#he’s horrified of course

[bet-on-me-13]

Unknown, the Wandering Hero

So! We all know the typical Vivisection AU, right? Danny is revealed to his parents and they take it in all the wrong ways. They capture him, Vivisect him, and eventually he manages to escape with the help of his friends.

But what about his Rouges?

Sure, we all like to think of some of the more friendly ones like Ember, or Sydney, or Johnny 13 and Kitty, but he has WAY more Evil Rouges than good ones.

Without Danny there to reign them in, the Rouges spread out across the world to fulfill their obsessions, unhampered by the Heroes and Villains of the world that have no means to fight them.

And Danny? He feels responsible. He was the one to open the Gate, he was the Sacrifice, the one to let them through. And when the going got tough he just up and left? No, that won't do.

His Obsession is Protection for a reason, and nothing has changed. All he needs to do is expand his area of focus a little.

Danny, after healing up, starts wandering the world in search of the Ghosts who have escaped into the Mortal Realm. He battles all of his old foes, as well as many new ones who he hadn't met before.

His travels take him far and wide.

He defeats Skulker in Metropolis, as he is trying to hunt down the Super Family for their pelts. They are the last of their race after all, so he is inclined to try and hunt them. Honestly dealing with Skulker was easy, dealing with the Rich Asshole who was funding him was a nightmare.

He chases down Spectra in Gotham as she tries to feed on the misery of an entire City. (Thanks to @impyssadobsessions for the idea, this Prompt specifically). She is actually a very tough fight, especially powered by both the Misery of an Entire City as well as his Own Misery, but he manages.

He defeats Technus is Central City, as he tries to Raid Star Labs for their advanced Tech. It actually took a while to beat him after he amped himself with all that Power, and he did need help from the Local Hero to deal with him. He's just thankful Technus is one of the more "Harmless" ones.

After every Victory, he sends them back to the Realms using the Banishing Spell that Sam taught him a while back (the only bit of magic he ever really managed to master).

He knows they'll eventually find their way back out, but it's all he can do anymore. It's his eternal Punishment for unleashing them out into the World in the first place. He was the Catalyst for this Situation, now he was tasked with Fixing it, no matter how long it took.

...

The Justice League is caught in a tricky situation a the moment.

In the past few months, they have been encountering more and more of these Extra Dimensional Beings known as Realms Ghosts across the World.

Justice League Dark has had some success in battling them, but even they are getting tired of having to deal with every single incident alone.

They did get approached by a Government Agency known as the Ghostly Investigation Ward that seemed to want to help, but it didn't take long to realize that their main Aim was to Genocide the entire Race. The JLA had quickly cut ties after realizing that, and took what little Tech and Information they had been able to gather.

Still, it wasn't easy to deal with these Entities.

Thankfully, they have had some outside help. An Unknown Being has been routinely showing up whenever a Realms Ghost appears and defeating them, before using a (as described by Constantine) "Rudimentary Banishing Spell held together by willpower and luck" to send them back to their home Dimension. There's honestly no way it should be functional, but he did make it work either way.

They don't know much about this Unknown, aside from the fact that he seems to be the only one able to consistently damage the Realms Ghosts. His Powerset leads them to belive he may be from the same Dimension, or at least drawing his power from the same Source, but as he actively avoids the League and takes every opportunity to not talk to them, they know they aren't getting any answers any time soon.

Over the past few months, they had affectionately started referring to him as Unknown, creative they know, because they could never get his Real Name. Sure, some of the Realms Ghosts seemed to recognize him, but they always called him stuff like "Whelp" and "Punk" and "Usurper", which were not very good names to use when referring to him. Although the last one was a bit concerning.

They had only managed to trade a few quick words with Unknown in the past few months, but it was enough to get the Gist of it. He was just doing his job, sending the Realms Ghosts back where they belonged. There was apparently a Tear in Reality letting them through, but he seemed hesitant to reveal what he knew about it.

After a few months of sparse interactions, they eventually managed to convince him to at least take an Emergency Communicator. Just in case. They even let him take it apart to look for any Tracking Devices, which earned them a small bit of trust. They took whatever wins they could.

Fortunately, it seemed he never did need it. In fact he was getting more and more efficient with every battle, defeating his foes in half the time it would have taken before.

Unfortunately, it didn't last forever. One day, the Communicator went off, a distorted voice quickly saying, "Need backup, some of them decide to Team Up" before cutting out.

They quickly rushed to his location, finding an active battlefield with no less that a dozen Ghosts battling Unknown. And he seemed to be on the ropes.

With their arrival, the combined force of the Justice League and Unknown eventually managed to defeat the Group of Ghosts. Justice League Dark volunteered to work on the Banishing Spells while the others cleaned up the damage from the Battle.

One of them approached Unknown to make sure he was ok, and froze.

During the battle, Unknown's Mask had been Torn off, and they could finally see the face of the Hero they had been working with for the past few months.

And he was a Child.

#Dp x dc #Dpxdc #Dc x dp #Dcxdp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Vivisection AU #Wandering Hero AU #Danny's Hero name is Unknown #Danny isn't in a good place right now #He has an unhealthy mix of a Savior Complex and Survivors Guilt #He believes that this is all his fault and none of this would have ever happened if he hadn't been stupid enough to step in the Portal #Danny is of course Wrong since he parents would have eventually made the Portal work whether he stepped in it or not #And in that scenario there would have been nobody who could stop the Ghosts at all and they would have run rampant #The JLA is horrified that they let a child fight their battles for this long #Of course they understand him since they are the exact same but they still feel bad for not supporting him more #(As if Danny would have let them) #Whether Danny let's himself be taken in by the League or runs away from his problems again is up to whoever picks up this post #I leave it humbly in your hands

[trek-tracks]

Starfleet Therapist: So what do we do when our ex won't speak to us

Kirk: Draft them out of retirement back into military service under my command

Starfleet therapist: nO

(this is a joke, obviously. Kirk would never go to therapy)

#star trek #star trek tos #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #captain kirk #star trek tmp #star trek the motion picture #it’s funny but also horrifying the more you think about it #at least Jim just mentally screamed at Spock until he came back on his own #man literally took away his dearest friend’s autonomy #of course then Spock took away Bones’ mental and bodily autonomy #at the end of the next movie #they both need a bit of a talking to

[mamawasatesttube]

not to be a bitch but like. i can never take "ohhhh kon is soOOoOoo sad about tim/ber uwaahhhh he's in love with tim but it's unrequited waaahhhh" angst seriously because like... i get it, the only thing you know about kon is that he's the other half of a popular m/m tim ship, but uh. rebirth kon is living an existential fucking nightmare. i think he's got way bigger fish to fry than whether the tim who only kind of remembers him at all is dating some other guy lmao

#rebirth tim even after getting his memories of kon back feels more like at least some of them are very vague and dreamlike #and of course ymmv interpretation wise but to me. if my friend no longer remembers formative experiences they shared with me clearly #i would not feel like they are the exact same friend i lost. i think that's a horrifying kind of grief. this is not the same person #like in yj19 tim refers to the memory yj98 issue 7 camping trip as being like a dream he once had #and kon has to be like uh that was real #like SORRY I JUST DON'T THINK HE'S THAT PRESSED ABOUT PRIME EARTH TIM'S DATING LIFE LMAO #SUPERMAN doesn't remember him and you're telling me he's moping about BERNARD?????? #anyway. this has been another episode of ''i like timkon but everyone else in the timkon tag is my fucking enemy'' with rimi merils #holds up a knife. appreciate kon as a character outside of tim or else. i am no longer asking #rimi talks #kon

[the-awful-falafel]

tfw it's going to be even harder for me to write/draw spooky fake peppino moments after this update comedically defanged him for a scene, even though:

1) it's a movie Noise wrote / directed / paid off the bosses for, and FP being scared off by yelling could easily be tied to that context (either because he was indeed treating it like a game and therefore was less persistent / more easily startled, or because he was asked to be more of a wimp, or both)

2) it's implied to take place a decent while postgame since Pizzahead and Vigilante are in the same room together and Vigi isn't trying to apprehend him like the credits implied he was going to do, so FP could have just mellowed out more in that time and/or Noise also could have gotten used to him. like FP seems pretty relaxed and just a little confused in the ending scene too, he's chill

there's a lot of ways you can interpret this shitposty joke moment so I'm a little bothered the immediate go-to for most of the fanbase is "fake peppino is a sweet baby who was never creepy". I personally read it as FP nervously retreating like "why are you yelling at me I did as you asked :/"

#plus like. fake peppino is still at the boarded up door at the end. him being scared off was clearly temporary lmfao #I saw it as more of a joke of how noise cheats and is irreverent towards peppino's adventure in general. of course he'd horrify the horror #he needs to look like more of a badass after all #fp still can be a creepy weirdo it's fine lol #I technically had my own postgame noise and FP dynamic that this scene goes a little against but I can rationalize it #pizza tower #pizza tower spoilers #fake peppino #noise update #let it be known I do like goofy non-malicious fp but I also like him being sincerely unsettling so it's a tricky balance for me

[mecchantheotaku]

In a Drowned Grey route mood. Specifically I'm thinking about how Skeptic seems to be panicking despite trying to stay calm.

This leads to a semi-silly, semi-serious headcanon: Skeptic doesn't actually know how to swim.

#slay the princess #imagine the other Voices finding out about this #either in a comedic way (he sheepishly admits that he cant swim) #or in a horrifying way (“holy shit one of us almost drowned”) #of course depending on the path taken hero and cold could already know

[padfootastic]

fully believe sirius hated the nickname Siri for a number of reasons starting with ‘it sounds ridiculous’ and ending with ‘Reg used to call him that when they were kids’ and that’s why James always went for Si instead.

except, except no one accounted for tiny bite sized harry james potter wrapping his entire hand around Sirius’ pinky, going ‘Siwi, Siwi, Siwi, pway?’ and stealing his entire heart and soul in one fell swoop.

why was he ever even opposed to it anyway?

#sirius black #harry potter #good godfather sirius black #harry is and always will be the exception t everything in sirius’ life #just as his father is and was before him #except harry is his CHILD so he gets more leeway #practically all the leeway in the world #sirius is so obsessed w his kid he will put up with anything #including previously considered cringy names #because his godson calling him siri? sweeter than the most melodious song in the world #no one else is allowed still of course but for harry? there never was a restriction in the first place #hahaha also imagining harry growing up and calling him siri in front of someone who knew sirius in school #and finding out he’s actually hated the nickname all the time #and being like ???? why would u ???? #(kudos if he finds out about the w reg association and becomes horrified) #and sirius is just. so unbothered. #like yah so? #and harry just doesn’t get it #‘harry you’re my baby of course u can call me what u want’ #harry is ofc promptly embarrassed but managed to get out a ‘even if i say ur ancient?’ #sirius immediately jinxes his hair purple #but the matter is considered resolved #harry never takes it for granted again tho #pen’s notes

[bonefall]

NEVER STOP!!! everytime I get mad over DOTC I just come onto your page and read your Gray Wing slander and immediately feel better, thanks muchly! 😌✨️

I am but a humble DOTC Slander ranger, riding across the sunlit horizon with a big iron on my hip, putting every hater's formless frustration into the words you felt but did not realize how to say ✨️

#If there's anything positive to say about it #it's that it's at least a SPECTACULAR kind of bad #It's bad in the kind of way that makes you realize what is so bad about other entries in WC #Like the rosetta stone of things wrong with WC #In no other arc is the ableism misogyny and abuse apologia SO apparent. SO plain to see #And of course your mind's immediately drawn to Clear or Tom because they're so obviously awful as characters. #But even the characters they think are GOOD and frame as RIGHTEOUS are revealing!! #Sometimes even moreso!! #though to be clear I end up biting at Gray a lot more often than Clear because he's awful in a less immediately obvious way #but I think clear is literally THE worst character they have ever put in WC. It's not a contest. It's not even a consideration in my mind. #because at the end of the day. Clear is WHY the arc is so bad. #Gray is defending him and doing a shit ton of abuse apologia and generally being insufferable #but as a tool he is being used in the exact way they mean to use him. #And his USE is to SUPPORT CLEAR. #He may not be the main POV but the arc is ABOUT Clear. It's HIS story. EVERYTHING that happens is supposed to be for HIM. #I haven't gotten to Gray's death scene in my reread yet but I should actually reblog it over here on the main when I do #Because it says it. It says it explicitly. That Gray only ever did anything because Clear pushed or bullied him to action. #And the narrative tries to frame that like a sweet and sentimental thing #But it's actually fucking horrifying. That WAS the entire series. #Clear pushing and bullying others until life was worse for everyone. And then they thank him for it. #bone babble #dotc hate

[fadedrainbowbookshelves]

I'm not saying this method of flirting isn't working, just maybe next time skip the fact he could be outrun by sharp-eyed butterflies, Frank.

#welcome home #welcome home fanart #frank frankly #eddie dear #eddie x frank #frank x eddie #Frank *desperately flirting by dropping horrifying facts about insects to someone who is wary of them* #Trying to decipher his body language to see how this conversation is going. Is this working?? #Sort of is. Eddie loves and supports Frank's interest of course and thinks he's very very smart! #Later on tho he will voice a plEASE don't tell me about how they can smell me from miles away #Frank went from finding him slightly annoying to liking being around him to having a crush pretty quickly #Eddie's a hard worker a great person to rely on and an excellent listener #Gentle and helpful in ways where Frank is more sharp. He couldn't help it really. #Unaffiliated with the incredible Welcome Home creation I'm just a fan having fun!

[tennessoui]

poolboy au obiwan not even thinking about getting a prenup is driving me so insane omg. like, on one hand its so much because he KNOWS he can make anakin more dependant on him than satine ever was, he got to anakin younger, he knows he has the boy wrapped around his little finger and he has no intention of ever loosening his grip on him... but on the other hand... anakin looks at obiwan like he hung all the stars in the sky and he tries so hard to make obiwan happy and he tries so hard to impress him and its all very juvenile, really, and yet obiwan is so fucking enamoured by it all. between all the mental games of chess and trying to worm himself into ever facet of anakin's life... obiwan just cares so much about anakin and loves him so much that maybe it's HIM who cant picture a future without anakin, doesnt let himself do so, and so refuses to even entertain a possibility that anakin might, one day, want to love someone else. and it drives me BANANAS!!!! i love it so much, you always create such juicy and unique character dynamics in every au

obiwan’s out here so convinced he has the boy wrapped out his finger that he doesn’t even notice he’s wrapped all up around anakin’s in return. a friend asks if he made the poolboy sign a prenup before marrying him and obi-wan gets so offended he kicks him off his latest movie even though the guy was the director. then he flies anakin to nice penthouse in the city getaway because that’s what they deserve. obi-wan gets drunk on champagne and tells anakin “if you ever leave me promise to take all of me with you” and anakin thinks that’s so romantic but it’s obi-wan confronting the fact that anakin could leave and then take all his money and realizing he’d be more sad about the anakin part than the money part

#asks #pool boy au #obikin #mobi-wan is horrified of course #if he can leave you haven’t trained him well enough

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

YES HIGH-SEA ADVENTURES!!! I love the idea of them coming across a kraken or something of that nature

Sally's at the front of the line like "FOR GLORY" meanwhile others are freaking out or trying to keep the ship(and themselves, but mostly Eddie) stable

Also the bit with Eddie and Frank😭<3 so good

Sally, Julie, Frank: throwing themselves at the kraken

Eddie: attempting to back them up, failing <3

Wally: getting snatched by said kraken

Barnaby: holding onto Wally's ankle with one paw & holding onto the ship w/ the other

Poppy: dragging Howdy's deliriously sick self into a corner for "safety" & screaming

#and the ship's actual crew are the ones getting shit done <3 #listen when there are three available fighters #& one things they can bring down a kraken with his bare hands #another is just wildly hacking at it & is mostly just damaging the ship #and only the third is actually doing anything but her magic is fire-based so thats horrifying on a ship #yeah. yeah #& then eddie of course also gets snatched bc he's an easy target #so now barn is holding onto both wally and eddie while biting the guardrail as an anchor #trying to yell for help lmao #wally's staff is downstairs so he cant cast & the situation isnt dire enough for him to tap into home's real power #home is patiently watching and waiting and eating popcorn #eddie's screams of fear are very entertaining <3 #wh fantasy au #rambles from the bog #of course i imagine that wally Does have to play the 'home' card #its a small-ish ship! a brig! not a lot of crew needed to operate that babe! #and since barnaby has his hands full / howdy is borderline unconscious #eddie is (affectionately said) useless / wally doesnt have his staff / etc #home is needed! #in my mind wally's boot comes loose and he goes weeeee right into the water in the kraken's grasp #and a minute later a 'second' - black - kraken (home) completely bodies the real kraken #and wally climbs over the side perfectly fine but very soaked #barnaby: ARE YOU OKAY??? WHAT HAPPENED #wally: home took care of it @:] #sally: what does that mean #wally: they took care of it @:] #everyone: *terrified yet impressed silence* #and then wally passes out bc letting home out like that takes an almost lethal amount of energy & effort <3

[dayurno]

omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....

I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like

baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW

baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?

anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him

riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians

#i know kayleighs sermons go hard kevin and riko are sitting there head bowed like yes maam….. #i havent yet decided where they both go to college in this au #but i think for one that the nest still exists and jean still gets sold to the moriyamas but it’s the main branch now #however without riko there jean’s experience in the nest is. Hard but not brutal #anyway i think riko would apply to edgar allen but he would be rejected on the account of being second branch raised by foreigners #but how horrifying to think about jean in the nest bossing riko around right. kind of a slay though #i think kevin goes to palmetto still Because he wants to reconnect with wymack and riko is very divided but ultimately chooses usc #because they’re the best and he doesn’t want to play second fiddle to kevin and his father #also i imagine his time in usc sucks a lot for the first months because it’s so different LOL #and he’s never been alone before like this with kayleigh and kevin so far out of reach #but :) hed make friends. maybe even… captain jeremy knox….. whos to say? #! #meanwhile kevin (a normal boy at this point) has to deal with the foxes being a trainwreck and the new serial killer dad recruit #he’s got a lot on his hands #ANYWAY this is entirely unrelated and indulgent but i want this kevjean to meet so bad #riko on the phone: we played against the ravens that jean moreau is a scoundrel and a monster and he almost broke my arm kevin: woaw #he’s gonna be so pissed off three years down the line when jean moreau shows up at christmas dinner with the days #you think theres any worse dynamic for jean and riko than master and slave? of course. Brothers in law #wouldnt you just kill to be a little fly buzzing around that christmas supper #asks #riko #kevin&riko

[aydascomprehendsubtext]

"Aesop does not pass the vibe check" listen I understand we are all enamored with the funky queer librarians but they are if anything more resistant to challenging the author/character relationship and definitely have more information than they're sharing about its nature. NPCs are in fact more interesting if their initial interests are not perfectly aligned with the PCs and Aesop and the librarians both check this box in the same way

#dimension 20 #neverafter #people biting off on aesops opposition to PCs is a little annoying tbh #he and the librarians are interesting because theyre from a less immediately horrifying world #but interact with a huge existential horror and in the librarians case are literally tasked with safeguarding its workings #like of COURSE that makes them secretive abt its nature and resistant to questioning it. thats COOL actually #nva #neverafter spoilers #nva spoilers

[grandwretch]

hunter Steve and vampire Eddie who somehow end up in join custody of a werewolf pack bc Hopper got made into a wolf last week when he was trying to help the orphaned witch he found on the side of the road and no one knows how he fell into a pack bond with four shithead kids least of all him

#shut up az #imagining Lucas and Dustin going home and their parents being so confused and slightly horrified #is so funny to me #also Steve and Eddie trying to teach this 45 yo man how to be a werewolf when neither of them are wolves themselves #Max Will Dustin and Lucas causing problems on purpose and Steve being like wtf Eddie it's your weekend to watch the kids #Eddie is like of course they're acting out you don't spend any time with us as a family :( #anyway he doesn't know Steve is crazy about him so he flirts to upset him and Steve is dying bc he wants to kiss so bad #Robin is trying to kill Eddie with her brain #until they become besties and Steve is like NO PUT IT BACK

[innytoes]

33 for callexie (caleb/alex/willie)? ;D

Willie had the perfect plan, okay? It didn't matter that maybe he'd taken one too many Benadryl. He was sure Tomorrow Willie would absolutely agree with his flawless decision making skills.

Like that time he painted his entire kitchen red. Like sure, the next day he'd been kind of confused, but then a week later he tripped while holding a bowl of tomato soup and you couldn't even see the stains! Benadryl Willie was brilliant.

So of course he wouldn't regret crawling across the fire escape, jimmying open the window of his very cute neighbours' place, and all but throwing himself and his laptop (very important!) through.

"Oh hey, you're having dinner, perfect!" Willie beamed at the surprised faces. The lights were all off, except for some candles on the table, which was perfect. That would mean they could see his presentation all the better.

Alex looked positively angelic in the candlelight, his eyes wide and his hair like liquid gold. The shadows made Caleb's jaw look even more perfect, and his eyes seemed to be sparkling with amusement. Probably amusement, right? Willie was a funny guy. Which was point seven!

Focus.

"Anyway, you can keep eating while you listen," he said, dragging over one of the bar stools from the kitchen to their table. He propped the laptop on top, flipping it open so they could see the first slide.

"Anyway here is my Powerpoint on why you should date me," he started, jabbing the button. The first slide wooshed away with a fun sound effect. "Number one, I am very pretty. Case in point." He clicked again, and some shirtless selfies appeared.

"What the hell is happening," Alex whispered.

"Point one b, I also have very pretty and pettable hair. And abs. Unless I just ate pizza or something." The next slide showed off both. "And a cute butt." He hadn't been able to take a proper picture of that, but he turned a little so they could see his butt anyway. "See?"

"Let him finish, darling, he obviously put work into this," Caleb whispered back.

"Thank you," Willie said, before clearing his throat. "Point Two. You both keep inviting me over to dinner and smiling at me and when we bump into each other in the hall we can talk like forever and we just seem to click and vibe.'

The last slide with his abs disappeared, replaced by one that said VIBES in comic sans. Because that was supposed to be the most easy to read font out there. Or something.

"Number three, I am an excellent boyfriend. I will remember your birthday and get you flowers except I won't because I know Alex is allergic but I'm learning how to make origami flowers except don't tell Alex that it's a surprise for his birthday which by the way is July 19th," he rambled. He clicked the button again, because he was pretty sure there were more reasons he was a good boyfriend.

"Oh, right! I make a mean breakfast in bed and also I totally believe in fair division of labour meaning I will do the dishes because I know Caleb secretly hates them because they make his hands wrinkly but also you can't just put wine glasses in the dishwasher."

"You're absolutely right," Caleb agreed.

"Don't encourage him!" Alex hissed.

"Point... um..." He clicked the power point again. "Five. Right. I am amazing in bed. Ten out of ten ex boyfriends agree. Or they would if I had ten. I have four. They're all great, except for Joey Keaton, but I never slept with him anyway because we were both twelve and he dumped me because I wouldn't give him my shiny Charizard Pokemon card."

A picture of his shiny Pokemon Card, which he still owned (suck it Joey!) popped up on the screen.

"You skipped point four," Alex pointed out, and Willie blinked. He went back a slide. Then forward again. Then back.

"Okay point four is your eyes are very pretty and I want to kiss you," he said resolutely. "Anyway point six! If you date me you will always have a tie breaker. If you can't pick a restaurant? TIE BREAKER! Not sure what movie to watch? Tie breaker! Also you need like three people to play Twister which is also very important. Point seven is I'm very funny and eight is... oh that's a picture of the raccoon who comes by the dumpster sometimes to see if there's pizza. We're friends. He can vouch for me. Point nine is I'm great in bed and also very cute."

Was it just him or was the room getting all spinny? He swayed a little, and Caleb caught his arm.

"You're strong," he said, smiling. "That's not a point, though. I mean it's a point on why I wanna date you, but I didn't get to that PowerPoint yet."

"Why don't you sit down," Caleb said, gently settling him down in his chair. Alex looked even prettier from across the table.

"You're even prettier from this angle," he told Alex.

"I- thank you?" Alex said. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy!" Willie said. Oh man, this food smelled so good. He took a bite. "I'm not done though. I still have to get to point twenty four, which is super important. I give really good hugs. You like hugs don't you?"

"Willie, did you take something?" Caleb asked gently. His hand was on Willie's back and it was warm and he leaned into it. That was nice. He was kind of cold. And shivering a little. Haha.

"No, I don't do that anymore, I have a real job now," he said. "And an apartment. And I can buy my own food and clothes and treats for Throckmorton - that's the raccoon by the way, I'll introduce you if you want."

"Did you ingest any substances?" Caleb tried again.

"I took some Benadryl," Willie said. "And some of this pasta. It's really good, have you tried it? Anyway, point... point ten. I'm a good cook. I know how to make eggs like five different ways, and that's not even including French Toast!"

"How about you come lie down on the couch for a moment?" Caleb asked.

"I feel like you’re not taking this PowerPoint presentation about why you should date me very seriously," Willie pouted. He'd worked very, very hard on it.

"How about we go sit on the couch to look at the rest, huh?" Alex said. Alex was so smart. "I'll carry your laptop, okay?"

They sat down on the couch, and Alex put the laptop on the coffee table. Willie nodded, ready to go back to his presentation, but then Caleb wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and kept his arm there, and Alex gently brushed the hair off his forehead - and rested it there for a moment, which was nice. He leaned into the touch.

"You're burning up," Alex said.

"Yeah, I'm hot, that was like point one, do I have to start over?" Willie asked. He tried to reach his laptop with his foot. He hadn't bothered to put on shoes, so his fun socks were showing. "Oh, I didn't even include that on the PowerPoint. I have lots of cool socks. See, these are of cats in space."

"They're very nice," Alex agreed, gently tipping him over into Caleb. "Why don't you tell us all about your socks? How many pairs do you have?"

"Well, I have the cats in space, and dogs in space, and raccoon socks, and skateboards, and little hotdogs, and..." Slowly, his brain started to shut down, but that was okay, because Caleb was warm and comfy, and Alex was holding his hand, and he was pretty sure the sock argument was winning them over more than point twelve (I give great head!) and thirteen (I'm great at keeping plants alive! Look at my spider plant!).

And okay, when he woke up twelve hours later feeling like death, on a couch that was more comfortable than his own bed, with two very handsome and very doting neighbours willing to feed him soup and nurse him back to health, he had to admit that maybe Benadryl Willie had been right about something.

Because he did leave that apartment with two boyfriends.

#julie and the phantoms #calebxalexxwillie #fanfic #caleb was 100% here for it until he realised Willie was Not Okay #poor Alex was just so confused because he does like Willie and they HAD had some talks about maybe seeing if he was interested #once they start dating they make sure to help Willie find a better cold medication though #I wrote a thing #yes of course they go over the powerpoint while willie is zonked out #Caleb trying not to laugh because Willie's head is in his lap #Alex is a mix of horrified and intrigued because there are more shirtless selfies further on

[ask-thearchivists]

charmer, did you ever have clothes made out of Titan babies? ^-^

The Charmer: Babies? No. But if you want to know more, the Curator makes all of our clothes, ask them.

The Curator: Wait, those boots that I made you, you gave me fur to line them with, you said you made it-

The Charmer: I did make it.

#ask blog #ask the archivists #asks are open #toh the archivists #the owl house #toh #toh oc #the archivists #id in alt text #if by 'make it' you mean 'harvested and cut them into the right patterns' of course #also of course it wasn't the babies #they're not big enough to line the boots efficiently #and their fur is too short on top of that #it was the children #Charmer would make a great lawyer the way he can just find loopholes so he doesn't have to outright lie constantly #ask to tag #because the implications are horrifying but I don't know what to tag this for

[edwardbonnets]

emily’s 1k followers celebration ➥ @engli-i-ish asked: 💌 the rowboat & horse scene (+ lucius’ reaction)

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmdedit #ofmdgifs #ofmdblog #stede bonnet #lucius spriggs #rhys darby #nathan foad #my gifs #ems1k #haha yeah rhys' acting when he finally remembers what nigel is talking about #my heart is shattering into a million pieces like the fact that you can so CLEARLY tell how upset stede is by this #and of course nigel and the other british fucks dont care #which i think says a lot when its contrasted with stedes crew who look horrified at how awful they are #and this is a crew who were literally about to mutiny against stede like five minutes before this sdfhjks #also in your ask you mention lucius' reaction being one of sympathy from a place of relatability #that lucius might have experienced something like this before and thats what warms him up to stede #hearing the shit he had to go through that is very much thinly veiled homophobia #so yeah stede may be a goofy pirate captain but lucius sees him and feels for him :') #okay enough rambling in the tags lmao thanks so much for the request!!!!! <3