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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Bad Buddy x ATOTS aka Damn You WMT

Dear @waitmyturtles, fuck you, respectfully wen-kexing-apologist. Turts, I have shit to do, I do not have time for this. But once again I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SO, FUCK ME I GUESS WE’RE DOING A FOREST EPISODE.

More specifically, we are doing an Our Skyy 2, Episode 15 Part 1/4 post, probably far earlier than I should be, and definitely instead of doing work I absolutely need to be doing. But Pat and Phupa’s interactions in this part of the episode have me thinking about Phupa and his relationship to queerness.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I had a marvelous time watching Part 1 of our latest Bad Buddy x ATOTS crossover episode. Why? Because it is absolutely incredibly fun to watch Pat personally terrorize the local gay elder.

What I have really been enjoying in these crossover episodes is watching the ways the similarities and differences in Phupa, Pat, Pran, and Tian play out. Each person spends most of the time paired with the character who play the same role in the relationship but whose personalities and approaches to their relationships are very different. Phupa is the support in his relationship with Tian, Pat is the support in his relationship with Pran, but Phupa never bends and Pat always gives in.

The thing I love about Pat is that he is unabashed in his queerness, he rolls up on to the scene and starts flirting the second he opens his mouth, and then he

Literally

Never

Stops

He annoys Pran, he tests the structural integrity of the house with Pran, sure, but he also wakes up next to Phupa and then proceeds to never let Phupa forget that a) he would and b) that they thought they might have.

He rolls up on the scene as Phupa and his coworker are getting ready to head into the forest, and he starts talking openly and loudly about Phupa’s boyfriend, and the relationship problems they are having.

Phupa is less than amused.

Phupa does not want Pat coming with him, Pat sneaks into the back of the truck, Phupa begrudgingly allows Pat to come with him and Pat says “you’re the cutest”

Phupa is less than amused.

I’m gonna skip ahead a little bit and then regress if that is okay with everyone, after Phupa puts bandaid’s on Pat says yet again “what a cute print, Chief”, “you have a cute side, Chief”

“No wonder teacher is head over heels for you,”

Here Pat is, one half of the first queer couple to interact with Phupa and Tian in god knows how long or possibly ever, talking casually, happily, loudly, and openly about Phupa’s relationship with Tian and Tian’s feelings for Phupa. Reaffirming to Phupa in a way that it is obvious that Tian is in love with him.

And still Phupa is not having it.

As they continue their walk, Pat starts smelling the trees and Phupa is like oh jesus fucking christ what the hell are you doing you are making my life a living hell- “What are you doing?”

And in response, Pat is very open and sappy about Pran.

gif from @liyazaki

“Pran smells so good, if he is nearby, I can find him,” and Phupa is flabbergasted. He just stands there for a second, looking Pat up and down like “okay, seriously…what the fuck?” and he is so obvious about it in the way he looks at Pat and in the way he walks away, that Pat is able to tell immediately that Phupa is, once again, not vibing with Pat’s casual references to his queerness, or overt and honest love and admission of intimacy with his partner. Pat knows Pran’s scent so well that he is confident he could pick it up in the middle of the forest. That suggests a level of familiarity with a body that would traditionally be considered uncouth, if you were polite, and doubly so if you are queer.

gif from @liyazaki

When Phupa starts walking like he’s over the conversation, Pat’s easy smile shifts to confusion “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body before?”

(Translation: Aren’t you also so in love with your partner, and aren’t you so intimate with your partner that you could recognize his scent anywhere you went? Looking at you watermelon soap sponsorship…looking at you tea bag smell pouch…)

And it’s the inclusion of the word body that really strikes me here, because to say “what? Haven’t you smelled Teacher before?” evokes a different relationship than “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body?” does.

“That’s too bad” Pat says, and leans suggestively close to Phupa. Like a cat toying with a mouse. Pat likes needling at Phupa’s discomfort around explicit references to Pat and Pran’s sex life. And while we know Phupa has most certainly smelled Tian’s body before, Phupa SPINS around, has this brief moment of absolute wide eye about being so blatantly asked a question that alludes to his physical relationship to and with Tian, looks Pat dead in the eye and says “I’m not a pervert like you,”

gif from @liyazaki

Harsh words. Incredibly harsh words, especially because of the connotations of queerness with perversion, especially because iirc from the KinnPorsche LGBTQ+ Facts special on IQIYI, pervert is often an insult used in Thailand for queer people. Phupa is uncomfortable with Pat’s open conversation about his queer relationship, about his queer intimacy and he chooses to meet Pat with homophobia in the way of a slur.

But Pat is having fun, and I honestly believe he expects that kind of reaction. Pat and Pran were awkward witnesses to Tian and Phupa’s little domestic about watching him shower and looking lovingly into their eyes, but Phupa is stiff the whole time, he is aware that he is engaging in that conversation while other people are present, and he can’t take it and he literally flees. And some of that is because he is getting riled up about their fight, but we see in part 2 of this episode that when Phupa is actually angry with Tian about something, he has no problem standing up and planting his feet to confront Tian about it.

Anyway, Pat is having fun, and Pat wants to test Phupa and so, completely unphased he starts talking about how Tian smells, as if he is familiar. He is like "my boyfriend smells soooo good, do you smell your boyfriend's body? Your boyfriend smells good" and it’s a direct display of Pat's comfortability with his partner, their closeness, and their level of intimacy.

“Teacher Tian smells so good” Pat says with the world’s widest grin

“How do you know that?” Phupa asks almost challenging

“I thought you said you’d never smelled him”

gif from @liyazaki

Caught ya. Phupa has indirectly admitted to intimacy. Pat has successfully engaged Phupa in a conversation that is completely about Phupa’s queerness.

And as Part 2 goes on, we are made more and more aware of how little outward public affection Phupa and Tian engage in. If Phupa and Tian touch around other people, there has to be a legitimate reason to do so (Tian fainted, Tian fainted again, Tian fainted a third time, Tian is drunk, Phupa is drunk, etc.). In this episode, Tian is weak and almost collapses in to Phupa’s arms because he exerted himself too much with his heart. Phupa’s hand is on Tian’s back and then Tian is away from him and standing upright, and when Phupa, Tian, Pat, and Pran exit the forest and enter the clearing of the safe house.

Pat is using Pran as a crutch, and Phupa and Tian have placed a child in between them. They are not touching, they aren’t even standing all that close to each other. Phupa is in ranger mode, sure, but he’s not really in front of people he has to impress, he doesn’t have to be completely professional and on guard when they are in the shack together. Especially when his partner with a body that is currently trying to reject his heart, is sitting there looking on the verge of a heart attack.

Phupa is making direct eye contact with Tian here, he is worried about Tian here, his focus is on Tian here, and yet he does not offer any physical comfort. No reassuring touch, no forehead kiss, hell, not even a hand on the back of his head to check for fever. He’s focused on getting the radio working, which is incredibly important in case there is a medical emergency, but he does not spare a second to physically ground him and Tian. He can only look from a distance. Because there are other people around, there is a child around. Phupa can’t be seen engaging in homosexual softness, Phupa has to be seen as a forest ranger, doing his job, his actual job that involves rescuing his stubborn dumbass boyfriend from yet again getting lost in the forest, but does not involve him being in love.

Again, Phupa truly has no one here he needs to impress, he’s in a room with a child, his boyfriend, and a couple of nuisances that have shown him absolutely zero respect since the moment they waltzed in to his neck of the woods.

At dinner even, after things have settled down, Phupa still cannot bring himself close to Tian in front of prying eyes.

Pat and Pran? Literally sitting side by side, knees touching. They are as close to each other as they possibly can be without literally sitting in each other’s laps.

Here is a close up of Pat and Pran literally making physical contact with each other at the knee and at the elbow.

And what Phupa and Tian do not know, is that Pat and Pran can't be outwardly and openly affectionate to one another in public when they are at school and so they make up for it by being disgusting when they aren't in school. Pat and Pran have to keep up a pretense, and its a tragic undertone to their ability to diffuse the brewing Tian and Phupa fight by looking at each other, nodding, and then improvising a fight realistic enough to get Phupa and Tian to pull them apart.

Because Pat and Pran’s relationship at home is a metaphor for external homophobia, because they are so used to it by now, the having to hide, to pretend they don’t like each other, to pretend they are mad, to pretend they aren’t in love, that they can just ease right in to staged fights at the drop of a fucking hat. But even in their fake fight they wind up pressed up against each other.

(hehe, screen shot funny, look at Phupa, he zoomin’)

Because for so long the only way they could have physical contact in public was by fighting, was by beating each other up, was by pushing or pulling each other away from a fight. Pat and Pran understand that Tian and Phupa are having a fight that they also once had, but they can also see the parts underneath it, the parts that make Phupa ask why the emphasis on him in Tian’s story is about Phupa being in love with Tian rather than his work.

Pat is simultaneously taking the opportunity of being hours and hours away from home, from where he has to hide his relationship, to be as openly and obviously in love with Pran as he has always been and is telling Phupa he is safe to be gay around. That he and Pran are safe people to be gay around, are safe people for him to be openly affectionate with his boyfriend around.

And that stems from the parts of Pat and Phupa that are wildly different.

Like, it is very very notable that Pat confesses his feelings for Pran practically as soon as he realizes that he has feelings for him and initiates the rooftop kiss which they share before they are even together, and then they have a bunch of little kisses, and they sneak as many touches as they can, and they make out multiple times in the show

And Phupa and Tian have…a single forehead kiss and then one kiss, at the top of a mountain, where no one would ever be able to see them after their story is complete.

In last week’s crossover episode, the level of intimacy that Phupa engages in with Tian is called out, even by Aof himself with the roleplaying scene between Pat and Pran where they pretend to be Phupa and Tian putting up a mosquito net and conclude that they absolutely must have kissed then.

But we know they didn’t. We know how painstakingly long it takes for Phupa and Tian to reach that level of intimacy with one another.

I'm even thinking backstory-wise, what is forest ranger training like? Is it part of the military? Did Phupa's gay ass have to enlist in a presumably male dominated field and like, go to training, and be around a bunch of guys, and make sure they didn't suspect he was gay?

I’m thinking about the moments in last week’s episode where it seemed like things were going better between Phupa and Tian, and it was always when Phupa was physically affectionate with Tian, putting his arm around him and not letting him go, when they were at karaoke, and when they were drunkenly stumbling home together, again locked in eachother’s embrace, where anyone could see them.

To regress as I promised back to the leech scene I am struck by what the approach to removing the leeches says about Pat and Phupa respectively.

Pat rips the leech off of him and Phupa takes time to put a lighter to them and pluck them off in a way that does not hurt Pat

Pat rips the leech off and bleeding for it, hurting himself in the process, because he is impulsive and impatient, Pat bleeds emotion, he's practically incapable of hiding what he's feeling, and he must obey his emotions before all else. Therefore, in Bad Buddy Episode 5, when he realizes he has feelings for Pran, Pat immediately has to talk to Pran about his feelings, immediately leans in to the emotion he is feeling in the present moment, and initiates a kiss. A kiss that leaves him feeling blissful, and that leaves him hurt because Pran walks away, because Pran has known forever how much he likes Pat, because Pat has only just figured out his feelings, he hasn’t had to sit with them for long, and yet that kiss is an equally strong release for both of them. When Phupa removes the leech from Pat’s leg he is methodical and patient, he tries to minimize the wound, it takes longer but it has the same result which is why it takes so damn long for him and Tian to get together. When I watches ATOTS and they touched pinkies under that blanket and I went "ah yes! This is the part where you start making out and fucking cause they are adults who have maybe been in a relationship before and who have both been obviously painfully aware of their feelings for eachother since the moment they laid eye on each other"...and then they don’t. Phupa waits, and waits, and waits.

I think the fundamental thing that I see replaying in this episode especially, and with Pat and Phupa’s interactions especially is the elder versus younger queer mentality we got in Moonlight Chicken, with very different characters from Jim and Li Ming, but following a similar pattern of restraint and time versus just jumping right in.

And it’s also why I think the conversation between Pran and Phupa is so important:

gifs by @nanons

Pat and Pran’s need to keep their relationship secret because of their family’s, and because of Pran’s mom specifically is a metaphor for external homophobia. Pat and Pran are extremely comfortable in their sexuality, very open in their love for one another when they are amongst other queer people, or amongst allies, when they are away from their hometown or when they are in the privacy of their homes.

There are a lot of different pieces in play around Phupa and Tian’s relationship, but there is ultimately a metaphor at the most or a blatant sense at the least of internal homophobia on the part of Phupa.

Pat has chosen to stay “in the closet” in order to be with Pran. In a convo with @shortpplfedup about this, Nini said it the most accurate and heart wrenching line: “It's honestly that Pran can't really ever compare to Pat's sacrifice here, and he KNOWS it,”

Similarly, Phupa believes that Tian has made a sacrifice to be with him, and he knows it. Which is why he can’t bring himself to go to Tian’s birthday, because Tian has left before, because he is scared every time Tian goes that he will realize that Phupa isn’t enough. Because Phupa is afraid of being seen as Tian’s partner. Because Phupa is really only capable of being physically affectionate behind closed doors. When they are completely alone. Cause even in the camp, when the child is sleeping and Pat and Pran are off literally fucking in the tent minding their own goddamn business, Phupa cannot bring himself to touch Tian.

They’re sharing place but not space, or whatever it was that Ayan said to Akk in their Our Skyy 2 episodes. When Phupa gives Tian his medicine, at most their fingers brush, they don’t sit down together, they don’t ground themselves with touch. They share this place, but they do not encroach on each other’s personal space…

…until Phupa falls asleep

gif by @earthpirapat

At which point Tian gets up, and places his blanket on him, and physical touches his arm, his shoulder, etc. as he is adjusting the blanket for him.

Tian initiates the touch, Tian stayed in the village with him, Tian is sacrificing his health to be here with Phupa. Phupa has spent 90% of his time alone with the bouncing ball of sunshine that is Pat, and 5% of his time with the chaotic homosexual energy of Pat and Pran together, and to be real, as much as we know about Pat and Pran’s relationship, and as much depth as we are able to pull from these specific characters interacting in the way they do, Phupa has no idea what Pat and Pran have been through to be where they are.

To anyone who does not know Pat and Pran’s story, they seem like nothing more than two horny young adults in love, who feel no need to hide themselves and their queerness away, that have never had a struggle in their life, and do not understand the trials and tribulations of navigating an older queer relationship, who will last the length of a honeymoon period and then disappear at the first sign of real conflict. Thus, I think Phupa grossly underestimates the company he is currently keeping.

So I think, personally, Phupa is kinda of struck by the sudden and unexpected depth that comes from Pran. That Pran is able to identify and then absolutely hone in and strike at the exact things that Phupa is struggling with. As much as Pat has both relished in the freedom he has to be disgustingly in love with his boyfriend in the woods, and as much as Pat has tried to make himself an obviously safe person to be openly gay around, Phupa is incapable of understanding what he can learn from Pat and Pran’s relationship until he realizes these boys have a lot more in common with him than he thought, and that their relationship and their relationship to one another is more complex and therefore more similar to him and Tian’s situation than he would like.

Pran and Phupa carry the weight of feeling like nothing they do will ever compare to the sacrifices their partner has made to be with them. I didn’t get much in to Pat and Tian here, but their interaction makes it clear that they both carry the weight of feeling like their partner does not need them.

Phupa has literally saved Tian’s life on numerous occasions, Tian is chronically ill, Tian has limitations. Phupa is a forest ranger, who is a foundation in his community, who is skilled and competent, and fiercely independent. Pat is disorganized, and impulsive, his father is the reason he and Pran can’t be open about their relationship, he is the reason Pran got sent away.

We get a fun reversal with dynamics in these Bad Buddy x ATOTS episodes because Tian and Phupa are older, but Pat and Pran have an entire lifetime of navigating and overcoming conflict under their belt. Pat and Pran have already weathered the storm of the fight that Tian and Phupa are having. They have already settled in to who they are, but Pat and Pran (Pran especially) are able to see the ways that always giving in and never backing down wears on a person. Pran learns from seeing the pain that Tian is in that being uncompromising might cause fractures in their relationship in the future.

Tian and Phupa (Phupa especially) are learning how to resolve their conflicts. Pran, who is holding on to Tian and Phupa’s story so tightly because it is shared, because it is open, because anyone who wants to can know about it, pushes Phupa, who cannot cope with being portrayed as being in love with Tian, to read all of the diary Tian published online. Pran pushes Phupa to push through the emotional blocks, to push past his initial concerns, and to assume Tian wrote and published this story with both an understanding of who is partner is and what Phupa is comfortable with, and with no intention of hurting anybody.

Anyway, all of this to say, that this episode has really made me analyze Phupa with an internalized homophobia lens, and though one can never trust a P’Aof trailer, it has left me with two impressions.

On the subject of Phupa and internalized homophobia, and needing to move past that (and more) in order for his relationship with Tian to survive this fight, @shortpplfedup said it best:

“Now I'm thinking about one moment from the preview (but just a moment!) where Phupha tells Tian he's not gonna sneak to look at him, he's gonna OPENLY look at him”

And cause it seems like Phupa learned some things from the Bothersome Boys:

Case in point:

Here's multiple hours of my life I will never get back, at least I had fun! Time to go do the work I was supposed to be doing tonight :p

That's all folks!

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bad268 · 9 months

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Can I get something small and smutty-ish (if you do it, if not just suggestive or fluffy) for Grizzy, Pezzy, Droid, and Puffer falling for the reader and realizing it/confessing after too many drinks? Reader obviously feels the same. Separate or all together is good :)

Definitely not requesting this after reading your Droid fiction lol

If you don't wanna do all of them, just do Puffer pls and thanks

Drunk in Love (Frog Boys X Reader (Separate))

[Blank] in Love Pt 1

Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous

Requested: Clearly (Short but I did write all four :))

Warnings: Alcohol

Pronouns: They/them

W.C. 732 (about 180 words each)

Summary: Everyone gets drunk and everyone confesses.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

Puffer

The one night I let my friends convince me to go to the bar is the same night they all get plastered. I didn’t. I am the parent friend of the group, so I was the designated driver for the night. I had one drink as soon as we got here, but that was my limit.

I was sitting at a hightop, nursing a water as I watched the guys dancing. When Droid noticed I was watching them, he jokingly grinded on Puffer.

“Aye woah!” Puffer shouted. Even I could hear it clearly from my spot, causing me to choke on my water. He must have said something to Droid because he immediately walked, or stumbled, over to the table I was at. “I am drunk.”

“Oh really?” I asked sarcastically as he leaned onto my shoulder, so I wrapped my arms around him. “I couldn’t tell.”

“Can I be real, real quick?” He asked, hiding his face in my neck. I nodded, wanting to know what nonsense came from him. “I’m in love with you.”

“Yup, you are definitely drunk.”

Pezzy

“We’ve got Y/Username here and we’re gonna drink and do unban appeals,” Pezzy said after he started up the stream.

“We’re already two to three drinks deep, so this should be interesting,” I laughed.

“Alright, the first one just kept repeating, ‘your s/o’s hot. Can I get their number?’ This was August 9th, the day we did that IRL Mario Kart stream. Your computer was down,” Pezzy laughed but it did not sound like his normal laugh. Almost like he was forcing it. “ But uh, no you can’t get their number.”

“Also, I’m just his roommate,” I smiled at the camera, seeing Pezzy still

“Not yet,” Pezzy muttered after he downed the last of his beer.

“Take me on a bike ride when we’re sober, and we’ll see,” I said with an eye roll, thinking the confession was a joke.

“Tomorrow morning work for you?”

“Yeah,” I responded in shock at how quickly he answered. Then, I leaned closer to my microphone, whispering about Pezzy as if he wasn’t right next to me, “Guys, I’m gonna be a backpack.”

Droid

“On the road again,” Puffer sang as we played the truck simulator. “Just cruisin’ with my three gay lovers on the road again!”

“What the fuck?�� Droid shouted in response as everyone else made similar oppositions. “I would not bottom for you, Puffer.”

“You say that like you’d be willing to bottom someone in this call, Droid,” I laughed as I took a drink of my beer, accidentally flipping my truck in the process.

“I’d bottom for you any day,” He replied as seriously as a drunk man could. “Name a time and a place. I’ll be there.”

“This just got super sexual super quick,” Pezzy laughed.

“Tomorrow night, my place,” I challenged.

“You’re on,” Droid accepted.

“I do not need to be listening to this,” Grizzy groaned. “And the fans. Did you forget y’all are streaming?!”

“Y’all joke about sucking dick live,” I pointed out. “Why can't I joke about topping Droid?”

“Oh, you were joking? I was dead serious,” Droid responded, pulling up my stream and seeing my blushing face.

“If you remember in the morning, text me.”

Grizzy

It was Grizzy’s 21st birthday, and we had just gotten back to his house after dinner. The guys decided that they wanted to stream Mario Party, and since it was only a four-person game, I decided to sit off-camera and drink with Grizzy.

“If you win I’ll give you something, birthday boy,” I laughed, downing my fourth drink of the night.

“Anything? Really?” Grizzy asked quickly, also finishing his drink. I nodded as I reached behind to get us each a new drink. He took a second to think about what he wanted before lighting up, “What about a kiss?”

“If you're serious, I’ll give you a kiss if you win,” I laughed at his answer as I also heard the boys in the call laughing at Grizzy’s rizz.

“Everyone throw, so I can win and I’ll give you 10 gifted!” He shouted into the microphone as Puffer started the lobby.

In all honestly, I didn’t think he would win, nor did I think he would remember this in the morning. It made me fill with butterflies at his confession. I just wish he was sober.

Next Part ->

~~~~~

#bigpuffer x reader #pezzy x reader #elastic droid x reader #grizzy x reader #big puffer x reader #elasticdroid x reader #big puffer #bigpuffer #pezzy #elastic droid #elasticdroid #grizzy #bad268 #ship268 #thing268 #bad268 [blank] in love

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princess0fmirkwood20 · 1 year

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This is what I want to happen.

Colin comes out to the team (hopefully by his own accord but who knows) and they’re supportive. Sam, Dani, and Moe literally don’t have a bad bone in their body (unless it comes to protecting people they care about as we’ve seen), Jan doesn’t give a shit (he’s like “and you had to stop training to say this why?”), Jamie relates (you’re gonna look at that man and tell me he’s straight?), the others will be supportive, but Isaac will be hesitant. I don’t think he will outright say anything to Colin but he will distance himself because he needs some time alone to readjust the way he thinks.

I think that in the next match they play after that, some player from the other team will say some homophobic shit to Colin (whether they know or not) and Isaac will LOSE IT and just punch him in the face, getting a red card and benched (which is why we see Sam with the captain band on his arm) for a few games.

I think Colin’s friendship with Isaac will be so important to this storyline because on one hand you have a closeted gay man who plays a professional sport who wants to trust his best friend but is scared he’ll hate him, and on the other hand we have a man who grew up in this “toxic sport culture” and needs time to leave it. I think that Isaac will take longer than everyone else to accept it, but in the end that is his best friend and nothing about him has changed, he was just brave enough to tell them who he really is.

While I would love for everyone to just accept him immediately, there are still those homophobic thoughts that many athletes are taught to think their entire lives. I think it is important to show that those thoughts can be unlearned.

I actually take back what I said earlier about everyone immediately accepting Colin, I actually want Isaac to be hesitant. I want to see him realize that there is absolutely nothing different about his best friend and that HE is the one who needs to change.

Anyway that’s my rant.

#ted lasso #colin hughes #gay #football #trent crimm #afc richmond #jamie tartt #isaac mcadoo #Jan Maas #moe bumbercatch #sam obisanya #dani rojas #There is no way Jamie Tartt is a straight man

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serenefreakgeekao3 · 2 months

Text

Ambivalent Days

Jim Halpert x Trans Man Reader (PART TWO) Can be read alone, but I do reference part one, so read that HERE if you want to be caught up!

Summary: You’ve finally come out as trans to the entire office. It’s gone a lot better than expected. But now you’re faced with a serious problem- or rather, a serious crush. On none other than Jim Halpert, leading supporter of your transitions and quickly becoming your best friend in the office. But are you willing to risk that friendship just for some silly little feelings?

Tags: FtM!reader, Gay!Jim (for narrative reasons, I think i wanted him to be bi in the first part but switched it around, whatever), implied gay!reader (all i said was ‘not straight’), trans supporter Dwight, peacekeeper!Pam, supportive!Kelly Kapoor, bisexual!Kelly, drinking in moderation, happy ending Warnings: Michael being absolutely ridiculous and attention-hungry to the point that he does bad things (so, like, normal episode?), some general swearing

A/N: This has been requested so many times, both in asks and requests. I’ll try my best to tag everyone who asked for this, sorry if i forgot any! I was excited to write this because I loved the first part, but figuring out where to start was the trickiest part. I hope you all enjoy! (this entire fic ended up just writing itself once i got going. I had no clue what i was gonna do until it happened so… enjoy lol)

Life was great, working as a Customer Service representative for Dunder Mifflin paper company. Wow, you never thought you’d say such a thing, but it really has become something appealing, something that had you smiling and willing to come to work every single day. Of course, it had its own ups and downs, times when you felt overwhelmed or frustrated at certain people. You still ended up enjoying the majority of the day, and sometimes the rough days turned out to end up better than the rest.

It had absolutely, wholeheartedly nothing to do with James Duncan Halpert, otherwise known to his work colleagues as ‘Jim.’ You continued to lie to yourself, nodding along to this thought process on your drive to work. It was rainy, just like most days, and you were bored out of your mind waiting in the traffic. You just enjoyed going to work, because… Because of all of your friends, that’s why! Sure, that might include Jim, but that also included Pam, and Oscar, and god forbid, even Dwight. He’s certainly grown on you over time, having completely accepted your identity, even defending you against anyone who said anything. You couldn’t be sure, but you suspected that Dwight had even lost a customer through those actions- but when Mr Dellicker had called for customer support and you had answered the phone, saying his name out loud, Kelly had rushed around the divider and ripped the phone from your hand, immediately transferring it to her own phone. You tried to listen in, curious why this was so important to her, but you kept hearing her say the same thing over and over.

“Thank you for your consideration, but we no longer want your business with us. I completely understand that you think so, but we no longer want your business with us. While that may or may not be true, this whole conversation is futile considering we no longer want your business with us.”

Mr Dellicker had become a hushed topic around you, but you had managed to catch a private whisper among your friends one day when he was brought up again. They’d ask Kelly if he had called yet, and she assured the situation was handled. Pam had whispered, “I can’t believe some people’s views on trans people. It makes no sense.” So, while it wasn’t likely due to you specifically, you were almost sure that you were the only trans person they knew. If they were defending trans people, they were defending you alongside it all.

You pulled into the parking lot finally, shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. Mr Dellicker’s whole deal had been a problem a month ago and was no longer an issue. You shouldn’t dwell on those thoughts, you weren’t likely to ever have to worry about it again. You managed to snag a semi-decent parking space. It was only the second from the front, but it happened to be right next to Michael’s own car, and as you placed your car into park, you glanced over to notice he was still sitting there. You tilted your head in confusion, watching for a moment.

You couldn’t tell if he was psyching himself up, or singing along to one of his weird songs. He seemed ready to open the door, then leaned back once more without actually doing it. He lowered the visor on his car, flipping open the little door to reveal his mirror and looking at himself in it. He continued, probably, speaking to himself, and you just shook your head and decided to leave it be. You reached for your suitcase and umbrella, then began making your way inside.

You were stuffing your umbrella into the little holder by the door after you entered the office, taking off your long overcoat and hanging it on the coat rack by Pam’s desk. She smiled, asking about what you did over the weekend, and you answered that you didn’t really do much besides binge the next season of your current obsession. You agreed to tell her about it later, moving toward the break room for your normal cup of tea. You pat Jim on the shoulder on the way, and he reaches up quickly to touch your hand before you slip by. It causes a smile to cross your face as you continue on your path, a happy feeling welling up inside.

“I. Am a girl.” You spin around quickly, eyes widening in fright. There stood Michael Scott, wearing a short, pleated pink skirt with his normal yellow button-down dress shirt, as well as a crooked ginger wig that he had most definitely not been wearing in his car. The room falls completely quiet, and you hear two people put their calls on hold. Jim stands, and you can’t see his face from this perspective, but you hear a hardness in his voice.

“Michael, this is not a funny joke-”

“It’s not a joke!” Michael yells out, crossing his arms. He purses his lips before speaking again in a higher tone. “I’m a girl, and so I decided to say it. That I am.” He looked around the room as if expecting something, but no one moved a muscle. Pam broke the silence, clearing her throat and talking in a tone that was both cautious and unbelieving.

“Alright, so what would you like us to call you, then?” Michael sputtered at the question, throwing his hands outward and looking around the room again. His eyes settle on me, and Jim sidesteps to block off his vision. You can no longer see Michael, but the image of him has burned into your mind anyway. You could feel yourself panicking, your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest. This had to be a prank right? He was making fun of you? Now? After all this time?

“What do you mean- Y/N didn’t change his name when he came out!”

“This has nothing to do with Y/N,” Jim quickly tries to interrupt him after hearing your name, but you heard his sentence all the same. Jim walked closer to Michael, leaning down to whisper, but even you could still hear his words in the silence your boss caused. “How about we talk this out privately and continue this announcement later?”

“But-”

“I think that’s a fantastic idea, Jim,” Pam calls out quickly, circling her desk and corralling Michael into his office. He was putting up a fight, but not much of one. Jim followed closely behind, closing the door behind him. You could see multiple faces turn to look at you- as their current entertainment had been dragged away- out of the corner of your eye, but you were still there, shell-shocked. Before you realized what you were doing, you were standing directly outside Michael’s office door, peeking around the side to look in through the window. You could hear them talking still, considering the rest of the office was waiting to see what you would do.

“No, no, no!” Michael yelled out, plopping down into his seat. “I’m serious about this you guys!”

“Alright, let’s assume you are,” Pam begins, but Jim looks at her with an aggravated look.

“Pam-”

“Let’s assume you are,” Pam repeats, pushing Jim away and leaning closer to Michael. “How did you come to this decision?”

“I-” Michael hesitates, looking at his computer, then back to Pam. “Well, I really like girls a lot.”

“Sure, sure, but sexuality and gender are different.”

“I know that, Pam! God!” Michael starts flipping random pens on his desk, trying to distract himself. “I just like their clothes a lot.”

“You like to wear the clothes, or see them on women?”

“See them-” He stops, looking up to her. “I mean, wear them! Yeah, that’s what it is!” His stuttering and determination caused Jim to huff in a humourless laugh, no longer just standing by.

“What’s really going on here Michael?”

“And,” Michael begins, ignoring Jim’s question, “What was that question about what I wanted to be called? Y/N didn’t change his name when he came out?”

“Sure,” Pam agrees, trying to maintain the peace, “But Michael isn’t a very feminine name. Doesn’t that make you feel a little, I don’t know, dysphoric?”

“What does that word mean?” Michael asks, causing Jim to huff again, moving forward to slam his hands onto the table.

“What is really going on here, Michael?”

“Fine!” Michael yelled out, throwing up his hands, his fake hair swinging around wildly. “I don’t think I’m a girl! I don’t like wearing dresses or skirts or-” He spits, swatting away the fake hair that had managed to catch itself in his mouth, “And I’m so uncomfortable in this,” He pulls the wig off finally, throwing it onto the ground. He stands next, reaching for the skirt he was wearing, “Or this-”

“No, no, no!” Pam calls out quickly, keeping him from ripping the skirt off in front of them. “I’ll fetch you your spare pair of pants here soon, it’s at the desk. Just,” She sighs, shaking her head, “What could’ve possibly made you think this was a good idea, Michael?”

“Well!” Michael huffs, pouting as he sits back down. “Y/N got all sorts of attention when he came out. He became cool, and popular, and now I’m not even allowed to make jokes about him! Everyone hates me now, he took my thunder!”

“You can still make jokes about him,” Pam continues cautiously, raising her hands up in a plea to calm him down. “Just, not about the fact that he’s trans.”

“My thunder Pam!”

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Jim begins, reaching forward and grabbing hold of Michael’s shirt. “That stunt you pulled was mean-spirited and heinous. Do you have any idea how you could’ve made Y/N feel? How hard it was for him, not only to accept himself for who he is but to become confident enough in himself to come out to the entire office? Do you realize how much you probably just put him back?” Michael’s face was terrified, and Pam was too stunned at this action to do anything at first. By the time Jim was done talking, she reached forward quickly and pulled him back.

“Jim, that’s unnecessary.”

“I feel it was completely necessary, Pam.”

“He doesn’t realize what he’s doing, he just wants attention.”

“He gets attention every single day Pam! He demands it, hell, he goes out into the office and-”

“Jim,” Pam interrupts, nodding toward Michael. You watch Michael visibly sniff, raising a hand to rub at his nose.

“No, no, he’s right. I’m a nuisance, everyone hates me.”

“No one hates you, Michael,” Pam starts, and Jim scoffs.

“You’re babying him.” She shoots him a threatening look, and he just shakes his head and crosses his arms. Pam moves closer to the desk, looking down at Michael.

“Hey,” When Michael looks up, his eyes are red and glossy. “What you did just now, was that a good idea?”

“No,” He whines out, drawing out the vowel.

“Good, that’s the correct answer. And why was it a bad idea, Michael?” He huffs again, moving to play with a different toy on his desk and avoiding her eyes.

“Because I lied for attention.”

“And?”

“Because I probably made Y/N feel bad. And Jim.”

“So what are you going to do?” Pam asks, and you can’t see her expression but Michael finally meets her eyes and breathes in a deep breath.

“I’m going to tell everyone that it was a horrible prank and that I’m sorry.”

Even Jim startles at this, both Pam and Jim- even you, yourself- having never actually heard Michael apologize for one of his many failed pranks or skits. Pam straightens up, glancing quickly at Jim before looking back. Her voice was full of surprise as she nods, “That’s right. That’s completely right, actually. Good job Michael.” You could see him smile before looking down at his lap, then back up at Pam.

“Can I do it after I change?”

“Of course,” Pam moves quickly to the door, and you don’t think fast enough to move out of the way. The door swings open wide and you are revealed to be standing there, right outside of it. All three occupants turn to look at you with varying expressions, but they all share a similar surprise. You swallow hard, locking your eyes with Michael. You are about to speak but can feel eyes digging into your back, so you take a few steps into the office, past your two friends.

“What you did just now,” You begin, sucking in another deep breath, “Was horrifying- for everyone involved. I’m sure we want to see you in a skirt just as much as you want to be in one.” You lean forward onto the desk, watching Michael shrink away from you. “But let me ask you, how does it feel to wear that skirt?”

“What?” He looks startled at the question, looking to Jim and Pam for help. None arrived for him.

“How does it feel, wearing that skirt? Why aren’t you wearing a blouse with it? Couldn’t find one that fit, or did it feel too uncomfortable? What about the hair?” You nod down to wear the wig laid on the ground. “Was it annoying? Kept getting caught in your mouth, right? Drooped in front of your face, obscuring your vision?” You leaned forward, your breath coming out harsher. “Imagine you had breasts attached to you- and push past your sexuality. Imagine you had them and they couldn’t be removed.” You whisper this last part, your own eyes tearing up. “How would you feel?’

You hear Jim say your name softly behind you, realizing what you were referencing. Michael shook his head for a few seconds before he stopped, widening his eyes. You nod, continuing your speech. “Yeah, exactly.” You lean back, picking your hands off of his desk to rest by your side. “That’s how I feel every single day. Or, did. Until I came out.” You take a deep breath, steadying yourself. “I became confident because I was finally comfortable with who I was. I’m sorry if you can’t find that confidence in yourself. But don’t try to steal mine. Don’t make a mockery of my struggles.” You turn, heading toward the door, toward your desk- to anywhere but here. But Michael’s voice stops you before you’re able to leave.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You turn, looking into his eyes. He seemed genuine, but you knew he didn’t really understand.

“Think about why you are. Then get back to me.”

You pushed your way past Pam, who stood in the doorway with shock and pain written across her face, and ignored Jim’s call of your name as you kept going. You wanted away from these stares, this was not what you meant by loving this damned office. You continued past the breakroom, ignoring your daily cup of tea. You enter into your side of the annexe, seeing Kelly on the phone and hearing a whispered but high-pitched, “What? No! He didn’t?” Before she suddenly looks up, widens her eyes, and quickly says, “Gotta go,” Before slamming the phone down. You sigh and walk around the divider, taking your seat.

Kelly has more social sense than most people in the office, you’ve come to realize. It was why she had applied for customer service- unlike you, who had just taken up an ad from the newspaper. So, she knew better than to try to ask you what happened. She remained quiet on her side of the partition, something that was extremely odd, and it almost felt like you were in your own little world, in your tiny corner. Your desk was pressed against two walls, and the partition blocked the other two sides except for the small gap for your entrance. The partition walls weren’t very high, but sitting down they reached above your head. You felt isolated- something you first loved, then hated, and now feel grateful for once again. It gives you time and privacy to calm down.

After some time, you hear a throat clear nearby, and Kelly’s chair roll as she likely stands to leave. You look up at the top of your divider, waiting for a face to come into view. Luckily, it’s Jim’s face. He smiles softly at you, and you can tell he’s trying to keep the pity from his face, but it's not working very well.

“You didn’t make your tea?” He raises a cup- your favourite cup, no less, that no one else has used since your incident with Dwight- and offers it to you. “I figured I’d make you some. Can’t go a day without your tea, right?” You can tell he was trying, and it warmed something inside of you. Trying for a smile, you reach out to take the cup, taking a sip. It was made perfectly.

“I’m sorry about that,” You begin, sighing and placing the cup aside. “I kinda went a little overboard, didn’t I?”

“Not at all,” Jim rushes to comfort you, circling the divider completely to be inside your little cube. He rests himself against your desk, looking down at you with earnest eyes. “If anyone was overboard, it was Michael.” You just shrug, looking away.

“I mean, what did I expect, really? Everyone in the office has been so good about the whole thing. Ever since I’ve come out, it's been nothing but positivity.” You bite your lip, shrugging. “This office isn’t exactly a positivity-friendly environment.”

“You being trans should have no bearing on your workplace,” Jim insists, leaning forward toward you. “I know the world is fucked, but I want to make sure that at least your world isn’t.” You huff a laugh, shaking your head.

“Oh, c’mon Jim. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” You look up, meeting his eyes with a self-deprecating smile. “It’s not like it's because of you that all of this ended up so easy until now.” Jim’s eyes widen slightly, then wander away as he wiggles his head and bites his lip. You wait for him to agree, then narrow your eyes. “You… Didn’t tell everyone to be nice to me, did you?”

“Well,” He begins, drawing out the word and wincing. “I didn’t quite do that. But I did explain that they shouldn’t act any different, what jokes they shouldn’t make about it, and to look something up before asking any questions. If they couldn’t find the answer online, then they could ask me, and then I would allow them to ask you.” You blink a few times, tilting your head.

“But no one ever asked me anything?” He nodded along, sucking his lips inside his mouth before popping them, sighing.

“Yep.”

“Did they have questions?”

“Oh,” Jim scoffs, laughing. “So many.” He places his hands between his knees, palms together. You couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Like what?” You feel curious but also dread at the prospect.

“Oh, y’know,” Jim shrugs, moving to mess with some pens on your desk idly, not meeting your eyes. “Just the usual dumbest shit on the planet. I told them all they were absolutely not allowed to ask you, of course, and had to explain why sometimes.” You nodded along, huffing out another laugh.

“I suddenly don’t want to know.”

“Oh, no, you really don’t.” You laugh softly along with him, feeling your chest bloom open, your crush developing further. For the second time today, you were moving before realizing you decided to. You stood, then reached forward and pulled Jim into a hug. He had straightened when he noticed you standing, then stood stiff as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You hesitated, about to pull away when Jim moved quickly, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you in tighter. You relaxed once more, laying your head against his chest and closing your eyes.

“Thank you, Jim,” You whisper, turning your nose to brush against his dress shirt. He smelled clean, with a hint of cologne that you couldn’t place. His arms were warm and strong- comforting in a way that you hadn’t felt in so long. He moved one of them up, cupping the back of your head as he straightened up more, pulling you in closer.

“It’s nothing,” Jim stutters out, and you can hear his heart beating under your ear. “Someone’s gotta make sure these folks don’t chase you away.” You laugh, leaning back to look him in the eye. He seems sincere, solemn, as he adds, “I think I would be devastated if you quit.” You chuckle once more, shaking your head as you pull away.

“Oh, I’m sure.”

“No,” Jim lowers his head, trying to catch your eye once again. “I’m completely serious. You are probably the only reason I still show up.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I mean, I’m this old and stuck in this job?” You laugh along, shaking your head.

“You make good money here, Halpert, don’t deny it.” You feel slightly upset you had pulled away from the hug so soon, but you had to look at him after he said that. You had to see if he was serious- Jim is hardly ever serious, always joking around. It was part of the reason your crush developed so fast, and also why it’d always remain a secret. He was so funny, making you laugh constantly. But he was also a bit of a jokester, and you didn’t know if he had a serious bone in his body. Today was showing he certainly did.

You weren’t sure if you’d be able to handle it.

You both spend some more time chatting, and his presence is a balm that soothes your panicked heart. He tries his best to make you laugh- which you do, often- and you finish your morning cup of tea in the meantime. You were sure you could’ve talked to him forever if only your phone hadn’t rung. You shrug with helplessness, reminded that you’re technically at work and still have a job to do. You reach to pick up your phone, apologizing to Jim who waves you off. You watch him walk away as you answer the phone, “Dunder Mifflin paper company, customer service representative speaking.”

It ended up being a quick call, with someone complaining that their shipment was late. You only had to find their account to let them know that the delivery was scheduled for today and the time. Once you placed the phone back in its slot, you raised your cup to your mouth before remembering it was empty. ‘Eh, might as well,’ You think to yourself, pushing to stand and make your way to the breakroom. Kelly is back at her desk as you circle around, and you make sure to say a soft greeting to her to make up for your earlier rudeness. She says a polite and short greeting back with a gentle face, still conscious of your rough morning.

You’re about to pull the door to the breakroom open when you notice the back of Jim standing at the counter. He was hefting a freshly brewed pot of coffee, and you couldn’t help but stand there and watch his arm flex as he hefted it with no problem. You didn’t see the other door open, but suddenly Kevin was walking directly into Jim’s space.

“I have another question.” Jim sighs visibly, shaking his head.

“Haven’t I told you enough-”

“No, this is a different question, Jim!” Kevin seems adamant, and after Jim puts the coffee pot away he takes a side step to regain some personal space. “And you said yesterday there’s a limit of stupid questions I’m allowed to ask a day so I couldn’t ask yesterday!”

“You have until I finish making my coffee.” You’ve never seen Jim quite so indifferent and snappy before, raising your curiosity. For some reason, you still stood there, barely peeking through the window of the door, still holding your empty cup.

“Ok, so if he still wanted breasts-”

“Nope.” Jim was already shaking his head, stirring sugar into his coffee.

“Alright fine, but also. Can he sow a penis-”

“Nope.” Kevin huffs in frustration, flapping his arms for a split second.

“Why do you keep saying no to all of my questions?” Jim finishes stirring his coffee, placing the spoon in the sink and turning to look directly at Kevin finally.

“Because all of these questions are way too personal.”

“How are they personal?” You tilt your head, furrowing your brow. How would they not be personal? Jim seems frustrated, running his free hand through his hair.

“You can’t just ask someone about their breasts or genitals, Kevin. You wouldn’t want anyone asking about your dick.”

“Actually, it’s kinda itchy-”

“Nope!” Jim pushes away from the bar, leaving immediately. You’re stuck between sympathy for both of them. You don’t think Kevin actually knows any better at this point, but you also just felt too awkward to even try to come up with an answer to those questions. However, were these the types of things that Jim had to put up with daily just to vet the office for you? Why would he put himself through all of that?

“He’s really trying, you know?” You startle from your thoughts, turning to look at Kelly still sitting in her rolling chair. You tilt your head in confusion, but also shifted on your feet, hoping to play off the fact that you’d been standing there this whole time.

“Who?” Kelly just gives you a look you can’t quite decipher, continuing.

“Jim, obviously.” She sighs, pushing herself away from her desk and standing. “He’s even asked me for help on occasion. Little things here and there, but he recruits the allies where he can find them.” You purse your lips, leaning back against the wall next to the door, crossing your arms while holding your cup upright still.

“Asked you for help? Doing what? Who else has he asked?”

“I knew you’d figure it out at some point, I just didn’t think it’d be when someone slipped through his fingers. Though, Michael is pretty unpredictable like that.” She shrugs with a smile like she’s trying to hold back a laugh. “His main ask for me was just to intercept anyone trying to bother you- most likely to ask the dumb questions. I just had to send them right back through the breakroom over to Jim’s desk.”

“Did that happen often?” She shrugs again, wiggling her head.

“Not often, but a few times. Mainly Kevin, he has a lot of questions.” You nod, glancing briefly toward the breakroom’s door before resting your eyes on her once more. You study her posture, then try to make a guess.

“The other was Mr Dellicker, wasn’t it?” She winces but nods nonetheless.

“He was a real ass.” She sighs dramatically, moving to lean against the wall next to you and bunching up one of the random, typical office posters that hang around throughout the floor. “He was Dwight’s client, actually. The moment Dwight heard him be even a small bit transphobic, he hung up the phone. This, of course, caught Jim’s attention. I mean, have you ever known Dwight to drop a client? Like, ever?” You shake your head in agreement, and she nods with you. “Yeah, right? Anyway, Jim asks, Dwight answered. To Dwight, that was the end of the entire thing. To Jim, however,” Her smile begins growing as she leans closer to you, “Well, he knew that Mr Dellicker would call back to complain. And who would be picking up the phone?”

“Customer service,” You mumble, absorbed into her story.

“Exactly!” She giggles now, unable to hold it back. “It was adorable, really, the way he begged me to make sure I took his call. He actually asked me to call the man first, but I told Jim I wouldn’t go out of my way just to aggravate someone who, as far as we knew, wouldn’t be calling back after such a rude hang-up. But he wouldn’t let up, so I agreed to keep an ear out.” She huffs now, widening her eyes with a far-off look. “Good thing I did, too. He was such an ass.”

“Thank you,” You say softly, bringing her back to the present. She tries to brush it off but you just shake your head, placing a hand on her arm. “No, not just for Mr Dellicker. For agreeing to help out at any point, just for me. For not making a big deal about my whole coming out, for never treating me any different or- just-” You hesitate, shaking your head. “Just everything, Kelly. You’re an amazing coworker.” You watch her eyes begin to water, and she lets out a wet laugh.

“Wow,” She raises her hands, wiping the corners of her eyes. “You’re going to make my makeup run.” She pushes up from the wall, circling you and entering into the breakroom, heading straight for the girls’ bathroom. You widen your eyes at this reaction, unsure, but take a deep breath and enter into the breakroom yourself. You still had some tea to brew.

You didn’t mean to idle, standing near the exit of the breakroom toward the annexe, but stuck in place watching Jim lean against Pam’s desk through the door’s window on the other side of the room. They were talking back and forth- a lot of laughing involved- and you couldn’t quite place the feelings whirling in your chest. It felt similar to jealousy, but you knew that wasn’t it. Envy? That perhaps she was his type, and not you after your transition? Insecurity?

You startle as Jim suddenly meets your eyes, watching him straighten up quickly. You try to act nonchalant, moving out of his line of sight to grab your lunch from the fridge, and sitting at the break room table. You’d finished your second cup of tea hours ago, and you were a tad overdue for your lunch break considering you had a whole host of emails that you usually respond to in the morning, but had to answer during your second cup of tea since you’d been just a tad distracted that morning. You bite your lip as the events from that morning fly through your mind, a whole host of emotions attached to them.

The door across the room opens, stopping your train of thought in its tracks. Jim walks in with a smile, moving toward the fridge. “Hey,” He greets you, scanning you with his eyes while you just sat there, slowly removing your lunch from its brown paper bag. “Was starting to worry you’d forgo lunch.” You laugh, then proceed to explain your lateness. As he sets his own lunch on the table, you begin to wonder if he waited for you. Then your eyes flicker back toward the door you’d been staring at him through.

“So, how’s Pam?” Jim seems a bit taken off guard at the question, turning to look at the door himself before looking back to you. He shrugs, taking his own lunch out of his lunch box.

“Uh, good, I guess?” He raises his sandwich, ready to take a bite before hesitating and adding on, “She’s excited to hear about that one show you mentioned this morning.” You nod along, watching as he begins to eat his sandwich. You take your own small bite, looking toward the door again.

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Jim’s eyebrows furrow immediately, and you watch him swallow. He seems to be planning his actions in his head before he performs them, placing his sandwich down.

“What?” He looks around the room aimlessly, wiggling his head. “I mean, yeah of course. She’s cute.”

“You two get along really well.” At this he chuckles, shrugging.

“We’ve worked together for a long time.” You both fall silent, taking more bites of your food. Jim breaks the silence with a resounding, “I’d probably have developed a crush on her by now if I wasn’t gay.”

Gay.

You end up lightly choking on your bite from surprise, playing it off with a cough and a sip of your water bottle. You can see Jim staring down at his sandwich at the table, taking a deep breath. “So, I can see why someone would develop a crush on her. If he was straight.” He glances briefly up at you, then back down to his sandwich. You tried your damndest to keep the look of shock from your face, that it takes an extra minute before you understand what he’s not saying. Did he think you were asking because you had a crush on Pam? You take another sip of water, letting your eyes wander away from him.

“Yeah, same.” Out of the corner of your eye, Jim glances up at you quickly, a look of concentration on his face that indicates his thoughts roaming a million miles an hour. You shrug for show, moving your own food closer so you can take a bite once you finish speaking. “I’d probably have developed a crush as well if I was straight.”

You only recognized the signs of Jim choking since you’d just gone through the same thing, as the man turns to cough into his arm as if to play it off. At least the poor man hadn’t been chewing food like you were. By the time Jim finished drinking from his own bottle, and moved to lean forward and say something, he was interrupted by the door opening and someone entering inside. He leans back, looking self-conscious, and you feel such a deep curiosity about what he was going to say that it burns in your chest. You don’t even register who walked in until she was taking a seat right next to you.

“I don’t know how you can stand it, Jim,” Kelly begins softly, and you look at her with confusion. Kelly never talks softly? “Working right next to the receptionist's desk all day. How do you get any work done?” Jim’s eyes flicker between you and Kelly, clearing his throat.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s so hot!” You and Jim meet eyes suddenly, listening to her continue to talk in a soft voice. No wonder, considering she was essentially coming out to the both of you. “When I first started and had to work over in that area, I was getting nothing done. Toby had to ask me what was wrong, and I sorta kinda told the truth that I was extremely distracted. He moved me to the annexe-” She pauses here, resting a hand on your arm with a sympathetic expression, “Sorry, Y/N, that’s why you’re confined back here as well.” You shake your head quickly, rushing in.

“No, it’s fine. I like it back here.”

“You do?” Jim asks with a smirk, and you give him a look essentially saying ‘Shut the fuck up Halpert I’m trying to console her.’ He just laughs noiselessly, his chest shaking as he moves to take another gigantic bite of his sandwich.

“Anyway, it’s so distracting. I had to go get something copied and I stood there an extra five minutes trying not to stare too directly at her. Oscar literally had to nudge me and remind me what I was doing!” She groans, letting her head fall onto the table. “So embarrassing.”

“Oscar knows?” You ask gently, unsure whether she actually realized she told you both. She lifts her head with a sigh, seemingly unfazed.

“Well, yeah. Oscar knows about everyone.” You hear Jim scoff softly, mumbling quietly under his breath.

“Not everyone.” This only causes Kelly to raise an eyebrow at Jim, smirking with humour.

“Oh, he knows about everyone, Jim.” His head was quick as it whipped toward Kelly, leaning in.

“Wait, what?”

“I mean,” She shrugs, glancing toward you briefly before meeting his eyes again. “You’re kinda obvious, Jim.” You can see his eyes widen, but you only feel confusion.

“Wait, how many people are gay in this office?” Kelly only shrugs, refusing to meet your eyes.

“Not my place to say.” You nodded along, obviously that being true. You meet Jim’s eyes once again, and you can see red peppering his cheeks.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Jim.” He nods as if agreeing, flicking his eyes between you and the rest of his sandwich throughout the rest of lunch. Kelly takes the initiative in the ensuing silence, talking about everything yet nothing at the same time. Just as you and Jim are both cleaning up to get back to work, Kelly sighs loudly with an eyeroll before looking toward you and plastering on a smile. The look only made you feel wary.

“So, Y/N, what are your plans for after work?” You swallow roughly, glancing at a wide-eyed Jim, then back to her.

“Uh, nothing really?”

“Oh,” She draws out, reaching forward and placing a flirty hand on your arm. “So you’re free tonight? Want to go out for drinks?” You stutter, pulling away from her arm, your head already shaking as you try to come up with an excuse. ‘Didn’t she just say that she found Pam attractive? What the hell is going on?’

“Uh, Kelly-” Jim tries to intercept, but she pulls away as if nothing happened, shrugging.

“I just meant with the lot of us. Jim will be there too, won’t you Jim?” She looks directly at him, raising her eyebrows as if she was expecting something from him. You look between the two as an awkward silence settles before Jim startles, trying (and failing) for a normal smile.

“Oh! Those drinks!” Jim laughs awkwardly, looking back and meeting your eyes. “Yeah, we’re all going out for happy hour at Poor Richard’s Pub, you should join us!” You relax slightly as Jim was the one offering, no matter how weird this entire interaction ended up being.

“Oh, uh,” You hesitate, still slightly wary. There’s obviously something you’re missing here. “I mean, sure. I have nothing else to do. Who all will be there?”

“Just a couple people from the office,” Kelly quickly answers, standing and moving to throw her own trash away. She turns to look at both you and Jim, still sitting in your chairs. “Well, c’mon! We have work to do, people!”

“I know why I’m sorry now.” You startle at your desk, turning to look directly at Michael Scott with wide eyes. You hadn’t even heard him approach. He circles around your desk, motioning for you to stop your work as he leans against your desk- an unknowing imitation of Jim that morning. “If you’re willing to listen?”

You can feel yourself swallow roughly, the beginnings of a familiar panic starting in your chest. You’re unsure what to say, so you just nod. He nods as well, taking a deep breath before continuing. “At first, I had no clue what you meant. I knew I was sorry, and I knew it was because I had hurt you.” He looks into your eyes, regret deep within his own. “But that wasn’t enough for you. So I started thinking.” He chuckles softly, leaning back on his hands and letting his own gaze roam the walls behind your desk. “And when that didn’t work, I remembered something Pam said when she tried to play along with my- well, yeah. A certain word I didn’t recognize. Dysphoric.”

You feel yourself tense, suddenly remembering the tightness around your chest where the binder lays under your clothes. You can feel the tie around your neck like it was trying to choke you. Michael, unaware of your inner struggles, continues on. “That search was enlightening- it was like everything you had expressed to me. And everything I had felt, trying on those clothes.” He hunches inward, his expression becoming stormy. “I felt so wrong wearing that skirt. And you were right- I had tried a blouse on. I bought one at the store that fit and even brought it home, but it just felt so weird when I tried to walk out of the door with it on. So I switched to my normal shirt.

“Then I was sitting in the parking lot, and I knew that the moment I placed my foot out of my car, everyone would see the skirt. I was-” He laughs humourlessly, shaking his head. “I was terrified. I tried to ignore it- like it was just stage fright, something I had to talk myself into.” You began to nod, intrigued by his story. “I don’t know how I convinced myself to get out of the car- I guess something along the lines of, ‘Well, I’m the boss. The ship will sink without me in there.’” He takes a deep breath, patting his legs loudly. “Anyway, I was jealous.” He shrugs, looking at you with wet eyes. Was he really getting emotional over this? “I mean, you did kinda steal my birthday away from me.”

Memories of that night flash quickly through your head. You’d come out during a party- a party you didn’t know the purpose of. That pink quinceañera cake… You didn’t get to taste it, but they could’ve gotten it because it was his favourite flavour? You hadn’t even seen Michael there. Was he trying for a grand entrance? Memories from this morning flash through your mind’s eye, Michael yelling at Pam, ‘He stole my thunder! My thunder, Pam!’

“It wasn’t planned, Michael,” You try to assuage, wincing despite yourself. “I’m sorry, though.” Your apology causes Michael to blow a sigh out roughly, then laugh and slap his thighs again.

“Wow! I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that.” You’re both silent- you studying Michael’s face, and Michael looking anywhere but at you. Then you start laughing.

“Michael,” You try to talk through your laughter, but you just shake your head and try to get it under control. You wouldn’t want him to think you were making fun of him- you only found him ridiculous- so you try your best to calm down. “Michael. You were upset that I ‘stole your thunder’ on your birthday, so your response was to… Pretend to be a girl? Instead of, oh I don’t know,” You try to hold back your laughter again, choking lightly on your words, “Throwing another party?” Michael seems to take a moment to absorb this- then begins to laugh alongside you.

“Well, that would’ve only been easy, Y/N. When have you known me to do things the easy way?” You both laughed again, and you began to shake your head.

“Never.” When your laughter finally dies down, you meet his eyes once again. Staring at each other, it's like you both finally understood. You thought he was just ignorant, but you had been missing out on important information as well. He began to nod, glancing over his shoulder toward the nearby wall clock.

“Well, looks like I kept you long enough. Time to clock on out!” He jumps up, shooting finger guns before backing up. He trips over the edge of the divider, tries to play it off, and then groans loudly when he sees Toby walking by. “God, every time!”

You chuckle to yourself, then begin the process of shutting down your computer and packing up. Kelly skirts around the divider quickly once the door closes behind Michael, leaning into your space. “Let me drive you.” You hesitate, widening your eyes.

“I’m sorry?”

“To the pub! Let me drive you!” You laugh nervously, beginning to shake your head.

“Oh, uh, no. I have my own car, but thank you-”

“If you drink, you won’t be able to drive home.” She counters, raising her eyebrows at you. You laugh again, shaking your head.

“Well, if we’re all drinking, wouldn’t you drink too?” She shakes her head immediately, crossing her arms.

“I don’t drink at all.” You still feel hesitant, and it must show on your face as she sighs and then leans in. “I’ll tell you Jim’s whole deal.” This catches you, looking back at her to study her.

“What do you mean…?”

“I’ll tell you if you let me drive you!” You huff a laugh, smiling despite yourself. “Yeah, alright. But if I don’t drink, you gotta’ take me back here so I can drive myself home.”

“Deal! And if you do, then I’ll drive you home and pick you up for work tomorrow morning!” You laugh again, shaking your head as you pick your briefcase up, finished with closing down your desk for the day.

“You seem excited about this.”

“Absolutely! I’ve been waiting forever!”

You were still unsure what she meant but followed along with the hyperactive girl as she burst through both of the doors to the breakroom. You watch Jim straighten where he had been leaning against Pam’s receptionist's desk, and smile toward you as you made your way to the exit.

“You know,” Jim starts, huffing a soft laugh and smiling in a way that took your breath away, “I was thinking.”

“Oh,” You draw out, smiling despite yourself, “Dangerous territory there, Halpert.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jim begins, laughing again. He takes a discreet look around before reaching forward to almost take your hand, his fingers tangling with your own but not quite grasping. “I was hoping that maybe I could drive you down to the pub? I know you have your own car and all, but I just want to make sure you’re safe with getting home, y’know?” Your face falls just as you hear Kelly’s voice behind you.

“Oh, don’t worry Jim! He has a ride already.” Jim looks toward Kelly over your shoulder, then back to you with wide eyes, pulling his hand away.

“Already?” Jim looks back to Kelly, confusion clear across his face.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist, Jim!” You feel her small hand wrap around your bicep, pulling you toward the door. “We’ll meet you there!”

You take one last look at Jim through the glass doors as Kelly drags you along to the elevator. You hesitate, mind trying to catch up, before you finally clear your throat and look at her. “No offence here, Kelly, but I honestly think I would’ve preferred riding with Jim?”

“You’ll have the rest of your life to ride with Jim. Just let me tell you what I need to tell you without the risk of Jim hearing us.” You both step onto the elevator, as Kelly begins mashing the button for the lobby.

“Uh,” Your mind is stuck, repeating ‘rest of your life’ and ‘Jim’ over and over. “This feels… Is this nefarious?”

“‘Nefarious,’” Kelly mocks, pulling you once the doors open again. “You say the oddest things sometimes.” You didn’t know which car was hers, but considering she was dragging you along, you didn’t have to guess. She pulls your briefcase from your hands, finally letting go of you, and you just stand in place. She throws your suitcase and her purse into the backseat, then opens the driver's door with a look up at you. “Well, get in!”

It was quiet for a long portion of the drive. You didn’t know what to ask, or how to even broach the subject. Did it seem too eager, to ride along with her just because she promised to tell you about Jim? And what was she even talking about- how would Kelly know more about Jim than you? True, you both hadn’t been friends for very long just yet, but you didn’t know Kelly and Jim were friends?

“So, it started when you started transitioning,” Kelly said, bursting you from your whirlwind of questions. “We all got pretty curious. I was the one who had the theory you were trans first.” She winces, looking over to you. “Sorry. I didn’t know at the time how true I was. I honestly didn’t even know if you knew about it, but- well, obviously you did.” You tilt your head, brow furrowing.

“You all were talking about me before we were friends?”

“Well, you know how the office is. You were changing, and people were noticing. Especially Pam and Jim. Pam, who is such a sweetheart and just wants everyone to be comfortable. She had a feeling you were never quite comfortable at the office but didn’t know how to help. Jim found you hot, which was throwing him for a loop considering he is gay, and normally not attracted to-” She hesitates, tilting her head. “Well, we did think you were a girl at the time.”

You nod along, unoffended. “Right, but-” You scoff, shaking your head, “I don’t know if I believe this story now. I mean, Jim? Finding me-” You almost say the word, then scoff softly and look down to your lap. “Attractive?”

“Well, you are hot,” Kelly confirms, and you look up quickly at her. You aren’t sure what expression is on your face, but Kelly just laughs. “What? Don’t look at me like that! You were hot when we all thought that you were a girl, and you’re even hotter now that we know you’re a boy!” You laugh in disbelief, shaking your head. Kelly continues on, pushing through your awkwardness. “I mean, c’mon! Confidence is sexy as hell.”

You look away, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks as you remember Jim saying something similar. “Sure, but-” Kelly interrupts you, continuing with her story.

“So once you finally came out, Jim had his own little freak-out because it wasn’t just a theory anymore. It is true, you are a dude, and Jim didn’t know if he could handle you getting hotter and hotter every day.” You flashback to another scene in your head, Jim saying something similar to Pam and you laughing, accusing him of finding Dwight attractive. Was he talking about you at that time? Kelly’s voice brings you back.

“Anyway, I finally told him that he needed to get his act together and ask you out already, or I’d do it first. Either ask you out for myself or for him, but either way. I don’t know if I could stand any more of him spewing about you, I mean- all I heard was Y/N this, or Y/N that, or ‘Wow he’s wearing the tie I gifted him!’ I mean, that man can talk.” You hold back a laugh, shaking your head. The one and only Kelly Kapoor, complaining about someone talking too much. That’d be hilarious to tell Jim- if you ever got the nerve together to tell him about this little conversation.

“Ok,” You huff out, shaking your head, “You’re asking me to believe that Jim not only finds me attractive but wants to date me?”

“Well, that’s where we’re going now! So you better believe it.”

“Going now- but you’re here? The office will be there, how would it be a date?”

“It’s going to be a date,” Kelly starts slowly, looking at you with a grin, “Because it’s not an office hangout. I’m going to drop you off and leave, and then Jim can take you home. I only did this to get you both together outside of work, you’ll be all alone with him.” She huffs, squeezing the steering wheel around her hands. “And I’m telling you all of this before the date because I don’t trust Jim to admit anything to you without pushing him for it. If I’m not there to pressure him, then-”

“Woah woah woah,” You interrupt, shaking your head quickly. “I’m not about to pressure my best friend for- for some wild hope that he might feel the same. And I-” You can feel the panic again, pulling at the seatbelt around your torso. “I don’t know if I can do this, I didn’t know it would be just us, I mean-”

“Calm down, it’ll be fine. It’s just Jim, remember?” ‘It’s just Jim,’ You repeat to yourself as Kelly turns the car into the pub’s parking lot. You take a few deep breaths, nodding your head. ‘Yeah, I can do this. It’s just Jim, just normal ole Jim.’ Kelly backs her car into a space, waiting for Jim’s to arrive. It doesn’t take long to notice Jim’s car pulling in, parking in one of the front parking spaces, directly in your line of sight. You take another deep breath, nodding.

“I can do this,” You whisper, and Kelly reaches over to squeeze your arm. That’s when you watch two of the car doors open, Jim and Pam stepping out to take a look around. You hear a squeak beside you, Kelly’s hand tightening on your arm. You look over with concern, watching panic written across her face.

“Oh, Jim, you bitch,” Kelly whispers, shaking her head.

“This wasn’t part of the plan, was it?”

“Absolutely not,” Kelly whispers, then moves to get out of the car alongside you. You both approach the other two, smiles on your faces. They finally notice you, and it’s almost like you and Jim have locked eyes and thrown away the key. You’re unsure what’s really happening between the two girls, not registering the words exchanged. You walk a little closer to Jim, smiling up at him.

“Hey,” You whisper, and his smile widens, reaching his hand out in an imitation of earlier, tangling your fingers together.

“Hey.” He glances over to the other two girls, wincing and looking back to you. “I wasn’t sure- is it okay that I brought Pam?”

“Apparently,” You whisper, leaning closer and glancing briefly at Kelly to make sure she’s sufficiently distracted, “That wasn’t part of the plan. She told me she was throwing me out of the car and driving off.” You note the blush lighting up Kelly’s cheeks as she talks with Pam, before turning your attention back to Jim. You hadn’t realized you leaned in this close- or did he lean in as well? His face was next to yours, close enough to share a kiss.

“Shall we head inside? Guys?” You both jump apart, and you look guiltily over to Pam, who spoke. She only smiled in response, throwing a thumb over her shoulder. “We could grab a booth?”

The night was going well. It didn’t really feel like a date like Kelly had hoped it to be, but instead a nice get-together of a couple friends. You all laughed constantly, telling stories and jokes from the office, while also sharing your own life’s stories. No one really talked about their own life outside of the office while they were working, so it was a refreshing twist on things. You felt drawn even closer to the lot of them- Jim, especially, as he couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from you for too long. You weren’t sure, but you thought it was Jim’s leg under the table pressing against your own. You hoped so, anyway.

“But, yeah, Toby is so weird! You guys don’t get that vibe?” Pam continues, giggling as she sips her mixed drink. Jim and Kelly were the only two keeping away from the alcohol, but you had ordered your favourite mixed drink and had slowly been sipping on it. You knew you weren’t drunk yet, but you were pleasantly tipsy.

“No?” You hesitated, trying to think back over the times you’ve interacted with him. It was more often than most since you worked in the annexe, but he always seemed like a nice, if tired, man.

“It’s cause he has a crush on you,” Kelly nods, laughing alongside Jim. Pam blushes, shaking her head quickly.

“Oh, no, of course not.”

“Well, Kelly would know,” Jim points out with a grin, raising his glass to his mouth and taking a large gulp. You watch confusion rush across Pam’s face, while Kelly’s turns a bright shade of red. She mouthed his name behind her cup, giving him a stern look.

“What does he mean by that?” She asks, looking between you and Kelly, then back at Jim. “What do you mean?”

“Oh,” You begin, laughing under your breath. “Just that Kelly has a lot of experience talking with Toby. He was the one who moved her into the annexe, after all. It almost seems like they have a lot in common?” You end it with a question, trying your best to be vague. Jim almost spits out his drink with his laugh, turning to cough into the crook of his arm.

You hear Pam question, “Yeah, why were you moved into the annexe?” Right as Kelly mumbled from beside you, “Not that much in common. Like one thing.” You and Jim meet eyes, trying to keep the humour from your faces.

The rest of the night passed in much the same way. You still were unsure about the whole ‘Jim liking you’ bit but found yourself pleasantly hopeful. And it seemed like- if that was true- maybe Jim was trying to get back at Kelly by teasing her about liking Pam. You began to wonder if that was his plan all along, showing up with Pam randomly. Honestly, whether this was a double date or just a hang-out with friends, you found yourself enjoying the time immensely. But the night was wearing thin, and all four of you had work in the morning.

As you and Pam were helping each other out of the booths, making sure she hadn’t forgotten her purse, Jim and Kelly had run off to pay the bill. You glanced over at Jim- probably with a longing look since you can’t exactly help it, being slightly inebriated- and watched him lean in close to Kelly as they began whispering back and forth.

“He’s a good guy, y’know.” You look back over to Pam, eyes widening. “I don’t know you well enough yet to know your thoughts on him, but he is a good guy. And he deserves the world.” You chuckle softly, nodding.

“Yeah,” You say breathlessly, looking back over to him. He glanced up at the same time, and you can’t help the smile crossing your face. “I think so too.”

“Then tell him,” Pam insists, and you look back down to her. “He deserves to know that. He thinks he’s not worth your time, apparently.”

“That’s ridiculous-”

“What’s ridiculous?” Jim asks as the other two rejoin you and Pam. Pam smiles brightly leaning over to take Kelly’s arm.

“That you have to drive all the way across town just to drop me off, Jim!”

“Actually, we were just talking about that,” Kelly mumbles, and you smile watching her attempt to hold eye contact with Pam unsuccessfully. “If it’s okay with you, then maybe I could take you home? And Jim can take Y/N.”

“Yes!” Pam practically yells out, and you chuckle softly. You look over toward Jim, seeing him already looking your way.

“If that’s alright with you?” He whispers, and you nod immediately.

“Of course it is, Jim.”

“Good,” Jim says, releasing a breath as if with relief.

“Good,” You parrot, reaching forward boldly to take his hand. “Lead on, then.”

Once you and Jim make it to his car, you both wait before getting in to make sure Pam and Kelly are in their car safe and buckled. Once Kelly begins pulling out, Jim turns to you and leans in closer. “I had a fantastic time today.” You laugh, nodding along, leaning against his car and gravitating toward him.

“I did too. ‘Was surprised that Pam showed up, though.”

“Well, Kelly did say it was ‘the office’ going out for drinks. I thought it’d be fine.”

“Well, she didn’t actually mean the office, apparently. She was just trying to get us alone.” You shrug, smirking up at him. His deer-in-headlights look was gone now, for some reason. He seemed bold, leaning closer and taking your hand.

“And if it was? Would that have been fine?” You laugh again, nodding slowly.

“That would’ve been perfect.” His face slowly loses his teasing look, turning serious- but soft.

“Y/N,” Your name is husky in his mouth as he begins leaning closer, and you can smell his cologne in the air. Everything was so much, his smell, his body heat, his honey-brown eyes as he took up your entire vision. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” You whisper in return and meet him halfway as your lips crush together. He pulls the hand not holding yours to your face, lightly caressing your cheek throughout the heated kiss, and you grab hold of his hip with your own free hand, pulling him closer. You can feel him moan through the kiss, turning his head to deepen it. This was nothing like you’ve dreamed of- but oh, so much better.

When you two finally part, breathing heavily, he’s pressing you against his car with the length of his body. You both pant as you stare into each other’s eyes, and your grip slowly loosens on his hip. Eventually, he pulls away, clearing his throat with a blush. “Wow,” He whispers, a smile growing as he looks at you bashfully.

“Yeah,” You agree just as quietly, and Jim moves to open the passenger door for you. “Oh, right. Thank you.”

As you sat down in Jim’s car, ready to be driven home, you can’t help but think: ‘Man, I love working for Dunder Mifflin. Even the bad days can turn into the best ones.’

Tag List: @ltnoscara @zombieboyevan @cursedashes

#jim halpert x reader #jim halpert x trans reader #ftm!reader #gay!jim #pam beesly #michael scott #kelly kapoor #bi!kelly #the office toby mentioned #dwight shrute mentioned #drinking in moderation #happy ending #the office #fanfiction

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whomadewaffles · 2 months

Text

Pjhazel incorrect qoutes Part 2!

this one feels more pj-centric so...sorry to the haters, but I think she's amazing so.

As last time, long post under the cut, sorry for not citing the sources, bad language and raunchy humour abound ect ect.. enjoy!

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Hazel: Pspspsps

Pj *walking over to her*: What are you doing idiot, trying to call a cat?

Hazel *frantically taking notes*: Holy shit it worked

*note: to me, Hazel is dog coded, and pj is very cat coded*

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*Hazel has a date with a girl at school, and pj is having a normal one about it*

Josie *gasps*:...You're JEALOUS!

Pj *clearly jealous*: I am NOT jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous - Because I'm not jealous!

josie: You're not making any sense.

Pj: - Oh and all of a sudden you're the President of Things that Make Sense?!

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Pj *talking to Mr .G with the club about the next meeting or something*

Pj: Cool, thanks, dad

*everyone staring at her*

Pj: Why is everyone staring at me?

Isabel: You just called Mr .G “dad”.

Pj: *scoffs* No, I didn’t, I said thanks, man.

Mr G: Do you see me as a father figure, girl?

Pj: No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure cause you’re always bothering me.

Josie *not one to miss out on messing with her best friend a little*: Hey! Show your father some respect.

Pj: I didn’t call him dad!

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Hazel *carves "pj + Hazel" into a tree*

Pj: What a nerd.

Pj *adds "4ever"*

_______

Hazel: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Pj: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

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*Hiking*

Hazel: Mother nature is beautiful

Pj *panting trying to catch her breath*: MOTHER NATURE IS A WHORE!!!!

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Pj: relax, Principle meyers won’t be able to trace this back to us.

Josie: Are you for real? He traces everything back to us! He traces things we haven’t even done back to us!

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Pj: You're wearing make-up.

Hazel: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Pj: ... Looks okay... I guess.

*later*

Pj *freaking out to josie later*: she looked so good.

Josie: I know.

Pj: I'm so gay.

Josie: I know...

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Pj: Being horny 24/7 and a virgin is not for the weak.

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Hazel: Do you even have a self-care routine?

Pj: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

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Pj : Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality.

Pj: I'm a gorgeous hot mess.

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Hazel: Sometimes I worry I'm being awkward, but then I remember it's half my charm, so I redouble my efforts immediately.

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Hazel: Things look a little tense.

Pj: Don't worry, I'm gonna open with a joke.

Hazel: Please don't.

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Pj: But now they come for my girl?

Pj: My sweet, defenseless hazel?

Hazel: ...

Hazel: …I know how to make bombs.. I have 16 taekwondo medals, and I'm the best fighter in the club?! I killed someone with a football helmet?!

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Pj: Good news! I didn’t screw up!

Hazel: …

Pj: I screwed up less badly than usual!

Hazel: …

Pj: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual

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Pj: *drunk and hitting HEAVILY on Hazel*

Hazel *blushing*: Usually, I would love to take you up on the offer, pj, but you're too drunk to consent...

Stella-Rebecca: Aww, that's sweet, Hazel. I'm sure pj appreciates that you don't want to take advantage of her.

Pj: THE HELL I DO!

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*pj driving with hazel in the passenger seat*

Pj: I'd be really lost without you, Hazel.

Hazel: Pj! That's so sweet, I'd be lost without you aswell.

Pj: No, no, literally, where the fuck are we.

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Pj: Would you still love me?

Hazel: ...If what?

Pj: *voice cracking* No, that was the question..

*note: its pj's abandonment issues coming through*

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Pj: the power of women's history month is coursing through your veins

Mr.G: Women's histordeez nuts!

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*Warning: this is an ANGSTY one, my friends- don't worry, they work it out. As a sidenote; watch the scott pilgrim show if you haven't already. It's so good*

Pj: the truth is, I was too afraid to face you and my feelings

Hazel *angrily*: So you left without a word?!

Hazel: You made me feel like nothing.

Hazel: You we're afraid? Good for you!

Hazel: All I ever wanted was for you to see me.

Pj *holds back tears knowing she fucked up badly*

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Hazel: No, I'm not tired of being nice. Yes, I still just wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.

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Hazel: my kink is saying something incredibly corny and watching you speed run the five stages of grief as you realize with horror you still want to fuck me.

Pj *pillow over her face*: I am begging you, Hazel, please get a new kink…

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Pj: Hazel figured out she can sneakily stick a note on someone’s back.

Pj: But she doesn’t know they should say things like “kick me”, so they just have cat facts on them.

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Hazel: You idiot!

Pj: I’m sure you’re right, but why?!

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Brittney: Can you come collect your freak of a girlfriend please, she's doing things

Hazel: No.

Hazel: I set her loose on purpose, she needed enrichment.

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Isabel: Ever since you started dating, you've become really nice and kind to Hazel. It's sweet

Pj: Well, duh, I'm not stupid. You don't bite the hand that fingers you, or whatever the saying is.

_______

Pj: I need bitches, how to I get bitches wise one 🙏🙏🙏

Rhodes: Well, first off, you gotta stop calling them that, girl.

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Pj: It's nice to see you again.

Hazel: Are you talking to my cooch?

Pj: Yes.

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Pj: Vulnerability is like so hard. If I told you anything sappy, Hazel, please know that I had to do hand to hand combat with seven layers of embarrassment, regression, and abandonment issues.

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Hazel: Pj, people love you and care about you whether you like it or not. I love you whether you like it or not. And no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'm not going anywhere. So just get used to it, okay?

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Pj: I guess I’m just a bad person.

Hazel: No, you’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person. But sometimes you can be a real asshole.

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#pjhazel #bottoms 2023 #pj bottoms #hazel callahan #incorrect quotes #some of my faves are on this one #like the one with Rhodes #and Mr.G being the weird father figure that PJ didn’t ask for but secretly appreciates

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canisonicscrewyou · 7 months

Text

Okay here’s the thing, some of you are asking for the 2019 Aziracrow Cosplay Pics** in my inbox, and upon reflection how could we not. You’re gonna get so much more lore than you could’ve ever asked for or wanted,though. This is a long post, and I almost want to apologize for it. **Pre-HRT baby face pics ahead

For context, Damien and I have known each other since freshmen year of high school, 2012. In fact, we had like no classes together, and whenever one of us mentioned our nerd shit in class the first couple of days, kids kept telling us we HAD to meet each other. We finally met in a history class after they got transferred into it, and exchanged fandom memes back and forth after school on the sidewalk that day until our rides picked us up, and pretty much from then on freshmen year EVERYONE thought and asked if we were two little queer kids dating in our Catholic School.

And of course we weren’t— we just sat in each others’ laps a lot, or grabbed at each other a lot, and were a little inseparable for a while. Neither of us read anything into this. We were also, very importantly, cringey little 14-15 year old SuperWhoLock girlies, only I didn’t watch Supernatural, and they didn’t really watch Doctor Who, and we both thought Sherlock was pretty good. We supplemented our own love for our special little shows for the other. We were so inseparable that Damien’s 1-month-long-freshmen-boyfriend got them a Doctor Who gift for Valentine’s Day. The key to the Eleventh Doctor’s TARDIS. (My favorite, at the time, and also one that I knew they definitely sold at the comic book shop up the block.) They break up with him for giving them chocolates with nuts(allergy), and immediately give my little autistic ass the TARDIS key at lunch. Neither of us read anything into this. This is a common theme.

Damien, at some point, tells me to read a book they love, Good Omens. Due to my brain being the way it is, it takes about 3-4 business years, until college, to read Good Omens at their recommendation.

Damien is one of my best friends throughout high school and college. I also think it’s important to note that they were a jock, and I was a theatre kid. And the only time I convinced them to do something, a haunted house, with the drama club, to share a hobby maybe, they got hit in the head with a lightsaber by a 1st grader and needed stitches immediately after we started.

ANYWAYS.

I get Damien into cosplay a year or so later- 2013? 2014?

But it also takes us years to cosplay together- we would help with each others’ cosplays a lot. By that I mean I built a bunch of their props and they helped by getting the supplies with me and generally just hanging out. It takes us until 2019 to cosplay together.

Good Omens is out on Amazon Prime.

We text each other.

“Do you want to do a couple’s cosplay of this?

Yes, yes of course I do.

And yes, of course you’re Crowley, and of course I’m Aziraphale. And of course I’m Crowley, and of course you’re Aziraphale.”

Pretty much every week that summer, we built our wings from scratch, from wire and masking tape and ethically sourced goose and duck feathers and mall Chinese food. We go out and plan and shop for our gay little outfits. We sit and talk in their car, in my driveway, for ages every time, every night.

Another fun fact: this was the same convention that I painstakingly painted their tits blue for. And also painstakingly helped them wash blue off of in the shower, drunk, later that night. Unrelated, Aziraphale was the first cosplay I felt comfortable in.

Another fun fact: while getting ready for the photo shoot we booked that morning, my family dog scared my cat Almondmilk, and he peed all over my Aziraphale cosplay, and I yelled a bit. Our photographer rescheduled, blessedly, and a few hours later our photographer was asking how we wanted to stage the kiss, since of COURSE there had to be a kiss, but instead we sort of just—

“We’re really good friends— We’ve known each other since high school— We’ve already seen so much of each other this is no big deal— Do you need another shot?”

“Uh-huh,” Our photographer says, knowingly. “I think maybe one more, if we’re comfortable with—“

“Oh yeah, no problem at all-“

“Uh-huh, Yeah,” Our photographer says, knowingly. “Tilt your head up more.”

Not many couples can say they somehow managed to get their first kiss documented and edited in HD.

Damien got nauseous at the last day of the con, and the only thing we had to help were these honey sticks from a tea shop booth. They couldn’t open the little sticks themself, with their fangs in, so I took them and ripped them open with my teeth to give to them. Completely, totally unrelated, though, I think this was the summer I began to realize, perhaps realize once more, that I was so absolutely done for for Damien.

Anyways all of that went SO well, that we were planning every Ineffable Husbands cosplay we could. Somehow, our most logical next choice was a fun and very quick, messy little boudoir photo shoot in my college dorm room, while they were visiting me 3+ hours away from their school.

Down so bad you lovingly pack wigs to go to college with so that you can have your best friend sit in your lap for your little ship.

We did that as Just Good Friends, literally in front of an old friend who took the photos and helped us stage the poses a bit.

We went to sleep that night in that bed. It was big enough to fit 3, maybe even 4 people if you were in a pinch. The bed was not treated like it was that big. (Note, we now sleep on a full sized bed, and it’s suddenly too small.)

And we talked for a while and we went to bed and all I could think about was how much I loved them no matter the sense of the word. And how many nights we sat talking in your car in my driveway for way too long, wondering if I should ask if I could kiss you. (A quick pronoun change, because I know you’re reading this.)

And

Nothing

Came

This

For

FOUr

YEARS.

Just good friends. Just good, good friends.

And that’s how Good Omens helped me realize, in retrospect of 2019, how in love I was with my Crowley best friend.

#long post #sorry for the gay oversharing nerd ass romance story when all y’all were asking for was cosplay pics.#hiiiiiiii damien this is close enough to our anniversary (next week?) that I can be gay on main hardcore mode.#also everyone say happy birthday Damien bc that IS today #the hilarity of 2019 especially. how we didn’t end up dating after that con alone is beyond me.#We probably Were Not Ready but anyways. it’s a good fucking cosplay. I still have that cosplay.#this cosplay gave me gender euphoria pre-hrt which was hard to come by in costumes/theatre/cosplay #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens cosplay #aziraphale cosplay #crowley cosplay #we beat the toxic codependent sapphic teenage friendship by transing our genders <333333 #andrew’s face #ask to tag for the boudoir ones. however they’re also incredibly tame bc a friend was photographing us and we were trying to play so cool #I was at least

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bengiyo · 4 months

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For Him Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we began to explore the boundaries of the new relationship between Nail and Him. Nail is having a good time and seems to like Him, but isn’t interested in having a romance at this time. Him seems to be dealing with a lot of other pressures from his homewrecker friend and his parents, and seems extremely determined to win Nail over; I’m enjoying Dew’s eye work in this a lot. There’s something happening with the hets around a misunderstanding. There’s also a new couple forming that had some interesting consent work in their encounter, but I admittedly cannot remember their names yet.

Oh right! Him was dating this guy named Blue that looks just like Nail.

A tale as old as time: rich gay boy fails boyfriend because of his family drama.

I don’t care for Te.

Okay, the other couple’s names are Chao and Phai. Thank you, opening credits.

Yes, these two talked about what they wanted and how to be. The athletic leg maneuver is new. Points for that, as well as good progression of intimate m/m acts.

Girl, he did not pour chocosauce on this man on his bed. Who is cleaning these sheets?!?

Not my man Phai afraid he’s gonna catch a case!!

Okay, not to be on Jay’s side, but does he know you like hydrangeas, babygirl?? He also called you immediately after them being handed to you. He was definitely a dick for cheating on you, but he ain’t wrong about you not telling him shit.

“I have to feed my dog at the condo.” 😂 This boy does seem clingy.

I love Phai being unfazed by these weak tactics from Chao.

This is awkward as hell! Everyone in the room knows Nail looks like Blue and has no idea what to do.

Okay, this Te dude sucks. You were jealous of Him’s relationship with Blue, so now you’re going to destroy all of his future relationships? You’re stalking his current flame?

Nail, please block this man.

Do not talk to this man! Tell him to bippity-bop-back-the fuck off and block him!

Him, I don’t know that the flowers are going to fix this! Sort your drama, or at least fill Nail in so he can understand what he’s waded into!

I’m really enjoying the way everyone is playing various kinds of heartbreak in this show.

Okay, I don’t think I’m going to be mad about Him hiding how much Nail looks like Blue, and I’ll wait to see how messy this past drama is. For now, I’ll be glad that he told Nail wtf was going on.

They are probably watching BL!

That final conversation on the bed was cute as hell. I like that Nail still gets to be cautious in this dynamic.

Okay! We learned a bit more about Him, Blue, and Te this week. Expecting this family shit to blow up when Nail lets down his guard at some point. I’m curious about the side couple since we have a five-year age gap to explore where one of them is working. I do not like Te, and I am not looking forward to that man causing problems for the next two months.

#for him the series #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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austin-chr-2-0 · 1 month

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Can we all just, as a group, collectively stop pretending that the Chucky series is actually a good show?

I promise it isn’t. It’s nothing short than a literal fetish bait that you see on TikTok. I’ll admit, Don’s show was enjoyable in S1. This is no hate or coming after anyone, I’m simply stating what I see.

Not only is the plot more confusing than my gender identity, there’s clear racism in the show. Am I the only one who finds it so hilarious that Don nearly killed off almost every POC character? And only kept the one that was apart of the “main couple” thing Don is doing that’s equivalent to the foolishness they did in Highschool Musical? One of my good friends did a whole blog on it, their name is Mys and I’ll link it.

And not to mention how Don literally admitted to Jake being a self insert. Let me repeat that for those in the back — HE ADMITTED JAKE IS A SELF INSERT. Meaning that the only reason Devon is alive because he’s an extension of DON’S SELF INSERT. Don literally said that his experiences with Jake are “similar” like sir, just admit it already. And don’t get me started on the poor writing here.

Dambala and Christianity? This isn’t paganism bro, and Dambala is technically voodoo and hoodoo, and those different religions have Catholic and Christian roots and similar tools. Also, I don’t mean to point out the elephant in the room but Chucky and Tiffany are white. Hoodoo and Voodoo and the practice of Dambala is a closed practice specifically for who?? African people. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. How come nobody fucking points out how Alyvina, Lexy’s actor, gets sexualized left and right?

And so does Devon’s actor. And I would like everyone to realize that Devon and Lexy’s actors, BJ and Alyvina are technically MINORS. Zachary is an ADULT. So imagine how it must look being a minor making out with a full ass grown adult. That is CRAZY.

And I know what everyone is going to say; “Well there’s consenting so it doesn’t matter” and “Well the show had better representation, I’d like to see you do better” and worst of all “What did you expect the show to be 💀 It’s TV-14, meaning that it’s gonna be swearing, sex talk, gore” and I know what the Don apologists are probably thinking; that I’m just randomly coming after a show but it’s far from it, if you took the time to read this editorial.

And let me break it down before everyone gets to typing and removing. I’m not saying it should be all cupcakes and rainbows. I’m saying these characters should have more characterization. Devon’s confession being deleted was the worst “fuck you” decision ever. We could’ve had a chance for Devon to get characterized and show some vulnerability.

But no. Of course not.

And instead of taking a season to focus on Devon, we have a random YT character — Grant. Again, nothing for Devon. As an African American gay individual, I resided with Devon a lot and I was so confused on how he rarely has characterization. We don’t even get to see him have a grieving process!

I believe, no, I KNOW Don is using something that was introduced in Scandal, a tv show — this method is called dog whistle media/politics. It’s basically racism, sexism, homophobia, all that good stuff in a language so coded that it only affects the person they’re targeting. Like a dog whistle.

So when Don kills off POC characters, sexualizes children, doesn’t let Devon be emotional or vulnerable, IMMEDIATELY jumped into sex in S3, trust that POC and lgbtq people and creepy mfs on Reddit know EXACTLY what Don is doing. It’s a fine line between made for mature audiences and made for creepy audiences. Like the Wren situation on TikTok.

The only reason you all defend this show is because it stimulates you, in a weird, arousal kind of stimulation way or the simple fact it’s all the representation you all really have, and you shouldn’t settle for less.

For people who get stimulated by this show; It’s gross. You’re gross. Receive therapy.

In conclusion, the Chucky series by Don Mancini is not a good show. It is a cash cow, and a lengthened fetish post on TikTok. Do what you want, but I will tell you, if you enjoy that show, it’s not just because of the representation. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#devon evans #jake wheeler #chucky #chucky series #chucky 2021 #austintalks

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sillyfanatic · 4 months

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Snowstorms and card games

Merry christmas and happy holidays! Here's my little festive present to all of you! (Because what's more festive than gay hedgehogs and snow <333) Click here to read it on ao3 :D

CW for detailed mentions of food!

p.s: Thank you to everyone who responded to my post about Shadow's teleportation, it helped a lot with this fic!!

(wc; 4142)

The whistle of the wind and the rattling of the window had pulled them out of their conversation. Sonic stood then, walking to tug the curtains to the side, wanting to discover what lay on the other side. It was late now, and yet there was a brightness to the evening, heavy snowfall batting against the window with force.

Shadow didn’t mean to be here this long, there was barely a snowflake in the air when he’d first come here, and now… well, now, it looked like a blizzard was brewing on the other side of the wall.

“Oh, shit, how long have we been talking?” Sonic shook his head and pushed the curtain back, as if hiding the outdoors would change the weather. A quick glance at his watch indicated 10:43PM. “Hm.” A quiet disappointed huff, perhaps the start of a realization.

They both knew Shadow lived far. While Sonic had opted for a home in the countryside, the agent’s career required him to live in the heart of the city. They also knew that his bike, which had been conveniently parked by the front steps, was now stuck underneath a thick blanket of snow.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stay this long.” It’s all Shadow could muster as the situation fell upon them: an apology for something that was outside of his control.

“It’s fine.” Sonic reassured, as he always did, but his eyes betrayed him. There was a glimmer of unease in them, a worry in the way his brows furrowed pointedly. Was his presence really that bothersome? Did the thought of them being stuck together annoy him?

He was already worrying, reading into things.

The agent felt a familiar heaviness in the air, the awkward silence he and Sonic often struggled to fill. Except when they were talking about work, which they had been, for… three hours, it seemed.

Why had he let himself get carried away?

“I should go.” He stood then, but moved no further, standing still as he eyed the other.

“Are you insane?” Was the immediate reply on Sonic’s behalf. The blue hedgehog drew the curtain back again, a dramatic show of their current situation. “Shadow, your bike’s at least six feet under by now.”

The thought of his beloved motorcycle being left to rust out there was almost enough to make him wince.

But it’s not what he’d meant. There was a better, easier, way to get out of here.

“No, idiot, I’m just going to-“ he started, feeling himself becoming more and more irritable. The situation wasn’t great, he wasn’t happy to know he’d wasted three hours here, that his bike would need some repair after this, and Sonic’s oddly placed nerves didn’t help either.

Frustrated, he reached into his quills seeking out…

It wasn’t there.

“Were you about to say that you’re gonna chaos control?” Sonic’s arms were crossed now, and there was a smug smile on his face. It wasn’t helping Shadow’s souring mood, not by a landslide.

“Fuck you.” He spat out, surely an aggressive reflex born from his past, not by the person he was trying to be.

“Fuck me? You’re the one who came here asking about a chaos emerald in the first place!” He pointed out, very annoyingly.

“Let me think.” Shadow mumbled, pacing around the room as a heavy silence settled between them once more.

There had to be something he could do, some way he could get out of this house. He’d just come here about the emeralds, and yes, although the three hours they’d spent discussing them wasn’t entirely unpleasant, it did not mean he wished to elongate his stay.

But every answer seemed to fall short. His bike was not usable, and even if it was, the roads were probably undistinguishable. So, vehicles were a no, and sonic didn’t own a plane (tails did, but he stored his plane in his garage, which seemed inconvenient now.)

And he couldn’t teleport out of here because he lacked a chaos emerald.

“Your pacing is stressing me out.” Sonic was still standing by the window, leaning against it now. He looked so nonchalant, how the fuck did he seem so calm now? Had he accepted the situation that easily? Was change, unexpectedness, not frightening? It certainly froze up Shadow.

“Helps me think.” He slowed down, still, feeling himself get a bit too worked up.

“Think about what? There’s no way out of here dude, you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”

“I could walk?” He knew it wasn’t an option, he’d even spoken it as though it was a question, not a suggestion.

“Sure, that would be a super cool way to die.” His voice was thick with sarcasm. “‘Tried to take a walk in a blizzard’ is what I’ll have them write on your gravestone.” Sonic chuckled at his own joke, making the other stop his pacing entirely just to glare at him.

“Aren’t you trying to think of anything? You certainly don’t want me here all night, do you?”

“Mm, wouldn’t be the worse company I’ve ever had.” The hero shrugged his shoulders, ignoring half of the questions asked to him.

Fuck. This was going to be a long night.

The way the windows rattled against the storm was concerning to say the least. A couple of hours later and the house had not yet fallen, despite the cracks and the creaks occasionally heard throughout the home.

It wasn’t the worst place he could be stuck in. This wasn’t G.U.N headquarters, or knuckle’s house (that, he’d risk a walk in the snow to escape.)

In fact, it was kind of cozy. He’d only ever seen the kitchen / dining / living room area, but Shadow felt fond of the decor here, the messy mish mash of vintage 80s furniture and sentimental items that did little to match the ongoing “theme”.

It was comfortable, not too gaudy, and it didn’t appear to follow any set rule or rhythm. Kind of like Sonic.

Sonic, who had been noisily rummaging in the kitchen for the past few minutes as Shadow lay on his back on the couch, begging the minutes to go by faster. The agent had run through every possible escape plan, most of which landed him in the hospital. He was resilient, sure, but he wasn’t stupid; no mobian could face such low temperatures and harsh weather conditions with barely any protection. So, he’d reluctantly concluded that he’d have to stay here for a while, until a solution came up, or until the storm vanished. Both of which felt like they were years away.

The noise Sonic made was bothersome, yes, but not nearly interesting enough to warrant his attention. And so, Shadow ignored it.

That was, until a smell started to tickle his nose: something warm and spiced, a savoury aroma filling the air around them.

It managed to make him move. Propping his elbow underneath him, Shadow threw a peek into the kitchen. As expected, there Sonic was, fussing over a large pot, the metallic edges surrounded by vapor. There were cutting boards and utensils strewn across the area, ingredients and their unusable portions littering the counters.

It was intriguing, he supposed. Or at least, it was something to do, something to watch.

And so, Shadow pushed himself up, heading towards the small kitchen to bother the other hedgehog.

Sonic barely glanced at him as he made a trip to the fridge, taking out some carrots to cut and peel.

“It’s stew, nothing fancy.” He spoke as he chopped, the crisp sound of cutting carrots repeating itself gently.

“Mm.” Shadow huffed, but his curiosity was peeked. Looking into the pot he could observe a rich broth, laden with vegetables and some sort of meat, a labour of care. And although he couldn’t see them, there were spices, a nice mix of seasonings that almost made his mouth water.

Sonic slid the carrots into the mix, snapping the agent out of his daze. “It’ll be ready when the carrots get softer, maybe fifteen minutes, I’d say?” He stirred the mixture slowly, the broth changing colours and shimmering as he did so.

“Where did you learn to cook like that?” It was the closest thing to a compliment.

Sonic put the ladle aside, shaking his shoulders.

“Don’t know. I’ve always loved cooking. I think I wanted to be a chef when I was young.” There was a small huff, something akin to laughter on his lips. There was some humour in a retrospective like that, to think of what you dreamt, knowing what had become of you after all those years. “I guess I also learnt for survival, yaknow? Cooking basic things with what I had, making sure tails and I were always fed.”

It was hard to imagine Sonic as anything else than what he was now. A chef? The idea seemed ridiculous. Perhaps in another lifetime, in a different universe somewhere, Sonic the hedgehog was known as a chef.

It made Shadow wonder; did he have dreams and aspirations too, an ideal career he never fulfilled? If there was, he struggled to remember it now.

“Plus, I just wanted to cook the last of what was in the fridge, in case we lose power.” He noted, moving to stir the mixture once again.

It made sense, it was smart. Shadow kept these remarks to himself, opting to stay quiet instead.

When the food was eaten and stored away, they faced boredom once more.

Shadow found himself on the couch again, laying on his stomach this time, hoping to fall asleep out of annoyance.

Sonic was somewhere around him, fidgeting or fussing with a Rubik’s cube from a nearby shelf.

As bored as he may be, the agent would not fall asleep. He barely slept in his own bed, for Chaos’ sake, it would be impossible to pass out here, on a coworker’s couch.

Lifting his head, he turned his gaze to the other. Sonic had given up the Rubik’s cube and was now fighting with a rather pilled cushion, attempting to remove lint off its surface. If only his admirers were here to see him lose a battle with lint. The thought made Shadow huff.

“Rouge used to force me to play board games when we were snowed in.” He spoke, sharing a memory – there were few he cherished, and this one was a part of those few.

“Oh yeah?” It brought a slight smile to the hero’s face, distracting him from his never-ending battle with the old pillow. “Seems on-brand for you two.”

“Mm. It was nice.” He cracked a small smile too, feeling the other’s joy affect him. He added; “if you tell her I said that, I’ll kill you.” His tone wasn’t serious enough, the premise of the threat too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

Sonic burst into laughter then, eyes crinkling with joy as he tilted his head backwards. It was contagious, endearing in a way the dark hedgehog could not describe. When his laughter faded, he replied; “I think I’ll have to risk it, it would be fucking hilarious to let her know you actually enjoy her company.”

“It would be cruel.” Shadow couldn’t wipe the smile off his face if he tried.

“’The perfect prank’, is what I think we should call it.” Shadow rolled his eyes at this, but he could not feel any annoyance at the words. “Alas, I’m not as smart as Rouge, I don’t have any board games.” Sonic sighed dramatically, swinging his feet in boredom.

“It’s fine.” Shadow replied nonchalantly, though he’d hoped there was something for them to do.

Sonic didn’t reply, gaze fading somewhere out into the distance. He bit his lip as if in thought, and Shadow could not find it in himself to look away. It was more entertaining than keeping his eyes closed, that’s for sure. Sonic’s legs went still then, his eyebrows furrowing. “Wait, hold on.” He snapped out of his thoughts, standing rapidly. “I think I have something.”

“A secret copy of monopoly? We both know you’d go bankrupt immediately.”

Shaking his head, Sonic extended a hand forward, urging the other to stand with him. The agent found himself just interested enough to take the offer, placing his hand in the other’s, letting himself be guided to another part of the small home.

Sonic’s room was surprisingly nice.

Shadow was sat on a fluffy white rug as Sonic shuffled through some drawers for something.

The bed was not made, the green sheets tossed about in an endearing way. The furniture was of a nice white oak, a matching set that felt unlike Sonic – it was a touch too coordinated to feel quite like his doing.

The walls were covered in pictures, cards, tickets, memories of all kinds taped to the white surface. There were bookshelves laden with books and trinkets, an old television with even older video game consoles surrounding it, their yellowed controllers strewn about.

Like the rest of the home, it was disorganized yet personalized, an insight into Sonic, one Shadow could not dislike.

“There it is!” He beamed triumphantly, hurrying to sit down in front of the black hedgehog. In his hands was a relatively small cardboard box, a rectangular one.

“It’s the only board game I have.” He explained as he took off the top, revealing a set of nicely stacked cards. There must’ve been about 50, all a nice red colour with white text peeking out. “Amy gave it to me a few years ago, never had the chance to use it.”

Shadow picked a card from the pack, reading the text printed on its surface “Your favourite vacation spot.” he mumbled under his breath, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Yeah, it’s like a ‘get to know the other person’ kind of game, I think.” The hero spoke as he handled a small instructions packet, flipping through its glossy pages at a worrying speed.

“I see.” He turned the card around in his hand – the other side was simply decorated by a white heart in its center. He felt himself grow warm, his cheeks surely becoming pink - it was hopefully concealed within the low light of the room.

“We don’t have to play if you don’t want to, I just thought it would be nice.” The black hedgehog lifted his gaze to look at the other; Sonic had a warm smile lining his lips, his features speaking of ease and nonchalance, a casualness Shadow envied in this moment.

“Don’t be ridiculous, we’ll play.” He wasn’t afraid of a few plastic cards, surely. Fidgeting with the one in his hand, he eyed the other. “But it’d help if we had… incentive.”

“Hm?” The blue hedgehog began, lifting his gaze from the booklet he seemingly barely read. It soon dawned on him what his friend had meant, and by the way this evening was headed, he was sure it wouldn’t hurt to indulge, just for once. It wasn’t like they could leave the house anyways, so being in a proper state of being was really unnecessary, if you thought about it. “Mmm, gotcha.” He nodded. “I don’t have much, I don’t know what you like, but I hope some cheap wine from a few years ago will do.” He smiled in a way that he hoped was apologetic. Here he was, offering low-end alcohol to Shadow, who probably owned some of the finest bottles in town (though that would be more because of Rouge than because of him).

“It will do.” He replied, that familiar passiveness returning on his features.

“Good, because I think Amy gave it to me as well, and I need to drink it soon before she realizes I haven’t touched it.”

Without another word (he spoke too much, always) he left the room, fetching the bottle from the back of some cupboard, as well as the only two wine glasses he owned.

Returning, he settled the glasses on the wood floor, besides the carpet. The bottle was quickly opened, its contents carefully tossed into the two glasses.

Shadow took a sip, and to the other’s relief, he did not recoil. (The thought of it mortified Sonic). His lips curved into a slight smile as he remarked; “I think the most surprising thing about tonight is that you own proper wine glasses.”

“I’m full of surprises.” Sonic spoke as he sipped his drink, the odd bitter taste coating his throat. It wasn’t entirely repulsive; he’ll give it that much. And it was all they had, so it would do well.

The wine flowed more easily after a few sips. An unfamiliar warmth held him loosely, a fuzziness in his limbs that made the hero smile brighter, laugh easier.

He could see the wine starting to loosen the other, though Shadow’s tolerance surely outshined his own. Still, the agent seemed calmer than he had all night, his usually unpleasant demeanor switching towards something more easy, friendly.

Sonic would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see more of that person, a peek behind the curtain of a closed off hedgehog.

“Right, I have ‘favourite colour’.” Shadow huffed at the card, rolling his eyes.

“What’s so bad about that?” Sonic pouted, eager to know the other’s favourite colour. Small as it may be, it intrigued him to peer into his friend’s mind.

“Please, I’m sure you know my favourite colour.” He shook his head as if this was an obvious thing – nothing about him had ever been ‘obvious’, not even his favourite colour.

“Couldn’t tell you if it would save my life.”

“Really?” The agent tilted his head to the side as his gaze poured into Sonic’s, making the hero take a larger sip of his wine than intended.

“Mhm.” He nodded as he tried not to choke on the wine. “You’re pretty secretive.” His fingers fidget with his glass, unable to stay still. “But you seem interesting. It’s why I thought this game would be nice.” He shrugged his shoulders at the confession, hoping the nonchalant motion undercut the hidden message and the oddly heavy emotion behind it.

I want to know you. I want to be your friend, and I want to spend time with you. I don’t know why.

“It’s green, I like green.” Shadow’s smile was soft, inviting.

“I like red.” Sonic blurted after, feeling the alcohol’s effect on his tongue, loosening his thoughts and easily spilling his words.

“Good choice.” The dark hedgehog practically purred, finishing the last swig of his glass. It was hastily topped off.

Sonic ran his fingers over the deck, choosing a card from the middle, or where he thought the middle was.

Pulling out a card, he read its prompt out loud; “Name the most attractive feature about your partner”. As soon as the words were spoken, Sonic felt himself flush red, embarrassment mixing with the alcohol to form a soft panic in his head. “Chaos, sorry, I didn’t know this kind of question would be in there”.

“I mean, a red deck of cards, decorated with white hearts?” Shadow remarked, seemingly unbothered. Pointing out the obvious only deepened Sonic’s embarrassment, the hedgehog finding solace in sipping wine – it was the only thing hiding his face. “Most importantly, I think the fact that Amy got this for you is enough to categorize it as something rather ‘romantic’.”

Shadow’s voice was like velvet in his ears.

The hero had defeated gods, and yet this felt like his death, more than any other wound he’d received.

The tips of his ears burnt, stomach twisting in his flustered state. “Ha, yeah, she’s got a bit of a thing for me, doesn’t she?” he hoped it deflected from their current situation.

“You’d be a fool not to notice it.” He spoke, swirling around the red liquid in his now half-empty glass. “I can’t blame her, you know, you have a really charming smile.”

The compliment was like a brick to the face, it was sudden, unexpected – if Sonic had been drinking, he would’ve surely spat it all out.

A compliment was one thing, yes, but a compliment from Shadow, of all people? He didn’t think it possible.

“Thank you.” He mumbled as he downed the rest of his bitter drink, hoping the last few swigs would offer him the courage to flirt back, to say something. “For what it’s worth, you have a really nice smile too. I don’t think I’ve had the chance to see it, like, properly.” He was speaking a bit too fast, words slurring ever-so-slightly. “Yaknow, till today.” He placed his glass down. “So, yeah… thanks for that.”

It was messy, embarrassing, unlike him, and yet, Shadow did not flea (it wasn’t as though he could). Instead, he started laughing. A warm and rich sound, a pure one – if Sonic wasn’t there to witness it, he’d deny its existence. But, no, it was really happening. Shadow was throwing his head back in laughter, mirth tickling the air around him.

And the hero forgot what they’d just been discussing, unable to do anything but watch the scene unfolding before him.

It felt forbidden, private.

“So, I take it that’s my best feature then?” He spoke when his laughter died down, an uncharacteristic grin plastered on his face. His teeth were sharper than Sonic’s, and he had fangs, sticking out ever-so-slightly. It was almost as intoxicating as the wine.

“One hundred percent.” Sonic affirmed, feeling a mix of giddiness and carelessness brought by the blending of wine and pleasantries (some could say he was even developing a crush here; if asked, he’d deny it).

“Thank you.” It was sincere.

“And you’d say my best feature iiiissss?” He held his hand out to Shadow, silently urging him to finish the sentence.

“Well, you’ve already given me smile, I suppose it’d be cheap for me to say the same.” He took a big sip – there wasn’t much wine left. “I guess I’d have to say… your eyes.”

“My eyes?” He tilted his head in question.

“They are my favourite colour after all.” He noted, calling back to their earlier conversation.

And if Sonic hadn’t been blushing before, he certainly was now. With no wine glass to hide his embarrassment, he pretended to look elsewhere, feeling that newly familiar burn tickle every inch of his body.

There was silence for a few moments, but for the first time, it did not feel awkward. It was still heavy, yes, but it was somehow comfortable, and perhaps it could even be described as pleasant?

The next thing Sonic felt was a hand upon his chin, pulling him back towards the other. He felt his ears pinning back, unable to hide his flushed state any longer.

Shadow held his chin firmly in between his gloved fingers, gently coercing him to gaze at him, and only him.

The air was hot, their heavy breaths stained with the cheap alcohol they’d hastily consumed.

Before they knew it, they’d leaned into each other – stained lips pressed gently to one another, in a softness that spoke of firsts.

Sonic had felt fear, excitement, elation, and yet, none of those emotions had elevated his heartbeat this much. He’d run faster than the wind, and still, his heart did not pump so fast.

In this moment, however, the hero could feel it thrum inside its cage harder than ever before, his blood rushing everywhere, to anywhere except is head.

Shadow’s grip was unwavering as he led them down a path of no return, deepening their kiss into something more sinful.

Sonic had barely known the existence of Shadow’s fangs, and yet here they were, nipping at his skin, gently scratching him in a way that made his head spin.

It was sloppy, unpracticed, yet so so delightful – they felt no remorse indulging each other in something so sweet, something seemingly forbidden.

It was only when the air wore thin that they split apart, foreheads connected as they caught their fleeting breaths. Hearts beating out of their cages, they kept at it, losing themselves in their new-found passion, drinking the other in, sharing the same air again and again until they were too tired to do so.

Laying on the carpet, their head spun with the low-quality wine and their sudden thirst for each other. As their eyelids began to feel heavier, they drifted towards a dreamless sleep, their hands interlaced, their shoulders touching.

The bottle of wine now sat empty; their dirtied glasses discarded along with the card game. It was a miracle they hadn’t stained the carpet.

And when morning came, when a white sun and a snow covered land greeted them, and a small headache clawed at the back of their heads, they could not find it in themselves to regret their actions.

A/N

>so happy i could get this fic out on time omg. as always, any interaction is appreciated, and i'd love to hear yer thoughts!! (think of it as a present for me <3)

>have a lovely end of your year, and an even better start of a new one!

#myr writes #my fics #my writing #sonadow #shadow #sonic #shadnic #shadow x sonic #sonic x shadow

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polutrope · 5 months

Note

Oh my God Daemags + ice skating pretty please?

Here you are @imakemywings and @i-did-not-mean-to! 1.1k words of everyone's favourite nerdy gays. No warnings other than a couple soft expletives and one suggestive remark. Context: In this AU, Daeron is Luthien's brother. Daemag have the "And they were roommates" arc. This is about 6 months into their romantic relationship.

“I think we should go on a date.”

Daeron stilled the chopsticks supporting a cascade of rice noodles over his steaming bowl of pho and wrinkled his nose. “Isn’t this a date?”

“Like an actual date. This is just us being too lazy to cook.”

“Dates are expensive.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

“Oh no no. I told you I don’t like it when you get all charitable.” Daeron glared and lifted the noodles to his mouth. “I have money,” he grumbled around a slurp.

“Great,” said Maglor, exasperation mounting, “then why do you care if it’s— never mind. I thought we could go skating at Ivrin Square.”

“Skating?” Daeron’s face twisted in disapproval. “Oh come on Mags, that is so silly. Not to mention what a waste of energy it is cooling the ice… you know temperatures are 3 degrees above average this winter?”

Maglor reached across the table and smacked his boyfriend’s arm affectionately. “Get over yourself, Dae-bae. I’m taking you skating and you’re gonna have fun.”

Shrieks of glee and the scrape of blades against ice filled the square as a crowd of skaters looped round and round the large Christmas tree in the middle of the rink.

“Someone is definitely going to crash into that thing,” said Daeron, tipping his chin in the direction of the tree. “Dammit, these things are so uncomfortable!” He shoved a foot into his rental skate.

Maglor snugged Daeron’s scarf around his neck and pulled him forward for a kiss. Daeron made a sound of protest but didn’t push him off. “It’s a good thing you’re so cute when you’re cranky,” said Maglor, then affecting a posh British accent, “Dost thou require help with thy boot, Prince Daeron?”

Daeron snorted. As he laced up his skate, he muttered teasingly, “You’re such a nerd.”

“So says renowned local history podcaster Daeron Singh-Goel! Oh, and please remind me which of us studies Aramaic on work time?”

“Akkadian, not Aramaic.” Daeron tied a bow on his second skate. “I’ve told you this like a hundred times.”

“Whatever, they’re both equally dead.” Daeron opened his mouth to protest but Maglor leapt up, dragging Daeron with him. “You ready?”

They shuffled awkwardly to the rink entrance. “So,” said Maglor, bracing himself with one arm on either side of the gate, “when was the last time you went skating?”

“Uuh, I dunno, Lúthien dragged me to Aelin Uial when it froze over last winter. Maybe February? Why?”

“Mmhm. And are you… good at it?”

“I mean I know how to stop and skate backwards and stuff.”

“Cool.” He slipped Daeron a smile and grasped for his hand. “Come on, then!”

“Maglor. Do you know how to skate?”

“Sure!” Maglor fixed an enthusiastic grin on his face. “How hard can it be?”

“Oh my god,” Daeron said, as he was dragged onto the ice. Almost immediately, he was straining to hold Maglor upright.

“I can’t believe you don’t know how to skate!” Daeron shouted, guiding Maglor to brace himself on the flimsy plexiglass fencing. “This was your idea!”

“Yeah, and I know how much you love being better than me at something.” Maglor yanked him into am embrace. “See? I’m already holding myself up.”

“I am holding you up,” Daeron said, “which is really not easy considering you’re half a foot taller.”

“More than half a foot, I think. Come on, Dae, show me your fancy tricks.”

Daeron groaned, but slid his hands down Maglor’s arms to clasp both hands, then began to slowly pull him backwards. “All right, good. No, no! Keep your feet together. Yes, like that, toes in. No, not that in. And look at something that’s not moving— no, don’t look at me.”

“You love this,” Maglor whispered.

Daeron ignored him. “All right, we’re gonna turn now, easy. Just keep your weight balanced— wait, no!— aaahh! Ow!”

In an instant, they were horizontal on the hard ice, Maglor laughing gleefully and Daeron sputtering a string of curses that only made Maglor laugh harder, especially considering the number of small children dodging them.

“You did that on purpose!” Daeron cried, scrambling to one knee. “Get up, get up!” He yanked Maglor to a seated position. “That’s dangerous! We have knives on our feet. Get up! And stop laughing like a madman, someone is going to think we’re drunk.”

But no one seemed to be under that impression as far as Maglor could tell. The other skaters wobbled and glided past them with amused smiles. “Fine, fine,” he said. “I’ll do better staying up for you.”

“Oh my god.” Daeron rolled his eyes. “Are you drunk?”

“Of course not. I’m just having fun.”

Daeron took both his hands and looked at him with resigned affection. “You’re so crazy. Come on,” he held out an arm to act as leverage, “get up.”

It was only once upright that Maglor registered the smarting of his hip and knee, so he stuck to the sidelines for a while after that. Daeron, as predicted, could not resist the temptation to show off a little. Maglor smiled as he swooped past him, throwing in the occasional flourish with his arms. And as it turned out, once you got the hang of it, skating round and round wasn't that difficult.

It was also rather boring after about ten minutes, and Maglor found himself singing along to the carols blasting on the speakers.

“You know I can hear you all the way on the other side,” Daeron said, sliding up beside him.

Maglor raised his voice in answer. “A beautiful night, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland.”

A passer-by whooped and clapped. “All right!”

“…to sing a love song, while we stroll along…” Maglor reached for Daeron’s hand.

“Now you’re showing off,” Daeron said.

“Come on, Dae, I need a harmony— He’ll say, ‘are you married?’, we’ll say, ‘no man, but you can do the job when you’re in town!’”

Daeron pursed his lips in a way that said he was trying very hard to resist joining in.

“Later ooon, we’ll conspire, as we dreeeam by the fire, to face unafraid, the plans that we’ve made.”

Daeron relented, and together they chorused the last lines: “Walking in a winter wonderland.”

A family on the sidelines cheered and applauded. No more able to resist the draw of an audience than Maglor was, Daeron smirked and guided Maglor in a cautious twirl.

They both laughed as Maglor narrowly avoided another fall.

“So, are you having fun?” Maglor asked.

Daeron huffed and said, “Yeah, yeah. I guess,” then gave Maglor a quick kiss before gliding backwards and launching spiritedly into the next song.

#daeron #maglor #daemags #daemag #holiday prompts #modern au #beleria au #my fic

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painedpen · 7 months

Text

The people have spoken.

Peaceful Hope’s Peak:

So this whole AU is based on the idea of the butterfly effect. One small detail can change the whole story.

What would have happened if the students had more time to solidify relationships before Monokuma started with the motives?

Hope’s Peak was relatively peaceful until that first motive was released, and even then Sayaka only acted on it due to fear and desperation. I think that of Monokuma had waited like a week to present the motive videos, Sayaka would have had a deeper and more genuine connection with the other students, and she wouldn’t have tried to frame Makoto.

So basically, the game starts out exactly the same, except there’s more time for the students to mingle and get somewhat used to life in the school. Makoto has a couple of rough patches with people (*cough* Byakuya and Mondo *cough*) but overall everyone’s been getting along. Monokuma presents the first motive, and Sayaka has her breakdown. This time, however, it’s not just Makoto who goes to comfort her. Most of the students are trying to cheer her up and support her.

A couple of nights later, Sayaka comes pounding on Makoto’s door, telling her story about someone trying to break into her room. She’s extremely close to convincing Makoto, but she loses her nerve at the last second and breaks. She tells Makoto everything and, because Makoto is like Jesus or something, he forgives her immediately. Sayaka goes back to her room, and spends her night jamming out with Leon like she had promised.

Time passes. No one else tries anything due to the risk being too high, and positive feelings about their classmates as a whole. Taka and Mondo start on their Gay Shit™, now with the added bonus of Makoto not being traumatized and also participating in Gay Shit™ with them. Mondo and Chihiro are also getting along really well.

Second motive is introduced, and Taka immediately decides to share his secret with the class so that the Mastermind can’t use it against them. Spurred on by this decision, Mondo follows his example. Soon everyone’s sat down with each other, revealing their secrets and talking through them one by one. Group Therapy ensues.

Time passes, and Monokuma is getting really sick of this Found Family shit so he tries again. This time the motive is money. Here’s how this one goes down:

Monokuma: Whoever kills another student and gets away with it gets 10,000,00$ how about that?

Everyone: …

Everyone: Anyways-

Celeste ponders it for a minute, but at this point she’s too close with Chihiro to really consider it, so she painstakingly let’s it go. (Outing myself as a CelesHiro shipper because the aesthetics are just too good)

At this point Junko - the real one not Mukuro because Junko was chosen as the Mastermind for shock value and I do not approve - decides she has been away from her sewing machine for long enough and starts working on projects for all of her classmates. This means MAKEOVERS because I said so.

Last ditch effort, Monokuma reveals that Sakura is the traitor because she hasn’t killed anybody yet. Sakura’s like: “I’m really sorry but like he has my family so I didn’t really have a choice. He’ll probably kill me soon, but I’m not gonna kill any of you.” Kyoko and Makoto immediately decide that this isn’t acceptable, and decide to try and put an end to the killing game.

Big ass investigation takes place and the students enter their first Class Trial, everyone is still alive. Things happen and the Mastermind is revealed to be Jin Kirigiri because he would’ve made so much more sense than Junko, and if a single persona asks me to elaborate I will.

Everyone makes it out alive, and this tremendous victory is shown to be a beacon of Hope to the rest of the world. The Future Foundation is established, with far more power behind it this time, and Hope’s Peak is turned into a proper sanctuary for people who haven’t yet fallen into despair.

Bing Bang Boom everybody’s alive and the world is healing you’re welcome everybody.

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makaronypoflotskiofficial · 2 years

Text

do you ever wonder what really big guys think about

i’ll tell you.

you ever see a really big guy at the zoo? he’s there for a reason. it’s probably to win an internet argument. if he’s there with another big guy (yes they’re gay) then they’re both there to settle a real life argument.

like you’ve seen little guys. you know, he’s just a little guy. you know what they’re about. they’re all sorts of kinds. he could be at the zoo for the penguins, or the bird house, or the butterfly house. that’s a good one. or the polar bears. but big guys have a different purpose at the zoo. i’m talking about the biggest guy, the guys who are doing neck exercises at the gym because their bench press has stalled at just over 200kg and it’s finally time to start wearing that toilet seat thing and attaching weights to it and bobbing your head like you’re at a real slow motion concert and the music is pretty good but not good enough to dance, and everybody at the gym is in two categories: they either know what the big guy is doing because god they wish they were a big guy, or they have not a goddamn clue what the big guy is doing but accept it zealously because he’s like, the biggest guy. that gets you an immediate fastpass. big guy pass. you need to train your neck if you’re going bench press over 200kg. trust me, you’re gonna want to. i mean these guys train their neck before they train their traps, do you get what i am saying? that is how big. they drop their weights after a deadlift because setting them down is extra effort and they need that energy to be a big guy.

so they’re at the zoo, right. they’re at the zoo because when you’re a real big guy there’s not a ton of questions left for you to answer. you’ve pretty much answered them all. except there’s always that last question: is that other guy bigger than me? once you get to the neck training level you’ve got a little tire underneath your skull, like a little floaty for your head, and you gotta have the traps to match otherwise your head just floats away. and when there’s a bunch of big guys it’s just too complicated to figure out the biggest guy. everyone’s gonna have a big neck, big traps, big chest, big ass. just the biggest asses on the biggest guys. but they vary, right? one guy has a big ass, the other guy has a big ass, you start comparing and things get out of hand and you never really find out who the biggest guy is.

so you get someone else to make the judgement call. there’s one specific biggest guy who can do that. if you see a big guy or two at the zoo, follow them and you’re gonna end up at the gorilla exhibit. see, gorillas guys size each other up like, all the time. they’re always trying to figure out who the biggest guy is for like, all sorts of reasons. and they ignore regular humans, for the most part. but when they see a sufficiently big guy they go kinda bananas. they look at the traps, and if you got a big neck you gotta have the traps. if two big guys go the zoo, the gorilla is always going to freak out at the biggest guy. if he ignores you, wow, that stings.

don’t do this more than once in your life, by the way, potential big guys. you really make ‘em mad, and you shouldn’t do that to the biggest guy. it’s just rude and it’s not good for the animals. settle your bet if you really have to and then don’t hang around.

i know guys who know guys who’ve been banned from the zoo. i know guys who say they’ve been banned from the zoo. pretty big guys but i wasn’t there to see the three white light confirmation if you know what i mean.

#big guys #explanation #zoo #hello #workout #true story #squatposting

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transpunkhell · 2 years

Text

fuck it just posting my jargyle fic here

i dont have Ao3 so bear with me okay :,) also didnt realize how long this ended up sorry

fluff, confessions, little bit of a j*ncy breakup scene, being gay, LOTS of bong rips and endless weed ;)

Jonathan sat on the side of his bed. The moonlight cast a blue hue into his room, lighting his bedside in a melancholy manner. His face rested in his hands, slightly clammy from overthinking and the anxieties that followed. He should have been relieved, he thought to himself, but all he could do was repeat the scene over and over again in his head.

He had wanted to break up with Nancy. College was something he wanted to pursue, and he began to realize after the move to California that a long-distance relationship wouldn't work anymore. He just wasn't expecting Nancy to dump him first.

Except, he wasn't really being dumped, Jonathan rationalized to himself.

"It's not you, Jonathan, it's...girls. I think I'm more into girls. I'm sorry."

Those words looped endlessly in his mind.

It's not like he was disappointed. Again, he was sort of relieved that he didn't have to be the one to do it. It's just that the more he thought about why he fell out of love with Nancy, the more he struggled to understand exactly what his feelings were.

Jonathan dragged his hands down his face and groaned. He really didn't know how to sort his thoughts on this, and it fucking sucked. He didn't need this right now. He needed something else. He needed-

A familiar honking could be heard from outside. Immediately Jonathan perked up, donned his overshirt, and ran outside. He probably should've been quieter, considering it was almost 2 in the morning, but the persistent honks had probably woken up the entire street at that point.

Argyle continued to smash the horn even as Jonathan was sprinting towards the ever-so-familiar vehicle. He only stopped once his friend had hopped in and shut the door.

"Why do you have the van dude? Aren't you off right now?" Jonathan asked, a little out of breath from that sprint. It was somewhat normal for Argyle to show up at the house at night, but it wasn't normal at all for him to be so rowdy about it when everyone else was asleep. He was a bit of a klutz, sure, but he didn't usually go out of his way to be annoying. Maybe it was urgent, Jonathan mused to himself, though he sort of wished this could've waited until the morning.

"I forgot to turn in the keys," Argyle replied, playing with the keychains dangling from the ignition. "Plus, since you're kind of going through some shit right now, I brought you a surprise..."

Argyle reached toward the middle seats, but he seemed to struggle a little. Miffed, he cursed to himself under his breath, unbuckled his seatbelt, then twisted over to reach deeper toward the floor of the van to pull out a brand-new bong and grinder.

Jonathan was too surprised to speak, but Argyle continued. "So uh, I was gonna save this for your birthday, but I think you kinda need it now, so I'm driving us to my favorite place so we can take rips 'till the sun comes up. That cool?"

Jonathan put his hand to his forehead and smiled. "You're my best friend, man," he said. "The best."

Jonathan choked on milky-white smoke, struggling to breathe normally after taking such a big rip. He handed the bong to Argyle, who took it like he was impatient for it. He reached over to grab the lighter from Jonathan as well, and went to town. The brief moments of the lighter in action remained their only immediate light source, allowing them to see the smoke rise up the bong's neck for mere milliseconds. He held the hit in for a bit, then let it all out in a chaotic coughing fit. Trying to recover still even after passing the bong back to Jonathan, he laid down to look at the stars.

They both rested on top of the van. Argyle had parked on the shoulder of a cliffside road overlooking all of Lenora Hills. The houses, all nestled in the valley, were scarcely lit to vaguely match the starlit sky above them. It was a mildly-pretty sight as is, but it was a gorgeous scene for a couple of stoners.

Unfortunately for Jonathan, his mind could only race. The quiet gave him too much room to think about what had happened earlier, and the high only seemed to make the thoughts more intense.

Nancy coming out to him changed something, something in the way he thought about himself. The conversation repeated itself in his mind.

"How did you know?"

"...Know that I'm into girls?"

"Y-yeah."

It was insightful, learning how Nancy found out about herself. During the conversation, Jonathan focused mainly on Nancy's feelings and what she had to say. Even if they weren't together, he still loved her as a close friend and confidante. Understanding her and being there for her was important to him, more important than anything else in that moment.

But it was the way she described it, falling in love while queer. It was hard to recognize it at first, she said, but once she did, she knew she couldn't deny it. Wanting to spend all of your time with that one person, feeling butterflies when they touch you or hang a little too close for "just friends," thinking about what it would be like to tell them that you like them, and wondering the odds on them liking you back-

"Dude, are you even listening?"

Jonathan snapped out of it and looked at his friend, who was sitting back upright. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I was a little lost in thought."

"Spill it, man," Argyle punched him playfully. "Whatcha got?"

Jonathan put his hand through his hair and moved it down to nervously push on the back of his neck. He couldn't even figure out his feelings while sober, so now his words came out scrambled and disorganized.

"I think, uh, Nancy breaking up with me was good for me and all," he started. "I mean, um, I don't know. It was a good reason. Not that there really needs to be a, uh, reason, especially since I was gonna break up with her anyways. I don't know."

Jonathan lost his train of thought, but it's not like it mattered; he wasn't really saying much of anything, and he probably lost Argyle's attention way before. He took a few seconds to compose his thoughts.

"I think I've got a lot of new feelings to sort out," he sighed.

Argyle got that. He pat Jonathan on the back, causing his heart to flutter. His hand felt familiar, in a way that comforted him like a hug.

"Like...what?" Argyle asked, his stoner drawl more obvious than usual. His presence brought Jonathan's entire anxious being to a gradual rest. He knew he was safe to speak his mind here, so he took a breath and went on.

"I've been kind of looking into how I feel about other people. Romantically."

He paused to check if Argyle was still listening, maybe hoping that he wasn't. He was. In fact, their eyes met in a way that convinced Jonathan that he was getting Argyle's full attention. The bong rips were catching up to him—to both of them, really. Both of their tolerances had gone up from smoking pretty much every day, but the hits from the bong had permeated their bloodstreams in a way that the joints they shared in the past just couldn't compare to. It made Jonathan's next choice of words feel a little more emotionally weighted than he had wanted.

"I'm realizing I might not be so, uh, straight, either." Jonathan sighed and twiddled his thumbs. It should have felt good to confide in his best friend like this; he already knew Argyle was supportive of everything, especially being queer, but his anxiety sunk its fangs into him.

Worry physically manifested in his stomach, shooting toward his body's extremities and forcing the palms of his hands to sweat. His skin itched in anticipation of what Argyle would say next. He worried he was admitting this too openly, that he might've accidentally implied something bad, or even-

"Brooooo." Argyle interrupted his racing thoughts. A sweet smile appeared on his face as he continued. "I was literally thinking the exact same thing."

Jonathan straightened up. The haze in his brain made it hard for him to comprehend it entirely, but the butterflies he felt nearly made him vomit now.

"Like uh, being gay and stuff," Argyle continued. "Maybe not gay, but like...bisexual or something. I think I definitely like dudes and dudettes all the same, man...but maybe I like dudes just a li'l more."

Jonathan's mind tried to pull back instances where Argyle seemed interested in other guys. He couldn't come up with anything. Not that he needed to, of course, as Argyle's feelings were often an enigma to him, but he couldn't help but try and look for the hints. Any moments of potential yearning, specific discussions, whatever, were being sorted in his mind at light speed.

"How did you find out?" Jonathan asked without thinking. Immediate regret.

"Trust me man, you don't wanna know," Argyle coughed, having just taken another hit.

"Not true," Jonathan countered. "You're my best friend, dude. I'm really grateful for everything you do for me. I'll do the same for you."

Argyle ran his fingers through his long hair, trying to get his words together. In a moment that felt almost out of character to Jonathan, he saw worry on his best friend's face. He reassured Argyle by wrapping his arm around him. Argyle leaned in, resting his head on Jonathan's shoulder.

The physical contact felt exciting. That moment felt like it could have lasted forever. Argyle was warm, a nice contrast to the nighttime chill, and it only made him want to hold him closer. For a while, even. Jonathan mused ideas of them holding each other in ways they hadn't before, and he found himself yearning for it all.

Fuck, he thought to himself.

The realization hit Jonathan like a truck. His conversation with Nancy popped up in his mind again, as if the thought itself was hammering the nails in the coffin of his heterosexuality. He had a crush on his best friend, and he was crushing hard. Putting those words to his feelings brought a wave of dread over him.

Jonathan tried to reach back in his memories to when this crush started. Maybe it was the time they spent on the road, with the endless stretches of brown and gray in the landscape giving way to loneliness. He reached earlier to when they started smoking together, or when he first met Argyle at Surfer Boy Pizza. He remembered the beating of his heart, the shakiness of his breath, the thoughts that flooded his mind every single time they were together.

He recognized how obvious it was the whole time now, and cursed himself for the new Byers pattern of falling in love with your best friend. He ran through feelings of guilt over whether he was crushing while he and Nancy were still a thing. Was it even rational to feel guilty over this, even after they broke up? Jonathan's anxiety fell into a catastrophic spiral, enhanced by the circular thinking of a heady high.

Argyle cut through Jonathan's thoughts again, but this time it stopped him in his tracks entirely.

"It was kind of you, man."

Three seconds of silence passed as Jonathan tried to pull himself together.

"Wh-what?" he uttered, absolutely dumbfounded. His grip on Argyle tightened a little.

"Yeah man, I think you're really neat. More than neat, even. Magical." Argyle held the bong close, almost like a stuffed animal. "Like, when we smoke, I want to feel that kinda vibe forever, man."

Jonathan forgot about his breathing. He thought, Did Argyle just say he likes me? Did he just call me...magical?

He chuckled awkwardly. He instinctually dropped his head to hide his blushing cheeks, but it wasn't like Argyle could really see it in the dark.

Argyle moved away from Jonathan. He anchored his hand in his hair, body language stiffening with visible anxiety. "That's probably, totally a weird thing to say, I know. Sorry dude."

Jonathan's head shot back up, and he responded immediately. "It's not, man. I swear. I mean..."

The high clouded his better judgement, and all he could focus on was the realization that he liked his best friend. He really liked Argyle. He didn't know what he wanted, or what was appropriate to do, but it didn't seem to matter. His impulses decided to take the plunge.

"I think you're kind of..." Jonathan hesitated. "...magical, too."

Argyle's eyes widened. Jonathan could really see his face light up this time, even in the dark, and it made his heart swell with joyful affection.

"You mean that?" Argyle asked.

"I really do."

Jonathan placed a hand on Argyle's thigh. A jolt of excitement—and maybe a little bit of panic—shot through his body. He was a little bolder now than what he was used to, but he didn't care anymore.

"Are we, like, gay for each other?" Argyle blurted.

They both laughed it off. To Jonathan, it felt like a dream with how easy this was actually going. He thought he was being so awkward right now, but it was with his best friend, so none of that mattered. All that he needed right now was to keep Argyle close.

Argyle placed the bong down and rested his head on Jonathan's lap. The extended physical contact was thrilling now. He brought his hands down to gently comb through Argyle's long hair.

"Hold my hands, man," Argyle mumbled. "I just gotta see if it feels right."

"Okay, man!" Jonathan giggled and intertwined his fingers with Argyle's. His hands were big and cozy, warming up Jonathan's cold palms immediately.

Argyle chuckled to himself, and spoke up again. "Yeaaaahhh," he squeezed Jonathan's hands. "This totally feels right."

Jonathan couldn't get his grin off his face, even if he tried. As they remained close, he took in the ambience of Lenora Hills early in the morning. The first birdsong of the day echoed through the trees. Gentle winds moved past the couple and pushed their hair over their faces. A few more houses in the valley had begun to flick their lights on. The sound of his own breathing, almost in sync with Argyle's, brought a slow rhythm to the moment.

Finally, at the cliffside, with his newfound love, his mind was at peace.

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