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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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Is Han Solo Stupid? An Investigation

New Post has been published on http://funnythingshere.xyz/is-han-solo-stupid-an-investigation/

Is Han Solo Stupid? An Investigation

It’s been roughly three months since the dust has settled on Han Solo’s standalone movie, Solo: A Star Wars Story. And now the Lucasfilm train is rolling forward with the start of production of the untitled Episode IX – which will see pretty much every classic character returning other than Han Solo. (Though, it would be funny, after Han died basically three times in The Force Awakens, if he showed up again with no explanation: “Hey, how can I help?’ “Great to have you back, Han.”)

But the one quote I haven’t stopped thinking about since that film came out was a quote from Lawrence Kasdan that he’s been saying since at least 2015, “He’s cynical. He’s tough. He’s pragmatic. He’s not that smart.” These quotes resurfaced when Phil Lord and Chris Miller left Solo, with the point being made that Han Solo is not “funny,” but instead cynical and dumb.

Of the films in the Original Trilogy, Kasdan was only involved in Return of the Jedi from start to finish. He wasn’t involved with Star Wars at all and came on late to The Empire Strikes Back. (With Empire, Leigh Brackett wrote the first draft and it’s a fascinating thing to read and looks very little like what that movie turned out to be. Lucas then rewrote Empire himself, declining a writer’s credit. Kasdan then came on to rewrite the dialogue.)

But, here’s the question: Is Han Solo actually stupid?

Let’s go through all of Han Solo’s major moments in the Original Trilogy where he has to make some key decisions and we can decide.

STAR WARS

Lucasfilm

Mos Eisley Cantina

Here’s where we first meet Han Solo. In this establishing scene Han is definitely overconfident and seems a little defensive when Luke and Ben had never heard of the Millennium Falcon. Han says the price for his services is 10,000, but over the course of the negotiation that figure goes up to 17,000.

Then, when confronted by Greedo, Han wastes little time dispensing of poor Greedo when he starts to seem like a threat. And then after all this, Han still escapes with all of his passengers unscathed even as Stormtroopers attack the docking bay.

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Millennium Falcon

Han’s moment here is to tell Luke and Ben that he’s seen a lot of strange things but he doesn’t believe in the Force. Now, in the context of the original Star Wars, the Force is a lot more mysterious than it became later. The case could be made pretty easily that it was all nonsense. As a viewer, we don’t see anything levitate until Empire, which is why it was so shocking the first time we see Luke use the Force to grab his lightsaber on Hoth. So in the context of what we know in this movie alone, Han isn’t being stupid, he’s just being skeptical.

Verdict: Skeptical, but not stupid

Lucasfilm

Remnants of Alderaan

When the Millennium Falcon reaches what’s left of Alderaan, Han decides to follow a TIE Fighter in the hopes to destroy it, which is maybe a little stupid. But we can give Han the benefit of the doubt here that in situations like this before, not letting that TIE Fighter tell the rest of the Empire about the Falcon’s location is maybe a smart move. Regardless, once the Falcon is caught in the Death Star’s tractor beam, Han decides he’s going to fight the Death Star on his own, which is really dumb. But then Ben quickly talks him out of it and decide to hide instead. So at least here it shows Han is somewhat reasonable.

Verdict: Had some stupid ideas but didn’t really do anything stupid

Lucasfilm

Death Star

For most of the Death Star sequence, Han just kind of goes along with other people’s plans. Luke is the one who comes up with the idea to pretend Chewbacca is a prisoner and Leia comes up with the whole trash compactor plan. The one decision that is actually Han’s here is the one to chase a bunch of Stormtroopers down a hallway. On the surface this is dumb, but it’s actually a smart move. If Han, Chewbacca, Luke, and Leia all run, they will be captured. But instead Han pretends that their group is much larger than it is and turns the tables on the Stormtroopers. Sure, the Stormtroopers figure this out, but Han has already bought their group a lot of needed time. (It’s this scene, more than any other, that I wish we had seen more like it in Solo.)

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Death Star Escape

After escaping the Death Star (which, yes, was Vader and Tarkin’s plan all along), Han and Luke have a nice moment in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. Han realizes that Luke has feelings for Leia and, basically, decided to mess with him. “Do you think a princess and a guy like me…” to which Luke cuts him off and says, “no.” Han smiles because he’s gotten under Luke’s skin.

Verdict: Cocky

Lucasfilm

Yavin

Han wants no part of an attack on the Death Star and he’s taking his money and leaving before the Rebel base is destroyed.

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Assault on the Death Star

Han comes back in the nick of time to save his buddy Luke, giving Luke a clear shot on the Death Star. This is one of Han’s most heroic moments but it was also a little stupid. But here Han isn’t any more stupid than the entire Rebel Alliance.

Verdict: A little stupid but it worked out

***

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

Lucasfilm

Hoth

Han ignores the advice of that poor Rebel soldier about Taun Taun’s freezing and ventures out in the night to rescue Luke. This isn’t Han being dumb because he knows the risks, it’s just brave because he has to save Luke. And then Han is smart enough to use Luke’s lightsaber to cut open the Taun Taun and use its warmth to save Luke. Han also figures out that an attack by the Empire is imminent, resulting in an evacuation being ordered.

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

The Asteroid Field

Han famously ignores the odds and flies into an asteroid field in an effort to escape an Imperial convoy. This feels less “dumb” and more “we are out of options.” In the end, it doesn’t really work out, but it at least buys them all some time. Also, Han tricking a Star Destroyer into thinking the Millennium Falcon is attacking, then attaching itself to the backside of the ship is very clever.

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Cloud City

Han doesn’t fully trust Lando at first either, but succumbs to Lando’s charms. Leia even tries to warn Han that this all smells and Han just gets defensive about the whole thing. In the first two films, this is probably Han’s dumbest moment. Once C-3PO shows up in a box, they all should have gotten out of there as quickly as possible. But, during the carbon freezing scene, Han is smart enough to know that he needs to surrender. When Chewbacca starts to fight, it’s Han who talks him out of it, knowing it’s futile at this point. Han accepts his fate knowing it is the best thing for his friends.

Verdict: Han got tricked, which is dumb, but he was still smart enough to save his friends

***

RETURN OF THE JEDI

Lucasfilm

Tatooine

After being thawed out, Han tries to bargain with Jabba when he’s in no position whatsoever to bargain. When Han hears that they are being thrown into the Pit of Carkoon, he comments that it doesn’t sound that bad. Han then kind of just stand there while everyone else does the fighting. Though, Han does accidentally ignite Boba Fett’s jetpack, sending him into the Sarlacc.

Verdict: Dumb

Lucasfilm

The Rebel Fleet

Han accepts a promotion in the Rebel Alliance and, even though he’s the best pilot in the galaxy, he agrees to lead a ground strike force on a moon of Endor, making sure his greatest skill isn’t used at all.

Verdict: Dumb

Lucasfilm

Endor

Han does a lot of dumb things on Endor. When his team encounters two Biker Scouts, Han says he’ll handle it and of course gets caught when he steps on a loud branch and then gets punched. This results in Luke and Leia having to clean up Han’s mess, which eventually gets Leia separated from the rest of the team.

Then Chewbacca finds some meat randomly hanging in the forest and Han just looks at it like an idiot and says he doesn’t get it. It’s again Luke who has to warn them it’s bait, but it’s too late and Han and his team are captured.

At the Ewok village, Han finds Leia crying after she just found out Luke is her brother and Vader is her father, but Han can’t read the room and instead accuses her of being in love with Luke. To his credit, he comes back and apologizes, but come on, Han.

When Han and his team raid the bunker, his big plan is to do it “real quiet like.” (When did Han Solo ever used to talk like this?) Another tactic Han uses is the ol’ “tap on one shoulder but I’m really on the other side” technique. Of course, it’s a trap and Han and his team are captured, again. Then, finally, after R2-D2 is shot, Han thinks he can hotwire open a door and, instead, manages to close a second set of doors. It is actually insane that somehow, in the end, Han and his team manage to blow up the shield generator because Han Solo, on this mission, is the worst leader in the history of the Rebellion. It’s no wonder by the time we see him in The Force Awakens he’s just kind of floating through space smuggling monsters.

Verdict: Dumb

So the answer is that in both Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back, Han Solo is fairly intelligent – or, at the very least, very clever. By the time we see him in Return of the Jedi he is a dumb guy who says stuff like “We’ll do it real quiet like.” The only in-story explanation is that the carbonite made him dumb.

Final Verdict: The Han Solo from Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back is not the same character as the one from Return of the Jedi.

You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.</em

Source: https://uproxx.com/movies/is-han-solo-stupid/

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recentnews18-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/is-han-solo-stupid-an-investigation/

Is Han Solo Stupid? An Investigation

But, here’s the question: Is Han Solo actually stupid?

Let’s go through all of Han Solo’s major moments in the Original Trilogy where he has to make some key decisions and we can decide.

STAR WARS

Lucasfilm

Mos Eisley Cantina

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Millennium Falcon

Verdict: Skeptical, but not stupid

Lucasfilm

Remnants of Alderaan

Verdict: Had some stupid ideas but didn’t really do anything stupid

Lucasfilm

Death Star

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Death Star Escape

Verdict: Cocky

Lucasfilm

Yavin

Han wants no part of an attack on the Death Star and he’s taking his money and leaving before the Rebel base is destroyed.

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Assault on the Death Star

Verdict: A little stupid but it worked out

***

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

Lucasfilm

Hoth

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

The Asteroid Field

Verdict: Smart

Lucasfilm

Cloud City

Verdict: Han got tricked, which is dumb, but he was still smart enough to save his friends

***

RETURN OF THE JEDI

Lucasfilm

Tatooine

Verdict: Dumb

Lucasfilm

The Rebel Fleet

Verdict: Dumb

Lucasfilm

Endor

Verdict: Dumb

Final Verdict: The Han Solo from Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back is not the same character as the one from Return of the Jedi.

You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.</em

Source: https://uproxx.com/movies/is-han-solo-stupid/

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okimargarvez · 4 years

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PUSH TO THE LIMITS

Original title: Push to the limits.

Prompt: post 12x7, Luke tries to make amends.

Warning: none.

Genre: romantic, funny.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Jennifer Jareau.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 63 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💑😘🎵.

Song mentioned: Perdono, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

PUSH TO THE LIMITS

He remains motionless staring at her as she screams at him, before leaving the room, not without having thrown him one last sharp look. The others giggle, arguing over who won the bet, but he just can't concentrate and, with a certain (fatal) delay, comes out in turn, trying to figure out where she may have gone. -Garcia!- he calls her, obviously not getting an answer. -Garcia!- he tries again, not wanting to give up. He straightens his ears, striving to pick up any noise. Nothing. His feet lead him to the IT department. And it is from the corridor that he sees a colored stain running towards the elevators. – Garcia, wait, Garcia!- as soon as the woman hears him, she changes direction, preferring the stairs. Despite her heels she proceeds quickly and safely. He chases her until he reaches the terrace. She is very close to the edge (too much for him), she seems to be looking towards the void. He reaches her walking slowly, step by step, fearing to be able to scare her and cause a far more serious tragedy. -Garcia...- he repeats, when he is a few inches from her. He flanks it and notices tears in the corners of her eyes. It is not really the first time that he sees her in this state; he especially thinks back to the day they discovered that Scratch had threatened Jack, forcing Hotch to resign. This doesn’t make this situation more bearable.

Suddenly, after a good minute of silence, Garcia whirls towards him, with such impetus as to risk unbalancing herself. -What do you want? What else do you want, aren't you satisfied with what you did?- she asks, half screaming and half broken. If at other times she had only pretended to hate him and forced the discomfort she felt when he was around, now she is not simulating at all. -Do you want to make fun of me a little longer?- she slings the last question, naturally rhetorical; then the woman begins to ignore him again, deliberately pretending that he doesn’t exist, that he is not present. But those salty drops are still there, immobile. She has no intention of crying, much less with that infamous being. She will not grant him such honor, to see such an intimate part of her soul.

And the man understands it perfectly. He remains silent, contenting himself with breathing her air, sharing the same space. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye so as not to disturb her too much. He observes all her nuances. The geometries of her dress, for once not particularly low-cut. The fake flower in her hair. Her face red with anger. The slight trembling of the lower lip. After about ten minutes he decides to venture an attempt. -Garcia, I...- he realizes he is babbling, that he looks like a real idiot and doesn’t believe that this can help him win back her graces. He takes a long, deep breath. - I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd take it so badly.- he finally manages to say, not trying at all to disguise his displeasure.

Instead of turning around as suddenly as she did earlier, she prefers to keep looking at the horizon. -And how should I react?- her tone is strangely low, a little lower and he wouldn't be able to hear it. But it is not even a whisper. It doesn't sound like a question and maybe it isn't. -My friends, whom I regard as my family, took advantage of my vulnerability to make fun of me.- if ever there was a way to make him feel even more guilty, even more like shit... she found it. He focuses on every single word, on each of her choices. He has always known that the BAU is different from the other teams, and certainly from his previous one, since Phil is gone, at least. But it is a term above all that hit the mind of the SSA in training. Vulnerability. As if he hadn’t already noticed this characteristic of his! And was it not perhaps an extra element that attracted him towards her, fatally? Wasn't it going to tease his innate sense of protection exactly, his aspiration to play the hero, the knight in shiny armor, with lots of tights?

He realizes that he has been silent for a century, conversing with himself. He is used to doing it, to being his only interlocutor (if he doesn't consider Roxy), but he will have to change his attitude. Now he is part of a team. Of a group. - I don't think...- he says, but Garcia doesn’t even grant him this grace. She turns slowly, raising one of her splendid, very clear hands, with her palm and her fingers extended.

-Shut up.- she says, but her gaze is much sharper than her voice. She is slowly turning off, like a burned-out light bulb. It is an image that Luke doesn’t particularly like, but finds confirmation in her subsequent sentences and in her shaky and deeply desperate tone. -I just want to be able to stay alone for a moment. To reflect.- she voluntarily chooses to seek and find the eyes of the man, before concluding. -Maybe I'm doing something wrong.- she will also be naive, but she is the undisputed genius of her field. How to make the two things fit together? Because she knows, when she wants to, what to say to get a certain effect.

Agent Alvez swallows, failing to try not to be surprised. -You will not want to leave the BAU.- his fear turns into possibility coming out of his mouth. She hadn't really considered it, but she does it now. Luke curses himself for the umpteenth time in less than a quarter of an hour.

Penelope looks away again and shrugs. -I don’t know.- the thing that scares him the most is to understand that she is not lying at all, nor making fun of him. Although he is not that far away, he gets even closer, as far as he can before she rejects him badly. He feels the need to reach out and touch her arm, shoulder, fingers, something. He needs contact with her, not that this is also new. The more she tries to avoid him, the more he is attracted to her. Certainly, it is only one of his self-defeating pastimes, or...

When he is about to reach the goal, i.e. touch her arm (he has decided that it is the least ambiguous part of her body, the friendliest, even if the two of them aren’t friends), the blonde looks at him and he stops. -Hey, no, don't joke about this.- it sounds like a plea, even if it wanted to be a joke, with the aim of getting a smile or at least a pitiful laugh. But she interprets it in a completely different way.

She raises an eyebrow seductively (probably not aiming at this second effect) and scrutinizes him with a stern but also amused air. -Why, are there things you think you shouldn't joke about?- Luke opens his mouth to reply, then realizes that the best choice is to genuflect and beg forgiveness.

He raises both hands like a suspect in arrest. -Touché - she just nods, with a dry gesture of her chin. -I beg your pardon, Garcia, I didn't want to make you feel bad, but...- he uses the puppy look, the big eyes, the tilted head, the tight lips. She couldn’t resist him, the first time he exploited it, to save himself from the accusation of being a liar and that he didn’t like her gifts (this was the real lie! How could he not ever get excited about whatever she had donated to him?).

But today he is decidedly less fortunate. -But you did it anyway, and you ruined everything!- perhaps noticing their closeness, Garcia pushes him away, only to move (with extreme relief from the man, who is trying to recover from that sudden contact) in a safer area of the terrace.

He follows her, of course. -What do you mean?- he asks, while fearing to know the answer.

Penelope pleases him with a smile that has nothing sweet about it. -After discovering that Roxy is a dog and after seeing that you aren’t so bad as a company at O'Keefe, I had decided to treat you better.- she reveals, simply, disregarding the increasingly shocked expression of the colleague. -I thought we were becoming friends, but you stabbed me in the back!- another accusation and another push. Only for a hair he can't hold her hand on his chest.

Luke shakes his head, trying to catch her eye again. -I, no, I...- but her face leaves no room for doubt.

-I'm not interested in your apologies.- she says and he catches both senses of that sentence. -You sided with the others!- he doesn’t reply anything, because he knows she is right. -You chose them instead of me. You don't deserve my friendship.- she deduces, widening her arms, like a judge who issues a sentence of death, implacable. And that's when Agent Alvez realizes he has no choice but to make a move, the one he never would have considered, probably not even in a thousand years, if things had gone differently. But he cannot afford to lose the little he has laboriously earned.

He looks at her in a strange, different, new way. Original. -And if that's not enough, for me?- he asks her, gradually reducing the inches of air that separate him from her. Penelope opens her eyes for a moment, forgetting the subject of their conversation. He always liked to put her in trouble, but this time his intentions are very different.

-What are you talking about?- he watches her pupils dilate while he makes another step. -Stop there where you are.- she intimates him, but fails to sound very authoritarian, so he doesn’t listen to her. -You're too close.- she says the last sentence in a lower voice, because the man is almost completely bent over her.

He turns a few degrees so he can whisper in her ear. -I mean if it's not enough to be your friend.- ok, this time he really said it. Now he can't go back and doesn't intend to do it. He doesn't want to believe that Garcia's attitude towards him is only due to the fact that he took the place of her best friend. Or maybe he needs to think that behind there is more to find enough courage.

However, she chooses to suddenly return naive. -And what the hell would you like to be?- she stutters, overlapping words, but unable to break eye contact and hating herself deeply for this. If he had been less attractive, would it have been so difficult anyway? She doubts it. -Why the hell do you care so much about what I think of you?- she bursts out and finally she has made the right question.

Luke chuckles, impressed by her innocence as much as by her job skills. -Don't you really get it, Garcia?- her big eyes are enough for an answer. -I like you, I have a crush on you, that's why I 'sided' with the rest of the team, as you say.- he feels his heart beating like the one of a teenager in a movie. He almost certainly also has sweaty hands. The blonde remains silent, so he adds some more details. -To provoke you, as you do with me.- even if, thinking back, he understood that he had started this, not she. -I thought it was just an innocent game...- Penelope seems to believe him for about two seconds, then bursts into a resounding laughter, which however doesn't seem at all joyful, but bears traces of bitterness and sadness.

She claps her hands in a theatrical way, even managing to take a few steps away from him. -Congratulations, really credible! You're getting better at telling lies, but if you think I'm stupid enough to fall into the same trap twice...- she shakes her head. Those tears at the corners of her eyes finally hover in the air. -You have a worse opinion of me than I thought.- she concludes, revealing herself once again able to identify precisely the thing that will hurt him most.

Now that he has freed himself of this enormous weight (to think that it is only a few months, but it seems to him much longer, like his whole life), he cannot conceive the idea that she can think that he is a liar, that he could joke about a similar topic, which can be so petty. -I'm not lying, it's the truth!- he almost shouts, grabbing his own head to avoid doing something more reckless. -I like you a lot, I don't see what I could earn to make you believe it.- after this last sentence, however, he looks directly into her eyes. Anyone knows that it is very difficult to simulate a feeling while maintaining eye contact. Penelope seems to think of that, she seems uncertain, she approaches him, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

And in front of the man's shocked look, she begins to search him. -You certainly have something on you, maybe not a bug wire, at least a tape recorder...- her hands run down his chest, covered only by a light gray shirt, and stopping just before the belt. Then she comes to her senses and understands what she risked doing. But now it's late. Taking advantage of her sudden loss, Luke has brought her closer to him and now holds her firmly by the shoulders.

-Garcia, look into my eyes, and you will understand that I am sincere.- the man's hands rise up to her neck, causing her to shiver (not only because of their glacial temperature), finally lingering on her face, barely caressing her cheeks. She obeys him for a few seconds, so she manages to look away with difficulty.

-No, I can’t.- she detaches herself from him, violently. Unable to conceive how she could allow him to touch her in such an intimate way. -You could have thought of a more credible one excuse and I didn't think you would be able to go that far.- she comments, finding her own safety or at least a semblance of it, as soon as she is distant from him. -Even playing with feelings... Maybe I should really ponder a transfer.- Luke is not considered the best hunter of men of the FBI undeservedly. He takes very little to capture her.

-NO!- this time he's really screaming. He tries to calm himself, to think lucidly. -No, not for my fault.- he really is a good actor, no doubt. It would be really too easy to fall into those brown eyes, to get carried away by the current down and down... -Let me prove that it's all true.- he pleads her. His hands are on her again, with his thumb he touches her neck, while with his other fingers her face.

She tries to ignore the feelings that this contact causes. -And how are you going to do?- her eyes are wide open as she watches him bend over her and trying to bring her face closer to his, as if he wanted (and it seems so) to kiss her. She waits that Luke is a few millimeters before stopping him, with some satisfaction. Or maybe, most likely, she had to struggle hard to do it. -Huh, no, even if you weren't a liar, I wouldn't make things so easy for you.- she tells him, but in her tone there is new malice and this is enough to reassure him. -If you really like me, you'll have to work a lot.- not bad, since he had already taken it into account. He is annoyed enough to have been interrupted so close to the goal, but... if she is giving him a chance, this is what matters. -Do you think it's worth it?- she asks, crossing her arms, almost certainly expecting a no.

Luke, however, disappoints or surprises her, depending on your point of view. -Yup.- he answers, decided as he has rarely been in his life, above all about personal relationships. -Absolutely.- he adds, to make matters worse.

She shrugs. -Happy for you. If the road was uphill before, now you can consider it directly a wall.- she makes it clear however. That grimace on her red mouth. He will be able to taste it, to discover what it tastes like. If it was the last thing he will do. -A very slippery wall.- she adds, with a wink. -It's easy to fall and get hurt...- now she seems serious, she seems to want to suggest something to him, but he doesn't know her long-term relationship history: he can't know that she refused two marriage proposals, that she has problems too only to think of living with a man who is also convinced she loves. That from that point of view she is no less solitary than he. Sergio is enough.

Of course, he can't know (JJ wouldn't have talked to him about it), but he seems to sense it, getting closer to the solution. -I'll be careful.- he proclaims, as if he were about to leave on a mission, get on the jet. -I’ll conquer the lost land.- he says, resolutely, trying to convince at least her, if not himself.

He gets a hearty laugh in return. -Well, they say that self-confidence is everything to achieve a goal.- he nods. -But to regain mine, it would take a miracle.- Luke is not discouraged.

-I believe in miracles.- he promptly replies. And it's not a lie. There are many things of his faith that he doesn’t fully share, which cause him internal conflicts. But not this one.

-Good for you.- she says. -Now, go away. And, Newbie, tell the others that I am very disappointed by everyone.- it's so nice to hear that nickname again without nuances of real disappointment.

He nods before leaving. -I will do it. –

And Luke keeps his implicit promise. During the next two weeks both the office and the home of the computer technician Garcia become places frequented by express couriers of all types, florists and pastry shop clerks. The man slightly distorts the classics, the romantic clichés, preferring live plants of the most disparate species to the bouquets of real flowers, desserts from all over the world to the chocolates in a heart-shaped box, puppets with recording personalized messages instead of cinematographic declarations; and hearing his unique voice, deep and fret, making certain statements… it’s different anyway. But it's not enough.

Penelope doesn’t reply to any of the gifts and only when one evening, returning from a case, he stops her to get a response, she deigns to consider him. -It’s all you can do?- she replies with a question, dismissing all his efforts and leaving him partially sad, but also too stubborn to give up on the first attempt.

She doesn't expect that he can do anything right that evening. Nor that he can go that far. When the first notes of classical guitar begin to spread in the air, she doesn’t suspect that this may have anything to do with her. But then he starts singing. Forgive me... if what is done is done, but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact I ask... your forgiveness... what is done is done but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact... I ask your forgiveness... At first, she is so shocked that she doesn't even have the strength to look out of the window is to verify if it is not by chance, that her brain shows signs of imbalance. Luke cannot be in the courtyard where her apartment is located, to serenade her, like a medieval minstrel. Even if it's a pretty retro thing, something that suits him. With this joy that hugs my heart, four days from Christmas... a mixture of enchantment and pain, I think back to when I hurt someone, and there are so many people, good pretexts, always too few. Between desires, labyrinths and fires, I begin a new year by asking... She should have imagined, however, that he would sing so good. She doesn’t know where this kind of thought comes from, why she is so convinced of it, since she has never thought about it before. She sighs, resigning herself to the need to control. She spies from behind the curtain, but he notices however that he has managed to capture her attention and continues much more determined and with a smile on his lips. Forgive me... if what is done is done, but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact I ask... your forgiveness... what is done is done but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact... I ask your forgiveness... It is undoubtedly thanks to his vocal talents if none of the Garcia's neighbors throws a bucket of water at him (or worse), drops a vase on his head or simply shouts at him to dislodge. And maybe even the fact that it's not yet eleven o'clock and her neighborhood is a fairly populated until late. To say that I feel good with you is little, to say that I feel bad with you is a game, a mixture of truce and revolution, I think it's a good opportunity, with this magic... of Christmas, to remember... how special you are, amid the contradictions and your faults, I still try to want you… She shakes her head, thinking that there are still months left to think about pulling the tree out of the box in which she put it. She laughs, but her is a sweet laugh and no one misses those nuances. She feels she has become the center of general interest; the way in which Luke is looking at her as he sings and plays has left no room for any doubt about the addressee of his stornello. Forgive me... if what is done is done, but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact I ask... your forgiveness... what is done is done but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact... I ask your forgiveness... But he himself claimed not to just want her friendship, but something more. And this is also clear to all those present, who wonder who that young man is and where dear Penelope may have known him. A good part recalls another kind of evening and another kind of companion; the sirens and the lights of the ambulance, the cries of the paramedics. But this one seems a good guy and certainly cannot have bad intentions. Besides the fact that his gesture would have a lot of witnesses. Here winter is not afraid, I got some without you... here anger is without measure, but without you... I don’t know and the night dances alone, but without you I will not dance... captain, knock down the walls with me, that by myself I won't make it... That reference in particular hits her straight to the heart and his wink gives her the suspicion that it was precisely for that sentence if he decided to dedicate this song to her, instead of another, and not for the refrain, which also repeats endlessly what he had already said and pleaded in a completely different way. I ask your forgiveness, if what is done is done, but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know I’m like, in fact... I ask your forgiveness... Penelope wonders if this song will ever end, not that she minds, far from it, if she really has to be sincere... but to the pleasure and that boost to her self-esteem, embarrassment and blush on her cheeks should be added. Didn't she always want a man to make such a crazy gesture just for her? Didn't she always say that she wasn't the kind of woman that men write songs for? It seems like a century has passed since that time. If what is done is done, but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact I ask... your forgiveness... what is done is done but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact... I… She is concentrated now on his hands, on the way he uses the pick, how he caresses the ropes, and finds herself wondering what else he would be able to do with those fingers. And if maybe they can play something together, one day, she with the clarinet and him with... She shakes her head to get out of her own fantasy. I ask your forgiveness… if what is done is done, but I ask your forgiveness, give me a smile, I offer you a rose, on this friendship new peace comes, because I know what I’m like, in fact I ask... forgiveness... sorry… rose… comes… When the last notes echo in the evening, everyone understands that the performance has ended. Spontaneous applauses start from all the windows except from the only one that really interests him. Luke bows, thanking the improvised audience. When he raises his head, those windows have closed completely. Behind the curtains, the blonde begins to convince herself that he is really interested for her. Better late than never. But it's still not enough.

A few days go by without any new surprise and the woman seriously begins to fear that he's get tired of her, of her coldness and her too high claims. She doesn't suspect in the slightest that in reality Luke is using his knowledge in quality of ex-fugitives team Agent. For now, he has limited himself to doing what all women are supposed to want. But Garcia is not all women. He deduces that this was his mistake and remedies it.

With her mind half occupied by the current case and the other part by mulling over her own stupidity (she could at least find out what kind of kisser the Newbie was, if she had been just a smarter pinch), Penelope crosses the threshold of her office and finds a note in front of the main screen. Her heart recognizes his calligraphy well before her eyes. Look in the refrigerator, second shelf on the right. Although she might well wait, since it's too early to eat, she almost runs to find out what's in store for her this time. And in an instant, she forgot all the fears of having pushed her luck. The dining area is deserted. She opens the door and sees what looks like a pan covered with silver paper. And another piece of paper. I made Lasagna. All vegetarian. And a little face that winks, hand-drawn. Without realizing it, she caresses it with her thumb. At the same time, she chuckles, definitely impressed. Then she realizes, she feels that someone is watching her. She turns and Alvez is there. How did he get so close to her without she can hear the steps? Damn profilers and hunters of men!

For a moment they simply remain stare at each other, saying nothing. It is clear that he is challenging her to find a way to ruine his gesture. And she accepts. -Nice, but still a little bit.- she comments, crossing her arms. Luke can't hide a grimace of frustration. -I told you it would be tough.- she continues, in a much more serious tone, trying perhaps to justify herself, when instead she would simply like to invite him to share those Lasagna (which she hasn't even seen or tasted yet, it could be very disgusting, but sometimes the thought is really enough, isn't it?). -Do you want to give up?- and that's when the man does something really completely unexpected and out of every script. He comes so close to her that he almost touches her breast with his forearm.

And the way he looks at her. It should be judged illegal, at least in some countries, at least in Virginia. He shakes his head, in an authoritarian way, only letting her see what the unsubs and the fugitives feel during an interrogation or a capture. -Never.- but he doesn’t do just that. He caresses her cheek with a decidedly determined act that she, puzzled, finds herself closing her eyes to better enjoy that gesture. But she opens them up to his next statement. -You'll be mine, Penelope, and when that happens, you won't be able to stand on your legs, how much they'll shaking.- she opens her mouth, understanding that any reply would be useless. And indeed, he is right, because her knees are already starting to have problems (and not just her knees). However, she hides her excitement behind a mischievous and at the same time strange smile. Placing a hand on his sculptural chest she pushes him away just enough to get back to the office. With the note tight in the left hand.

By now she has lost control, the situation, with a man so courtly in such a shameless way, is too stimulating for him to be able to put a stop to it. If it had been Kevin or Sam, in his place, surely, she would have already given up. But every time she ends up looking at Luke in the eye, she wonders how far they can go, she denies him the satisfaction and he has understood it. The fact that he is not ashamed at all to show his interest in front of the whole world and above all in front of their colleagues... it's just one more reason to let the game continue for a while longer. From O'Keefe, for example, there is not a single evening that he doesn’t offer to pay her cocktails (only to her) and also covers her with another kind of attention, so as to push more than a guy to give up in order to flirt with that shapely blonde at the right point (she naturally doesn't even realize it, too busy to restrain herself, but nothing escapes him). Above all it is again the way in which he looks at her, exaggeratedly shameless, that exasperate and amuse their friends.

-If you keep act in this way, we'll have to censor you, Luke.- Rossi complains on one of these occasions. But Penelope doesn't just enjoy free cocktails and looks back at him. She plays her part in this kind of performance. She makes him go crazy with every known or not known method. She flirts with strangers, albeit in a decidedly innocent way, compared to when she plays with him, even before all this started. This is why some people got a fantasy, but then they notice how he shakes her hand on her hips and give up, believing that they have dreamed everything. Many times, after having returned to her place, the blonde is in fact instantly captured by her colleague, always sitting next to her, who whispers threats that seem anything but frightening, such as: -You will pay for each of these actions.- but she, lingering in the same way and making him believe every time that she was about to bite his lobe or grab his lips, merely laughs, filling his ear canals with the sound of her giggling.

And moving away, at all intimidate, at the same time removing his hand from her, she replies always the same in a low voice, but not too much. -First you have to catch me.- that answer which, despite so many repetitions by now would have become banal, silences him all the time.

She couldn’t say that it was her friend who wanted to bring up the topic, because she was the first to let it out. Just a hint, the only evening he hasn't arrived yet and the rest of the table is occupied in an animated discussion of the criteria for awarding the Oscars. -Then... you have nothing to say to me?- well before she mentions it explicitly, she has already got the point. -You and Luke...- in another era she would probably deny, she would reject, she would say to her friend she is a visionary. Not in this one.

Watching the chair next to her (empty), she leaves the river of her emotions flow out. - Do you remember when you all sucked, and he too? He followed me to the terrace and at one point... he said he had a crush on me.- a smile of pure affection, satisfaction (I knew it!) and joy paints the lips of the other blonde. -I didn't believe him, but... now...- they nod simultaneously. -I'm afraid that I’m exaggerating. He will soon tire of trying to conquer me.- the fact she said even this last part is what makes her proud of herself.

It's up to JJ to express her thought. -Do you want my opinion?- she doesn’t wait for an answer. -This can’t happen. I did the same with Will, at the beginning... I was a little cold.- she chuckles, thinking back to those moments with nostalgia, but at the same time happy about the here and now. -You know, In love’s war, he who flieth is conqueror.- she winks at her. Then, she suddenly turns serious. -That's not what you should worry about, in my opinion.- she adds, looking over her shoulder.

Penelope knows that Luke has arrived and probably he is standing at the counter to make the first orders. -What, then?- she asks. There is no room for shyness and pride.

-You have to think about all the time you will waste, just to act like teenagers.- she replies promptly, sensing the course of her friend's thoughts. -When, in short...- she shrugs and almost seems to blush. But she wouldn’t be able to swear it -...you could live and find out how it is.- she understood what JJ meant, but she has no way to reply, because he is there, the chair is no longer empty, his hand brushes by chance (yeah, right for this) her knee while he is settling.

And despite all those fine words, spending so many nights repeating that JJ was right, another month passes, during which he alternates the actual courtship with explicit and clear requests for a full-fledged appointment, which she declines every time, cursing herself like the crocodile after eating too much. Her only excuse is that he hasn't done enough yet, but she knows that it ceased to make sense long ago.

Garcia then reaches another, different conclusion: what she really expects is, masochistically, to see him finally losing interest in her, so she can consider herself a fool and be able to do it, later thanks to the passing of time that erases and obscures everything, convincing herself that in reality he never felt anything for her.

A sea of shit that fortunately crashes against the rocks of Luke's stubbornness, which fails to consider sporadic touches at the bar as real progress. But he still has an ace up his sleeve. The winning card. He wonders why he waited so long to do it.

He is forced to talk to Emily. Leaving everything to chance would mean risking compromising the plan. He waits patiently (patience has always been one of his main qualities) that there are no cases. And finally, that day comes. He waits for her to go to the bathroom, for take his gift to the bat-cave. He stays hidden at the end of the corridor, watching her returning to the office. He hears her scream and realizes that maybe this time the job is really done.

Inside, Penelope tries to censure her joy by pressing her hands over her mouth. Roxy, beautiful as always, is covering her with kisses. But it doesn't take long to notice that there is ticket rolled up and stuck in her collar. The more she reads it, the stronger her heart beats. Forgive the fool of my master. He didn't want to hurt you, but you know, human beings (especially males) are so foolish! He always liked to hunt, but without weapons. Because of this pursuit he no longer has a crush on you. Now he is sure he is in love. Please give him a chance so we can see each other more often. I miss you! Rox. And it is not the third-party declaration that causes her to collapse definitively. No, it's that paw print as a signature. She fears to burst into tears. She takes long breaths to calm herself.

Now she has discovered her breaking point and doesn’t care a damn she will never know which of Luke would have been. Hearing only silence, the man dares to enter. -Then?- he asks, even though he knows how to read her expression perfectly.

She wants to show herself a little distant. -All right, Alvez, I'll go out with you. But, mind, this means nothing.- she likes to play as precious thing, and he will let her do it, because she is. She is the most precious jewel that he never would have aspired even to contemplate.

He takes her hand, helping her to get up. -It may turn into one later.- he declares, bending down to kiss her cheek. He would never have wasted their first kiss at such a time, however important it's for him.

The evening of the date comes. Penelope keeps to repeat in front of the mirror that it is nothing; Luke tries to explain to Roxy why all depends from this, but she already knows it. The message arrives on time; she can't make her heart beat regularly. She goes down, risking killing herself, on the stairs, unable to wait for the elevator. When she sees him, so beautiful and knowing that it is her merit, because it is for her if he has dressed like this, that he has chosen every single damn detail, she can no longer play the part of the detached and disinterested.

Penelope expects him to take her to dinner somewhere. Even the time is quite compatible with this hypothesis. But she is wrong. When she sees the silhouette of the building and recognizes its profile, when he parks right there, she is incredulous. He will also be a profiler, a hunter, but how the hell did he find that this was her favorite theater and that she dreamed of going there all her life?

He opens the door for her; he touches her hand every so often, caressing her fingers in a sweet and sensual, delicate and possessive way; he looks at her in that way but also in a new one. If they had just played until recently, he is now doing damn seriously. How can he be single for years (did this information been picked up long before all this started)? Then the concert begins, where the clarinet is the absolute protagonist, needless to say.

He speaks only once, whispering something that completely contrasts with the serious and prim atmosphere. -I can't wait to show you my fingering techniques, chica.- she swallows, not answering. Fearing her own reply.

Towards the end her stomach starts gurgling in protest. With red hands for long applause he leads her to the exit, opens the door again, does the same when they arrive at the next stop, helps her to sit at the table. He wants to make her feel the most desired and important woman on the planet with a thousand small attentions and almost never taking his eyes off her. Penelope stops noticing her own red cheeks. It has now become her dominant color. She is still along the way to convince herself that this is really happening. At the time of ordering, she lets him speak only, not feeling at all overwhelmed, but rather enjoying seeing how well he knows her.

All exclusively vegetarian. And, after paying the bill, he opens his mouth again to say something that gives her the final thrust. -I could easily get used to this diet.- she is still thinking about it, wondering if it could be serious or if it was a simple provocation that she had misunderstood, while they are walking with Roxy, in the calm of the evening. He stops, breaking the silence at the same time. -If you just give me the chance, this would be our typical evening even in ten years. I don't want a conquest of a night and I know that passion would never fade, don't ask why I know, it's just like that.- he speaks freely, even if she would never have stopped him because... she wants to see how far he gets. -I would never take you for granted, nor stop courting you, I would conquer you every day.- perhaps he would have added more, but she bursts.

She throws her arms around his neck. -Fuck, Luke.- game over. He won the match.

But he lingers a moment longer. -Penelope, can I kiss you?- it's not a provocation, he's fucking sincere.

She tilts her head. -Yes, you can, Newbie.- but he hesitates too much, just a second too long. Penelope, who certainly doesn’t count the calmness between her main qualities, drags him against her, kissing him as if there were no tomorrow. Surely her patience threshold is less than Luke's, but... now they both care very little about it.

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#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #BAU team #jennifer jareau #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #roxy #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #tiziano ferro #perdono #xdono #post 12x7 #12x7 #12x7 mirror image #mirror image

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okimargarvez · 5 years

Text

THE LAST PIECE

Original title: The last piece.

Prompt: Penelope and Luke doing a puzzle.

Warning: none.

Genre: comedy, romantic, funny.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: part 45 in Garvez canon Life.

Legend: 💑😘😈.

Song mentioned: none.

Puzzle is one of the things I have in common with my boyfriend. I had to write this. I don’t agree with Penelope: L'Année dernière à Marienbad it’s not the recognized masterpiece of Alain Resnais. I studied it, for History and Criticism of Cinema, I chosen it, because I was able to watch it in streaming. Maybe Resnais masterpiece it’s Hiroshima mon amour. But his cinema it’s very harder to watch and study (as the whole nouvelle vague).

GARVEZ STORIES

THE LAST PIECE

Luke bends down to try to reach the opposite side of the table; Penelope does exactly the same thing and their arms intertwine. Soon thereafter the same happens to their eyes. They smile sweetly, even if they would been together for just few weeks. -We're almost done. Let's see who has the honor to take the last piece.- the man says, managing to set what he has in his hands and noting that now the holes to be filled are very few. She sets two of her own at the first try; at the same time he inserts the last among those he had set aside.

Only one remains, the last notorious piece of the puzzle. It rests quietly in the middle of the table, halfway. Again, their looks meet, but this time they are much tenser. This is not their first puzzle. They soon discovered that it was perhaps one of the few passions they shared before being romantically linked. Their conjunction of the stars.

Almost complete silence reigns if it were not for Roxy who snores on the couch, a few inches from them. They keep staring each other, as they were in a western movie. Neither one dares to lower his eyes towards the last piece.

In the end, Penelope is the first to speak. -Come on, take it.- she touches it, pushing it in his direction. The man watches her frowning, obviously suspicious. He tries to bring to mind the advice he has read in that book that Phil gave him last Christmas "How to keep a girl. Survival manual about female psychology”. As always very nice, his friend.

He doesn’t move a millimeter. -Are you sure?- he asks her, being careful to scrutinize every single detail of her (poor man) splendid face. -Is it not that you will be angry or is it a trap?- She holds his look and shakes her head only once. Her hair is gathered in a braid. In fact, it was for that reason that he bought this 3,000-piece puzzle, representing the Grand Canal of Venice, a city she always dreamed of visiting. She also told him that she should go with Kevin, it was planned on their trip to Italy, but in the end, that wasn’t what happened. Having to make up for the shortcomings of his predecessors doesn’t weigh at all for Luke.

After a pause that seems endless, she insists. -No, come on, take it.- she looks slightly to the left, a sign that a profiler should be able to recognize, and her look is of direct challenge, but the problem is that when it comes to Penelope his brain goes almost completely to the hell and everything he knows how to apply in the remaining cases, is absolutely useless with her.

And in fact, he falls for it, totally. -Ok.- he shrugs and stretches his arm to take it. But she prevents him by giving him a slight but still significant slap on the hand.

-What are you doing!- she also asks, in a shocked tone, disappointed. Luke gives himself the idiot. Why does it have to end this way every time? Will he ever be immune from her malia? He sighs, caressing the hurt one with the other hand.

-I'm putting the piece.- he simply explains. -You told me.- he accuses her more with the eyes than with the rest of the body. -I also asked you if you were sure and you said yes.- he adds. She nods, then shakes her head, then nods again, bursts into a short giggle that has the power to awaken the dog, but only for a few seconds.

-You know that I said it only to look polite.- she provides him with the solution of the arcane. -You still must answer "No, love, it’s your time”.- she instructs him for the following times, while aware that the situation will probably be repeated. -As when we eat pizza and there is only one slice in the carton.- she finally concludes her lesson.

-Women, damn it.- Luke exclaims. -You can drive even a Zen Buddhist monk with a passion for mime crazy.- her eyes are wide open.

-This was good, but not enough to win the last piece of the puzzle.- damn it. He snorts, his back is not well in this position. Stay sitting on the ground, at their age, is not really the best.

-Ok, so how do we solve it?- he asks without too many words.

-We can play it.- she proposes, with that mischievous tone that he adores, because she knows what scenarios it opens to him. -Tell me why I should give you this honor.- she crosses her arms, aware, but not as much as he does, of the fact that her breasts rise and seem even bigger.

-Oh, I like this breakthrough.- he rubs his hands, trying to stay focused. -So, this week I mowed the lawn, even if I didn’t feel like it, I took Roxy and Sergio to the vet and I gave up the baseball game to let you watch that absurd and incomprehensible movie.- the first three things that came to his mind.

She opens her splendid little mouth. -What!- for a moment she seems unable to articulate a complete sentence. -How dare you, it's a nouvelle vague movie, ignorant!- she is so sexy when she uses the French accent. It is really absurd that the only language that she doesn’t want to come in her head is Spanish. -L'Année dernière à Marienbad it is absolutely the recognized masterpiece of Alain Resnais!- even the title is ridiculous.

He shows himself more disinterested than it is. -Whatever you want.

It has neither head nor tail.- he rolls his eyes theatrically. -Now it's your turn.- he smiles mischievously.

-Good.- she seems confident. -First of all I tried to cook that goop that your mother told me, following the recipe step by step.- but at that game they are both champions, on equal merit.

-But if the oven hasn’t exploded for a miracle and we had almost to call the firemen.- in fact he is not good at cooking, not even her. Yet, for now, they haven’t yet starved to death.

-It’s the gesture, the gesture, the effort, all that matters, Alvez!- how he can love her even when she calls him by last name? Is there a version of Penelope that doesn’t drive him crazy? -Learn it.- she says with an authoritative tone. -And then I washed your underwear with my poor hands. Only for this should they give me a medal of value and a certificate of extreme courage.- he decides not to answer. -We're even.- she decrees.

-As always, love.- he strokes her cheek. -I would suggest to do it together.- she nods and leans towards him, to kiss him. Soon the hands start to wander, but when he opens an eye, he realizes that...-Penelope! You, liar!- she has took advantage of his distraction to grab the last piece. They start to struggle, in no uncertain terms, until he gest the best, blocking both her arms and tickling her. When she gives up, he starts kissing her again and takes a moment to go to the last base. -Wow. Why when it starts like this is always so great?- after, he is the most exhausted between them.

Penelope, on the other hand, has a strange smile on her face. -You ask too many questions, beauty. And anyway, while you were taking a breath, I finished the puzzle.- he notices that she is right.

He raises his shoulders. -You know what? I don’t care.- he is ready for a second round. -I have already found my missing piece and have you seen? It fits me perfectly.-

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#garvez #criminal minds #penelope garcia #luke alvez #cm #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia

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