#he’s 21 now lol I refuse to accept that I’ll be older than him in March 🙅‍♀️

[digitalnomadhub]

First Time/s! Haha (read maturely)

I’m contemplating if I will write about it here (for passersby to read) or in a private blog unknown to anyone. Obviously, I have decided to share it here. Haha Why? nainspire lang ako ishare cause of Recreate and para iverbalize ko to for the first time. Malay natin, mawala na sa isip ko. Haha

So I’ll begin. I’m 25 at that time, asexual and really innocent. I’ve had steamy moments with my then boyfriend (aged 18) when I was 21 but I’ve been traumatized when he forced me to do things and I got bruises pa. But then, I never feel physically driven to him. And we didn’t do it cos I threatened him that we’ll break up if he continue to be overboard. But I guess, I wasn’t also exposed and I don’t know what it really is. My perception about it is exclusively a physical thing. No emotions, no affection, no love.

After him, I had a relationship with a 31 year-old guy when I was 25. I told him things about me and I have no experience (which on the second thought, I shouldn’t said). Though he told me he’s fine with it, he’s doing little things for me to be in that trap. One time, we’re stuck in a traffic and he told me to rest in a motel. He promised we’re just gonna rest (another red flag here, he’s like a predator now). Of course, I refused and I never said yes, but since I’m not familiar in Manila, I wasn’t aware that he’s still directing us to that motel. After finally realizing na sya yung nasunod, I trusted him na lang cos I’ll use the same method with my ex. Breaking up if he do anything stupid. So when we got there, as what you expected, he did things his way and for the first time in my life, I felt ‘something’. He switched on something and I was being dominant which he allowed. He’s giving me a safe space to be vulnerable and to long for him more and more. He asked things which I refused. But then, he doesn’t listen because he noticed that my body is against my words. And when things are escalating, I snapped out that this is wrong and I’m not sure if he’s the husband I want to be with forever. We are less than a month dating. Haha The deed was not done but you know, the foreplay and stuff, it was all first time. I realized I’m not asexual. I realized I am capable of feeling lust. I realized I can be connected with someone through that. It was not a physical thing, it was a bond. It was fun. It was exciting. It was full of trust and acceptance. But then, we broke up kasi I also realized na I wasn’t fully in love and I felt danger that he is a manipulator and controlling person. Since he’s 31, he makes me feel na I’m his last resort, and he told me advanced things about family, and being a wife and mother which are also new and scary thing to me. I wasn’t prepared and he keep on insisting things which really got into my nerves.

After a few months, I dated another guy again which is the same age as mine. Oha. I tried all ages na. Hahaha younger, older and same. lol Anyway, so he’s a friend and co-worker but he told me, he has a high body count. Scary na agad. haha But I asked him if wala sya HIV and he completely changed na. Wala naman and he actually did change. Walang traces sa itsura at behaviors na ganun sya. And you know what? He’s the first guy I loved so much beyond all reasons. All of my boundaries and sense of thinking became dysfunctional because I gave all my love to him. I dunno why I loved him that much, far more than my exes, far more than the barriers I set for myself, far more than my intellectual capacity to control. He’s the first man I sleep with, like literal sleep lang ha. We hugged during the night. I slept comfortably in his arms. He’s the first man I pictured myself having a family with. Now that I’m thinking it through, I guess I loved him that much because we get to share all of our brokenness to each other. But I guess it’s unhealthy if laging ganun. 

Anyway, he invited me to an out of town trip which I accepted. I thought we’re gonna stay in his house since the trip is madaling araw but to my surprise, he booked a hotel without me knowing (red flag again). Para daw mas malapit. But it’s like he’s ambushing me. I asked why here? He just said “Hindi ka nagtanong” whaat?! Hinayaan ko na lang. And when we’re there. Ayun na. He asked me to shower and guilt-tripping me into doing it. I rejected cos ’m scared kasi di ako emotionally prepared. But then, nawala na sya sa mood. So since I loved him sooo much. Nakonsensya ako and said Yes na lang. “Ano, game na?” He  said. I realized he thinks of it cheaply, while I am thinking of it as very precious. I am contemplating na pag binigay ko, sigurado na ba ako na sya na? Kasi kahit hindi sa kanya issue if virgin or not, I really care about my virginity to my future husband. It’s my gift. It’s a thing I am proud of, not being pure but at least being clean. I don’t degrade ladies who are not virgins but for me, it’s a highly thing. But I’m being pushed by situations and people who likes me to think that it’s a normal adult thing. I know it. I’m not naive. But what’s important for me may not important to some because we are born and raised differently. And I was hoping that a lover would respect that. Daming hanash. Back to the story. haha

I’m thinking of that but being a marupok to this person. I give in. He’s the first man who saw me naked. He’s the first man I saw naked. He’s the first man I do bj. So ayun, we’re about to do penetration but for some reason, hindi natuloy. Haha Naghahabol kami ng oras kasi maaga kami kinabukasan at walang rhythm. Walang romance. Huhu Walang foreplay and diretso na dun which is not a good experience kasi better pa yung una na kahit patikim lang, mas okay. I feel that he’s into the act, not to me, not to our moment together. It was frustrating. And I dunno, if I count myself as a virgin due to the technical reason of not having experienced penetration. Almost but not quite. So I still consider these things as first times no. But we broke up after kasi hindi na sya consistent and he doesn’t chat me everyday. Nawawala na sya. Iwww. Alam na.

Reading it, I think I am brave to share this. But also, nakaka-sad cause these guys I invest my feelings into, are after me in an ugly way. I feel the love that they gave. I feel the effort and time they spent. But we want two different things and that makes me push the break up button. I’m not sure if I’m thankful to experience stuff like this as part of my adulthood because the reason and execution are ugly and toxic. But one thing is for sure, my love and trust makes it still beautiful. 

I am disappointed in myself for some time. For being a people pleaser, for being a giver, for having poor boundaries. But then, I am proud of myself because of leaving and not waiting, because of sensing the danger before it goes out of hand. I am thankful for the good friends who contradicts my reasoning and save me, especially God whom I am deeply rooted to begin with. He makes me feel that something’s off and not right. 

Of course, I’ve been traumatized by it. Scared in  their presence, and having anxiety attacks. But I don’t know. Mas malakas na yung gratitude at positive thoughts sa puso ko kesa sa pain and trauma. Also, I’m talking with someone who see me in a non-judgemental way. Sana mageffort na sya  for some time. hahaha I like him but I won’t chase him. I am confident in myself. Besides, kahit na ganun na I've gave my first kiss, first touch, first boyfriend, first things in dating, I still have a lot of first things to give to my future husband. Hindi lang the love-making itself. ^_^

Sobrang haba na nito. Kung nakarating ka here, I appreciate a reply/comment. :) Thank youuu!

#lovelife

[ssuckitlosers]

Happy Birthday to Gilbert Beilschmidt 🎉

#have I queued this for exactly 12am? yes #I’m pretty sure this is the only character I’ve ever wished happy birthday to lol #he’s 21 now lol I refuse to accept that I’ll be older than him in March 🙅‍♀️ #I feel like I haven’t expressed enough how much I love this man #my queue is full of Gilbert for the day #hws prussia #hetalia

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Πᾰ́σχω (νοσταλγία deleted scene)

νοσταλγία Masterlist

Πᾰ́σχω (páskhō): to feel an emotion or impulse; (in negative sense) to suffer (Ancient Greek)

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: So, another deleted scene/chapter. This takes place between chapter 21 and chapter 22 (After Ivar’s PoV chapter)

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: My horrible writing, but aside from that nothing other than the usuals lol

A/N: I’m sorry I’ve been posting so many things for this story and others lol. I’ll probably slow down closer to the holidays, give you guys a break from me.

Thank you, hope you give this a chance and hope you like it. Love ya

Taglist: @youbloodymadgenius​ @heavenly1927​ @toe-vind-ek-jou​​ @xbellaxcarolinax​ @pieces-by-me​ @angelofthorr​ @samsationalwilson​  @peachyboneless​ @1950schick​​ @punkrocknpearls​​

One of the first mornings you wake a wife to someone, you find yourself surprised to find Ivar continues to sleep when you awaken. Unusual would be an understatement, since you usually wake up every morning because of the ruckus the thralls make when walking in at the request of the King, or he wakes you by promptly lifting the furs off you when he gets out of bed.

For a few moments -that you’ll deny to your very grave ever happened- you lay in the soft light of the morning and let your eyes hungrily take in his features when he lies relaxed in sleep; you let yourself forget what brought you here and what awaits you in the world past the two of you and imagine a life of this, of quiet mornings and safety and peace, a life where it wouldn’t feel like a betrayal to who you are to lean closer and chase the warmth of his skin or the thrill of his lips on yours.

But that isn’t the life you have, and even if your heart is soft and foolish, it is also proud and stubborn. So, you slip from under the furs and walk away silently to get dressed.

You are lifting your hair up in a simply updo when Ivar’s voice calls out to you.

“Your dress,” He points out, “It’s still unlaced.”

You bite back a smile and feeling a strange thrill run through you at the subtle change in his voice when he first wakes up. Choosing not to dwell on it, you walk to the bed where he still lays, sitting down on the edge of his side of the bed and turning your back to him, a silent prompt for him to lace it for you.

He huffs in what in another life, a life of less pain and less harshness, could have been a laugh; and starts working the laces at your back.

But there’s no hiding the trembling in his hands, and you straighten as cold fear runs down your spine. You turn around with the foreboding of someone used to noticing people’s pain, you meet his eyes with the calculating gaze of a healer.

“Your eyes are…” You whisper before you can trap the words behind your lips. Blue.

A shield wall forming before your very eyes would be a more subtle change than the one Ivar has at the mention of it. His expression hardens, his eyes grow cold and his voice is that of the King of Kattegat instead of that of the man you married when he orders,

“Get out. You have a day to get on with.”

You frown, and your tongue begs to ask questions stubbornness does not let past your lips.

You’re carefully pulling your hair into a half-updo when Ivar makes the first attempt to get out of bed. He succeeds, but he doesn’t succeed in masking the very obvious pain he is in, nor in making you feel any less worried.

You’re fastening a cloak around your shoulders when he finishes putting those iron contraptions around his legs, with more difficulty than usual. You’re once again told, by either the instinct that made you a good healer in the Roads, or something else, that he isn’t well, that he’s in pain, that…that something is wrong.

“Are y-…”

Whatever it is you were to ask dies in your throat with a choked gasp as you watch him fall to the ground. The sound of a bone snapping out of place is something you are very familiar with, but the scream of pain it draws out of Ivar is not something a thousand years could make you be used to.

You realize you’ve stepped closer when your husband brandishes a knife your way.

It unsettles you less than it should, it surprises you even less. You have the errant thought of whether Kattegat and her King have succeeded in making you lose your mind.

“Get. Out,” He bites out, but you can still hear the pain in his voice. You can still tell that knee is not properly set, and you know how to fix it. If he’d just let you… “Get out!”

Your words die in your throat, but your fear of him died long ago, so you don’t say anything, but you also don’t leave.

He moves with gritted teeth and strain written all over him to sit on one of the lower chairs. When his eyes lift to meet yours again, you see not only the expected pain and fury written in them, but also…shame.

And Ivar’s eyes fall from yours, and a cold hand grips at your heart but nothing of who you are can make this better. If you are as hardship made you, stubborn and arrogant and sharp-tongued, he’ll only fight back at you until there’s nothing left of either of you. If you are as nature made you, soft and gentle and loving, he’ll only think you pity him, mock him.

But he doesn’t give you a choice. Sharp orders he barks at nothing summon two thralls and a stoic Whitehair that stands tall in your doorway.

The older warrior looks at you with the impassiveness of a man following orders, but you turn your eyes to your husband.

“I don’t want you here.” He spits out, poison and vitriol.

You stomp your way out of the room.

____

You pointedly avoid Whitehair’s expectant stare as you pace on the other end of your bedroom door.

“Stubborn, insufferable, hot-headed…”

“It will take a while to list it all, my Queen.” The man dryly points out, startling a laugh out of you, but you shake off the brief levity it brings just as quickly.

“I should be in there.” You point out. The older warrior sighs, and leans back against a wall, arms crossed.

“But you aren’t.”

You bite down words about how perceptive he has proven to be, and instead shrug.

“I was kicked out of my own room,” You turn your eyes to the door, and bite out, “I’m a good healer, one of the best.”

“You are his wife.”

“All the more reason I should be allowed to help him.”

“He doesn’t want you to think him weak.”

“I d-…”

“I know, little one,” He interrupts, nodding his head. You are stunned into silence at the term of endearment no one except your mother has used on you. He looks at you with a reluctant softness in his one good eye, strangely paternal when he shrugs, “But he doesn’t. He is young, he’s yet to learn many things.”

Another scream you never wish to hear again pierces the dull silence between you and the man assigned to guard you, and you flinch away with a curse from the source of the pained scream that quickly morphs into an enraged yell.

Turning your back to the door, you start making your way quickly and confidently to the apothecary.

Whitehair’s voice is a quiet grumble when, as he trails behind you, he states, “You are also Queen of Kattegat. Don’t forget that.”

Your steps falter as you realize the meaning behind his quiet words, but still you say nothing and continue walking.

____

Valdís raises her gaze from the dried herbs she’s working on when you enter, a smile ready on her lips that falters when she sees you.

The shieldmaiden stands without a moment of hesitation, crossing the room to get to you.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Her hand finds your shoulder. “You are shaking.”

Gritting your teeth, you mumble you are well, and walk past her, towards the back of the apothecary. You feel Valdís walking behind you, tense and ready to face whatever it is that has upset you, ever the shieldmaiden.

You walk up to the elder and raise your chin.

“I wish to speak with you.”

“Of course, my Qu-…”

“Not as Queen of Kattegat,” You interrupt, but your steel resolve falters when you pick your next words. Running your tongue over dry lips, you amend, “As…as Ivar’s wife.”

The woman of white hair nods once, and motions for you to take a seat. At your hesitation, she chuckles, but says nothing as she does sit down on one of the chairs.

“Speak, my Qu-…my dear.”

“I know what he has told me, not what a healer could tell me.”

“Ah,” She murmurs, “Broken bone?”

“Displaced.” You correct.

And so the elder leans back on her seat, weathered hands folded over her stomach, and tells you what she knows. You cling to the words, reminiscent of those lessons the healers of the roads would give the wide-eyed girl you once were, and learn as much as you can of Ivar’s condition, what it means, how to treat it, what causes it, what worsens it.

She mutters she doesn’t know anything more of it, and so you nod, and ask,

“And who is the healer that-…”

“No one, I’m afraid. Usually a thrall will take care of the most pressing matter, and the King will prefer to handle it alone.”

“That’s…”

“Stupid?” Valdís offers from behind you. You offer a shrug, but yes.

“Before he became King, I was close to the healer that was to help him. Since he returned from England, he refuses to…be helped.”

“Why?”

“He’s-…”

“Paranoid.” Valdís states when the elder hesitates, and earns herself a wooden bowl thrown at her head by the older woman. The shieldmaiden laughs, but mumbles that it’s true.

“Reluctant,” The elder amends pointedly, “to be seen like this.”

“Would you be willing to help him now?” The woman hesitates, and you press, “If I asked?”

“If my Queen demands I do, of course.” Is what she settles for saying, and you accept the meaning behind her words with a sigh.

Valdís sees your resolve shining in your eyes, for the blonde rolls her eyes and mutters a curse.

“Sure, refuse to do as he says,” She grumbles, walking away, “That’ll work out.”

____

Shortly after, you walk to your room’s door with your head held high, your steps certain and your demeanor that of the woman your mother hated seeing in you.

You tilt your head to the side, keeping your eyes on the Thebesian, “I don’t think you understand, Narses. I said we will sail for Laconia.”

“The Spartans w-…”

“Your Anassa gave you an order,” You interrupt, not saying anything else and keeping your eyes on the warm ones of the man that claims to love you but wants to keep you obedient and quiet. When Narses keeps stubborn eyes on you, you insist with raised eyebrows, “It is best you obey me.”

He rolls his shoulders and grits his teeth, but eventually bows his head and leaves the tent. You don’t realize you keep holding on to the tension in your frame until your mother laughs.

“By Freyja and all the Gods, little one,” Sieghild runs a hand over her face, another short laugh leaving her lips, “You can blame your impulsiveness, your stubbornness, many of your faults on me. But that, that you cannot.”

Galla chuckles from her place at your side, still not lifting her dark eyes from the map before her.

“Annoying, is it not?” She spares you a glance from the corner of your eye, “Born with a crown on her head, this one.”

“What is it you can inform me of?” You ask the man set firmly by the door. He hesitates, but tells you that the King is resting for now, that he hasn’t heard anything in a while.

You move to enter the room, and the man moves to stop you.

A stray memory makes its way into your head when you hesitate by the door, meeting the eyes of the warrior that was given instructions by your husband not to let you in, and you hear the words as if they were spoken by your ear.

“Don’t lie to me, Priestess. You were made to rule, to command. Don’t pretend otherwise with me.”

And so you keep your spine straight and your eyes cold, “Move.”

“I-…”

“You will move.” You insist, tilting your head back to look at the man but not faltering in your stance.

In a result that surprises you, and stuns you for longer than it should, he does.

Thankfully Ivar isn’t here to see you begrudgingly accept he was right about something.

“Did he pass out, or did you give him something?” You ask quietly as you walk in, barely sparing a glance at the man that kneels by the fire.

The thrall stumbles into standing, and the first thing you do is eye his hands. He doesn’t look like someone trained in healing, much less trained in settling bones back into place.

“I-I…we didn’t give the King anything.”

The confirmation that the pain was enough to leave him unconscious makes your stomach tighten to a knot, and irrational and misdirected anger rise in you.

“Get out.”

You close your eyes and take a breath, trying to clear your head. There was a reason why you never treated those you…those close to you. A soft heart is a good quality in a woman, but not in a healer.

You need a steel spine and steady hands, you need unblurred eyes and certain voice. You need strength, and coldness, and distance.

You can muster the first of those, but when it comes to the insufferable man that the Gods fated to be your husband, you fear you can’t say the same about the other two.

“M-My Qu-…”

You lift an eyebrow, returning your eyes to his.

“I don’t like repeating myself. You are dismissed. If I call for you, you will go to the healers. Valdís knows who to send if needed.”

He bows his head, and leaves the room quickly enough, leaving you with the feeling he was ultimately relieved he doesn’t have to be here anymore.

You watch him leave, and when the door closes behind him, and you are left alone with Ivar, you feel something within you quiver and give away fragility.

It is easy, finding the routine of getting to work, finding your center in picking the right herbs and remembering old instructions.

Yet you find your gaze finding the figure of your husband on the ample bed, eyes squeezed shut at the pian that you see making his body tighten to a coil every few moments, brow shining with the sweat of exertion and teeth gritted to keep most of the sounds of pain at bay.

Refusing to let go of control even when unconscious, you realize. And it doesn’t surprise you.

You’ve come to know a lot about him, in these past months. From Aneridge, to those days on route to Kattegat, to the time you’ve spent as his prisoner and as his wife in this kingdom of cold. Not a thousand years at his side, you realize, not all the trust in the world and all the spilled secrets, would give you an inkling as to what life has been like for him.

His manic conviction that the Gods were to reward him for enduring pain and grief and sorrow for years on end; his certainty you were, if nothing else, a gift for having endured a lifetime of pain; it is understandable, you realize.

Something you will never forget or forgive, you are certain, but something you can understand.

You were barely ten when you first worked on willow extract. The motions for making it are by now engrained in your mind, and you could close your eyes and follow the directions countless teachers gave you.

Still, because you cannot help the stubborn softness that makes you who you are, your foolish heart that betrays your every ambition, your hands that shake as you prepare the tincture.

“Remember Aneridge?” You muse, even though you know you’re talking to yourself, “I gave you willow bark to help with the pain. This is…a stronger version of it. Bitter and yet sour. Awful, really.”

You open your mouth and you are ready to continue talking, even if to fill the silence and focus on something that isn’t the shaking of your hands, but you find Ivar’s eyes -like you’ve never seen them, clouded in pain and confusion, lost- set on you.

He murmurs your name, voice so quiet you almost read it on his lips instead of hearing it.

“You’re here.” He says, soft, with a strange mix of confusion and wonder. You are struck silent for so long, lost in the shades of blue of his eyes, on him.

And you think numbly to yourself that it is he they should whisper is capable of magic, for you feel the words being pulled from your lips as if under a spell.

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

The words settle in your chest with the realization of how true they prove to be.

You swallow down that shame, and take a breath, lowering your gaze to your hands.

When you raise your eyes again, Ivar’s eyes are closed again, and even if there’s a furrow of his brows, the tension that speaks of pain written all over him, and his breathing is still the irregular pattern of trying to not let the pain win, it seems he is once again asleep.

When he wakes up again, you’re carefully examining the chess pieces he keeps on a nearby table, and become aware he’s woken up when he grunts how you shouldn’t be here.

“You should know better than to tell me what to do by now.”

“I didn’t want you to…to see,” That wasn’t what you expected. You expected anger, vitriol, not…resignation. Before you can ask what he means, he turns his head and once again faces the ceiling. A hoarse and bitter laugh that rattles inside your head leaves his lips, and he mumbles, “Thought I could make you forget.”

Realization dawns on you, and you sigh, “You don’t need to make me forget, you need to let me…”

“Help me? Spare me the pity, wife.” Ivar bites out, gritting his teeth and breathing sharply at what you assume to be a pang of pain that courses through him when he tries moving.

You grit your own teeth -though for a very different reason- and fail at biting back an annoyed sigh.

“You insist on this being Fate, why is it not Fate that I know how to help? Why is it not work of the Gods that you married a healer?”

The answer leaves his lips with ease, like the answer is obvious and it should be so for you too,

“Because I don’t want you as my healer, I want you as my wife.”

A deep breath, and you find your resolve, your certainty.

“I am your wife,” You remind him, unyielding, “And as the woman you decided to marry, I’m telling you I’m not letting you be in pain if I can do anything to help it. Now, this is a strong extract that helps with pain,” You lift a tisane of willow between you, and offer it, “You will drink this, you will rest until the pain dulls, and you will never again hide something like this from me.”

His eyes remain on yours, defiant and cold and angry and so many more things. You see in his eyes the growing anger at your unwillingness to bend; the desire to hurt back if only because he feels exposed and vulnerable; the relentless searching of any hint of a lie, of pity, of mocking.

You only raise your eyebrows, and move the hand holding the tincture closer.

He grunts out a curse you’ve never heard before and grabs the willow extract, dawning the bitter liquid in a quick gulp. Admiting he trusts you, admiting he believes you, are words that may never leave his lips.

You don’t need them, you realize.

____

Sometime later, you hear Ivar move, and out of the corner of your eye you notice he has sat up on the bed, his back on the bedrest, eyes -much clearer than before- set on you.

“I told you, I don’t want you here.”

“You told me to leave. I left,” You point out, turning around with your head tilted to the side, “You didn’t say anything about coming back.”

Instead of replying, he considers you in silence, before asking,

“Why do you…?”

His words die in a pained grunt, and seeing him in pain when you’ve been taught your whole life how to help people in pain makes your heart hurt deep within your chest.

Your hand reaches out to touch him, to try soothing him, before you realize what you are doing. But you stop yourself, bringing your hands back together in front of you, fingers twisting anxiously.

Taking a breath, you start replying, “What kind of wife w-…”

“The kind of wife that didn’t want to marry me in the first place.” He interrupts.

“Still, I care about you,” You insist, and when his eyes rise to meet yours with a surprise you weren’t expecting, you hurry to continue, “And, with all due respect to your people-…”

“Our people.” He corrects absentmindedly, attention once again focused on moving his legs to a more comfortable position.

“Our people,” You accept, and continue, raising your chin, “I’m the best healer in Kattegat.”

He turns to you with a mocking shine in his eyes, but it is dimmer than usual, “Arrogant.”

“Honest,” You supply instead, grabbing a pitcher of water and settling it to boil over one of the fires. As you wait for the water for the infusion, you turn on your side and eye the box you brought with you. After a moment of consideration, even if you know the answer, you start, “A salve would work best, but I’ll assume you’ll say-…”

“No.”

“Of course,” You nod to yourself. He hasn’t even let you see him without a shirt on, even after being married, so you knew what the answer would be to letting you see -and treat- his legs. “Infusions for the pain it is, then.”

“They won’t work.”

“The willow has worked, hasn’t it?” You point out, turning around. At his silence, you continue, “Then I’ll continue to try. I’m nothing if not stubborn.”

The Viking rolls his eyes, “You don’t have to tell me that.”

You acquiesce with a shrug, “You knew that when you married me.”

“Are you going to use that we’re married against me for much longer?”

“Till death do us part, Viking.” You mock, and that does earn you a chuckle and a wry smile, leaving you lighter and warmer.

____

You manage to convince him to take the hot lavender, primrose, and chickweed infusion. You do not, however, convince him to let you set that knee back into place the correct way, and not the sloppy work a thrall -who was most likely fearing for his life- managed.

“That is not properly set.” You argue through gritted teeth.

“Oh, no,” Ivar deadpans, “How will I ever walk again.”

You roll your eyes, but desist, and just put a hand on his shoulder to push him back to the bed.

Ivar narrows his eyes, “So gentle,” He mocks, “Is this the kind of healer you were in the Mediterranean?”

“No, because my patients were usually much less aggravating,” You point out, not missing a beat. Even if your eyes betray otherwise, you continue, “My gentleness is earned.”

“Oh, I’m sure many men have earned it. What was it in exchange for last, hm? An army?

Your nose curls in anger, and you take a deep breath, trying to mask how much the words hurt.

He doesn’t wait for you to say anything, masking his pain in a sigh that trembles past his lips and closing his eyes tightly.

“Probably kept the poor fool happy and blind until you were done with him, huh? You were everything he ever wanted, you promised your love and your trust until he bent over backwards for you; only to stab him in the back in the end.”

“I didn’t betray Narses.” You bite out, but the fight is instinctual, no heat or anger behind your words. All that’s left is hurt and the stinging shame of being reminded of your mistakes.

He doesn’t lose the cruel edge, the sick and punishing tone in his voice that seems to prove he delights himself in hurting you, “You did. You promised to marry him, promised to love him, yet here you are, married to another man. Promised all the same to the next man that vowed to fight the battles you cannot.”

There’s a part of you, a part of you that maybe is too alike him, that wants to fight cruelty with cruelty. Instead, you take a deep breath.

“I didn’t promise you that I would marry you in exchange for Stithulf’s head. I didn’t promise to love you, Ivar.” You remind him lowly, and surprisingly enough it grants you victory in this strange duel he engages you in.

His façade crumbles, his mask slips, and uncertainty and what could be a different kind of pain than the one he has been bearing for half a day now shine in his pale eyes.

“You didn’t have to. I guess I’m more of a fool than that Greek, hm?”

And just like that your fight leaves you as well, and you sigh, before finding a seat in one of the lounges near the bed. You don’t look at him as you speak, instead looking at your hands on your lap.

“I haven’t lied to you. And I won’t.”

“I could give you much more than he ever could.” He reminds you, but you shake your head.

“But I care for you more than I ever could have cared for him.” You reply easily, because the promise of freedom -a promise you know he won’t break, because…what was it? He might break a bone, but he would never break a promise-, of freedom to choose, lying at the end of the tunnel has made you more certain, more calm, it has soothed you, given you the chance to be true and admit things not a hundred years of torture could have made you admit before.

But, you gather, this certainty that once the Christian lies dead and your people are avenged you will be able to make the choice to leave or remain, the choice between hope and nostalgia; what this certainty gives to you -stability, certainty, peace- it has all taken away from Ivar.

So, you show your cards, you offer truths, you answer the questions his pride doesn’t let him ask.

You clean your hands on a nearby cloth and walk calmly to one of the lavender planters you keep in the room, carefully starting to pluck the drying or dying from the rest.

A frustrated sigh coming from the bed stops you, and without turning back but stills topping in your task, you call out,

“I’m not leaving, so don’t even think of ordering me to.”

“I know,” He grunts, irritated, “But I won’t have you making noise all over the room and distracting me. Get over here, and stay still.”

Your foolish lips curve into a flustered smile, because that’s the closest you’ll get, you think, to ever hear him say he wants you with him so he can rest.

You school your features before you turn around though, and even if you’ve already toed off the sandals and are getting on your side of the bed, you still taunt, “You could just ask me to lay with you, you know.”

Instead of replying, he closes his eyes and settles on the pillow. Fully aware he probably feels your eyes on him but frankly not caring, you sit, almost on your side with your legs drawn up close, and study him and the small twitches of pain and tension he still gives away every few seconds.

You dare think the pain has dulled, compared to earlier at least, judging by the sweat that pooled on his brow and the moans and whimpers of pain he couldn’t keep from leaving his lips even through gritted teeth.

“Tell me about your Gods.” He asks suddenly, without opening his eyes. You startle, betraying a small smile.

“They are just tales to you, aren’t they?”

“Mhm, but it is the same to you about my Gods.” He argues, eyes still closed and you find yourself stupidly missing the strange warmth mixed with electricity that runs through you when his eyes meet your own.

“No, I…I believe,” You debate with yourself for a moment about telling him that the same night prayers to Persephone for answers on why Fate had brought you to his side left your lips, so did prayers to Freyja. Instead, you whisper, “Your Seer told Sieghild about me, you know.”

This gets him to open his eyes, and before he can ask the questions you see shining in them, you continue,

“She came to Kattegat before she departed East with Rorik. She was told by the Seer that she was to return here a mother, and so she always held the dream of bringing me to Scandinavia with her. When we came here with the Saxons she …said it was Fate, that it was maybe too late, but Fate regardless,” You smile to yourself, absentmindedly trying to figure out the ins and outs of Ivar’s braids as you recall with a chuckle, “‘When the throne is empty, when the witch reigns, when the temple burns; the Gods will summon her here,’ she used to repeat that a lot.”

“That’s…the years Ragnar was gone. When my mother was ruling over Kattegat.” He states, not even a question.

You nod your head, feeling a strange knot of emotion in your throat that keeps you from speaking for the couple of times you try. After a deep breath, you insist,

“You’re supposed to be sleeping, not talking, by the way.”

“The pain is…duller,” Ivar says, even if he closes his eyes again, “It’s manageable, I can stay awake.”

“What do you want to stay awake for?” You ask around a chuckle, hopeless and so foolish.

He only shrugs, even if the movement is accompanied by a frown and a muted sound of pain that stays locked past tightly-pressed lips.

“Tell me about your Gods.”

You sigh, “One of my own choosing?”

“Yes,” He replies without hesitation, adding a moment later, “Those tell me the most about you, you know.”

Your lips curve into a smile, uneven and scared and truer than any other before, and you feel it is only so because Ivar’s eyes remain closed.

____

For what is left of the day, you remain at Ivar’s side. And thankfully he is able to spend most of that time in manageable pain -though, if you are honest with yourself, you try not to imagine what ‘manageable’ is to him, having lived with this his whole life. What he calls a good day would make any other fall to their knees in agony, most likely-, and some of that, actually resting.

You make yourself useful, in the time you spend at his side. Grinding some herbs you make the plan to keep at hand, reciting to yourself what you remember of useful ingredients for pain and broken bones.

At some point during the afternoon, you stop your counting in Greek of the ingredients you know, trying to make a mental list of those you will be able to acquire, and in the silence you leave behind Ivar hums a complaint.

You roll your eyes, and continue once again listing ingredients and techniques in your own tongue, your voice soft and barely above a murmur.

The next morning, when you pointedly move a platter with elderberries and a sweetened tisane of willow to accompany them to the center of the table, Ivar narrows his eyes.

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are.” He grumbles.

You reply only with a smile as you place some of the berries -what you know he knows to be mild analgesics, especially paired with willow- on your mouth.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

____

So, what do you think? Would love to know what you think :)

As to why I deleted this one is mainly a matter of too many words for my word count on each chapter lol. It was supposed to be a short thing for the beginning of 22, but it turned into a 5k beast that I couldn’t include. I didn’t wanna leave it on my scraps document tho, so here ya go.

As before, this doesn’t mess with the schedule for the regular chapters, those will be up on time. Thank you so much for reading, sending you my love! <3

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #vikings #νοσταλγία masterlist

[animegenork]

Fruits Basket Season 2 Episodes 21-25

So obviously life happened and I never finished out season 2 with my not-so-reflective analyses of the Fruits Basket episodes. Well, season 3 has officially started (and this is the one time in my life I waited for the sub before watching it) and it’s about damn time I did this.

Hold on to your pants--

Episode 21

I would like to make it very clear that Baby Yuki is Baby and most be protected at all costs. With that in mind, let’s begin.

The episode starts with Yuki meeting Akito for the first time, back before he became a mess and way before he ever met Tohru. There is already an internal conflict here with what he wants versus what the zodiac spirit wants, and that is to see Akito. Due to the “God” role Akito plays, Yuki wants to see Akito... but Yuki himself knows deep down that he does not.

We see Yuki spending more and more time with Akito, which makes sense, since we’ve known for a while that they were “friends” of the childhood sort. Perhaps new information is Shigure comforting Akito whenever he was upset, but that’s not important to the storyline at hand. Everything was all fine and dandy until, Yuki notes, Akito became twisted.

This is where it starts to get bad for Yuki.

Sometime during the latest tantrum, Akito begins turning his inward self-hatred to Yuki, telling him that the Rat is hated and no one wants him. Of course, we’ve seen similar poison towards Kyo, and frankly, I’ve always loved this juxtaposition toward them. Kyo and Yuki’s zodiac spirits are hated in similar ways, and while they hate each other superficially because of this, they also hate themselves more than anyone else. Both of them have remained on the “fringes” of things for most of their entire lives, which is probably why we get to see more of them than really any other zodiac member.

Naturally, this causes young Yuki to seek Kyo out when he hears about someone else who’s on the outside looking in. They meet, and Yuki’s all gung ho to try to make a friend. Unfortunately, Kyo has seen his own shit and is convinced Yuki is to blame for his suffering. So he tells Yuki he should just disappear from this world.

[A moment to cry over Baby Yuki’s expression. *sob*]

As most children do when faced with something awful like that, Yuki goes to his mother for comfort. Instead, she slaps him. (I just really hate her.) This leads into a scene of Akito spouting his usual poison at Yuki, brainwashing him into thinking everything is hopeless and bleak and that he’d be better off not going outside (to paraphrase). It doesn’t help that when he reaches out to his brother, or to anyone else really, he’s rejected. So, really, it’s no wonder he became such a mess, when the whole world has been working against him from the beginning.

Following this, we get to see Yuki going to school and attempting normalcy, even making some friends. Of course, we all know how that turns out, because Yuki has told us before: his friends’ memories were erased when his curse was revealed. Props to Hatori, I guess, for not succumbing to Baby Yuki’s cuteness when he begged the older boy not to do it.

Yuki reveals, in another interaction with Kyo in which our resident cat boy refuses to take back his hat because Yuki touched it (while I can’t blame him, I’ll always be a little mad at Kyo), that he really just wanted a home. A place where he was happy. Even Kyo had friends and a foster father, despite any verbal abuse launched his way.

When he falls ill, Akito tells Yuki more about Kyo, heartbroken over the loss of his mother and swearing that he’ll kill the Rat and make amends. If possible, Yuki falls into a greater despair and decides to run away, donning the hat that once belonged to Kyo. In a way, this is where we see Yuki’s selfless side, which has always been there--he ran away in order to alleviate some of Kyo’s sadness, which he believes he caused.

GIVE. THIS BOY. A HUG.

So he runs and runs until he finds a woman talking to the police. Her daughter is lost. Now, obviously this is Kyoko--who else could it be--but Yuki doesn’t know that. However, he had seen a little girl crying somewhere and went to find her again. The girl, our lovely Tohru, follows him when he tries to go find Kyoko again to tell her, so he begins to lead her home. When they get there, before they can meet or hug or anything that would put her in danger, he gives her the hat and runs away.

Thus endeth the story of Tohru’s “prince.”

In some ways, this one event helped alleviate some of Yuki’s pain. He was useless and needed. He’d helped someone feel better. That can be the best feeling in the world for someone like Yuki.

Now, the funniest part about all this is Yuki was caught up in a memory. He’s not telling Kakeru any of this. Kakeru himself is a little weird, so he’s not terribly surprised. Yuki finally explains that he met Tohru once and didn’t realize that he had until sometime after they met again. Through her influence, Yuki decided to perservere, as he says, and keep trying to live for himself. Unfortunately, Akito’s influence is strong as well. He became twisted once more.

Poor Yuki. All this time, he wanted that stupid Cat to be his friend. That is one of the most interesting revelations, I think, that we ever see in Fruits Basket. I don’t think we ever find out if Kyo feels similarly, but the fact that Yuki, the one always insulting Kyo, just wanted to be friends is him, is somehow mind-blowing.

Then in comes Tohru again. She was there for him, time and time again. “She accepted me time and time again.” And really, that was all he ever wanted. To be accepted. To have someone care and give a shit. “Like how the sky feels so close, yet so far.”

“Like a mother.”

So, yes, folks, that’s the truth of it: Yuki sees Tohru as the mother he never had. I feel like for some this isn’t the type of truth you ever wanted to see, but here’s the important part to remember: for Yuki, romance wasn’t entirely important. He needed a parent. Someone to care for him. And Tohru gave him that time and time again. Perhaps, at one point, his feelings skewed toward the romantic, but over time, he realized that Tohru wasn’t that for him. She was something he needed much more.

Kyo has his father. Yuki has his Tohru.

And that’s all I’m going to say on that. Because the rest is a matter of what you think.

Episode 22

Y’all forgive me it’s so hard to find gifs months after the episodes air a;lsjdkf;ajsdfas this gif is NOT mine

Hi, I love Kyo.

Anyway.

We pick up right where we left off with the series-changing revelation that Yuki considers Tohru to be his mother. Kakeru is the voice of “lol what do you mean she’s our age”. Yuki explains that he’d always yearned for a parent’s love (haha it’s like I knew that) and valued Tohru’s care so much that it just seemed natural to consider her that way. His inner monologue realizes that’s what Rin was looking for, too.

And like I said before, it takes him a while to realize this is the particular feeling he had prescribed to Tohru. It started when she went after Kyo, the night we see his true form. Of course, as with all the zodiac members, he probably hadn’t been able to put voice to the feeling just yet. It happens. But he even admits that he tried to be romantic with her, but eventually, it just felt too wrong to do. I get it, since I have a friend I consider my father, and when people told us we looked like a couple, we were grossed out beyond belief. So yeah. Makes sense.

Kakeru goes, “Well people look for romance with people like their mom all the time.” First of all, Kakeru, Tohru is nothing like Yuki’s mother. Okay. Second of all, Yuki clarifies that he doesn’t see her as a woman. But Kyo does. The Cat always knew how he felt about her. And you can see the same feeling radiating from Tohru.

*sobs* Okay. Sorry.

Yuki resolves to live on, spurred on by Tohru’s encouragement and love. Kakeru responds by throwing a soccer ball at his face.

I’ve mentioned before I love their relationship, right?

Shenanigans ensue, and Yuki says he might be able to tell Tohru precisely what he told Kakeru, but not right now.

BACK TO THE PLAY! Tohru is attempting to memorize her lines, and Shigure finds out Kyo is the Prince. This angers Kyo, naturally, because no way in hell does he want that Dog to embarrass him. He confiscates Tohru’s script (I cackled at this part) and tells her not to tell Shisho (but she obviously did already). Basically, we get some unintentional flirting between these two until Yuki cuts in using the classic Fruits Basket slapstick.

Yuki tells Kyo that Tohru has the hat in a moment of just sheer understanding passing between them, and Kyo goes to his room to sulk. Cuz Kyo.

A lot of what happens next is pretty self-explanatory: Ayame is Ayame, Yuki is the resigned brother, Tohru can’t play an evil stepsister to save her life, yada yada. The class eventually decides to rewrite the play because obviously a non-evil stepsister ain’t gonna work. Kyo is nowhere to be found. Tohru offers to find him, but Yuki takes over.

Ah, yes. The classic.

Here we see a classic rival clash, but it’s not physical. It’s verbal. Yuki’s very good at putting on a certain face in front of Kyo, but it’s always when Kyo needs it most. Kyo yells that Yuki has his parents. He’s loved and praised. What it all boils down to is that Kyo doesn’t think he’s worthy of being a prince. That’s always been Yuki’s crown to wear. It’s a case of the simplest thing triggering a much deeper emotion. Kyo claims Yuki doesn’t understand, but we all know that’s not the case at all. Yuki understands all too well. So Yuki asks if he really wants to achieve this impossible thing (defeating the Rat), if he really wants to not have anyone to hate.

Kyo punches a window.

We have a brief scene of Machi coming by and saying something about Yuki not being a prince. While the other classmate with her is appalled, Yuki is just stunned. Because that’s probably exactly what he’s wanted to hear all these years. (Go Machi!)

Returning to the classroom, Kyo finds the ever-cheerful Tohru with the revised Cinderella. As she babbles about how he’ll probably be able to do the play better this time around, he reflects on Yuki finding him sulking. Tohru notices his injured hand, and he just leans on her. He’s very good at this, I’ve noticed. The leaning. Makes my heart pound every time. And clearly, it worked on Tohru, too.

Kyo tells her she better not laugh at his performance, and they go home.

And scene.

Episode 23

To be frank, this episode doesn’t need much analysis. It’s mostly comedy and shenanigans and everything one could love about Fruits Basket.

Also, woof. Kyo with long hair.

We’ve got a narrator telling the classic Cinderella while the play goes in an entirely different direction. Cinderella Hanajima loves her Stepsister Tohru deeply but fears the prince taking her away. (Oh wait this is an allegory or something isn’t it.)

Flash forward to the ball, Prince Kyo wants nothing to do with all of this, and Buddy Uotani is telling him to get the hell up. Kyo doesn’t budge, refusing to dance with anyone, until, of course, Tohru approaches. He wigs out, because that’s what Kyo does, and tries to call her back. It’s almost like he forgets this is a play or something as he deflates from rejecting Tohru.

Cinderella arrives, she and Kyo clash, she leaves, wishing she’d eaten more meat. Naturally, a glass slipper is left behind. Kyo says he doesn’t really want to go find the girl, and Uotani begins the second most important scene of the episode.

With passionate urging, Uotani tells Kyo not to waste this chance to see her, saying that some people don’t get to see the people they want to. Then she screams, “COME SEE ME, DAMMIT” and we all know that’s aimed at Kureno.

We got to the classic glass slipper scene, and Hanajima enters and pulls quite the badass move. She asks Kyo if he plans on deceiving himself forever and keeping himself locked away. Most of the audience doesn’t really know that she’s referring to his feelings for Tohru and, to us the viewer, the way he’s going to willingly give up his freedom after high school ends.

Kyo: “So what if I do? Does that hurt anyone else?”

Tohru knows precisely what conversation is happening, and she starts to say that she doesn’t want to lose him. But, being Tohru, she’s not quite able to put it into words. But Kyo picks up on this, and he’s taken off guard. He’s an idiot, not picking up on her feelings for him in their entirety despite all the hints thrown his way. Even Momiji and Kisa know what’s going on here.

Awkwardness ensues, Yuki swoops in and tells Kyo to make his wish come true on his own in a classic “Broheim you better FUGGIN do it YOU HEAR ME” way.

The play ends, we see Shisho, Kyo tells him not to get married (because Hanajima is swooping in), and we find out Haru told him about the play. Obligatory reference to shirtless Kyo. Shisho picks up on Kyo’s conflicted feelings about Tohru while Kyo tells himself Tohru probably wasn’t trying to say what he thought she was.

Shenanigans ensue again, this time with Haru and Hiro, which is pretty funny, and then we check in on Yuki and Kakeru, who see Machi getting bullied. Petty girls being petty about a girl who’s not petty. How petty. Machi makes it clear that she thinks Yuki’s an airhead (which hits him like a brick LOLLLL) and then she says he seems lonely. That gives him pause, because she picked up on the one thing no one else at the school (besides other Sohmas and Tohru) have picked up on. She’s amazing like that.

BACK TO KYO I LOVE HIM. He meets up with Tohru and they start walking together. At the exact same time, they tell themselves that it couldn’t be, the other doesn’t have feelings for them. “I won’t let myself think it.”

And they break their own hearts in the process.

Pardon me, I have to sob again.

Episode 24

Once again, the gif is not mine. Apologies, y’all, I’m bad at this.

MACHI TIME!

The student council is going out to party--er, not really party, but just have lunch, I guess. Machi doesn’t really want to come, and Yuki tries to get her opinion on things so they can make everything more amenable. She tells him he doesn’t need to make such a fuss, that her opinions aren’t his concern. He says she’s right, and that he just wants to see the world through her eyes.

Does he REALIZE when he does that??? Probably not.

Anyway, everyone goes home, Yuki and Kakeru are THEM at its finest, and Machi goes home. Her mother calls, and we see a little bit of her past, where her mother pressured her to be better than Kakeru at everything. This suppressed her personality to a point of what her mother calls dullness. And Machi agrees. She knows she’s dull, that she struggled to make people happy, only to be abandoned and left an empty shell. 

She then reflects on how Yuki’s changed. Even when he smiled before, it seemed lonely, not genuine. But now he’s changing to smile for real. While he’s changed, she’s remained stagnant.

Machi ends up going to the student council gathering, reflecting on how she’s not sure if she means something to the world. She’s stopped in her tracks by Yuki calling out to her, saying he’s glad she came. And she drops everything.

What happens next is typical rom com. Yuki notices she kept the maple leaf and says he’s happy, Machi yells that there wasn’t any special reason behind her keeping it. Understandably, Yuki is confused. Kakeru makes her embarrassment worse by popping in, but it’s a cute moment, because Yuki finally gets the answer to the question, “What’s your favorite color?” Because of course he remembered.

We cut over to Tohru, who’s staying with Shisho for New Year’s so she’s not lonely. Good call on the part of the Sohmas. Yuki and Shigure really just didn’t want to leave Kyo alone with Tohru, which is funny in itself since Kyo is a harmless kitty, but alas.

But they’re not alone with Shisho; Rin’s there! And Tohru goes in for a hug only to splat against the wall. Poor thing. We find out Rin and Kyo don’t exactly like each other, but they don’t dislike each other either. Very confusing, but I don’t question it.

We cut over to the banquet and a riveting shot of Hatori (fanservice for Hatori’s fanclub hehehehe) and we get some Ayame and Shigure shenanigans. I love them dearly, ridiculous as they are. We see Akito try to do the thing with Yuki again, saying he forgives him for his transgressions, and Yuki just says that he forgives Akito as well. He’s tired of blaming others, sick of it. He needs to move so he can change.

Akito sees something in his eyes, and she has a flashback to something involving Kureno. So he attacks, demanding Yuki apologize. The rest of the zodiac is stunned and confused. Ayame mobilizes to get Yuki some medical attention, and Hatori helps him out. Yuki takes a moment to apologize for blaming Hatori all those years for what happened when he was a kid. We see that Hatori felt indebted to Yuki for that as well and had resolved to keep an eye on him. They have a brotherly moment.

We see Tohru resolve to wish for the curse to be broken this year, and Momiji gives Kureno the DVD of the play where Uotani yells for him to see her. Haru goes to see Rin, who’s fallen asleep. Overall, Tohru says, she wishes for change.

Dun dun dun.

Episode 25

The plot thickens.

So we start off with Kureno and Akito, where Akito feels kinda sick after the episode with Yuki (episode as in incident, not---anyway). Kureno promises to stay by his side, and we immediately cut to Uo still missing him, but not saying so in so many words.

Tohru reflects on what happened during New Year’s, including Yuki coming back with a bandage on his forehead. He explains that he stood up to Akito, and he asks her if she thinks he did a good job. Now he’s just milking the mom thing, but she doesn’t seem to notice as she says yes.

Back to the present, we see that Shigure and Akito are fighting. He says something snarky about how Akito’s the one who’s always with Kureno, and Hatori treats this like it’s a childish argument. It is. Because Shigure’s a bit of a child. But it’s a bit deeper than that. They discuss how Kureno feels different than the rest of the zodiac, but they don’t say exactly what it is. That’s for later.

Kureno watches the DVD of the play, and he struggles with his feelings for Uo and his loyalty to Akito. He calls Shigure’s house and gets Shigure, and then we see Tohru come home and go right back out for an errand. She ends up at a park and sees some sparrows (AH YES, THE SYMBOLISM), and Kureno walks over to her, causing the sparrows to fly away.

What’s important here is to remember that members of the zodiac attract the animal they have the spirit of. We see it most often with Kyo and the cats. So why is Kureno chasing away the sparrows, the bird he turned into? Even Tohru is confused, until he hugs her and nothing happens.

That is to say, his curse is broken.

Kureno explains that he’s not sure how it happened--which disappoints Tohru, considering her quest to break the curse--only that it did. Now he’s resolved to stay by Akito’s side, meaning he can’t see Uotani anymore. He tries, unsuccessfully, to make himself feel better by saying that he doesn’t need to see her--their meetings were flukes. Then Tohru puts her hand on his face, and he admits that he fell in love with Uo.

And thus, we reach the crux of Kureno’s conflict: he’s free to do whatever he wants now, but because of that, he needs to stay by Akito’s side. And really, it’s because he can’t stand to see that child cry again over an ancient bond. He needs to be there for Akito, so that he can always be there and never abandon “that sorrowful girl.”

Tohru is shocked, and yet something seems to fall into place when she realizes Akito is a girl.

And that’s where the season ends.

~ ~ ~

That was a long boy, so sorry about that, folks! Now I’m off to finally watch the first episode of the new season! See y’all next time!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket season 2 #excellent i actually did this at some point #now to actually watch episode 1 of season 3 #y'all i'm so sorry i bet no one actually cares about these a;lsdjkf;alsdjkfads

[ksfairytae]

sweetheart . kth [1]

pairing— kim taehyung & reader   genre— ceo taehyung, au, fluff, smut(?), angst, honestly there’s a lot ok parts— one //  word count— almost 2k lol  about— you’re a university student that is having a shit week and happened to bump into some rich ceo guy that’s very handsome. oh n he’s older than you. you guys might become a thing who knows. 

‘that will be 5,000 won please,’ the cashier stated. you fumbled around your pockets to find any change but to your dismay, there was nothing. so, you resorted to checking your bag and now that you think about it – that should’ve been the first thing you checked.

‘one moment,’ you quickly said as you looked in your purse to find the exact change. the cashier gave you an awkward smile as his eyes glanced towards the newly formed queue behind you. suddenly, someone behind you coughed obnoxiously and poked your shoulders. you turned around so quickly that you almost got whiplash. behind you stood a tall, broad man wearing a tuxedo under his black trench coat. he wore a face mask and so you had no clue who he was but you had a gut feeling that he was probably handsome.

‘yes?’ you asked in a bitter tone subconsciously.

‘would you like me to help you out there, sweetheart?’ he suggested raising one eyebrow. his voice was a deep baritone that sent shivers down your spine. at that moment, you were both attracted and irritated yet the latter was more dominant and so you let it take control of your emotions.

‘excuse me, i don’t need you to patronise me. thank you very much.’

he chuckled at your response, which only added fuel to the fire. you faced the cashier once again but this time you were so fast that the coins decided to fly out of your purse. you groaned as you smack your face with the palm of your hand.

‘you know what, miss? it’s christmas, it’s on m-,’ the cashier started.

‘no! i have the change, just one moment,’ you snapped as you bent down to pick up the coins. after a while, you picked up the coins that you had dropped and paid for the coffee. once the coffee arrived, the cashier stumbled and spilt hot coffee all over your hoodie causing you to curse out loud. you calmed down from your anger and kneeled down at the front of the queue. tears began to appear and you couldn’t help but let out a sob. from an outside perspective, it may seem like you were being incredibly rash and dramatic however the week that you had just experienced had built up frustration and anger, which decided to burst in the middle of the coffee shop across the street from your university.

‘here,’ a deep voice said, you looked up and saw that the man from behind you was holding out a coffee, ‘you really seemed like you needed this coffee so it’s on me, sweetheart.’

‘i told you to not patronise me...but thanks,’ you muttered as you sniffled. you got up from your kneeling position and took the coffee. your eyes refused to meet his due to embarrassment so you opt to keep them on the floor.

‘i kind of feel bad for snapping at you before…,’ you said, ‘...so, i’m sorry.’ the tall man stared at your flustered state for a moment before speaking.

‘i have a few minutes before i have to go back to work...i’ll accept your apology if you sit down with me for a makeshift date?’ he suggested before winking. you finally looked up to meet his eyes and bit the inside of your mouth to prevent a smile creeping onto your face.

‘fine,’ you agreed, ‘but i’ll let you know that i don’t owe you anything and this isn’t a date. i’m only sitting down with you because my feet hurt.’ the man chuckled as he held out his arm to guide you to the closest table. you sat down and eyed the man as he took a seat in front of you.

‘so, are you going to take off the mask or are you going to continue acting like you’re some famous hotshot?’ you joked.

‘i would take it off but i don’t owe you anything,’ he teased. you rolled your eyes at his comment and took a sip of your coffee. a few more minutes of silence continued before you got bored and curious.

‘well...can i at least know your name?’ you pestered.

‘it’s kim taehyung and you are?’

‘y/n, your name sounds really familiar…’ you wondered, ‘maybe you are some famous hotshot that i don’t know about.’

‘trust me, sweetheart, if you saw my face you wouldn’t forget it.’ although you couldn’t see due to his mask, you could tell that he was smirking at you.

‘alright, drop the “mysterious, handsome man” act and just show your face. you buying me coffee does not equate to me falling in love with you however the mask is making me really dislike you, famous hotshot, or not,’ you ranted slightly. taehyung chuckled once more before lifting his arms to place the mask under his chin. your pouty face was replaced with awe as you were met with the most handsome man you had ever seen, which proved your gut feeling from earlier on. you hadn’t realised that you were staring until taehyung cleared his throat to bring you back to earth.

‘you’re quite testy, rough week?’ he asked as he tilted his head slightly to the side. such a simple act that made the tip of your ears become red hot.

‘you wouldn’t believe it,’ you groaned as you placed your head in the palm of your hands, ‘honestly, if i told you that this wasn’t the first time that i had coffee spilt on me this week, would you believe me?’ taehyung let out a breathy laugh before stirring his tea and watching you intently – amused at the quick change of interest.

‘wait, oh my gosh! i know you! you’re the man that’s on the television in my flat!’ you gasped causing the man to jump up slightly in his seat.

‘wow, that took some time. i was beginning to think you were actually clueless,’ taehyung smiled at your sudden outburst.

‘almost but aren’t you really big in the commercial world?’ you asked, ‘actually, i’ve learnt quite a bit about your company for my commercial law module, how did i not realise it was you sooner?’

‘oh, a law student? you must be a lot smarter than i thought,’ he hummed, ignoring your question. you rolled your eyes at him before watching him. kim taehyung, he was the new ceo of the ‘kim trading’, which is a trading company that handles south korea’s largest export: electrical machinery. from what you’ve researched, his company is a family company, which meant that the ceo’s in the company has only ever been a ‘kim’ by blood. taehyung was the youngest ever to become the ceo of the company, due to his father’s request (the previous ceo), and he’s been incredibly successful. therefore, he is highly respected in the commercial industry.

‘i’m not an utter idiot, mr. kim, i’m just very...meticulous,’ you sheepishly stated as you continued to drink your coffee. taehyung watched intently at how you would inhale as you took a sip from your coffee and how you would exhale once you’ve swallowed. he was staring and he knew it and when your eyes met his, he didn’t turn away.

‘you must be in your early 20s to be a university student, am i right, y/n?’ taehyung asked. it was the first time that he had said your name and hearing it come from his mouth was something that made you feel tingly. you nodded at his question.

‘i’m 21.’ taehyung hummed at your response before looking down at your fiddling fingers, they were so delicate and soft-looking. he saw the dainty watch that you were wearing, which suited you perfectly, and noticed the time. his lunch was over and he had to return back to his office. he reached into his inside pocket on his blazer and handed you his card.

‘listen, i’ve got to go to work now but i hope to see you again? this is my card, text me or call me,’ he said as he got up from his seat abruptly and held out his hand. you looked at him and then stared at his held-out hand in confusion. he smiled at your confused state and took your hand into his before shaking them.

‘oh…,’ you said to yourself once you realised what he was doing, ‘well, okay then.’

taehyung smiled at you and released your hand before dashing out of the coffee shop and into the car that was waiting outside for him. your hand was still held out as you tried to process what had just happened. you looked at the business card that he gave you and was unsure whether you wanted to actually call him. although you didn’t care to admit it, learning about his status only to meet him in real life made him extremely intimidating to you. his entire demeanour screamed out ‘ceo!’ and if he had meant ‘call me’ in the same way 18-year-old girls mean it when saying it to their crush, then you would most likely look like a pile of stained hoodies next to him if anything had progressed. after all, he was six years older than you and seemed to be extremely mature and you didn’t know if you would be able to catch up. therefore, coming to a conclusion, you decided to not call him and put the card into your coat pocket. just then your phone rang, which made you panic as you thought that taehyung had read your mind about not calling him and decided to track you down and call you instead. you hesitated before answering the call.

‘hello…?’ you answered in an unsure voice.

‘why are you saying “hello” like that, it’s me,’ the end of the call said. you relaxed slightly as you chuckled at your roommate, jungkook.

‘hey kook, what do you want?’ you asked before leaving the cafe.

‘i’ve just come out of my lecture, are you at home yet?’

‘no, i’ve just been in the cafe across from the uni, i’m walking home now,’ you replied.

‘where are you; we can walk home together.’ you gave jungkook your location and both of you began to walk back to the shared flat once you both met up.

‘you wouldn’t believe the morning i have just had, kook,’ you started but was interrupted before you could continue your story.

‘i don’t care,’ he said. you shoved him slightly before pouting at the sudden shutdown, ‘i’m just kidding, go on, you big baby.’

#bts #kim taehyung #v #bts v #bangtan #bts taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung funny #taehyung au #taehyung drabble #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung ceo #bts aus #bts scenarios #bts fic #bts kth #bts kpop #bts universe #bts reactions #bts x y/n

[class-wom]

Legion Chapter 23 “Morning After”-Thoughts – SPOILERS!!!

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 SPOILER TERRITORY

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Hello, my Snoopies!!!  😁 

(Although I would like to think of myself as more of a Garfield than a Snoopy, lol, but I digress! 🤣 )

1)  Wow -- Kerry pretty much used her metaphorical samurai sword to sever this viewer’s metaphorical jugular right off the bat with her lamenting “I miss having fun!”  The S1 Summerland Gang literally against the world? heck yeah -- so do I, Ker! so do I!

2) Nice to see that Syd is finally softening at least slightly where David is concerned, noting that falling in love is “worth it” and that he’s “unstable” but “has powers” and is “magic.”  Well, hey, you gotta start somewhere!  Also, considering how badly Syd’s encounter with “Syd-from-the-Past” ended, perhaps she’ll look back at her Chapter 19 “Maybe I trust myself more”-jab at David and her unswerving faith in her future self with extreme regret and reshape her position before causing any more irreparable damage to David’s psyche...and, by default, literally the world!!!

3)  Okay, so keeping track of whether Farouk is a “good guy” or a “bad guy”:  We’ve reached the halfway-mark of the season, and we’re literally two-for-two, where Chapters 21 and 22 have him as a classic slimy baddie and Chapters 20 and 23 have him as a “not-quite-that-bad guy.”  Nope, not a hero -- Sorry, Amahl, I don’t give a flip what you say!  You’re 2,000 years old, so you should know a lot better, and you should have a few cultures and such under your belt by now!  That’s the break I’m giving David and not you -- he is, as you pointed out in Chapter 11, young and inexperienced, and while I’m still hoping he’ll get a point in the right direction eventually, he’s flailing about, hence my constant passes with him.  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!

4)  That being said, okay, we have the whole “corrupting power”-thing, which does kind of bug me a little.  As with Chapters 7 and 15, it was ultimately David who finally defeated the time eaters once and for all, the most awesome (imo, anyway) moment being his utilizing his multiple personalities to get the job done.  I like his efficiency here and, while on the one hand feel he deserves at least a little credit for solving a problem he intentionally or otherwise created, on the other, I really wish he could do it without completely succumbing to corruption and making such declarations as “I am God!”  (Can we please remember that, at least to a degree, this seed was planted by Farouk himself in Chapter 10 -- “bigger than Jesus” -- and perhaps even earlier?  One of the many reasons that Farouk will never be a hero at his absolute best as far as I’m concerned.  And oh yeah, that other problem that David has? using his powers to literally create his own reality? another seed planted by Farouk via Chapters 10 and 14 -- ‘nuff said.)  Speaking for myself and perhaps others, I do like to root for my protagonists, and part of the battle is not only defeating the baddies but defeating personal demons in the process.  (The climax of Return of the Jedi with Luke, Darth, and the Emperor comes to mind as an example of this.)  David does just fine with the former, but I’m still hoping he’ll find someone who can help him learn the latter somehow.  (Just pleeeeeeze anyone but Farouk, unless he actually apologizes for that whole “Bigger than Jesus” thing and the whole Amy-thing from Chapter 13!!! but I’m not holding my breath!)

5)  So if I understand this correctly, the time eaters have the capability of feeding on fears, at least where David and Syd are concerned.  And what I learned is that, in a twisted fashion (true to the nature of this show, lol), they essentially share the same fear:  Being overpowered and losing control, physically and sexually in Syd’s case, literal incarceration in David’s.  (Yeah, D3 -- way to go with that S2 Finale “trial” for the upteenth time, especially since a nice chunk of his life has already been spent in incarceration of one form or another, but I digress!)  With regard to the latter, we did learn a thing or two about his maternal side, that he comes from a family of gypsies, among other things.  (With that in mind, that really had to hurt poor Gabs!)  We also saw that Gabrielle has accepted the idea of being crazy and/or incarceration and he has a ways to go; cannot say enough about what DS did with this scene as an actor, sorry not sorry.  (Thinking back to Chapter 22, after seeing Gabs in her cell in a striped ensemble and head covering, should I be concerned that she’s dressed Baby Davey in a similar fashion and placed him in a barred crib, or am I overthinking this yet again?  I know how Noah loves his “See what I did there?”-visuals.)  Also, as a viewer, with regards to the opening, loved the idea of his mother singing to him as a baby and passing on her heritage in that fashion.  No wonder he was noticeably irate at Lenny for yanking him out of that moment  -- I’d be a little hacked myself!

6)  Giving the benefit of the doubt, I also think that both David and Syd are in extreme denial of their frailties:  If David is clearly in denial and refuses to accept being hurt and/or acknowledging his mental issues (and yes, I can see that), then Syd is in denial over the idea of her pain being armor and making her invincible, as she oh-so-confidently declared to him in her Chapter 12 igloo.  (Then again, this was pre-Chapter 13 for David and pre-Chapter 19 for Syd, so as far as either was concerned, all was well psychologically and emotionally, and neither had faced any major tests.  I’d rather not talk just yet as to how either is passing said test thus far, tbh!)  I dunno, maybe the idea is that, yeah, she wants to protect herself.  Like David, however, she is literally her own worst enemy in that she does want and crave that intimacy and vulnerability, hence the reason she finally opens up to that literal embrace of her younger self.  I guess I don’t mind seeing that, but if I’m supposed to root for David to finally accept his frailties and consequences and for once be honest with himself, then I would like Syd to be honest with herself rather than to justify her own bad behavior for the upteenth time.  Otherwise, neither will be worth a darn by curtain’s fall!  I said it before, and I’ll say it again:  If we’re expecting David to do this, we should bear in mind that he has had a lot of poor examples to follow, so we shouldn’t be so terribly shocked at his lack of a sense of responsibility when he’s surrounded by so many excusing and justifying their own positions, including self-proclaimed parasitical “father figure.”  I’m just sayin’...

7)  If someone says “Love means giving him the power to hurt you,” I swear I’ll lose what crap I have yet to lose thus far!  OTOH, if the person in question just happens to be Farouk, that might be kind of fun shade to throw in a certain direction! 😈

8)  The more I think of it, the more I feel the need to devote yet another paragraph to David vs. the Time Eaters, because imo, while decidedly imperfect (as noted in 4), it was so emotionally and ironically satisfying.  I found myself mentally cheering the same way I did when he broke out of his mental prison in Chapter 7 and splattered the “demon-chicken” in Chapter 15, and for the same reason:  Something finally was accomplished!!! Megalomania and twisted motives aside, if this action doesn’t make him a hero per se, it at least makes him an antihero, and hey, he did find a way of solving his own problem, which provides a sort of hope that perhaps he could eventually figure things out on a more personal scale one way or another with the proper guide.  The issue I’m having here is that both Syd and SK see themselves as “heroes,” and if they are indeed...um, hello, did either do anything to proactively stop the problem? heck no -- SK is like, “Yeah, I know what’s going on, but whatever, we’re just gonna have to wait it out” (hey, D3 -- did you sign this creep up just to “wait it out”? seriously!) and led Clark and Kerry to that In-Between place or whatever for whatever reason (these scenes got even older than Farouk himself!) while Syd just got drunk and wallowed in her own victimhood, a la Chapter 16.  (Okay, fine, you’re still struggling with that, and you’re not quite sure how to handle that whole Time Warp Crisis thing, but instead of trying to figure the latter out on your own and be the hero as which you see yourself, yeah, look up your younger self and tie one one on board a nice luxury jet.  Meanwhile, your ex is in a freaking gulag, by his own making or otherwise, and I‘m sure he would have loved a sip or two of his own blue joy juice!)   But in a sense, David took a type of responsibility, ultimately rejecting the visions of imprisonment and finding a way to finally defeat the Time Eaters and solve the freaking problem!!!  Just my take on it, at least -- actions speak louder than words and all that jazz. 

9)  Giving credit where it’s due, Lenny deserves a shout-out for lighting the burr under David’s saddle to take some action and solve the time-eating problem.

Anyway, just a few thoughts.

#Legion #Chapter 23 #Spoilers

[lalka-laski]

You ever played Call Of Duty? Did you like it? Are you into those types of video games at all? I was never into any type of video games. Just not my scene. 

Do you like to cook for people, or do you order to be cooked for? Has anyone ever told you that you were a good cook? I love cooking for others, despite my nervousness sometimes. I find it so fulfilling! And I have been complimented on my cooking skills and creativity a number of times. 

Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? Nope. Those clocks don’t really bug me unless I’m trying to sleep. But then again, ANY NOISE bugs me when I’m trying to sleep.

Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you’d love it, but you really didn’t? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? More often than not, I don’t vibe with the music people suggest to me. I guess i just have to stumble upon new songs naturally, I can’t be TOLD to listen to something. It sets me up for failure.

What is your usual hair style? Do you tend to wear the same style every day, or do you switch it up a lot? I’ve been wearing it down and au naturel lately, with the occasional messy bun or high ponytail thrown in. I’m not very adventurous with my hair. 

Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? I had the same pediatrician from infancy to early adulthood. I then switched to a GP and I’ve seen her consistently ever since. 

I honestly have never visited the doctor expecting something dire. Which is funny considering my debilitating anxiety & paranoia! 

Do you prefer to go out to get ice cream, or do you just like to get the kind you keep in your freezer? What flavor do you usually get? I love all ice creams equally. It doesn’t matter what flavor, or where I eat it- it’s all delightful to me! 

Do you look forward to the holidays, or do you dread them? What holiday is your least favorite, and why? I love most holidays, especially now that my family has expanded! In fact, I like them so much that I can’t think of a “least favorite.” 

Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? It’s a picture of my baby girl! I actually didn’t take it though, her mom did. 

What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Anyone who knows me knows I love a good floral! 

Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? I’m a bit too old to feel “uncomfortable” going into a store that doesn’t quite cater to my style. And I like to think most people aren’t that close-minded. Or are they? And no, there are no stores I refuse to go in. 

Do you look in mirrors a lot, or do you try to avoid them? How many mirrors are in your house? I try to avoid them when I’m not home and can’t immediately fix my appearance. And there are 4 mirrors total in my apartment. 

What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? Lately I’ve loved a brand called Pink Clover that I discovered through Stitchfix. Otherwise, my clothes come from a variety of stores like Buckle, Express, Windsor, Forever 21, and random Made In China sites. I’m a bargain hunter but I’m not afraid to splurge a little when something really grabs me.  

What person do you text the most? Glenn or my sisters.

Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? Too damn many to list! I’m a sentimental sap and I can make myself spiral at the drop of a hat. IT’S A GIFT 

What are you listening to? Cafe Radio on Pandora 

What were you doing at 4am? Fast asleep 

What’s your favorite cereal? Damn this question! I have a sugary cereal addiction. Lately I’ve been obsessed with Oatmeal Creme Pie cereal but some of my other faves are Fruity Pebbles, Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Mini Wheats... ugh! 

What’s the last thing you drank? I’m sipping a coffee right now

Where is your biological mother right now? I assume she’s home, this is her prime nap hour! 

Where is your biological father right now? At work or driving between jobs 

What’s your mood? Overcaffeinated and excited for the weekend! 

Are you doing anything tomorrow? It’s TBD actually. I took the morning off work to help my sister move but she’s quarantining so those plans were put on hold. Now I have an entire Saturday off to do whatever I want! I think I’m gonna talk Glenn into taking me to brunch :)

Do you cry a lot? Way more than the average person. But I feel no shame about it and I’m actually sorry that other people can’t process their emotions as constructively! 

Have you recently? See above 

What’s your favorite candy? Anything sour and gummy is my jam. Oh and Cadbury Mini Eggs! Easter Candy is a serious weakness. 

Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Y’all nasty

Does your car have a name? I don’t have a car

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? Lord I wish! But I’ll be here at work for another 2 hours. 

Who did you sleep with last night? My honey bear 

Wearing any bracelets? Nope, I hardly wear jewelry 

What is your favorite color? Pink 

What should you be doing right now? Honestly there isn’t that much work for me here at the office so... it’s acceptable that I’m doing this survey 

How much older is the person you’re currently interested in? He’s 12 years older than me (hence why I was so nervous to introduce him to my dad!) 

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? Quite vividly (despite my intoxicated state). You could say he made a mark on me! 

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? Yeah 

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to? Very much so 

Did you have an exciting last weekend? It was a lot of fun! 

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Obviously 

Have you ever flirted with a friend’s crush? Not that I’m aware of. I’d never do that intentionally, that’s for sure. 

Did you have a good birthday this year? It’s 5 months away! 

Do you lead people on? No, although my friendliness is often misconstrued as flirtatiousness and attraction. Not my fault though! 

Who was the last person you made plans with? Me & Glenn have plans to lay on the floor and watch Dateline tonight... does that count? (Yes we like to make a bed on the floor. Let us BE!) 

When was the last time someone really got on your nerves? I’ve been slightly on edge recently so it could’ve been anyone 

Have you recently lost any clothes? Actually yeah, several socks in one load of laundry. Where the hell could they be?! 

What places will you be going tomorrow? Hopefully brunch! 

When is the next time you will kiss someone? In a couple hours when I get home 

How do you feel about your hair right now? It’s a little raggedy and needs a root touch-up but I can’t be bothered 

How fast have you driven a car? Not fast at all 

Have you ever smoked? Just weed

Is the last person you kissed your other half? He absolutely is 

Do you think this year is better than the last? I hate to say it but I had a pretty spectacular 2020. Although I think even more greatness is in store for 2021! 

Where is the last person you kissed at this moment? He’s at home 

Has anyone seen you in your underwear this past month? Yes 

Would you rather marry Taylor Lautner, or take a million dollars? A million, easy lol. 

Do you really believe in forever? I do 

What are you doing after this? Most likely another survey. And I’ll keep repeating this cycle ‘till it’s time to go home 

Someone says “all guys are players” You say? What grade are you in? 

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? We’re engaged! 

Do you believe in kissing when you’re not together yet? Do as you please! 

How serious are your feelings for the person you like? Considering I’m wearing this ring on my finger I’d say we’re pretty damn serious 

Do you live close to the person you like? We live together 

[thepsychicclam]

Can I ask what widely accepted Sterek headcanons you don't agree with/like? I love hearing differing opinions on headcanons.

Okay, here we go lol

-The sheriff’s name is John. Okay, this one really bugs me. Like, as a preference? Cool. You like his name as John. I’m down with that. But the devotion with which people cling to the name and demand it be used I don’t understand. I don’t have a problem with Noah, mainly bc I like the name, but honestly think that they should have left him as “the sheriff” without a name. (I also don’t think not making his name John was a slight against us. I don’t get upset about stuff like that usually. I don’t really care lol) I choose to use “the sheriff” in my fics bc he doesn’t have a name, and I have used John in the past bc it was used a lot (in domestic I know that’s his name. That may be the only one) But I’m kinda turned off by John now because of the way ppl acted about the name. Like not reading fics, including old fics, where his name isn’t John or refusing to read fics where his name is Noah???? Really? You’re gonna punish the author for a name that’s perhaps used less than 50% in the fic? I’ve read two fantastic fics where his name wasn’t John, one where he was named Randy and one Jeremiah. Who cares what his name is? If you like John, go for it. Write him as John to your heart’s content! But don’t get upset when other authors don’t use John. It doesn’t really matter in the long run.

-Sheriff/Melissa. I don’t like them together. Sorry. I actually regret putting the sheriff with Melissa in domestic. That’s why I never write them together anymore in it. I don’t like them. First, I don’t like Melissa very much. Second, Melissa deserves someone who truly loves her deeply, not the sheriff whose real love was Claudia and died. I just don’t like them together. I do like Chris/Melissa, but maybe bc I think JR and Melissa have more romantic chemistry, idk (and i have my own headcanons about chris and victoria and how they weren’t really in love). Honestly, idc about Melissa enough to care who she’s with, but I don’t agree she should be with the sheriff.

-Melissa is the bestest. Again, I don’t like her. Maybe bc I don’t like Scott very much, but Melissa is just kind of a bitch imo. She grates on me, esp around s3. But I also don’t think she’s a very good mother. But I don’t have a great reason/explanation for why I don’t like her. I just don’t.

-The camaro/jacket are Laura’s. Why? Like why is that a fandom thing, esp the Camaro? Why would she leave it? Why would Derek then drive it when she flew? It doesn’t make any sense. Plus, I prefer the Camaro to be Derek’s. The jacket I like being his father’s, not hers.

-Single dad!Derek can’t take care of his kids. I hate that trope/head canon. It pops up a lot in single dad!Derek fics. Laura is better at raising the kids, Derek can’t do anything with them without his family’s help, or even Stiles can handle them better. Um…no? I think Derek would make a great father. Sure, he’d make mistakes, but I hate it when Laura/Talia/Cora/Lydia/Scott/Stiles/Erica/etc know better about his kids than he does.

-Fail wolf!Derek - this is an older headcanon, I think, but I sometimes still see it around in fic. It ties in with the above idea. That concept that Derek can’t do anything right or others know better than him. Obviously, I’m biased bc I love Derek and he’s my favorite character on the show, and I like when his faults and flaws are explored, but he’s not a fail wolf. I don’t even think s2 was failwolf!Derek. He’s capable, brave, smart, resourceful, loyal, determined…these are not qualities that make him a fail wolf or unable to lead his pack, raise his kids, etc. He makes a lot of mistakes and bad decisions, but so does everyone else on that show, and he was trying to survive and do what was right, just not always in the best way. I’ve seen metas and fics dealing with this. I don’t like it when Stiles comes in and “fixes” the pack for Derek. Idk that just bugs me a lot.

-Scott and Stiles are BFF5EVAH!!!1!@@22!!21!! Don’t buy it. Even based on the show. Scott doesn’t really act like a BFF to Stiles unless it’s convenient for him. He blows off Stiles for girls (Allison and Kira, um who looked for Stiles for 2 days while Scott was romancing Kira? Derek and Chris), and yeah, they have their moments the show writes in there, like in the hospital in 3b or in motel california, but they just don’t fit with the rest of the show. Maybe it’s inconsistent writing, but I think it’s just that the friendship is not written as strongly as they want to pretend it is. S5, when Scott believed Theo over Stiles with the Donovan stuff? W.T.F. Just…that was the last straw for me. I don’t buy their eternal broship “the real romance is Scott and Stiles” bullshit. Maybe you want it to be, but that’s not how I viewed it when watching bc I don’t think that’s how it was written. I think they care about one another, but they obviously are very different, Scott shows he doesn’t care about Stiles, and they drift apart through the seasons.

- anyone calling Derek “Der”, especially when he hates it. I hate the nickname Der. Hate it.

That’s all I can think of right now. I want to talk about Lydia and Erica, but I have a separate ask for that, so I’ll do that there.

 So…yeah. *hides from stones*

[caswouldratherbehere]

I was tagged by @starsinursa. Thank you!

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Coffee

2: last phone call: My husband

3. last text message: My tumblr two step activation code. Cause my laptop crashed and burned and I had to reinstall and re-sign into everything.

4. last song you listened to: Whatever was last at the superbowl halftime show.

5. last time you cried: I don’t remember, probably some sappy commercial.

6. dated someone twice: Kinda? He refused to call it dating until well after we were reunited, so I don’t know if the breakup was ever technically a breakup? Relationships are weird. Rest under the cut.

7. kissed someone and regretted it?: Not kissing specifically, no...

8. been cheated on?: Nope.

9. lost someone special?: Unfortunately.

10. been depressed?: Yes. I technically scored as mildly depressed about a year ago, but it wasn’t severe enough for medication. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: Ugh, yes. Tequila is evil.

fave colors

12. Blue

13. Teal

14. Purple

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: Not really. I have within the last two years though.

16: fallen out of love?: Not in the least.

17. laughed until you cried?: Yep. We have had a few game nights that ended up at this point.

18. found out someone was talking about you?: Considering I applied for a different position in my company, I know for a fact they were talking about me. If you mean in a backstabbing way, then no.

19. met someone who changed you?: Nope.

20. found out who your friends are?: I already knew. ;)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Well. Yeah. My husband. This list was definitely made for teens, wasn’t it?

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: All but three, and I’m pretty damn close with them, too.

23. do you have any pets?: Two kitties.

24. do you want to change your name?: I used to want to really bad. Got over it at some point.

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: Played games and chilled with my hubby. My next birthday is about three weeks away and I plan on playing more Artemis. So much fun.

26. What time did you wake up today? Uhhhh.... Noon. I work from home, and with a downed laptop, I just didn’t care.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Reading in bed. Probably on my phone, articles and stuff, before switching to my Kindle.

28. what is something you can’t wait for?: Seeing my sister again. She moved across the country last year and I miss her.

29. What are you listening to right now?: Grey’s Anatomy is on in the background.

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Yessss? What a weird question. My BF’s friend’s dad is named Tom. Actually, I know a lot of Toms from that generation.

31. something that’s getting on your nerves?: STUPID LAPTOPS THAT COST A FORTUNE AND ARE SHIT

32. most visited website: *sigh* The honest answer to this is riptidepublishing.com. It’s the company I work for.

33. hair color: That nebulous shade that no one can decide if it’s dark blonde or light brown, with red undertones.

34. long or short hair: Medium. Shoulder length right now, then I let it grow to my boobs before I cut it again.

35. do you have a crush on someone?: Only if my husband or actors count.

36. what do you like about yourself?: My brain. My mbti test tells me I’m good at dreaming up ideas and equally good at having the logic, organization, and critical thinking to see those ideas through. This is incredibly true.

37. want any piercings?: No. My ears are enough.

38. blood type: I have no idea. XD

39. nicknames: Kel.

40. relationship status: Married. 

41. zodiac: Pisces, first zodiac. Meaning I have a hint of Aquarius to me. (And I do.)

42. pronouns: She/ her

43. fave tv shows: Out of the current lineup? Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Grey’s Anatomy, Lucifer, Archer. I also watch a ton of ice figure skating.

44. tattoos: No.

45. right or left handed: Right.

46. ever had surgery?: Yeah, I had a cyst on my right ovary the size of a small watermelon. That was fun.

47. piercings?: Just ears.

48. sport: As I said, I watch a ton of figure skating. As for playing something, I’ll pass.

49. vacation: My dream vacation is Paris. But I love everywhere we go. The beach, the mountains, Vegas, other cities... I like a little bit of it all.

50. trainers: …I assume you mean sneakers/tennis shoes and are British, but I’m still confused why anyone would find that interesting. Asics, currently. New Balance usually.

more general:

51. eating: We’re having burrito bowls for dinner?

52. drinking: Water right now. Coke Vanilla zero with dinner.

53. i’m about to watch: Currently watching Grey’s Anatomy. We’ll probably watch Supernatural or X-Files with dinner.

54. waiting for: My laptop to get its head out of its ass.

55. want: More cats. All the cats. And all the money. And this job with my work.

56. get married: Already am, and I love it. Helps that I love him to bits.

57. career: I work for an LGBTQ publisher and it is truly, in nearly every way possible, the perfect job for me.

which is better:

58. hugs or kisses: Hugs, cause they are easier and more socially acceptable to share.

59. lips or eyes: Eyes.

60. shorter or taller: Taller. Says the 5′ 0″ chick.

61. older or younger: Older? Hubby is four years older than me anyway.

62. nice arms or stomach: Legs.

63. hookup or relationship: Relationship. I would be horrible at hookups.

64. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. My mom never worried an ounce about me when I was a teen.

have you ever:

65. kissed a stranger: No.

66. drank hard liquor: Yep. Crown Apple is the bomb.

67. lost glasses: I “lost” a pair in the sense that I left them in a drawer of a nightstand in Vegas. Ugh, so mad about that.

68. turned someone down: Yeah, actually. Don’t know how that ever happened.

69. sex on first date: Lol. I’ve only ever been with my husband (life just worked out that way) and he didn’t want to do it until we were married. He cracked a two years. (Though given that he wouldn’t say we were dating, that might still count? lol)

70. broken someones heart: No.

71. had your heart broken: Oh yeah.

72. been arrested: Nope. See statement about being so “good” that my mom never worried about me.

73. cried when someone died: Ridiculous amounts. Every time.

74. fallen for a friend: Not really.

do you believe in:

75. yourself: Some days.

76. miracles: Yeah.

77. love at first sight: I believe it happens, yes. It’s just rare.

78. santa clause: I believe in the magic of Santa.

79. kiss on a first date: Yeah, why not? As long as both want it.

80. angels: Not really, I’m a fairly strong atheist-agnostic.

80.5. Ghosts: Yes. I’ve heard too many stories to doubt that. One came from my mom and the hospital she works at, and she is not prone to fancy or fantasy.

other:

81. best friend’s name: Tammy. Wow, I guess some things never change. I’ve known her since I was 5.

82. eye color: Blue.

83. favorite movie: The Princess Bride.

84. fave actor: Misha Collins. Obvs.

This legit did not have 85 questions, so I added one under the “believe” section. You’re welcome.

And I legit can not think of people to tag right now, other than the one or two I always tag. (You know who you are...) So feel free to say I tagged you if you want.

#meme #tag game #about me

[manabingu]

ManaTagged! Heyoo~

tagged by the sweet ♥ @rainbow-galaxy-supernova  (sorry its overdue)

The last:

1.) Drink: Raspberry Milk Tea w/Lychee Popping Pearls

2.) Phone call: to @tyrestgwa earlier today via skype

3.) Text message: to @crystalwoodsart

4.) Song you listened to: Phoenix Ash’s Cover of JAP by Abingdon Boys School & Fome’s Cover of Count Zero by T.M. Revolution (SO FCKN GOOD)

5.) Time you cried: yesterday 8D during Wonder Woman ;U;o

6.) Dated someone twice: Tyrest is the first & only official dating. But me and @crystalwoodsart have been married practically since 6th grade. She is mY WAIFU!

7.) Been Cheated on: Thank Ra No!

8.) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.BUT I mean- iN DREAMS YES.

9.) Lost someone special: It’s a universal thing. Namely pets for me

10.) Been depressed: 8) Story of my LIFE! But I’ve been makin progress

11.) Gotten drunk and thrown up: I REFUSE to consume alcohol/drugs

12-14.) LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Turquoise,Galaxy Print,Pastels/Silver tie

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.) Made new friends: I’ve been blessed thanks to YT Idol w/new singer pals!

16.) Fallen out of love: Yeah...in  high school I had so many talent crushes. Which I think is normal for theater kids. But I think I ended up with the correct person. He truly understands me. And though I sometimes wonder what would my life be if I had confessed my love to those others, I’m happy I waited for the person who accepted me just the way I am ;w;o

17.) Laughed until you cried: AS AN ABRIDGER, I am privileged to be surrounded by INCREDIBLY hilarious people & I love it!♥

18.) Found out someone was talking about you: YES. And BOY is it a trip when I find people are horrible trolls. I find out about sweet people who say super kind things about me or my work all the time. But when I get a heads up about backstabbers or people who get close for the wrong reasons, I put my guard up around them & just do my own thing. Because a path of jealousy, hatred & vengeance isn’t for me. Bullies can talk, but I’ll always ignore them.

19.) Met someone who changed you: Namely Tyrest,Crystal,Panda,Wraith10, @cozymochi (bows to her greatness), LordMoonstone, @kittykatsandbox, (FAB SENPAI) @ahsimwithsake & @laurathia who are 1 of 2 sets of adoptive internet parents I have XD and MOST RECENT OF ALL CEONN. If I hadn’t met Ceonn, my singing career journey wouldn’t have taken off.THANX

20.) Found out who your true friends are: YEP 8)! Sadly, just recently too...

21.) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Well, hispanic people greet each other by cheek kisses so  I will say yes.

22.) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Everyone cuz my FB is family & IRL friends only ^^; BUT my ZEXAL Abridged has a FB 

23.) Do you have any pets: My pet cockatiel Patchos 8D

24.) Do you want to change your name: No, but don’t mind having a stage name to be honest. I love stage names ^_^

25.) What did you do for your last birthday: Probably sang,drew & other stuff 

26.) What time did you wake up: 9 or 10ish? I had to meet some friends today

27.) What were you doing at midnight last night: GAWKING at Gal Gadot

28.) Name something you cannot wait for:Anime Idol @ Metrocon, finally getting out more song covers/abridged stuff. And being stable again.

29.) When was the last time you saw your mother?: a few seconds ago

30.) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish that ONE thing didn’t happen & my family had the same wealth we shoulda had if luck was on our side. That & I wish I wasn’t afraid of certain things so I could progress faster.

31.) What are you listening to right now: Fome’s Covers,& MY own covers

32.) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeS?

33.) Something that is getting on your nerves: Hypocrites lately 8)

34.) Most visited website: Tumblr,Instagram,Twitter & YT are tied tbh

35-37.) Finished all of school: yeppers

38.) Hair color: Dark Chocolate Brown (I used swatches at Sally’s XD)

39.) Long or short hair: I enjoy having long princess hair, but I cut it recently QuQ woops. Mostly cuz I wanted to try a T.M. Revolution hairdo XD

40.) Do you have a crush on someone: I HAVE ANIMAY HUSbANDs/WAifUS

41.) What do you like about yourself: My voice range! I used to be SO self conscious as a kid, but eventually it became my greatest strength because it’s SO versatile it honestly I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my unique voice QuQ

42.) Piercings: My ears have been pierced since birth. Mom wanted it

43.) Blood type: O? I think was what it was? It’s been years lol

44.) Nickname: Mana & Ginga (to my singer friends)

45.) Relationship status: Taken by Tyrest (with Crystal on the side ;D heh)

46.) Zodiac sign: I am a proud Sagittarius ♐

47.) Pronouns: Her is fine, but I don’t mind He if I’m crossplaying (mostly Ginga). It’s kind of a weird thing for me cuz I’m genderfluid ;w; but if anything to avoid confusion, just go with feminine one XD cuz whatvs???

48.) Favorite TV show: ITS HARD. I like too many things.Non-Anime TV Show wise I watch mostly Trail & Error & Fresh Off the Boat. But Anime-wise: ZEXAL (but YGO in general), Darker Than Black, One Punch Man/Mob Psycho 100, Uta no Prince-sama, Saint Seiya/Omega, Tokyo Mew Mew, Kaleido Star, anything by CLAMP, Kamen Rider Gaim/Fourze, Death Note, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, FMA...too many...I know I have more...

49.) Tattoos: NoPe

50.) Right or left hand: Righty

FIRST…

51.) Surgery: In 8th grade I almost died 8D! Ruptured appendix, 3 consecutive operations & all because the first time I went to the emrgency they sent me home & misdiagnosed me with stomach flu 8D HAH.HAH.HAAAA ;~~~;...

52.) Piercing: Ears only as mentioned previously

54.) Sport:I don’t do any.My fave is figure skating tho. I love Yuzuru Hanyu♥

55.) Vacation: Technically me comin to the U.S for the first time counts

56.) Pair of trainers: Is that slang for shoes???...uhh??

MORE GENERAL…

57.) Eating: I ate sushi at a Chinese Buffet called Giant Panda today

58.) Drinking: finished all the boba tea ;w;

59.) I’m about to: Sleep cuz it’s 1am xD

61.) Waiting for: Good news, & replies from a few emails I sent this week

62.) Want: To make my YT Channel flourish & master my voice

63.) Get married: With luck but I think a paper doesn’t dictate if you love a person or not. BECAUSE i wanna pursue singing/acting, I know I’ll always be traveling ;w; so that decision is hard. I mean we can be OFFICIAL via the paper thingy but like, I already know we’re together XD ffff lol

64.) Career: Singer/Actor/Voice Actor & Internet Personality maybe

65.) Hugs or kisses: Both ^o^...cuz honestly I’m a fluffy person ;w;o

66.) Lips or eyes: Both again...I Can’T HElP IT (deep down my thoughts are as swirly with flirtatious things...proly explains Ginga’s mannerisms)

67.) Shorter or taller: I’m short ;w; sniffs 5′1. Everyone else is a tree

68.) Older or younger: Depends on relationship type? Like I think having a partner at a relatively older age because I am anxious af & need someone older to guide me when I’m struggling, but don’t mind younger (but MATURE) person by 2 years max. But when it comes to friends, I befriend anyone who is kind-hearted. Because we can learn a lot from elders/ our youth

70.) Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t mind either or but TMR is @U@

71.) Sensitive or loud: I’m drawn more to sensitive people because they have higher levels of compassion & kinder hearts.

72.) Hook up or relationship: Relationship cuz I’m loyal AF

73.) Troublemaker or hesitant: Egh...both have downfalls. Hesitant is safer tho

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.) Kissed a stranger?: Nope BUT if I become an actor, that is a thought that keeps me up at night XD cuz ...again...I’m loyal af ;-;

75.) Drank hard liquor?: EWW >_>

76.) Lost glasses contact/lenses?: YES. During a musical in 10th grade (Suessical I was Cat in the Hat) I was on a trampoline and THEY FLEW OFF MY FACE! And ....we never found em O_O...they vanished....

77.) Turned someone down?: Yeah...a bunch of creepy fanboys throughout the years... 8) unfortunately the downfall of being an internet person

78.) Sex on first date?: DEPENDS. I’m demisexual, so I’m attracted to personality/emotional bonds not physical appearances. So IF my emotions towards them is high enough, I dunno if things could happen? But usually I stay reserved cuz I need to feel like I honestly love the person THAT much.

79.) Broken someone’s heart?: Probably ;w;...2 old buddies. I knew they had crushes on me...but I just didn’t feel the same way towards them -actually someone ELSE admitted they had a crush on me last month so the count is now up to 3...AGH. I WISH they can find someone who will make em happy because I think they deserve it tbh. They’re good dudes.

80.) Had your heart broken?: Once yeah, an old childhood crush was honestly insensitive when I asked him if he ever felt something for me &  he said “ehhh not really?” in a way that came off as insensitive XD?....yeah. But the MORE I thought about why I liked him, the more I realized I could NEVER be in a relationship with them cuz they were immature & didn’t know how to be serious.They don’t balance goofiness & sensitivity & I need a balanced person

81.) Been arrested?: NO

82.) Cried when someone died?: waterfalls of tears cuz I’m an emotional wreck

83.) Fallen for a friend?: yeah =w= a bunch of abridgers/singers hah. I get talent crushes ALL the time, but don’t act on it cuz I’m shy AND taken XD

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.) Yourself?: Usually...but I have many moments where I question if I’m good enough or worthy enough to be here ;w; gotta work on my Kattobingu

85.) Miracles?: Shining Draws should be real. But yeah miracles CAN happen

86.) Love at first sight?: FUYA OKUDAIRA 8D...and Takanori Nishikawa...and Mahiro Takasugi and Aoi Shouta tbh

87.) Santa Claus?: Elf is my favorite Christmas movie

88.) Kiss on the first date?: IT DEPENDS. But if it happens? AIGHT????

89.) Angels?: Yes \QwQ/! angels are real. @rosey-ballerina is one

OTHER….

90.) Current best friend’s name: Crystal is my bff & waifu but Tyrest too but honestly Kimmy, Panda & Ceonn are also tied with those 2

91.) Eye color: Brownies eUe

92.) Favorite movie: Finding Nemo, Big Hero 6,Lion King (all 3), All 3 Yu-Gi-Oh! Movies,The Emperor’s New Groove,Mrs. Doubtfire, Moana, Wonder Woman, Mary Poppins, Arrival, The Mummy, Matilda, Harry Potter, Pokemon 3,Hercules, Grave of the Fireflies, Antman, The Producers....and a few others

I tag: @t-chan @sylphwriter @eleanorose123 @ivmysterynumbers @zexalfangirl @shybunny @galaxyeyedphoton 

#Mana Tagged #I HAVE A HARD TIME WIT FAVES TBH #I LIKE TOO MANY THINGS HONESTLY AGH ;w; sowies eeehhh I am indecisive AF

[humanity-shortest-soldier]

For the author ask: 1, 4, 8, 9, 14, 21 and 25?

Author Ask Here

1) Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason? I guess I’m sort of holding off on finishing the next chapter of ‘Exactly My Type’. I’m not intending too, but I’m hella writer-blocked on it, and like… I’m super worried about screwing it up? A lot of big stuff is suppose to happen in this chapter, and I’m paranoid about not doing it right, and disappointing everyone who is looking forward to it. But putting it off makes me feel even worse, because I know people are waiting for it, so it’s like this endless cycle that’s driving me crazy. (I have a few days off this week tho, so maaaaybe I can get more of it done soon!

4) Favorite character you’ve written? I haven’t written for many characters so far, but my first favorite has got to be Mayuzumi. I live for his salty personality and snarky remarks, and he’s just way too fun to write for! Furihata is definitely my favorite that I’ve written the most for. I relate to him so much, but he’s so much braver and determined than I could ever be. He’s just an all around sweet little nugget, and I want to protect him forever. I also like writing for Akashi in theory, but I have a really hard time conveying his character, I think. (Bonus points to writing for Bokushi because again, I love snark.)

8) Favorite genre to write? Does fluff count as a genre? Because it’s fluff. Other than that, I don’t think I really have a preference? I’m definitly wary about more unfamiliar territory, but I’d be open to anything!

9) What, if anything, do you do for inspiration? I read a shit ton of other fics. It sort of works for inspiration, but it also lowkey makes me never want to write again, because everyone is so talented and I feel like I can never live up to the amazing things other people have written. Other than that, I don’t really do much. Occasionally conversations with friends will inspire a fic idea, and I love it when that happens, but that’s about it.

14) Do you make playlists for your current wips? I do not, but I really like the idea of it! I think it’s mainly because all I really listen to is like… heavy metal and hard rock, which doesn’t really go with the fluffy garbage that I write, lol. I would need someone who is actually musically educated to make one for me, haha!

21) What do you think when you read over your older work? Like I never want to write again, lol! For that reason, I generally don’t read over anything I’ve already posted. I triple check before I post it, and I’ll give it one more once-over after I post it, and then I never look at it again. (I did recently re-read ‘Exactly My Type’, to refresh myself, and I hated every second of it, haha) I know I’m not going to like reading my older stuff, so I save myself the despair and just don’t do it if I can avoid it. 

25) Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of: Oh god, lmao! I want to answer with “I’m not proud of anything I’ve written!” but that would be taking the easy way out, and I’m not a bitch, lol. (This took me forever to decide on, by the way! haha)

Akashi pushed to his feet in one fluid movement. He turned and, without thinking about it, extended his hand to Furihata, intending to help him to his feet.

 Furihata stared at the outstretched hand for a moment, his teeth worrying his bottom lip. Seconds passed, and Akashi was almost convinced that Furihata would refuse his assistance. It was only when he noticed the red on Furihata’s cheeks that he realized why the gesture might seem odd.

 Akashi looked at his extended hand, following Furihata’s line of sight, suddenly becoming aware of the red string knotted around his pinky finger.

 Before he could retract his hand, however, Furihata reached out. Akashi watched as Furihata’s trembling hand came closer, before carefully grasping his.

 Akashi pushed the sudden reminder of the string away. They had both agreed it was meaningless, after all. There was no reason for it to bother him now, and clearly Furihata had similar thoughts on the matter, if he accepted Akashi’s hand.

**This is from my other multi-chaptered AkaFuri fic, ‘Defying Fate’. I haven’t updated in a while, because work picked up and I got distracted with other things, but it will be finished at some point, I swear! It’s going to be long as shit, and the dumbest, slowest burn, but it’ll be there!

#ahhhhh thank you so much for this! #i can't believe people actually consider me an author? lmao right #akafuri #author asks #fic asks #knb #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basuke #akashi seijuro #furihata kouki #mayuzumi chihiro

[stealthsuitofsin]

Steve and Nat for the ship thing ALL THE NUMBERS

Send me a ship and a number and I’ll tell you… :: accepting

WOMAN. YOU WOULD SAY ALL.

1.    - Howdo they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Together? xD Steve fallsasleep usually once Nat gets settled. He doesn’t fall asleep right away, heonly drifts off usually after her. Nat usually finds a way to be right againsthim, drawn to the warmth his body radiates. Steve will always put himself between the doorway and Nat, in a semi-subconsciousattempt to protect her against potential intruders (and yes, he is well awareshe doesn’t need protecting, he justlikes her).

Waking up, Steve isalways up before she is, because he doesn’t sleep very long or often. He’ll laythere dozing if he can, not wanting to wake her, as she’ll be up and about assoon as he dares to move.

Daily ritual, the set oneis a shower together. For ease, time-saving and honestly because they enjoy it.

2.    - How’stheir team work? Do they share well?

 They are an amazing team,and their disagreements usually laden with sarcasm. Even though Steve is morevolatile now, and Nat has her secrets, their teamwork is admirable. A lot oftheir actions are unspoken past the initial plan, moving in a stranger unison. Theyshare responsibilities well and respect the other’s expertise.

3.    - Arethey open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays ofaffection?

Initially it was keptquiet, only due to professionalism and the duo avoiding it like the plague. Their dance around each other was funny andactually well hidden, though after it’s established, neither hide it. Thoughthey see no reason too, there is also this underlying sensation of ‘finally’that overwhelms them both.  

Steve is timid aroundpublic displays of affection but he won’t shy away from most of them. They’renot needed to reassure either of them, but Nat is far more comfortable with displaysof affection than Steve. 

4.    - Firstimpression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

Nat undoubtedly thoughtSteve was the typical ‘good boy’ from his era, Steve found Romanoff’s attitude refreshingand enjoyed her company. 

There was no love atfirst sight, their feelings for each other grew steadily for a long while.

5.    -Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes? 

Not really, there’s a fewhere and there but not many.

6.    - Anytasks that are always left to one person?

Nat is far more capableof being diplomatic towards politicians and policy-makers than Steve, so shegets to be the negotiator.

7.    - Whatannoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

Steve really wishes Natwould be more open with him. Natwould undoubtedly hope that Steve’s temper will eventually come under control. 

8.    - Whatdo the like best about their partner?

Steve finds it immenselyreassuring that Nat understands and comforts him through his panic attacks.Though he doesn’t enjoy feeling absolutely helpless, it really helps him thatsomeone is there with him. Nat feels protected and safe around Steve, which isa rare sensation for her to come by. She doesn’t want to let it go.

9.    - Dothey discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

If they do, it’s few andfar between.

10.  - Whodrives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public? 

Steve drives because he’sused to it, he likes doing it and if he didn’t he’d fidget and feel sort ofuseless. Cooking is mostly him, as if handiwork. He operates still under theolder impression of that he should. Nat very handily keeps tracks of thepayments and bills, and because Steve absolutely hates being in the spotlight,she handles most of the public.

11.  - Dothey celebrate holidays? Anniversaries? 

Yes, to both.

12.  - Isthere a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

Steve would have anentire plan of how to propose and undoubtedly something would happen to mess itup. It would seem spur of the moment or out of the blue, and their weddingwould undoubtedly be small and very private. Their honeymoon would be to somefar off beach, a sort of way to dive into Nat’s wish of running away. 

13.  - Whatdo they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switchthings up?

They do each other. Lol. Their favourite activity isprobably curling up on the couch and watching a movie Nat puts on. Their datesand outings are usually quieter but fun, as that was the way Romanoff helpedSteve acclimatize to the new world.

14.  -Anything they both dread?

Disappointing each other,and losing the other.

15.  - Howadventurous are they?

It depends on thecontext, in general sense – well Steve has jumped out of quinjets withoutparachutes, and Nat just smiles and refuses to talk about Budapest. They canboth get pretty adventurous if they want too. 

16.  - Dothey keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

Cheat? No.

Lie? Yes – and whileSteve has a few secrets, Nat has considerably more. 

17.  - Whatwould make them break up? Would it be permanent?

A very despicable lie ordeception, but it probably wouldn’t be permanent. It would depend on thesituation at hand, and how the secret came to be revealed.

18.  - Whatare their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need totake a break from each other? 

They’re quiet, nothingbig or flashy unless it’s a special occasion. To be fair, they didn’t reallydate as more-so just sort of ended up together. And they do take breaks,everyone needs some ‘me’ time on occasion, but it’s nothing detrimental totheir relationship. 

19.  - Whatdo they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up? 

They’ll often fight overSteve’s point of view on things, particularly Tony, the Accords and the way theworld is going. Nat’s secrets and lying doesn’t often help the situation. 

Rough, angry sex is theirusual turn to solution for making up. Though occasionally there’s an actualapology. 

20.  - Whatdoes their home look like? Their room?

Home is rather clear andneatly, their room is on the cleaner side but can fall to the wayside once in awhile.

21.  - Dothey share any interests or hobbies?

You mean other thankilling bad guys? Yes, but only a few. Though Nat’s main pass-time is to teaseSteve, their watch movies together or go to the cinema.

22.  - Doestheir work ever interfere with the relationship?

That entirely depends,what did Nat lie about?

23.  - How dothey hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort? 

How? I mean, hugging theyembrace each other affectionately. Though they’re not big on hugging, kissingis more common though how they kiss ranges from simple affection to rough andneedy, and it usually comes about because Nat is teasing Steve. Their flirting ismostly Nat, Steve’s not very good at it. 

Steve just finds Natbeing around comforting, though usually it’s in the form of Nat holding Steve’shand and tracing patterns on his arm with her nail. 

24.  - Anydoubts about the relationship?

Steve consistently doubtshimself and if he’s good enough. He doesn’t admit it, but the history betweenNat and Bucky makes him feel like he was the second choice due to Barnes’situation. He very often believes that Bucky would be the better choice. 

Nat’s checkered past andmistakes make her doubt herself and the potential of the relationship.

25.  - Howmuch time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold thingsin?

They spend a fair amountof time together, but neither are particular good with their feelings. Theyboth tend to hold things in, though Steve is notably more open than Nat. 

26.  - Howdo their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Their friends aresurprised at first but immediately supportive. The duo had good chemistry andit showed even before the relationship. 

27.  - Dothey have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

They have one child. Andthey’re pretty much together for life, their times apart are usually due tocircumstances brought on by one party (Steve) being an absolute shit.

28.  - Whatare their vacations like?

Relaxing, quiet andwelcomed escapes from the busy, chaotic world of Avengers business. Though they’rerare. 

29.  - Howdo the handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

They handle it all well,though major injuries can cause anxiety and worry. Sicknesses are not a bigconcern, but if one does get sick – there is immediate concern due to theirenhanced states. 

30.  - Couldthey manage a long distance relationship?

Yes, but it wouldn’t bethe easiest thing.

31.  - Dothey finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from eachother? Know when the other is hiding something?

No, they’re not that sortof couple. Though there are nuisances and a few things they pick up from oneanother, they’re not common place. 

They regularly have theirsuspicions about the other. 

32.  - Dothey ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous? 

In trouble in regards ofthe other partner being mad? Not as often as you’d think.

In terms of the broad-spectrum,world-view? Steve is wanted by S.H.I.E.L.D, the Avengers and Thaddeus Ross.

33.  - Whatkind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on specialoccasions? 

Well Nat got Steve apuppy, but any other gifts are often small and not common. They don’t have thetime nor resources to be materialistic.

34.  - Dothey have any pets?

Murder, which is Steve’sdog, and Liho, Nat’s precious cat. 

35.  - Dothey bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

BOTH.

And there are a fewnotable flaws shared between the two that appear once in a while. Though thelargest is their avoidance of certain, painful subjects. 

36.  -What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness? 

They can utterly rely onthe other, and never question that fact. Both know that the other will bethere. 

Their weakness is Steve’sstubbornness meeting Nat’s secretive tendencies. Though it’s hard for others toplay them against one another, it’s easy for the duo to argue over lies andsuspicion. 

37.  - Howmuch would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse tocross?

They would sacrifice anythingfor the other. 

38.  - Whatare they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’tdo? 

Steve’s ultimate kink isNatasha, let’s be honest. He honestly can’t resist her, and he’s well aware sheknows this. What they do varies a lot, ranging in what strikes their fancy atthe time. A big turn-on for him is Nat wandering around in one of his shirts (andeffectively drown her) and nothing else.

39.  - Whoinitiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realizethey were in love?

It was sort of a mutual,awkward realization at the worst time possible – followed with Steve kissingher. Steve knew he loved Nat for a while, but Nat was the one who admitted itfirst.

40.  - Anyspecial memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

When Nat showed up toPeggy’s funeral, while not a particular happy memory – it meant the world toSteve that she came to be there for him. 

41.  - Arethey party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

Nat drags Steve toparties, and Steve hardly manages to feel any influence of alcohol. If hesomehow gets tipsy or drunk, he’s a little chattier, dropping his reservedshell in favor to being a bit bolder. 

42.  - Dothey let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

All the time. Except forSteve looking out windows, Nat’s pretty strict on that.

43.  - Dothey talk often? What about?

All the time, andanything.

44.  - Arethe comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

They are, but everyoneneeds their privacy at points.

45.  - Anyspecial dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

Despite his circumstances, Steve does wish he could give Natthe life she wants. There are a lot of things he regrets, but very few of theminvolve Romanoff at all. If there are any instances of heartbreak, itundoubtedly involves Steve’s temper and Nat’s well-kept secrets.

#meme #sweet fucking christ #x.x #look at all those answers #TRASHBRO WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME #❤︎ luv u rly #ask #ask answered #open #memes #the-blackest-spider