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#he's a real scumbag in this movie but he looks so cute in that shirt
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Put On Your Raincoats | Good Girls, Bad Girls (Dorfman, 1984)
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This is another entry for Noirvember… and it actually fits the bill pretty well! The story here has Joey Silvera investigating the murder of a theatre actress played by Colleen Brennan by interviewing those close to her, and I think the noir element feels pretty genuine both with the detective framing and the presentation of Brennan’s character that’s contradictory and not entirely sympathetic as revealed through the investigation. I think the movie is ultimately too kindhearted to really condemn any of the characters like a classic noir probably would (the only truly sympathetic character here is played by Jerry Butler, who looks like such a piece of shit with his muscle shirt and the rope he uses as a belt, and gets called a scumbag by Brennan after they have sex) and the ending probably backtracks on some of Brennan’s complexity, but there’s a level of commitment here that goes beyond merely having a detective story (which some of the porno noirs I’ve seen don’t even properly adhere to).
It also helps that the performances here are pretty good, with Silvera providing a nice and sturdy centre, Brennan pulling off the different shades of her character and affecting a pleasing twang in at least one scene, and a host of supporting players like Sharon Mitchell and Paula Meadows providing some nice character colour. (I should note that George Payne looks especially pasty and coked out in this, but it actually doesn’t hurt his character.) But the best thing in the movie is the genuinely cute relationship between Silvera and a female cop played by Carol Cross, who has “a real knack for murder” and looks really cute in a police uniform. Her optimism pushes back on Silvera’s cynicism, and there’s a real love and care in their relationship.
“I hope we find out Velva really was nice. It’d be such a change from all those ‘bad girl brought it on herself’ cliches.” “There is one person who didn’t think she was so nice.” “Who?” “Whoever shot her face off.”
But the movie suffers as a porno. The most effective scenes here are the ones that are just allowed to play out (as much as a POS Butler’s character comes across as, I can’t deny that his scene with Brennan is pretty spicy). But more than once, the movie opts to cut between multiple scenes, a tactic that pretty much always takes the charge out of any of the couplings depicted. There is some decent style and conceptual ambition here, with one sequence cutting between different levels of flashback and surveillance, and another with voyeuristic elements. The latter sequence has Paula Meadows wearing a bowtie while jacking off Joey Silvera as he watches an orgy unfold, so it is not entirely without merit, but whatever charge the movie hoped would materialize through the cross-cutting in both cases is undone in the editing room.
And on a final note, I think most people would agree that Brennan is an attractive woman, and I assume she had enough of a fanbase. So it baffles me why instead of her (whose performance covers both angles of the title) on the poster, we get some rando. This is something I’ve seen with plenty of classic porn posters and it continues to baffle me.
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wastefulautist · 3 years
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Cold in July (2014)
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miyagihawk · 3 years
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“best friend” | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader
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a/n: his hair is blue in the gif but red in the story :) also this is a bit long but i love it this is one of my favs
warnings: mentions of violence and cheating, swearing
summary: your boyfriend cheated on you and your best friend hawk is there for you
word count: 4207
You should’ve known. It couldn’t have been more obvious.
The way that he doesn’t let you see what’s on his phone. How he never takes you out anymore. The emotional distance you feel when he kisses you. It’s like he’s not even in the same room when you’re together.
Even with all the signs and evidence, your heart still broke like glass when you saw them together. Your boyfriend Danny and the girl that he always assured you was only his “best friend”, locking lips on his bed.
You had come to Danny’s house because he cancelled plans with you, claiming that he was sick. So you decided to surprise him with cookies that you baked, but he ended up having quite a surprise for you too.
The window of his room gave you a perfect view of the scene, and it was almost like you were meant to see it. Like he wanted you to see it. You stood in front of his house for what seemed like forever, trying to figure it out if it was real.
You tried d to rack your brain for excuses as to why he would do it. But there weren’t any. He was simply cheating on you.
Your heart physically hurt as your brain settled on that fact and you threw the plate of cookies on his lawn in defeat. Not caring if the noise made him look out the window, you began the walk back to your house with blurry vision from your tears.
But on the way there, you passed the house of your best friend Hawk. Seeking comfort from your heartbreak, you made your way to his window that you’ve always used as an entrance when you two hang out.
His light was on and you could hear his music, so you knocked on the glass with the rhythm you both made up to let him know that’s it’s you.
You waited as the music stopped and Hawk pulled back the curtains to reveal you. His red hair was down and framing his face in the way you like it. You’re the only person he allows to see him like that, and that fact always warms your heart.
Hawk looked happy to see you, but his smile dropped when he saw your tear stained cheeks and he quickly opened up the window. Helping you get in, he asked, “Y/N, what happened? Are you okay?”
You stood awkwardly in front of him, playing with your fingers. You weren’t sure if you even wanted to tell Hawk. He’s always hated Danny, and Hawk isn’t the most peaceful of creatures.
You didn’t say anything and just buried your face into his chest. You started to cry again, feeling safe in his arms as he held you tightly.
He led you to the bed to sit you down and let you cry it out in his warm embrace. He was worried about you, he’s never seen you like this; but he wouldn’t force you to talk. So for 15 minutes, Hawk ran his fingers through your hair comfortingly as you calmed down from your sobs.
“I’m sorry,” you spoke for the first time, smoothing down your hair. His shirt was filled with your tear stains, but he really couldn’t care less. He just wanted you to be okay.
“Don’t be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” he said softly. He had a feeling about why you were crying, and he felt anger starting to bubble in his stomach.
You contemplated for a moment, not knowing if you should tell him. You knew Hawk. He would seek revenge on your behalf and it would end in blood.
But he would also find out anyways. If not from seeing Danny at school with the other girl, then he would probably put the pieces together if you told him that you broke up.
The only difference in the outcomes would be that right now you’re in control of how he finds out and you could possibly convince him to leave the situation alone.
“I-It’s Danny,” you breathed, feeling queasy about your decision.
You saw something flash in Hawk’s eyes and his fist tightened at the mention of your (ex) boyfriend’s name. “What did that fucker do,” he said, with a frightening, calm anger.
“Just... Don’t get mad, okay?” you stuttered. You could almost feel the change in the air just from the two words you spoke. Hawk unclenched his jaw and nodded, trying to be calm for you.
“I went to his house, and that was before I came here. And... I saw him with...,” your voice quavered as tears started blurring your vision again. It hurt to say it out loud and you couldn’t even finish your sentence.
Hawk abruptly stood up from beside you, and through your tear filled eyes, you could see the rage on his face. “I’m killing him,” was all he said, as he moved around the room to get his keys and jacket.
You stood up when he got to the door, and you pulled on his arm to make him stop. “Hawk, please. Stop,” you cried, but he was determined to make Danny hurt the way you were hurt. He wanted to hurt him more.
“That asshole was lucky to even have you look at him, Y/N. He’s fucking dead,” Hawk spit, taking his arm from you and making his way to the front door.
“Hawk! Just- stop. Stop! He isn’t worth it. Can you just stay here with me?” you whimpered, and at that moment his face fell. “Just stay, please. I need you.”
You saw the conflict on his face; the pity for you and his hatred for the boy who broke you. But with you in front of him, with puffy eyes and a cute red nose, he knows there’s no way he can leave.
The rest of the night, Hawk took care of you. He ordered in pizza from your favorite place and watched your favorite Disney movie with you, even though he always called it lame. His jokes made you laugh uncontrollably as if you hadn’t just gotten cheated on hours earlier. As always, your best friend was there to save the day.
“I’m sorry Y/N,” he said quietly as he played with your hair. It was already 1 am and you were both laying on his bed. You were exhausted from the day’s events; the thought of school the next day, especially seeing Danny, made you want to throw up.
“You were right,” you whispered, closing your eyes. Hawk had always been wary of Danny, and he often let you know it.
“Well, you see the best in everyone,” you felt the vibration of his voice from his chest, where you rested your head.
“What do you mean?” you looked up at him, struggling to read his face in the dark. His face was turned towards the ceiling in deep thought.
Hawk cleared his throat. “You see the good in people... and that’s my favorite thing about you. But sometimes you’re just so blind to the bad,” he explained.
You stayed quiet, thinking about his words and not really knowing how to interpret them. He continued, “I guess I’m trying to say that you’re different from normal people; you see through rose colored glasses. You dated that scumbag because you’re so loving that you saw the good in him, even if there’s fucking barely any.”
You laughed at the remark, then let him go on. “Even with me. I do shit that make people hate me. I throw punches that I regret and start fights that make me a horrible person in other people’s eyes. But you don’t really think of me like that, no matter how much I mess up. You’re the only person in my life who doesn’t see me as my fuck ups,” Hawk poured his heart out. “But I promise, I would never take advantage of you like him. Just keep living in your little world, alright? Don’t let him ruin that.”
You were left speechless. He had never said something so heartfelt to you and you wanted to cry at how sweet it was. You’ve never really thought about his view of you, but you guess it’s true. Sometimes your blind optimism gets you hurt, but you’re thankful that it helped you find your best friend. Yes, he’s not an angel, but if you listened to what everyone was saying about him, then you two would be strangers.
“I love you Hawk,” was all you said, and you kissed his cheek before cuddling into his side. He returned a kiss into your hair before the both of you drifted off into peaceful sleep.
-
The brightness of the sun woke you up from your dreams, and it took you a minute to adjust your eyes. Memories of yesterday flooded back, but you didn’t really feel sad.
The new day gave you a new perspective. You were grateful that you caught Danny, because if you didn’t, you might’ve never known. It still hurt that he betrayed you; you did love him. But wallowing in sadness would give him too much credit. He was a shit boyfriend and you vowed to cry no more tears over him.
The bed was empty, with no trace of your red haired best friend. In his place was a piece of paper with what you recognized as Hawk’s terrible handwriting.
‘Good morning you terrible snorer. Just kidding you didn’t snore. That loud. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up for school, you looked really tired and I think you should just have the day for yourself. I have karate later so you don’t have to wait for me, but you can stay if you want. There’s more ice cream in the freezer. Love you. -H’
You smiled as you read it, feeling thankful for how caring Hawk was. You were dreading going to school and facing Danny, but you would’ve forced yourself to go anyways. Hawk probably knew that, so he gave you no choice.
The first part of the day you did some therapeutic cleaning, picking up the pizza boxes and trash from last night.
Then you explored around his room, even though you’ve been in it a thousand times. You went through the comics he used to read and you tried playing his video games, but you didn’t know how to turn it on.
You were already bored by the second hour of being alone, so you decided to head to your own house to freshen up.
‘I went home, I’ll see you tomorrow? Thank you for everything, I don’t know what I would do without you. Also I’ll buy you more ice cream lol I finished it’ you typed a text to Hawk as you walked home, smiling to yourself. 
After a relaxing day alone of face masks and dancing to Lizzo, you were prepared to go to school the next day. You really appreciated that Hawk made you stay home; you needed this time to reflect on everything. You don’t need some boy who doesn’t give you the time of day, when you have Hawk.
-
As you got ready to go to school, you felt like a bad bitch, and you looked like one. No one would ever guess that you’ve just been through a breakup. The heartbreak didn’t last long; you just felt like you’ve dropped some unneeded weight.
You got to school, but Hawk wasn’t waiting at the front for you as usual. It was weird, because he never said anything about missing class. You figured he was just running late. 
But when he never showed up to your shared first period class, it made you worry.
‘Hey, did you not go to school today? Everything good?’ you sent him a quick text as you walked through the halls to your next class.
You were feeling anxious, a contrast from your earlier confidence. You didn’t think you’d be alone today and now you really didn’t want to see Danny without Hawk by your side.
But as if you summoned him and the universe hated you, your cheating ex boyfriend was coming from the other end of the hall. Your eyes met at the exact same moment and you wanted to look away, but you couldn’t.
A black eye adorned his face, matched with a bruised jaw and a wounded lip.
His eyes frantically searched around you as if he was looking for someone. He looked scared.
Suddenly, your brain put all of the puzzle pieces together and you came to a realization. Hawk did this, and he wasn’t at school because he probably got suspended.
Danny tried to move past you, but you grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the hallway. He didn’t meet your eyes as you stood in front of him.
“Danny... what happened?” you asked, even though you already knew the answer.
You didn’t know how to feel. You know you should be angry that Hawk didn’t listen to you, but you felt no pity towards the boy in front of you.
Danny scoffed. “You know what happened. Your little boyfriend started the fight, saying shit about how I don’t deserve you and I’m a cheating asshole.”
You rolled your eyes. “One, he’s not my boyfriend. Two, he’s right, you don’t deserve me. And three, you are a cheating asshole. You said Emily was just your friend, but I should’ve known. I saw you,” you snapped, but he shook his head and laughed.
“You don’t see it, do you? That you’re just as guilty as me?” Danny sneers.
“What?” you blink in confusion.
“Oh come on Y/N. You were always his. It was him first, and then me. But he was just your “best friend”, right? Don’t act all innocent, when anyone can see that you have feelings for him.”
Your mouth falls open slightly at his words, and he continues, “Look I’m sorry that it went down like this, but you should be with him. We’re just not meant for each other and it’s obvious that you love him more than you’ve ever loved me. And he loves you too. Otherwise I wouldn’t be looking like this. We’re fine, alright? Goodbye Y/N.”
Danny gives you a tight lipped smile before leaving, but you’re left staring into space, speechless. You didn’t expect anything he just told you and you don’t even know if you believe it.
Is he right? Do you love Hawk, like that? You’ve felt like the victim the whole time, but you never would’ve thought that Danny felt like one too.
You began to feel guilty, looking back on the relationship at times when you would leave dates with Danny to pick up Hawk when he’s in trouble. When you would choose to sleepover at Hawk’s house instead of Danny’s because he had a breakdown. And when sometimes you’re a little bit too affectionate with your best friend, but you’ve always excused it as platonic even though his forehead kisses gave you butterflies.
Maybe you really weren’t all that innocent.
Maybe you did love Hawk more than Danny, and maybe you’re only just now realizing it.
-
The pattern of the knocking at your window made your stomach turn.
You’re not sure if you’re ready to face Hawk after your revelation, because after thinking on it for the rest of the day, all signs pointed to him. Every single thing Danny said was right.
You love Hawk.
The only thing you aren’t sure of is how Danny said he loves you too. You’ve always thought that Hawk sees you as a little sister and strictly as a best friend, which is why he’s so protective. The possibility that confessing your feelings could ruin your relationship created a conflict within you.
You opened your window and there he was. He had a gash right above his brow, presumably from Danny, but he didn’t look half as bad as the boy he beat up.
You saw Hawk in a different light as he stood like Romeo before you. It was as if the realization of your feelings for him made his eyes look more beautiful and his lips look softer, and you no longer had to faithfully push those thoughts away.
“Hey,” was all he said, as he stumbled in through the sill into your room. His hair was down again, because he knew you liked it like that and he hoped it would help you not be too mad at him.
“Hi,” you said awkwardly, walking back to sit on your bed where he followed. He sat close to you so that your shoulders were touching, and even though he’s been closer, it made you feel lightheaded.
“Look, Y/N, I’m sorry, I know you said to leave it alone, but he hurt you, and I needed to-”
“I’m not mad,” you interrupted his nervous rambling.
“Oh,” his shoulders relaxed, but his fingers were still nervously tapping on his knees.
There’s a weird silence between you two, and it was out of the ordinary that you didn’t have something to talk about.
“Are you alright?” you finally looked at him for the first time since you both sat down.
You don’t know what compelled you to do it, but you lifted up your hand to lightly trace your fingers along his brow where the cut was. His ocean eyes were on you as you did it, but you felt nervous to meet them.
“I’m fine. Did you see him?” Hawk said in a light tone, smiling as you touched his skin.
You let out a quiet laugh. “Yes. Nice work,” you mused.
You pulled your hand away from his face, but he grabbed it before you could put it down. He moved your hand back to his skin, releasing millions of butterflies in your stomach. “I like it,” he said, and you only nodded.
“So how long are you out for?” you questioned, referring to his suspension.
“Three days,” he mumbled, eyes closing in relaxation as you started touching his hair. You sighed in response. “It was worth it though.”
He still had his eyes shut when you put down your hand and wrapped your arms around him. He blinked in surprise, then held you closer. “Thank you. You’re the only one who would take a punch for me,” you said, pouring gratitude into the embrace.
“I don’t think that’s true, but you’re welcome,” he rested his head in the crook of your shoulder and you felt his hair tickle your ear. “It was for me too, you know? I hated his guts.”
You responded with a hum of understanding, still grasping onto him like he could leave any moment.
He pulled back from you enough to see your face, and he looked concerned while he tried to read you. “What’s wrong?”
You really underestimated how much he knows you, because he sensed your anxiety even though you tried to mask it.
“Nothing’s wrong,” you offered a smile, but he wasn’t convinced.
“Did you talk to him?” he asked, rubbing soft circles on your hand. He knew you were thinking about something and he wanted you to open up, but he was always delicate with it.
You just nodded, feeling your palms getting sweaty. Talking about your conversation with Danny would bring up what he said about you and Hawk, and you weren’t even sure if you wanted to spill your heart yet. You internally cursed at yourself for not hiding your emotions well enough.
“Did he say shit to you? I swear if-”
“No. We just... talked,” you cut him off. You prayed that he would leave the topic, but he didn’t.
“What about?” he pressed, making you feel hot from nerves.
“Uh... I just asked him about what happened,” you answered, but there was no way he couldn’t hear the shake in your voice.
“Then what’s bothering you? You can talk to me Y/N,” he said softly, a worried look in his eyes. You felt bad keeping secrets from him, because that’s something you never did.
“Promise me we’ll always be best friends,” your voice shook, making his face twist up in confusion.
“What? Of course. Hey, nothing could change that alright?” he looked at you with his soft eyes.
You swallowed, feeling a bit better by his reassurance.
“He- He just said some things that made me think about... us. And I was blind to it, but- he’s right. Well he’s right about me, I don’t really know how you feel, but now I’m just so confused- and for some reason him cheating on me felt justified in a way? I-” you rambled anxiously, until Hawk stopped your frenzy of word vomit.
“Woah, woah, slow down Y/N... just... what? What is he right about? And how could that be justified? There’s no excuse for what he did Y/N,” his voice raised at the mere thought of Danny gaslighting you into thinking that somehow you deserved to be cheated on.
“No- I- I know it was shitty but... Hawk,” you took a deep breath to prepare yourself for your confession. “I think I cheated too. But not like him. I- I cheated emotionally,” you spit the words out, not only admitting it to him, but also to yourself.
The red haired boy’s face was blank in confusion as he processed what you had just said. “Y/N what the fuck are you talking about?”
You struggled to reach his eyes while you carefully tried to think through your answer. You felt like if you looked at him you would simply melt, but maybe in this case it would be a good thing.
He put his hand gently under your chin to tilt your face towards his, forcing you to meet his blue, puzzled eyes. You wanted to burst into tears under his gaze, because you had no idea what to do.
Hiding your feelings could ruin your friendship. Confessing has the same chance. So which are you supposed to choose?
“Hey, hey, it’s alright. I love you. I love you so fucking much Y/N and that’s forever. Nothing you say or do could change that,” Hawk said, rubbing your hand comfortingly. He thought you were hesitating in telling him because you were afraid of his judgment.
Those three words. They felt different this time. They made you more dizzy. More fluttery. The way he said it was the same as all the other times, but the way it made you feel was just so different.
It gave you such a high that you decided to take a leap of faith before you could fully think it through. A leap that you know deep down was always going to happen, even if it looked like there were two choices. You could regret it, but you just jumped.
“I love you. I mean, I’m in love with you, Eli. I’ve always been in love with you.”
You felt like you needed to run away right as you said it, as if the words were a bomb that you didn’t want to see the aftermath of. You didn’t want to see the outcome because you were afraid it would just leave you devastated.
Eli.
His mouth slightly fell open at the use of his old name, next to your piercing confession.
For some reason it slipped out of your mouth, but it felt right. You’ve probably said it five times ever since “Hawk” was born, but it was only used in serious conversations. Like when you comforted him after his dad died. Or when you were so worried about him when he ran away from home for a week.
“I’m so sorry, Eli,” you said, after hearing the news.
“I missed you so much, Eli, never fucking do that again,” you cried into his shoulder when he showed up at your door.
It was like a code between the two of you that you were being nothing but genuine.
Hawk sat in shock in front of you, and you swore you could actually see the escalation of thoughts running through his head.
“Maybe it took an asshole like Danny to make me realize it, but he was right. I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you... and I knew that, but it’s just how it’s always been. I thought we would go through life together but be with other people, even though I would always put you first. I thought that it was just an us thing, you know? Best friends. But I just- I realized that I don’t even need anyone else. I only need you,” you scanned his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I know I won’t love anyone else like I love you. And- and god, I’m just pouring my heart out and I don’t even know how you feel... I’m sorry if this is too much.”
He stared at you, stunned, and you heard your heart pounding in your chest violently as you waited for him to say something.
But instead of speaking, you felt the softness of his lips on yours before you could think another thought.
a/n: wow i think that was the longest thing i have ever written and i wasn’t sure if i was going to end it like that :0 anyways hope u enjoyed love u all!
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screensirenfic · 4 years
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Menthol Cigarettes - Chapter 35
I barely slept a wink that night; too busy tossing and turning as I tried to come up with a reason why this had happened. Why he had done this to me.
I mean; it wasn’t like she actually saw him doing anything, and El insisted that he was fully dressed, but still; it was pretty obvious what was going on.
She liked to believe that that girl was in trouble; that somehow, for some reason Billy was hurting her, even after I tried to explain the ‘other’ possibilities that seemed much more likely.
I don’t know if I’d have preferred it; honestly?!
I mean; sometimes Billy acted a total psycho, and I knew that it wasn’t always aimed at me, but was I really gonna talk myself into this instead of just accepting he was cheating?!
So, that was why we were here, marching up to Max’s house, because El honestly believed that girl was in trouble, and I was too much of a paranoid bitch to leave everything to chance.
“It’s going to start pouring soon. We should be at the mall, or watching a movie, or something...” Said Max, for once being the naysayer in the situation.
“You don’t believe me?” Eleven asked; still set on confirming her vision with her own two eyes.
“I believe you saw some super weird stuff; totally!” Max reassured her; unwilling to come across as the skeptic, no matter what the reality was.
“But you said Mike’s senses you in there before, right?” Max asked, trying her best to sound reasonable.
“So maybe it was just like that. Maybe Billy sensed you somehow.”
Maybe she’d like to think that was true, but needless to say, it had Eleven’s hackles up; mine too, although that was for an entirely different reason.
I mean; could he really be that much of a scumbag?!
I thought we’d gotten over this months ago; Billy finally realising that just because he had a reputation as a ladies man, didn’t mean he had to keep it up when he was in a relationship.
Of course; this wasn’t just a simple case of harmless flirting.
This was a full on, hardcore fu-
“His car’s not here.”
Max stated; her and El having managed to trail ahead of all my fretting as we now stood in front of the house.
“Are you sure you both wanna do this?” She asked, to which both nodded resolutely.
Whatever laid in wait inside Billy’s room; I could handle it.
I’d already had to deal with much worse.
——————————————————-
Sometimes I was grateful my upbringing hadn’t been exactly conventional, and this was one of those times…
Some girl’s dads taught them to change a tire, or put up a shelf, but mine had taught me to shoot rifles, throw punches, and in this case; pick locks.
Not to say it was an easy task, especially with two teenagers breathing down your neck like this was an episode of Jeopardy!
“Almost got it…” I said; thankful that my bobby pin hadn’t decided to break on me yet.
A click sounded, and the pin turned.
“There…” I smiled, turning the handle and pushing the door open wide.
“Why do I get the feeling we’re gonna find all kinds of wrong in here?” Max asked, lingering by the doorway whilst I walked straight in, already intimately familiar with the room in question.
I don’t exactly know what we were planning to find in here.
I mean; I’m pretty sure we all had very different explanations of Billy’s weird behaviour; some wilder than others.
El was expecting to find a body, or something; too many late nights spent watching cop shows with dad to have any real grasp on what to expect in an investigation.
Max was…
Well; I’m not entirely sure what Max was looking for. Probably something to prove her brothers innocence; as weird as that sounded when referring to a boy like Billy Hargrove.
And I wanted to find… Well; nothing.
I wanted to find the place exactly how I’d left it in the vain hope that it would put my anxiety to bed, and I could go on living like I had before; with one dedicated, if a little over-possessive boyfriend, who’d never dream of hurting me.
El launched straight into investigator mode, heading over to his closet to sort through hanger after hanger of double denim and cotton shirts, whilst I stuck to the edges of the room; eyes and fingertips skimming over the culmination of my boyfriend’s existence.
It didn’t look like the room of a cheater.
Not with copious amounts of photographs of us together plastered on whatever surface they’d stick to.
Whether it be cute little polaroids of us in the Camaro when the sun hit just right and made us look like movie stars; or dumb photo booth print outs where we’d pull faces that he’d never let see the light of day outside his safe space; he kept them all.
My hand lingered over a particularly memorable one; a polaroid just bordering on decent of the pair of us in bed together, my bare chest barely covered by the sheet as Billy held the camera high in the air, grinning up at it whilst I buried my face in his neck.
I remembered the day he took that photo;
I’d just bought him that camera as a late birthday present, and he was complaining that I could’ve got him something more fun; “fun” being the key word here that usually translated as “obscene” to Billy.
I’d insisted that we could have plenty of “fun” with his polaroid camera, which proceeded in him coercing me into letting him take a couple of “artistic” shots; cuing the start of his little photograph collection that he was so keen on expanding.
After he’d finished, and taken liberties to indulging in a near dizzying amount of birthday sex, he’d reached across to take “one last photo”; this being one he could keep on his wall, despite my insistence otherwise.
I’d been nervous and embarrassed of it back then; not wanting him to get in trouble if his dad happened to find it taped to his mirror of something, but now; I could finally see the beauty in it.
Billy looked so relaxed and carefree; like it was honestly one of the happiest moments in his life, and even with my face half hidden against his skin, I was smiling too; a clear sign that despite my protests, I was loving every minute of-
“Ugh! Gag me with a spoon!”
Max groaned; having stumbled across Billy’s so-called “underwear” drawer in his nightstand, which was actually filled with girlie magazines and “souvenir” pairs of my panties.
“Hey; Lo. This has got your name on it-“
I darted over to her, snatching the labelled envelope from her hand, absolutely adamant that the kid should never be exposed to its contents.
“Trust me. You do not want to see that.” I warned, watching as the kid’s face crinkled in disgust; probably already guessing exactly what Billy would keep in there.
I shoved the envelope back in the drawer, slamming it shut; because who knew what else Billy kept in there, and with that Max took the opportunity to further the parameters of her search to the bathroom, El following behind.
———————————
It was weird being here without Billy, looking at his things with a strange sort of detachment which I couldn’t quite grasp.
Everything in this room held so many memories for me; whether it be the spicy scent of his cologne triggering flashbacks of his arms around me, or the sight of his leather jacket slumped on a chair; my mind racing bak to all the times I’d seen him in it before and felt my heartbeat pick up.
I walked over to it, picking it up and just holding it for a minute, thumbs running over all the bumps and creases in the worn leather, reminding me of the first time he’d asked me to dance; a once bittersweet memory gotten sweeter with time and circumstance.
He’d been such an ass back then.
Still was, if I was being honest; but I’d learnt to love that about him, even when he drove me crazy half the time.
I wondered if he’d known back then?
That beneath all that macho horse crap, and maschoist sadism, that he’d seen the possibilities of what this really could be.
I lifted his jacket to my face, inhaling the scent of cigarette smoke and stale cologne that always seemed to put my mind at ease.
“Lola;  I think you’re gonna want to see this…”
———————————
I walked into Billy’s bathroom, fully expecting my world to come tumbling down at the inevitable evidence of his cheating.
Instead; my heart dropped for another reason;
“Where did you find that?”
My eyes fell upon the red and yellow form of a lifeguard whistle; blood bright against the yellow plastic as it hand from Max’s hand.
“From the trash.” Max replied; picking up the dread in my tone.
“Do you think it could be-“
I opened my mouth to express denial, when Eleven interrupted;
“No. It’s hers.”
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It’s been a long, stressful week. So, I’m going to drunk-watch Twilight (this is part 1, I’ll do a part 2 later). So far, I have drunk watched and reviewed Eclipse, Breaking Dawn Part 1, and Breaking Dawn Part 2. I will probably drunk-watch and review New Moon some time in the near future. My sober review of Twilight is that it is the best of all the movies (But New Moon though, I know, it’s a very close second for me). I love that it was meant to be like a cool, niche indie film and Catherine Hardwicke is the best. The baseball scene. The meadow scene. The bio scene. Iconic. Anyway, my drunken thoughts are below the cut as per usual:
- So I know it’s like .0 seconds into this ish, but I just realized when Bella’s tlakign about dying in the place of someone she loves @ the beginning, we see the deer and then in BD2, when the mountain lion tries to kill the deer, Bella kills the mountain lion. Feels like symbolism idk.
- Phil really is like 25 years old lmao. Does it ever say how old he is? He looks young af. 
- Forks seems super depressing. Like the scenery is cool, but like there’s no one there? Only 3,000 people? Boring af.
- everything is so green and blue and aesthetically pleasing, thank you catherine
- i just realized the picture above the shelf with cds is also of a deer. the deer is important.
- the friendship between charlie and billy is all i want in life
- the truck literally brought a smile to my face. and the whsikey. 
- the high shcool looks more like a fancy ass mansion and idk why no one else has ever called out this fake shit
- eric is so precious an we deserved more of hom
- bella playing volleybal is me lamo i’m so uncoordinated at throwing shit liek that hahaha
- i just keep thinking about how anna kendrick forgot she was in this movie. if i played a character as written in canon by smeyer, i’d probably choose to forget it too. 
- mike is so fcking creepy lmao he could’ve been written better but smey r said no
- if people don’t look @ me and my mans on my wedding day the wya they look @ rosalie and emmett int he cafeteria scenr then imma fuking fight
- do not disrecpt carlisle like that hoe he is a flawless mna and deserve your full respecgt
- what the fuck i hate this scnee now that ik now abotu banner fck smyer’s nast y ass
- also lmao @ rob’s face he was foin to fuckng mucj
- wy the fuc did bella wear a bowling shirt over al ong gray shirt?
- my arms feel heavy af right now lmaooooo
- the lady they had play renene lowkey looks like krisen they did a good job casting them
- oooooh hell yeah eyes on fire time bitch
- emmett is my fave pullign up on top the jeep and hopping out like it’s nothing
- this scene is actually pwowrful because bella’s wathcin g the cullens but her human friends try to get her attention so it’s liek she’s being torn between the two worlds. cahterine’s mind
- i duckinf love the aesthetic and scnery of this movie
- mike really said how you likin da rain girlllllll lmao
- when edward apologizes though lowkey that shit’ cute and i would’ve fotgiven him too
- this bitch lied. tlaking about i don’t like any cold thing. homie. you a damn lie.
- “i’m just trying to figure you out” mhy ex said th  same damn thing lmaoooo bitch i ain’t about to let you figre me out unless yo uput a ring on it-
- whne i say edward stopping the van was ome iconic shit i mena inconng
- awww hell ya the hot doc is almost here
the moment i’ve ukjng been waiting on
- i love carlisle i’m so fucking thirsty for this bitch even though i just downed som mufng whiskey
- literally carlisle could get it period.
- rosalie is 1000% a daddy’s girl like anytime someone gives her shit she runs to carlisle and he’s got her back. he only supported edward and bella becaus esme did and she’s a hopeless romatic and carlisle loves that about her. but if it wans;t for esme, edward would’ve gotten his as sent lmao.
- if you see acreepy dude int eh corne of your room what ar you gonna do?
- agaain with the shot of bella being town between the humans vand vamps chathetiner’s mind
- tbh i eel like i know what should’v happened in canon better than smeyr at this poijtn and it’s not canpn that the cullens would’ve gone on a field trip. they just wouldn’t have like it’s extra risk and it’s unnecsary.
- edwar’ds fae when jessica rna upt talking about mike lmaoooooooo
- not gonan lie i love thsit shirt bella’s wearing when they’ra tlaking about la push kind of wanti kt
- the dumbas s salsd
- i want an edward fanvid to  bad guy by bullie easihr lish
- love thatb ella encouageed angela to ask etic to prom. a feminsit quenenne
- why di d theyr rcarst the original embry and quil? 
- when taylor said old scar tsotry the midwest accent popped thef ick out
- i love jow bellas all serious baout this shit and jake doesnt give af he’s like bitch it aint real lmaoooo
- i stan laurent and i’m so angry about what smeer did to him
why do people just layo out in the sun like this lmaoooo
- awww i’m so happy fro angela i love her
- bella was ahrdore fucking femimnist and it should’ee been more cental to the plot fmeinist bella never would’ve tolerated half the shit she tolerated from jale and edwar.snmeyr has no consitnency
- why tf would opu statt wlaking down a dark alley @ night
- edward saves the day from thos ecuckgjn scumbags
- i just relaized they/re usposed to be in wahsingtob but they have fucmngn oregon plates on the car lmaooooo
- but if a dude whopeped his car lioke that idc what kinda car he drove even a volvo that shti sexy aaf
- he looks so fcking angry lmaooooo @ jess and angela
- yhis scene is cute but it also looks like this is where rob regretted his decision t op lay an emo edodei boi
- the older ig et the creeperi it gets to me that edward followed her like yeah it worked and he ended up resuing her but like still creep yas fuk
- carlisle in that coat at the staitons does a lot for me
- if i was chalrie iw ould’ve given her a hwoel ass taser
- someone tell me why bella tbought the book if she was just goign to golg.e it all
- edward weares the same thign evry damn day lmaooooo
- why werent the yf facgtin eah other when bella was tlaking this shit is too mcuh 
- i wouldn’t be afriad eitgher @ carlise
- it would be fun to run tlike that thou lnao m
- the spakrling skin thuing is funny af while durnki thogjh
- eddie bou is so damn emo and overramatic liek bitch yo uuahgt feelings too chill thf out 
- efawrd remind sme s omcuhg of chuck in gossip girl has anyone else thoguth this
- bella striahgtu p toldthis dumbass she was aafrianf onky of losing him and he left her in the next one
- the meadowa as fucking iconing as everrrrrrr
- i;m not gonna make it through this hwole  movie i’m tired watch out for part 2
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thirstyfortom · 6 years
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High School Band AU: Ch. 24 (FINALE)
This became quite a habit. There’s always someone waiting for you next to your locker to drag you to the room where the musical theatre club used to gather. Who is it today?
“Oh… hey, Saeran.” You greet him bluntly.
“You say ‘yes’, I say ‘no’! You say ‘stop’, but I say ‘go, go, go’… oh no!”
“Did you just… say hi… you said hi to me?”
“That’s how people usually start a conversation, as I heard.”
“Well, uhm… hi. Hi… MC.” You look at him with a dumbfound expression. He seems… mad, confused… who are you kidding? You don’t know to read him. You never did.
“Oh no! You say ‘goodbye’ and I say ‘hello’. Hello, hello… I don’t know why you say ‘goodbye’ I say ‘hello’, hello hello. I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello.”
“Hi. And bye.” You give him an awkward smile and walk. See? It’s easy… it’s easy saying goodbye to him, you got this. There won’t be any problem in the afternoon when you will go back to your locker and empty it, you’re going to America tomorrow.
“Don’t go.” You hear his voice behind you. “I don’t want you to go.”
Does he mean now or…?
“You have no right to tell me what to do. You wouldn’t have even if you didn’t act like a dick that night, let alone… now.”
“I never meant to offend you, MC.”
“But you did, Saeran. You did! And that’s the thing with you and I, we never mean to do the things we do, but we do it anyway. We think…” no, shut up, you don’t have to tell him that, you don’t have to say anything to him rather than “goodbye!”… “We’re so used to being the weirdos we don’t know what to do when people are actually nice with us, so we mess up! We hurt them…well, I’m trying to do something about this!”
“Cut the crap! You’re just running away to your mommy!” Jackpot! He actually knows to read you…
You turn to face him. He looks as angry as he did the first time you’ve met. Only a month ago, so much has happened, and yet… nothing have changed for real.
“I say ‘high’, you say ‘low’. You say ‘why’ and I say ‘I don’t know!’”
“Yes, I am.”
“And I… don’t want you to do that.” Noticing how childish he sounds and how he doesn’t have much of a point, Saeran avoids your eyes. “Because I…”
“Oh no! You say ‘goodbye’ and I say ‘hello’. Hello, hello… I don’t know why you say ‘goodbye’ I say ‘hello’, hello hello. I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello.”
You shake your head impatiently. You know what he’s going to say, he’ll say “I love you”, and you know you shouldn’t hear this, you can’t care about this anymore, then… why are you glaring at him and pressuring him to say it?
“Because I thought you were better than this.”
“I don’t know why you say ‘goodbye’, I say ‘hello’. Hello! I say ‘hello’! Helloooooo…”
You can’t care, so why does it frustrate you that he didn’t say it?
“Goodbye, Saeran.” Sighing, you turn your back on him.
“Hay la, hey hello-a”
No, saying goodbye isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.
***
Saeran watches you heading towards your classroom. He feels like punching the locker, but… ugh, what’s the point? What was his point by coming to see you like this, again?
Ah, yes… he loves you.
But he didn’t say it, the words failed him, they always do when it comes to you. He never meant to hurt you, not even when he would tease you to see you getting mad and flustered, you were just… so cute back then. You are so cute… and so smart… and so bitchy, but… so… so… awesome. And he loves you.
But he didn’t tell you. And now you’re leaving without even knowing about that.
“I’ve fucked things up.” Saeran announces when he meets Yoosung and Saeyoung in the bathroom.
Yoosung growls in annoyance, Saeyoung only crosses his arms and lowers his head. Ugh… is he still mad?
“What… did you cuss her mom again?” Yoosung asks.
“No! I’m not that stupid, dude! I… tried to tell her I love her…”
“And?”
“I… basically said I’m… disappointed at her.”
Another growl from Yoosung, Saeyoung stays quiet.
“Well, it seems that drastic times call for drastic measures…” his twin finally speaks, adjusting his glasses. “It’s time to bring the big guns, brother!”
“I’m really scared of asking what are the big guns are.”
“Isn’t it obvious? MC is going to America, we’re teenagers… the answer is simple, fellas…”
“Please don’t say  ‘american high school movies of the 90’s’”
“American high school movies of the 90’s! Yeah, I’ve watched tons of these at the rental video store, so I know all about guys messing up and pulling a stunt a little before the girls decide to change their lives and run away from an environment that makes them feel dislocated their whole lives, you know, chick stuff… I, my friends, am an expert in chick stuff.”
“Said the guy who got fascinated and grossed out when he found out what tampons are for.”
“Girls are mysterious, and I’m all about their mystery! So, little brother… it’s time to pull a stunt!”
“Stunt?”
“Yep! It’s time for you to give a big fuck off to the school’s security and  pull out a whole stunt to confess your love for MC and make her stay! Pretty cool, huh?”
“No, not really, no…”
“Ah come on, bro! It’s romantic, it’s big, it’s the bad boy showing his softest side an embarrassing himself in front of everybody. All chicks love that!”
“You know I could just text her, there’s no need for that… and… even if I agreed on this… what’s the point, dude?” he sighs “Maybe you should confess to her.”
“M-me? What do I… what do I have to do with this?” he chuckles nervously.
“I’m not an idiot, Saeyoung. You like her… and so do you, right?” he points to Yoosung. “And so do Zen, Jumin and Jaehee… maybe one of you should do that, anyone would be a better option than me, anyway…”
It’s fast. Saeran just finds himself slammed against the wall. A pair of violet eyes shoot him mercilessly. Yoosung holds him by the collar of his shirt.
“Do you have any idea of how douchy you sound now? Tsk… I hate this!”
“Dude… calm your ass down…” Saeyoung holds his hands on air, visibly surprised too.
“No, Saeyoung! Don’t you see what he’s doing now? He’s basically taking her feelings, something that we all would die to have, and it’s throwing away like it doesn’t mean anything! I’m always quiet because I don’t want to interfere in any of this, but from the minute MC chooses a scumbag who takes her feeling for granted, and that scumbag happens to be one of my best friends, I have to say something! So, stop being an ass, Saeran! You go to that goddamn airport and make her stay!” Whoa… is that really… Yoosung now? Saeran stares at him with widen eyes, then he looks at Saeyoung.
“Is just as our yandere friend here says, bro. Don’t you think we would confess to her if we thought we have a chance? Well, I’m not trying any moves, and neither is Yoosung, Zen and Jaehee are stepping off too, but… if Jumin thinks he has any chance, bro, believe me, he will do something.”
“You think?”
“I know for a fact. Jumin wouldn’t chicken out on being super extra to pull the airport stunt… and he was the one who brought her mom here, so…”
Shit, his brother is… ugh… right. Yoosung lets go of his shirt, realizing their words put some sense on his head. Saeran was aware of everybody’s feelings for you, he just thought… nobody would have the guts to do something, just like he didn’t. And all of them are just too nice, they wouldn’t try making a move if it meant hurting their friends or even you. Well… not all of them… Jumin isn’t nice.
“Let’s watch those movies, for fuck’s sake.” Saeran sighs.
***
So that’s it. Your last day in here. It’s weird saying goodbye to a place you’ve never really connected with… not at least until last month. And soon this small connection will be over… you sigh, taking the things out of our locker and putting on a box. Books, a BIGBANG’s poster, and… a picture of the whole Mystic Messenger crew at the Winter Festival… you stare at the picture for a few seconds, feeling your heart overloading. Oh… you managed not to cry this entire time, can’t you hold it a little more? Just until you’re on that plane tomorrow?
You quickly wipe your tears and grab the box. You have to get out of here soon! Good thing the baseball team is having a match today, so there aren’t many people around the hallway. Well, you were always a little invisible, anyway… it’s not like anybody will notice you’re gone.
“Seems like you’re forgetting something.” You hear a deep voice behind you. Oh, this formal way of speaking. It’s Jumin, and he has the trophy of the Winter Festival. “Here.”
“Jumin, I can’t, I…”
“How can you not take something it’s yours?” he offers to you again. “If you don’t take it now, I’ll ship it to you, let’s save the trouble.”
“Jumin, I…”
“You never gave me the chance to tell my feelings for you, MC.” Oh no… not this again…
“Well, I… assume you’re still disappointed at me…?”
“Hardly. I knew from the moment you showed up, you were on it to win it, and you did. So no disappointment at all. What I feel for you… nobody would say it’s something bad…”
He has his hands in the pockets of his pants. It’s hard to see him relax, but now, he seems pretty comfortable. It’s definitely very different from that time he showed up at the record store.
“Respect.” He smiles. “And admiration.”
“Admiration? Wow…”
“Yes. I guess you could say I’m… I’m your biggest fan, MC.” You feel your face reddening. “And as your fan, I know you’re destined to achieve great success, so keep in mind I’ll always be supporting you and rooting for you no matter where you go.”
“Than-thanks, Jumin.”
“Thank you!” he bows a little. You feel like chuckling, Zen and him keep bickering, but sometimes the pull out the exact same flamboyant manners.
You both stop smiling when you hear the little static noise coming from the PA system in the hallway.
“You’re just too good to be true… can’t take my eyes off of you… you’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much At long last love has arrived. And I thank God I’m alive, you’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off you…”
Oh, this voice… it’s… Saeran.
“Pardon the way that I stare. There’s nothing else to compare… the sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak. But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that is real. You’re just too good to be true, I can’t take my eyes off you…”
Then you listen to a little coughing sound.
“Is this thing still on? Okay… alright… shut up, Saeyoung! Ahem, miss MC and mister Jumin Han, please go to the baseball pitch.”
“What the hell is Saeran doing?”
“Confessing.” You get red again. How can he say something like this so bluntly?
“Jumin… are you on this too?”
“Me? Yes, I’m in charge of distracting you by telling you how I truly feel so Saeran will have balls to take some action.”
“You… what?” Did Jumin Han just say “balls”?
“Don’t know, just following instructions that Saeyoung gave me. Now let’s go.”
You feel your heart pounding in your ears, your feet seem to be moving by themselves, ignoring that part of our brain who told you to just say goodbye to Saeran and never look back. Your feet are on your way to hear whatever he has to say, even if it isn’t a confession. No, it can’t be a confession, if it was, he would have sung till the chorus, where the lyrics are literally “I love you”.
“Enjoy the show, MC.” Jumin smirks before taking his bass from Zen’s hands…
The band is here, reunited next to the baseball pitch, in front of the paradise. Well, it’s a little different… Saeyoung took Saeran’s place as the drummer… and Saeran took yours at the vocals.
“Good afternoon, we’re Mystic Messenger!”
Saeyoung marks the beat with the sticks.1…2…1,2,3,4!
“I love you, baby! And if it’s quite alright, I need you, baby! To warm up lonely nights, I love you, baby… trust in me when I say…”
Saeran walks towards you, and suddenly you realize not even the baseball players seem to be paying attention to the match anymore.
“Oh pretty baby! Don’t bring me down, I pray. Oh pretty baby, now that I’ve found you stay. Oh pretty baby, trust in me when I say…”
Ahhh… saying goodbye never felt so hard…
***
Of all the awkward moments he had with you, this is definitely the most awkward. Your eyes gleam from the tears, and you seem to be in an intern debate about hiding your face or keep watching this. Saeran is really glad you seemed to have chosen the second option till the end of the performance.
“I suck with words, I’m just… awful. But… I’m always honest, MC.”
“You really are…” you both chuckle.
“Yes… so uhm… you have to believe me when I tell you I think you rock, you… you are amazing, and you… are talented, smart, you care about people in your unique way, and… any person would be lucky to have you near them. I… was an asshole to you on many more times I can count, and I am honestly sorry about that. I don’t know a single thing about your mom, but if you want to stay with her, it could only mean that… she is as awesome as you are, MC…”
Yes, that’s right… so it hits him.
“That’s why… you should go with her.”
“What!?” Saeyoung shouts.
“What?” you ask.
“You are awesome, MC. And you deserve to be happy, so if being with your mom makes you happy, you should go.”
“Saeran…”
“I love you, I love you so much I don’t mind seeing you go if it means you’ll be happy. I… love you, MC.”
“I… I love you too…” he nods and smiles, no, he can’t cry now… can’t he hold a little more? Just until tomorrow when you’re gone?
“So… will you go, MC? For you… and for me? Will you go?”
“Yes… yes, I’ll go, Saeran.” You smile between your tears, and he hugs you.
And yeah, nobody is understanding shit of this. But you are, and that’s all that matters for him.
***
“Your boyfriend seems nice, but his hair looks like shit.” Your mom whispers in your ear as you adjust your baggage.
“I think he looks pretty cool…” you shrug, smiling and waving at Saeran when he spots you in the airport. “You know, you should have pulled this whole stunt here in the airport, it’s more traditional.”
“Yeah, my brother said the same, but I give no shit to tradition.” You both laugh. He makes  a waiting gesture for you as he takes something out of the pocket of his jacket. It’s a little envelope, and he hands it to you.
“What’s that?”
“It’s the song I wrote for you… about you… I’ve wrote a lot, but everything was unfinished, this one is the only ready, so it’s yours.”
You hug the envelope tightly against your chest. You told him that you guys have this tendency to mess up with the people that are nice to you… but no, he’s not like that. Saeran is a great guy, who’ll become even greater when he grows up.
“You’ll text me everyday, right?” you can’t miss his growth.
“Sure. You’ll have your first text as soon as you get home, alright?”
Home. You’re going… home?
“Alright…” you hug him. Saeran hugs you back, and the world freezes for a few seconds.
No, this is home… He is your home. And one day, you’ll come back home…
It’s a promise.
“Promise”… the name of the song he wrote for you.
There will be an epilogue! ;)
←  Chapter 23 | Epilogue  →
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superman86to99 · 6 years
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Superman: The Man of Steel #23 (July 1993)
REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! In this issue: Steel vs. Superboy! I mean, "Superman” vs. “Superman”. The Man of Steel is battling some hoodlums armed with hi-tech killer weapons when the Metropolis Kid decides to butt in and "save him" in front of the cameras that follow him 24/7. (Side note: Was Superboy the first '90s reality TV star?) The Kid draws all the firepower to himself... accidentally causing the bad guys to shoot down a Daily Planet helicopter containing Lois Lane. The chopper blows up, signaling the death of a classic and beloved DC Comics character: Frank the helicopter pilot. RIP.
Lois, meanwhile, manages to jump out of the exploding chopper in time (probably out of pure muscle memory) and is rescued by Steel in a rather familiar-looking scene.
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Lois tries to turn the tragic situation into an exclusive interview with Steel, but Steel has something more important to do: chewing Superboy's butt for scaring off those criminals he was trying to interrogate (and, you know, causing a man's death). The Kid is like "I'm da real Superman, yo!" and bails... but as he flies away, he actually starts questioning his half-assed approach to superheroics. I'm sure Frank's wife and 12 children would find great comfort in that.
Meanwhile, Steel is approached by Lex Luthor Jr., who wants to offer him a job as one of his armored security guards (because having one S-shielded superhero in his pocket isn't enough for him). To butter Steel up, Lex offers him the location of the White Rabbit -- aka, the lady distributing all those highly advanced weapons to street gangs. Steel thanks Lex for the tip and immediately ditches him, making it clear that his services aren’t for sale.
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Steel drops by the White Rabbit’s penthouse, and she turns out to be an old flame from his time as a weapons designer for the military. Things almost get steamy for a second in there, until Steel remembers that this lady has made him indirectly responsible for countless deaths (all those weapons are his design). Once she takes the hint that Steel won’t work for her (either), White Rabbit just shoots him point blank with one of those big-ass guns, launching him off the building and into a convenient tanker parked outside.
Superboy (who was following Steel to apologize for being a dick) flies in just in time to pull Steel’s body from the resulting tanker explosion:
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By the time Superboy and Steel return to White Rabbit’s penthouse, the place is already empty. The two Supermen then bond over that whole “we’ve both caused innocent people to die today” thing and part amicably. Awww!
Plotline-Watch:
Ponytailed scumbag Jeb Friedman, having given Lois Lane WEEKS to recover from her fiance’s supposed death, urges her to “forget Clark” and go to Cairo with him. Don Sparrow says: “I hesitate to even mention that the hated Jeb Friedman appears here, and even Jimmy doesn’t want Lois rebounding with him. Serious question, though: are we supposed to hate Jeb? Or is it just happenstance?” If we weren’t supposed to hate Jeb, would they have given him a ponytail, Don?
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After meeting Steel, Lois reflects on the fact that the other Supermen may look like Clark, but Steel is the only one who acts like him. Obviously she doesn’t think Clark’s already been reincarnated as an adult black man, but she does seriously wonder if ghostly possession is a real thing.
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I love how efficiently Steel’s backstory is presented in this issue. As he and White Rabbit are about to lock lips, we see a handful of black-and-white panels showing the two working together for the military, hooking up, finding out his weapons were being used against innocents in Qurac, and then a flashback-within-the-flashback of Steel’s grandparents having just become victims of gang violence. It’s only half a page but it tells you everything you need to know about this dude and his motivation.
Superboy burns his hands while rescuing Steel, even though a clone of Superman should be equally invulnerable. Hmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmmmm.
The issue ends with Supergirl telling Lex she’s going off to look for Superboy, which leads to the next issue of Adventures.
And this leads to the end of my section! For more commentary, Easter eggs, and gratuitous images of White Rabbit, check out Don Sparrow’s section after the jump:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):
Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like none of the other four Superman titles seems as swayed by the importance of the storyline as SMOS.  What do I mean? I mean that when it’s a big storyline, like Panic in the Sky, or Doomsday, the art on the title really seems to rise to the occasion, and there’s some standout stuff being produced.  But in the meantime, when a story doesn’t feel as important, the quality seems to dip a little. To me, this is one of those issues.  We begin with the cover, and it’s not one of Bogdanove’s best.  Sure, his artwork could be called cartoony at the best of times, but this one really took on a loose, loony tunes sketchiness, particularly in Superboy’s “ain’t I a stinker?” expression and giant wall of teeth. He looks less like a 16 year old than he resembles Rex Leech, a character we’ll come to know better in time.
Inside, the story gets off to a slow start, as we’re abruptly thrown into a video of wannabe gangsters, moving in on where they think they’ll find John Henry Irons.  The double page splash revealing his location is an exciting one, and Dennis Janke does some interesting things with his hatching to indicate the shine of the metal, leaving certain areas unhatched to show a glimmer. 
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Bog’s depictions of The White Rabbit continue to push the envelope for how much skin a comic code approved book can show, both on page 7, and then later in the book. [Max: This next sequence of panels burned itself into my young mind. Because of the cool panel layout, I mean.]
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[December 2018 edit: White Rabbit’s body has been covered with Mike Carlin’s face so that Tumblr doesn’t delete this post. Sorry.]
Page 8 brings us a long sought after in-comics cameo.  If you’ll recall, back on one of my first reviews on this site, I interviewed the great Tom Grummett and asked him if there were any Easter Eggs that we should look out for while we were reading.  He answered that "My personal favorite moment was when Jon Bogdanove drew me in a scene with Jimmy Olsen in one issue of Man of Steel. I’m the one with the moose on his shirt. Happy hunting.”  Well, we need hunt no more, as a certain fellow pops up, arguing with Jimmy Olsen, and what’s that on his shirt?  A moose?! Found you! [Max: Are we the first on the internet to point out this cameo? I don’t have time to look it up, so let’s go with “Yes”.]
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I also love the little gag in the lettering, where the first part of “Saskatchewan” (Tom’s home province) is shown as “Saskatch” and then below that Bog has written “W-1”, phonetically completing the phrase.   It’s also a very Neal Adams-y couple of panels when Jimmy and Tom start to get heated debating who the real Superman is.  [Max: I wonder if the Neal Adams-esque panels above are homaging a specific Adams comic, or just his “intense argument” poses in general...]  Then a page later, there’s an unmistakable rendering of another Super-Teamster, none other than group editor Mike Carlin, scanning the police radio for scoops.
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As the story progresses, there’s a great shot of the Metropolis Kid (who they refer to as Superboy on this page, without a rebuttal from the Kid) showboating and holding one hand behind his back.  But, on the page that follows, a pretty heavy end for Daily Planet chopper pilot “Frank”, made all the more sickening by the lack of concern from the Kid leading up to this point. 
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Some great visual callback on page 12, as the mob scene when the Man of Steel rescues Lois Lane recalls the meet-cute at the shuttle disaster wayyyy back in MOS #1.
The scene were John Henry confronts the Kid about his carelessness is well-done, even if it gives way to another mention of the preposterous ‘spirit-walk-in’ idea, which even these characters seem to find tenuous.  
The flashback with White Rabbit does a good job of filling in the gaps of John Henry’s history (interesting how similar Irons’ motivation is to that of Tony Stark’s, at least in the movies) but it’s an odd scene—not just because of the aforementioned vamping from White Rabbit, but also Irons’ inaction in the scene—he went there to capture her, but mostly just stands around and then lets her stroll back over to the bed, where a weapon is clearly visible from where he’s standing. [Max: Can’t imagine what else he could be looking at.]
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As The Metropolis Kid rescues The Man of Steel, we get more looney tunes-style comedy, when the Kid comedically blows on his burning hands, trying to cool them. They seem to be working hard to establish how different his powers are from Kal-El’s, though they eventually go back on almost all of this stuff.
Moving on, we get a really nice look at Lois at a rainy window, once again musing on how the Man of Steel, while physically the most removed from Kal-El, seems to embody his “soul” more than the rest.
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
Is the cameraman gangster supposed to be a riff on Spike Lee? The glasses seem pretty similar to ones Spike wore at the time.
How is it that we never noticed such a giant, futuristic tower on the Metropolis skyline before?
Jimmy Olsen wearing a Spin Doctors t-shirt is a little too meta for my head, since one of their biggest hits was “Jimmy Olsen’s Blues”.  What does the DC Universe Jimmy think when he hears a song about himself, lusting after Lois Lane?  They were also one of my favourite bands when this issue came out, so my mind was doubly blown.
What is it with Lex hanging onto VHS tapes?  Thank God he never got his hands on that one of Big Barda! [Max: Dammit, I’d JUST managed to erase that from my mind, Don.]
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Chapter Three
The next morning, I had a little bit of a hangover. A fact that was made far worse by Carey’s insistent nagging about something, I wasn’t really listening. I was reading my emails and there was one from my agent confirming me for the ‘Game of Laughs’ show in November.
Deciding that twenty-four hours was long enough to spend with my sister, I got to the airport thirty minutes before I needed to be and went and hunted down a greasy breakfast for my hangover.
I was just sitting down to my hotcakes and hash browns from McDonalds when my phone rang, it was a number I didn’t recognize. Normally I wouldn’t have answered it as I was always wary of unfamiliar numbers, but I didn’t have anything else to do for the next hour before my flight, so even if it was a telemarketer I could listen while I ate my breakfast.
“Hello?” I asked as I pressed the phone to my ear.
“Hello, is this Bridgette?” asked a British voice.
“Speaking.” I said as I place a slice of hot cake into my mouth, I knew that voice…
“Hi, its Kit Harington.” He said.
“Kit!” I said, my voice going high in surprise, “Hey.” I said happily, “How are you holding up after last night?” I asked curiously as I thought of the last time I had seen him.
“Better than I deserve.” He said sighed, “I just wanted to call and say thanks for that last night.” He said seriously.
“Your welcome.” I smiled, though another question suddenly occurred to me, “How did you get my number?” I asked, I didn’t remember giving it to him.
“I got your agents number off Benioff and your agent gave it to me.” He explained.
I blinked in shock, “Wow. That was a lot of effort to go through.” I commented.
“Yeah well, I wanted to call and explain myself. I’m not normally like that.” He said seriously, “I feel like I’ve made a bad impression.”
“You really haven’t.” I smiled, “I enjoyed hanging out with you last night.” I assured him.
“Oh good.” He said sounding relieved, “Maybe we could do it again sometime?”
“Yeah sure.” I said as I spooned another mouthful of the hot cakes into my mouth.
“When are you next in London?” he asked.
“Oh.” I said in shock, he was serious? I thought he had just said we should meet up again out of politeness, I didn’t think he’d actually meant it, “I’m about to embark on a tour of America. I’ll be on a tour bus for the next month. Thirty shows in thirty-eight days.” I explained.
“Wow. That’s hectic.” He commented.
“Tell me about it.” I grumbled, “But I’m coming to Belfast in November for that show. So I should see you then.” I smiled.
“Oh yeah that’s right. That should be good.” He said happily.
“Yeah it should.” I agreed.
“So how’s your morning going?” he asked conversationally.
“It’s been ok. Had a little trouble with airport security as there is a deadly object in my carry-on.” I shrugged.
“What is it?”
“My Emmy.”
He laughed loudly, “That’s considered a deadly object?”
“Apparently.” I said dryly.
“No way. That thing isn’t even sharp. I don’t believe you.” He teased.
“Well it’s not like you have one, so you wouldn’t know.” I quipped.
He laughed again and I smiled at the sound.
“Tell me you at least have some sort of hang over.” He said pointedly.
“I am eating a greasy breakfast as we speak.” I told him.
“Best cure for a hangover.” He agreed, “But you can sure hold your drink.” He commented.
“I’m actually a little disappointed in your effort. I thought you poms knew how to drink.” I grinned.
“We do. You Australians are just inhuman.” He said seriously.
“Oh please! Isn’t Thrones filmed in Belfast? Those Irish must have taught you a few things about drinking.”
“Oh god. I remember the first time I went out drinking in Ireland. I actually got alcohol poisoning.” He revealed.
“Weak!” I laughed.
“They have this drink called Guinness that just messes you up.”
“I’ve never had Guinness. Is it any good?”
“God no! But the Irish love it.” He explained.
“Yeah I’ve dated an Irish guy, he used to drink this stuff that looked like tar.” I mused.
“Yeah that would be it.”
I didn’t reply as I grabbed my hash brown and took a bite.
“So what happened?” he asked.
“With what?” I asked through a mouthful of food.
“The Irish guy. You still with him?” he asked.
“God no. That turned pretty sour.” I recalled.
“That’s too bad.” He said sounding pleased.
“Not really. I got my revenge.” I smiled.
“Uh oh. What did you do?”
“Well, while the cheating scumbag was out surfing I stole his clothes. So he had to walk home in a wet suit in the freezing cold.” I explained.
“Wow. That’s brutal.”
“That’s not all I did.”
“Oh?”
“Well I went around and asked random hot guys to try on his shirt so I could take a picture of them in it. Then I mailed all the pictures and his clothes back to him.” I explained, “He cheated on me, so I wanted to show him the kind of guys I could move on with.”
“That’s pretty original I got to admit.”
“You impressed?”
“A little.” He revealed.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“So tell me more about this tour.” He prompted.
“It’s just your standard stand up show.” I dismissed, “I’ll be playing in little thousand seat theatres. Nothing too big.”
“Still impressive. Your own show.” He commented.
“I’m supposed to vlog about the whole experience.” I said dully.
“You sound thrilled.” He observed.
“It’s just not really my thing. It seems like a fame grab. They want me to like sit on a bus and talk about what goes into making the show and stuff.” I explained.
“Well that sounds interesting.”
“No it doesn’t. I’m going to come up with something far better. Something funny.”
“Well what does go into making a stand-up show?”
“Basically it’s just me thinking up material and then trying it out on people.”
He was silent for a moment, “That’s it?”
“Pretty much.” I shrugged, “See that’s boring? There is no way I could make a vlog series out of that. It took me like, two seconds to tell you.”
“What are you going to do instead?”
“I don’t know. Probably just me doing a bunch of funny stuff. I’ve got an entire plane ride to figure it out.” I smiled.
“I look forward to seeing it.”
“Enough about me.” I said, “Tell me what’s going on with you?”
“Nothing. Just heading back to Belfast to film the seventh season of Thrones.” He explained.
“You training for any fight sequences?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“Tell me about that. I always love seeing fight scenes, what goes into learning something like that? How do they choreograph it?”
As it turned out, Kit was quite happy to talk everything that went into making a fight scene while I ate my breakfast. Once I was done, I peppered him with questions about stunt doubles and rigs, if he minded he didn’t show it. It actually sounded like something he was quite interested in as he had such an in depth knowledge of it all.
“I’ve always wanted to do an action movie where I could do a cool fight scene and do my own stunts.” I revealed.
“It’s a lot of fun.”
“What’s been the hardest stunt you’ve ever done?”
“Well I think the most physically demanding stunts I’ve done was in my movie Pompei when I was playing a Gladiator. But the hardest stunt I think I’ve done was where I had to dive through a window and roll across the broken glass. That was tough because your instinct is to catch yourself with your hands when you fall like that, but you have to like, tuck your head under and practically hit the ground head first.” He explained.
“Oh god. That sounds complicated.”
“Not really. You do it enough in rehearsals that by the time it comes to film it your good to go.”
“Have you ever gotten injured?”
“Surprisingly no. They look after you very well.”
“Have you ever used a stunt double?”
“Yes actually.”
“What for? Was it something really dangerous?”
“Yes actually. Getting into a hot tub.”
I laughed, “What?”
“I had a broken ankle at the time and couldn’t jump into the little Jacuzzi they had set up, so I had a stunt double do it.” He explained.
I laughed loudly, “That is so funny.”
“The guy was naked too. So they didn’t call him my stunt double but my butt double.” He explained.
I cackled, in hysterics, “That is the funniest thing I have ever heard!”
“That, coming from a comedian, actually makes me feel better.” He said.
“Was his butt better than yours? Did he do your butt justice?” I giggled.
“Oh god, why did I tell you this? It’s so embarrassing.” He sighed.
“No this is great. If I ever do a nude scene I’m going to get a super model body double. It will be fabulous.” I said happily, “I can see it now, some lucky girl out there will be credited as playing ‘Bridgette Mendez’s Ass’. Like that’s a real claim to fame right there.”
He laughed, “Well glad I could help.”
“Wait, does that mean there is some guy out there that can be like ‘Yeah, I played Jon Snow’s ass’?” I asked curiously.
“His name is Steve and he’s actually a really nice guy.”
I laughed again, “Oh my god!” I said as I struggled for breath, “That’s amazing.”
“And he was credited as my double.” He told me.
“But he was your butt double.”
“Yes he was.” He sighed.
I laughed again “So apart from having a butt double you’ve never had a stunt double?”
“Nope. I do it all myself.”
“And why don’t you ever use a stunt double?”
“I don’t know. It feels like cheating. How can I be portraying a character accurately if someone else is doing half the work?” he questioned.
“That’s a good way to look at it. If my abysmal acting career ever requires me to do stunts, I’ll be sure to have them fire the stunt double.” I smiled.
“You know you’re the only person who thinks your acting is abysmal.” He said pointedly.
“Well if critics are to be believed, I’m a better actress than my sister and that’s all I care about.” I said happily.
“That sounds like a bit of sibling rivalry.” He commented.
“Sibling rivalry is cute. Ours is a fight to the death!” I said seriously.
He laughed.
“I’d just like to point out that she was a model and I was a comedian but the moment I tried acting, she had to try it too.” I said lightly, though it was a fact that still bugged me.
“So you did it first?”
“Yes. I believe that should count for something.”
He laughed again.
“What about you? Do you have siblings?”
“One. An older brother, John.”
“He drive you crazy like mine does?”
“Yes, but in a different way.”
“How so?”
“Well we don’t compete career wise. We more compete with girls. Who has the better girl, the hotter girl. It’s stupid.” He dismissed.
“You’re talking to a girl who is paid to have conversations with a fake monkey. I no longer believe in stupid.” I said pointedly.
He laughed loudly.
“You must win that competition now though.” I mused.
“What makes you think that?”
“Well, you know a lot of celebrities. They are notoriously good looking people. You could just bring a Victoria Secret model home and you’d win.”
“I think you’ll find most models are taller than me.” He said.
I laughed loudly.
“And it’s not just about looks. Their personalities matter as well.”
“What? Guys actually care about a girls personality? I’m shocked!” I mocked.
“No its true.” He laughed.
“Next you’ll tell me big foot is real.”
“Oh he is!”
“I knew it!”
We laughed at our banter.
“I would love to continue chatting but my flight is boarding.” I said regretfully.
“Alright, I’ll talk to you later. Have a good flight.”
“Thanks. You too.”
Hanging up, I headed to my gate feeling a little bemused. If someone had told me when I woke up this morning that I would spend a good hour on the phone with Kit Harington, I wouldn’t have believed them, yet that was exactly what had happened.
Funny how life worked out sometimes.
                                                                …
When I arrived in New York, I was surprised to find there was a message from Kit on my phone when I turned it back on.
I frowned in confusion when I saw it was a picture, which he had captioned with ‘We made headlines. Sorry about that.’
Confused, I clicked on the image to see it was a screen shot of an article by TMZ entitled ‘Emmy Hook Ups; Kit Harington and Bridgette Mendez.’
“What?” I said aloud in shock.
Several people turned to look at me as I made my way to baggage claim but I didn’t care. I quickly googled the article and it came up with not only an article by TMZ but a blurry photo of Kit and myself sitting at a table together talking. There was one where he was laughing and then another one where I was laughing.
Or I think I was laughing, my eyes were closed and my mouth was open. I could have been mid sneeze as far as the picture went.
I wasn’t even paying attention to the baggage carousel as I stared at my phone intensely to read the article.
 ‘Game of Thrones Heart Throb Kit Harington seems to be over ex Rose Leslie, as he reportedly spent the majority of the Emmy’s after party with funny girl and Emmy winner, Bridgette Mendez.
Reports indicate that the two looked quite chummy as they sat at a table talking for most of the night.
‘Kit had eyes for only her. Plenty of girls were trying to make a play for him but he spent the whole night talking to her. She was making him laugh and smile.’ An eyewitness testifies, ‘She’s just his type. Kit likes a girl who doesn’t care about his fame and can bring a smile to his face and she certainly did that.’
So Mr. Harington may not have won an Emmy last night, but he may have won the heart of the Australian darling, Bridgette Mendez, who was apparently loving the attention he showed her.
‘She was smiling the whole night and even managed to take him for a whirl on the dance floor.’ Our source reports.
We’ve dubbed this couple ‘Brit.’
 I blinked in shock, I hadn’t been an Emmy winner for five minutes and I was already getting relationship rumours? My fame had clearly reached more heights than I had expected.
Still grinning in amusement, I text Kit back ‘I’m framing that article.’
It only took the time of me collecting my luggage and getting in my Uber for him to reply from him, which consisted of a smiling emoji and the word ‘Lol’.
I simply smiled in response.
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Her
I want to explain how I ended up here alone. Living in jasper is like peter pans never land. Adults don't grow up there and nothing seems like real life. I introduced myself to her while we were working together as "****** - I'm kind of an asshole" It was November something, her name is *****. Adorable, shy, small, with the biggest smile. We both worked and live at FJPL. A little scattered for the story - I get drunk and message people. Things I don't take seriously but it makes me seem like a scumbag. Sorry back to it. I saw her at the B, I said 'you're a babe' - she turns around and started making out with some guy. That's okay though it's jasper. Sunday night. That's the reason to go out. I get home and drunkenly message her on Facebook (stalked?). Saying something along the lines of she's cute and should come spoon. There goes me drunk messaging a girl. She messaged back something very bitchy and short. Thought nothing of it. Wednesday night comes along, at the downstream. I started drinking when I was 25, I don't see the point in social drinks but only to drink to get drunk. And I get as drunk as I can. She's there, pulls me aside. Or I pull her aside. I think I kiss her first. It's nearly 2 am - the bars are calling for last drinks. She leaves. She messages me a little later 15/20 mins. Saying she's at macs and I should follow her. Why? You just left without saying anything and I'm just going to drink and go home. It was only about 5 mins after I haven't responded to her 'follow me' text, I feel a tugging on my t-shirt. It's her as I turn around. She said 'grab your jacket we're going home'. I wake up next to her in my place the next morning. We have sex. Really good sex. I'm so comfortable with her. She's so hot. We lay there until noon just spooning. It gets blurry in between some parts so I'm not sure about dates but I remember everything we ever did. We start hanging out a lot. It was winter and just after CIN. She invites me to go look for a canyon that she wants to ice climb. We drive down maligne road with snowshoes looking for somewhere to park and the trail head. We hike a little I can sense she wanted me to kiss her. She's leading the way and stops. Turns around, at this point I know I should kiss her. We did. It was the first time we kissed sober it was our first date. She's adorable. I followed her up the side of a mountain we talked the whole time about whatever. It didn't matter. We hang out a lot - smoke weed eat food and have some of the most amazing sex I've ever experienced. Sometime in December it got extremely slow at work. I had 13 days off and I think she had 6 days off. I was doing laundry and she was with me. Just sitting there talking about all the time we have off and how cold it is here. She she wanted to go on a road trip and not be bored sitting around in jasper. I felt the same way, so I mentioned California! We laughed a little and talked about it in a semi joking way. But in about 4 hours we had our passports and some luggage packed to drive! It was crazy. The middle of winter, no plans, no where to stay, such little money. But we were driving to California. She doesn't like not having a plan The first night I was suggesting sleeping wherever and we could sleep in the back of her car. Because who cares. We are there together and can keep each other warm. We keep driving, get to Oregon, Portland. We end up going to a head shop. Getting edibles and too much weed. I remember the guy saying 'only have one square' they were stuck together and She thought it was one piece. This is the first time I've done edibles. We eat one square. And start walking around town. We get some bread and groceries. The edible hasn't hit. We get hungry, both wanting something ethnic. We find Thai! Order our food (meanwhile. It's snowing a lot. But nothing too severe, the waitress is talking to another co-worker about how they might have to close up for the night). Just before we get out food the edible hits me. I can't stop looking at her face, her eyebrows, smile. The toque she's wearing looks so cute on her. I hit my head off the window frame. Laugh a bit and realise the edible has struck. We continue driving for the night after rolling a joint of 'wonder goo'. Pretty smart idea. I'm driving along this highway that's abandoned. Cars are parked everywhere, people are walking, accidents. They aren't prepared for the snow. She has good winter tires. And I'm a very good driver. I drive through everyone with ease make it to a secondary highway and remember I'm driving! (The week and edible have me in la la land - I knew it wasn't a smart idea). I said this to Her. We laugh about it with 😐 face. It turns out it was snowmageddon that we drove though. Thousands of vehicles stranded. Hundreds of accidents. But us being Canadian and retardedly high. Managed to drives though it and the night to our next stop. We were in the tip of the redwood forest. At a national park. I think one or two other people were there. At this point we are showering and just trying to stay warm together. We went for a little walk in the morning. She's so small, cute, sexy. Her skin is soft. Her lips are perfect. There's a man showering when we get back and see about to brush our teeth. He sounds crazy haha. We move spots and lock the doors although we are just brushing our teeth. We are leaving and this man is flipping his wet hair back out of his face and takes off like her stole the vehicle he's driving. 5 mins later we are driving towards San Fran. Over the radio we hear a description of the same looking vehicle and man - from the park. Saying he has stole it. We aren't sure if it's just a huge coincidence or not. But both laugh and keep driving. I should mention we have 6 days to travel from Jasper Alberta Canada to downtown San Francisco. And get back for her to work. We are in farmland now. Southern Portland. Almost to the coast, the scenery is amazing. The company is better. At one point we drive through a movie set - they are getting ready for what looked like a chase scene. All of a sudden we are on the coast. The drive is unbelievable. The trees the smell of everything. Small towns and windy roads. We a driving and she spots a oyster farm/ restaurant just in the middle of nowhere. We both love food probably an unhealthy amount. We easily convince each other to turn around, go back and 'check things out'. It turns out the oyster spot is 'Hog Island Oyster Co'. We get a dozen naked and half a dozen or 4? of their BBQ - which was recommended by the staff. The naked were up first. And are literally the best thing I've ever tasted. And then the BBQ come. I never thought a BBQ'd oyster would be the best oyster I've ever had. But holy shit, that's the best thing I've ever ate. We set off to San Fran. Head straight downtown with nowhere to stay. No idea what we are actually there for. She's looking for somewhere to stay for the best price for the next two nights. I look for Fairmont prices but I can't book destinations- too full. She finds a hostel on the edge of China town. Right above a few strip clubs. For around 270 usd for the two nights. We do the tourist thing. Have crab at the harbour walk for ages. Wonder what we are doing and were thinking to be there! It was so fun. Later that night we go out for dinner. We end up at a seafood/ pasta place with a pretty big wait time. I think we chose it because of that - it must be good, right? So we wonder around and find a record shop (I had pictures of these places but reset my phone without backing it up to unlock it and get an Australian number - I'll explain soon). This place is amazing. Over 50000 records in this basement. I ended up grabbing Cheech and Chongs 'Big Bambu' record for 15 bucks. We had dinner, it was lack lustre but good. I could eat shit beside her and still think it's okay. As long as it was with her. I would always squeeze from the base of her fingers to the tips, thumb through to pinky on each hand. And touch her nose when it was cold. We headed black to the hostel. Smoked a joint and again, had the best sex of my life. Every motion I made was with purpose. It wasn't sex, it was love. We would always talk about the funniest things when we got high. This night she made a funny noise. I mimicked her 6 times in a row back and we laughed about it for 20 minutes. I loved her hips, stomach, butt, laughter. He skin. The next day was more of doing things just to do them. While we were there. Except around dinner time. We out on our fancy clothes ( I think I wore dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt haha ). Got dinner at this really funky place that was playing really loud hip hop. Now that I'm replaying this back in my head. I remember having my cheech and Chong record with me at this place. So one of the two nights I bought the record. It's not important which night. We have dinner, it's really good. A couple of drinks. On the way back to the hostel we both kind of want to keep the party going a little. So we get a Micky of spiced rum and a bottle of wine. (I'm pretty sure she wanted to go out and listen to live music and have drinks in a more social setting.) but we head back to the hostel. Drink everything we bought, got a little high. We start talking about us, our futures, deep and meaningfuls. She then starts to tell me about her past. And how I should know some things about her and she's worried I'm going to find out and judge her, not like her. But I like to think I'm a very considerate person, I would never judge her. I know only what I've experienced with her and it's been unforgettable. She tells me about two times in her life where men have hurt her. (I'm laying in bed wondering if I should write down what she told me - but I know later on in this story, if I don't, none of this will make sense). When she was young, a man sexually assaulted her, he was a friend of her fathers and she's repressed the memory. And when's she was in her late teens she was raped and got pregnant from it. Was seeing someone at the time, he made her get an abortion. Also a repressed memory. But as she's telling me this. She's laying beside me, we are face to face, she's crying. I wipe her tears away and let her know I would never hurt her in anyway. He face is glowing she's beautiful. I took a picture of her at this moment, I don't have it anymore because of the phone thing. I wish I could look at it right now. All of the pictures I took of her laying beside me. I'm going to continue this. It's all true. It's what and how I remember it.
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