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revenantghost · 1 year

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Tristamp Wolfwood is a bit different than his counterparts, yeah? And I don’t mean that in a bad way, Orange is going somewhere with it, but it’s very different from what they’ve done with Vash and Meryl imo. With them, I feel like we got a glimpse of pre-canon. With Wolfwood... Orange is up to something, and it goddamn terrifies me. I love him dearly, he has some many moments that make me smile and go, “Yeah, that’s Wolfwood, my beloved asshole.” But it’s different. Oh so very different.

I’m just gonna point out a few examples of things I think are different enough to note here (drawing comparisons from Trimax since that was the source for Tristamp, but I’ll try not to spoil much--just don’t Google names you don’t recognize), and then go a little off the rails with a couple theories (spoilers there, click the read more at your own peril). This is DEFINITELY not everything, and maybe my takes are a bit off, idk. If there’s something you’ve picked up on, definitely feel free to add it!

Well, here goes:

My dude is a mess. Wolfwood is typically put together and some would call him smooth (he’s a mess inside always, though) in his other incarnations. Orange pointed out at Sakuracon that the characters are supposed to look younger and more immature in Tristamp, and Wolfwood specifically is supposed to look like he can’t dress himself (lmao). They said they have their reasons but just didn’t have time to explore them in canon. So, I can make assumptions, but I’ll wait to see what comes in the future.

Another one that staff talked about in a recent interview is that Wolfwood is technically a priest according to his contract, but he calls himself an undertaker. Yeah, yeah, edgelord Tristamp Wolfwood and all that, but I’ve seen people call back to how, in the manga, it’s Vash that always takes the time to bury the dead. Wolfwood even chews him out a bit for this. But it’s literally in our introduction to him in this version. He carries the weight of the dead with him enough to make it part of his title, and that’s different for him.

I could be misremembering with this one. But I distinctly remember being surprised when I read Trimax because Wolfwood going into the Eye of Michael seemed more of his own choice than it is in Tristamp (not that a literal child could consent to, you know, torture and abuse)? But either way Wolfwood loathes the Eye of Michael from the get-go here, he doesn’t stay by choice and actively tries to escape. Just like all these choices he makes in Tristamp (which is MASSIVELY different in general), he does it for someone else. He can’t try to escape again, because they have Livio.

Speaking of! Livio!!! This was another thing that caught me by surprise going from Tristamp to Trimax, their relationship is so much different here, so much softer and it hurts in a beautiful way. I feel like less is more here to avoid spoilers, but this introduction pre-Trimax-canon and any future conflict with this backstory... is very different.

Holy hell, a moment like this happening so early?! Vash and Wolfwood having ideological differences and not understanding each other takes up so much time in Trimax. But over the course of three episodes, we go from Wolfwood killing someone that Vash wanted to save (props to Tristamp for making that gutpunch even more personal, ouch--though points deducted for not having the, “Shoot,” moment there), to Vash seeing how very similar they are and getting a grasp of why Wolfwood is the way he is. Wolfwood is so much softer in Tristamp. He’s way more emotional, he cares so deeply for things outside of himself, and he doesn’t have that apathetic bitterness. Staff have said that our main characters will be a lot more recognizable post-timeskip, so some shit is gonna happen to this man, but this is a fundamental shift in the early days of their relationship.

AGAIN!!! Wolfwood is doing this whole mission, betraying Vash, to save the orphanage. He didn’t have to listen to Vash trying to save the sandsteamer. It doesn’t matter if Vash is pissy if Wolfwood blew up the ship to save the orphanage, because that’s his end goal. He has a giant laser that just blew through an entire giant worm, this ship is nothing. Wolfwood’s trying to cling to the monster that he sees himself as, trying to stay the Punisher, but he’s not. He already has enough faith in Vash to trust him with everything he cares about. This takes a lot of development time for Wolfwood to trust Vash like this in Trimax--and even in the very end, he still doesn’t trust Vash with this. (If you know, you know.)

AGAIN!!!!! Wolfwood cares!!! He does not need to question if Vash is sure, if he thinks he can make up with or convince Knives or whatever, in fact he shouldn’t. He should give Vash no reason to question getting to July. But Wolfwood, be careful, your feelings are showing. Wolfwood’s getting worried about Vash. Even though all he needs to do is keep his head down and get this dork to July.

This was never Trimax Wolfwood’s motivation. Whatever drove him left him hollow and empty, he did not care. Even when he saw things starting to go south and he wanted out, Vash ended up being right: he was too much of a coward to do anything about it. (If you know, you know.) I had wondered, after Legato tried to bulldoze everything he loved, why the hell didn’t Wolfwood just desert the mission and team up with the gang. He already has such a deep connection with them. But this would be why.

WOLFWOOD IS NO LONGER CONTRACTED BY THE EYE OF MICHAEL AT THE END OF THE SEASON??? Some people say that Wolfwood still works for them, but tbh for what reason? They’re about to end the world. And then what about this line? He wouldn’t exactly have a choice, would he? I do think we’re gonna meet Chapel (right before Livio shoots himself, you’ll hear a voice and see a silhouette (not Razlo, though he’s there too) that seems to be a “new” character), and Wolfwood might end up working under him for some fucked up reason... But if not, this changes everything. It already changes everything considering how big Wolfwood escorting Vash to Knives is. But that’s done now. And because Vash saw right through him the first time, if Wolfwood comes back to do the same thing again, it might feel cheap and a little silly.

MERYL!!! Trimax is basically the Vash and Wolfwood show, right? The girls are around, but mainly their interactions are with Vash. But he and Meryl interact so much just over the course of twelve episodes. They even have that adorable group shot. She matters enough that he came back to rescue her, and the two of them worry about Vash together in the finale. Who knows what happened post-finale, but Wolfwood’s self isolation is already shot to hell. He’s more big brother Nico than he’d had the chance to be in awhile, he has so many people to care for.

So the danger has passed, Vash’s roots are back inside of him, the orphanage should be fine. But Wolfwood comes back for them. Yeah, yeah, the stupid cigarette excuse, but this is Wolfwood, not Vash. He didn’t come back because of the cigarette debt and we all know it. (Also kinda hoping that him saying what he does about fighting Knives being crazy is foreshadowing for some ridiculous 1v1 fight between them, had to throw that in there)

Now, theories Trimax spoiler time bby (I’ll also post any corrections under the cut):

EDIT 1: I was bonkers wrong on the Tristamp timeline (it takes place from May 25th to July 21st, not including the epilogue), so I just deleted that bit from the og post. I cannot remember where I got that number in my brain.

They are doing something with this man and I hate it as much as I love it. Every other character can go off and follow similar paths but they just nuked the entirety of Wolfwood’s storyline by having him be finished getting Vash to Knives and him choosing to trust Vash so goddamn early. And in less than a week of canon time!!! ORANGE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!

They’ve knocked everything out of the park so far, I had so many concerns about what they were doing while watching, and they squashed most of them. So I choose to have faith that Orange has a brilliant plan that will crush my emotions in mind. It will probably eviscerate us just like Trimax did. But I have two theories as to how this could go:

First: And by far the most likely: all roads lead to that goddamned couch. They changed a ton of things, but just to make it all hurt in a new and exciting way. Don’t get me wrong, this was the final straw in making Trimax one of my favorite manga ever--Wolfwood’s character arc is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever read. I’m a bit nervous because we’ve already shifted that arc so much, but there’s a lot of room to fuck us all up in this one. I imagine the final confrontation will still be between the two brothers, but I imagine the context will be different.

Wolfwood’s already chosen to spare Livio, so that won’t be the clincher, but there are so many things that Wolfwood wants to fight for now to use against him. Something in the timeskip will probably firm up his ideals to be the opposite of Vash’s in a different way than before, but I imagine we’ll get at least a season of them being goofy and learning how to live and regain their humanity together before they’re couched. :’) And now the girls are going to be a bigger part of it to make the grief all that greater :’))) Thanks in advance, Orange :’))))))

Second: No couch??? I know, then what would be the point? He’s doomed in every universe, how will it be as powerful if they don’t do that here??? And I agree, I think this is way less likely. But Wolfwood has already accepted the power of anime Jesus friendship into his life, and that’s a huge part of what lead to his death. Not that I don’t think it’s still likely for Tristamp Wolfwood to think it’s too much to ask Vash to step away from the conflict with Knives for whatever his personal struggles are, but... man that sandsteamer incident is foreshadowing something and I’m afraid. It shifted so much in a way that is so significant, I feel like I’m not doing it justice with my words.

Speaking of possible foreshadowing: Wolfwood isn’t the product of random experimenting like he was in Trimax, he’s the product of plant experimentation. And Vash can heal plants. Again, that’s a big ol’ stretch, as I think that they made the Gung Ho Guns a product of plant experimentation to try and explain the magic powers they all have, and it’s a very smooth idea imo. But it haunts me. Also, given that Conrad has probably been kept alive through fucked up plant methods and how long Rollo remained the same, and Conrad said the only flaw in his experiments were that they had to eat and drink... does Wolfwood and Gung Ho Gun friends have an extended lifespan??? Okay, getting off topic, sorry :’D

Basically, Wolfwood has already made huge leaps and bounds in trusting Vash, even listening to Meryl, and growing a heart for humanity. To the point I was half-afraid this guy was going to die in the finale, because we’ve already seen so much of his character arc. (It would have been a poor choice and I’m happy it didn’t happen EVEN IF I’M STILL AFRAID). And he’s based off of Trimax Wolfwood quite heavily! You can see it in the core of his personality still!!! WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH HIM???

I doubt either of these ideas are going to be quite right, watch as Orange works in a secret, third thing that I can’t even imagine lmao. But this has been driving me absolutely bonkers and I had to share. This is still Wolfwood, and I have a feeling he’s only going to be more and more of the lovable asshole from here on out. But I have no idea where we’re going with it.

Holy hell, this was a long post. If you made it to the end of my insane ramblings well, uh... congrats??? I hope it was somewhat worth the read???? I’m so sorry?????? Thank you??????????

#Trigun #Trigun Stampede #Tristamp #Trimax #Trigun Maximum #Trigun Meta #I'm so tired I'm sorry about any and all typos #And also if this is stupid #It's just been GNAWING AT ME #WOLFWOOD I LOVE YOU BUT YOU SCARE ME #Long Post #My Trigun Meta

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gasolinerainbowpuddles · 11 months

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A Weight Off Your Shoulders ║ ⒸⓄⓁⓁⒺⒸⓉⒾⓄⓃⓈ

| A WEIGHT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS | part of the A Weight Off Your Shoulders collection ║ series masterlist ║ main masterlist ║ | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x plus sized!fem!neighbor

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 7.0k | CONTENT: age gap (Joel mid 40s, neighbor late 20s), cheating, negative body image, negative self-talk, discussions of body image struggles, the savagery of puberty, but mostly just indulgent pussy worship lmao, etc.

| SYNOPSIS: [AU no outbreak] After finding out your fiance was cheating on you with the younger, skinnier intern at his work, you pack up and head home to Texas where you meet your friendly DILF neighbor Joel. He doesn’t seem to mind your fuller physique, but you’re still plagued with insecurities that have followed you for most of your life. Can he make you forget about all that for just a moment or will you stay wracked with self-conscious, negative thoughts? Spoiler: We all know Joel is a smooth talker and is down to do whatever it takes to convince you that you’re perfect just the way you are.

✧this is the first installment of a oneshot collection✧ ✧◦◦║ Part 2 ║ Part 3 ║ Part 4 ║ Part 5 ║ Part 6 ║◦◦✧

The moving van’s AC went out about 75 miles ago, and you can’t bother getting too upset about it. It goes right along with the absolute dogshit spectacle your life has become. The sweat trickles down your back as you keep your eyes focused on the road. The GPS says it’s not too much longer. Your ass is sore from sitting and driving all day, for the past three days.

It should’ve been two at most - more like one and a half at even a leisurely pace - but the engine had started smoking and making an awful clicking sound somewhere in between Colorado and Oklahoma. You waited 6 hours for the moving truck company to meet you and switch out vehicles. At least the van hadn’t gone up in flames and destroyed all your messily packed cardboard boxes.

The string of down-on-your-luck events provided you with some sort of distraction from the reason you were cooped up in this incinerator of a vehicle and heading home to Texas where your parents still lived, a far cry from the life you had carved out with your fiance - ex-fiance, you correct yourself – in Colorado.

Ah, yes. Mike. Michael, you think to yourself bitterly. He always hated whenever anyone used his full name instead of his nickname. You were at that level of petty, insulting him in any way that you could. You knew you’d never get close to matching his efforts at hurting you, though.

It had been a great relationship for the first few years. You had met him at his job where you were logging unpaid internship hours so you’d have something to put on your resume when you graduated with your finance degree. Math and economics had always been easy and interesting to you, although it didn’t make you very popular at parties.

Mike– No, MICHAEL, had been sweet and teased you about how you were “too cute” to be an accountant. You had thought to yourself on numerous occasions that accountants could really use a PR overhaul. Most of your coworkers were nerdy introverts with a dark sense of humor and a penchant for getting ripshit wasted after The Hellfire Summit was over. (That’s what you all called Tax Day.)

But you weren’t “too cute” to be an accountant. Too cute for Michael, maybe, but definitely not some knockout. You had always been on the heavier side starting in middle school. You were vertically challenged, which meant there was a lot less real estate for any additional poundage you racked up through puberty. Your mom had done her best to not give you a complex, but you weren’t stupid and it wasn’t hard to figure out why she was so insistent on you being in sports throughout most of the year. You had taken to soccer pretty quickly, and the endless running kept your weight from climbing into absolute fat pig territory. Not that you didn’t think of yourself that way regardless.

While all your other teammates cried about their boobs not growing - something you had absolutely no way of relating to - you cursed the puberty gods for not giving you a growth spurt of 6” so you could be tall and lean like your friends. By the time college rolled around, you just stuck to running as a stress reliever, but it wasn’t the same level of activity that had kept you smaller throughout high school. The bathtub jungle juice frat parties and 2 am pizza slices didn’t really help matters, either. You put on a respectable “freshman 8,” but your hips and ass delivered it as more of a “freshman 23.”

Michael always talked about how he liked “somebody that didn’t just order a salad,” whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. You didn’t pay it much mind, though, when your sex life was pretty good together. He made you come more than other guys you’d been with, but it wasn’t hard to exceed expectations when the bar was so low it was in hell. And yet, Michael had found a way to sink it down ever farther.

You should’ve seen it coming. In hindsight it was so painfully obvious that something had changed for the worse. You had chalked it up to him getting nerves after FINALLY proposing to you. You were so happy when he finally asked you to marry him. Even his 15 year old son from a previous relationship had made a remark about his dad “finally growing some balls” and proposing.

A wash of sadness rolled over you at the thought of Ethan. He was such a good kid, and you had become attached to him after being with Michael for so many years. You’d moved in together, and Ethan thoughtfully cleared off a shelf of his video game things so that you’d have a nice spot in the living room for some of your DVDs and books. How on earth that was the child of the piece of shit cheating scumbag Michael was beyond you. Ethan must have taken after his mother more than you previously knew.

Michael had been married before and had Ethan with his ex-wife Patty. They had just “grown apart” as he’d put it. They got together when they were young, and it wasn’t until his 38th birthday party that he realized they just weren’t meant for each other anymore.

You’d been upset at first to learn that Michael had started seeing you before he had “made it official” with Patty that things were over. You weren’t into the idea of being the other woman, and you didn’t blame Patty for hating your guts. Of course she would assume that you knew they were still married and that they had a young son together. You were the homewrecker whore, and it was humiliating to tag along to family events where Patty and some of their mutual friends gave you a not-so-subtle stink eye.

The friends that did readily accept you weren’t exactly top of the line human beings. Luke had clapped you on the back once after having three too many beers and cackled about how he knew Michael wasn’t crazy for switching things up and breaking things off with Patty “for you.” When you shrugged his sloppy hand off your shoulder and asked what the fuck he was on about, his shit eating grin was the icing on the cake when he slurred, “Well’ya knowwwwww what’hey say, dontcha?” You shook your head, nonplussed and not really interested in learning “what they say.” He giggled and leaned in close when he revealed that “gotta be takin’ care’uhhh him ‘cause they say thah big girls give’thuh bes head ‘cuz they’re al-huways hungry.”

Trevor had intervened before you slammed your mojito into Luke’s Neanderthal brain. “Hey man, fuck off. Don’t be saying shit like that. Fuckin’ rude, dude.” Luke had made a fuss about how he was “jusss jok-eeen,” but Trevor wasn’t having it. “Whatever, man. Everybody knows you don’t go around talking about girl’s bodies, you fucking idiot. And you’re watching too much porn if you think she’s fat. She’s normal, man. Real women aren’t walking around like stick figures with tits and ass glued on.”

You groaned while Luke howled with laughter at Trevor’s defense of you. Calling you fat was somehow worse than big girl. Luke hadn’t said fat. Trevor hadn’t either, but his off the cuff remark that clarified what “type of big” you obviously were only drove home the idea that you took up too much space, one way or another.

Michael had taken a while to propose, and he always claimed that, while he loved you with his whole entire heart, he was nervous about getting married a second time. He started getting snippier with you and not wanting to have sex as often. His job was stressful, and he had been working tons of overtime to help pay for his part of the wedding. Thank god you kept your finances separate and never actually did walk down that aisle.

His late nights at the office were verified by his bigger paychecks, and you didn’t have a reason to be suspicious. You did think it was a little strange when he started getting up early to go to the gym so he’d “look nice for the wedding.” But hey, what a breath of fresh air, right? A man being the one concerned about how he was going to look in his wedding photos? Hitting the gym at an ungodly hour just to shed a few pounds? It was kinda like some weird form of feminist allyship, subverting societal body expectations. Right?

When you popped in to surprise him with a late dinner at work one night - you still had your keycard from your unpaid internship that nobody had remembered to disable – you found him balls deep in the tiny little blonde you later learned was the daughter of some higher up in the company that was “following in his footsteps at the company with an internship.”

Michael was such an uncreative asshole that he couldn’t even come up with a different meetcute for the leggy, fit blowup doll he’d replaced you with. At first you were enraged, but that quickly dissolved into despair. You were supposed to be getting married in 8 months. He was supposed to be the love of your life. You had wasted your 20s on this piece of shit, waiting around like a moron for him to decide he wanted to spend his life with you.

So here you were, sweating your ass off, moving your shit several states away, and starting at square one. The dark, moody sky made you roll your eyes. You figuratively and literally had a little black cloud over your head that followed you everywhere. If the impending bad turn of weather could just hold off for a little bit, you could get your “FIRST NIGHT IN NEW PLACE” box unpacked and inside unscathed.

Of course it started pouring buckets about 5 minutes after you’d parked the van in the driveway of your rental. Your new home. Where you lived by yourself. Alone. That’s all you were now. Alone. You dragged in your soggy cardboard box of necessities, only unpacking your phone charger before plopping down on the bare mattress your parents had been nice enough to drop off before your arrival.

You spend the first night at your place crying yourself to sleep.

Texas had gotten hotter since you’d left. No way was it always this hot. You used to play outdoor sports here, for chrissakes. There was no way on earth it had always been the same temperature as Satan’s ballsack in a pair of wool underwear. Maybe it’s hotter because you’re fatter than before your inner voice suggested. You were drenched in sweat by the time 11am rolled around and you’d finished unpacking your small collection of belongings. You never realized how much of your Colorado apartment was mainly Michael’s stuff until you had to clear all your shit out for the move. Humble beginnings, I guess you think to yourself.

Your tank top stuck to your drenched back, and your thighs were slightly chaffed from the hard rub of denim over and over while you moved in. Your stupid, fat thighs and the stupid, fat chubrub they gave you. That unfortunately was something that hadn’t changed about Texas. You always carried your weight in your hips and butt, and your thighs came to join the party shortly thereafter. You had gained a few pounds after dating Michael for a year or so, settling into that comfortable couple space where you sometimes go for donuts when you know you shouldn’t or indulge in breweries too many weekends in a row.

You were fat and happy together, though. Now you were just fat and sad all by yourself.

You stared at the lawnmower and imagined it bursting into a ball of flames. Your landlord had agreed to knock $100 off your rent if you mowed the lawn once a month. It was a no brainer, even if you had never mowed a lawn before. How hard could it be? Turns out, very.

You gave yourself a pep talk through figuring out how to put the gas into the stupid thing, but it had petered out into an irritated chant of “you piece of shit” and “fucking work, goddamit” when you couldn’t get it to start. You’d pulled and pulled and PULLED the stupid chord, but it wouldn’t start up. You wanted nothing more than to finish your chore and head inside before it got way too hot. You’d planned on already being finished by now. Michael had always made quick work of it, and if that room temperature IQ fuckwit could figure this out then so could you. Maybe.

When you pulled back again and nothing happened, something sort of cave woman happened in your brain, and you started kicking the mower in a fit of frustration. “FUCKING-PIECE-OF-SHIT!” you yell, accentuating each kick to the machine with a malice-laden word. When you propped your hands on your hips and took a step back to really give it a good, solid glare, you saw a man the next house over watching you with an amused look at the edge of his property.

“Need some help?” he called out, his smile growing.

“EVERYTHING’S GOING REAL FUCKING GOOD OVER HERE, BUT THANKS FOR THE OFFER,” you quip with way more acidity than this man deserved.

He took your stinging remark in stride and just smirked more. If he wasn’t so good looking you probably would’ve yelled at him for real. You needed a break and didn’t really care for your handsome neighbor to watch you fail at life, so you wordlessly stomped inside and plopped down with a bottle of water in hand. Was it too early for this water to turn into a beer? 11 am. Damn. You were pretty low these days, but you weren’t sure you wanted to take a trip down “drinking by yourself before noon” lane.

You sigh and play with the bottle cap as you try to ignore your growing embarrassment of being so rude to your hot neighbor. The sound of a lawn mower finally registers in your brain, and you scramble to the window to confirm your suspicions. Yep, there was your fine as fuck neighbor pushing your broken lawnmower around your backyard. It was definitely broken. He must have fixed it. It definitely wasn’t that you were entirely clueless about all this.

You groan and muster up some resolve before heading back outside. You wave at the absolute DILF-iest of DILFs you’ve ever seen in your life to get his attention. As though he was expecting you, he calmly turns off the engine and jerks his head up once in your direction.

“What are you doing?” you blurt out.

There’s that smile again. Damn, he must practice that in the mirror because holy shit it is very hard to think right now with him looking at you with it.

“Bein’ friendly to my new sailor-mouthed neighbor,” he drawled casually.

Goddamit. His voice was smooth and deep up close. And his hair, oh my god his hair. Peppery brown and slightly disheveled and wavy in all the right spots. And his eyes? Those puppy dog brown eyes that you thought just gave you a quick once over? You were kicking yourself for not being nicer earlier.

“Look, you don’t have to–”

“Name’s Joel Miller. What’s yours, sweetheart? And tell me quick, ‘cause I really think it might turn into Popeye if you don’t give me an alternative,” he teased.

Popeye? What on earth– Oh. Christ almighty. Right. Popeye. The “sailor man.” Because you have a “sailor mouth.” Okay, now the DILF was knocking out some dad jokes? You needed to find the box you’d packed your vibrator in that plugs into the wall after this little interaction.

“Kinda wanna tell you that you can call me whatever you want if you’ll just teach me how to turn that stupid thing on,” you say, motioning toward the traitor of a lawn mower.

“Hm, anything I want, huh? Temptin’. Maybe next time I’ll give ya a 101, but lemme just finish this up right quick.” Without giving you the chance to argue, he ripped the chord with a salivating flex of his bicep and resumed his task.

You awkwardly walked back up to your porch and tried to busy yourself with something. You didn’t want to go back inside and wait for him to finish. That’d be rude, him out in the sun doing your chores while you cooled off in the AC inside. You gave enough “lazy slob” vibes as it was. Luckily it didn’t take him much time at all to finish, and his sweaty brow was very distracting as he clambered up your steps. You had to keep your jaw shut when he pulled up the hem of his shirt to wipe it across his forehead, revealing a respectably toned middle. He was fitter than you by far. Not that that was a hard feat.

This DILF to end all DILFs had a toned body that shouldn’t have been such a surprise to you after seeing his muscular arms as they maneuvered the lawn mower. You suddenly felt self-conscious in your tank top and denim shorts. You were sure you were bulging out all over the place and looked like a sweaty pig. You hated how easy it was these days to get down on yourself, but seeing the blonde bombshell Michael had traded you for was all you could compare yourself to. The phrase “you can’t compete where you don’t compare” turned over and over in your head.

“See? Easy. Now about that name…” he trailed off, smiling now with a mischievous, friendly look.

“Oh. Yeah, um. Roxanne. But Roxy is fine,” you say.

Joel tilted his head as though he was considering how your name stacked up to how you looked, to see if it fit you or not. Heat crept up your cheeks under his gaze, and a fresh wave of insecurity engulfed you.

“Pretty,” he remarked.

“Huh?” you ask, sounding dumber by the minute.

Joel just keeps smiling at you, no matter how braindead you sound. “I said pretty. Your name’s pretty. Fits you,” he said.

You really wanted to believe this man was flirting with you, but it was wishful thinking.

“Hmm. Th-thanks. Um. Do you want money or?” you clumsily offer. You didn’t want to send him off empty handed after he just did you such a big favor.

“Two beers,” he posed.

You went inside and grabbed two cold beers from the fridge and loped back outside, extending them to Joel. He opened them both and made himself comfortable in one of your patio chairs. He set the second bottle on the arm of the chair next to him and pulled a long swig from his bottle. You watched the bob of his adams apple as he swallowed, and you knew your panties were gonna be absolutely wrecked by the time you finished your beer.

“Thanks.”

“Cheers.” He tipped his bottle towards you and leaned back, comfortable as ever as if this was his porch and not yours. “Didn’t see ya movin’ in. Musta been in the middle of the night to unpack a whole house without anybody knowin’.”

“Eh, not hard to move when you’ve got less than 20 boxes of shit,” you shrug.

Joel’s eyebrows pinched together in confusion. He clearly hadn’t been thinking you’d come into your new place with bare bones belongings. Someone your age would have at least a few pieces of bigger furniture and a couple of boxes of niche hobbies.

“Rest of it comin’ later, or…?”

“Nope. That’s it. Just me and my less than 20 boxes and a piece of shit lawnmower.”

Joel chuckled, and you found yourself giving him a small, shy smile.

“So you the neighborhood watch captain? Keep tabs on all the fresh meat?”

He laughed like heading up a community group was as likely for him as you figuring out that lawn mower by yourself.

“No quite. Just didn’t realize I had a new neighbor, is all. No car in the driveway. House has been up for rent for a few months,” he explained.

“Oh, yeah. I had a moving van, but I had to turn it back in to them a few days ago unless I wanted to pay for more days. They gave me a ride back. My parents are supposed to let me use one of their cars.”

You and Joel chatted back and forth about the neighborhood, how you’d grown up here and were now back - although you dutifully omitted the reason why - and what you did for work. When he told you he worked in construction with his brother in their small family business, it made a lot of sense. No wonder he was so toned.

Joel actually laughed when you told him you were an accountant. He didn’t believe you at first. When you started citing federal tax law addendums, he held his hands up in mock surrender. You laughed at his teasing. It felt nice to just interact with somebody without having to talk about your recent breakup and all the hard changes you’d been navigating.

“Should make you the poster girl for accountants because damn if I don’t imagine a blue haired lady sportin’ a big pink cardigan and goofy lookin’ glasses whenever I hear the word ‘accountant.’ You’d be the perfect brand image overhaul, sweetheart.” He chuckled, and you did your best to not think about how Michael had once told you that you were “too cute to be an accountant.”

“So, you got an accountant helping with your family business? Or are you just cookin’ the books?” you joke.

Joel rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous laugh. “Nah, we got some somebody at H&R whatever, but the bigger we get the more it seems they wanna charge. Lots of confusin’ shit with all kinds of tax laws. Wouldn’t know if we were gettin’ ripped off by ‘em, if I’m bein’ honest.”

You weren’t sure why you offered. Maybe because he had been kind enough to offer you help and then mow your lawn for you even though you had been an ass. Regardless, you offered to look over some documents and paperwork if he really wanted another set of eyes on it. You dismissed him with the wave of a hand when he started talking about paying you for it.

“Two beers is my rate, Joel,” you say with feigned solemnity.

“Two beers? You drive a hard bargain, sweetheart. I know you’re worth it, though. You free this weekend? Saturday mornin’?”

And that’s how you ended up with plans to help Joel go over his company’s financial information in two days time when Saturday rolled around.

Joel was singing your praises when you’d already found two instances where they could save some money by changing a few boxes on their taxes and getting things more streamlined with a different organization method for W2’s. You had applied for a few jobs in the area, but most of your pending applications were for virtual jobs that you could work from home. It was good to keep up practice in the meantime.

Joel made you lunch - a nice turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese. He’d mistakenly offered provolone, which you’d chosen, only to find that he had run out and could only offer cheddar instead. You teased him about being an awful host, but really you were glad to not have your favorite cheese on the sandwich because it would help you not eat as fast in front of him.

You hated feeling like this. You’d spent so many years of puberty pacing your bites with those around you, afraid to eat faster than everyone else. Nobody even gave a shit. You were just so terrified of being humiliated for being the plus sized girl who got that way in the first place because she inhales her food.

“You always eat like a baby bird?” Joel questioned through a large bite of his own sandwich.

“Only when I’m trying to concentrate on taxes and finances,” you lied with a fake giggle. You felt like Joel clocked your put-on nonchalance, but he thankfully didn’t say anything even if he had.

You tugged at the bottom of your shirt, pulling it away from your stomach. You caught Joel watching you do this, but again, he didn’t comment.

He did, however, raise a brow when you insisted you were “too full” to finish the entire sandwich. He played it off with a “damn, you really wanted provolone, huh?” You stuck your tongue out at him but dropped the playful demeanor the second he took the plates to the kitchen. Of course you were still hungry, but you weren’t going to gorge yourself in front of your super attractive neighbor. It wouldn’t kill you to cut a few calories here and there anyway, that familiar voice in your head points out.

Stupid, fat thighs the voice adds quickly, helpful as always.

You’re quick to adopt a smile when Joel comes back, but you aren’t sure you were quick enough for him to have missed the sad, fat, and alone girl’s real expression before flipping the switch.

It’s Saturday number two of your pro bono accounting skills. Well, it was actually a Thursday since Joel had some construction something or other this Saturday, but every day was a weekend when you were unemployed.

You had already hung out with Joel three times this past week and shared a few celebratory beers over your work from home job offer that you’d accepted and would be starting next week. Conversation came easy with Joel. He talked about his daughter, who was away at school for the semester, and you realized he must feel very lonely without her home. At least you could relate to him on that level.

You tell him the reason for your move back to your home town. He actually seemed genuinely pissed off when you told him Michael was cheating on you with a pretty little blonde thing and had been for months. You scoffed when Joel said it was Michael’s loss to have fumbled a girl like you.

“Hey,” he asserted, making you pause from the sip of beer you were about to have. “I’m serious. He’s a dumbass for havin’ let you slip through his fingers. You’re funny and smart and got a good head on your shoulders. Sure, you can’t figure out a lawn mower, but we can’t all be perfect.” His goofy grin was a sweet little addition to his playful teasing.

Maybe it was the beer talking, but you couldn’t hold back. “Yeah, well. There’s something you left out of that list there, and it’s probably the reason he did cheat on me.”

Joel shook his head in confusion. He wasn’t sure what he had left out.

You laughed hollowly to yourself, swirling your beer mindlessly as you spoke. “Funny. Smart. Good head on my shoulders. But not pretty, right? Not attractive. Not skinny enough.”

Joel’s expression shifted into something sympathetic and warm, and you hated yourself for having just let that word vomit happen.

“To be honest, sweetheart, I didn’t wanna say anythin’ that might make you uncomfortable. But I can give you a list a mile long with all the things that are beautiful about you. Inside and out.”

You flush at his appeal to your assets, but you know he’s just being nice. You were pathetic. You were going through a breakup from a relationship that had ended because your fiance was shoving his dick into his coworker. Of course Joel was going to try to boost your self-esteem and give you compliments.

When you didn’t respond, Joel placed his large, warm hand over yours. You looked at it and up to him. He grazed his other hand, a ghost of a curve against your cheek, like he wanted nothing more than to stroke your face and cradle your neck while he drew you into a long kiss and grabbed at your—

No. No he wasn’t. He was just being nice.

“I mean it. That prick is gonna look back and regret losin’ you.”

You wished you could believe him.

When Joel brought you a turkey sandwich for lunch on your second day of helping him, he made sure to point out the provolone. “Got it special for my girl, huh?”

Your tummy flipped at the way he called you his girl, but it was just another one of his terms of endearment that he probably used with everyone. He’d called you angel, sugar, honey, sweetheart, and even Popeye a couple of times. It didn’t mean anything. You weren’t special.

When you pushed your half eaten sandwich away, Joel set his down and waited for you to look at him.

“You don’t like it?” he asked.

“No, it’s great. Thanks for the provolone, by the way. You didn’t have to do that. Really. I’ll um, I’ll just save the rest for later. I’m good for right now.”

Joel’s jaw clenched from side to side before he leaned over in the chair next to you.

“Darlin’, you should eat somethin’. Half a sandwich ain’t shit.”

You shrugged and insisted you weren’t hungry. Joel chewed his cheeks against his molars for a moment before adjusting in his chair and leaning in even closer than before.

“This about that asshole? Messin’ with that blonde?”

You froze at his words. You heart was about to leap out of your chest.

“N-No,” you lie. “I, um, I’m not sure what you mean, Joel.”

“What I mean is you got the idea that you’re not beautiful. That you can’t compare.”

You took a deep swallow to clear the lump in your throat. Your eyes were getting a little blurry. Dammit, you really didn’t want to cry in front of Joel. Not over this stupid bullshit.

“Just leave it, Joel,” you mumble, turning your attention back to the papers on the table.

“Not gonna do that, sweetheart,” he said firmly.

When you looked back at him, there was a dark hunger in his eyes. His usually lax, friendly features were drawn into a stony scowl.

“I meant what I said the other day. You’re beautiful. Everythin’. Everythin’ about you is beautiful.”

“Look, I appreciate you being nice and trying to make me feel better, but you don’t have to–”

“You think I’m lyin’?” he challenged. You swallow hard at his commanding tone, and his words went straight to your pussy. You shook your head, feeling a little more convinced Joel might not be embellishing his opinion of you.

“Jus’ … Hard to think of myself that way, after…” You want to tell Joel every last detail of your life. Every time someone made you feel like you were eating too fast. Every time your friends got flirted with in the mall while you quietly hung at the back of the group. Every time you put something back on the rack after seeing how it accentuated the shape of your body too much to be a cute garment anymore.

Joel turned and was now angled directly at you with a knee tucking itself between your legs. His sinewy, large arm crossed your chest, his hand firmly planting onto the arm of your chair. He dipped his mouth right next to your ear. “You give me the word, sweetheart. Gimme the green light, and I’ll show you just how gorgeous I think you are.”

You’d been here before. The guy begging to show you a good time but only ever ending as a hookup. You were never girlfriend material, but you were a warm, round body for them to get their rocks off for the night. You knew Joel was different. He wasn’t like that. But you still can’t bring yourself to say yes.

“Tell me,” you whisper. Joel pulled back to look at your face. “Just your words.”

“After you let me kiss those sweet lips of yours?” he countered. You nod yes. It was only a kiss.

Joel stood and grabbed your hand, leading you to the couch. He tried to pull you onto his lap, but you knew he’d change his mind about all of this the second your too heavy body crushed his.

He tilts your chin for you to look at him after you sit. His eyes searched for any hesitation or unease. You can’t handle another rejection, so you lean forward. Joel meets you halfway and presses the gentlest of kisses against your mouth. It was feather light in a way that conveyed an intent to go slow rather than a hesitant partner.

His tongue gently flicks against your bottom lip, and you swallow a moan as you let him in. The kiss is agonizing in its slow, mindful pace as Joel makes no rush of exploring every part of your mouth. You suddenly feel very needy. You haven’t been kissed like this in a very long time. You pull at Joel’s shirt, dragging him on top of you as you lay back on the couch. His broad chest easily envelops you, and his large hands twitch with restraint to not smooth over every inch of you.

His grip tightens around your waist as he delves into a hungrier kiss. When he pulls back to adjust his body parallel to yours, the sight of your reddened mouth and blown out pupils almost have him crumbling into you.

“Tell me,” you breathe. “I just-I just want to feel pretty.” You curse the goblin part of your brain that tacked that pathetic sounding plea onto the end of your comment.

“Want me to start slow or you want me to tell you exactly what comes to mind?” he questioned with a flick of his tongue against your earlobe before drawing it into his mouth and sucking.

“Ohhh–ssh-shit– the s-second one,” you manage.

Joel’s deep chuckle sends goosebumps all over your body.

“Thinkin’ ‘bout the first time we met. Wanted you even then. Kept thinkin’ about us sittin’ on your porch. The way you were holdin’ onto that beer bottle? All I could do was imagine how your pretty fingers would look wrapped around my cock,” he murmured into the shell of your ear. “Bringin’ it to those pouty little lips of yours. Goddamn I thought about your tongue on me, baby. Takin’ me in real good in your mouth. Lickin’ this cock that gets hard just for you. That wet, warm mouth just for me.”

Your breath hitches in between Joel’s incredibly specific and detailed account.

“And when you were havin’ that little spitfire spell’uh yours, kickin’ the lawn mower?” he continued, earning a moan from you in half arousal and half embarrassment remembering your temper tantrum that day. “When you kicked it, your tits jiggled all in that little tank top you had on. Had to stop myself from marchin’ over right then and there and shovin’ my dick right in between ‘em and fuckin’ ‘em.”

You would’ve rubbed your thighs together just for the friction right now, but Joel had slotted himself in between your legs and was pushing his hard-on against your clothed pussy in a teasing grind that was driving you insane. Your hips canted at the hint of contact.

“Sittin’ in those cute little cutoffs,” he groaned low. “Your thighs spreadin’ on the seat. Wanted to grab you up and make my face your new seat, baby. Wanted those thighs on either side of my face while you rubbed your pretty little cunt all over my mouth.”

“J-Jesus christ,” you whimper. This man was giving you the dirtiest play by play of all the ways he’d envisioned himself exploring your body. Your pussy had already bottomed out by the time he got to the part about the lawn mower.

“‘N I jus’ know, baby, I just know it. Know your pussy is made to take this cock, baby. I know it’s perfect. Know it tastes so fuckin’ sweet. Know I’d fuck you ‘til you couldn’t think straight. Make you come on my cock over and over.”

Okay, maybe you could let him do more than just describe how much he wants you.

“‘N then after I work my tongue over you, ‘n after you take this cock so good, I’d grab you up, all to myself. Soft skin against mine. So soft, baby. Pull you in close and never let go. Press you right against me, hold you all night, cuddle up real close. Then wake you up with my dick hard against your perfect ass and fuck into that sweet little hole all over again.”

“Joel,” you whine.

“Hhmmm?” he drawled innocently, but you could feel his smile against your skin.

“I-I think I changed my mind. About telling me and not showing me. I think that, um, I think I’d really like for you to show me h-how much you want me,” you mumble against his cheek.

“S’that right, honey? You want a little show n tell now?” he teased. For good measure he rocked himself against the apex of your thighs, causing your hips to jerk up involuntarily to meet the movement. He chuckled at your eager change of heart.

Joel wasted no time nibbling and sucking your neck and his hands snaked up your shirt and under your bralette. The pads of his thumbs circle your pebbled nubs, and you let out a choked sigh. He shoved your clothing off with a few tugs and stopped to marvel at your bare top half. “God, even better than I imagined.”

His greedy eyes raked over every inch of you, a reverential gaze at your curvy figure. Heat spread between your legs when he dipped his mouth to your chest, leaving a wet trail with his tongue and lips in a freeform pattern before drawing your erect nipples between his teeth. Your back curved off the couch in a jerk at the delightful tease.

His hands covered large swaths of your abdomen where he enthusiastically massaged and kneaded into your flesh like he couldn’t grab enough of it at once. You lifted your hips when he pulled your shorts and panties off, and you would’ve been self-conscious about being completely nude while Joel was still fully dressed if you hadn’t seen the way his eyes glazed over with want as he absorbed the sight of you.

“Goddamn,” he breathed. “So pretty. Been wantin’ to drink this pussy from the first time I saw you.” His eyes flitted up to your face with a degree of effort as though he had to tear his gaze away from your heavenly body. He searched your features, checking in and making sure you still wanted this. You nod in consent, and no sooner is his tongue lapping between your folds.

You fist a handful of his hair at the overwhelming feeling of wet heat against you, and Joel groans in a deliciously lewd way that takes you even closer to the limit. He lathes against your heat with the fervor of a devout addict, and you come with a slamming jolt when he simultaneously slips two large fingers into you and sucks your clit.

“There’s my girl,” he coos, working you with a steady drag and push of his fingers as you come down from your high. “Knew you’d look so fuckin’ pretty comin’ undone, baby.” Your first orgasm quickly rolled into a second when Joel drove a third finger into you with a steady thrust. You cry out, clenching around the painfully sweet stinging stretch of his fingers.

You grab desperately at the tent in his pants. “S’about you today, baby,” he murmured into your thigh where he’s planting slow, sweet kisses.

“Please, Joel. Want to see you. Taste you,” you rasp out, still pulsing weakly around his digits. You groan when he pulls his fingers from you and laps all the glistening slick from them before standing in front of you. You sit up in a rush, eager to see more of him. He obliges and unfastens his jeans. His impressively thick

length made you gasp when he sprang it free from his underwear. You don’t hesitate to fit as much of him into your mouth as you can, and he lets out a satisfied hum when his tip nudges the back of your throat.

“Shit, I’m gonna come, baby,” he croaked. Apparently working you over had done a number on him already, and it made you want him even more. You wordlessly released him in a sloppy, wet pop from your mouth and tilt your head back, stroking his length with one hand and fondling his balls with the other. When his breathing picks up and he’s on the edge, you stick your tongue out expectantly and continue to fist him until his hips stutter and jerk, his spend cascading onto your cheeks, lips, and tongue.

You both just sprawled out on the couch like two chalk outlines haphazardly jutting into odd angles on pavement. You giggled when Joel asked you if you believed him now, and you said he had indeed made a believer out of you.

That was the first night you stayed over his place, and just like he had told you earlier that day, he scooped you in close to him, cuddling and shamelessly grabbing at your belly, thighs, and anywhere else he could reach while he peppered the back of your neck with kisses. It was the first time in a very long time that you didn’t once think about how much space you took up.

This one’s for all my baddie thickies out there!

I have hope that one day Miss Thickums® will come to love on herself a bit more because she deserves it, dammit. Also that and the fact that I get down bad for a lil Rubenesque cutie ha ha.

I hope y’all liked this little pairing! I have been working on Endless Night and Feral Woman but couldn’t get this idea out of my head so I just churned it out. I’m a sucker for fluff and praise, so this was a nice detour from my heavier series (but you should def go check those out too lmao).

I have so many more ideas for this pairing. I just know that AU friendly DILF neighbor Joel Miller has always been a “more cushion for the pushin” kinda guy and would love to nibble every pudgy roll on your body. His favorite spot is your lil muffin top. That’s my headcannon, and I won’t hear any differing opinions.

Let me know if y’all want more from these two. :)

Catch ya later,

♥Puddles♥

#fic: a weight off your shoulders #joel miller #joel miller x plus size reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #tlou fic #joel miller hbo #the last of us fanfiction #oneshots

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totallysora · 2 months

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Newsies (Live)

Ok so I rewatched newsies live at like,,Christmas and have been caught in a major newsies spiral so here are my thoughts 😻‼️

Jeremy Jordan 🥰 I get that he was kinda old to play Jack but Idc he’s iconic I’m so glad they called him back to play him

Same with Kara she’s an icon and literally the only Katherine I will accept for the proshot

Completely random but I’m glad it was a proshot and not an attempt to make it into a musical movie 😭 (especially since 92sies is literally already a movie lmao)

I also rewatched the og movie and watching it reminded me how much they BUTCHERED SPOT’S SCREEN TIME 😕 and therefore Tommy’s screen time 😔

Also Tommy Bracco he is literally the only spot I will accept (and like,,the only spot on bway that Ik so 😭)

The bg newsies 🥰 Literally all of them they were all icons the cast was literally perfect it’s unreal

ETHAN 😭 HE’S SUCH A CUTIE AND IS SO DRAMATIC IT’S ADORABLE

Andrew Keenan Bolger, also so glad they got him back as crutchie cuz he is an I c o n (as much as I love Andy I deffo prefer Andrew as crutchie lmao)

The fact that there were enough members in the cast that there was literally only 1 case of a newsie doubling up on characters

Literally the entirety of seize the day

The fact that Jeremy runs away from all of the dancing 😭

Also how Jeremy almost kills himself at the end with the heel click/bell kick 💀

The fact Michael (Tommy boy) has a rlly bad American accent but that’s ok cuz I can’t do one either 🥰

BROOKLYN’S HERE 😻‼️‼️

How Tommy’s (spot) eyeliner/eye lashes are sm more noticeable than everyone else, especially his bottom lashes lmao

How tf did Morris not hurt his hand when he hit the printing press?? Like gurl what 😭

The Delancey brothers - they were like,,deffo less comical than in the og movie but still rlly silly 😭

The fact morris literally just stands on top of the newspaper bit for like the entire show

Them bonking heads (I am a Delancey apologist sorry guys 😔)

Ben Tyler Cook 🥰 I absolutely adore Ryan Breslin and actually would’ve loved to see him return as Race but god Ben is so silly I love him sm 😭

“The woild is yer erster” - Literally no one beats his version of this sorry 😭

Pulitzer - He was so good and literally for what bro 😭

”It’s a compromise we can all live with” - Jack Kelly 1899

BEN FANKHAUSER‼️ Also literally the only appropriate Davey fr

The way at the start of Brooklyn’s here Jeremy hits the printing press in time with the music

The set 😻 Ik it’s kinda simple but literally shut up it’s iconic

The height difference between Tommy and Ben at the end of Brooklyn’s here and like,,everywhere lmao

Honestly the height difference between Tommy and everyone

Joshua Burrage - He’s so silly I love him sm

MEDDAAA‼️ GOD HER VOICE IS JUST SO UGH 😫 AND SHE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART LIKE PLS MA’AM BE MY MOTHER 😭

Will never get over how they can sing like that whilst dancing

HOW DOES BEN COOK NOT DROP HIS CIGAR WHILST DANCING SO WELL LIKE???

So sad Ryan Steele wasn’t there 😔 The dude who played specs was good tho (+Michael covered for the turns so 🤷‍♀️)

Hannah was so unserious she’s so funny 😭

Once and for all - this song will literally always give me chills

TOMMY NOT THROWING THE PAPER STACK HIGH ENOUGH DURING ONCE AND FOR ALL 😭

Ben Cook kicking himself in the face during seize the day 💀

THE CAMERA ANGLE WE GET DURING THE RALLY RIGHT BEFORE JEREMY ENTERS

The hug between Tommy and Michael (Spot+Tommy Boy) at the end when Jeremy tells them they won ☹️

The fact Oscar and Morris went for Les first?? Like gurl I get it he’s probably easiest to carry but what were yall trying to achieve with that 😭

The fact that the Delanceys like,,actually got their asses beat like that shit kinda looked like it hurt 💀

SANTA FEEEE‼️ Iconic 😻

The way Crutchie screams for Jack ☹️ although that one “what ya say” meme where it starts playing after Oscar hits him has kinda ruined that scene for me cuz I keep laughing abt it 😕

That one two people cartwheel during the scene change

”I’m glad to have you back :)” “Shuddup” - Jack and Davey (THEY’RE GAY YOUR HONOUR)

There is literally no heterosexual explanation for that scene

THE LOOK DAVEY GIVES JACK WHEN THEY REALISE HE’S A SELLOUT

Once again literally no heterosexual explanation for that scene

Ok but literally just how much fun all of the newsies look like they’re having?? Especially in king of new york like they honestly look like they’re having the time of their lives 😭

“That’s disgusting” - David Jacobs, 1899 (when he’s a victorian newsboy who cares about hygiene 🥰🤭)

Ik Pulitzer saif it too but Idc ok the dude who played Pulitzer was kinda hot anyways (I don’t make the rules sorry 🤷‍♀️ [I am sorry for this tho my taste in men is uh 😨])

That one thing Jeremy does after he shakes Roosevelt’s hand for the first time 😭

”Your majesty” - Crutchie, 1899 (Referring to the governor 😭)

Maybe I should just make one of these with my favourite lines cuz I have so many

Honestly literally the whole fucking musical it was iconic and I am forever grateful that it exists 😻

Honestly there’s probably so so so much more but that’s all I can like,,fully remember rn but I’ll definitely rewatch it and update this lmao

Overall I absolutely adore the musical, and I’m glad the proshot exists cuz it is I c o n i c (also I am totally gonna make a list of my favourite lines from it lmao)

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nightgoodomens · 1 month

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How did you predict that ??! It is awesome but omg . Like honestly he is trying so hard to get her out there I do feel it is abit late tho.

More asks and answers below:

Because they went very basic obvious PR. If something feels forced, on purpose, not organic, not usual; if it stinks, it stinks for a reason.

It started with him making a point to mention her during his BAFTAs interviews to ensure they write her name down.

Constant mentions from a man who always avoided talking about her are always suspicious.

But hey maybe I’m too cynical?

Then with every article underlining she’s an ACTOR. Which was a stretch anyway and frankly no media would care to mention her if he didn’t tell them to.

But hey maybe I’m too cynical?

Then bang we wake up in the morning of BAFTAs with every trash magazine writing articles about her suddenly about some old stuff so they were told to do so because they had zero reason to do that themselves. They had zero reason to care about her when she hasn’t done anything new so they had to bring up really old stories and focus purely on her even though it was David’s day. So they were paid to do so.

But hey maybe I’m too cynical?

But then bang again we are suddenly getting a whole over-acted show. Oh my godddd you look amaaaazing he made such an amazed face right in front of the main camera where they decided to meet. What a coincidence! Click📸. Ohhh time for a huge PDA kiss in front of all these cameras! Click📸. Oh now you give me a long loved look and now I do that in return! Click📸. My goodness like in a perfect movie with actors… oh.

And then ok we are done, where’s Michael?

David has worked his ass off to give her everything he could, even getting Michael to give her a role, now it’s up to her to do something with it. He will probably try to push her wherever possible, but we will need to see if suddenly after all these years she became an actress that people want because of her skills not famous surnames. Surnames only get you so far.

If she’s still the same, he can dance on his head and it won’t work. Sure Neil is his buddy was loves a nepo show, and Michael loves David, so he did it for him (he did make her watch an intimate moment between men though lmao), but how many more people will take her on just because David is pretty?

Oh I wonder what suddenly made him so desperate and motivated to find her a job after years of failures… so he’d be more free… I wonder if it starts with M and ends with L.

Honestly I was laughing when people were all “this is true love!” no babes this is business. The most blatant of businesses.

I doubt she suddenly became a good actress so I wonder if they will try something else with her. I just wish DT got a break and in result us.

I think things are a little different now and so might be his priories. I hope the agent won’t keep on using him to promote her. Even more than already.

Yeah I cross my fingers for GO to be nepo free but…

No wonder he’s so tiny, dude is exhausted from everyone hanging on him. He tried so many freaking times with GT, I just hope that agent finds her something that isn’t just hanging on him.

He is a shover 😂

If she actually wanted a job then she’d have found something she’s actually good at years ago. But she wants the “cool” job and doesn’t want to admit she just isn’t that good. When you are privileged, you can spend 15 years having your man try to make you an actress. Normal people go “damn I’m shit at this and I need to pay bills so let’s find something else”.

Aw thank you for writing in and don’t worry!

I’m not 100% sure yet.

I could see AL/MS break up but not GT/DT but now I have a slight itching (after seeing that the PR show was indeed to get GT a job) whether… well…

We have such an extreme push to make GT and AL independent or at least slightly less dependent on the dudes and it’s clearly a whole plan that they have put into motion. Why such sudden need? Especially since soft launching MS/DT at the same time?

I definitely won’t say oh yeah sure there is a separation coming. But I’m also not saying “no way!!!” anymore.

If a separation will come then on beautiful (££) terms though.

#NightGoodOmens talks PR #NightGoodOmens talks Michael and David

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tomboyyyaoi · 1 year

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SOOOOO many more thoughts than last week ok

how much time has passed since ww's experimentation? i like the idea of him not ageing faster but just ageing to a certain point and continuing from there? or ageing to a certain point then being stuck like that? but bc the time is indeterminate and we dont know how old he was when he was sent off (kinda like the manga) im gnna keep assuming hes an adult and not caring♡ not my problem♡ also of we take the fact rollos whole thing was 20 years ago and the doctor still looked the same in both wolfwoods and rollos flashbacks then??? idk, im not jumping to anything yet, the time is still uncertain just like it was in the manga and honestly? thats fine by me im absolutely smelling an age discourse revival and i will be killing myself im abt to be so brutal with blocking new fans i can tell

nick been smoking that zaza since he was fresh out the womb

livio and nicks relationship. im bawling. they r brothers. im on the floor...

legato giving me mean twink vibes for this version im actually loving it hes such a petty insecure bitch "dont talk about my hair" *breaks nicks spine* LMAO i love him, he made me giggle, i love a petty gay villain whos genuinely a threat

meryl REFUSING to let the investigation go. her boss is like "its getting a little too dangerous for us we better scoot back 2 office" n shes NOT having it, her reckless driving and complete dismissal of whatever rob says, i love u queen

THE BACKSTORY SEQUENCES and wolfwoods hallucinations were animated so beautifully... omg.

not enough of livio yet to get a read on his characterisation but. please be a little similar to the manga at least. please.

lil nick n livio r so cute. they r so little. putting them in the blender.

rob couldve entirely been like "no meryl we need to go back" but the fact he still let her drive and still let her pursue the steamer with his only protests being stern warnings tells me hes a little curious to know what the fuck vashs deal is

wolfwood and vash absolutely fucking screaming at eachother. couples quarrel♡

i am SO excited for BDN next week

seems that the gung ho guns are basically blended with the eye of michael at this point, it did click they havent been calling them the gung ho guns so i assume they just. merged them together. pretty cool, not a bad choice

vash being quite cold toward meryl n rob, his honestly really mean response to wolfwood calling them his buddies stabbed me in the heart a bit, but is that a coping mechanism for him to not get attatched or is it an actual effect of him forcing himself to detatch from people so its easier to leave them. ouu. it hurted me a little. it did. EVEN WOLFWOOD CALLED HIM COLD FOR IT AND HE JUST KILLED A MAN LIKE. YESTERDAY

ok thats all i can think of rn gnna go watch the ep again see u all next week

#trigun #trigun stampede #holy shit man.

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sea-jello · 1 year

Text

every single little detail they managed to fit into bmc

yeah there are SO MANY details in this show and its driving me crazy so im gonna amass everything into posts

ik many of these are well known or obvious or whatever but im doing it so anyone who didnt know about any of these could easily learn it all in one go without having to scour the internet or rewind and watch the background in every single scene yk (also i noticed so many of these myself and im kinda proud and its a way for me to get it all out)

i’m also going to be using @/thesquirrelqueer's be more chill archive which is amazing and frankly scary so go give em some love

edit i changed my mind halfway through this cause thats gonna take me forever so if you want to see all the visual details go check that out. its like thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference i think all the little quirks showcase their personality quite well

im gonna start all the way from the beginning so FIRST UP is 2river's "More Than Survive" (album+show, specifically the one 35 minute 👢)

im telling you its LONG so prepare yourself for that. maybe pull up the video to watch side by side so yk what im talking about (the video on yt is "this isnt be more chill" because its NOT be more chill) tiny warning for very mild nsfw mentions cause its bmc

from the first "c-c-c-cmon" up to "and now of course its time to hit the road" theres a sound that sounds like a mouse clicking to the beat in the background. i thought this was to reflect the show when jeremy stops clicking at his laptop at the line "and now of course its time to hit the road" to gets up and put his pants on, but during "but that really isnt such a change/if im not feeling weird or super strange" you can still hear the clicks. maybe its there just for repetitions sake cause it breaks off at "which means ill be uncomfortable all day" and resumes for those two lines, then you dont hear it again. you can hear this one very clearly if you watched the show, but its a little fainter in the album (i figured it out from the album lmao go me)

during the bus scene in the show when everyones going to their places, jeremy almost crashes into rich and you can hear his voice hitch

christine watches this interaction before "sitting down" on the bus to read

i think brooke is asleep during the bus ride, and gets woken up when the bus jerks forward

jake nearly drops his phone too (again this is all based on the 35 minute video on yt. im sure small things change every show, but this is all we got so im picking this one apart)

jeremy keeps smoothing his hair behind his right ear with his palm, probably a nervous gesture. he does it when they "get off the bus"

during the ensembles (i dont think thats the right word but it just makes it easier for me you know who im talking about) "c-c-c-cmon", michael loses his signal on his phone when they get to school, hence the "cmon"

chloe impatiently gestures to brooke to "cmon" and follow her (yk)

jenna waves to christine. christine puts her book down and waves back, then again just watches jenna and then people

rich messes with jenna and she goes to hit him

after the "c-c-c-cmon"s rich jumps out from backstage and hits jeremy in the nuts you can hear jeremys faint noise of pain

in the little dance break jake and jenna are dancing on opposite sides of the stage, then wave at each other (im pretty sure). jeremy looks back and forth between them while they dance and mistakenly waves to jenna when they spin around (just watch it youll know what i mean)

when chloe, brooke and jenna are gossiping, up to jakes "its a good thing i rock at pool" the "rich set a fire" tune plays in the background (something something gossip rumors) chloe is holding a textbook with the earth on it, so science or something probably. there’s a magazine article page that says “what cheating does to [i can’t see what it says]”, which i’m assuming is a reference to jake?? she also have page cutouts of hair products, straighteners, etc, and i think a picture of either taylor swift or brooke i really can’t tell 💀💀when rich writes on jeremys backpack, he pulls him up by the collar to say "youre dead", then pushes him (jeremy pushes his hair back again) into mr reyes' path where hes walking to put up the play sign up sheet. (side note gerards voice cracked on 'dont touch me tall ass" so it sounds like hes having a tantrum and will connolly looks like a meerkat and i love them both)

when jake says "its a good thing i rock at pool" chloe and brooke hide behind a pillar and listen in, then chloe does a sort of "i told you so" gesture. during the whole "i navigate the dangerous hall" scene, brooke chases after chloe as she storms off upset. rich messes with jenna again and she chases him offstage, then mr reyes follows (im pretty sure he pinched her ass) i dunno if this is a coincidence but christine runs after them offstage too. christine and jenna friendship w

jeremy genuinely sounds so excited when he realized it was a sign up sheet and i wholeheartedly believe he wanted to join the play even before christine, she was just the final push

when the ensemble comes back out before the "christiiiiiiiiine" mr reyes comes out dragging rich by the ear while jenna smugly walks behind them (read back to him pinching her ass). rich flips him off after he lets go. jake walks past chloe without looking up from his phone and chloe does a 180 to chase after him. forgot to mention michael has his hood on and bops to his music in the background of all the ensemble scenes but yk its pretty well known

oh god class scene here we go. rich and jake make the 👌👈 sign at michael. rich very aggressively shoves his WHOLE HAND into the circle and opens his hand. jenna raises her hand and mr reyes brushes her off in favor of trying and failing to get jake to stop, so he moves on to rich. he puts a hand on richs arm and sorta makes the "wtf" gesture. rich makes the "sorry about that" motion with his hand still around his wrist which is kinda funny to me (just watch it i cant even describe it) jake turns to talk to brooke, who was previously talking to chloe. jenna waves to christine again. also christine seemed really shy every time jenna waves at her, and never waves first. idk if this is a coincidence but chloe flips her hair back and brooke mirrors it right after. there’s a poster for an anime club on the bulletin board with the sign up sheet

MICHAEL

jeremys fucking bops to his intro i love him

really quick when michael goes "and were almost at the end of this song" and does his dance jeremy bops along with him. NOW if we stretch a bit and say this actually happened then that means jeremy knew what song he was listening to/where hes at based on him dancing to it earlier they know each other so well they are best friends and possibly boyfriends in this essay i will

jeremy flops his head to the side on the beat and with michaels "how was class" slap hes so dramatic

i think i might be tripping but right after "i hate this school" and during the tore it up and flushed it thing michael in the bathroom plays very very faintly in the bg. IM NOT TRIPPING in the album mitb plays during the humanity stopped evolving thing up to "better time in history to be a loser". and THEN from "so own it" up to the christine jingle THE PANTS SONG PLAYS. you can just barely hear it in the boot too

during the first "canigula" michael waves in front of jeremys face and he kicks at him

before jeremys sign up verse michael takes his lunch tray and jerks his head towards the sheet in a "go on" motion and then ofc pushes him towards it HES SUPPORTIVE OF HIM HELLO this furthers my belief of jeremy being a secret theatre kid. jeremy looks back at him on "who cares if people think im lame" like hes reassuring himself can you hear my heart

when rich shouts "GAAAY" mr reyes points and goes after him

when they all come out to dance, jeremy first mistakenly waves to chloe when she waves at jenna, then rich when he goes to dap jake up, then tries to wave at michael but he spins away while presumably listening to his music. christine just watches chloe and brooke talk again

when they all start slowly standing up at the "go"s jeremy looks so confused

also when he jumps off the chair that is PEAK meerkat moment. then he lands and just stands there for like a solid 3 seconds its so funny to me

LORD almighty we're done that took weeks okay uhh please tell me if i should do EVERYTHING everything like broadway off broadway australia cause lord knows im the ceo of bmc australia rn also i dont want to sound pretentious but please reblog cause i spent so much time and effort on this useless fucking post 😭😭 but whatever i had fun

#WOW i am so normal about this fucking show #also a while ago i learned fucking joe iconis is in fact on tumblr so mr joe iconis if you see this hello you have a very nice musical #shoutout to thesquirrelqueer for giving me permission to use the archive even though i ended up not using it #like i said thats the artists reference and this is the writers reference #watching the background gives you a lot of insight into the characters #i tried to seperate them into sections i hope its not too hard to read #im heavy tagging this idc im not spending so long on this for it to flop #bmc #be more chill #be more chill musical #bmc two river #be more chill two rivers #jeremy heere #michael mell #rich goranski #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #jenna rolan #jake dillinger #christine canigula #bmc jeremy #jeremy bmc #michael bmc #bmc michael #rich bmc #bmc rich #bmc brooke #bmc chloe #bmc jenna #bmc jake

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tearsofalonelyprince · 2 years

Text

The Boys as bus drivers [Celestial Remix]

Hey Gamers! Today I’m surviving off of 3 hours of sleep, spite, and blasting “It’s My Party” on repeat so I thought I’d give you even more of our boys as bus drivers while I’m still at work! If you haven’t seen the first part [ click here ]

Diavolo

He goes slightly above the speed limit at all times

Does not care for rude people and has kicked several off the bus before

If he’s a school bus driver he brings snacks for major holidays

Has told corporate to “fuck off”

The people like him and he’s been working there too long to get fired easily

He’s a supervisor

Will tell you to stop cursing and stop standing.

Plays the “cool” radio stations to be hip with the kids

8/10 I would want him as my substitute bus driver

Barbatos

LMAO THIS MAN WOULD NEVER DRIVE A BUS

He’s a bus monitor

The kids respect him because he doesn’t nag them

He has yelled only once. To stop a brawl.

The kids started crying.

He apologized and told them he didn’t want them to “get written up”

They thought he was chill after that

He sometimes just comes in dressed up fancy as hell

Several people in the yard have a crush on him

He always says he is taken

No one can figure out who he’s “taken” by. It’s the gossip of the bus lot

Somehow is never late?? Even to last minute bus changes

9/10 because there’s no way parents and drivers both don’t fight over him being on their bus

Now on to the Celestials

Simeon

He says good morning to you every morning.

He warns you when he’s gonna run in to traffic

If you don’t have enough money and you’re his regular, he will cover for you.

He will work as a school bus driver on the side just to ensure the kids are safe.

That being said, there is absolutely NO CURSING on his bus.

There is no tomfoolery either! You either behave or get off.

The only exception is if you’re 5 or have any sort of stims or tics that you quite literally can’t stop

He has yelled at passengers for being mean to other passengers before

If a kid is sad he tells them he thinks that they are a ✨star✨

Is pleasant to almost everyone on the lot

He and Barbatos have a rivalry to be the most liked person in the bus yard

9/10 he’s just a generally nice fellow who doesn’t like bullies on his bus

Michael

He has beef with every other driver

He steals routes

His timing is always the same

But he will drive away as you’re running to the stop

Lucifer was trained by him

He then proceeded to get Lucifer’s promotion to supervisor taken away once he deemed Lucifer too good

Wants to be in corporate

Does not drive anything over or below the speed limit.

Does not play the radio

Writes people up

Parents love him, children hate him 😤

5/10 simply because he doesn’t technically break the law

Raphael

Oh boy here we go

I do not think this man should have a license

Admittedly I know nothing about him

The only thing he drives is a dirt bike

He is banned from driving on all highways

If he has a chaperone he can maybe, maybe, drive on the road

He ran Michael off the road 2 times

This is why he can’t drive

Unrelated but he looks like he’d call Michael “Mikey”

Yea like the ninja turtle

6/10 for the memes

Thirteen

She puts those lil window stickers on her bus windows

Has a matching purple vest with Asmo

I also know nothing about her

But I feel like she’d slay

Drives by the rules sometimes

Gives stickers to the kids that behave

Gives disappointed looks to those that don’t

Tells all the kids that she’s any magical creature they think she is when they see her hair

Most kids think she’s a mermaid

She does what she wants honestly

8/10 simply because she calls out sometimes to go attend concerts

BONUS

Solomon

He does not drive

He got demoted from a driver to a monitor

Why you ask? He tried to use the bus in a street race after hours

Asmo had to step in and say that Solomon told him “he had no idea he was driving in a street race. He just wanted to get the bus away from the crazy drivers”

No one believed him

But Asmo has pretty privilege and a generally good record so Michael let it go

:[ he would have won if he didn’t forget that buses do not go well with speed bumps

He tells the kids he’s a magician and does minor illusion tricks to keep them distracted if there is traffic

Likes to mess with the other monitors

Is mainly the reason gossip spreads in the bus yard

10/10 I would genuinely be excited to go to school if he was on my bus when I was little

Luke

He’s like 10 years old

He can’t drive.

Simeon makes him the line leader when it’s time for the kids to get off the bus :]

Sometimes talks about the funky cars they see on the road

Once got into a fight with Mammon over the fact that his school id counted as “his license”

It does not

Mammon let him win tho

Dressed up like a bus driver for Halloween

Tells everyone that Solomon is half cat

Solomon does not understand why this small sassy child is convinced he’s a cat

10/10 he would be a great bus driver in like 30 centuries :]

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scover-va · 6 months

Note

I need to know more about Michael's mom... Is she a cool mom?

SHE IS A VERY COOL MOM janet afton you will always be famous. to me

Im taking this as a chance to finally ramble abt her anyways so Janet's core inspo when designing her was to avoid 2 key things. Don't make her like Immortal & Th Restless's Clara (due to clara representing michael, not mrs afton, so i wanted to avoid that), and don't base her too heavily off of Ballora. I still have ties to Ballora's character (a music-based theme, blue-centric colour palette, im sure there were more basic ideas but everything else is more hc than themes to keep up) due to my hc thingy of each Funtime having ties to William's wife + kids, but yknow.

But yeah. Funky lady who played bass guitar + did backup vocals in a band during her high school and college years. Literally her and William dating can be summed up by "Seriously, what do you see in that guy?!" "He makes me laugh." bc she was and is WAY out of his goddamn league. Not just bc of the whole serial killer thing he was just an even bigger loser in college. Normal people dont develop a crush on a woman after she nearly breaks your nose and makes you bleed, William /j

But yeah uhh. I also dont like the idea of her being absent or neglectful purely because I got way too attached to her (i was originally gonna do that just to make things easy for myself but. Pretty lady,,, I am a very simple lesbian what can i say) so like. She obviously wasnt the greatest, most fantastic mom to ever exist given she was kinda maybe sorta well aware William was making some weird fucking clowns, but like. Hey. She tried. Also side note my reasoning for her being absent during the whole. Yknow. '83 event (and just evan's bday in general) is bc Evan + Elizabeth are twins and Elizabeth demanded a girls-only trip for her bday, and Janet promised Evan she'd do something just as special for him when she got back. That never happened bc he died lmao loser /j

But yeah uhh. Shes got a lot of regrets. Wishes she coulda done a lot of things better. Kinda dies with those regrets. Ive seen people say that one of fnaf's charms is that no character is 100% good and i LOVE that, and wanted to keep it up with Janet. Good mom and overall a good person, however made some bad decisions along the way and whatnot.

Im still working out specifics (ive been slowly working on a lil private fic abt her and william meeting + their early relationship) but uhhh. Minor notes that dont get their own paragraphs is that William sampled her voice for Ballora so yay easy voice claim, she had an on and off relationship with her band's lead singer (her name's Bev), her birth name is actually Janice Schmidt but if you call her Janice she'll knock at least 2 of ur teeth out, she's a runaway teen and got adopted by this older couple bc her home life kinda sucked (idk specifics yet), and also girlie has an extensive criminal record of minor angsty teen type charges. Also teen Mike dying his hair and then 2020's Michael's hairstyle are both kinda references to Janet's hair because he wnated to look less like his father. Thats all ty. No read more bc you WILL look at my mrs afton post, boy /j

Actually no theres more that im remembering as i write the tags and edit a few details. Back to her and William because god im insane about them. So for starters it. Well i was gonna say Janet was def the first to flirt but i think William definitely developed a crush first and they only kept talking bc of said crush so its kinda up for debate. Anyways yeah at first it was a HUGE sorta like "Well he's funny especially when I fluster him so this can be just a fun lil thing" but because they chatted more they def kinda like. Clicked more. William was a huge fan of listening to her music (from. a distance. he looked kinda like a creep but at least janet only misinterpreted it once) but like *specifically* janet he didnt give a fucking shit abt the rest of the band. Uhh. They had their first run-in and janet kinda. Well. Punched him in the nose before he cleared up that he is NOT a pervert or anything weird like that (bc a guy that looks older than he is staring from a distance when there is a clear crowd he could join kinda gave janet the Wrong idea), then they later bumped into each other in the hall and chatted for a bit, then they kinda just kept "accidentally" running into one another. Uhhh. Some cigaerette-themed flirting and a house party later, yay dating :] can you tell where the current cut-off of the fic is /j Also idk how to put this down properly but they are both runaways and can kinda. Get that vibe from one another. Literally Michael is like some fucked up abomination of the both of them between the troubled past + weird situationship thing + runaway stuff + a lot of minor details that arent important rn. I just. Yeah Janet means the world to me go thru her tag on my blog for some art. Not all of my janet art is posted but the non-posted stuff is all concept work/doodles or just. Shit im too embarrassed to post lmao. Anyways NOW im done ty for reading

#scov.txt #janet afton #fnaf: hauntings of the past au #scov.ocs #it goes into the oc tag bc fuck you thats why #RRAUAGAH I AM. SO INSANE OVER HER #afton family and their weird gay situationships. aka will + henry and mike + jeremy and janet + bev #IK A LOT OF THIS ISNT EVEN ABT HER KIDS im so sorry #i dont have a lotta thoughts on evan and honestly i domt have a lot of family details figured out #like. everything is kinda just. general basics #plus also i dont wanna give janet too much focus on account of shes not. extremely important #she has her role to play in the au but theres far more influential characters yknow??#anyways for those of you who have read this far both w/ post and tags. i have one last thing to share #my gf and i have a spinoff au and she and henry are currently dating (both got divorced long in advance dw)#(like. several decades ago. bc this is ghost shenanigans in the sb era)#thats all ty and gn (<- not sleeping its just night where i am)

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killersbasement · 2 years

Note

The slashers helping their partner, who is trans FTM?

Reminding them to take off their binder and have a break, helping them when it's that time of the month and they're feeling dysphoric, etc.

slashers with FTM s/o

sorry it took me forever to get to requests i died and got sent to hell

i’m not too well-versed in transition stuff so please let me know if i got something wrong

characters included : michael myers, jason voorhees, bubba sawyer, thomas hewitt, brahms heelshire, billy lenz, pyramid head

warnings : mentions of gender/body dysphoria and injections/needles

micheal myers

i feel like he wouldn’t notice at first

it’s weird he’s somehow extremely perceptive and oblivious at the same time

anyways once you do tell him what’s going on it’s like a lightbulb going off for him

if you need help with T shots he will help

he might hesitate more than usual cause i lowkey hc he has a fear of needles or just medical stuff in general

but god forbid he tells you that so he will help

hes bad at comfort in general but he’ll try his best

he has crazy good memory so if you forget to take off your binder for a while he’ll just straight up walk up to you and start taking it off LMAO

jason voorhees

he’s quite sensitive so he would notice something is wrong but wouldn’t know what

once you explain it it’ll still take a bit to click for him

but he’ll do his best to help you!!!

he can steal period products from trespassers for you

he will try (and fail) to discreetly stab out the parts on the box that are like ~we got you this time of the month girlie~

gotta appreciate the effort though he is so sweet

hes kind of forgetful but will eventually start reminding you to take your binder off

also if you ask him to help with T injections theres like a 15% chance he’ll mess up but usually does pretty good

bubba sawyer

i think out of all the slashers he would understand the fastest

i mean, he’s pretty in tune with his femininity lol

if you wanna cut your hair he will wanna help so bad

let him do it and he’ll do an okay job, but your hair will probably end up looking a lot like his

if you want that then for sure ask him

only really notices you need a break from wearin a binder when he sees it

like you’ll be changing and he’ll suddenly start poking at it and trying to pull it off of you

you probably shouldn’t ask him to help directly with shots his hands aren’t super steady

but he will sit next to you and hold your arm steady while you do it

thomas hewitt

at first he just thinks you have more normal self esteem issues

which he certainly gets

he’ll see you looking into the mirror, seeming upset, and just assume you don’t think you’re handsome enough or something

and he begs to differ btw

starts complimenting you whenever he sees you and he’s very sweet about it

when you do explain what’s going on it'll take a while of explaining for him to really get it

once he does though he is so helpful

50/50 chance he remembers you’re supposed to take breaks from wearing a binder

sometimes he just sees you with it and associates it with your normal look and won’t remember

other times he will though

uhh like bubba he probably isn’t super good at helping with shots

pretty good emotional support though

brahms heelshire

when he’s watching you from behind the walls he’ll definitely notice something is up

once you eventually explain it to him he will not get it at all im sorry

but he doesn’t like seeing you upset in any sense of the word so does what he usually does to comfort you

mostly does that physically (hugs, cuddles, etc)

i can’t decide if he would actually kill you if he tried to help with your T shots or if he’d be really good at it

i think he might have a pretty steady hand since he has to fix the doll a lot

theres about a 50% chance he starts associating binders with your regular appearance and won’t remember you’re supposed to take them off

if that doesn’t happen though he’s good about reminding you

if malcom comes around and notices period stuff in the delivery and starts trying to ask about it (“that time of the month, huh?”) brahms will just slam the door on his face LMAO

billy lenz

before i get to anything else,

DO NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ASK THIS MAN FOR HELP WITH T INJECTIONS HE WILL MESS UP SO BAD

his hands are so shaky

anyways other than that he’s surprisingly good at helping out with this sort of thing

surprisingly perceptive, like he’ll notice if you cringe whenever he calls you ‘pretty piggy’

hes gonna start using other adjectives after that

depends on how lucid he is on any given day but hes generally pretty good about reminding to take your binder off too

and by reminding you i mean running up to you and shoving your shirt up to start taking it off

he tries lmao

pyramid head

also quite perceptive

when he notices you being upset (probably because it’s hard to find stuff like binders in silent hill) he will poke at you and tilt his head until you tell him

to him there isn’t much difference between a boy human and a girl human but he understands it’s probably different for you

he will tie a shirt really tight around your chest if you talk about not having a binder to use

also he’ll bring you random clothes he finds on corpses if you don’t like your current ones

theyre usually unusable (due to a giant knife hole in them) but sometimes he’ll find something you really like

he can’t really comfort you verbally but for what he is he’s decent at helping and is definitely trying his best

#micheal myers #jason voorhees #bubba sawyer #thomas hewitt #brahms heelshire #billy lenz #pyramid head #micheal myers x reader #jason voorhees x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms heelshire x reader #billy lenz x reader #pyramid head x reader #x reader

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hms-no-fun · 10 months

Note

number six for the Homestuck ask meme!!!

what got me into homestuck? ah, it's... [long dramatic pause] complicated

i didn't read homestuck start to finish until i think near the end of 2015, finishing sometime in spring 2016. that might be a little early in the timeline though? it's hard to say. my best friend at the time urged me to read it because he was obsessed, and this was around the time of that "is homestuck the modern ulysses" video and the michael lutz homestuck piece for vice, so there was a lot of-- wait hold the fuck the phone, that idea channel video came out in 2012 and that lutz article came out in 2019???? dude what lmao okay well i'm officially an unreliable narrator

point is he got me to read it and i did and i loved it but i didn't really understand a lot of what happened. then my friend and i had a big falling out (which served as a partial inspiration for dave's reaction to june in godfeels 2.1), and it wasn't until late 2018 that i encountered a lot of the homestuck renaissance material that would reshape my understanding of the comic to what it is today.

but the funny thing? i actually read problem sleuth when it was still ongoing! might've even read jailbreak before that? in the early 2000s i read a looooooooooooooot of webcomics, and i'm ngl that's a huge foundation of my sense of humor. ryan north, kc green, david malki, kate beaton, meredith gran, allie brosh, a bunch of others... and i mean, god, of course i read ctrl+alt+del, penny arcade, vg cats. the awful christian furry opus JACK (which i read years before sandman, unfortunately for me). andrew hussie was right in there with that milieu, so i always thought of them as just like... Another One Of Those Guys. so many folks from that scene emerged out of the same online edgelord gamer subculture that birthed the true classics of Adult Swim. so when i got older, stopped reading webcomics as much, then got back into homestuck, i was kind of shocked to see how reactionary people were about hussie's past? that was just the scene, man. and andrew, like everyone else in that scene whose work remains relevant, grew right the fuck out of it. that growth is a big part of what i love about homestuck, because the arc of the kids learning to be less awful over the course of its runtime very much resonated with my experience growing up and out of that scene.

i think there's a lot of stuff in early homestuck especially that can be tough to understand because it's so rooted in that early internet culture, when gamers were nostalgic for point and click adventure games and thought they'd never see one hit the mainstream ever again. ah, what innocent times... unfortunately it turned out that point and click adventure games were never good and that's why homestuck is a documentary

#homestuck #andrew hussie #webcomics

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ohfallingdisco · 10 months

Note

I HAVENT BEEEN. IN MY BYLER FIC ITIME RECENTYL.

BJUT

BUT.

POST THE SHARPEST LIVES ON TUMBLR DOT COM RN!!!! WHEELER SIBLINGS FEELS??? AND ANGST??? AND MCR TITLE?????

[if you want to and hi and im being polite but i Must know more]

HII yeah no i totally get it lol, but The Sharpest Lives came on shuffle as i was writing what was meant to be a simple oneshot (!!!), and this happened—so, like, the power of mcr or something?…

anyway enjoy my favorite (huge) part lmao

tw for discussions (kind of) about period-typical homophobia

—

Will staggered, breathing suddenly loud.

The Party turned to look at him, but they all stayed frozen. His eyes were shut, but fluttering rapidly over a single tear running down his face.

Mike felt cold fear wash over him like a bucket of ice. It was all he could do to blink the spots away.

Carefully, El stepped to Will’s side—probably the person in the most danger, if what they all thought was happening was true—but as soon as her fingers brushed his arm, Will let out a tiny sob, sinking to the ottoman behind him and curling into El’s shoulder.

“Go,” he pleaded, voice strained, “you need to…please—”

“No,” she cut in, hugging him tighter. “No. You need me. We’ll fight him together.”

Max spoke up from her corner of his living room. “Wait, El—”

“No,” she fought, cradling Will’s head.

“It’s not time yet,” Will gasped, starting to lean away. His efforts were made worthless by the seize in his shoulders that made him fall back onto her, more tears leaking out. “He won’t come if there’s nothing to come for. Please, El.”

“He’s right,” Dustin said quietly, broken. “We can’t fight the Mindflayer and Vecna. Some of us have to go.”

“I’m not ready for him to die yet, either!” she screamed, face crumbling as she clutched at his shirt. “I can’t lose you, I can’t,” she sobbed, burying her face in his hair and crying.

Really.

Full-on crying.

She cared about Will as much as he did.

So—? He wanted to strangle himself, suddenly, for being the world’s best—Mike hurried forward, his head clearer than it had felt in years.

He was still who he always was. Why was he always afraid, now? He would rather fistfight the Mindflayer and lose to that bitch than let him take someone else.

Especially not his friends.

“El,” he said softly, brushing his fingers over her back. “I get it. I’m sorry. Go.”

“No, you don’t understand,” she cried, trying to push him away. “None of you do, I need—”

“El,” Will choked, sounding seconds away from a panic attack, “listen to Mike. I need you gone.”

Dustin sobbed quietly behind him.

“Yeah, Mike gets all the credit,” Max mumbled, sounding close to tears herself. “Come on. Give him space.”

That broke her off, and she stepped back, looking lost as she met their eyes in turn. “Will,” she whispered.

“I love you,” he replied, dropping his face down and wrapping his arms around his head. “Now get the hell out.”

Lucas stepped forward to pull her under his arm, tears flowing freely and silently. “We really love you, man,” he said, and drew a deep gulp of air before steering Will’s sister out. “Let’s—give him some space, yeah?”

Max in her chair and Dustin followed them out. Before Dustin shut the door, he looked back and met Mike’s gaze. “You coming?” he asked, clearly trying not to sound too depressed.

Mike shook his head emphatically, crossing his arms. “Take care of her, okay?”

He smiled brokenly back at Mike, eyes flicking to Will’s hunched frame. “Take care of him,” he returned, and looked at Mike with sad eyes one last time before letting the door click shut.

The resulting silence was suffocating.

Then a tiny shudder escaped Will’s mouth, his back shivering, and Mike dropped to his knees in between Will’s. “Hey,” he tried, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Hey, what do I do?”

Will’s head snapped up, eyes open and wild in a frenzy. They slammed shut again as soon as he made eye contact, and Will groaned through pursed lips.

“Michael,” he huffed, flexing his fingers on his knees. “Why didn’t you leave?”

“Because that’s a stupid idea, I’m not always stupid, and you’re not dying here,” he argued, trying to keep his voice level.

“Bullshit.” Every line of Will’s body read anger, but as he threw his head back, all Mike could think was how he couldn’t let him die. “I can’t try very hard anymore. Go with the others.”

He stared at the plaid on Will’s shirt, maybe just a little too distracted by the position he suddenly found himself in. “I—no. Shit, Will.”

“Mike, I’m infected again whether you like it or not, and I’m not going to just sit here and let you get killed with me.”

“As if that’s your choice,” he hissed, taking Will’s hands between them. “It’s my house, anyway, why do you think any of this is your choice?”

“Because I’m the one dying, Mike!” he yelled, raspy.

“Bullshit,” he repeated, squeezing Will’s hands hard. “Bull—you know it’s bullshit, so why are we even having this talk right now?”

“I’m pretty sure this counts as a fight,” Will snarked, scoffing. “Three major fights in as many years, Mike, that’s not what best friends do.”

“What if I don’t care?” he flung back, grabbing onto Will’s biceps. “What if I don’t give a shit, Will, you’re my best friend no matter how many times we have to—”

Soft, warm lips brushed his forehead, and his mind stuttered, frowning. They didn’t usually act this…parental, with each other, did they?

Then a thick, cloudy vine crashed through his mom’s window, shattering glass all over her nice rug, and everything went to hell.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Will breathed, clutching Mike’s biceps hard. “You were supposed to be gone…”

He gulped. With a slimy Upside Down vine slithering through his living room, looking for the one thing that thankfully mattered more to Mike than himself, everything seemed more—real.

“I’m not leaving, Will,” Mike repeated, shaky as he stared at the plant on his floor. It was really a shame that his family would have to find him dead with Will in their living room at some point, but…

“I wish you would,” Will said one more time.

“No.” Mike looked back at him.

A beat. Then, “Promise?” Will whispered, somehow managing to grip his biceps tighter. His voice trembled, and Mike hated it.

He stopped fighting the ridiculous urge and wrapped his arms tight around Will’s waist. There was nowhere left for Mike’s cheek except pressed up against his chest, but Will didn’t seem to mind, so he didn’t move. He could hear Will’s heart, here. The only downside was he would know exactly when—and how—the Mind Flayer got him. “I love you so much,” he admitted quickly, risking everything. “Like, in…in a love way.”

He felt a sharp stutter of breath from Will’s chest. His best friend’s arms slipped around his shoulders, holding him close.

“I mean—we’re going to die here, anyway. Yeah, why not. Mike, I’m. I’m not like the rest of Hawkins. They’ve always been right about me. I’ve been in love with you since I knew what that meant.”

Oh.

Wait. Just…wait.

Wow. Um.

…Oh.

This so happened to be an incredibly successful last few moments before death. His heart felt like it was skipping and swooning, as dumb as it sounded, making him feel lighter than he had in…well, years. He released a shaky breath against Will’s shirt, and Will’s arms tightened around his back.

Oh my god, he was so far gone for this boy. He was so perfect. His missing part.

It was almost enough to make him forget the demon literally in the room.

Wait. No. Scratch that. It was.

That’s why it was such a shock when it happened. He shivered as an ice-cold tentacle started slithering over his ankles, oozy and heavy. A startled sob slipped out against Will’s chest.

Shit. He had meant to die quietly, keep Will from watching. It was obvious, from the scrabbling grasp at his shirt and spike in Will’s breathing, that he was watching very closely, now.

“Will,” he demanded, tapping his fingers against his side, “tell me a story. Will…Will the Wise and his Paladin.”

“I can’t, Mike,” Will gasped, burying his face in his hair. “No, no, I can’t lose you like this, Mike—”

“I’m still here, Will! Talk to me. Will the Wise.”

A broken sob. “Mike—we were all supposed to make it. I thought we were all gonna make it.”

“I know,” he soothed, and found he didn’t mind. Comforting Will gave him a place to fit. “A little—ah—wooden…wooden cottage like Castle Byers, and, uh…a picture of us framed above our bed.”

Will sobbed again, trying to pull Mike impossibly closer. “You can’t be my Bob, I can’t do it, I need you—”

“I trust you,” he cut in, as another tentacle started slithering up his back, turning Mike’s spine ice cold. “I love you so much. So much. Stay with Dustin and Lucas and El and Max, okay?”

He gasped. “Not without you. I can’t—”

“You can,” he insisted, but the tentacles felt too icy and heavy and he couldn’t. He ducked his face into Will’s neck, whimpering. “I’m sorry,” he tried, and it didn’t feel like enough. “I’m sorry, I never meant to—”

And then the Mind Flayer pushed its way over his shoulder, and he had to stifle a scream, pushing back as hard as he could against the tentacles to try and give Will space to escape. It didn’t work.

Gently, Will’s shaking hands came up to curl into his hair. The tentacle was slung across both their shoulders, now, tying them impossibly close together, but Mike’s heart stuttered more from Will’s touch than the beast he’d wanted to fight.

Will’s face was quiet, full of meaning and heart and a deep, primordial ache. Hazel eyes shone in the awful light, and Mike just wanted to—well, he wanted to kiss him.

A lot.

“Hey, Mike, I’m glad you did,” he admitted, heaving a deep breath. “Alright? I—I would rather die knowing I was better for loving you, than regret never taking that chance.”

Oh, god.

“And…and if that means dying here with you, because I guess it does, than at least I’m with you. I’m…” His voice trailed off, breaking into a sob, and his forehead fell down against Mike’s.

The Mind Flayer had practically already completely entombed them. It had been faster, before, hadn’t it? When Billy died…another William, oh god…

“I love you,” Mike whispered, fingers clenching in the back of Will’s shirt. “So much. I’ll see you later, okay? Later.”

Will sniffed, breath warm against Mike’s face. “I’ll see you in the Upper Planes,” he promised, just a little bit of his old Cleric intonation peeking through.

God. If this was how Mike had to go, he was just happy to be with Will.

He just…

There were…there were sounds outside the window.

Rocks, voices, someone crying, it was…there was someone besides the Mindflayer outside his house?

A loud bullet shot past his head, and he yelped, eyes shooting open. Will’s eyelids were still fluttering, the room the same as it was before. It was just…outside sounds.

They were shooting at them? What the—?

“Will, hey, stay still,” Mike instructed, glancing towards where the bullet had gone. He thought it might have lodged in the wall. What kind of shitty guns were they using?

He felt his breath catch. “What?”

“Will,” Mike said again, “listen.”

A bang, and a grunt from just inside the window. They were coming in.

“Boys?” Nancy said, a click as she reloaded—hang on, that was his sister. His sister.

It was like a dam broke all at once at her voice, letting loose a dangerous flood. A sob broke out of him, churning his stomach.

“Mike?” Nancy asked urgently, just before another shot rang out. There came a low hiss from the icy arm slithered up his back, and he felt it start to writhe. The slime made him feel like puking. “Mike, I need you to talk. Come on, talk to me…”

Another harsh reload. A hand was holding the back of his head, joining in the pleas for him to say something. He was dimly aware that his head had tipped back, but he didn’t think he had the energy to do anything about it. Something hurt, too, behind him. He wondered what.

A shot. A screech from his back, and he was being pulled backward. Hands grabbed his wrists, fighting for him, but the suction was too strong.

A sticky tentacle slapped over the back of his head, and the world cut to black as he just kept falling.

•••

So. The hospital air was gross.

Nancy might never have been as close to her little brother as her boyfriend to his, or even half as nice, but she wanted him to be able to say at least she was there when he really needed her.

Of course, he couldn’t know she had been by his bedside all day, and they had no idea when he would wake up (at least he would), but she wanted to be here. Jon’s friend Argyle had taken Will to eat (at least he would), so it was just her and her brother in his bright white hospital room. He had gotten out of surgery yesterday, for the massive patches of welts, cuts, and bruises, all over his back, and been moved straight here to sleep off the surgery on his stomach (at least he could). They suspected he might also have a concussion, but the worst of it had been circumvented by how quickly she had managed to shoot Mike free. Or whatever other bullshit explanation the doctors decided to market.

Will, with his bruised, popped elbow and fractured shin, had been in here almost as much as she had, but she’d been let in first, so she had a little more time clocked. So far, she had been the only member of Mike’s family in the room. She had given permission for the surgeries, so she had no idea if their mom had even been contacted. Even if they were, Ted would still stay out of town with Holly.

She was doing everything she could to help Mike out. So was it too selfish of her to wish, at the same time, that she could be out there, too, hunting down the monsters they had to beat to get to Vecna?

Nothing had even shown up at their house. Just terrifying, tentacled vines, apparently quicker than anything else the Upside Down had produced so far. Steve and Dustin were coasting around town looking for more, Robin was keeping an eye on the high school gym, and Jonathan, Lucas, and Erica were barricading Nancy and Mike’s house—apparently, a sweet spot for paranormal activity. They were at most risk of getting cornered by Vecna. She kept telling herself that didn’t terrify her. Max was running comms, relaying important information between the groups with Cerebro because of its wider reach and clearer sound. Will had confessed he wanted to stay by Mike’s side in case of government overreach, and because of it she had even considered leaving Mike in his care to go help defend the town. But, once Jonathan’s friend Argyle had shown up to take Will away, she had almost made up her mind to stay.

Mike looked better, yes—but not good. And the tentacle creatures had clearly been targeting him, from what she had seen in the living room. Was he at risk of Vecna, then, for more than just a connection to El?

She wished she knew someone who would know. It must be nice, she thought, a bitter smile pulling at her lips, to be eighteen and not already have been a bitter, sour adult for years. She had done her best to set a decent example for her siblings. Maybe they, at least, could get it right.

Nancy leaned back in her chair, a huff escaping her lips. She let herself sigh, tipping her head back.

Another thing she was avoiding was how this felt like it could also be sitting at her brother’s side after he got hate-crimed for his friendship with Will. It was always something she’d been worried about, all too aware of the way people looked at him when they went out, how Ted had only started to recede into something that made her mother guilty after his son started gushing slightly too much about his friend at the dinner table. It was nowhere on the same level, she knew, but…she thought she might have some inkling of how the surface of it could feel, between Vecna and the terrible week Will went missing where her name was plastered up all over dozens of signs across Hawkins.

Mike was not into girls. She hadn’t thought, when he was dating El, to bring it up—maybe he’d changed his mind?—but now she saw clearer than ever that her little brother still hung off his best friend’s every word.

He was such a repressed sap, when he was awake. And he couldn’t keep his own secrets for shit. Her brother would inevitably tell her soon, as he was running off on some other life-or-death mission. Then he would hate her for pointing it out, probably cuss at her until she stopped, and they could laugh it off. She hoped he would do it.

The Wheelers were not the Byers. They would never be Joyce, Will, or Jonathan, but they would be okay. She wanted him to be able to say she would be there for him, should he need her.

The door to the room swung open, and a nurse appeared, pushing a tray filled with damp cloths, water, and ointments—nothing too dangerous. He gave Nancy a tired smile, sneakers squeaking as moved to Mike’s side.

His face was strangely glassy. She wondered how many deaths he’d had to deal with since Hawkins cracked like an egg all over.

“Your friends are in the hallway,” the nurse informed her blankly. “You might trade out for some sleep while you can.”

—

…aaaaand ending it there because it’s really a BEAST of a fic which i don’t have completely finished yet (and was totally meant to originally be a oneshot 😭) lmao hope it was decent!! <3

#the sharpest lives wip #byler fic #byler wip #byler #cool people

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nice-and-accurate-ramblings · 9 months

Text

⚠️WARNING: Good Omens Season 2 Episode 5 Spoilers below the cut!

Don’t click on the read more if you don’t want spoilers!!

Lmao Shax is NOT getting a legion of hell

“I have a permit” “this just says ‘I can do what I want’” kinda energy

“Can I watch?” Crowley is sooo along for the shenanigans

HE GAVE AWAY A BOOK

TWICE?!?!?!

AZIRAPHALE. WHAT.

Okay no but this circles around to that lovely headcanon that he doesn’t actually mind selling or giving away books as long as it’s to the right people

NOT THE FRENCH AGAIN. AZIRAPHALE PLEASE. SHE IS SO DONE WITH YOU

At least his French is better now

CROWLEY IS SO DONE LMAOOO

Shax scary o_o

“You’ve been together long? You and your partner?”

“IT CERTAINLY LOOKS LIKE THAT FROM HERE”

“HES NOT MY BIT ON THE SIDE, FAR TOO PURE OF HEART TO BE ANYONE’S BIT ON THE SIDE, HE’S JUST AN ANGEL… I know”

MR GAIMAN I AM IN YOUR WALLS FOR THAT ONE

Oh he looks DEEP in thought

Shax is going to commit murders. And then take the stairs

WELL THAT WAS A LOT TO PROCESS BEFORE THE THEME SONG EVEN HIT

Theory while the theme song plays: is it a play by Gabriel and Beelzebub to restart Armageddon? Gabs goes missing, everyone is watching the situation, hell sends an army to attack an archangel, war ensues??

“Smited? Smote?” “Smitten” yeah someone here is smitten alright 👀 two someones actually

*leaves* *grabs the bottle of wine on the way out*

Ohhh Nina honey please please please leave her. This is some Grade A Toxic Shit

I want to give Nina a huggg

CROWLEY. STOP. TALKING. YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO SPILL THAT SECRET. THAT IS A VERY IMPORTANT SECRET.

Crowley holy shit

Gabriel holy shit

“My head isn’t built for that” kind of like how Job’s wasn’t built for that? Is he human now????

IN A MATCHBOX?!?!

HE TOOK IT OUT FIRST AND PUT IT IN. THE BOX HE BROUGHT HERE.

If it happens again it’ll seem like an institutional problem? GABRIEL WHAT. THE FUCK.

“Do you want a hot chocolate” 🥺🥺🥺

Oh my god the angels know absolutely nothing about humans

MURIEL!!!!

Uriel and Michael have a wonderful silver and gold vibe happening here

Crowley shut the fuck up you are nice

WAIT AND SEE

I HAVE WAITED. LET ME SEE. L E T M E S E E.

OH THAT’S MRS. SANDWICH

oh Aziraphale you are either so oblivious or so incredibly ace or both

Aziraphale really said WE ARE HOSTING A BALL

Ohhh Nina I am giving you the biggest hug. You’re better off, queen 🥺

“For once in your life, trust somebody” “You’re weird!!” Correct response. He is weird. But yeah listen to him.

JIM WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

AZIRAPHALE THIS IS INSANE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

“YOU YOUNG PEOPLE” SHSHDJFJFKG

Oh no Maggie you need to run. Like. Now.

Thank you Crowley 😭

Okay Aziraphale this is uh. Weird. This is getting creepy fast.

Is she… you know… a seamstress 👀

I now understand why choreography was needed for this episode

Aziraphale’s face when watching them dance,, it’s the toesy-woesies face,,,

Gabriel is being flirted with en masse and is entirely oblivious

PERHAPS YOU COULD TELL ME WHILE WE DANCE

I-

I AM

HAJSKDKDKDKFNGKKSKFJGKHLLDKF

Shax I swear if you interrupt this I will find a way to reach through the screen and strangle you myself

“I know I’m hard work” “I’m not afraid of hard work” Maggie and Nina have my whole entire heart agghhh

THEY ARE DANCINGGGGGG

Aziraphale you are really not underestimating how much trouble you’re actually in

Oh fuck oh shit oh no

“You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will.” Someone explain why I am about to cry.

THE COAT, GABRIEL WHAT

oh no the two tiny half miracles were too effective

T-O-S-T-E. TOAST.

CROWLEY GOING LAWYER MODE AHSHDJDJF

Oh my god he made it up I love him. I love him so much this is 🤌🤌🤌

Oh hi Mr. Brown you’re about to get murdered.

HM. YEAH HE UH. HE DID GET MURDERED.

“Have you got your hand in” “oh I’ve got more than that” “I bet you do”

CROWLEY YOU ARE IN FACT A GOOD LAD. LISTEN TO MRS. SANDWICH

I-

“Make your own plans” “Oh I am! But rescuing me makes him so happy!” I AM GOING INSANE. I HAVE NO WORDS. I JUST. GIVE ME A FUCKING MINUTE.

oh hi Muriel!

“Good job! You arrested me!” “You’re arresting me, why would I be trying to trick you?” If this upsets Muriel I am legally obligated to throw hands

WHAT IS HAPPENING

On to episode 6, I am slowly losing my mind 😀👍

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #good omens s2 #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens liveblog

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feydfuckernation · 2 years

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after seeing ash’s response to this post i want to talk for a second about the subject of elvis and impersonation vs portrayal.

elvis impersonators have been around almost as long as elvis himself, with the first impersonator being a man by the name of carl “cheesie” nelson from texarkana who, in 1954 who performed his own renditions of “that’s alright, mama” and “blue moon of kentucky,” and even got to perform onstage alongside elvis that same year. since then, elvis impersonators have been a staple of american pop culture—with a notable presence in las vegas specifically—but it’s not exclusive to america. simply put, ash is right; elvis is one of, if not THE most impersonated pop culture icon in american—and rock n’ roll—history.

there are a few notable portrayals of elvis onscreen: elvis (1979) directed by john carpenter (often touted as the best portrayal of elvis), elvis and nixon (2016), more of a comedy film above all else but still one of the more notable portrayals of elvis in recent years, bubba ho-tep (2002) starring bruce campbell as elvis, the elvis miniseries from 2005 starring jonathan rhys meyers (who bears an uncanny resemblance to elvis) and of course the most recent film starring austin butler, just to name a few. this is not a comprehensive list by any means, but are (to me) the most notable attempts at bringing elvis to the small and silver screen respectively. i can’t speak to every portrayal of elvis ever that exists in media (and i haven’t seen elvis and nixon in a very long time) but i can speak to austin butler, kurt russell and jonathan rhys meyer’s portrayals in particular when it comes to just the performance aspect of elvis, which is where immitation vs portrayal really comes into play for me.

JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS

by all accounts and purposes, jonathan rhys meyers was practically tailor made to play elvis presley

i mean honestly.

unfortunately i made the mistake of watching the miniseries after i had already seen austin butler’s performance and it was. not good lmao. i think for the time it was quite good, but it very much comes across as someone trying to imitate elvis versus actually inhabiting him as a person and making him come alive (also as an aside i know we tend to clown on tom hanks for his portrayal of the colonel because of how he sounds but at least he’s not boring lmao. if randy quaid’s version is more accurate then this is really gonna bite me in the ass but my god no one can ever accuse tom hanks of being boring in elvis 2022), particularly when he’s dancing. there was such a fluidity to the way elvis moved and it comes off very disjointed by comparison.

KURT RUSSELL

i want to preface this with the fact that i haven’t seen all of john carpenter’s elvis film, but what i have seen is significantly better than elvis the miniseries, and at a time when kurt russell wasn’t particularly well known. for a lot of people this is their favourite portrayal of elvis onscreen, and i can certainly see why. while kurt russell doesn’t look as much like elvis as jonathan rhys meyers does, he also doesn’t come across like another cheap imitator, but he also doesn’t fully inhabit elvis the way austin does (to me) and it does break my immersion a little bit. there are times where his portrayal feels a little overexaggerated, but again, not quite as bad as jonathan rhys meyer’s portrayal (which isn’t wholly his fault. bad direction is 100% a thing and i happen to like jonathan rhys meyers as an actor. i think for a number of reasons things just weren’t clicking very well, and that’s not entirely his fault).

AUSTIN BUTLER

the moment i’ve all been waiting for

much like kurt russell (and even michael shannon in elvis and nixon) austin butler is not someone who wholly resembles elvis compared to jonathan rhys meyers. what he DOES do, however, is make up for it with literally everything else. i’m not going to say that an actor doing their own singing is the sole marker for whether or not their portrayal has any real merit, but it DOES make it more impressive when compared to other actors who didn’t or weren’t able to, and that’s not their fault! there are certain artists that are very iconic and not easily imitated (see: freddy mercury). even austin butler didn’t do all his own singing in elvis once they started to transition into the later years where elvis’ own voice was a lot stronger and a lot richer and a lot harder to imitate than it was in his earlier years. but it’s not just about whether or not austin butler could do his own singing. it’s about the fact that, of the three most recent musical biopics—bohemian rhapsody, rocketman and elvis—at the end of the day, elvis is a much more complicated figure to portray in lieu of how regularly impersonated and oversimplified he is by comparison. to portray elvis with any degree of honesty is very, very complicated. elvis (2022) in general was uniquely poised to fail; a highly complicated subject paired with a relatively unknown actor (when compared to someone like rami malek or taron egerton) all riding on an 85 million dollar budget? the fact that this movie DIDN’T crash and burn is a miracle. even people who didn’t particularly like elvis (2022) generally have something good to say about austin butler’s portrayal of elvis, which isn’t usual for a film that can be as polarizing as this one (largely due to the fact that baz lurhman is somewhat of a controversial filmmaker due to his very maximalist style), and i think a lot of that is because austin found a way in as an actor to dismantle the almost godlike mythology surrounding elvis and relate to him as a person (austin’s mother also died when he was around the same age as elvis) in addition to all the hard work he put into studying the man for the better part of two years. there is an earnestness and an authenticity to his performance that is so captivating and it makes you root from him in a way that is so counterintuitive considering elvis died when he was only 42 years old.

essentially what i’m trying to say is that, at the end of the day, elvis (2022) should not have worked, and i’m not going to say the only reason it did is because of austin butler, but austin butler IS part of why this film DID work, and, like ash said, it made me care about who elvis was as a person. a figure that, for my entire life, was relegated to That Dude From Lilo And Stitch and a secondary figure that i just assumed my dad really liked growing up with a few songs i liked, and not much else. this movie doesn’t get everything right, in part because it doesn’t cover absolutely everything in elvis’ life and in part because musical biopics are just kind of like that (and, to be fair, i can excuse this one a little bit given how subjective it is when you consider the fact that this film is almost exclusively from the colonel’s point of view), but it made me care. i care about who elvis was and what he did and what he went through. it made me want to learn more about who he was and at times it broke my heart even more than the film already did. what austin did, over two years of very, VERY hard work, was not just an imitation of elvis. it was a portrayal. it was real. it was genuine. it felt lived in. there was an authenticity to what he did that simply isn’t there for any other portrayal i’ve seen thus far. he deserves every single accolade he gets and i hope the presley estate can finally rest knowing someone did their loved one justice.

(credit to @troubleinapinksuit for sharing your thoughts 💕 i agree with every word you said)

#lion.txt #meta tag ig #??????? idk what else to tag it as other than meta lmao #austin butler #elvis 2022 #elvis presley #didn't proofread this because it's 2am so if you see me barely holding onto my thesis or answering any questions...mind ur business #fsldkjfds #anyway i'm tired i'm going to bed #feel free to hmu abt this or smthn idk #troubleinapinksuit #ty again ash for sharing ur thoughts #ilu

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aphantimes · 1 year

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Knuckles voice actor ranking time!!!!!!! I said I’d do this after Prime came out but I’m slow hush

Going from worst to best (even though number one should be very obvious if you know anything about me). ofc, nothing against any of these VAs I’m judging them solely on how I personally think they stack up as voices for a fictional echidna!!!!! OK LET’S GET STARTED.

In last place, the 14th spot, is Fred Tatasciore, from the Sonic Drone Home short. I understand that he was just a replacement for Idris Elba for a little short, but this voice for Movie Knuckles is very unfitting. And, I know this isn’t the actor’s doing, but some of the way the lines were put together in the short felt very stiff and unnatural? And the voice itself makes him sound like a meat head. Bleh. Just, not a fan. 13th is Brian Drummond, from Sonic Underground. It’s.. a very different interpretation of his voice, lol? It’s the most high pitched and “cartoony” one, to me. It’s not bad at all tbh, just.. idk, not what I was expecting lol. It’s fine. Pre-Frontiers Dave B. Mitchell would be here instead if judged solely by his Team Sonic Racing performance. That specific performance was way more ear-bleeding to me than Brian Drummond’s will ever be. 12th is Bill Wise, from the English dub of the Sonic OVA. Similar to Brain Drummond, I don’t actually dislike this voice at all. It’s just very different to the others, so I’m not sure how to rank it. Apples and oranges, y’know? He makes Knuckles sound more like an average guy instead of a cartoon character, which is why he’s above Brian Drummond, but that’s really it. It’s a perfectly solid performance. 11th is Adam Nurada from Sonic Prime. I have similar complaints as everyone else has had, his voice is just too deep. And some specific lines stand out as being especially bad, giving me “Patrick Star” vibes. But, when he’s not sounding like an impression of THE idiot cartoon character, I do actually like his take on Knuckles. I think if he didn’t force his voice deeper than necessary he would sound great, I’m assuming it’s a direction problem? It’s a bit of a mixed bag, some lines are bad, but most are fine and even good. The previous two are better performances imo, but as a character voice for Knuckles, I give Adam Nurada the edge. 10th is Ryan Drummond. Yeah, Sonic’s first English voice actor. He voiced Knuckles for one game, being Sonic Shuffle. It’s basically just a Michael McGaharn impression lmao. It’s got that “generic super hero voice” vibe that reminds me of Knuckles’ SA1 E3 voice lol. 9th is Michael McGaharn, from SA1. I like how young and confused he sounds, he makes Knuckles actually sound like a naive teenager, but I have to admit that the delivery is very flat and emotionless. Parts of the E3 version are more emotive, but it has that problem I just mentioned where it sounds like some super hero voice, which makes me feel like the character himself is acting, which brings me out of it. I did really like this direction for the character, but the execution was a little shaky. 8th is Yasunori Matsumoto, his Japanese OVA voice. AFAIK this is Knuckles’ first voiced appearance, ever? I really like the deep voice, and how he sounds like an average dude. Honestly I would probably rank him higher bc this is just exactly what I want out of a Knuckles voice lol, but it’d just feel wrong for me to put this one-off role above the actors that stuck with the character for multiple years. It’s really good. 7th is Travis Willingham. He is amazing as Boom Knuckles and fits perfectly, but for game Knuckles, he just never... clicked for me. I look at Knuckles and hear Travis’ voice come out of him and there’s just a disconnect for me. It just... isn’t Knuckles to me. He’s an amazing actor, and fits fine enough, but he never felt quite right as Knuckles, to me. He is PEAK as Boom Knuckles, tho. There’s none of that disconnect at all when his voice comes from Boom Knuckles’ mouth. 6th is Dave B. Mitchell. As previously stated, if this were solely based on his TSR performance he would be way down at the bottom of the ranking. I can only assume it was due to terrible direction. That TSR voice is literally unlistenable to me. But, since then, his Knuckles voice has improved significantly. I do admit that it sounds very much like a Travis impression, but something about the more recent direction makes me prefer Dave’s take, while I still have to admit that I think Travis is objectively a better actor. Dave was amazing in Frontiers, and was great in the twitter takeover. Somehow, his voice coming out of Knuckles’ character model feels more fitting than Travis’ ever did to me. It may just be a writing thing. I’m glad Dave has good material to work with now. It’s still not quite the kind of voice I would prefer for Knuckles, but he does a good job.

5th is Dan Green. Dan Green was probably the Knuckles voice I had the most exposure to as a kid, because I watched Sonic X’s dub. He sounds fantastic when he yells, lol. I love the energy he brings to the character. He was really fitting for the character, and I do wish Knuckles would go back to having this kind of voice. I.. really have nothing bad at all to say about his Knuckles voice. He’s only fifth because I personally like the upcoming four better, it’s just preference. He’s great.

4th is Scott Dreier. I just LOVE how chill he is, while still being able to nail the angrier lines. Objectively, he’s not as good of an actor as many of the previous entries, but as a Knuckles voice I adore his take. When I read Knuckles lines in fics, this voice is the closest to what I hear.. though I tend to not include the American accent lol. Some of his delivery is a little monotonous, especially in SA2, but tbh I kinda prefer his SA2 performance more than his Heroes one. I like how calm it is. I tend to not prefer when he ramps up the gruffness too much, it sounds like he’s trying too hard, but when he hits that balance just right it is GREAT. It sounds like I’m dropping a lot of negatives but that’s just because it’s a little inconsistent, but those parts of this Knuckles voice that I like, I REALLY like. 3rd is Vincent Tong. REALLY surprising that one of Sonic Prime’s new Knuckles VAs is up so high! We don’t get to hear him do a “normal” Knuckles voice, because he voices all of Knuckles’ shatterverse variants (Renegade, Gnarly and Dread), but he does AMAZING. His range is absolutely insane! Every one of the three versions of Knuckles he voices sound perfect for that specific variant. When I heard his voice for Dread my first assumption was that they pulled in a third voice actor because it was so drastically different to the others, but no it’s still him! It’s incredibly impressive! Some of Renegade’s lines where the accent is less present are PERFECT for normal Knuckles. Literally my ideal English Modern Knuckles voice. Like if Game Knuckles was given a voice like that, and it stuck around, my life would be complete. I WOULD BE SO HAPPY. 2nd is Idris Elba. Do I even need to explain!? He KILLED it as Movie Knuckles. He stole the entire movie! That casting decision was absolutely phenomenal. He does such an amazing job. It doesn’t feel like one of those cases where they hire a celebrity just for the sake of the name, he actually fits the character flawlessly. Any other voice simply would not work. He makes Knuckles sound intimidating, but also bluntly honest and trusting, and carries his comedy perfectly. Some of the jokes WOULD NOT have landed as well if it weren’t for his amazing delivery. Knowing that he’ll be returning for the Knuckles series is half the reason I’m so excited for it. If I heard that they were getting someone else to voice Movie Knuckles for the series, I think I’d be... concerned. But with Idris Elba on board, I know that, at the very least, Knuckles will sound great in the series. And in 1st place is, of course, Nobutoshi Canna. Knuckles’ Japanese voice actor that has stuck around since Sonic Adventure all the way back in 1998. He was perfect back then, and remains perfect today. He has voiced Knuckles in EVERYTHING since Sonic Adventure. Every game, every show, everything (barring the Sonic Movie 2) . He has been with the character for decades. He is THE Knuckles. I revisit some of my favourite lines of his all the time because I just can’t get enough of his voice. I LOVE WHEN HE YELLS SO MUCH. There’s something about his.. enunciation? that I just ADORE. idk how to describe it, there’s just some quality to his voice that I could listen to for FOREVER. The only negative I can think of is that he does not work for Boom Knuckles. His voice is just incompatible with a dumb Knuckles, that was the only case where it would’ve been better find another VA in my opinion. But for every other Knuckles he’s voiced is just utter perfection. I cannot sing enough praise for this man.

#woof this took like 2 hours #i am bad at organising my thoughts #i shuffled the rankings so many times aahg #knuckles the echidna #sonic x #sonic boom #sonic prime #sonic movie

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