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#he’s such a bitch in this movie i love it
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Gothamites watch a zombie movie and just laugh.
The dead rising to walk the earth? Yeah, that just happens sometimes. Aunt Clara got her head blown up five years ago and a month after crawled out of the grave complaining about not killing the sonnova bitch back.
The zombies are shambling corpses that can't feel pain or be stopped at anything less than a headshot and they want to eat human flesh? Those are in the sewers, it's just that Killer Croc normally keeps their population in check. When he's behaving himself Arkham lets him hunt on Thursdays.
The zombies are shrieking hordes that can run at top speeds for hours and infect with a single bite? Pfft, at least they're not Manbats. Those bastards fly.
Gothamites see Red Hood bringing up his death that one time and just rolling their eyes. You're not special, my guy. Join the club. They have biweekly meetings at the library and gluten-free cookies.
I love the idea of zombies being common in Gotham but it’s pretty much a non-issue compared to everything else that’s going on. Even better if most people outside Gotham don’t know about the zombies and completely freak out when they find out. They’d just get a judgmental side eye from the Gothamites who are wondering what their problem is. Some new villain attempts to start a zombie apocalypse in Gotham and it doesn’t even end up making the evening news because like yeah, it’s Thursday. Shit happens.
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scoonsalicious · 2 days
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Unwanted: Chapter 10, Uneasy - Pt. 3
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, Jade Carthage (sorry), petty behavior.
Word Count: 368
Previously On...: The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of this Bitch... Bucky had the balls to answers a call from Jade, abruptly ending sex with you to do so. You contemplated getting back into your old self-harm habits, but decided against it. You and Bucky argued, and it seemed like you really got through to him when you asked him to think of how he'd want you and Steve to interact every time he found himself in a situation with Jade. I'd say it seemed to work, but this is only Chapter 10 out of 28 :(
A/N: As promised, due to my lack of any updates yesterday, here's your second update for today! It's short, I know, but at least you didn't have to wait an entire day to just get < 370 words! :D
I love you! (no question mark) Also, when reviewing it to post, I noticed there was no swearing, and I thought 'can't have that! gotta reputation to maintain!' So I added a 'fucking' at the end, just to keep things on brand.
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @crist1216 @vicmc624 @sashaisready @j23r23
While Bucky took his shower, you threw on one of his Henleys and made your way to the communal kitchen to grab some snacks for your film. To your disdain, Jade was already there, pouring herself a glass of juice.
“Trouble in paradise?” she asked with a smirk as she put the juice back in the fridge. “I didn’t mean to overhear, but you and Jamie were just arguing so loudly.” 
“We’re fine,” you said. You grabbed a couple of bags of chips, some Twizzlers, chocolate, and some drinks. “But thank you so much for your apparent concern.”
“Didn’t sound fine to me,” she beamed. “You forget, I have super soldier hearing. Maybe you should consider getting a new therapist, since the one you’re seeing now clearly isn’t helping. I’m heading back to my room, but don’t feel the need to keep the fighting down on my account, ‘kay? It’s better than Netflix!” With a wink, she turned and walked out the door, juice in hand.
In your anger, you were gripping one of the bags of chips so tightly, it popped open in your hand. Coming to a quick and, probably stupid decision, you grabbed your snacks and raced back to your room.
Bucky was just coming out of the bathroom, with only a towel around his waist, when you burst through the door, tossing the snacks and drinks onto your nightstand.
“Ready for the movie now, doll?” he asked, toweling off his damp hair.
“Changed my mind,” you said as you started taking off your clothes. “Sex is back on the table.”
Bucky grinned at you, but his face quickly fell. “Are you sure, sweets? What changed all of a sudden?”
You pulled the towel from around his waist, licking your lips as his cock sprung free, already growing hard in front of you. “Just something I heard,” you told him before pouncing on him. “I’m gonna need you to make me scream, Barnes.”
“It’ll be my pleasure, doll,” he said before hoisting you up and kissing you.
You knew you were being petty, and it was not a great quality, but you didn’t care: you were going to make sure Jade Carthage heard every. single. filthy. fucking. thing.
<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->
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yuri-is-online · 2 days
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Hi Yuri! Have you ever considered the idea of there being an alternate version of the twst boys in Yuu’s world? Since we have no clue if it’s just another planet or an entirely separate universe, it’s theoretically possible. Poor Yuu would think they are going crazy seeing a familiar face or hearing a familiar voice in another world. Perhaps it is even painful to the point Yuu tries to avoid interacting with the boy in question. - 🦐
(Also, I am well aware of how often I’ve been sharing these thoughts. If they’re annoying you or you don’t feel up to it, I don’t want you to feel pressured to respond or anything. I’m just spitballing and posting before I forget. 👉👈)
OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS!!!!! (first and foremost being that you are very much not annoying <3)
An alt version of a twst boy in Yuu's world is just so yummy. There's so much angst potential depending on what the relationship is/was. Did their boy die in some horrible accident? Is he waiting for them, anxious and terrified about where Yuu went? Does this imply that twst also has a version of Yuu somewhere out there in the world? Questions questions. I did sort of write about this idea in the tags of this yan version of the soulbound au, wherein a cursed Yuu driven insane by their curse kills their soulmate before being isekaid to Twisted Wonderland and finding a different version of him, horrified with the realization that they could kill him again... but I want to cook up some dynamics for what the dorm leaders/overblot boys could be up to in Yuu's world first sooo...
I had a hard time thinking about Riddle until I remembered he's a horse girl and cast Yuu in the role of bad boy ranch hand whose dad's got a job at the barn so they're forced to help take care of the horses and warn all the would be YA protags about the "special horse" who doesn't take orders from just anyone. Not that Riddle is the protagonist... he's more the well established rich petty bitch who looks down on the new girls and especially on you because you're never taking care of his horse in accordance with all his stupid rules. And in stereotypical horse movie fashion Riddle has a massive not so secret crush on bad boy ranch hand Yuu who just doesn't get why he keeps trying to talk to them.
There isn't much royalty left in the world, but imagine Leona as the son of some rich business magnate whose older brother got the company and left him with "nothing." Maybe Yuu works at a liquor store part time and Leona comes in to pick stuff up every once in a while. You wouldn't call him a friend, but you guys shoot the shit enough that you have a general feel for each other to the point he joins you on your breaks to keep up the talk and play chess.
I love the idea of student president council Azul. He's made for that trope. Born for it, he'd be such a terror with Jade as his VP and Floyd as well. Floyd. I can't see him really being a part of the student council but I had this idea the other day based off this instagram post I saw about this mom who sews right? Her daughter was running for class president and she made these bracelets with little shrimp on them and attached them to cards that said "Keep it shrimple! Vote for (kid's name)!" And I was struck with this vision of Yuu doing that so like. Yuu running against Azul with that campaign slogan and he's tearing his hair out over it being so popular because people like memes (the original idea had Floyd running as Yuu's vp but they both dropped out at the last minute because neither him or Yuu wanted to do the actual work lol.) I also like student council president Azul and delinquent Yuu... but that's because of Tsuredure Children ha
Kalim and Jamil are hard... but I think the same set up of rich businessman's kid and his bodyguard in training still fits. How Yuu meets them is beyond me, but if you were friends with either of them could you imagine how painful seeing the same tragedy play out in this new world would be? Jamil doomed to always be a servant and Kalim doomed to be betrayed by his best friend... that would be so painful for someone who cared deeply about either of them I could see it motivating Yuu to try and resolve things for twst Jamil and Kalim that much harder.
Ok so hear me out... Vil still wants to be an actor in your world but he doesn't have the connections to his dad and is working as a pharm tech with Yuu at your local drugstore while going to school and hunting for gigs. He mentions being interested in cosmetics and magical pharmacology in game... and he also mentions knowing nothing about his mom so like. Your world Vil ended up with his mom instead of his dad and you get to see him on the cusp of his big break as one of his number one supporters from the very start, only to get isekaid to a world where you get to see what things could have looked like. It's strange how similar and yet not both versions of Vil are...
Idia is the guy who comes in to buy snacks at your convenience store during the night shift who you start talking to when you notice him buying a game time card for something you also play. You're stupid awkward around each other at first, but it's nice to finally have someone to talk about your niche interest with once you've passed each other's sniff tests. You don't actually know him know him though... so getting sent to another world where there's another version of him makes you worried the more you learn about his backstory that maybe you should have been there for your Idia more. Is he doing ok back home? Did he think of you as a friend? You hope he isn't blaming himself for any of this...
Malleus is an old money trust fund baby whose family was absolutely royalty at some point and is still overly attached to it. He likes old buildings, cemeteries, long walks in the fog, you know all those good goth things. He's tall and socially awkward and so grateful for you, his first and best friend who he met one moonlight night he swore was a dream in his favorite abandoned building who spoke at length with him about all sorts of things he liked. So you know. More or less the same. Just without the world ending powers... I think this is another one that would be quite sad. Which version of Malleus needs Yuu more? Which one is the real one? I'd hate the idea of him being destined to always be lonely and lose the ones he loves.
As for Yuu avoiding them... I could see that. It would feel weird seeing someone you love so much only for it not to be them at all. I know that the Lovebrush Chronicles kiiiiind of deals with this??? I wish I had the patience to play through it has an appealing glasses wearing ro but it's a mobile otome :/ but still. It's a concept I promise I am totally normal about.
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bruciemilf · 10 months
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Peter B admitting to Miles that the non stop tragedies and losses shaping their stories are hard, harsh, and , knowing they can do something about it, cruel even. Then saying the GOOD aspects essentially outshine them. But that's not true. That's a classic toxic positivity line, used to justify shitty, unequal politics. " But at least we have this one good thing" WE CAN HAVE THAT GOOD THING AND NOTHING ELSE. WE AREN'T MADE TO BE IN PAIN, AND PAIN SHOULDN'T MAKE A HERO.
What Miguel doesn't understand is they don't owe the world suffering.
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More headcanons of the Nimona trio being domestic dorks
Whenever the trio gets sick of each other they’ll ask the person in the trio they’re not pissed at to handle them
It always goes something like this “Ambrosius come get your kid they won’t leave me alone-“ “No Nemesis come get your husband he’s being a stick in the mud”
Or “Bal go get your son from prison he got arrested again” “Oh so he’s my son today?” “Yes when he’s stupid enough to get caught he’s your son” 
If you're wondering why Nimona doesn't just escape its cause they find it hilarious when Bal has to come to bail them out at random points in the day
There are also times when they’re proud or happy and they’ll say things like “I’m gonna go get my daughter ice cream” “Since when is she just your daughter?” “Since right now when she helped me fix my prosthetic” 
“Hey boss where’s my Nemesis I heard he got in a fight today” “I thought he was my Nemesis” “Not when he puts three guys in the hospital he’s not” 
Bal is one of those people who sees something and says “Why would I buy that when I can just make it” AND HE DOES
Nimona has a bad habit of fucking up speakers so Bal just set up a sound system throughout the house 
If the trio weren’t such antisocial losers with three friends combined their parties would be amazing
He made Ambrosius a skincare cabinet just so he could put actual medicine in the medicine cabinet 
When Nimona moved in he asked them what their ideal room would look like 
She gave him a rough draft and he did all of it
They spend a week tearing that room apart so they could soundproof it so she could rock out without disturbing the boys
She has sick ass LED lights and she’ll change the colors depending on her mood 
Ambrosius and Bal helped her paint the walls the most obnoxious shade of neon pink And then they didn’t complain when she spray painted over said walls 
It’s worth it to see her visibly relax when she enters her room
This man has gutted and put back together and rearranged their little house so many times it’s unrecognizable 
I also feel like everyone in the trio is a crafty bitch
They all have a million little hobbies that have produced even more trinkets that fill up their whole house 
Their house is this weird combination of comfy yet chaotic and it's a minimalists nightmare 
Cleaning is also a nightmare but they wouldn't change it for anything 
Back when they were in the institute Ambrosius was a terrible cook -♾️/10 his cooking would put people in the hospital 
After the knighting ceremony was the first time he was living by himself and didn’t have access to free food so he taught himself how to cook
Honestly most people would think he would give up
I mean there are only so many times you set water on fire before you throw in the towel
But he's a stubborn brat and cooking took his mind off of everything so he stuck with it
One day Bal came home to the smell of cooking and he assumed it was Nimona 
He swears to this day he had a heart attack when he saw Ambrosius in front of the stove and Nimona comfortably sitting at the dinner table not helping at all
He promptly dragged Nimona out of there like a bomb just went off and warned him not to touch Ambrosius’ food
He told Bal “The more you call it a biohazard the more I want to eat it” 
So Bal used him like a test dummy 
When Nimona finally did try it they turned to Bal and complained that he lied 
Bal thought he was being pranked until he was forced by Nimona to try the food 
And it was good 
More than good I was fucking amazing 
He asked Ambrosius quite frankly “Who are you and what have you done with my husband” 
Ambrosius just rolled his eyes and told him to eat the food
Bal never gave up on finding out how and slowly but surely he started asking like a normal person
And Ambrosius never answered like a normal person
His answers would range from “A chef never reveals his secrets” (“that’s a magician love” “just zip it and eat your food”) to “I’m never telling you so suffer and finish this meal I lovingly cooked” (“is it still considered love if you knew I was gonna suffer?” “Yes” “…. Makes sense”)
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aquickstart · 3 months
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ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.
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another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!
farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.
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but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.
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but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.
but the important thing is this.
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farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.
farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.
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the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.
as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.
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but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.
and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.
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to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).
to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.
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and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?
but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.
the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.
so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.
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soundwavemain · 2 years
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Can't sleep. Finally caved and made a Two Birds edit. Decided to go a different route.
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Vincent Price and Carol Ohmart
The House on Haunted Hill (1959) dir. William Castle
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skunkes · 7 months
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wamo · 9 months
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comic vs movie Ambrosius is the literal definition of twink death
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general-nerdy · 3 months
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Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull NSFW Alphabet
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I had a lot of fun getting these all down, and thank @sinfulwrites for being my editor haha! Go read her Asa NSFW alphabet. It's fantastic!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Jesse couldn't care less about your comfort if you're laying in one of his coffins. He relishes in your discomfort. His camera gets a fantastic view of the tears streaming down your face, and your soiled body is a work of art. He'll go back and watch the footage again to see you squirm.
When you are someone he is closer to, Jesse is more of a gentleman. You are held in his massive tattooed arms, though you will be subjected to waggling eyebrows and suggestive, teasing messages about your time together. When you regain some energy you are free to use his elaborate bathroom, his multifunctional bidet and huge walk-in shower making it more than a pleasure to clean yourself. He will follow you in and watch. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He's not picky. Jesse can admire every part of you, though he has a weakness for thighs. Your face however is something he will watch intently. He loves to watch your expressions change through it all. 
Jesse loves every part of himself. He's great and he knows it. You don't need to tell him. 
After his incident at the market, he's much more sensitive about his face. But he took it like a champ after some therapeutic mental breakdowns and property damage. It's okay, he can pay to replace the mirror. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Jesse has a bad habit of cumming inside. Why should he sacrifice his pleasure, after all? Does he not deserve it? He also loves to have you swallow his load, again watching your face as you do. Though if you're one of his victims he probably wouldn't risk putting his penis in your mouth. He doesn't want anything happening to Lil' Jesse. 
If you are a victim he might force your mouth open and cum inside, or just cum on your face. That makes a great phone background. Yes, he would do that. Your memory would live on in his home screen. At least until he finds another piggy. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Believe it or not, Jesse would love it if you played with his ass. If you topped or pegged him, even better. His late wife never indulged him. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Jesse had quite a few partners, both men and women, before marrying his late wife. Even after the fact he had encounters outside of his marriage. So he's very much experienced. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Overtop of you with your legs in the air. That way he can see everything; his cock disappearing in and out of you, your body moving with him, and your face of course. His camera also captures more from there. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
When Jesse likes you he's quite the funny guy. He teases and plays with you in a humorous way. If you farted or queefed during sex he'd double over in his wheezing laughter. Jesse is here to have a good time. 
When you're a captive, he's brutal. He makes you look into his camera. He makes you look at yourself reflected in his mask, watching yourself be violated. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Jesse is completely bare, save for his eyebrows. After the incident at the market and his surgeries he doesn't even have those. He likes being hairless, and he's spent a lot of money to get laser removal done. Sliding into his satin sheets smooth as the day he was born is one of his great pleasures. 
He doesn't mind at all if you have hair, wherever it may be. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Jesse's ability to take anything seriously is severely inhibited by what I'd call 'affluenza'. He has so much money he can do what he wants, when he wants. Sex is a fun time for him, sure, but most of the time that's just it; a fun thing to do. Unless you're someone he really, really cares about. Then he will make more of an effort to take things seriously and be more romantic. 
When he makes that effort, he goes all out. Expensive dinners. Trips to foreign countries on one of his private jets. Rose petals on the bed. New lingerie for you. He will spare no expense. You will be wined, dined, and dicked. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Jesse loves to watch his tapes and jerk off. He basically has an addiction, but it's limited to his own recordings or live footage of you. Yes, he's always watching. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Filming: He's got a camera on his shoulder for a reason, and he saves every single tape. He makes backups too. 
Phone/Cyber/Video Sex: Jesse does all three. You're getting dick pics. He will ask for nudes and videos, even if he already has them. There is never enough in his collection. You will receive some in return. He will barrage you with dirty texts. He feels no shame. He doesn't know what it is. More than once he's FaceTimed you, only for you to open the call and see him with his dick out. It's a common occurrence. 
Mirrors: He has huge ones across the way from his bed, just so he can watch your face when you're in a position where he can't see it. Jesse also likes to make you look at your reflection, whether it brings you shame or pleasure.
Period Sex: Jesse does not fear Aunt Flo. Only cowards do. He'll eat you out too. He thinks it's fun to show you your blood all over him. 
Bondage: Keeping people trapped in his coffins watching them squirm is a huge turn-on. Jesse will get right up on the lid to watch through his camera screen. If he's riled enough he will grind against it. He will also use ropes to restrain those he's got his eye on. 
Public Sex: Jesse will shamelessly pull you away to bang. He'll reach under the table if you're at a restaurant. Is it a fancy one? Even better. His fingers will play with you as you try to order from the waiter. Sometimes he'll even reserve the place so you two can have your fun in peace. In the car? He'll unzip his fly, pull out his cock and gesture to it while he's driving. Or he'll just pull to the side of the road and throw you into the back seat of his Chrysler. Did someone see? Good, Jesse wants to show off. 
Necrophilia: IT'S TRUE. NO I WON'T CHANGE MY MIND. We all saw him lick Princess's corpse in the second movie. He was keeping the bodies all around. He humps coffins. Jesse will have his way with his victims just after killing them. The poor interns from his organization have to clean up the mess. It's not a great job, but it pays very well and the benefits are outstanding. 
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Jesse loves his mansion. He had it built to his own specifications, and his bedroom has a massive California king-size bed. He loves to show off himself and his affluence. Where else better to do it than there? His car is another favorite. Give him some road head or a handy and he's on cloud nine. 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You exist. He exists. You have holes, he has a penis. That's really all Jesse needs. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Poop. He likes to be clean. Even psychopathic murderers have standards.
No vomit either. You can gag on his weiner, but please don't puke. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Jesse loves receiving oral. He could sit there for ages and watch you suck his dick. It makes him feel like a king, which he is. 
If he likes you, he will more than happily attack you with oral. Being cute? Being a brat? Bent over? Spread those legs because he's going in. 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Jesse does not rush. He is slow and powerful. His size doesn't let him jackrabbit into you, but he doesn't need to. By the time he's done, you'll feel like you have no bones. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Of course! Jesse may be slow, but he is more than willing to whip out his cock and slip in and out. He knows just how to touch you, so making you cum quickly is easy. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Jesse fears nothing. He could buy off anyone if he got into trouble with you. He has public sex for a reason, and that reason is he doesn't give a single shit. He's willing to try most anything if you're down to clown. He's here to have a good time. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
This man can go all night. No problem. He may need a break, but he'll pick right back up in no time. As long as you're willing he's ready. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Jesse has plenty, though not as many as other people he knows. He prefers quality over quantity. They're not competition. They're for enhancing the experience. He'll happily use them on you, and let you use them on him. He has a prostate massager that he loves. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Jesse is actually not that much into teasing when he likes you. He'll do it playfully, but never to deny you pleasure. Though if you're being bratty he just might to teach you a lesson. He'd rather not wait to have his fun with you. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Jesse can't speak. His vocal cords have suffered some kind of damage during his life and left him mute. The only noises he can make are raspy grunts and groans during sex. Though he is limited, Jesse is not shy about making these sounds when fucking you. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Jesse is good friends with Asa Emory, the Collector. The type of friends with benefits. Asa is more often than not the top, despite their size difference. Jesse doesn't mind at all. He finds it quite cute, but he'd never say that to Asa. 
He often helped to fund many of the Collectors endeavors. Jesse thought that Asa's traps were hilarious. 
Jesse is more than willing to have a threesome between you and the Collector, if Asa is feeling agreeable. He might even just sit and watch…
Jesse's late wife was a huge Karen. He hated every minute with her and dreaded becoming a father. 
If you do marry him, he actually is a doting husband. His late wife wasn't lying about that. 
He does not want children. Ever. He'd rather die. 
His aesthetic is very important to him. If there's something with skulls or skeletons, he wants it. Even better if it's chrome or silver. We all saw his cute little skull briefcase. He has cute skull slippers. Skeleton boxers. All of it. 
His late wife hated his aesthetic. She made him stop wearing a lot of it. Once she died Jesse had a field day putting back on all of his skull themed jewelry. The man has rings for days. 
Jesse has a difficult time going to places he considers low-brow or 'poor'. He was raised rich, so he was never exposed to such things. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Seven inches and uncircumcised.
Large low hanging balls. 
The tip of his dick is pierced with a Prince Albert. And yes, it has a silver skull on the end.
He named his penis Lil' Jesse. He will never stop calling it that. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Jesse always wants you. All you have to do is look at him suggestively. Or just look at him. He'll ask if you're ready to bang. 
The epitome of "So we fuckin' or what?" 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Jesse will fall asleep with you. He's not one to pass out as soon as he nuts. He's too proud for that. His ego couldn't handle the shame. 
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katierosefun · 10 months
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not to be like “ugh aos crew” again but ugh aos crew again spock really got accepted into the most prestigious university on vulcan and was like “haha fuck you <3″ bc they insulted the fact that he’s mixed-race jim banged his forehead in the shuttle within the first 30 seconds he was on board leonard was hiding in the bathroom of said shuttle because he hates flying sulu couldn’t get the ship to warp for the first 3 minutes of his first-ever flight on the enterprise uhura is mostly okay still except she’s also got a thing going with her former professor so maybe that raises some eyebrows (ha) scotty is literally in a butt-fuck middle of nowhere outpost on a death ice planet chekov is. seventeen. i don’t really have much more to add to that except guys your ensign is seventeen years old
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skillbattle · 2 months
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i love him so much do you believe in annoying bitchy old gay man rights
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jjlr101 · 11 months
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Everytime i read a dps related post that says something along the lines of "fuck Cameron" i cry a little, a part of my soul dies, my heart shrinks, my hands get cold until i lose all body heat and die of hypothermia and it will all be your fault ❤
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simbasomba · 2 months
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What if I drew Donnie like how crazy would that be
(Oooh @knightbobblecat )
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More Nimona headcanons because these dorks have taken over my brain
I feel like Nimona tried really hard to hate Ambrosius
The first month they knew each other Nimona tried so hard to antagonize him and poke fun at him and remind him of the shit he’s done wrong 
But it’s kind of hard to hate someone who’s slow to anger and quick to forgive 
Reminding someone of their past mistakes with the intent to hurt them kind of stops being fun when the person is constantly aware of their mistakes 
And owns up to them without making excuses and is constantly trying to undo the damage their mistakes caused  
After a while, he grows on her and she starts to trust him and in return he trusts her
This one is based heavily on me and my best friends 
Nimona and Ambrosius will talk shit loudly in public 
They won’t use code names and if they don’t know the person they’ll start describing them like “Did you see that dude in the yellow shirt? He just pushed that kid out of line what a dick!”
They won't check to see if the person is out of earshot either they simply don't give a fuck
And this gives Bal so much fucking anxiety enough that he starts pleading with them to stop
You hear them going off about something and Bal saying “Ambrosius love hun sunshine I’m begging you to keep your voice down” 
“Nim Nimona starlight hi I would like to remind you that they’re still behind us and I don’t want to explain to Ambrosius why you’ve gotten into another fight this week so please stop” 
To which Nimona responds with “Tell him he’ll probably laugh”
Whenever Nimona and Ambrosius want to rant they rant to each other 
Because Bal is the type of person to give advice in the middle of a rant 
Talking some “If you explain this to them in a calm and compassionate manner I’m sure they’ll stop”
And while that's excellent advice sometimes you just want to scream your most unhinged thoughts at someone 
And they never judge each other either 
Nimona can look Ambrosius dead in the eyes and go “Have you ever gotten so angry during an argument that you’ve considered lighting their car on fire?” 
And Ambrosius won't even think about it he’ll respond immediately with a “Who hasn't?” while Bal slowly backs out of the room and silently vows to hide his car the next time they fight 
Whenever Ambrosius comes home from a stressful day at work he just walks into the house and lets out the most dramatic drawn out sigh 
And whenever Nimona hears that noise they’ll run to the living room and sit on the couch patiently waiting for their daily rant session 
Whenever Nimona gets home and wants to rant he’ll walk around until he finds Ambrosius
And if he can't find him he’ll sit by Bal and stew in his anger while he waits for him to come home 
He can't even take one step through the door without Nimona saying something like “How dare you make me wait” 
And Ambrosius will always respond with something like “Oh I’m so sorry firecracker it’ll never happen again”
And encourage them to tell him the information they’ve been patiently waiting to spill
Bal doesn’t rant unless he’s literally at the end of his rope
Like you have to royally screw him over for him to go home and rant to his family 
When he finally rants to them they don’t make a big deal out of it 
But they do however try their best to take care of him without raising his suspicions 
Nimona will conveniently make Bal’s favorite dinner 
Ambrosius will just so happen to pick up his favorite dessert on his way home (cause they both know the signs of a Bal rant and they plan accordingly) 
They listen to his rant and let him eat his favorite food in peace while they play his favorite movies 
You know real wholesome shit 
All the while they’re coming up with plans in their head to destroy this person's life
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