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#he’s not stuck he just likes it there apparently


#my dad wanting to move in with his new girlfriend just makes me mad, #it’s not because he has a new girlfriend, #it’s just because of how she is like and how all of this happened, #like, #he left my mum all of sudden because he said she was too intrusive and oppressive and he never had time for himself, #yet this woman won’t let him go anywhere if he doesn’t tell her first, #sometimes when he’s with me (his daughter like HIS DAUGHTER), #he has to take pictures of me and send them to her so that she’s sure he’s with me and not with someone else, #or like when we’re in the car together he has to stop by her place to show her he’s with me, #and if we change plans like instead of going to the cinema we go to the restaurant next to the cinema he has to tell her immediately, #but apparently he doesn’t consider this toxic or oppressive as long as he can get drunk in the evening, #sometimes I don’t get to see my dad for a whole month and when we’re together we don’t even talk because he’s staying on the phone, #talking to her for the whole ride and he sees her everyday like every fucking day, #and then gets mad at me if I’m pissed and says I should talk about it if I’m not okay with something so I told him that if he stayed less, #on his phone we could actually find a way to talk but guess what nothing changed, #and somehow I always get stuck in the middle because my mum wants to know everything about my dad and I just don’t want to tell her because, #I feel like it’s not up to me and if she wants to know something about him she should ask him, #because she constantly talks shit about him and I know he’s a dickhead but if you hate him then just forget him jeez, #but still he’s my dad and I love him and we had such a nice bond before all of this happened, #the moment he left us I just realized I misunderstood him for a better person while he was not, #marriage ain’t supposed to last forever and I knew that was going to happen but he should have done that differently, #because he’s a fucking grown man and should act as one, #and all of this is stressful and I just wish I could be somewhere else and not give a shit about this, #I’m not trying to make you feel pity about me I just need to write things down to calm down I’m not looking for attention, #I just have this lump in my throat whenever I talk to my dad and I can’t get used to it I just wish I could start my whole life, #and not depend on my parents anymore, #I don’t want anything to go back to how it was because I know I’d be living in a lie, #I just want to move on and start a life on my own and feel relaxed for once, #the only way out is through I know but this through never ends.
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