Listen I like Tim and Steph but I don't go there, however.
Sometimes I remember that one monologue from the Diane of Bojack Horseman when her ex-husband got another girlfriend and think about Steph wondering how did she not have a mental breakdown regarding her and Tim breakup until today.
Because if Red Robin is still cannon and I was her I would have very much a mental breakdown eventually.
Monologue under the cut
"You accidentally see your soon-to-be-ex-husband kiss someone else. At first you think, oh, it's a fing. Whatever. They're drunk. It's a party. But then he puts his hand on the small of her back exactly the way he used to do to you. It means, "I got you." And when he did it to you, it made you feel safe. And you realize he will never do that to you again. And it breaks your heart again. After you thought your heart was so broken that it could never get any more broken. You thought it was safe. But it somehow finds a new way to break. Because even though you're the one who asked for this, now that you've got it you are completely adrift. With no compass, or map"
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Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!
There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!
I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)
And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.
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they just didn't have to write him as "a great philanthropist"; "a generous benefactor of the empire bay planetarium"; "frequent officer of the empire bay press guild";
"a frequent target of political slander and false arrest because of generosity towards the press"
and at the same time write him as the first of the others to organize drug trafficking; a man who tried to kill all his competitors; "a shady bastard, even for guys in this business"; "ruthless modernizer"; a man who secretly views his close friend as a liability; "the man who killed his own boss" to take his place
"few will moan moretti's passing" from the lost heaven's newspapers and there's nothing like that in the cut-out news reports about carlo's death
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You know. Sorry for another sporadic unprompted post about that friend who has caused me so much trauma in the past year. But I remember this one time his old high school friend I met once, he's really nice I liked him a lot. Cool guy. But he lives far away so they don't meet up a lot but they text. One time he sent this friend some pictures of us that were taken at a cooking class that he'd been bothering me into going to despite that it was all the way in Boston, there was a lot of walking to get to it, etc. And I was like constantly feeling sick and run down and exhausted from having Covid recently. He texted his friends those pictures of the two of us and his friend asked "Are you and Diana dating lol" like pretty innocently but honestly curious.
And he just replied "Are you fucking high" and he showed me and told me about it. Like. Like it was uncomfortable for HIM to be asked that.
Like his response isn't SUPER INSULTING TO ME.
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funniest part of spn fandom is when people go “ugh i can’t STAND sam (or dean) because he’s so self-righteous and annoying and selfish and mean to his brother-” as if these are not traits that apply to them both equally. putting aside that yes, sometimes characters will be characters and have aspects of them that bring them into conflict with other characters, (even characters you might like! scary!) the show’s been off the air for like four years now, can we not all just admit at this point that 99% of brother favoritism isn’t about who they are as characters and is more about which one you find hot or which one’s daddy issues you were able to relate to more.
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