#he's about surviving; living through something and taking the experiences as an opportunity to know yourself more and create your own agency

[ah-bee-blogs]

I have been thinking about the shifting dynamic between Qian and Yuan all week. A ton of people have written really insightful posts about these two, and I can’t get them off my mind.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again: the tragic backstory is not used as a shock factor or just to make you sympathetic towards a character. It is ingrained into Qian and Yuan’s thoughts, behaviors, actions, and responses. And it contributes to their compelling relationship.

Qian is hesitant around intimacy of any kind. Yuan is eager to care for the person who saved him.

We’ve seen from the beginning how much of a caretaker Yuan is for Qian. The vast majority of intimate physical contact Qian accepts is from Yuan (and by intimate I don’t mean romantic. I mean familiar, personal, etc.).

Qian rarely ventures beyond surface level relationships with people. His experiences growing up left him in a constant state of survival. He focuses on work as a means of survival and doesn’t consider slowing down as an option.

We see this at work, where he is often separated from his coworkers and rarely interacting with them outside of a professional capacity. He often stays late and arrives early at the expense of his own wellbeing.

It’s Yuan who bridges the gap. Who asks coworkers to take care of his brother. Who makes Qian sleep and eat right. Who is there at work and at home ensuring that Qian won’t overwork and exhaust himself.

But their relationship is not one-sided. Qian takes care of Yuan as well, making sure he’s able to take advantage of academic opportunities and clubs and things that Qian never had a chance to partake in. He gives Yuan a life where survival is a guarantee, not something to earn.

Qian protects Yuan through hard work. Yuan protects Qian through tender care.

When Yuan is sent away to study abroad, the time skip works because it isn’t used at the very end of the series to jump to happily ever after. Too often, time skips force us to miss important character growth and leave us unsatisfied and wanting more. By placing the time skip towards the middle of the series and using it as an actual part of the story and character development, we are able to see how Qian and Yuan live during the separation and the impact it has on their relationship.

And their reunion is more than one scene before the credits roll. There’s still many episodes for them to keep learning and growing together.

Once Yuan returns, the line between them has shifted. Qian actively seeks out Yuan’s care in a way he never did before. He’s always watching Yuan, reaching out for him, and aware of his presence. He had always welcomed it, but the separation forced him to feel what the absence of Yuan’s care was like. He was miserable.

Yuan matured on his own and still knows that he loves Qian. Being away only confirmed what he already knew. And Qian is starting to realize that he loves Yuan too.

Yuan knows exactly where the boundary is between them, but he’ll let Qian be the one to break it down. They have complex relationship, and it is being respected, not rushed. Moments are earned, not pulled randomly from the trope bucket.

#gahhh I could write about this series all day #everything is so intentional #so much thought and passion went into this series #unknown the series #unknown the series meta #unknown the series analysis #unknown bl #yuan x qian #qian x yuan #unknown #taiwanese bl #ah bee writes

[watchtowerindistress]

(how) to hunt a hunter - sergei kravinoff x fem!reader

Summary: Kraven the Hunter was a myth equal to the Boogeyman. So the prestigious offer to hunt the legendary hunter sounded insane yet like a blast. Who were you as a Black Widow to say ‘no’ to that?

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: blood, violence, sexual tension, language, consumption of alcohol

Author’s note: Don’t judge me for inserting another Black Widow character again. 🤣 I thought it’d be fun to not go the typical route of Sergei hunting you, but you hunting him. Seriously, what is up with this trope, guys? I’m getting out of my hiatus which is rough and I want to just create something fun and not like a full-blown series. I apologize, I’m better with witty dialogue than fighting scenes, I’m terribly sorry. 😅

If you followed my we all have our secrets series, there’s a character who gets a slightly more prominent role in this one-shot than the mere mention. You know, I’m getting Morbius vibes from the trailer, but I guess it’s going be fun? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Read me on AO3

You wiped the damp layer off the mirror and winced at what you saw.

Your battered reflection was staring back at you. You shook your head and even that movement of your wet hair stroking the side of your neck irritated the scrapes and bruises even further.

Needing to breathe through the pain, you exhaled through your mouth, leaning forward on your elbows against the edges of the wash basin. 

Wrath was burning in your eyes when you glared at your reflection. The broken blood vessel of your eye was a sore reminder of the absolute failure of a mission.

The blue eyes of Sergei Kravinoff shone on the display of your laptop to reveal your target. You hummed before gazing through the binoculars on the roof of the hotel you to keep track of the infamous Kraven.

Killing him would certainly be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Who could even say that about themselves?

Your phone alerted you to a new call coming in. Almost casually you took it without glancing at the screen. Your eyes were glued to the outside surroundings.

“Kind of in the middle of something,” you said with a bored voice.

“So it was you who took the assignment?”

You sighed. Your wrist almost dropped the field glass at hearing Talia’s voice.

“Did I take it away from you?”

A mirthful chuckle reverberated through the loud speaker. “No, I’m not that desperate to face the Hunter.”

Your eyes glanced sideways at that tidbit of information. “Is that fear? Didn’t know that the infamous White Widow was afraid of anything.”

“Not fear. Just a boring survival instinct.”

A pause lingered in the air.

“What is it for you? The prestige? Something fun?”

“Maybe I like a challenge.” 

Talia’s voice turned severe to warn you of the danger. “Trust me on this. This man is no joke. He’s going to enjoy tearing you apart.”

“You sound like you’re talking from experience.”

Talia exhaled. “I knew his father. That family isn’t something to be trifled with. But no, if I want to rupture my lung, I’d rather do it on my own terms. But I also know I can’t stop you if you set your mind to something. All I can offer you are my contacts on sight, wherever you are.”

“No, thank you.” You chuckled. “And don’t pretend like you don’t even know where I am.”

“What can I say? I can’t reveal all my secrets. Stubborn to a fault,” Talia grumbled under her breath. “But I didn’t tell you the whole truth. About Kraven. He’s more animal than man. An absolute savage, mark my words, dushka.” [darling]

“Warning accepted. And to answer your question. It’s a challenge. That’s why I’m doing it.”

“He’d be more than just a challenge.”

“I’m counting on it.”

The unpredictability of this target revealed itself soon enough when Kravinoff didn’t seem to have a single pattern. It was confounding. People had patterns to orient themselves in their daily lives.

You didn’t understand it.

So, the fact that he entered a hotel bar raised your suspicions even more. It wasn’t your ideal preference with the amount of exit strategies the location offered. With wary eyes, you strolled towards the bar, instantly recognizing the broad shoulders clothed in a white dress shirt.

You sighed. This was truly bad. But it wouldn’t be the first time your cover was blown before the job could even start. A curious glance towards the amount of glasses behind the barkeeper made you smirk though.

Kravinoff slightly turned his head the closer you got before you finally sat on the stool, without any space separating you two. If the target was aware of the oncoming hit, then it didn’t matter keeping up pretences.

He pulled the amber-filled tumbler to his lips. “You want to have a drink before we get started? It’s on me.” If the file didn’t give it away before, the accent certainly revealed his Russian heritage.

“Sure. I love to celebrate.” You pointed a finger in the air and motioned for the barkeeper with a “I’ll have what he’s having, neat. Keep the bottle.”

Kravinoff snorted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “That’s funny. Already certain of your victory?”

You watched the barkeeper pour two fingers into your glass before he wandered away. “Just enjoying myself during work.” You sipped a bit and instantly hummed from the smoky taste in your mouth.

Kravinoff raised an eyebrow. “You like?”

You shrugged. “You seem to have taste when it comes to certain refreshments.”

The man grunted at your sarcastic dig which satisfied you if you couldn’t use the moment of surprise to your advantage.

Kravinoff twirled his glass between his fingers. “Who sent you?” he inquired throatily.

“What? No foreplay?”

He slowly turned in his seat until his legs were spread and he was facing you head-on. His eyes were burning with intensity. In any other situation you would have deemed him beautiful in a gruff way. Kravinoff remained sullen and quiet, waiting for you to speak.

You rolled your eyes, knocking back your drink. “You’re no fun. Perhaps I intend to play with my prey before I have to kill it.”

His mouth twisted into a sinister smirk. “You think I’m your prey?” The last word sounded like he tasted something nasty on his tongue. 

“Don’t insult me, pet.”

You furrowed your brows at the mention of that so-called term of endearment.

Kravinoff lazily laced his fingers together. “So, what are you? Regular mercenary? HYDRA agent? Talon?”

“Widow.”

Kravinoff tilted his head at that one word in intrigue. “Hmm. It’s an honor-”

Something akin to pride or satisfaction lingered in your stomach.

“-to kill you.”

You clenched your jaw at the self-assurance in his voice. “Well, in that case…” You dared to steal Kravinoff’s drink, just to one-up him for that arrogance of his.

“… give it your best shot, sweetheart.”

Before he could even attack you, you hit his larynx with the side of your hand.

Kravinoff omitted a pained grunt, shielding his throat. He jumped from his chair.

You broke his tumbler on the counter, slashing Kravinoff’s neck.

With an animalistic growl and burning eyes, he seized your neck, smashing your face against the counter. Something like a creak resounded underneath you with the force.

A whimper left your lips. You felt something sharp on your temple.

In one swift move, Kravinoff slid your head along the counter. Something wet trickled down the side of your face. You hissed at the sensation of glass shards against your skin.

You kneed the back of his knee, managing to subdue him and jump him until your legs wound around his neck, making him groan with your choking move.

Your balance shifted as Kravinoff tried to shake you off by grabbing your hips. Trying to take him by surprise and to throw him off his game, you jabbed your fingers into his eyeballs.

With a snarl, he rushed forward against the counter. You groaned in pain at the hardwood.

God, you were starting to hate this assignment.

You were starting to get used to Kravinoff’s burning eyes branding holes into you instead.

“Stop choking me.” There was something horrifying yet fascinating about his ocean blue eyes switching into amber-colored ones. The kind that hypnotized you and rendered you frozen.

“Kinda defeats the purpose of killing you,” you hissed as a retort. Although it certainly delighted you at seeing Kravinoff’s face getting red.

Almost in keeping you at suspense, he slowly yanked out a hunting knife from behind his back and making you grimace in return. There was something about his eyes that revealed what he wasn’t saying.

Seeing no way out of this without getting utterly mutilated by this hunter, you stretched out your arm behind you and grabbed a broken glass. You would learn to fight another day.

Kravinoff winced and eyed his shin darkly.

Without losing any time for him to fight back in retaliation, you pushed against his chest with your feet, making him fall back.

Knowing that the moment he would look up, you had already run.

“I heard you had an eventful day yesterday.”

The humorous statement drew a weary sigh from your lips. Your fingers clenched around the steering wheel at the mere reminder of the mission. Although you didn’t need it since there was nothing that could make you forget with every glance in the mirror or every movement of your muscles.

You inhaled deeply. “You know, it’s funny, when you were dead, the phone remained silent. Now I can’t get rid off you.”

“Allegedly dead. And don’t pretend. You crave our little talks.”

“You here to gloat?”

“Only when it’s warranted. I thought I told you he was dangerous. That’s on you—underestimating a man like him.”

You scoffed in derision. A man like him. “You’re probably right. At least I survived. Who else can say that?”

Your speaker phone remained silent.

You held your breath. “What’s wrong?”

“Kraven has a tendency to kill the people he sets his mind to. So the fact that you’re still alive worries me. He didn’t mention his death list, did he?”

Something moved uncomfortably in your stomach at the concept of an assassin following a list. You licked your lips, remembering how his eyes turned golden. A supernatural hunter trying to kill you wasn’t on your to-do list.

You parked your car in the garage of your safe house before you sped up the stairs.

“No, although there wasn’t a lot of time for talking, if you know what I mean.” You felt the civil conversation at the beginning would make the White Widow only insinuate how you had let your guard down, but you would disagree.

“I’m just saying, Kraven can find anyone, so you better be on your guard.”

A groan left your lips when you inspected the lock on your door, letting your head fall forward. “This isn’t happening,” you muttered in disbelief under your breath. “Got to run,” you called out.

“Don’t die,” Talia sang as a goodbye and half a reminder before hanging up.

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, thanks for the warning,” you grumbled to yourself before you inhaled through your nose in preparation. With your gun placed at the back of your belt and your Widow Bites switched on. Silently, you opened the door and pointed your wrist to the floor. Nothing, so far.

“I’m curious, how would you like to die?” you hollered through the apartment. “Any preferences? I should have asked the last time.” You studiously searched every room, knowing he was in here somewhere.

“How considerate,” Kraven’s sarcastic reply came closer than expected. “Not here to kill you.”

You scoffed loudly. “Yes, right. I’ll believe that when I see it,” you whispered.

Finally, you found him. With his back turned towards you and his arms behind his back, taking in his surroundings. You didn’t trust it one bit that someone like him would be vulnerable like that. Kraven’s figure in the kitchen almost made it seem to small with his dominating presence taking up all of the space. You reluctantly applauded that gall of his for invading your space like that and to make a surprise attack like that.

“You changed your shirt,” you observed quietly, taking in his casual shirt, despite there not being anything casual about him. “The other one too bloody for you?”

Humor was laced in his voice as he slowly turned around, sending you a daring glance. “Observant little spider. Just want to talk.”

The guffawing sound coming out of your throat awkwardly switched to a cough. “Sorry, that—I don’t know where that came from.”

“I’m curious what other sounds I can elicit from those lips.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at the blatant flirting. If that could be considered flirting since it felt more like a hit from a sledgehammer. Very direct and hard to get away from. Typical Russian.

You clenched your hand behind your back. Talia couldn’t fault you for staying on your guard. “And I’m wondering about your noises when I do this-”

You pointed your wrist at him, watching in satisfaction at the electric jolt shooting through his chest. Kraven groaned in pain before sending you a dark glare at your own insolence.

“I was trying to have a normal conversation. You know, trying something new. You make this really hard though.”

You frowned at his ability to talk or even standing upright as you sauntered over to a close cabinet. With calm movements, you attached a silencer to your gun, not needing any more unwanted guests.

“I’m not really interested in talking after our last conversation, you know-”

Your wind was knocked out of you when something pushed into you, making you crash to the floor. You gasped when the back of your head bumped against the wooden floor. Shaking your head, you sent him a thunderous expression. “Now that’s my kind of conversation,” you hissed before you swung your thighs around his neck, squeezing with all your might.

Kraven grunted, closing his eyes. With sudden movements, he stood up and the next thing you knew was that he had pushed you against the wall, making you groan from the sudden impact.

Between your legs, you felt him puff out in breaths, “You know, not that I’m complaining, but I think I’m starting to get used to that.”

His flirty tone of voice made you look down in reluctance to discover him humming contently between your thighs. Spite made you squeeze even tighter and punch against his shoulders with your elbows.

“Stop with your pointy elbows,” Kraven hissed in warning.

“Stop invading my safe house, Kraven svolotsch!” [scumbag]

Your eyes widened when Kraven moved backwards and threw you onto your back as you both fell to the floor. He seemed to have a thing for knocking the wind out of you.

“What did you just call me?” he exhaled next to you.

“You heard me,” you whispered in return, trying to catch your breath.

“You know, I do love our conversations,” Kraven murmured reverently.

“What do you want?” you finally asked in disappointment.

“Now, you want to talk?”

“Now I want you out,” you exhaled tiredly.

“You wound me, pet.”

“Stop calling me that.”

Kraven sighed, slowly sitting up. “Who paid you?”

You opened your eyes, uncertain about his intentions. “Then you’ll kill me?”

Kraven raised his eyebrows, almost like he couldn’t believe you even uttering those words to him. “One less Spider in this world would be a pity. Tell me their name and I’ll reimburse you for your troubles. This, I promise you.”

You inhaled deeply, not knowing if Kraven was the kind to keep his oaths. “Or what?”

“These people are going to kill you if you don't deliver, unless you’re interested in a third run?” Kraven raised his eyebrows in challenge. Probably for some reason sharing the same opinion as you.

“Maybe I haven’t decided yet,” you teased as you leaned on your arm while your hand reached for his thigh which sustained the injury during your last altercation.

Kraven narrowed his eyes with his tilting head in consideration. “Uh, what are you doing?” he whispered hoarsely.

You clenched your jaw. Something wasn’t right, you thought, as you let your fingernails stubbornly search for the cut on his leg.

Kraven swallowed before he cleared his throat. “Why are you stroking my leg? Is this some sort of Soviet seduction technique I didn’t know about?”

There wasn’t an injury. Your heart was racing in your chest at the implication of it.

“What are you?”

Silence enveloped you two. Kraven stared at you in contemplation. “Tit for tat, Spider.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes and stood up to stretch your legs. “I don’t know their name. It didn’t matter. He only called himself the Benefactor.”

“Mysterious,” Kraven grumbled behind you.

“Drink?”

“Without poison, if it’s possible.”

You turned your body to reveal the fakest smile you could muster for him. “Only for you, sweetheart.”

“Oh, you treat me too well,” Kraven purred while cocking his head. “So, how does he contact you?”

“Encrypted connection via messaging server.” You offered a shot of vodka for him to take.

“Tell him to meet.” Pushing the brown locks away from his face, he threw back his drink.

“Well,…” You mulled over his offer. “…there’s only one choice to make. How do you feel about dying?” you inquired, putting the glass to your lips.

You tapped your fingers against arm, waiting for the stop of the descent of the cargo elevator. All the while ignoring the stares of two other henchmen standing next to you.

Someone cleared their throat. “Are you like the real deal?”

You pursed your lips at the awkwardness of it all, being in the lair of the so-called Benefactor and being surrounded by fanboys. It was strange. Usually, you were used to people being terrified of your past. Like they couldn’t fathom the possibility of an assassin walking among them. Or that they’d rather didn’t see you being part of society.

“No, I just like dressing up,” you replied dryly, sending them a smirk over your shoulder. “You want me to turn on my batons?”

“Can we take a selfie?”

You considered that for a few seconds before shrugging. “Sure. You want to get the body bag too?”

“Is there really a body in there?”

“What can I say? Needed something large in size to fit the dude.”

Both seemed speechless for a second and made up their minds. “Neat. Come on, huddle together.”

You tilted your head, making a peace sign with your fingers before the camera made the sound of a snapshot. “Nice.”

“Thanks so much.”

You cleared your throat. “My pleasure. Until next time, fellas.” Your fingers made a saluting sign before the doors opened to signal your destination. “Got to deliver something,” you muttered before you wandered down the hallways of the complex.

You had to hand it to those villains. They certainly had the extravagant taste for the finer things in life such as a hidden lair for your base of operations. You turned the corner when the HQ became visible down a set of stairs. Judging by the set of computers and a few people strolling around, tending to their tasks.

In the center of the base a man stood. There was something about him that compelled your vigilance. You trusted your deepest instincts that told you that you were dealing with the Benefactor of all people.

You did a double-take towards the set of stairs, mumbling to yourself, “Huh, that’s a lot of stairs.”

Almost like your voice carried over to him, the man turned around, staring right at you. “Welcome. It’s an honor to be in the presence of a Black Widow.”

Your body tensed before you took a deep breath while carrying the body bag down the stairs, being mindful of every thunk as you descended.

“If you say so.” Your curious gaze met his. There was something about him that felt familiar. The man appeared in his late 60’s and wore an aviator jacket with the lapel lined with fur. “Have we met before?”

The Benefactor cleared his throat. “I don’t think so. Is that the package?”

You narrowed your eyes at the dismissal. “Depends. Are you the Benefactor?”

He smirked when he lowered his head. “Sometimes.”

You placed your hands on your waist, dropping the body bag fully to the floor. “Very cloak and dagger,” you mused. “And to answer to your question: no. I just carry my accessories in there. Really practical if you know what I mean.”

The staring between the Benefactor and you lingered far longer than you expected it would.

Then he smiled widely.

“You’re funny.”

“I haven’t been called that before,” you surmised before you dragged the bag closer to him and pulled down the zipper until it ended around his middle.

The Benefactor hummed curiously and leaned forward until he could really see him. “Hmmm, he looks really fresh,” he replied as an observation.

What?

“I’m sorry?”

“The injuries on his face, I mean. There were stories about him, you know. Is it true that he can regenerate?”

Was he trying to mount him on a wall, or something? Or what was it about this talk of admiration?

Your gaze wandered around in scepticism at this strange diversion. “What kind of supervillain are you?” you asked with a hoarse voice.

The Benefactor chuckled under his breath. “I wouldn’t call myself super, not yet. But I have plans.”

“Hmm, don’t we all.”

He clapped his hands together, like you had just rejuvenated his spirits. “How hard was it to kill him?”

You stared at him calmly, knowing what was about to happen. “I think you know the answer to that,” you whispered ominously.

“Yes, I think I do.” Something glimmered in his eyes which gave you the incentive to turn on your Batons with their red glare.

Kraven’s eyes opened.

Ever so dramatic, you thought, as you inwardly rolled your eyes.

You didn’t gave away any warning before you doused the whole facility into complete darkness. There were gasps around you from the sudden blackout. Instead you turned off your Batons and switched over to your blades.

Something growled in the dark before you saw those golden eyes, like some sort of harbinger.

“You wanted me. Now here I am,” Kraven hissed menacingly.

“There’s no need for violence. I just wanted to see what would happen.”

“Okay,” you exhaled loudly. “Now watch this happen,” you promised sinisterly and threw the first blade.

Someone shrieked in shock when the knife pierced their leg. “Oh my—Goddammit!”

“Finish this, Kraven. I’m starving.”

You heard something powering up. With every second passing, a mechanical sound echoed in the air before something set into place. You turned your head just when night vision goggles jerkily snapped in your direction.

You suppressed a shiver and opted for the (more) silent tactic, swinging the baton around before shooting electricity through it at the last second.

Someone grunted before they fell to the floor.

“We don’t have all day, by the way. What’s taking so long?” you hollered and jerked back when the thrusters of an exo-suit flew past. “What the hell?”

“I know what I’m doing,” Kraven exhaled, hovering in the air, somewhere near the ceiling. “You deal with your henchmen and I’ll take care of this one.”

The alarm deafened your ears before red lights pulsed rhythmically into the dark, giving you the opportunity to watch—wait a second—the Vulture pressing Kraven against the wall.

“Are you sure?”

“Is this concern I’m hearing?” Kraven growled inhumanly before wrestling against like a rabid animal, tearing with all his might against one of the wings.

“If you want to fight the Vulture, be my guest.” You turned your head and watched in suspension as a new group of henchmen ran inside.

“Oh hey, fanboys!” you called out, waving a hand in greeting at the familiar faces.

They looked uncertainly at each other before one whispered to the other, “I don’t want to fight the Black Widow.”

“If it’s any consolation, if Kraven hadn’t taken so long, we would’ve been out of here already, so…” You twirled your batons in the air. “I’m not really giving you a choice, fellas.”

~Kraven POV~

Kraven was done with this bird man. He didn't mind heights, but this Vulture was messing with his good nature. The thruster’s engine made spluttering noises the longer his fingers viciously tore at it.

“This is all just a big misunderstanding.”

Kraven sneered at the pilot. “Tell that to me a few days ago when you tried to have me killed. Sending a Widow after me? Seems pretty clear to me,” he hissed with venom in his voice.

“Let go of the wing and we’ll talk.”

“The time for conversations is over, ptashka.” Feeling the itching in his fingers, he yanked out his hunting knife, ready to strike and not caring that they would fall several meters to the ground. [birdie]

“Okay, fine.”

Kraven frowned in anger when he was instead pushed, making him land on all fours.

Vulture’s landing was a bit inept, with the wing's engine sputtering. His arms were raised.

“Cease fire for now?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Kraven exhaled unevenly, feeling wrath still bubbling under the surface, sending you an expression of aggravation over his shoulder. Hoping you would understand not to cross Vulture for now without speaking.

“Can’t make any promises for her though,” Kraven mentioned casually while pointing towards you, like he was discussing the weather.

Thankfully, you fastened your batons at your back again.

“It was an invitation,” Vulture explained vaguely. “A test if you will. To join our circle.”

“Recruitment?” Kraven was getting bored already - this wasn’t really tickling his fancy. He raised an eyebrow with a sneer. “Not interested in joining anyone’s club. I have my own agenda to follow. I'm not bending towards anyone’s rules.”

“We respect your … hunts if you will.”

“We?”

“A collection of people who have been wronged. Like-minded people such as yourself. We could use someone like you who loves the thrill of the hunt. Because that’s what you do, right? You absolutely live for it. To hunt your prey until it grows tired.”

Kraven hummed noncommittally. Not sure yet of this secret club. But this bird man certainly could appeal to his baser nature. “I’ve reached a decision.”

Vulture tilted his head in fascination, but didn’t reveal his eyes behind those goggles.

“I won’t kill you … yet. For drawing me out like that. But you have aggravated me with your little games by making me neglect my work.” With every sentence, Kraven took a step forward, needing to drive home that he could kill them for their impertinence. “So, I’m going to take off and then I’ll debate with myself if I should drop by in the future. Be thankful if I don’t.”

He turned away, knowing with absolute clarity that they wouldn’t be stopped.

“Not even curious?” Vulture called from behind him, trying to dangle one last temptation.

“Too busy.”

“Even for a spider?”

Kraven clenched his jaw in agitation as he stopped in his tracks. And there went wrath all over again. His gaze met yours.

And there he thought he wouldn’t have to kill anyone.

Kraven turned his body, unable to stop the clenching of his fists. “Come again?”

“Oh, not this one,” he said, waving a hand at you. “I wouldn’t dare cross a potential asset.”

“Not interested,” you negated with absolute certainty.

Vulture shook his head. “Not interested … too busy.” With careful movements he took off his night vision goggles. “I thought it could interest you to hunt a certain … Spiderman.”

Tagging: @mellowstatesmanhandsempath​ @ravenmoore14​ @blackmagicwoman

#steph writes #watchtowerindistress #kraven the hunter x reader #kraven x reader #sergei kravinoff x reader #sergei kravinoff x you #aaron taylor johnson x reader #kraven x you #kraven the hunter x y/n #sergei kravinoff x y/n #kraven the hunter x you

[slasherhaven]

What do you think the slashers would get up to in a more normal world where they just got therapy and DIDN'T kill anyone? Like I think Brahms would've become a composer tbh, I headcanon he writes his own music? And Tommy'd probably still just work in the slaughterhouse or, if the slaughterhouse still closed down, as a farmhand??

What if the Slashers never became Slashers?

Thomas Hewitt

If the slaughterhouse never shut down, Thomas would definitely still be working there. It's the only real job available for people in that town, for many it will be their first and last job.

However, if the slaughterhouse still closed down and Charlie didn't instantly jump to cannibalism, Thomas would be eager to get back to work.

I see him working physical labour. Thomas knows that his strengths are, well...he's strength.

I could see him working as a farmhand or in construction of some sort.

Plus, it would really work on his confidence. Having a job where his natural size and strength were something to be proud of, that helps him and makes him effective.

Hopefully he'll get some nicer co-workers...I just want him to be happy.

Michael Myers

Michael is in therapy his whole childhood. His family spot the early signs that cause concern and get him help.

He's still pretty quiet, not super social, but not mute or irresponsive.

I remember reading a post ages ago about Michael receiving effective therapy and receiving consistent support from his family and I wanted to link it here but I couldn't find it again, I feel like that said everything I want to say 😂

Anyway, maybe he still spends some time in Smith's Grove but gets released back into he parent's care.

He develops a really good relationship with Laurie. She grows up visiting him and becomes an encouraging factor in his therapy.

In this universe, I suppose Michael would be a 'functioning psychopath' if that's what you want to call it. He'd still have a personality disorder but he has developed coping mechanisms to help him in life.

It's difficult to say what he might go on to do career wise but I think for Michael it's more important and interesting to think about his interpersonal relationships.

Jason Voorhees

Camp counsellor Jason!

Now, I can see this going two ways.

Firstly, lets say Jason loved camp. He made at least one friend, got to a bunch of fun activities, summer camp was the best time of year for him even if it wasn't perfect.

In this case, Jason would go back to work there so he could give other shy and bullied kids the same experience.

Alternatively, everything went the same expect Jason didn't drown. He was still thrown into the lake, the kids still laughed, the counsellors still weren't around, but he somehow survived.

He would have still hated camp but that would be what motivates him to go and work there.

He wanted it to be better for other kids, to make sure that if another poor child got tossed into the lake, there would be a counsellor around to protect/save them. He would be there for them.

Brahms Heelshire

As much as I love the idea of Brahms becoming a composer, I have to admit that I have less faith in him.

Assuming that his parents still spoiled him beyond belief and let him get away with shit, just no fires or death or anything, Brahms would be a little shit his whole life.

He'd become a rich fuckboi.

He'll have gone to some private school.

He'd have every opportunity to become a composer, so it's absolutely possible, I just imagine he would go through a 'rebellious' phase.

He's smart and I'd imagine he'd get pretty good grades, it will just take him some time to calm down and actually get his mind set on a career.

He's going to be living off of his family's money for a while.

But maybe he ends up being a composer and becomes his best self...

Bo Sinclair

I can see a few options for Bo.

I think he would still be a bit of a wild card in his teenage and young adult years but in the end I think his brothers are still important to him and he would want to stay close.

He might help Vincent run Ambrose a little.

If he does have a genuine passion or talent when it comes to cars, he might become a legit mechanic. I imagine he likes the process of fixing up cars, it gives him something to focus on.

I could also see him owning his own bar, somewhere near Ambrose, he and Vincent sending business each other's way.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent stays at the wax museum.

He continues his mother's legacy and brings a whole new life to the infamous House of Wax. He modernises the museum while still paying tribute to his mother.

And he does a good job, managing to bring a whole new life to Ambrose again. The tourist just keep coming to visit the House of Wax.

Maybe he even sticks to the Town of Wax idea and fills the abandoned town with wax figures but in a less murdery way.

That would serve to bring more tourists in.

I like the idea that he also sells some of his artwork, kind of like a side hustle.

His main focus is the House of Wax but he occasionally sells his other creations.

Lester Sinclair

Sure, Lester might just stick with his roadkill clean up gig but I think he is likely to remain close to his brothers either way.

I kind of like the idea of Bo being a mechanic and Lester working with him, likely his only employee but Bo can be a bit of a control freak.

Lester is a simple guy and finds joy in the smalls things.

Whatever job he has, he's likely happy with it.

He lives for time at home with Jonesy or dinners with his brothers.

And he's always more than happy to help Vincent out around Ambrose.

Bubba Sawyer

He would love to just work on his family's farm. Family is important to Bubba and I think he would love farm work.

He wouldn't mind working out in the sun, planting and tending to crops.

He doesn't mind the heavy lifting and manual labour.

However, he would love working with the animals.

He would work so well with them and they would love him.

Just imagine Bubba cuddling a little baby cow!!!

Billy Lenz

Hmmm Billy's is kinda difficult.

We don't get to know much about him but I headcanon that he's a big fan of movies and tv.

Maybe he had a part time job in a movie theatre as a teenager, just feeding his love for media.

Anyway, he goes through a shit ton of therapy. And it's effective in this case.

Maybe after leaving the institution he received his care in, he'd go back to school.

Hopefully he will find a passion for something there, starting to develop a more clear plan for his future.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

I mean, I think I've made my stance on this pretty clear.

Professor Emory.

He teaches entomology, of course.

The students either love him or hate him. He's very strict but if you perform well in his class, he'll take that into consideration.

In his time off, he's a pretty secluded person, preferring his own company.

He sticks with his usual hobbies, just with bugs instead of people.

His home is covered in preserved specimens, it's a genuine hobby that hasn't been twisted horrifically.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

Jesse likes power and he likes money.

So, with the less psychopathic, sadistic, murderous desires, he's going to be a CEO of some successful business.

It's difficult to picture Jesse in anything but that black suit of his.

However, in that one flashback we get in the second film, it seems that his father was a mortician.

So if certain fetishes hadn't formed, maybe he would take over his father's business, owning his own mortuary.

Otis Driftwood

I think in a world were Otis wasn't already obsessed with death and torture, meeting the Fireflies would have been great for him.

They're an eccentric bunch but they'd love him unconditionally.

Otis doesn't want to do anything big with his life, especially not with his career. He still wants to focus mostly on having fun, so he gets small job to make some money.

Probably working with Spaulding at the gas station or in some dive bar.

That being said, I don't see a world where Otis is a model citizen.

He might not be a murder in this universe but he has a history of violence, stupid bar fights and the like. He's also a bit of a petty thief.

If some drunk leaves his wallet on the bar...he can't not take it.

Baby Firefly

The last thing Baby wants to do it work. She just wants to focus as much time as she can on having fun.

Plus, she can't stay focused on one thing long enough to hold down a job with a real boss.

She knows how to get things for free, how to get other people to pay for things, how to get her family to give her what she needs.

It's in her name! She's the baby of the family, they'd do anything for her.

Her and Otis have mastered the art of petty theft.

The two of them can be quite the con artists when they put their mind to it.

However, I can see her doing the hair, makeup, and nails of local women in the area for some pocket money.

#thomas hewitt x reader #michael myers x reader #jason voorhees x reader #brahms heelshire x reader #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #billy lenz x reader #asa emory x reader #the collector x reader #jesse cromeans x reader #chromeskull x reader #otis driftwood x reader #baby firefly x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x reader #slasher #slashers #my writing

[thelightsandtheroses]

1.5: You're face to face with the man who sold the world

Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader.

Word Count: 1k Drabble Summary: The morning after meeting you at your insomnia bench, Joel and Ellie meet Tommy for breakfast and Joel reflects on his life in Jackson and the opportunities it presents for Ellie. Warnings: TLOU Part 1 plot spoilers, implied angst, introspectio, no other warnings come to mind, this is very much just some Joel introspection and me starting to delve into his perspective. You do not need to have read Your Hand In Mine to understand this but if you're reading the fic it bridges chapter 1 and 2. Notes: This is my very first drabble and a bit of an experiment for me and has helped me through a little writing block. The next full chapter will be coming soon and will include lots of interaction between the reader and Joel. Drabble title from the song Man Who Sold The World by David Bowie/covered by Nirvana (this is the version I personally love)

Series List | Chapter One |

Joel observes as Ellie takes another forkful of food, her gaze rising to watch him for a second before turning her attention back to her meal.

Change hasn’t always meant great things for Ellie. Jackson has been a big adjustment. She’s back at school after almost a year on the road, after everything they endured there. It’s her first time in a school not run by FEDRA though, her first time living in a community like this.

Joel still remembers Before, but he knows Ellie has no point of reference here. He’s never truly thought about that before, about the way this world looks to kids born after the outbreak. He’s been too lost in his grief and survival to ever think about things like that, but now he thinks about it all the time.

He takes a forkful of his own food, trying to stifle a yawn. Ellie doesn’t need to know he’s not sleeping; he doesn’t need her worrying about him. Colorado was bad enough. He’s supposed to look after her. That’s why he bought her here after Salt Lake City.

From the corner of his eye, Joel notices Tommy walk into the hall. Tommy raises a friendly hand before getting his own portion of food and joining them as your earlier words echo in Joel’s mind.

Heard you and Tommy are good on patrol …

Years ago, Tommy abandoned left him in Boston. He made it clear that the way they’d survived haunted him and whether he said it or not, he blamed Joel. Probably still does. 

Joel can carry that though. It’s okay. He kept his brother alive, didn’t he? So, as far as he’s concerned, he did his job and maybe there were better ways, but he worked with the tools he had at the time.

‘Hey Joel, Ellie,” Tommy says cheerfully.

“How’s it going?” Joel asks.

“It’s good, it’s good.” Tommy pauses. Despite his bright exterior, Joel recognises his sleep deprived eyes. His brother’s expression is one he remembers well from when Sarah was a baby. It’s strange to see it mirrored on his baby brother’s face now; a sign of how much time has really passed.

“Yeah, you look like it’s real good,” Joel says wryly. “Baby keeping you up?” Tommy’s a father now. Joel wishes it didn’t tear a little piece of his heart apart each time he looks at his niece’s face, but it does. It should be a blessing not a wound, but it cuts him so deeply.

She’s like Sarah, but she’s not Sarah. 

“She’s sleeping a little,” Tommy retorts quickly.

“Oh yeah?” Joel asks, raising an eyebrow at Ellie who fails to stifle her own laugh.

“Yeah.” Joel remembers how when his niece was born, Tommy had boasted she was sleeping already, that she was going to be a good baby.  Joel didn’t quite have the heart to warn him this was common, that she was unintentionally lulling him into a false sense of security.

His brother has made a life here. Maybe Joel can do the same, maybe it isn’t too late. He can feel that promise of hope, something he can hardly even remember from before.

The last twenty years have been built on violence, threat assessment and mitigation. They’ve been about survival and nothing else.

Until now.

Jackson is the first place Joel thinks he might be able to breathe. If there weren’t the continual ghosts of what he’s done,  the fact he’s keeping the truth about what happened at that hospital from Ellie.

He’d do it again for her though.

Every. Damn. Time.

It doesn’t make it any easier to sleep at night though.

  He didn’t expect to run into anyone when he left the house this morning. In Boston when he didn’t sleep, there were pills and alcohol, but it’s different now. He just needed to clear his head, walk around a little so he didn’t disturb Ellie.  He’d found the bench a few days before, but he could never have anticipated you being there too, or that either of you would start talking.

When Joel looks across the hall, as he listens to Ellie and Tommy talking, he notices you’re walking into the hall as if his thoughts had somehow summoned you.

He watches you smile broadly as you sit with two men and a teenage boy. You’re deep in conversation, a faint smile on your face as you collect your food and your group sit a couple of tables away from Joel’s family and dive into an animated conversation.

When Joel next looks over, you tip your head slightly as you laugh, bare a tiny bit of throat. He shouldn’t notice that.

You’re both the same and completely different to the woman he met on the bench last night. He notices you stifle a yawn when you think no one is looking, the only hint he’s seen that you’re hiding something from your group.

There’s something about you, about the conversation you shared that is drawing him in like a siren’s song.

He could ask Tommy about you. He could find out more about who you are, who you’re with, the life you lead outside of a bench in the middle of the night. Seeing you with your group, he recalls vague introductions and details from when he first came to Jackson. You’re something to do with the library? He can’t remember the links between the two men and you, but he recognises enough of you in the teenage boy to make the connection that he is clearly a relative of some type.

It doesn’t feel right to ask for information though. He’s curious, but something in Joel tells him that if he wants to get to know you, the real you, then all he needs to do is walk over to that bench on another sleepless night.

“Everything okay?” Ellie asks, looking up from her plate with a frown. “Joel?”

Tommy looks over at Joel then, raises an eyebrow with a silent question.

“Sure, kiddo. Hey, did you say you found a new book on space the other day?”

“Yeah, I did,” she says animatedly, “It’s really cool actually. The library here has a lot of books that weren’t in my old school library. Plus, they have DVDs, Joel. DVDs!”

Joel can’t help the way his smile widens as he listens to Ellie continue to talk. Everything he did between Boston and Salt Lake City; it was worth it for this.

He can feel hope setting root in his body, unfamiliar and strange. Maybe change is a good thing.

Tag List

YHIM: @orcasoul @pedropascalsbb g@yoursoulsunbreakable @iamskyereads @genetics4life@everyth1ngfan @frickatives @perennialdoll247 @joels-darlin @anavatazes @survivingandenduring @suzmagine @srmacaroni

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk

If you want to be added to (or removed from) one of the tag lists, let me know or you can get notifications for @thelightsandtheroses-fics if you prefer. If you do not have an age or age range showing you are over 18, I will not add you to this list. I block ageless and blank blogs.

#your hand in mine fic #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us #the last of us hbo #aka the insomnia bench fic #joel miller drabble

[cypionate60mg]

Hey I'm that last anon asking you to tell me what to do. I'm realizing now that that ask sounded kinda urgent, I apologize. What I meant to say is you seem like such an interesting man who knows who he is and what he wants and I need your guide on how to live my life more bravely. I'm going to move out soon so I could be myself, it's kind of a huge thing, and I'm scared. I've been realizing that my family will never accept me, and I'm learning to be okay with that, I'll find others who will love and accept me as myself. But I've lived my life rather sheltered, and when I do move out I'll have to figure out everything on my own. I am learning a lot right now, taxes and what to prepare, I guess I just need some motivation? Affirmation. Validation that I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life.

Thank you for thinking of me that way. The version of me that you see here is curated. That doesn't make it any less true. It just means that you think of me as accomplished and clear-headed because that's all I've shown of myself. So it may or may not comfort you to learn that I very often have no idea what the fuck I want, much less how to make it happen. But there are moments I do know, and part of that self-assuredness comes with age, I think. I'm assuming I'm older than you, which means I've had more time to take risks, fail, learn from my mistakes, and hazard a more informed guess the next go-round.

I've also made an effort to spend time with myself and my desires. And I've actually divested from the question of who I am, in favor of focusing on how I want to live. I just don't think the former is a useful question for me. Let the self be expansive in favor of acquiring new interests and experiences.

It sounds like you're already quite brave. Moving out and establishing yourself separately from your family is a huge undertaking. You're going to feel overwhelmed, regardless of how much courage you may have acquired up until this point.

If you've been "rather sheltered", it's important that you experience fear, struggle through it, and survive anyway. You can't be sufficiently, automatically brave in advance of every new challenge. Maybe in the moment, and sometimes after the fact. But it is something you will learn over time.

On a practical level, familiarize yourself with your community and what resources could become useful to you. Food and shelter. You need those things. Make connections with people who are knowledgable and involved. Maybe spend some time volunteering with certain initiatives. It can be a good way to learn how they work in case you need their support.

At the same time, be willing to part with some stability for the sake of pleasure. You can't successfully protect yourself from life and also live it fully. There are going to be risks you regret and opportunities you miss. But life will not pass you by if you remain open to its possibilities.

Good news: you can make the biggest mistake of your life and keep living. I wish the best of luck, anon. If you have any more questions, especially about resources for transition, feel free to message me directly and/or check out the replies.

#ask cyp60mg #behind the scenes

[popawritter12]

yandere high noon talon headcanons?

Yandere! High Noon Talon headcanons

Author's note: I like the initiative they all of you are taking, I never seriously thought about making headcanons for this skin <;3.

Chances of your loved ones being killed

We are talking about a fucking DEMON who travels on a fucking train where they take souls collected from other people.

A solid 70%

Although let's talk about if they don't die for him, they die for any of his other demon friends.

First impressions

You were an inhabitant of a seedy town, you lived with your partner in a house somewhat far from the rest of the town. While they both lived comfortably, it was more than obvious that both of you dealt with demons or other dangerous creatures.

While neither of obth of them were demon hunters, they could manage to keep other creatures or humans at bay solely to maintain their survival. Mainly they knew about the powder train, and about the “horsemen of the Apocalypse,” so to speak.

Even with all the bad experiences you had with bad blood demons, you were looking for peace with one of these. You were not a pacifist, but if you could avoid a fight where you were disadvantaged, then you avoided it.

You loved your partner very much, but you couldn't spend much time together because of their job on the railways, so most of the time you spent it alone, with you and your animals alone, you were the “perfect prey” for any demon.

However, you had some tools to defend yourself. And although more than once you questioned to what extent you could defend your beloved home and your own life from those beings eager for some soul to take, in the end there was always only one conclusion; that damn train won't take you today, or tomorrow, or that damn year.

One night, you find Talon; you had heard your dogs barking constantly and annoyingly, and it wasn't until you went outside that you saw him on the outskirts of your field, injured and weak.

Against all odds you took him home, but to a secluded place, one where your partner couldn't find him.

When he was able to speak, he just thanked you. Although you wanted to treat him well, you knew demons well, and you especially knew that given the slightest opportunity he would murder you, and take your soul to that damned railroad.

You didn't talk much to him, limiting yourself to asking him how he had gotten to that place and what had hurt him so much. He hummed a vague answer about a bandit (Though the "bandit" was only begging for they soul to not be stolen), and while you wanted to ask him more, you only gave him the benefit of the doubt about his alibi.

You were too cautious when talking to him, and only healed him and gave him some hot food, also saying that he had permission to sleep in that place until dawn, but that he would not be welcomed in another room in your house.

He, although he had planned to kill you, didn't do it, not because he “was actually a good person”, it was because there was something that did not allow him to do so.

He always had the chance, he could sneak up behind you and put a blade through your chest, but something in his mind wouldn't let him. Something rooted in his heart still beating against all thoughts of his mind, justifying his actions, and all of that prompted a humble act of kindness on your part.

It wasn't until dawn came that, in his twisted head, there was only the thought of letting you live, even if it was to know more about you before taking you to the train, to the place you hated so much.

First murder or Yandere act.

Talon resorts to watching you from afar, hoping to learn why his mind refuses the idea of taking you with him, but the more he looked at you, the more he tried to get closer to you or learn basic things like what you like to eat, the more the idea of take you away from your lover resoned in his head, to finally give you closure rather than leave you to your fate against any horseman of the apocalypse or any other demon bold enough to take your soul and carry it as if it were his property. But something that was particularly like a stab in the heart was discovering that you were in a relationship.

He wasn't particularly zealous with humans, I mean, he basically doesn't care about humans, being that he could kill them whenever he wanted, and however he wanted.

But seeing how that person took you, caressed your skin or filled your ears with words of love while spreading kisses all over your body… It was like one of the worst tortures for him.

And he decides to take this person's life.

Your partner was just as kind as you, but exclusively with humans; any other creature would not enjoy the same respect that they gives to his peers.

However, he was more absent-minded than you; Working so many hours on the railroad led them to feel quite tired, more than a regular one; more so due to the fact that their boss was not particularly friendly or companionable to his employees. That gave Talon many more advantages than he already had.

In a particular day, when he saw them leaving work, he decided to act. And it didn't take long until your beloved partner arrived home; full of stab wounds, wounds to the chest and face, while they could barely breathe. The sensations he was going through were like a living hell for them. As soon as you managed to take them in your hands, you dragged him to a nearby chair, before going to look for medicine, the hope of being able to save him lay in your mind, over and over again.

But when you saw your beloved again, you had the misfortune to see him too.

A grimace of anger appeared on your face, as you yelled at him if he was the author of such an attack. The blonde didn't answer you, he just looked at the dying one: now that he thought about it clearly, it was the first time he felt a certain… satisfaction, a pleasure ran through his heart like a beautiful tingling that could only be compared against the feeling he had when he found you for the first time, when he had the good fortune to find a human who received him with such warmth.

And his hand approached the body of that person; the blood generating an aroma between intense and tense in the air. You immediately jumped on him, a cry of desperation as you tried to save your loved one. Your screams were just desperate questions about why he did this, why he made you suffer so much, but he didn't answer you.

With all the pain in his heart, he hurt you; pushing your body against the wall in a brutal and even savage manner, before taking the soul of the dying person in his hands; a soft plea coming from the wandering soul as the person looked at the demon, the only thing you managed to understand was that your loved wanted him to leave you alone, that he could take their soul if he wanted but not to harm you or make you suffer.

Relationship or kidnapping

It was very clear that he wouldn't listen to those words at all, right?

As soon as you managed to open your eyes, you saw the corpse of your loved one; dead, rotting while only subtly leaning back. In front of you was the demon you had previously received for a simple impulsive act of kindness.

And it's obvious that he takes you. but not to the train. In his mind, there was only the idea of how beautiful you were as a human; even with his certain disdain for that species, to him you looked so good like this; weak, sensitive and even submissive under him.

But he hides you in a place where not even the railroad demon could find you; No one knew about your whereabouts from the moment he took you away from everyone, and rest assured that it will be like this until the end of your days.

Coexistence

Very irritating for you.

The few times he is with you he seeks to pamper you, give you hugs and kisses, no matter how much you deny him, he will continue to seek that affection over and over again, believing that sooner or later you would give in and accept his love. And even though you knew that was very far from reality, he insisted, to a totally irritating point.

He doesn't usually punish you, he isn't attracted to the idea of hurting you, deciding better to only threaten you in a way that he knew could cause fear within your heart, however if you are too stubborn, then it can drive him to a pretty big point of anger.

Marriage and family

In case you're wondering, no, I don't see either of those things as possible.

I mean, in marriage I say we're talking about a fucking DEMON, and in terms of getting along with your family, well, let's just say that at this point in the story it's pretty obvious that he's no longer interested.

If possible, children?

Nah,

He knows the end is coming, but in his mind he only thinks about spending as much time as he can with you, without letting any other demon or human lay a finger on you. He already had enough trouble trying to convince you that he was okay with EVERYTHING he did, so it would be even harder for him to want to have a child with you.

Bad ending.

I HAVE BEEN THINKING THIS FROM THE BEGINNING

Suppose that, after the kidnapping, you are cornered by another demon or human, who takes you away from where he had hidden you, and when he notices it he loses his mind.

Like Zed, he is capable of moving HEAVEN AND EARTH to find you again, and when he does, he makes a decision… something that does disagree with the decision Zed makes.

He hugs you, fills you with affection and I even dare to say that he can sob; saying that he was so afraid that they would take you away from him.

His caresses are sweet, his words are soft as cotton, almost as if he's actually been afraid of you walking away from him. You could even hear his heartbeat; accelerated, almost as if it were about to explode from so much adrenaline.

You thought that maybe it wasn't so bad, that maybe he really wanted to defend you and love you purely, after all he looked for you even under the rocks just to find you and give you a hug and tell you that he loved you. But a blade in your abdomen interrupted you. It didn't take long before he gave you a soft kiss on your lips, his eyes overflowing with tears that run down his cheeks while his weapon pierces and opens your delicate skin like a hunter opening his first hunted animal.

He whispered regrets and apologies to you so many times that your ears grew tired of hearing it, as if they just wanted to stop hearing his broken voice, but he couldn't help but do so.

His heart sank in his chest, feeling pure regret for having subjected you to this level, yet it was the first time that everything surrounding this world had finally surpassed him.

And, the moment he took the hand of your wandering soul, he could only feel the hatred in your eyes, the contempt with which you looked at him; he took everything from you, your life, your reason for living, the person you loved most, the ability to see any way to escape, and now he claimed your soul as his own, dragging your existence onto that train from which you had escaped for so long.

He would not allow any other demon to claim that person's soul, and if he had to separate their soul from their body in order to ensure that fact, then he would do it a thousand times over.

Reasons to be a Yandere

-In the story “A Stranger on the Road” the same story tell us that he can feel regret about killing humans, even when it was something he forced himself to do. He is able to feel, and is able to know that his actions are wrong, so we can assume that he has feelings as basic as regret or love.

-He's not used to someone's kindness, especially in a time as complicated as it is, well, THE ENTIRE HIGH NOON UNIVERSE.

(This section is short since I don't know what to put to justify the space, I try to compensate in the data part)

Extra data:

-This version of Talon is the most affectionate towards you, and we can see that he is a little more emotional than the other versions.

-He is very curious about you; He may know everything about you but he would ask you what you like over and over again, until he hates everything about you from head to toe.

-He enjoys you caressing his hair, since he feels that being in your arms was the best feeling that he couldn't compare to anything.

-After the bad ending, he follows you throughout the train, even trying to prevent other souls or demons from touching you; It wasn't because of fear of being hurt, just because of jealousy.

-He usually takes care of EVERYTHING after he takes you to the train, wanting to lock you in a car exclusively for yourself, just to prevent anyone else from laying a hand on you.

-If you meet your former partner on the train and try to talk to them, Talon will react badly; he would take you away from that person, even if it included dragging you by the hand.

#yandere #obsessive love #poppa thoughs #yandere league of legends #yandere x you #league of legends #yandere headcanons #yandere male #lol #poppa things #Yandere Talon #Yandere Talon Du Couteau #Yandere league of legends x reader #league of legends x reader #Talon x reader #Yandere Talon x reader #High noon talon #yandere high noon talon #Talon #Talon league of legends #talon lol

[alliedmastercomputer67]

Javier Escuella reflects the immigrant experience I went through and it hurts to see that be disregarded

I understand him in the way that coming to a new country is a terrifying experience, to leave everything you know and love and people you care for behind never knowing when or if you'll ever see them again. Trying to escape something you know you won't live thru and not wanting to be subject to an unfair way of life, trying to do something good for yourself and necessary to survive, somehow you feel guilty about it and you think why didn't I save someone else? why did I do this? do I deserve a better opportunity and a better chance at becoming someone in life?

Coming to a country and hoping for that better opportunity is a gamble and In my case I don't even know if I'm winning or losing. Coming to America from Mexico we're promised big cities with endless opportunities and equality for all and we're told we will always have enough of everything and never have to spend a day on the streets, but like Javier says, it's the same here as it is back there, the only difference is that America has the money and the power to hide that from the outside world and it creates a mirage enticing people into coming here and leads people into a trap of never having enough, not for yourself much less your family and even much less to just LIVE. Luring people into the cold venomous heart of what we hoped to be the American Dream

I never lived in a house we own. the house I'm in today is not ours and we pay ridiculous rent, I lived in a single room for most of my life with my parents, and I think Javier would understand what it feels like. He'd understand wishing you could've had what you do now years ago but you just know what's done is done. Javier understands the struggles that come with adapting and evolving with the world around you, the teases and insults thrown at you for broken English until you finally become some what fluent and realize you don't understand a lick of your native dialect and how your Spanish has become broken.

Having to comply with what makes the people above you "comfortable" takes away your sense of identity, you cage the once passionate and hungry spirit in you so it's enthusiasm won't scare off people or opportunities. He'd understand what it feels like to constantly feel like people just assume things because of how you look. He would get why I feel humiliation sitting, waiting for the food drive and seeing the kids around me and realizing the thing we all have in common is our blood. He'd understand what it's like to have people disregard your intelligence because to them someone like you with your skin and someone who speak the language you do can't be as smart as them.

When I was little I often tried to scrub off my brown skin because I felt ashamed of it. and I think he'd understand why. I love my country and what makes me Mexican but I live in a country that makes me fear being proud will get me killed and I won't sugarcoat that. I make myself more American for the sake of fitting in and in that act I've lost a part of myself.

I think he understands feeling shame but still being prideful because if not pride then what else is there?

#maybe im just projecting #maybe im just angry at the way my life turned out #maybe im angry at myself for not doing anything with that opportunity so far #but i think hed understand. in some way #maybe if i told him he'd go “pues asi es la vida” #and id get what he means #just maybe #javier escuella #rdr2 #also thank god i was finally able to put it into words I APOLOGIZE ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE #dont forget to like follow and subscribe!!!!!

[stardustprompts]

she who became the sun ( the radiant emperor #1 )  -   shelly parker-chan change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying  tw ;  death , war ,  violence , sexism

‘they say there’s luck in names, and you’ve certainly had luck enough.’

'in my experience, lucky people tend to be the laziest.’

‘where’s the fun in suffering by yourself?’

‘you think you’re that good-looking everyone wants to see you?’

‘desire is the cause of all suffering.’

‘I don’t appreciate being made a puppet for another man’s dirty work.’

‘when I ask myself if future pain is worth it for this life I have now, I always find that it is.’

‘I always knew you had a strong will. but what’s unusual about you is that most strong willed people never understand that will alone isn’t enough to guarantee their survival.’

‘more so than will, survival depends upon an understanding of people and power.’

‘it isn’t strength, but knowledge, that will be our best tool for surviving these difficult times ahead.’

'undoubtedly, chaos brings danger. but there will be opportunities, too.’

‘it’s due to chaos that we’re living through a moment in which even ordinary men can aspire to greatness.’

‘are you going to stab me?’

‘you can’t pray away your fate.’

‘I was merciful. I let you live.’

‘you cause me trouble as well as shame.’

‘you disappoint me.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood. perhaps especially if they’re on our side.’

‘in my father’s eyes, I’ll always be the failure.’

‘(name) is an easy person to love. the world loves him, and he loves the world, because everything in it has always gone right for him.’

‘you and (name) are two unlike things. don’t fool yourself that he can ever understand you.’

‘I know what it’s like to be humiliated.’

‘any kind of fool can stumble into success once or twice.’

‘you two are such a bad match. can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘clever people know when to give in.’

‘if you join his side, you’ll regret it.’

‘how little lives are worth in this war. theirs and ours, both.’

‘you have a lot of feelings in you.’

‘to win a hundred victories, a hundred battles is not the pinnacle of skill. to subdue the enemy without fighting is the pinnacle of skill.’

‘what someone is means nothing about what kind of person they are. truth is in actions.’

‘I didn’t mean to kill. at first.’

‘I wanted to live, so I took a life.’

‘all that means is we have to make this life count.’

‘who did you become, when we were apart?’

‘I might not know you, but I know what you want.’

‘you’ve opened my eyes. there are so many more options than I thought.’

‘you saw something in me that I didn’t know myself.’

‘what kind of man bothers to see potential in a woman, and encourages her despite her own doubts?’

‘rest assured that the only reason I helped you is because it gets me closer to what I want.’

‘you know what’s worse than suffering? not suffering, because you’re not even alive to feel it.’

‘learn to want something for yourself. not what someone says you should want. not what you think you should want.’

‘don’t go through life thinking only of duty. when all we have are these brief spans between our nonexistences, why not make the most of the life you’re living now?’

‘why not make the most of the life you’re living now? the price is worth it.’

‘maybe your suffering is worth whatever it is you want to achieve. but mine wouldn’t be.’

‘that’s all past history. I never think of it.’

‘do you believe that? that one day we’ll be out of a job, because of peace?’

‘have the courage to take power for yourself! do you think it will come to you if you wait?’

‘do you actually believe the idiocy that comes out of your mouth?’

‘you never accepted me for who I am; you never even saw everything I did for you, all because I’m not like (name)!’

‘you always push everyone away. what do you find in it, the loneliness? I couldn’t bear it.’

‘you trust too much. I admire you for it. that you prefer to drawn people closer, rather than push them away. but it’ll get you hurt.’

‘the worst injury you can do to a man is shame him. he can never forget it.’

‘it must have been painful, learning that true wisdom lies in obedience.’

‘are you always thinking do little of me that my defeats seem inevitable?’

‘i’d have thought you’d be the last to cry about (name’s) fate. why can’t we just stand back and let it happen?’

‘so you’re going to save (name) from himself?’

‘and here I thought I was the only one who got manipulated by pretty girls.’

‘why are you lowering yourself by dirtying your hands like this? let someone else take care of this trash.’

‘you were only ever a pretender. you only sat on a pretend throne.’

‘why do we have to play these awful games? what for?’

‘what does anyone want but to be on top, untouchable?’

‘who do you think I am, to think I can make anything happen in my own life? i’m a woman.’

‘I know you don’t want that life. a different one isn’t impossible.’

‘you have something I don’t; you feel for others, even the ones you don’t like.’

‘you want me to believe you’re different. that you can give me something different. but how can I trust that? I can’t.’

‘are you fool enough to believe the future will match your dream of it, with no consideration of the reality of the situation?’

‘I don’t admit anything! I don’t need to! you’ve already made up your mind!’

‘you can’t reason with fools who refuse to see reason.’

‘he was right about you. you’re worthless. worse than that; a curse.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth. and there is nothing worth more than a father.’

‘(name) would never put himself on the line for me, or anyone else. but you, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?’

‘i’ve wanted and struggled and suffered for that fate my whole life. I’m not going to stop now.’

‘you are trouble. I’ve never met anyone more trouble than you,’

‘are you so certain of the possibility of change? it seems to me the outcome is inevitable.’

‘what I want has nothing to do with who wins.’

‘every time the world turns its face from you, know it was because of me.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it. i’ll give it to you.’

‘I have everything I need. whereas you, — you still need me.’

‘nobody expected anything of me. nobody ever cherished me.’

‘I cherish you.’

‘you think you understand me. but don’t forget it goes both ways. like knows like; like is connected to like. I understand you, too.’

‘pure emotions are the luxury of children and animals.’

‘more fool I am, to hope against hope for a change in his nature, that he might actually try to be useful.’

‘I presume you’re not here to kill me.’

‘you think you have power over me because you know a secret. but you don’t.’

‘how can something like that stop me, destroy me, when nothing else has?’

‘look at me and see the person who will win. the person who will rule.’

‘I presume you realize how much I dislike you. wasn’t the last where I said I wanted to kill you clear enough?’

‘you betray you ignorance in less than a sentence.’

‘how willing you were to think the worst of me. why aren’t you happier? i’m just being who you’ve always though I was. i’m giving you the ending you believed in.’

‘the times and means of our deaths have always been fixed, and this is yours.’

‘even the most shining future, if desired, will have suffering at its heart.’

‘i’ll follow you, as far as you want to go.’

‘I wasn’t born with the promise of greatness either. but I have it now. because I wanted it. because I’m strong, because I’ve struggled and suffered to become the person I need to me, and because I do want needs to be done.’

‘you said you’d be different. you lied to me.’

‘when you did this, did you even stop to think about how it might make me feel to bear witness for what you think is justified?’

‘I want what I want, and sometimes I’m going to have to do certain things to get it.’

‘you have two choices. you can rise with me, which I’d prefer. or if you don’t want what I want— you can leave.’

#rp sentence starters #rp prompts #rp memes #literature sentence starters #literature prompts #she who became the sun prompts #she who became the sun sentence starters #the radiant emperor prompts #the radiant emperor sentence starters

[otomefiend]

Alfons Sylvatica

Story Event: Black Wedding. A false vow to a dark bride.

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Alfons being his usual self, paving his way with a knee. Fade to black is making an annoying appearance.

~~Part 1~~

Alfons: "Why do people care about having a wedding ceremony?"

Kate: "Huh?"

Alfons: "If you truly love each other, there's no need to do such a thing."

Alfons: "It takes a lot of money, time, and effort. All in all, it's too much hassle to be worth it."

Kate: "You don't beat around the bush for sure..."

(Why to have a wedding, huh? I never really thought about it)

Kate: "There can be plenty of reasons to do it, I guess."

Kate: "Like wanting to wear a wedding dress or to receive a blessing from others."

Kate: "…but the most important of all is to create happy memories."

Alfons: "Happy memories, you say?"

Kate: "You can't avoid sad and painful things in life, can you?"

Kate: "At times like that, if you can recall a precious memory, you can hold out a little longer."

Kate: "I wonder if that's how others see it as well."

Alfons: "Well, in my experience people are prone to forget."

Alfons: "I'll say, we can survive only by forgetting."

Certainly, it'd be very difficult to live with painful and sad things all the time.

That's why time robbed people of their memories, sometimes gently and sometimes cruelly.

(However--)

~~Part 2~~

(However--)

Kate: "If it's something I don't want to forget, I won't forget it. I'll be able to remember it forever, I'm sure."

Alfons: "......"

Kate: "Alfons..?"

Alfons: "I see. Kate, I'd like to ask you one thing."

Alfons: "What colour was the last candy you wrapped?"

Kate: "Huh? Err..."

Kate: "Red? No, it might have been yellow..."

Alfons: "A-ha-ha!"

Alfons: "Your words lack credibility. You say you will remember, even though you forgot what you did just moments ago."

Kate: "Hey, that's..!"

Believer: "...cough"

Kate: "Ah..."

~~~

Far from being in love, we were caught arguing with each other. If things continued like this, there was no chance for us getting accepted --

Alfons: "Are you trembling with anticipation for having our first sleepover, Kate?"

(....I never thought we'd end up staying here overnight)

(This means they're still being suspicious of us)

As I was reflecting on the unforseen obstacles we had encountered一

Alfons: "There's one bed and a couple of lovers looking at it, the only thing left to do..."

He then gently pressed my shoulder and, as I staggered, used this opportunity to push me onto the bed.

Kate: "Alfons...what?"

~~Part 3~~

Still hovering over me, he brought his lips to my ear.

Alfons: "....careful what you say. There's someone outside."

(Wait, do you mean that the believers are listening?)

Alfons: "... Kate, be so kind and start working with me here, please."

As soon as he whispered, a sweet shiver ran through my neck.

(Ah...)

Alfons: "Oh my, are you suddenly feeling nervous, being in an unfamiliar place?"

Alfons: "Heh, that's adorable, my cute little lover."

I could feel his knee slip between my legs.

Kate: "Ah...."

Alfons: "Let this be another night of lovemaking until we're completely satisfied with each other."

Alfons: "Good girl, now please let out your dirty little cries like you always do."

Kate: "a.......hh, nn........."

~~~

How long did Alfons toy with me like that?

Alfons: "-- no signs of people anymore."

He released me and gave me a meaningful look as I was trying to catch my breath.

Alfons: "Heh, your expression is rather lascivious. You don't have to act anymore, you know."

Alfons: "Unless you'd like to continue?"

Kate: "N-no way―"

Alfons: "I wish I could live up to your expectations, but unfortunately I have things to attend to."

Kate: "Things to attend...?"

~~Part 4~~

Alfons: "I wish I could live up to your expectations, but unfortunately I have things to attend to."

Kate: "Things to attend...?"

Alfons: "I'm going to search for hidden bodies. Her Majesty told me to verify all of the evidence."

Alfons: "It might come as a surprise, but I'm the type who takes his job seriously."

(That means)

Kate: "Did you deliberately act untrustworthy to stay here until nighttime...?"

Alfons: "Feel free to interpret it however you like. --see you later."

Left to my own devices after Alfons disappeared, I collapsed onto the bed.

(...as always, he's insolent, dishonest, and hard to grasp)

(However)

*flashback starts*

Kate: "If it's something I don't want to forget, I won't forget it. I'll be able to remember it forever, I'm sure."

Alfons: "........"

*flashback ends*

(At that time, just for a moment... I felt like I could see his true feelings, but maybe it was just my imagination.)

(......why am I.....constantly thinking..... about this guy...)

~~~

Alfons: "Kate, Kate. It's time to wake up, okay?"

Kate: "uh...huh"

Alfons: "How heartless. I can't believe you went to sleep without waiting for your lover to come back."

Kate: "I, when did I..."

It was completely bright outside, indicating the day had already started.

Alfons: "Now then, Kate. Good news or bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"

Kate: "Please start with the bad one, since I have to hear both anyway."

Alfons: "I found the corpses in a hidden room in the basement."

(...as expected)

Alfons: "Some of them had already turned into skeletons, but looking at the bodies that were still fresh, I realized one thing."

Alfons: "All of them had clean stab wounds, indicating no resistance from the victims. I'm pretty sure they were stabbed to death after being drugged with sleeping pills."

Alfons: "It looks like the leader committed the murders, though the believers most likely helped him."

Alfons: "Now, the good news."

~~Part 5~~

He took something out of the box he held beside him.

Kate: "...A black dress."

Alfons: "Thanks to our last night's naughty activities, now we can safely get married."

Alfons: "It'd be good to hurry up, as the wedding will start in a few hours."

Kate: "Eh, in a few hours!?"

Alfons: "Yes, would you like a hand getting ready?"

Kate: "No, thanks."

Alfons: "My, what a shame."

~~~

I quickly donned the wedding dress and rushed to Alfons.

Kate: "Thank you for waiting."

Alfons: "Oh? ....the dress suits you pretty well, doesn't it?"

Alfons: "Well, not that surprising since it was chosen by Victor."

Kate: "I wondered if that was the case."

Alfons: "Heh. Come now, let's open this door and continue our mission of delivering judgement. May I borrow your hand?"

He put my hand into the crook of his arm.

(...I know it's our mission, but I'm a little nervous about this situation)

Alfons: "In the future, when you're really getting married, you might remember this day."

Kate: "Huh?"

Alfons: "There's no chance you'll experience an exciting wedding ceremony without me."

Alfons: "Now, shall we go, Kate?"

~~~

The chapel was empty, with no one in sight except for me and Alfons.

Unbeknownst to us, the person we've been waiting for so long appeared at the altar --

Chapter 3 Bitter

#ikemen villains #ikevil #alfons sylvatica #ikevil alfons #story event #ikevil story event #fan translation

[mantisgodsdomain]

[Image Description: Screenshots of a discord chat. Participant's names have been censored. Full transcript below cut.]

Blue: ...new thought thinking about how vi and hoaxe are direct narrative foils

Purple: owo???

Blue: just!!! thinking about narrative foils in general kabbu's got the beast, a traditional antagonist in the way of directly hindering what kabbu's trying to do leif has a more abstract foil in the zommoth, with the horror and dread of "is this what he would have become?" in one of those "scrooge looking at his own grave" things he actually has two, one in the form of the watcher to a lesser extent but vi? well she doesn't appear to have anyone ...except hoaxe

Blue: two neglected outcasts going down drastically different routes in search of the same goal they both want to live cushy, comfortable lives, being accepted and revered, but they go about it in different ways vi has something to prove, both to others, and herself. she accomplishes it through greed, not even after the money as much as what it represents: power, a power she's been deprived of her whole life. bees don't get the power to choose what they are, they even barely get to choose who they are, and she wants that to change and hoaxe, disoriented from being thrown abruptly into a whole new world, down to different water and sky, seeks survival, and survival means power. he wants to survive, and he sees his opportunity in the form of the crown, throwing away everything he had for a shot at what he thinks will save him from suffering in this strange land and he succeeds. but in doing so, he ends up becoming the antagonist to everyone else, not knowing how to handle suddenly having all this power, and goes to war to try to seek the next step, because… well, what now? it wasn't built up to, his mind hasn't registered himself as "i am safe and will survive" yet, it all happened so fast and that instinct to live still remains, even if he's no longer under any threat

Blue: so, what's the next step of continuing to live? seeking everlasting life.

Blue: the difference between hoaxe and vi is that vi could adjust to her steadily increasing fame and fortune, handling it well and responding properly to suddenly having more influence on the world, while hoaxe threw himself head first into it and went crazy with delusions of what he was supposed to do now one was earned, and thus was prepared for. one was a random chance, and it was like winning the lottery. what now?

Purple: this is excellent

Blue: vi and hoaxe's parallel is that vi had a plan, hoaxe didn't, but so many of their actions are similar both are willing to kill for their goal both can be incredibly antisocial both are, by far, not good (moral) characters

Blue: vi seriously considers leaving kabbu to die twice (and a half, considering how she tries to run at the end), shows no compassion for leif when he was possibly dead or injured throughout chapter 1 (web scene and post-river scene, since leif didn't wake up for a while), and managed to get kicked out of a place that canonically hosts blackmailers, gamblers, murderers, and peddlers kabbu outright calls her vile she's possibly the furthest thing from a hero that isn't a villain, but she manages to grow as a person and learns how to use her newfound power that she was always after properly hoaxe on the other hand, he was thrust into a position of absolute control with no prior experience, no one showing him how to rule, and no one offering him guidance and someone to fall back to when it got too hard the thing about hoaxe and vi? if vi was put into hoaxe's position, offered a chance to get, not just power, but revenge on the hive? she would take it, and she would go exactly the way hoaxe did she'd see no problems in having the mentality of "a queen is not meant to serve! a queen is meant to be served!" because all her life, she's been pushed into a role "for the queen" without barely ever seeing her, she's locked behind giant guarded doors after all, plus the whole "obey your mother, mother always knows best" culture would start to ingrain itself as "the queen is absolute", and if she had the opportunity to control the hive more than queenhood ever could provide? she wouldn't hesitate to take it

Blue: and hoaxe? if he had someone to put his trust into, to be honest with and even look up to to a point, someone he could truly confide in and get help in achieving his goals of having a safe, comfortable life? i doubt he would have ended up different to vi in the end of things

Blue: love it when the hero and villain are effectively the same person

Purple: this is So Very Neat and i adore it

Blue: bug fables is a glorious goldmine of "they didn't plan any of this, did they."

Purple: it really do be just gotta. get cohered a bit

Blue: love these bugs. they'd hate being compared to each other so much

#we speak #bug fables spoilers #bug fables #writing #long post #just remembereed we've never posted this fucking thing #anyways. bug fables tag look at this ramble from september

[soulntes]

THE TRUTH UNTOLD - PROLOGUE

[THE TRUTH UNTOLD SERIES]

the life of pandora is an experience very phenomenal. to be able to witness personally gives you a different perspective of life itself and.. when you start growing to loving her so much, very impossible to ignore the harm it's done on her.

humans on earth only hear stories and news about the planet from their televisions and papers about 'their new earth'. as well the indigenous inhabitants living there but it includes pieces of lines explaining their hostile personalities and unwelcoming behavior. how would any human feel empathy towards the navi of their situation of sharing anything of their home when all they done is discover a new way of life, wanting to bring a whole species to drive them out?

scientists do. they learn and teach but nobody lends an ear for a learning experience about the connection their people have for their mother planet. most humans don't want to. not when they destroyed their mother out of greed, money, power, and superiority. why would they care when they already destroyed beyond repair.

it is all about perspective. time to wake up and face the truth. those who want to learn, they learn and use it to survive without expecting to getting anything in return.

those who a dream about a new life learn to love and embrace their new them.

the sully sister dreamt of a new beginning. away from her past and agonizing pain which she trained hard for years has finally paid off. her dream of loving another became vibrant and clear of what her path will be.

her dreams of flying through the wild life, running on branches and plants that grew to be felt down her feet, the sun setting to watch the stars to reach it's brightness, shining above her and.. someone else.

their blue four fingers grazes softly on hers to bring them to his lips for a peck. the soft, tender kiss melted her heart by how gentle he treated her as he looks at her with those yellow eyes of love.

this felt like a lovely warm spring when flowers blossom with a fresh start in their lives, enjoying the sun feeding them life and exploring their experiences in person.

it seemed all but a dream.

sooner or later.. you're gonna have to wake up.

the military trained woman participated in the avatar program was offered a once life time opportunity for humanity to discover.

she wanted to leave earth because of how human treated their mother over the years. instead of helping her heal and reemerge her beauty, they kill her more for money and power and selfish needs until she no longer exists.

her instincts dedicating her teenage years to study what is beneficial from dr augustine's book about the navi. nine foot tall, dark shade of blue the aliens appeared as with four fingers, big pointy ears, and a long tail. their appearances look alike towards a feline but they have a lean, slim figure. hair decorated of beads and styles to their liking representing their image that'll be vividly know amongst their clan.

their culture surrounding solely on their great mother eywa who's connected to all living things and their guidance in life that takes a huge role in their entire lives. traditions around the birth of their newborns and journeys that are remembered with songs and story telling surrounding the greatest accomplishments.

everything on pandora seemed lively with how much you get to discover with your very eyes. falling in love with a bond so sacred and meaningful developed something she wished that happens on earth and be with the one you love for all eternity.

feel the love, every single touch, any ounce of pain, and their thoughts about you in their eyes that hold eternity.

but it was a better experience to go to the wonderful, one of a kind planet and witness the beauty of it personally.

nobody knows what awaits in the forest of mystery and love to unravel.

deep within nature was a man, a mighty warrior, in his lonesome time awaiting for a sign to protect the people and those he cares for deeply. for his heart broken yearned something he's been dreaming of, out of his reach. then he starts dreaming a woman. a strange dream walker by the look of her hands offering to accept.

a woman's touch is a remarkable sensation when you feel the love and affection and appreciation of their efforts. a woman who'd dedicate herself into providing happiness and warmth in his toughest times. a woman who he's never met and a man devoting his life to protect his people.

her presence made it all so nerve wracking by her beauty compared to the stars of the darkest eclipse. her joyous smile that he only sees.

a hand out of reach not knowing what awaits them and wait for their time to come as it's all planned by the great mother herself, not bearing seeing those sensitive to suffer and the strongest to ignore their wants.

until they meet in a few years.

TAGLIST

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @misscaller06 @theunfortunateplace @im-in-a-pansexual-panik

#tsu'tey #tsutey #tsu'tey fic #tsu'tey x oc #tsu'tey angst #avatar tsu'tey #tsu'tey avatar #tsu'tey fluff #tsu'tey smut #navi oc #avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar 2022 #avatar angst #angst #avatar smut #tsutey avatar #pandora #eywa #omatikaya #olo'eyktan #blog post #tsu'tey x reader

[martyrbat]

yknow im gonna be honest right here and admit that jason todd being poor is something i hold very personal to me because i am and being able to connect with this little fictional character and recognize myself is something very dear to my autistic heart and how i analyze his character. so please excuse how messy this is as i try to spontaneously place my thoughts in something legible

[ID: a closeup of Jason Todd as Robin. He's asking Batman, "What's that world ever do for me?" END ID]

But this whole flashback in particular still makes me so frustrated. When you're poor, you establish and build communities. You have to or you die. You rely on people's kindness and love - even if you're a stranger. It's how you survive. I had old friends ask me if im embarrassed or say they'd be too ashamed to take that help or do what I had to do to scrape by.

But so many don't understand that pride is a luxury many can't afford. I'm not ashamed. I'm angry you'd rather have me dead than confront the classism you benefit from and are comfortable upholding.

Poor people are the first to tell you that the world and society aren't going to save you and that you're abandoned by it - that they'll leave you to die and not care until it breaks their bubble of privilege and exploitation. (Homelessness, landlords, shoplifting food. Being visibly poor or effecting THEIR lives - it's never about yours). But the people in it, the 'little people', are the reason you ever survive. You're at the rawest point of humanity and while yes, you experience and deal with the cruelty and dirtiest parts of it - you see and experience the genuine kindness from everyday people. People that are equally struggling are more likely to help you than people that can comfortably do so without the fear of going without.

[ID: Batman and Robin sitting together on a ledge. Batman is telling Robin, "You need to love it...Or what's the point?" END ID]

Now take this kid. He gone without. He doesn't get to have a billionaire privilege of that filtered view. He knows people aren't good vs evil, that they're not black or white. Good people do shitty things to survive. Evil people walk free. He's familiar and knows struggles and reality - he knows drug addiction and overdose and murder and suicides and malnourishment. He knows police brutality and the system is designed against people like him up until just recently - where he suddenly meets the criteria to be protected instead of targeted. He doesn't look over the streets, waiting to swoop in. He's lived in them. He knows them.

For me and my experience as a disabled, poor, autistic with hyper empathy? All you want to do is help others. You don't have a life unless you're being productive. You want to give back the kindness you were gifted with, you know that struggle and pain and don't want anyone to go through it. You know no one is looking out for you other than your community. The world can be so fucking cruel so that's why I can't be - I have to be the good I want to see in it.

Then take this kid that has the opportunity to do more than what he ever dreamed of? He can finally live instead of just survive. He can be the hero to the people that usually don't get that luxury of care. He can protect his community and build bigger ones. He can help people. As @autisticredhood said so brilliantly in this post: "he doesn’t care what the world will do for him he cares about what HE will do for the world"

Stripping that away from him changes everything Jason is. As a child and him being unfairly written off as the angsty Robin but aldo as an adult since it's such a key element to what his moral code is and how he operates as a hero. Jason Todd will always care. He loves so much and it's constantly dismissed and I hate it.

#rly just look at that post in general but #idk the entire flashback just immediately set me in a mood #im tired and angry and hurt and want justice for the most compassionate boy #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #robin ii #red hood #red hood: outlaws #if i have energy ill post more on Jason being poor impacts him as robin eventually #jason todd meta #posts from the crypt

[gardenofnoah]

like real people do

for @medusashima's rise of the dead collab. i blacked out and wrote this in like 4 hours because something about a fucked up prompt speaks to the grimy little freak that scratches around in my skull

wc: 1.8k ish. tags: MDNI, dark content, zombie!au, death. angst no comfort (unless you think cannibalism is comforting, i don't know your life), blood, graphic depiction of infection/injury, gn reader. read at your own risk thx love u

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a virus of unknown origin. researchers hypothesize that it was a spillover transmission event—the wrong rat stumbled across the wrong person at just the right time. some new, distant cousin of the rabies virus, with unexpected symptoms—most notably, the consumption of uninfected people by the infected. some suspected this was due to the genetic make up of the virus itself—it seemed to be fine tuned for longevity, and targeted specific motor functions controlled by the certain portions of the brain. this, combined with the rare psychosis symptom reported to be associated with rabies, may cause an uncontrollable compulsion to spread the infection, or, as others postulated, could convince the brain that uninfected bodies were a remedy for its suffering. 

at least that was the hypothesis, when the researchers were alive to articulate it. 

with the authoritative voice of science effectively silenced, there was more than enough room for conspiracy theories and hysteria to wiggle in and take hold. it was around that time that the media began to circulate the "zombie" rhetoric, and with no scientific name or official explanation (or government sanctioned placation) in place, an official zombie outbreak took shape. the violence that followed was as deadly as the outbreak itself, and served as another painfully efficient route of transmission. whoever lived through the war in the street died of the virus shortly thereafter. there'd been doomsday folks to warn of the end of times for as long as there'd been a time to be alive in. it was strange, then, when they'd fallen silent too. 

you and kento had joined in with a ragtag group of strangers early on—with strength in numbers, you successfully isolated yourself in an old, abandoned cabin in the woods a few miles south of town. you got lucky enough to have a few in your group that some construction experience—before you knew it, you had a fairly well reinforced fortress, where you could continue your game of chicken with death. from there, you could ignore the fact that fewer and fewer of your newfound troop came back with each expedition for food and supplies. 

there were books to read there, and if you let yourself, you could even find some joy in cooking meals with whatever kento could find in the pantry. he'd wake you up between moth-bitten sheets with breathless kisses, the two of you just grateful to have the opportunity of another day together. when he dragged you out of bed and twirled you around the creaky floorboards, you could pretend the apocalypse outside of your fenced in oasis was little more than a scary story. sprawled across his chest in the afterglow of some indulgence far removed from your reality, you could ignore the way death lingered on the outskirts of your camp. 

you could ignore it, until it was your turn to fetch the necessities. 

it was fine until it wasn't, as most things tended to be. you'd located a gas station that your group had missed on previous trips—a little farther out, but with how remote it was, it wasn't likely that it had been completely ransacked. if nothing else, you could figure out how to siphon any gas left in the tanks, and hope it was enough to get the old work truck left in front of your fortress running again. if you were mobile, your chances of survival would raise exponentially.

you'd tried to jimmy the door open with your shoulder as quietly as possible, but time and neglect had caused the wood frame to swell and distort around the metal. you grit your teeth when kento put a boot to the door. splinters of wood and glass shards flew as the scrape of metal rattled your bones. for a sickening moment, all was silent. and then you heard the screeching, and the dragging of rotting limbs against asphalt. 

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"fuck, fuck," you grit through your teeth, arms looped under his armpits as you drag him behind the checkout counter and into the first open door with the latch still intact. a storage closet, apparently.

you set him down for a moment, and it's—really, really not good. there's a deep laceration in his slide from a particularly nasty piece of glass. it's nearly eviscerated him.

you don't have the opportunity to fully process what that might mean—all at once, it feels like someone has lit your hand on fire. when you look down, you see a perfect outline of human teeth across the back of your hand. 

you reel back from kento. "oh fuck."

you have no idea what to do, looking around wildly as if the storage closet holds the answers to this god forsaken outbreak. and it might, you realize, when you spot an extension cord, coiled up on one of the shelves.

before you can even make sense of your own actions, you're tying one end of the cord to an exposed pipe sticking out of the brick wall, and the other around your neck. like this, your range of motion is just limited enough to keep you away from the door, and away from kento. 

but in your haste, you haven't packed his wound. he's going to bleed out at your feet. if you untie yourself, you're probably going to eat him. he's dead either way.

as if he senses your realization, he meets your eyes for the first time.

"where?" he rasps.

it's a moment before you can find your voice. "my hand."

he sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. "i'm so sorry, my love."

"why are you sorry?"

"it's my fault," he's too quiet, and far too uncertain to match the kento that's carried you through the last year of this outbreak, "i drew them to us."

you shake your head, but you're silent. wanting so badly to find the right words, and having a hard time getting your brain to catch up to the current moment. he was upright and steadfast, and now he's staining the tile beneath him. all in the matter of a few seconds.

"you need to untie yourself, love."

"no." you say firmly, barely giving it a second thought.

“you’re just going to watch me rot until you starve to death?” he laughs harshly, choking on it—sputtering a little. he takes a deep breath and he, despite you mentally willing him to stop, continues. 

“no,” he rasps, letting his eyes close, “don’t do that. you can have me—it’s okay.” 

“stop,” it leaves you with a groan, squeezing your own eyes shut and shaking your head, as if you could dislodge his words, “stop—” 

“this won’t end with you and i,” you hear him reach for you, limp arm dragging across the floor. he falls short—you can't bring yourself to meet him halfway, even if you had the range of motion to do it. “you know that, don’t you? locking yourself in here won’t change that.” 

and he just keeps talking, keeps prying open the wound you can’t see. "i just want you to make it out, my love. in case they can find a cure."

you can’t answer him. you want to laugh in his face, you want to scream at him and shake him. but you can't do anything—can't even tell him that you don't want to make it out without him, because when you look down at your hand again, you find that the tissue surrounding the bite has turned necrotic far too quickly—as if you were watching yourself rot, sped up or on loop. you know what comes next. 

you know you’re out of time.

the burn radiates up to your neck. your vision blurs a bit with the pain, and then with hot tears as it hits you—these are the final moments of your life. you wonder what you ever did to deserve to watch the love of your life bleed out in front of you. what could have been so bad, to then be forced to desecrate his corpse.  

“ken,” you choke, curling in on yourself, chin dropping to your chest. it’s an animal attempt at self-soothing—like a house cat that knows the end is here, you feel the instinct to isolate—to protect the others around you—even now. you are reduced to only primal senses: fear, grief, love. the need to survive. to ensure the survival of those you love, even in the final moments.

he’s fading just as quickly, but he’s stubborn. 

“c’mere my love,” he slurs, blinking slow, “it’s alright.” 

against all of your fleeting senses, you find yourself unraveling the cord from around your neck. if you looked down, you’d see that your arm is now blackened to the elbow. 

some part of you already knows, though, so you don’t bother. 

you’re focused on his face, through your tears—the blue eyes that hold yours despite the puddle of blood that you now crawl through. the smell is nauseating, but so is everything else about this—you feel it soak through your tattered jeans as you pull yourself toward him on your three remaining limbs. 

you stop when you’re over top of him, breathing heavy and dripping tears and drool onto his face. he doesn’t mind, and you’re not sure he can even feel it anymore with the way he’s looking at you like nothing about this is abnormal. 

“ken,” whispered, because one last secret between you is a luxury you feel entitled to, “i’m afraid.” 

“i know, my love,” there’s a soft smile on his face that wraps around your heart like barbed wire, “one more kiss? before we meet again.” 

“are you fucking crazy—” 

“please,” he croaks, and you see the fear mirrored on his face for the first time, “please. just one.”

you shake your head stubbornly and yet you reach for him, hands on both sides of his face. you ignore the way you see every one of your veins in your periphery, bold and darkened with decay, pulsing and searing as they trail up your shoulder. with the way you feel it creep up the side of your face, you imagine you have only a minute at most before the virus reaches your brain. 

“i love you,” he breathes against your lips, and you can taste it on your tongue—his love and his leaving, all in three words. if you were a better person, you’d let him go peacefully. 

you think you can feel it, then, when it hits your brain stem. latching on to every nerve, every synapse—choking the life—the willpower— out of you, one cell at a time. 

“please,” he rasps, and you don’t know if he’s begging for you to let him go, or if he's pleading with someone else, now. 

you don’t let yourself deliberate. you drag your lips down his jaw, vision spotty. you hover over the faint pulse of his jugular, hyper aware of how hard his body is fighting to keep him alive right now. feeling the fluttering of arteries, fighting to find something to circulate through themselves.

for a reason you hope you won’t have to justify if there is an afterlife, you open your mouth—whisper one last apologetic declaration of love against his skin—and you bite down. 

you bite until teeth touch teeth again. sinew shreds underneath, and you let it flood your mouth. you hear it when it starts—the death rattle, deep in his chest—and rip yourself away with a piece of him and squelch that should make your stomach turn, but doesn’t. 

he loved me, you think, forcing yourself to swallow. feeling him slide down your throat in some sort of sick last rite—an act of closure that suddenly feels fitting as he struggles to suck down one last breath. he loved me.

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this fic belongs to me (@gardenofnoah). i do not allow anyone to repost, edit, or reproduce this work.

#911? i've killed my husband please help #the way that i kicked my feet writing this #i want to write more of this #rip my mans though #nanamin #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #nanami fic #nanami kento dark fic #collab: rise of the dead #fic: like real people do

[shitposting4squares]

half life theory

So I saw this conversation between two people on discord, “You know, I realised something In Half Life 1, Gordon, a physicist, is the most dangerous thing for the army that came to kill the scientists (edited) Not the aliens, not the tentacles coming out of the ground that gibs everything No Gordon fucking Freeman is the biggest threat there” “i mean only because hes supposed to approach combat in a methodical/scientific way, as apposed to the monsters and military, the whole tagline for the first game was "run think shoot live", the combat and environments are presented like a puzzle so in that way of course a scientist is goin to dominate” And it got me thinking, you know what actually makes Gordon so unstoppable? Cus i dont think it’s the whole being a scientist thing. For one, he's outfitted with super science gear like the hev suit and experimental weapons. But more importantly, he’s got a massive supply of miracle cures from another dimension. Gordon wouldn't matter for jack shit if black mesa hadn't set up medical centers full of xen healing goop every 20 feet that let him learn from his mistakes in ways no other human soldier had the opportunity to do up until that point. I mean in the regular military, you generally don't get the chance to learn from the mistake of being shot. You just get shot once or twice and you're done for. And as for the theory I developed from this... This healing goo situation could actually be a great reason why g-man would have had to wait a few years to release Gordon again. He'd have to wait until the ant lion healing goop became ubiquitous across locations Gordon would have to travel through, so Gordon could effectively use his skills to speedily rip through locations like a human bullet. Maybe even poke at the threads of fate to ensure Gordon would have recovery tools when needed. Essentially gman and his associates being a level design game developer making sure Gordon has suit chargers and healing goop whenever things get hairy. And with him encouraging the development of the black mesa action protagonist format that was potentially refined not just through Gordon, but with Adrian Shepard, Colette Green, Gina Cross, and Barney Calhoun as well.

Like Black Mesa coulda been an outstanding experiment and proof of concept for a somewhat omnipotent being of how to create human torpedoes if ya really think about it. Learning what sort of conditions lead to humans becoming absurdly lethal super soldiers within the span of just a few days, and how to optimize this process. Not just in the sense of the real life developers of half life learning and growing from the franchise. But g-man and his mysterious benefactors, canonically, in universe, using the events at black mesa and all it’s expansions and spin offs, as practice for the events of half life 2, alyx, and eventually someday half life 3. Just the typical videogame format of having a power and skill progression could take on a new meaning if ya look at it from an in universe context rather than just a pretext for fun gameplay. Instead consider it as a semi-omnipotent being, learning that if you put a human far enough from something you want destroyed, manage their increase of skill and power by putting them through progressively more difficult situations one after the other, with liberal access to resources and fast recovery tools. Then within 2-4 days you’ll be able to hit your enemy with a powerhouse super soldier that seemed to come out of nowhere and they had little opportunity to prepare against because of just how quickly these humans are able to go from zero to hero in optimal conditions. And even though not all of the black mesa event protagonists have been guaranteed to have have survived, so long as they're able to achieve a otherwise impossible goal before their death, they would still count as data towards refining the black mesa action hero method and being able to replicate it to use against the combine. Like if you think about it, each of the half life 1 protagonists could fit in nicely as tests/proof of concepts for different tasks, and different kinds of optimizations for these so called hero types. Like Gordon is solo act/jack of all trades, Collett and Gina are a co-op duo (potentially helpful data for when gordon and alyx would have to work together in the future), Barney is specialized for escort quests of non-combatants, Adrian is a squad leader of more combat focused types, and Alyx is a backup jack of all trades and test to make sure that the system of having a human run a gauntlet of challenges optimized for their growth still works effectively in a post combine world. Could probably even measure when these environmental conditions of having frequent healing and the opportunity for rapid skill progression that comes along with it really came together in the post combine earth, by how and when Alyx was able to become a near unstoppable human badass in her own spin off game.

#half life #gman #Gordon Freeman #Alyx vance #adrian shephard #barney calhoun #theory

[alex-the-moss]

Sorry for another question(i think i should deal with it somehow), but i saw a new mini special episode with 14th(???) and i wanted to know your opinion on it, if you have watched it

That’s OK, you just gave me the right opportunity to talk about it! And there’s a long text) Most important take: change in appearance is not the problem, change in character is!

Regarding the episode itself: I find it aesthetically pleasing and it was kinda funny at certain moments, but I couldn’t help but think that for the sake of those jokes something more impressive have been mercilessly sacrificed. For example I didn’t like how much Doctor had interfered with the act of creation of the daleks. It neglects how personally important to Davros are his children and how overprotective he’s over them. The Doctor shouldn’t have been involved in the genesis of the most horrible race in the universe this much either. Also the choice of their name is a spit straight in the face for all BF fans. And there’s an issue with kaled clothes: Davros is dressed like a security commander while there’s no reason why someone who’d always put scientists above soldiers and politicians would wear a military uniform in his own laboratories. He looks like a part of the military elite, but ranks exist for a reason and hence there’re different uniforms to distinquish them from one another. Also you have to wear light colored clothes in laboratories to be able to notice immediately any dirt or if anything have spilled)

Now addressing the elephant in the room: uncrippled Davros. First of all: I do not mind the way he looks, except for the fact that character’s iconic look is lost completely. But I may find this appearance of his attractive too. His new face isn’t something overly tragic. The problem is about the timeline and the statement RTD made on the topic: Davros was never crippled. And just like that it means that Davros never had to survive the bomb, he is not in constant pain and he does not need any physical assistance. Which leads to a number of results: he doesn’t have a trauma from burning alive, completely changing the way he looks and then going through a medical hell with all its pain and restrictions; he never had to choose to live and carry on with his work, because he was never inferior to the kaleds due to his condition and hence he was never separated physically and socially from other "pure" kaleds by his condition; he also have never formed a special villain&henchmen bond with Nyder, bc half of his services and fanatical sensitivity to changes in Davros’ mechanical voice aren’t required anymore, as well as him being ready to follow a “crippled kaled". I feel like some people completely forget what the character development is. And most seem to not understand the peculiarities of it for a person with special needs that lives in a fascist society. That’s the biggest problem. It’s not the same character anymore. And the cherry on top: "new Davros" idea undoes the work of everyone involved in creating 6-disk BF audio series that tells the story of Davros as we know him (btw in BF stories his trauma was something that lead us to be able to experience empathy even towards Davros. And empathy is a good thing, you know)

Isn’t it also offensive that the bosses of the show speak as if the trauma of losing half of one’s body means nothing so you can just toss it out of character development. How many people with special needs are really OK with that idea? That their trauma and impact on their life it had is no big deal?

Then there’re good and bad people in every demographic. Saying that special needs people aren’t evil sounds pretty stereotypical to me. Also I’ve literally never heard anyone complain about Davros’ needing a life-support chariot before. But what a way to ruin a great character. Davros wasn’t even a person with special needs for the reason "the RTD statement" suggests. He was supposed to look like this, to emphasise how far away he’s from other kaleds while much closer to daleks, and to visually represent how he’d put everything he is himself into his creations. Bonus argument: he’s not even in a wheelchair. What people view as such is actually his life-support system that also allows him to move normally. The best part in my opinion: they said no bad guys with special needs and now we have NO REAPPEARING CHARACTERS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS. So why couldn’t they just stop creating villains that have special needs for the future episodes, leaving old ones as they were. For me you either do that or you go and re-film EVERY EPISODE OF CLASSIC WHO that contains, for example, SEXISM. And they could have included a full time compainion who is wheelchair bound or something.

Also Davros had appeared in New who two times or so. He isn’t around most of the time, there was no reason to mess with this specific character! 48 YEARS it has existed peacefully and no one cared

The money are the key to everything but I’m convinced that changing a 50yo design of a well known villain will not help the bosses earn more!

So the more you think about it from each perspective the less logical this decision seems. And this is what I dislike just as much as the fact that my favorite character won’t continue to exist. Because if he dies, at least tell me WHY

And all of this distraction bosses of the show have managed to squish in only five minutes! Daleks would envy them)

This episode was such a backstab overall! If given a choice I’d prefer Davros to never appear again at all(

This is absurd and insanity

#doctor who #davros #children in need #rtd2 #rtd2 era #dalek #kaled #The Doctor #14th doctor #genesis of the daleks #daleks #i davros

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Will happily fulfill your request, partially because I love your writing in general and partially because I love getting to see behind-the-scenes stuff like an author's thoughts, and you've become one of my favorites. Especially for ShigaDabi/ShigaDabiHawks. What made you HC Dabi as a sub/switch?

Thank you so much for your words and your service in opening this door for me. This is gonna be a long one.

So first off I think that Dabi has the least sexual experience of the three of them (ShigaDabiHawks). Shigaraki as you know from this post, had unsupervised time where he experimented, and Hawks was very likely put in extremely unethical situations like honeytraps by the HPSC since he was legal (if we're being charitable, but given the HPSC's moral background we probably shouldn't be). Dabi was in a coma through a good chunk of puberty and then trying to survive/keep his skin attached through the latter half. Probably didn't start experimenting until he was 18+. This is also why when I write him and Shigaraki, I almost always have him fumbling into a new kink because he just either a) did not know that was a thing or b) did not know that was a thing he's into.

I think Dabi takes to switching specifically because he's very adaptable. Like once he does start to hook-up with people he's just like, 'yeah I guess I'll try anything once', and figures out that both ways feel good enough and he just gravitates towards topping or bottoming depending on what his partner(s) seem to be expecting from him. If they seem to think that he's a confident badass villain who takes no shit and that all the leather clothing is just an aesthetic choice (and not also because leather has a pretty high burning point and also won't melt onto his skin like polyblends would (also also why his shirts are cotton and later silk in the PLF era)) then he tops. If they think that he's more suited for being a bottom for whatever reason then he just goes with that, it doesn't matter to or bother him.

As for why he's a sub, in my eyes, I think this stems from the fact that Dabi desperately, desperately wants to be seen and valued. I think he has tried being a dom and that is also fine, he can do it and having his sub's eyes on him is good and fine. But he doesn't really like it. And that's because it's another place where he's just trying to live up to expectations that he's put on himself and the expectations of his partner(s). When acting as a dom it puts nearly all the power over the scene in his hands and that means he's so focused on getting a good grade in dom (something both normal to want and possible to achieve /sarcasm) that he literally isn't enjoying himself.

Meanwhile, when he subs he literally is just there, in the moment. All he has to do is be present and follow the rules of whatever play has been established. He doesn't have to make any choices for himself and critically, when he fails to do something or meet the expectations of his dom, he can be punished for that or earn back their approval by preforming tasks or something else deemed appropriate. As someone who has been chasing approval and absolutely desperate to be more than the failure that he sees himself as, having concrete opportunities to be rewarded/punished by an outside influence is a massive relief, incredibly validating, and allows him to just let go.

I think subbing for Shigaraki, in particular, works really well for him because based on their League work Dabi knows 1) Shigaraki already values him as a competent powerful ally that he trusts with serious responsibilities, 2) Shigaraki is powerful in his own right, and 3) has already accepted Shigaraki as being someone he's comfortable taking (some) orders from. So when he subs for Duster it's an extension and heightening of those things, but he knows that it's a safe place to give up all of his control because Shigaraki is not going to treat him like shit as soon as they leave the bedroom.

I honestly could go on and on about HCs for how I think Dabi (and Shigaraki, and to a lesser degree Hawks) engage with specific kinks like 'why is Hawks a rope bunny?', 'is BDSM a fetish or a kink for Shigaraki and what is the difference between those terms?', or 'why does Dabi, someone desperate to be valued and seen, have such a strong humiliation kink in all of your writing?'. I love writing smut and thinking about kink as a way of doing character analysis which is why I focus so much on it in my works!

#thank you for indulging me anon! #tanco speaks #headcanon #ask #asks