #mine #*23 #comic #OOOH MY god i finally finished this piece of shit. i debated just posting the last pic bc i like it a lot but then i'd have made those 2 #other ones for nothing... lol i almost gave up on this like 20 times i don't have the comic makers temperament. anyway #this is classic angst fuel material but its timeless. its good. #i've read some 'grif dies/is presumed dead/theyre seperated' things and 1 thing i love abt them is that simmons always goes insane in them. #grif is his emotional support boy you can NOT seperate them. like that fanart with nervous hare simmons and cute bunny grif #its them boiled down to their essence. hare simmons bunny grif. i sound insane rn but hare simmons bunny grif! #those 2 frames where maine grabs grif and he falls down. honestly i love them sooo much even tho they're just kinda goofy sketches. wah #also rip maine my baby. you didn't deserve to go like that. god he died submerged in water and bleeding out. #also its fun that simmons' voice is all screechy but grif is all wobbly. he's freestyling across the upper ranges. siMmoOoOoNs! vs GRIF!!!

[transformers-synergize]

SKYFIRE IS ENORMOUS, HE'S SO BIG HE DOESN'T EVEN FULLY FIT LOVE HIM FOR IT

Yes, Skyfire is shuttle sized, so he is a vary VARY BIG bot

He is a shuttle seeker and is the biggest stranded autobots by far. Seeing as other than him, the autobots only have standard builds, minis, and a few cassettes. He is also one of the 3 autobots flyers stranded on earth and the autobots only seeker. being able to fly both in both his alt mode and robot mode, while the other two (tracks&Powerglide) are normal flyers and can only fly in their alt modes.

He has a very unique place among the autobots being frozen in ice he missed the war and all the hardship that came with it, sometimes feeling disconnected from many the other autobots unable to fully relate to this hardship the rest of them had to go through. that is not the only way he doesn't fit in he's too big to fit in the ark and uses a nearby abandoned warehouse for shelter instead. most the autobots are nice to him, and make efforts to help him feel welcomed witch he appreciate. but he's used to not fitting in even on cybertron were some places were built to accommodate shuttles he still felt a bit out of place their being the only shuttle he knew who pursued science or any kind of higher education. And other than places custom built for his size, most of Cybertron was too tiny for him.

The decepticons have a shuttle of their own Astrotrain. along with most of the decepticons being seekers and war builds, but even though he might fit in better size wise with the decepticons, he couldn't be farther from them Morality wise.

#skyfire #ask answering #tfr #art post #text post #will probably reuse this size chart #he doesn't feel like he fits in physically or emotionally #skyfire doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere sometimes #their are 33 autbots 29 if you discount cassettes and only 3 can fly #i know you didn't ask for a info dump but ya getting a info dump lol #shuttle are not dumb they just dont often pressue higher education because 1 the size problem #2 because they are such valuable build they r always needed but are hard to make so they often get benefits other more common builds dont #3 lot of societal pressure to fulfill your frames purposes especially when you have a rare hard to make and hard to spark frame

[skitskatdacat63]

“Amore et Timore” - King Fernando I “El Animoso”

#*why is it that when I write tags that are genuinely imporant and wordy it always doesnt save UGH #well. ill try and rewrite them. #hahaha I bring you curly haired king Fernando!!(mostly for cofi) #2011 monza gp core Fernando that gripped us all by the throat right?? right???? #also i hope that his hair doesn't appear red to you like it did to me on my pc??? its brown I assure you #anyways! historical context for nerds like me: #'el animoso'(the spirited) comes from Philip V of course #it was apparently bestowed on him bcs of his perseverance and unwavering fervor in battle #and is that not the most Fernando coded thing youve ever heard????? #'Amore et Timore'(through love and fear) however comes from Joseph I #whom seb is partially based on but i thought his Latin motto fit Nando way better so here we are #philip v didn't have a motto as far as i could tell so that's why I stole Joseph's #but i do think the motto for the Spanish kingdom fits Fernando's career pretty well? #'A solis ortu usque ad occasum'(from sunrise to sunset) and i think that suits Fernando's 'longest f1 career ever' p well #anyways I sent a sketch of this to cofi the other day like yeah I probably wont finish this #and now here i am on 5 am on a tuesday grinning manically sleep deprived like HERE YOU GO #i think he looks very cute in this!!! i really did a lot of work on his eyelashes...very important detail to me #he kinda accidentally looks like Louis XIV unfortunately #but thats down to his hair I think. it looks a lot more like the traditional wig style from then compared to what I typically draw #but god imagine being seb in this au!!! you get to wake up next to this majestic beast.... #seb would have this painting framed over his bed or something. i mean who wouldn't???? #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #boy king au

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

if scars don't make man look good then being alive sure does

#mafia 2 #henry tomasino #frank vinci #there's going to be a lot of text in hashtags here so first of all: #i gave up at things like “they wouldn't do/say that” at this point #ooc and “what if” are more interestning and entertaining for me sorry mafia fandom #i like to spin the plot and characters like a rubik's cube #so stopping w rat!henry and continue with survived!henry who's true purpose was to became the head of falcone family #so the drug thing was just a way to frame falcone and get vinci to the point where he decided to do away with falcone #because of the increased drug traffic #henry always struck me as the most conservative of the (relatively) young mobsters #so i guess he wouldn't have gone on about the drugs and gotten vinci's sympathy because of it #yet henry didn't expect an attack from the triads and the fact that he survived only reinforced his religiosity #now he wears a rosary and prays more often than he used to #<- i'm actually too lazy to think about the details of how it might work so whatever #and I know the mafia chief's photo wasn't on the wall #but it's more symbolism about the change of power and prioritizing religiosity over personality #i just think he could be a good leader + there's a lot about his pride here #and tbh i just wanted to see him with the scars but my brain can't do anything without a plot #and sunglasses instead of an eye patch #and yeah my brain refuses to believe that he was just overconfident and really believed that there would be no repercussions -> #for selling drugs under the nose of falcone who clearly wanted to become a monopoly in this field #also i don't really care that much about henry surviving tbh #i mean his death fits the story well because it's after all a mob story (no matter was he a rat or not) #(i'm being a bit of a hypocrite here bc i refuse to believe that joe is dead) #“survive and take power” version is just interestning for me #but if i put aside all of this ooc #naah he was too pathetic to do this fr #k im too lazy to write anything further #thank you for coming to my ted talk

[bucksboobs]

I’m the anon from the post before and I understand what you mean! I guess I just took differently when I watched the show. I don’t think Charlie or Nick was upset about Ben being closeted I think they (especially Charlie) we’re just upset how Ben treated Charlie the entire. Also I’m not saying this to be rude or start anything this is just how I saw it:) I think Charlie was angry (as he should) about how Ben treated him through out the relationship they had and not about him being closeted. Because I do believe if Ben just communicated better and treated him better and didn’t treat Charlie the way he did it could’ve worked out. I’m just saying that I didn’t see them bashing Ben for being closeted only bashing him for treating Charlie the way he did without acknowledging how it felt for him.

Yeah I don't think Charlie or Nick is mad about Ben being closeted but weirdly I think the narrative is and that's what irks me. All his issues and bad behaviors are because he's closeted (you said yourself that it's because he's closeted that he treats Charlie the way he does) but the story doesn't seem interested in exploring that so much as punishing him for it by having both Imogen and Charlie yell at him and then throwing him out of the series before he can improve at all.

And when this show is so renowned for it's love and celebration of queer experiences and identity it will always feel out of place that Ben was left out in the dust seemingly because he and his experiences were too complex.

#ben hope #heartstopper #sorry if you really like the show but I am absolutely not the only one that found the handling of Ben uncomfortable #especially when the character is so so young literally the same age as Nick #to deny him the chance to grow feels wrong to me and a lot of other gay men who didn't have our shit together by 16 #like this kid hasn't even taken his GSCE's which I assume are similar to the SATs or the Baccalauréat! #he needs to be given the opportunity to grow and he essentially gets the door shut in his face when he's trying to apologize #and to add to it Charlie gets that 'ambush me into accepting your apology' line that once again frames his own growth as a manipulation #which is FUCKED UP! #and from a writing perspective portrays the hand of the author pointing and screaming Hate This Boy Hate Him Hate Him #and the hand of the author should not be that obvious #it makes it feel disingenuous and as if Ben is just a stand in for someone who treated the author poorly #again this is all from a narrative perspective not a character perspective I want to make that clear because I see gay mutuals being lit up #by people who think Charlie should have been forced to forgive Ben or something #but thats not at all the argument any of us are making here

[kaurwreck]

fav chuuya trivia: he’s a lightweight and a wine collector. combine it with the fact that poisons a weakness for him, ability wise, and too much alcohol is in fact poison. he chooses that often.

bonus: combine that with the fact that dazai’s coming of age came with going to a bar, and i don’t know what that means

anon cause shy

Untitled I. My dear, even though you treat me kindly, I'm stubborn. After we parted last night, I went drinking and berated some weakling. This morning, Waking up, I remember your kindness And sadly reflect on my vile behavior. And now, I, a total fraud, will here confess that, without shame, Stripped of all dignity, and therefore lacking honesty— I was urged on by my own illusions, raving mad. [...] III. In this world we sadly live in like this, your heart— Don't let it grow stubborn my dear Because I hope for intimacy with you Your heart— don't let it grow stubborn my dear.

[Excerpted from Poems of the Goat, written by Chuuya Nakahara, translated by Ry Beville]

#bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs #japanese poetry #thank you for sharing!! #no need to explain anon to me #you are entitled to your mysteries and boundaries and bashfulness #i have anon on because i feel comfy and fine with people engaging however feels most comfortable to them #also i'm going to avoid commenting on what y'all share because i'm already sharing in return by offering up chuuya poetry that strikes me #and because i don't want anyone to think that a lack of a more specific response isn't because i didn't go !!!!! at what they shared #(this exercise is designed so I can also work throughout the day while getting chuuya enrichment) #BUT #alcohol IS poison and that's something I've thought about a lot in my framing of it for myself and generally #but I've never connected it with chuuya's vulnerability to poison and how it is such an equalizer #and how when shirase wanted to ground him and render him someone shirase felt he could face both honestly and to fight he poisoned him #i wonder if alcohol makes chuuya feel a teeny bit more visceral and real and like a person in a body #rather than an experiment or a leader or an act of violence or the salve to someone's loneliness or the vessel of a storm #or someone who wants terribly to lead and protect but is so unsure of himself because of how much he understands the gravity of that role #which isn't to say i think he doesn't want to be a leader and doesn't want to be an act of violence or a salve or a liberated ex-experiment #all of these things and the choices he's made for and because of and despite these things are inextricable from who he is #but every so often #it's nice just to be flesh and electricity

[vulpinesaint]

i don't talk about alucard castlevania very often because the last season of castlevania was so bad to me that i just don't engage with the show anymore like that but make no mistake. i have many thoughts and opinions on that man.

#first of which is they should have treated him better 😭 #like not out of a 'oh he's my favorite character he deserves everything' standpoint #he is and he does. but also What Was The Point Of All That 😭 like jesus christ!!!!! #castlevania writer voice what if we made him sit alone in his empty desecrated childhood home where he just killed his father #and then gave him some company. and then had that company gain his trust and sleep with him and then try to kill him During sex #and then he went insane! and killed a lot of people! #and then we fixed him by giving him a girlfriend :D #shut UP BRO SHUT UP #if you're gonna do all that. at least let him continue to be gay #not in a 'i don't believe he's bisexual' way but going 'yeah he has gay sex!' and then making the gay sex encounter end in gruesome murder #doesn't uh. doesn't really spell gay rights. can he have sex with a man in a way that ends with him not horribly traumatized #i don't like his relationship dynamic with that woman in the last season either but that's for different reasons. #i feel like he got steamrollered by her y'know :/ malewifed etc. etc. :/ #she was a fine character i just didn't like the two of them together #or how it was framed as like. y'know. alucard just needed to get bossed around. that'll give him purpose again. #hey what if. if he was gonna kiss someone about it. he did that with the people that he bonded with and trusts and knows. #just a thought. ANYWAY #valentine notes

[retphienix]

This thought actually brings up a potentially fun question.

Who's your favorite warframe that you don't actually "love" playing?

(You are allowed to "like" playing them, but we're talking one of those "10/10 frame but I don't play them much because..." frames)

#warframe #RetPlays #As stated I think mine has to be Grendel #I love them like a son but I have extremely little interest in playing them for reasons mentioned in previous post #To be honest there are a few though- like how one of my first fave frames was Hydroid and he's been dumpstered by DE #Oh and Vauban! Because I want to have fun as the CC guy but if you want to play him today it's a lot less fun than it should be in my opin #But I didn't want to just be 'Who do you want buffed!!!' and instead think Grendel is a nice benchmark as he's very good- and I love HIM- #Just not PLAYING him

[sysig]

If your eye causes you to [fear], pluck it out (P1 | P2 | P3 | B) (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #NEJ #Captain Sterling #Blood #Body horror #(I'll put the spoilers further down in the tags so if you'd rather wait to read all the way through first just ignore these for now) #Hey it's not spooky season yet! What the heck! #NEJ got me bad I super didn't expect it but thinking about his scopophobia exploded my brain #I don't know why! It's not like I forgot! Details just fuzzy enough to feel like novelty again I guess lol ♪ I'll take it #It was a fun concept to play in :D I guess I've never really thought about it but I do actually enjoy eye horror? :0 #I have for a while when I look back at it I just never put the name to it haha #Poor Sterling haha he's only had a few sets to himself and then I do this to time - well he seems fine! Lol #Well maybe not Completely fine there's something weird about him hmm ♪ #[Spoilers starting] I know Sterling hasn't had a lot of screentime so far but I can tell you this isn't how he'd normally talk #He /is/ still a human Captain so take from that what you will - he has some of his own mannerisms - at least enough to be recognizable #But there's something Not Quite Right about him besides the obvious lol #No he hasn't been possessed but he is Something of a puppet at the moment :3 How we appear to others through their own lense and all that #This is NEJ's interpretation of Sterling through his VUX frame hehe - probably not difficult to guess but NEJ isn't having a fun time of it #How might his fears manifest inside his mind? /And/ the opportunity for horror and blood? How could I resist? #[/Spoilers] #I really am quite pleased with how it turned out :D I initially intended for it to be a Scratch comic but then it kept turning out pretty! #I especially like the panel of Sterling leaning towards him and NEJ leaning away with his head tendrils up ah <3 #His expression is intentionally hidden but you can still tell what he's feeling! Large and fearful! ♥ #I also rather like Sterling's first panel of his eyes missing I think the toning came out particularly nice there :) #The guilt of putting my lads through Things is always outweighed by how fun it is to do so haha

[keeps-ache]

my nose is runny.. it's the end of the woooooorlldd

#just me hi #oh the unbearable agony!!! [blows my nose very dramatically] #oh never mind lol #//anyway i'm drawing #i say 'drawing' and maybe i Meant drawing like three hours ago but i'm actually animating this darn thing now so thoughts and prayers guys #/also been trying to write #which has been going eeeehhhh [so-so gesture] #it's going. just not very well. or very fast lol :) #i need quality or quantity and currently i'm getting neither! it's a fantastic problem that i'm remedying by animating #i didn't even Mean to start animating but i was on the first frame and thought 'oh! this would look nice if it moved' and that was a #Terrible thought o' mine. thanks a lot. Me #/OH and also my brother has taken up writing!! which is really cool!! i convinced him he'd have a lot of fun doing it :3 #yes that was probably mostly a lie. he Is enjoying himself though (i think hfvbshf)! #and we decided to both write something based off of a prompt :> #he's already started and we have until Oct. to finish #i. opened a new document the other day and have ignored it since then :) #//what is going ooon with the tags today man #c'mon tumblr what did you do today. why is my tag jiggling like this #and why do you keep trying to tell me i can colour my tag words ? don't lie to me like that #jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle #ohh no it didn't like that #not doing that again fhvshd #//okay now i'm going to prance off #imagine the most graceful and..... what was the word........ i'll say fanciful- imagine the most graceful and fanciful prancing you've ever #contrived of! now imagine the opposite #ciao for now :3

[solvicrafts]

I just love Jarlaxle so much.

#legend of drizzt #jarlaxle baenre #not gonna say what inspired this because spoilers but I just can't stop thinking about certain things #I wish Jarlaxle was real so I could tell him to his face #because like... he obviously knows he's funny and charming and desirable and all that #but how often do people tell him how truly inspiring he is? #he is inspired for example by Drizzt #and Drizzt is inspired by him and I don't know if Jarlaxle knows? #but Drizzt aside how often do *other people* tell him this? #who (aside from Kimmuriel) recognizes and compliments Jarlaxle not on his charm or his appearance but on the very essence of who he is? #I just... I have so many feelings about these books and these characters #but I wanted to give a special shoutout to Jarlaxle in particular because he fucking deserves it and more #there's a somewhat hidden layer of tragedy to him in that he thinks the absolute world of other people around him #but I don't think he fully recognizes those own traits within himself #he's STARTING to but he frames it as 'look at what you turned me into DRIZZT' #he attributes a lot of his best qualities to other people #but he had those traits all along... he just didn't always have the power or support to act on them

[enok1]

Being in that weird middleground of homeschooled and unschooled is very... Strange..!

#Like. I DID go to school! Until I was 9! And then I didn't anymore. #I don't know math but I am literate. Science eludes me and I don't understand basic functions. But I. Am literate! #Going back to learn things as an adult is so frustrating and embarrassing because these topics are only every framed for children #Understandably! I don't have a problem with that itself. However it makes it more obvious how far behind you are on everything #And it's exhausting. The progress is slow. I can't spend a school day's worth of time studying because I have responsibilities. #My mother made it clear that it is my job alone to learn these things. When my brother expressed his rage over it she said the same to him. #'If you're so upset by it why haven't you learned it yourself?' Something along those lines. It hurts a lot #Where do you start. I have over 10 years to catch up on. I know he was confused and overwhelmed as well. #Whether or not it is our responsibility to learn now.. It doesn't change that she should have taught us then. #But I can't talk about it. Or I will get yelled at or guilt tripped... 🙏

[tblsomedoodles]

An AI Washington au? 

It’s still friday over here! It still counts!

technically this was my attempt at trying warm up sketches. it didn’t work.

anyways, i posted some about my AI Wash AU  but this is a scene later on then that taking place in chorus. Having just revealed he’s an AI and the only one not freaking out about it is Caboose. an hour later, they’re still bickering amongst themselves while Wash and Caboose have given up on any sort of conversation with them and have just started play Go Fish.

That is all.

#rvb #red vs blue #rvb washington #rvb caboose #ai wash au #I actually wrote this part #but i probably not going to post it yet #since i'm not sure if it will be a full fic or just a bunch of random oneshots #i tried to draw wash's robot body too #but that didn't work out #he looked a lot creepier then i wanted #maybe i shouldn't have used warframes as referances #nah robowash would look badass with an excaliber umbra frame #or volt #please ignore my ranting in the tags