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#he's going into compute error
shortnotsweet · 1 year
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Pearl of the Realm [Part 1, 2]
inspired by Twitter posts about Lucerys showing up to court in this pearl lingerie set and blowing Aemond’s virginal, incel mind to absolute smithereens, bringing him to his knees in a public space like the loser he is. I don’t know which Lucemond Twitter account talking about this specifically caught my attention, so lemme know/tag them if you do bc they got the gears in my brain TURNING ok I went into a trance and when I awoke, Luke dripping in pearls appeared. As he should. Also, fun fact, the reference pic had white pearls but I used Tahitian/black pearls instead, because Team Black, and also they’re generally more rare.
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@twincomets i present these pics as proof. I swear it happened and got confirmation that there is, indeed, a god in this universe! how exciting
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aeruthien · 1 year
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Royce: You're like family to me. You're the closest thing I ever had to a brother. Thank you for everything.
Hadrian: Please don't kill yourself, I'd be very sad if you did.
Royce: That sounds fake but okay...
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clickonmedotexe · 2 years
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The alternate pics. Can his eyes go full black? I don’t know but I love the idea of it.
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woylvesbane · 5 months
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Hoo boy, had a minor panic attack regarding my truck, thankfully we have a great mechanic and he was able to solve the issue free of charge. Phew!
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vanteguccir · 3 months
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Sleeping inside her | Matt Sturniolo
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Matt Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Where Y/N wants to be impossibly close to Matt.
Warning: Slightly smut, cockwarming.
Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
Part 2
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Y/N had an appreciation for all love languages, practicing each one individually with her favorite people, but it wasn't news to anyone that her favorite was physical touch. The girl loves to always be very close physically to the ones she loves, giving tight hugs and kisses on the cheek, valuing moments and people that allow her to act in such a way.
When Y/N fell in love with Matt, her love language was precisely what made her feelings for him apparent, her body always seeming to seek to be next to his, her hands lightly touching Matt's arms or legs as they interacted automatically, and that was exactly what encouraged Matt to take the first step.
After Y/N and Matt started dating and Matt stated many times that he loved the girl's way of showing her love for him, she felt comfortable enough to act however she wanted; Her body began to always look for his, now being able to sit on his lap on specific occasions, place her hand on his thigh or her arms around his waist, caressing the covered or, sometimes, exposed skin with her fingers.
Kisses became frequent, a quick peck on the cheek or forehead, simple pecks on the lips or a war of tongues. For Y/N, the closer, the better.
It is well known that physical touch between a couple increases the feeling of emotional well-being and even strengthens the bond, intimacy and connection, and for Y/N and Matt, it meant many things: love, passion, excitement and rest, too, a way to recharge their energy.
That's why, when Y/N finally entered her house after a long day of work, all she thought about doing was clinging to Matt. She reached blindly for the lock on the front door, placing her key there and locking it, before walking in the dark from her living room and down the long hallway, until she reached her bedroom, which she shared with her boyfriend.
The girl knocked twice on the door, before slowly opening it. Her face lit up when her eyes found Matt sitting at the computer desk located in the corner of the room, his headphones on top of his head, muffled melodies of some Dominic Fike song coming out, while his fingers blindly typed words, his blue eyes fixed on the screen where a Word document was open. Y/N assumed he was writing some video idea for the triplets' channel or his personal channel, which he hadn't appeared in a long time.
Y/N closed the door behind her carefully, not wanting to scare Matt with a loud noise, thanking in her mind that the lights in the room were low. The girl placed her bag on the floor before walking towards her boyfriend, lightly touching his arm to show that she was there, finally gaining the brunette's attention.
Matt lifted his head, lowering his headset automatically, his eyes focused on the girl's face, a big smile stretching across his own.
"Hi baby, I didn't hear you coming." The boy whispered, Y/N smiled back, wrapping her arms around Matt's shoulders and pulling him against her, wanting to be close. The boy wrapped his own arms around her waist, taking advantage of the position created by her, while he laid his head against her clothed belly, being able to close his eyes for a few seconds and rest his mind.
"I came in slowly, 'didn't want to scare you." Y/N whispered back, leaning down a little so she could kiss the top of Matt's head, her hand stroking the area gently, smiling as she heard a contented sigh escape her boyfriend's lips. "Have you showered yet?" She asked, the fresh scent of soap answering her question.
Matt shook his head positively, looking like he didn't want to move, his computer task already forgotten.
"Turn off the computer, sweetheart. I'm going to take a quick shower and then we can go to bed." Y/N asked in a low tone, kissing Matt's head once more before pulling away, laughing at the boy's grumbling.
Y/N walked to the bathroom, taking off her jacket and throwing it on a corner chair on the way, finally being able to undress completely when she reached the small room, throwing her clothes in the laundry basket before getting into the hot shower.
Her shower was quick, her anticipation of finally being able to lie down with her boyfriend getting the best of her, and before Y/N knew it, she was already finishing drying herself off. The girl hung her towel, now damp, in the proper space inside the bathroom before leaving, the cold wind from the room meeting her naked body, making her shiver. Y/N started walking to their closet, but stopped halfway, an idea popping into her head.
She turned around with an lazy smile, walking quickly towards the door, her hands stopping on the latch and turning the key, locking it, finally being able to go to her bed where Matt was already lying under the covers and shirtless, ready to sleep.
Y/N went to her own side of the bed, lifting the blanket and laying down in the cold space from the lack of human heat, grateful to see that Matt was only wearing boxers. The girl let out a low laugh when she saw Matt's confused expression as his blue eyes runned over her body.
"What are you planning, hm?" Matt asked, turning sideways and facing her, running his large, cold hand around his girlfriend's waist, making her shiver, pulling her close.
"I need to feel you as close as possible today." Y/N whispered, looking him in the eyes. Matt quickly understood, cockwarming was not a new thing in their relationship, having discovered that they both liked it when Matt didn't take his cock out of the girl after a rough session, afraid of hurting his girl because she was too sensitive, staying there for a few hours while they talked.
"Are you needy, my love?" Matt asked quietly, lowering his hand that was still on Y/N's body to her thigh, caressing the area, pulling her impossibly close, smiling when he saw the girl sigh and nod, lowering his face enough to capture her rosy lips with his.
Their kiss was simple, just a movement of lips, no tongue involved. Matt knew that if he deepened it, the situation would take a different turn, and he was too tired for that right now.
Y/N smiled in pleasure during the kiss, her hand resting on Matt's chest, loving the contrast between her cold hand and his warm chest.
Matt broke the kiss, sealing their lips one last time before pulling away, appreciating the closeness of their bodies. Y/N took her hands to Matt's boxers, questioning him with her gaze briefly and finally lowering the piece of clothing after receiving a nod from the brunette, who raised his hips slightly to help her with her action, removing the piece completely with his legs.
Y/N opened the drawer of her bedside table and took the lubricant, opening the package and pouring some into the palm of her hand, closing it before bringing her smeared hand to her boyfriend's semi-hard cock, pumping him a few times as she watched his expression, blue eyes closing briefly at the sensation.
When the girl thought she had spread enough, she turned her body, facing away from Matt and stretching so that she put the lubricant back in the drawer, closing it. Matt took the initiative and took his hand to Y/N's leg, caressing the skin and pulling it up, his free hand taking his cock and directing it towards the girl's intimacy, inserting the head of the member into her hole.
A soft, breathy sigh left Y/N's mouth, her eyes closing in sudden pleasure. She bit her bottom lip to keep any noise from escaping as Matt slid his entire length into her.
Once fully inside, the brunette lowered her still raised leg, his right arm passing under Y/N's head carefully while his left arm wrapped around her waist, burying his face in his girlfriend's neck, holding himself back from moaning.
Matt loved the feeling of being inside Y/N, along with the heat of the sticky walls that squeezed his cock so deliciously, pulling him deeper inside, if that was even possible. The girl tried her best not to move her hips, remaining still.
Matt ran his tongue between his lips, wetting them while he also controlled himself by pressing his chest against her back and pulling air through his nose, loving the smell of the body cream and soap that exuded from Y/N's bare skin.
His blue eyes closed, feeling warm and comfortable. The girl pulled the blanket higher, preventing the cold air from the room from reaching their bodies, delighting in the feeling of Matt inside her and the warm bed, finally being able to rest in peace.
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Part 2
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bangarangdarling · 11 months
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blame the “hitting on your mom as a punishment” tiktok i just saw that literally blew my brain up. established because they’re disgustingly in love and because i say so
Eddie would normally consider himself pretty immune to the roar of arguing teenagers. Chaos surrounds their little Party. They’re not a quiet bunch when all together. It’s all shoving and yelling, giggling and roughhousing. Carpet-burned battle scars from the floor of Steve’s living room.
Lord knows Eddie himself wasn’t an inside-voice kind of person. He was certainly wont to standing on coffee tables and screeching demands for the remote when it was unjustly stolen away by villainous hands.
Eddie loved these people to death, and they were a lot of fucking fun to hang out with, it’s just this...this was an unreal level of noise. A normal sleepover night turned a little too rowdy, the adolescents celebrating the start of Summer with a bang.
Steve had already asked them to keep it down four times this evening. Nothing seemed to calm them. Not requests. Not threats of being sent home. Usually their Dungeon Master threatening their characters’ souls did the trick, but no go. 
Getting teenagers to listen? A feat more impossible than defeating creatures from an alternate universe. 
Dustin and Erica were in a bitching match about the best D&D class. Lucas and Mike had been fighting over movie choices for the last half hour. Eddie’s money was on the VHS player breaking before that, the constant mishandling and shoving of tapes had the poor thing practically smoking.
Will, ever the diplomat, was trying to be an impartial party when asked his movie opinions. Which, of course, caused more yelling. 
Max and El had been the only ones being semi-quiet, but that quickly ended when they followed through on their surprise attack pillow fight, pummeling the boys senseless and causing the already unbearable volume to kick into overdrive. Eddie could practically feel Steve’s migraine building, even from where the dude had retreated to the kitchen. Dinner had been pizza. Quick. Easy. Clean. Or, it would have been if it hadn’t had been for the food fight. Steve was still in there scrubbing cheese out of his parents’ tiled backsplash. Dishes clattered in the distance when the cacophony hit its crescendo. 
It was the proverbial straw. 
“Alright, that’s it! Hey. Come on, guys. Knock it off,”
Nothing. 
“HEY!”
He maybe overdid it that time, but the absolute ear-splitting boom of a yell he let out stopped the ruckus dead. 
Silence rang for a beat.
Huh. Maybe Eddie should try out incorporating that into his music. He honestly hadn’t known he could get to that range. 
The teenagers in the room stared at him, not cowed in the slightest, but curious enough to know what the hell Eddie’s problem was. Max was the first one to quirk an eyebrow at him.  “Geez, need attention much?” 
Eddie folded his arms to show he meant business. “Steve has asked you guys to tone it down. You’re waking the fucking dead. Why don’t you guys, like, actually go be good human beings and help him clean up your mess you all made in the kitchen, huh?” 
Lucas snorted. “Yeah, okay, mom. Why don’t you go help him, you guys will probably just make out in there, anyway.” 
It was a teasing comment. Meant to jokingly rib before getting back to doing whatever the hell they wanted to do.
But, see. That just gave him an idea. 
Never let it be said Eddie couldn’t be creative with his punishments. He was a DM after all. 
“Alllllllright. New plan. Listen up or suffer, ankle biters,” 
He really didn’t appreciate the snickers that brought about when he was trying to be intimidating. Rude. 
“You going to send us to our room or something? I’m real scared,” Erica’s scathing, dry wit was unparalleled, truly. 
“Nope. Better. It’s a new rule: You little shitheads give me attitude and don’t listen, I hit on your babysitter.”
It was silent for a minute, brains audibly computing that statement and coming up ERROR. Will hesitantly spoke up. 
“Uh, Eddie, I really don’t think that’s--”
“Yeah, what the fuck?” Mike interrupted. “Why would you beating up Steve hurt us? I mean, like, I guess it would emotionally, but that’s fucked up, man.” 
Eddie rolled his eyes, still smirking wickedly as his plan solidified.  “Oh, I don’t mean that kind of hitting, young Wheeler. Though, it may yet get physical--Hey, Steve?” He called out. The sink in the kitchen shut off after a second.
“Yeah?” 
“Can you come here?” 
The kids shuffled around on the floor warily as the other man walked into the living room. The energy had obviously shifted, it was probably an odd vibe to walk in to, but Eddie cut Steve off before he could ask any questions.
“You tired?”
“Uh, no. I’m fine--”
“It’s just you just keep on runnin’ through my mind constantly. I figured you’d be exhausted, sweetheart,” Eddie purred, the words cloyingly sweet and full of exaggerated charm. 
There was a countdown, three, two, one...
A collective groan let out. A few uncomfortable laughs.  “Dude, what the hell?” 
“You guys agreed not to be gross in front of us!”
“Oh, my god, can I actually get sick from how cheesy that was?” 
Eddie had to work at keeping in character when his very first line had pulled the intended reaction. He was already reaching forward to curl an arm around Steve, pulling him in in a slow, sultry attempt at being smooth. 
“What? Can’t I be sweet on my guy? You all will understand when you’re in love one day. Right, sugar?” 
Fake gags and retching sounds, too dramatic to be real protests, but still indignant and annoyed. Eddie was pretty sure Dustin slapped a hand over his eyes.
“Uh...yes?” Steve, who had previously looked like a car accident had happened directly in front of him, was catching on to the play. He eyed the disgruntled floor-children with a growing grin and let Eddie snuggle up to him.
God, his baby was so clever. He always knew what Eddie was thinking. 
Too busy having a non-verbal conversation with Steve on how to best annoy the kids, Eddie didn’t see Mike turning his attention back to the tv. He did, however, hear him telling the others to “Just ignore them, they’ll get all gushy and leave us alone.” 
Oh, Michael, Michael. Wrong move. 
“How you doing, babygirl?” Steve flushed, deep and red and--huh. Okay. Revisiting that one in the future. “You good? You need anything? Your head hurting, sweet thing? I can kiss it better,”  Eddie ducked forward to kiss Steve’s cheek. It was chaste, a sweet little thing...that Eddie made infinitely worse by the smacking, obnoxious kissy sounds he emulated there. The chorus of groans and protests started up again. He didn’t even pull his face away to call over to them. 
“I’m sorry, is that attitude? Am I hearing more attitude?”
“Dude, Eddie, noooo!” 
“Jesus, it’s like watching your parents make out, oh my god.” 
“You guys, let’s just go already,” 
“Yeah, I’ll take washing dishes over this,” 
The grossed out teenagers whooshed past them. Grumbling and glaring--except Eleven, who smiled up at them sweetly--leaving Steve and Eddie standing in the living room, still wrapped up together. 
It was too tempting then, with the kids safely out of range, for Eddie to resist the temptation to drop his kisses a little lower down Steve’s neck. To let them get a little less chaste. Just a little.
What can he say? He’s a weak man. 
“That was evil,” Steve hummed. His shoulders dropped, though, relaxing into Eddie’s hold, the closest thing they’ve had to quiet all night settling in. 
“Hey, I accomplished two things. Got them to chill out and I get the perk of feeling you up in the middle of sleepover night. It’s a win-win.” 
A crash and a muffled argument broke out in the kitchen before Steve could respond to that. 
The audible scuffling was cut off by Eddie calling out “Your ass looks great in these jeans tonight, Harrington!” 
The fierce whispers and shushing were enough to get both of the older boys cackling loudly. 
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nonasuch · 1 year
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here is a fun little star wars scenario that has been pinging around inside my head like a screensaver:
so let’s say there’s some very zealous, very low-ranking fresh young Imperial officer on duty the day they take the Senator from Alderaan into custody. 
and he is very very nervous because a) he’s been here for like a week and b) none of that week required him to be in a room with Darth Vader. which he now is. so he is trying to focus very very hard on Doing Everything Exactly According To Protocol, as a means of not focusing on the seven-foot evil wizard standing fifteen feet away.
and part of the protocol for processing new prisoners is to make a new file for them in the prisoner database, and enter all their biographical details and vital statistics and a gene sample and their known associates and the nature of their terrible crimes against the Empire and so on. which he does! very meticulously!
except the computer keeps throwing an error message. the stupid thing keeps beeping at him, this awful grating little noise that makes his shoulders ratchet up tighter and tighter every time it honks at him, and he can’t fix it and Darth Vader is right over there—
except oh god oh fuck the beeping noise must be annoying Darth Vader, too, because he’s coming over here and our poor junior officer is convinced he’s going to die before he even lives long enough to send his first paycheck home to his poor widowed mother —
he stammers out an apology. Vader just stares at him. he swears he’ll figure out the problem right away, sir, it’s probably a bug in the system, it’s just that for some silly reason it keeps saying this gene sample doesn’t match the one on file for the Senator so he can’t get her logged as a new prisoner just yet —
“Dismissed,” says Vader. the poor kid flees, gratefully.
Vader considers the matter. in fact, his underling was correct: the gene sample, which he saw taken through his very own helmet lenses, does not match the official record of Senator Leia Organa, heir to the throne of Alderaan. so: perhaps the sample on record was falsified. not impossible, but very, very difficult. and ordinarily a crime attempted by the lowly and desperate. he cannot see any need for it, in the daughter of a queen.
another possibility presents itself. Alderaan has no history of using royal doubles, as some worlds do. but Bail Organa has worked closely with royal houses where the practice is long-established. perhaps he was inspired. perhaps the girl they captured is not Leia Organa at all.
Vader runs the gene sample against the ship’s database. it is woefully incomplete, of course, containing only a fraction of the Empire’s billions of citizens: the ship’s own complement, a selection of known criminals and Rebels they might encounter, high-ranking officials whose identity must be confirmed should the Emperor require their presence. unlikely that this girl, whoever she is, would have a record here, or even a partial match—
the computer beeps at him. it’s a cheerful beep, this time, not the error message that stymied the junior officer. the computer reports that the gene sample is a partial match for Pooja Naberrie, the Senator from Naboo. they are, with eighty-nine percent probability, first cousins.
and Vader just. kind of stands there. for a minute.
when he goes to Leia’s cell, there’s no interrogation droid with him. he goes in. he shuts the door behind him. he stands there, silent, for frankly a worryingly long time, until Leia has run through her entire stockpile of  “how dare you, I’m a member of the Senate on a humanitarian mission” and “whatever you want, you can’t possibly think I would be of any help” and “well, if you’re going to interrogate me, get on with it already” and “are you even listening to me?” and  falls silent herself. 
Vader has been listening to her. he has also been listening to the Force, which seems to think that she’s not lying. obviously the humanitarian mission part is bullshit, that goes without saying. but the “I’m Senator Leia Organa” parts and the “I won’t help you” parts? yeah. he searched his feelings. he knows them to be true. the Force is singing in his head, bright and clear, in a way it hasn’t for nearly twenty years.
there’s still Tarkin to deal with, though. Vader turns and leaves the cell without a word.
Tarkin wants to blow up Alderaan. this is unacceptable, obviously, and Vader forbids it on the grounds that the Queen and the Viceroy possess vital intelligence, not disclosed to their daughter, that must be acquired. said intelligence being, not that he’s saying this out loud, how the fuck Bail got his hands on his daughter, and who else knows about it.
“the fate of the galaxy rests on it,” is what he does say out loud. from the way the Force harmonizes with his words, that might even be true.
so the Death Star just. parks there. in an incredibly threatening orbit around the planet. they issue a demand that the Organas surrender themselves, or else, but apparently the happy couple just left for a low-tech weekend retreat in the mountains, what awful timing, they’re sending someone to fetch them right away. Vader shuts himself up in his quarters, to seethe and watch the surveillance feed from Leia’s cell. he’s not really paying attention to much else. 
and it’s not like a random freighter getting tractored in for being an incredibly obvious smuggling vessel is the kind of thing you’d alert Darth Vader over, anyway. 
so he’s still sitting there, one great big thought filling up his whole entire head, watching Leia take a frustration nap, when her cell door opens. 
and a trooper comes in.
and the trooper takes off his helmet.
and he says, “I’m Luke Skywalker. I’m here to rescue you.”
(continued here)
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underoossss · 10 months
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Completely Yours – Miguel O’Hara
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pairing: Miguel O’Hara x f!reader
warnings: non, it’s a good old fashioned hurt/comfort fic 💕
an: I had a lot of fun writing this, there’s nothing more comforting than a story where your love being in danger makes you realize you’re in love. anyway I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think ✨
masterlist
——-
“Ugh, Miguel, you’re brooding too loudly over there.” You groan, pausing the video playing on your tablet and looking at the tall man pacing on his platform.
It’s easy for anyone who knows you to hear the lack of annoyance in your tone, and rather the concern laced within each syllable. As far as friendships go, the one you have with Miguel is the most meaningful one you’ve had with anyone. There’s a sense of home and protection that falls between both of you whenever you’re together, at least on your side of things. You know there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you, and the same applies to you; he might be taller, stronger, and smarter but you’d protect him with your bare hands if necessary. The fact that you have a ridiculous and hopeless crush on him doesn’t help.
Setting the tablet down, you stand up and shoot a web towards the freakishly ominous platform before hauling yourself upwards. “Did they cancel your telenovela, hot stuff?”
Miguel’s back is turned to you, and he glances at you over his shoulder when you make your way towards him. “It’s more complicated than that.” He sighs and steps aside, gesturing towards the big screen in front of him.
“No internet connection up here.” You say solemnly; from where you stand you can tell the blinking letters on the screen are an error message –a failed code, but you’re not about to tell Miguel that. It would undermine his surprise when you whip out some smart rhetoric in a moment of need. “Tragic.”
“No, smartass, I’m trying to improve our algorithm, but I can’t figure it out how to do it yet.” Miguel’s eyes scan the screen, his hands placed on his hips and his weight settled on his right leg. You shift your eyes from his back to the error message and smile.
“Can I try?” You ask, concealing the mischief that possesses your body at the idea of getting under Miguel’s skin. “Maybe I can fix it.”
The fact that your grump of a friend steps aside to let you take a look at the code speaks on his stress. He’s tired, you can tell, the shadow under his eyes is darker today; he most likely didn’t sleep trying to get this to work. You shouldn’t make fun of it, you know that, and making a joke is not going to help fix this. But you also need you friend to relax before he gets a neck spasm. Miguel is grumpier than usual when his neck hurts.
You step close to the screen and analyze the code, it’s impossible to know what’s wrong at a glance –this isn’t your forte– but you pretend to. Biting your tongue to keep from laughing you tilt your head and hum. “I see what’s wrong.”
“What?” The sliver of hope in Miguel’s voice tempts you to abort mission and leave him alone. But who would you be if you didn’t annoy him?
“There is not a single legible word in this mess, babe.” You shake your head and place your hands on your hips as he always does. “No wonder your computer’s struggling, this is gibberish.”
“I thought you–” Miguel groans and covers his face with his hands staring up at the ceiling. “Por que yo? Por que yo? Por que yo?”
Naturally you start laughing, arms around you stomach when it begins to hurt. “Honestly, it’s on you. Crazy that you didn’t see it coming, baby.” The endearment falls easily off your tongue, all of them do, you gave up hiding how smitten you are a long time ago. It’s not like Miguel is ever going to act on it or make things weird. No matter how much it hurts you on the inside, this is a one-sided thing you’ve gotten used to.
Miguel turns to look at you, clear annoyance in the pinch of his eyebrows before it lessens when you smile at him. He sighs in defeat, shaking his head at you. “Why do I even let you come here?”
“Oh, come on.” You smile stepping closer to the edge of the platform and shooting a web at each opposing wall. “You were so stressed; I’m trying to get you to relax.” Making sure both webs are safely attached, you jump on the makeshift tightrope finding your balance at once.
Miguel’s amused, you can tell by the way his eyes seem to catch on your actions before he goes back to his computer. “This isn’t a game, the algorithm–”
“Is not as serious as you think either, try to relax. You should join my yoga class.” You shrug, jumping up and down on the rope before it snaps. Having seen it coming you shoot a web at the ceiling and catch yourself at the same time Miguel’s red webs pull you back to the platform and towards him.
“Cuidado.”
His eyes lock on yours, vexed at first before the shift into something softer when your arms go around him. You press your cheek on his chest, trying to push your affection onto him, let him know how appreciated he is. You hope the nano-tech allows it. “Sorry.” You mutter, voice muffled.
Miguel’s arms go around you and he holds you to him; you resist melting into his hold. “It’s okay, you were right.”
Those three words are enough to make you step back and look up at him, smirk on your face. “What was that?”
He chuckles under his breath and looks away. “There’s no way I’m repeating that.”
You’re about to say something else when you hear someone call from the lab’s floor “MIGUEL!!”
A chorus of voices follow the initial call, all coming from the lab’s entrance, and you’re quick to jump down and greet the three teenagers that walk in. “Careful guys, he’s moody today.” You warn with a smile.
“Same as always then?” Gwen says before all four of you giggle.
“This’ll cheer you up!” Pavitr says, before messing with his watch and sending something Miguel’s way. “Another mission complete.”
“So you did your job.” Miguel says once the platform’s closer to the ground. “Congratulations, here’s another one.”
Lyla pops up in front of Miles’ face and fixes her pink glasses. “New anomaly on earth 55. It’s a Vulture variant, Gwen takes point.”
“Why is she always the leader?” Miles complains, gesturing towards Gwen.
But the teenager ignores him and nods once, a determined look on her face before Lyla blinks away. “Let’s go.”
“Wait just one more thing.” Pavitr says, stopping Gwen and Miles on their tracks. “I have a question!”
“We’re full of answers.” You shrug before Miguel can shut down the kid. “Ask away.”
“Is there a monarchy on earth 928? It seems too futuristic to have one. Please tell me they got rid of it.”
“Other than the one in here?” You ask, a smile on your face as mischief makes another grand appearance.
Miguel mutters your name in warning, almost as if thinking you’d reveal the details of Miguel’s earth to the young Spider-Man. It makes you throw your hands up in mock surrender. “What? There is a monarchy here! I mean after all…”
Miguel turns to look at you, eyebrow raised and an unamused look on his face. The teenagers wait expectantly as well, until you open your mouth.
“You’re the king of my heart.”
Everyone groans at your bad joke, and you throw your head back laughing. Resorting to humor to let out all the feelings you have for the one you love, pathetic but necessary. Miguel sighs and turns back to his computer, but you’re almost sure he’s holding back a smile.
“Don’t you have work to do?” Miguel calls over his shoulder, arching a menacing eyebrow at the teenagers. It’s enough to make them scramble out of his lab, pushing each other to get to the entrance faster.
“Get ready,” Miguel then tells you. His mask covers his face once more, and you mourn not seeing his handsome face anymore. “Anomaly on earth 7832, you’re coming with me.”
“You got it baby.” You smile brightly, hopping onto the platform again and putting your mask back on.
“Come on.” Miguel huffs, but his tone is lighter than before. The hug helped, you smile in triumph though he can’t see it.
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“The anomaly is a goblin variant” Miguel explains once the two of you make it out of the portal. “We need to take him away from this dimension.”
As you look at the buildings around you, shiny and modern, Miguel keeps briefing you on the matter at hand. The Goblin is going to Oscorp, thinking he can have his revenge on those who wronged him. However, this Oscorp hasn’t wronged him, it might have before but the goblin from this dimension already took many lives years ago. Miguel needs your camouflage, as you’re the only Spider-Man with this power other than Miles –though you’d rather have his venom powers instead, they’re so much cooler.
“I need you to trail him.” Miguel turns to look at you and places a hand on your shoulder. “Lyla will track him for you, and I won’t be far behind. Just stop him before he gets there and… be careful.” The last two words are said with emphasis, and it makes you smile. He worries so much; it gives away just how much his heart feels.
“Careful’s my middle name, handsome.” You blow him a kiss before you swing yourself off the building.
“Oh really, most of your records might disagree.” Miguel tells you on your watch and you can hear that cocky smile on his face.
“I hope you caught my kiss.” You ignore his jab, smiling under your mask as you swing yourself upwards and let go, doing a flip mid-air and shooting another web. “Lyla, am I close to our guy yet?”
“Closing in.” Her voice comes from your watch. “Three blocks.”
“Better turn invisible.” Miguel’s voice follows, it’s more agitated that before which you know means he’s trailing after you. Though you’re not nervous, a sense of relief washes over you at the knowledge that he’s close. “And no more talking, this is a stealth operation.”
“Sure thing, baby cakes.” You agree, “Catch you in a bit.” You make sure you’re camouflaged one block before you intercept the anomaly, staying silent, and focused on the mission. That is, until you pass a lilac and orange storefront. “Oh that milkshake place closed last year! Can we go back, later. Please.”
Your voice is merely a gasp, but Miguel’s chastises you. “Y/N”
“I’m gonna take it as a yes.” You shrug before going silent once more.
You spot the Goblin when you turn the corner of the last block. He’s green and wears a yellow hood on his head, his glider looks a lot like wings with green lights on the bottom. The anomaly is heading for a window, to break into the building mode likely but your don’t let him.
Shooting a new web and launching yourself upwards, you kick his glider to destabilize him and miss his shot. He’s definitely confused at what happened and even more so when you shoot two webs at his feet and pull. “I’ve engaged the anomaly, where are you?” You ask Miguel, showing yourself to your opponent so he can follow you to the rooftop.
The Goblin is faster than you, especially with his high-tech glider —you’ve never seen one so advanced— and he snatches you from the edge of the building then proceeds to throw you on the rooftop’s floor.
“How rude.” You shake your head at him, camouflaging again and slipping underneath the floating board he’s perched on. You shoot your webs at the blue ventilation system, knowing it will overheat it until it explodes before a series of red ropes latch onto the equipment and pull it away from the Goblin’s feet.
You roll to your right to avoid his body falling on top of you, at the same time an explosion goes off in your vicinity. Miguel stands there, as the glider’s smoke clears behind him, head cocked to the side. “I’m here.” He states when you stop camouflaging.
“You know, you really have to work on your one liners.” You shake your head. “Miss me? Would’ve been a much cooler thing to say.”
Neither of you can do anything else as suddenly six explosives are thrown both your ways. In a second, you shoot your webs are them, pulsing the shooter three times to change the web’s pattern and create a net-like trap you throw to your left. “Excuse me, we were having a moment here?”
The empty parking lot on the neighboring building shudders at the explosion and that’s when the Goblin attacks.
You try to put up a fight, and so does Miguel but the Goblin stronger than you. Though you manage to get some good punches in, his are stronger and knock the air out of you. He’s fast, too fast for one person to catch up with him, and even with you and Miguel running yourselves ragged, it’s hard to keep up. His bombs run out eventually —you kept throwing them to the empty parking lot, which worsened his mood— and you can focus on keeping Goblin still. The issue is, that no matter how many webs you shoot at his limbs, he snaps them easily before going back to exchanging punches with Miguel.
You try to pin his arms one more time, but he sends you backwards with a kick to your stomach.
“CHUCHA!” You scream one of Miguel’s most common expletives, frustrated with yet another failed plan. “Okay. Babe, I have an idea, but you gotta help me out.” You tell Miguel, voice breathless as he struggles with the anomaly.
“Tell me.” He grunts, trying to keep Goblin from escaping the rooftop, if he reaches the door and gets inside there would be too many people to look after.
“I hold him still and you bite him; I think it’s the only way to cage him.”
When you see Miguel nod, you get to work. You begin by shooting webs to the side of the buildings, much like you did back at Miguel’s lab, before attaching them to the Goblin’s body. His arms and legs are next, which you manage to hold down by circling him until they’re tight enough that he can’t move. Miguel uses his red webs to hold him too, and the front of his mask disappears showing his teeth as he approaches the anomaly. But the Goblin’s stronger than anything you’ve fought before and in mere seconds snaps one web, then another, until suddenly and with an ear piercing scream he’s free and sending a well-placed blow to your chest that leaves you breathless.
You’re out of webs thanks to your plan as he stands before you —to finish the job you’re sure— but it’s hard to focus on anything other than your shortness of breath. Miguel’s voice is muffled when it reaches you as he tackles the Goblin, grabbing at his neck with his claws. You take the opportunity to take off your mask, gasping for air and trying to get your rising panic in check. It barely lasts though, because the anomaly gets away, slipping through Miguel’s clutches, and going back to you. His green claw snatches you from the floor, making you grunt in pain as he jumps to the other building. Next thing you know, the Goblin lets go of you between the two buildings and your stomach drops. You activate your web-shooters in the hopes that even the smallest bit of web can help you but it isn’t your lucky day. Your body is in free-fall and the wind mutes the words coming out of Miguel’s mouth.
All you manage to hear is his scream, a desperate sound, followed by him diving to rescue you without hesitation. You can sense how his mind goes over the million ways he can grab and not injure you. Not even his bright-red webs can help you, he’d snap your back in two or detach a limb. But he will help you, you’re sure of that. You see him get momentum from the building in front of you before he dives in your direction, arms tight to his sides to gain speed. Once you’re within reach, his arms go around you, enveloping you completely before he turns around so his body receives the impact as you crash through a glass window on the opposite building.
“Go get him.” You groan, body limp on top of his.
Your lack of comment on your position is enough to worry Miguel. He was expecting something that would make him roll his eyes and hold back a smile as he always does when he’s with you. If you wanted some alone time, you could’ve asked, big guy. Woah, take me out to dinner first, handsome. He can hear it so clearly in his mind that your silence at present causes a wave of anxiety to rise in his sternum.
“You’re hurt.” Miguel states, voice strained as he lies you down gently on the floor.
“I’ve seen worse.” You shake your head. “Go find him, I’ll catch up.” It’s a blatant lie, and you know Miguel can tell. He can see you’re barely awake, how you’ve turned a shade closer to grey, how clammy your forehead looks and a quick glance at your abdomen confirms his first guess. He thinks at once, internal bleeding.
He talks to Lyla through his watch but you can’t make out a single world after the system’s name because you’re trying really hard to concentrate on breathing. Since when do you have to think about breathing? You’re suddenly bathed in tangerine light as a portal opens behind Miguel, and though he’s still in a hurry to get you back to the Society, he takes his time as he picks you up.
The movement is gentle but you still whine in pain, a string of curses flying past your lips. “How do I say motherfucker in Spanish?” You ask Miguel as your eyes fall closed.
“It’ll be over soon. Just look at me, okay?” His voice is tight yet calm despite the disastrous turn the mission’s taken. “Don’t close your eyes, you have to stay awake.”
You open them weakly —it’s so hard to stay awake all of a sudden— and look at his illuminated profile. His chiseled jaw, beautiful but so tense you’re sure he’ll crack a tooth. You’re in pain, slowly feeling like you’re fading away into nothing, but you can’t bear to see Miguel so stressed.
“Hey,” You whisper, and he looks down, his expression softening. “It’s Guasha right?”
“What?” Miguel looks so confused you’d laugh if it didn’t hurt to breathe.
“The secret to your cheekbones, babe.” You mumble.
Miguel squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, not annoyed but something else you can’t figure out. “As if I’d tell you.” He tells you, rolling his eyes at you in that fond way of his.
He steps through the portal and a moment later you’re back at the society, spidermen walking left and right to their own dimensions and missions. Miguel’s quick to bring you to the med-bay, at least that’s where you assume you are until you pass out.
It turns out, you were put under so the Spider-Medics could operate on you. Everything’s fine, they reassure you when you wake with a start, a couple of needles pricking your skin. Your eyes search for a familiar tall figure, brooding, handsome, the light of your eyes, but you can’t find it. So, you let the doctors run their tests and give you their diagnostics without another word. It takes a whole day for you body to heal and feel better, all while waiting for Miguel to show up.
He doesn’t. Not once.
Once you’re dispatched with an all clear and a lollypop, you immediately open a portal back home. There’s no use going to see Miguel at his lab. If he doesn’t want to see you, that’s fine. You get it, you ruined his mission and he’s gorgeously pacing in front of his many computer screens. But there’s also the gentle way he’d spoken to you, the look he’d given you before you passed out… No, it’s just childish wistful thinking. You’re the last person he'd like to see at the moment. You’re sure of that.
When you get home, you’re quick to turn on the radio and sync it to the police channel. Maybe chasing some bad guys will clear your head, take your mind away from the heartache threatening to consume you –it’s even worse than your previously broken ribs. But you shower and change back into your suit and no such luck; not even a small robbery to stop. With nothing else to do, you go up the fire escape and to the rooftop just in time to see the sun set in the horizon. It bathes your New York in orange; it’s not nearly as modern as Miguel’s but it’s loud and fun regardless.
“One would think that after that fall, you’d avoid heights for a while.” Miguel’s voice comes from somewhere behind you but it doesn’t startle you.
“Occupational hazard.” Is all you say, staring ahead as your heart aches in more ways than one; for your own feelings and his likely regret of bringing you along to Earth 7832. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
You refuse to look at him, guilt eating you up from the inside out. “Miguel, I ruined your mission.”
“You didn’t.” Miguel sighs. “Why would you think that?”
You huff, then look down at your hands and twist your gloved fingers. “I know you’re mad, don’t lie to me.”
You hear him approach you, his footfalls getting closer before he places something next to you. You look to your right and see it, the lilac paper cup with the orange logo and white straw. What? You take it in your hand and examine it in the sun. “Is this?”
“They closed a year ago, right?”
You turn then, and the sight of Miguel standing there increases your yearning tenfold. He’s bathed in orange light from the sunset, it casts sharp shadows on one side of his face as the wind tousles some rogue strands of his hair. It should be illegal really, to be so beautiful you bring people to tears.
The worst thing is that he’s not mad, you can tell by the way his jaw isn’t tense like a day ago. His brows are relaxed, and his eyes scan your face as if drinking you in. It makes your eyes tear up, much to his shock. If he’s not been angry at you, then he didn’t go to see you because he doesn’t care. You thought you were good friends, despite him trying to conceal it; he’s let you hang out with him all the time, never once has kicked you out of his lab, has taken you with him to multiple missions. Yet…
“You left.” You murmur tearily.
Miguel sighs and sits next to you, his back to the sun and his hands falling between his legs. His shoulder hunch, as he shakes his head. “Do you know how close you were to…”
“They said everything was fine.”
“You almost died.” Miguel’s voice isn’t loud but the pain with which he murmurs those three words make you grimace.
“Oh.”
Miguel shakes his head. “I was scared to lose you.” His right hand reaches for yours and you take it, moving the milkshake to your other side to scoot closer to him. “I might be strong, but not when it comes to seeing you in pain.”
“And after that?” You turn to face him, big fat tears fall down your cheeks, and Miguel wipes them away, setting your skin on fire and comforting you at the same time. “You still didn’t come. I thought we–“
“I was thinking.” He tells you softly, a hushed confession.
“Of course you were.” Even though you’re confused by his words, a grin makes its way to your face. He’s ridiculous. “About what? the multiverse perishing ‘cause of the bad guy we let escape?”
Miguel shakes his head before holding your chin between his thumb and index finger “The fact I was so overtaken by fear when you got hurt I could barely think; that I can’t live without you; that I’m completely yours without even knowing when it happened.”
“You’re mine?” You question, eyes widening in surprise, heartbeat raising at the same time as your hopes with his words. “You mean—”
“That I love you?” He chuckles at your expression, his eyes looking at yours fondly; “According to Lyla, everyone knows I do but you. I thought the milkshake would give it away.”
“Miguel, I thought I was the obvious one. I’m always —”
“You were, baby, you were” Miguel’s hand slowly moves to your cheek, eclipsing it in size as your body lights up at the endearment. “I was hesitant but I’m not anymore.”
“So you got me a milkshake.” You smile, widely this time as you move even closer to him. Damn this man and his acts of service love language.
“I would get you whatever you want, you know that.” Miguel’s voice drops to a whisper at your proximity, his hold on your cheek pulling you closer to his face.
“And you looove me.” You tease him, brushing your nose tenderly against his; there’s nothing you’ve wanted more than to shower him with all the affection you have for him. It turns out you have a chance to do it after all.
He rolls his eyes with nothing but adoration, and love. “Never stood a chance.”
“Wish it didn’t take falling to my death to tell me, hot stuff.” You murmur, brushing your lips against his, drunk with your feelings and the idea of loving him freely, no jokes needed. “You’re the one that bites out of both of us.”
Miguel chuckles and you lean close, closing the gap between you and kissing his lips like you’ve dreamed of for a long while. Your hands move to his hair as you pull him closer and a noise gets caught in the back of Miguel’s throat. His own hand on your cheek tilts your face to the side before his tongue brushes your bottom lip to open you up to him. There’s no testing the waters, no hesitation. No, this is something you’ve clearly wanted for a long time and after the events from yesterday’s mission there’s no way you’re delaying this anymore. You sigh into his mouth, intoxicated in the best way from the taste of him, coffee and something sweet that makes you gravitate even closer to him.
You’re left dizzy and happy beyond words when you part, your lips chasing his for a moment before you press your forehead against Miguel’s.
“Hermosa,” Miguel murmurs. You can feel his eyes on you as he ghosts his lips across your chin, your cheek and jaw, as your mouth shifts to a grin. No one but you knows your moody vampire is so loving.
You move to sit on his lap, your side to his front, smiling widely at the content look you find on his face when you look up. Completely unguarded, for you.
“Okay moment of truth.” You announce, reaching over and taking the paper up in your hands. Your hands cover your face as soon as you take a sip, the creamy chocolate taste coating your mouth and releasing endorphins to your system.
“What?” Miguel asks, his protective mode rising to the surface for a moment before you smile. It makes him shake his head.
“Ohmygod, I missed this so much!” You cry out, taking another sip and sighing in content. “Might have to pop by and get another one every now and then.”
“If there’s another mission there maybe,” Miguel concedes, arms going around your waist to pull closer. “Maybe.”
“You did it though.” You remind him, cheek resting on his chest, making your words come out muffled.
“I’m in charge,” He shrugs, self-assured smile clear in his tone.
“You’re no fun.” You sink against his chest, breathing him in and taking in his warmth. Until a memory flashes in your mind, making you light up and look at him again. “WAIT. Was that a joke earlier?”
—-
*por que yo? (why me?)
*hermosa (beautiful)
*cuidado (careful)
*chucha (common curse word, kind of like yelling shit! Or fuck!)
3K notes · View notes
xob1tchs · 7 months
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〈 freaks! — stiles stilinski
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warnings; somnophilia (sex when one person is asleep), dubcon, handjob, minimal talking, slight dirty talk, squirting, unprotected sex, cream pie.
taglist; @normsdaughter-alt @f4yerite @skyesthebomb @love4ldr @slut4drudy @certified-stargirl @thievin-stealing @creepydollie
a/n; this was only edited once, so my apologies for the grammar and spelling errors bound to appear. hope y’all like 💞
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You sigh heavily, dragging yourself up the stairs to your boyfriends dorm room, backpack adding a weight to your already aching shoulders. Your eyes are heavy, sore from hours spent staring at your computer screen.
You smile at the students that pass you, looking equally as drained, exam season might just be the death of you.
Twisting the knob for stiles door, you slip in quietly, not bothering with the lights, letting your backpack hit the ground with a thump. You can hear sheets rustling as you creep towards his bed, blinking to see sleepy stiles smile up at you, you yawn quietly.
“Hi baby, don’t wanna wake you”.
You shimmy out of your pants, kicking them towards the over spilling laundry basket in the corner, reaching under your shirt to unclasp your bra. Stiles scoots over opening the covers so you can slip in — enveloping you in his arms and duvet. It doesn’t take long for you to drift off to sleep.
You stir sometime after you fall asleep, blinking groggily, turning beneath the covers. Sweat has caused your shirt to cling to your bare skin, legs squishing together with an uncomfortable heat — pleasure stirring in the pit of your stomach. You frown, chewing your bottom lip, squinting in the darkness at stiles side profile. Moonlight cascades over his face, peeking through the blinds, just enough for you to see his peaceful face.
You fidget, fingers trailing down your shirt, toying with the hem. Skeptically you ponder your options, peeking at stiles under the covers, eyebrows knitting together as you trail down his toned torso, to the waistband of his sweats. What would he do?
You’re careful as you reach over to his body, fingertips gentle, skimming over his abdomen. You watch his face for any kind of reaction, but he seems completely knocked out. Your knuckles slip into sweatpants, gasping at the lack of boxers, fingers immediately greeted by the thick base of his cock. You swallow thicky, drool pooling at the back of your throat. Heat stirs in the pit of your stomach, and you whine to yourself gently.
Shifting to your knees, you use your free hand to tug the covers down his body, tugging his cock free from the constraints of his sweats. You watch as his face shifts, lips parting in a tired huff, eyes still closed nonetheless. You jerk up his length, fist tightening around the head, precum beading out, slipping past your knuckles. Glancing to his face one again, you lean forward, trying your best to keep silent as you let spit gather on your tongue, before you spit onto his tip, flattening your palm against the slit, coating him in your saliva before you tug it down the rest of his length. By the third tug, he is hard in your palm, veins prominent as you continue to jerk him off. Wetness continues to pool in your panties, breath becoming heavy in your chest. Fingers curling around the thick base, you squeeze tightly, milking him, licking your lips as you cum dribble down his length, running over your knuckles.
Stiles whines under his breath, hips jutting into the air, pressing the side of his face into his pillow. His torso caves in. You flinch, glancing at his face, relieved to see his expression go lax again, eyes still kept closed. You let go of him, licking the drying cum from the back of your hand, humming under your breath.
Carefully maneuvering your legs over his, you place your hand on the wall in front of you, using your free one to tug your panties to the side, hovering over the tip of his cock. Nerves gather in the pit of your stomach, chewing your lip, you watch his face as you lower yourself down. The tip protrudes your hole, burning as you sink down, stretching with reluctance due to the lack of prep. The first noise stiles makes is a low and deep whine, eyes clenching together tightly, face winding up in pleasure. But he doesn’t seem to wake. So you settle comfortably on his length, doing your best to keep quiet, evening your breath despite the feeling of his cock stretching you open.
Your pussy is so wet that when you rise up, and fall back down, it squelches, wetness coating the bare skin above his cock. Splashing out with every move you make, you start to lose your strength, already so close to cumming. You tug your shirt up your body, stuffing the fabric between your lips, muffling the grunts and groans from your lips. Blinking down at stiles face you can’t help but whine out even louder at seeing his peaceful face twitch in pleasure, soft pants escaping his lips, fingers twitching by your knees on either side of his hips.
Trailing your free hand down your bare torso, you spread your labia folds wide, pinching your clit between your fingers, crying out at the feeling, knees buckling as an unexpected orgasm washes over your body, making you stumble forward as wetness spurts out around the base of his cock, covering your thighs and his sweats in the milky liquid.
This wakes him, a groan ripping from the back of his throat, hands clasping your hips, squeezing the meaty flesh, forcing you to stay in place.
“fuck baby, thought i was dreaming” he groans into your hair, hips jutting up gently, making you cry out from overstimulation. he smooths his hands over the skin of your back, before he digs into your ass, kneading the soft skin, rocking you back and forth on his cock just enough to have you clenching around him.
you place your palms on his chest, lifting your body up just enough to be able to look in his eyes, lips forming a pout “wanted you bad, sorry baby” squeezing your eyes tight in pleasure you let your body slump back into his embrace.
He hums thoughtfully, thrusting up into your cunt again, rocking his bed beneath your bodies. You whine into his chest, nails digging into the skin of his shoulders, spit staining his bare skin.
He continues his pace, ruthless, ignoring all the pleas you make, forcing you to babble nonsense into his chest, chuckling at your small voice inel between moans and crys of pleasure.
You can feel his cock pulsate, deep in your pussy, rocking against that spot that makes your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You shift your face to look up at him, tears welling along your lashes “stiles baby, im gonna cum again” you warn, clenching when he coos down at you, fingers tangling in your hair, massaging your scalp in a gentle manner compared to the pace of his hips.
He sits your bodies up, cradling you in his hold, cock buried deeper between your walls, wetness gushing down his balls. You limply wrap your arms around his shoulders, knee’s aching when you start to meet his thrusts, bouncing up and down on cock roughly.
Your pussy suctions around him like a vice, almost too tight to take him even still, but it makes it easier to feel every ridge and vein, the way he twitches and jumps inside of you, not as obvious on the outside but equally as gone as you from how his cock feels. He cradles your jaw, forcing your head back, mouth open wide, louds whines and whimpers filling the space of his dorm room. “Want you to cum baby, cream all over my cock” his voice is gentle, way too sweet despite the crude words. It makes you cry out, rapidly nodding your head, slurring a string of ‘yes’ out before your body goes limp in his hold.
Your mind completely blanks, a ringing in your ears causes your head to pound, orgasm your knees give out, sending both of you back down to the mattress with a loud thud.
The only thing that brings you back is the grunts and moans stiles let out, warm seed spilling inside your pussy. You smack your lips, panting like a dog as you support yourself on shaky arms, blinking down at stiles as his eyes flutter open.
“Shut the fuck up, freaks!” Comes from the other side of his wall, along with a pounding that makes the pens and other stationary on his desk rattle.
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sexhaver · 3 months
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there's this really cool phenomenon that happens sometimes with computer-illiterate people (especially on the internet) where they'll ask me/someone else with a CS degree how to do something relatively complicated/nonobvious, like commenting "how do i download this file" directly on a github repository, or bailey asking me to get her Skyrim installation with upwards of 50 mods that have not been updated in months to launch without throwing a fatal compatibility error, or someone at my old job asking why our proprietary software wouldn't launch after he updated a robot drive; and when the CS person in question starts explaining using basic industry-standard terms like "driver" and "command line" they get snappily told that not everyone knows fancy computer jargon like they do, so they slow down and define every single basic term as they encounter it, which takes forever (especially via text/over the internet) and inevitably results in the other person going "wow that sounds way too complicated for me", and eventually the CS person gets tired of having to explain networking troubleshooting procedures as if to a toddler, and they tell people to just google the terms they don't understand to find a better explanation online than whatever they (the CS person) would have written, at which point the computer-illiterate person goes "wow, this is why everyone thinks tech bros are so stuck up and elitist". yes i worked in tech support for a year and a half why do you ask
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kikyan · 7 months
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Confession
CW: Yandere content means yandere content y’all, stalking, dub-con/non-con, masturbation, disgusting themes, panty stealer, fingering, oral (receiving), overstimulation, breeding themes(slightly?), creampie, power bottom Idia, slight masochist Idia, kidnapping, shit ass writing, I think that’s all, etc… 
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland 
Character: Idia Shroud x GN! Reader
Word Count: 7.2K words 
A/N: This is a birthday fic for one of my IRL besties, an Idia simp. Another thing, this is a yandere blog so it’s not canon to their personalities at all but more my interpretation of them if THEY were yanderes. So take that as you will! This is with a GN reader so there is no anatomy assigned or pronouns other than they/them (I did proofread it but lmk if there are any errors!)
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‘ Click’ 
‘ Click’ 
Yellow eyes darted across from the screens as he was looking at the contents. Classes were over and his homework was completed quicker than he used to have it done. He was still a housewarden with duties and responsibilities after all, besides he needed the rest of the day free to partake in his favorite hobby. Stalking [Reader] of course. He could access several cameras from different angles as he attempted to track them down. 
‘ Where are they? Their class ends around this time and they usually stay a bit longer in the classroom to wait for the freshman and Grim. They’re taking too long. . .shit! Did I miss them? Did they already leave?’ 
Idia frantically typed away at his computer to try to locate them. After a couple of tries, he found [Reader] and Grim, with the freshman of course, walking out of their classroom. Sighing in relief, he continued to observe as normal. Unfortunately, these cameras were limited as they had no audio but it would do for now. 
‘ So they DID stay longer in the classroom. Phew, good thing nothing has changed so far.’ 
The screens were the only source of light in his room as his lights were turned off. He didn’t have any club activities today so he there was no need to leave his room. He sat on his desk chair while holding his knees to his chest. Raising his thumb to his mouth, he bit down on the tip of his nail. How did it come to this? 
~
“We’re going to be late! Crap, where is the housewarden?”
“Doesn’t he have his club? Do you think we can leave it with Ortho?” 
“Uh maybe. . .man why did Professor Trein dump this on us? If only Idia attended in-person classes, but oh well. Oh, wait-[Reader]!” 
[Reader] was walking through the hallways, but turned when they heard their name was called out. There were two students, from the Ignihyde dorm looking stressed. 
“Yes?” 
“Sorry for this, but could you do us a huge favor? Professor Trein asked if we could drop these papers with Houseward Idia, but we can’t find him! Not to mention, we’re already late for our club activities enough as it is! We’ll make it up to you, promise!” 
“Hm, sure I don’t see why not. Not like I have anything better to do, give them here.” 
Sighing in relief, the students wasted no time in handing the documents over to [Reader]. 
“Gosh, you’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much, both Grim and your meal are on us!” 
The students turned and ran off to their club. Leaving [Reader] alone. 
“Grim would appreciate that, it sure saves me money for one day knowing his appetite. Anyways, just where is Idia?”  
[Reader] debated going over to the hall of mirrors and just entering the Ignihyde dorm but they decided against it. It would be too much work if Idia were still on the main campus grounds and they were in their dorm. Was Idia even in a club? If he was, it would be worth it to check some classrooms in case he was. Thinking back on it, it wouldn’t seem likely but it didn’t hurt to check. [Reader] had been walking for about 20 minutes, popping inside classrooms just to survey the area. To no avail, Idia was not in the classroom. 
“Just where could he be? Maybe I should head over to his dorm. Oh, hey Azul!” 
Azul was walking on the opposite side and [Reader] ran up to meet him. 
“Ah, [Reader]. What a coincidence, I would have figured you had returned to your dorm by now.” 
“Normally I would have, but I’m helping some classmates drop off some documents. Hey, this may be a stretch but by any chance, do you know where Idia might be?” 
“ Idia? Oh why, yes I do. He’s still in the classroom. We just finished up our game board club meeting. He lost to me so he’s staying back to finish cleaning up. Why?” 
“He’s the one I’m dropping the documents off to. So, where is the club room?” 
“ Down the hall, turn right and it’s the second door on your left.” 
“ Thank you, Azul! I’ll see you around, kay?” 
“Of course. If you however require my services sooner, you know where to find me.” 
“Nice try, but at the moment I’m not interested in making a deal right now.  Maybe later if I forget to study for an exam.” 
“But of course, take care.” 
Azul left back to his dorm, leaving [Reader] to seek out his directions to the club room. When they arrived, they opened the door to see Idia sitting at the desk on his phone. 
“Oh hey, Idia-” 
Idia jumped in his desk, whipping his head around to stare at [Reader] in a frazzled state. 
“W-what a-are you doing h-here!?” 
“Calm down Idia, not here to hurt you. Anyways, someone asked me to drop off these papers to you. One of your housemates. Anyways, what are you doing?” 
“You c-can leave them on the t-table.” 
Idia’s eyes avoided [Reader’s] and he ignored their question. [Reader] walked closer, leaving the documents on the table as asked. They turned to look at his screen, looking at all the graphics displayed on the screen. 
“That looks interesting, what’s this about?” 
“It’s a game. . .” 
“Right, I can see that. What is it about?” 
Idia continued to advert his gaze, muttering under his breath under the assumption that [Reader] could not hear him. 
“Like you would care. . .” 
“I would actually.” 
A snarky and slightly offended response left [Readers] unamused face. Idia let out a squeak, he didn’t think [Reader] would hear that. [Reader] let out a huff, pulling a chair out and sitting across from Idia. 
“Idia, you know I’m not from here right? I don’t know much about media and franchises here in Twisted Wonderland, but I was interested in content like this back in my world. So humor me, what is this game about?” 
Though he was still unable to look them in the eye, not that [Reader] minded, he continued to explain the game franchise. 
“It’s an adventure-based role-playing game following an adventure party on a mission to take down the demon king. The party consists of characters that you get to pick, unlike most games where you’re given a party member. This game is different because it relies on your choices to advance as well as you making your combat type distinct. It has an online server where you can complete side quests while the main story updates.” 
He spoke fast, never sparing a glance at [Reader]. He was just waiting for them to become uninterested or to look at him in annoyance. He was waiting for the insults and the questionable glances of ‘you’re weird’ and ‘fucking loser’. 
“Hm, so it’s a fantasy-based combat game. Does this mean that all the party members are different fantasy races? I’d like to see the party members that you can pick, or do you get to customize them as well?” 
“ O-oh u-uh. . .” 
Idia has always seen the negative side of everything, but being realistic he didn’t give you enough credit. Sure, most people stop listening after that initial description but a few brave soldiers still stick around until he continues. He’d surely lose your interest with his extensive knowledge of the game's lore. 
“Well, not exactly. You can make your character, but the other party members are already designed and have a story to go with them. All you do is equip weapons and artifacts to strengthen them.” 
“Oh, I love customizable characters. Can I see yours?” 
Alright, so you’re one of those few brave soldiers who may be interested in a nerdy ramble. Idia began to click and swipe at his screen, eventually passing it to [Reader]. [Reader] began to inspect the character, looking at all the features that Idia placed on them. 
“Woah, they look badass. I like your character’s style, but it looks like they aren’t human-like. Are they fantasy-based characters? What kind?” 
Idia couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but his face softened and went from stoic to a more relaxed one. His eyes began to shine with passion as he began to talk about his character, gaining [Reader’s] undivided attention. [Reader] nodded and paid attention when he spoke, asking questions about the game’s lore and characters. Idia answered all their questions with a more enthusiastic chirp, throwing some jokes here and there. The atmosphere changed from tense to a more comforting one as they continued to speak losing track of time. 
“. . .but you don’t meet this fantasy race until act III in the game, even then they’re an antagonistic species until you clear the next three acts, that’s when it clears up. Eventually, you can add this character to your party or can update the way your character looks after-” 
The sound of the classroom door opening snapped Idia from his daze, and he turned to look at the door. 
“Idia, here you are!” 
“Ortho. . what are you doing here?” 
“Idia, it’s been three hours since you were supposed to be back. I came to see where you were. Don’t you remember, the new update for the game was dropping later tonight?” 
“Three hours. . .?” 
[Reader] and Idia panicked, both scrambling up from their chairs, 
“ Oh my gosh, I had no idea time went by so fast. I need to get home and do my homework!” 
“I forgot about my game! S-sorry, I probably bugged you with my spiel-” 
“Not at all, Idia! Honestly, this game sounds cool I might check it out. Well, I wish I could considering I don’t have a platform to play it. Crowley is very stingy with what he gives out. I don’t even have a phone to use, or else I would have asked for your contact info. I’ll catch you later, hopefully maybe one of these days I can see you in class. Take care, Ortho!” 
[Reader] patted Ortho’s shoulder before leaving the classroom. Ortho nodded enthusiastically, wishing [Reader] the same. He turned around to where Idia was standing. Idia was quiet, his eyes wide, and on his face was a dopey grin. His cheeks were lightly flushed, adding color to his pale skin. 
“ Iida? What’s wrong?” 
“Ortho, I’m going to class tomorrow.” 
~~ 
It had been roughly two months since that encounter. Idia never expected it to get this bad. They kept their promise, and [Reader] continued to talk to him even if it was after class and in private. He knows they didn’t mean anything bad by it, but he loved the idea of being their little secret. Held occasional yet school-related conversations in public, but the moment the class ended [Reader] and he would talk for hours. Sometimes, they would come over to the Ignihyde dorm to play games with him or indulge in certain content and media. Ortho was very excited, not only was he able to see his brother form a friendship with someone so close instead of online, but he could also see his brother having a slightly more positive outlook on life. However, he remained haunted by the grim reminder that he would be head of the S.T.Y.X organization and wouldn’t be able to enjoy the luxuries he was experiencing now. Despite all that, he was smiling a lot softer and looking forward to the next meeting. So in other words, everything was content and alright. There was no need for him to hijack the cameras to stalk [Reader], but he did it anyway. 
“Well, no matter. What’s done is done. Now I need to make sure they get home safely.” 
Idia softly smiled at the cameras, looking at [Reader] talking to Grim. They had a smile on their face as well, no doubt teasing the poor kitty. 
‘ They’re so pretty. . .hopefully they like my surprise.’ 
[Reader] was walking with the freshman to the Ramshackle dorm. They were going to drop off some stuff before heading out to the hall of mirrors. As they arrived at the entrance, they were greeted by a ghost. 
“Good afternoon, [Reader] and Grim! How were your classes?” 
“ Afternoon! Nothing too busy, but we just got assigned a major project.” 
“Man talk about annoying, Riddle kept reminding us how important this project was for the freshman.” 
Ace complained with Deuce sharing a similar face of dismay, clearly stressed about the project itself. 
“Vil was the same, he said that I could not afford to get a low score and tarnish Pomefiore’s reputation. This must be a pretty serious project.” 
Jack rubbed the back of his head, “Leona hasn’t mentioned anything yet. If all your housewardens are saying something no doubt when I get back to Savannaclaw he might mention it.” 
“If the project must be this serious, then I cannot score anything but the highest marks! The pride of Diasomnia, no. . .the pride of Malleus-Sama rests on my shoulders!” 
“Cool, anyways. . .” 
The rest of the group disregarded what Sebek was spouting about. The ghost chuckled, before leaving to the living room and returning with a package in hand. 
“Someone came by to drop this off. We don’t know what it is or from whom. There was no name on the package.” 
“Oh, for us?” 
“Seems like it.” 
Curiosity spread among them as they were all devising in their heads what it could be. 
“You don’t think it’s a. . .no it couldn’t be!” 
“But it might be. . .” 
“It might be a what?” 
Grim turned to Ace and Epel who shared mischievous smiles, “Oh you know. . .” 
“Pay them no mind, Grim. They’re just trying to scare you.” 
Deuce waved the two off and reassured Grim that it was all right. [Reader] examined the box, shaking it a little. It felt heavy, but there was no sound with the shake. It might either take up the whole box or it might be very secure. They walked inside their dorm with the others following suit. They sat on the couch and proceeded to open the package. Ripping open the box, they turned to see that it was a new phone. 
“A phone. . .?” 
“ WOAH! NOT JUST A NEW PHONE, IT’S THE LATEST MODEL!” 
Everyone exclaimed, eyes wide as saucers. 
“It is. . .?” 
“Hm, you don’t suppose Crowley got it for us do you?” 
Grim turned to look at [Reader] who scoffed at the idea, 
“Hell no, since when has that man cared for us?” 
“Fair enough, but who do you think it was from?” 
“ Not sure. .  .” 
“ Well whoever it was, they must be loaded!” 
Ace pointed out, [Reader] looking up at him. 
“Surely it can’t be that much...  could it?” 
“It’s over 200,000 Thaumarks!” 
“THAT MUCH!?” 
Grim and [Reader] turned to each other in shock. There was no way Crowley would cough up that much money for them, surely this was a mistake. 
“ Do you think they maybe got the wrong address?” 
“Nope! The postman that delivered it said the package was addressed to a [Reader].” 
“So who could be this generous patronage?” 
“Who knows, but whoever it is. You better take care of that as your life depended on it!” 
“ Got it, maybe I can ask Idia how to set it up. Surely it can’t be too different than the models back in my world, but if it is that much I can’t risk it. Alright, let us go now.” 
“ Do you guys want to go to Monstro Lounge to eat and talk about the project?” 
Sharing nods, everyone set off to Monstro Lounge. Idia was observing through the cameras, looking to see everyone entering the Octavinelle dorm. The moment he saw [Reader] enter, he stood up and made plans to leave his dorm. He closed off all the cameras and locked his room to be safe. He turned to the door, preparing to enact his plan. He left the Ignihyde dorm, turning to the path to the Ramshackle dorm. He walked at a brisk pace. It was the perfect time, no one was near or around to see him. Upon arriving at the dorm, he turned to peek inside the windows. Luckily, the ghosts that were occupying the house didn’t seem to be near. He pulled out a key and swiftly unlocked the door. He remembered one time when he swiped their keys and made a copy of them. Casually returning them to [Reader]. He climbed up the stairs and entered their room. Looking around, he could see a very plain room. Nothing too out of the ordinary but he didn’t mind, he knew that [Reader] was hardly getting any funds from Crowley. That was why he gave them the phone, something to be able to reach them faster. Though the room was plain, there was something that did manage to catch his eye. [Reader’s] used clothing hamper. His breath hitched, slowly and carefully making his way to it. Fear that the slight movement could alert someone, even though he was alone(or was he?). Once he made it across, he peered inside. Just normal clothing, sleeping garments, and so forth. The one thing that did make him turn red, was the sight of [Reader’s] used undergarments. 
His throat was dry as he debated reaching in and taking. What would they think of him? Would [Reader] look at him in disgust? Here he was, a pervert thinking about taking the used underwear of the one he loved. Who knows what he was going to do with them? Idia shook his head, reaching in swiftly and swiping the used underwear. He shakily raised them to his face, placing the crotch area close to his nose. He inhaled deeply, [Reader’s] scent quickly invading his mind. His pants began to feel tight and his dick was hard. He was lost in a trance until he heard a voice come from the living room. 
“I wonder who could have gifted the phone to [Reader]. Do you think they have a secret admirer?” 
Idia’s eyes widened as his body temperature rose. He was horrified, beyond terrified. Tears began to well, he was going to be caught! Idia quietly scrambled to the hallway but skillfully remained undetected as he peered over the stair railway. All the ghosts were in the living room, but they weren’t near the front door. If he played his cards right, he could make it out of the dorm without bringing too much attention to himself. Idia began to walk down the stairs, luckily the ghosts were too into their conversation to hear the creaky stairs. Idia shoved the used garment into the pocket of his jacket. 
“ If they had a secret admirer, do you think it might be that fae boy who sometimes comes here at night?” 
‘The WHAT!?’ Idia internally screamed. Fae. . did he mean Sebek? Sebek knows better than to appear at night, so was it the devilish third-year Lilia Vanrogue? Sure he was an eccentric one, but even he would have morals. Idia was close to the front of the door.  Idia was so into his thoughts, that he failed to notice the ghost that was standing near the gate. The ghost turned around, with a surprised look asked, 
“Are you here for [Reader]?” 
Idia let out a squeak, holding both his arms in a defensive stance. The ghost noticed this and quickly assured him that he did not mean any harm or to spook him. 
“Didn’t mean to scare you, but [Reader] isn’t here right now. They’re at the Monstro Lounge working on a project with some peers.” 
“O-oh. . .I see. . .” 
Idia knew they weren’t here, but couldn’t raise any suspicion. The other ghosts soon came to the front door, staring at Idia. 
“Oh, what’s this? Are you a friend of [Reader]?” 
“I-I u-uh. . .d-did [Reader] get the package?” 
“ The package? Oh! Are you their secret admirer?” 
Way to go Iida, he was digging a deeper hole for himself. 
“A-a friend of mine a-asked me to make sure they got it. . .” 
His gaze was adverted to the side and his fingers were twiddling. 
“They did it! By any chance, can we know the name of your friend? Tell us, do they like [Reader]?” 
“ Y-yeah s-something like that. T-they’re a little shy so. . .well then, that’s good. U-uh, I’m going to leave n-now. . .” 
“ Take care, be safe walking back to your dorm!” 
The ghosts all wished him safe travels. Idia nodded and began to walk slowly, once he was away from the ghost’s sight of vision he scrambled back to his dorm. 
“You don’t think he was. . .?” 
“Maybe, but wait. . . isn’t he the one [Reader] likes?” 
~
Idia managed to make it to his dorm without being spotted. He entered his room and locked the door. Once he caught his breath, he made it to his bed and plopped down. He was tired, hopefully, the ghosts didn’t say anything. He closed his eyes and remained still for a brief moment before he turned, feeling the fabric of his pants rub against his hard-on. 
‘Oh’
His cheeks reddened and his hair changed from a blue to a purple shade, close to pink. He reached into his pocket, taking out the used underwear. His other hand went to his pants, slowly freeing his hard cock. His breath hitched, he placed the used underwear up against his nose and inhaled deeply. His eyes rolled back at [Reader’s] scent and his free hand went to his dick, wrapping around it. Pre was already forming at the tip, he rubbed his cock up and down slowly, starting a soft pace. 
“Fuck. . .” 
His lidded and glossy eyes stared on, he slowly opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out. He gave a long striped lick, tasting whatever remained on the underwear. Whatever little control he had broke, he began to gradually fist his cock as he inhaled and exhaled. He was constantly giving licks as well, his body was moving on his own. He rolled over and entangled his legs with his bedsheets. He let the underwear fall on the pillow and dove nose-first into it. With his right hand, he began to grip the sheets. He rutted into his fist. His mind wandered to [Reader], how would they feel. If they saw him right now, what would they say? Would they call him a disgusting pervert? How dare he get off on your used underwear. How pathetic he is, rutting into his hand thrusting into his bed trying to find the right pace and friction to get off. Fucking pathetic, look at this loser jerking off to the idea of even being able to touch you. 
“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-oh fuck-!” 
He imagined if [Reader] was into it as well. Would they step on his disgusting dick? Would they tease him, call him all kinds of names? Would they make him fuck himself before he even had the chance to fuck them? Idia was thankful for his pillow, other than being able to rest the used underwear so that he could smell and taste as much as he wanted. He was also able to hide his pathetic moans and whines. He was drooling, eyes rolling back and tears welling up. 
“Fuckfuckfuck, I’m gonna-shit I’m gonna come-” 
How their warm insides would feel. How their hole would clamp and clench around his dirty and pathetic cock. Imagine how it would feel to relentlessly fuck them. 
“W-wanna touch them, w-wanna fuck y-you, [R-reader]!? W-wanna c-come i-inside you-ha fuck!?” 
Would they let them come inside? How it would feel, leaving his warm thick sticky cum inside them. When he’d pull out he’d see the thick glob that left their used and abused hole that was stretched out just for him. 
“C-Cumming!??” 
Idia’s eyes rolled back as his back arched, his right hand gripping the sheets and his knuckles turning white, blowing his load into his hands. His cum shoots out to stain his bedsheets. His cum was warmer than average, how would they feel? Would they feel warm and satisfied? Sweat was coating his skin and he struggled to catch his breath. His left hand released his now limp dick and his right let go of the bedsheets. He lifted his body, getting on his knees and he looked at the pillow and [Reader]’s now soiled underwear. 
“I l-love you so much. . .[Reader].” 
[Reader] kept true to their word and turned to Idia for help setting up their phone. 
“Oh, okay so I do this right?” 
“You’re no better than a noob finally learning how to use a handheld console.” 
[Reader] sent Idia an unamused look, but let out a laugh. Idia smiled, but changed his face the moment [Reader] turned to look up again at him. 
“It’s standard, it’s similar to most models back in my world though some features are completely new. Hey Idia, can I ask you a question? Is this really the latest model and  worth 200,000 thurmarks?” 
“It’s the latest model and now it’s super rare. Those who preordered one when the sale dropped months ago were 100% guaranteed one with a small percentage that they would be sold in stores. They only released a few in-store ones so if you didn’t get one then, it’ll be months before you get one.” 
“Woah, so it’s that special? Ace was telling me all the new stuff it was supposed to have but I just nodded and went with it.” 
“Here.” 
Idia handed [Reader] their new phone back, stuck on the contact screen. The contact read his name, ‘Idia Shroud’, with his phone number saved on it. 
“So now you can reach me. M-maybe play the game now. . .”
“Thank you Idia, I was going to ask you about that too by the way. Do you mind if I lie on your bed?” 
“Hm, no I don’t-WAIT YES I DO!” 
Idia’s scream rang through his room. [Reader]’s eyes widened as they backed away from his bed. 
“S-sorry, my bed is. . .messy.” 
“Oh, I really don’t mind but if you do that’s fine. I can just sit here unless you don’t want me to?” 
“N-no no, there is fine.” 
Idia calmed down, scooting over to [Reader] to explain how to download the game and how to set it up. 
It was like that, consistently for another two months. Idia wasn’t sure what to do, he had planned on confessing but how. Every time he thought it was the right time, someone just had to take [Reader’s] attention or ruin it for him. They could never understand them the way he did. After months of observing [Reader], playing games with them, and sharing deep meaningful conversations, Idia was the only one who could understand them. That’s what he believed, so why was it so hard to be able to confess them? No one was able to understand them to the capacity that Idia could and certainly, no one was worthy of them. Granted Idia himself didn’t feel worthy, but if he was the worm crawling underneath their shoe the other’s were the smears on the concrete. Idia huffed in annoyance, he was typing along to his online friend, Muscle Red. 
Gloomurai: Can I vent to you about something happening IRL
Muscle Red: Of course, what’s wrong? 
Gloomurai: How do you confess to someone you like? 
Muscle Red: Oh, relationship issues? 
Lilia scratched his head, geez. This was an awkward situation, it’s been a while since Lilia courted someone. He wasn’t sure how to proceed with the conversation but he was young once so it couldn’t be too hard.
Gloomurai: Not really considering there is no relationship yet, it’s more like I like someone but can’t bring myself to confess to them. 
Gloomurai: When I want to, something always happens like the universe doesn’t want us to be together. 
Muscle Red: I don’t think that's the case. I think you may need to set up a scenario where you are completely alone to confess, so you don’t have any interruptions.
Lilia winced a little when he read that back, it didn’t sound okay at first. Hopefully, Gloomurai doesn’t look too into it. 
Gloomurai: It’s a little hard, they’re quite social. Almost everyone wants to talk to them. 
Muscle Red: I’m sure if you asked to speak to them about a personal matter, they might set time aside to hear you out. Maybe that is when you confess? 
Gloomurai: I’d probably stutter over my words to get it out, they’re just too cool. . .
Muscle Red: How did you meet them? Is this a close friend or? 
Gloomurai: You could say that. They like the same stuff I like, we became friends with mutual interests. 
Lilia let out a breath of relief. Unlike back then where you either knew the person from growing up together or being interested in them because of one interaction, common interests bonded people. So this should be easy. 
Muscle Red: Hm, so then they probably know you and will feel more comfortable being near a familiar face. When trying to court someone you may want to start with a small gesture of kindness and trying to find time alone to be able to confess to them. That was how most of the time it worked then, but since this is a close friend they might already be able to pick up signs. [MESSAGE UNABLE TO SEND. TRY AGAIN.] 
Muscle Red: You may have to be bold. Do something that they might never expect from you. Try to get them to see you in a different light than just a friend. If you’re able to do that then surely you can win them over, who knows maybe they’ll fall for you just as much. 
Muscle Red: Do something that still falls within their comfort level to show that you still care and know certain things about them. I think once you’re able to show them how you care for them but also make them see you, I think that helps a lot. They already like spending time with you and enjoy common interests, so really, it shouldn’t be too hard. [MESSAFE UNABLE TO SEND. TRY AGAIN.] 
Gloomurai: So try something bold, something that makes them notice my feelings for them? 
Muscle Red: Exactly. 
Gloomurai: Hm, thank you. I think I know what I should do. Thank you for this, really :)). Thank you for helping me defeat the boss too lol. C U!
Muscle Red: see you! 
Gloomurai left the chat. 
Muscle Red left the chat. 
Lilia looked to the bottom right screen on his PC, looking at the symbol representing the internet. 
“My, of all times it seems that the internet went out. Hopefully, they were able to read my messages and understand what I was trying to say. Oh well, they seemed to understand so hopefully it helps. Ah, young love certainly never fails to move my heart. Now, onto the internet.” 
And so, that is where we find ourselves now. Idia was pacing around his room, biting his nails and muttering to himself. 
‘Shitshitshitshitshitshit, what do I do? What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?’ 
[Reader] was sleeping soundly, snuggling into the bed. Clearly, this wasn’t their room and if they were to wake up, surely they would panic. The last thing [Reader] remembered was resting peacefully in their bed with Grim cuddling next to them. 
“I did use a pretty strong spell, hopefully, they wake up soon. . .” 
Idia peered over to see [Reader] they were still unmoving. He nervously made his way to them, getting on his bed and slowly crawling to them. The bed sank with his added weight, but nonetheless, they did not waver. He eyed their body, their features. Their chest was slowly rising with their steady breathing. Idia swallowed hard, his fearful expression didn’t leave his face either while he shakily extended his hand to touch [Reader]. His hand grazed their skin and his cold fingers met their warm skin. Tracing his finger from this shoulder to their forearm, touching their forehead and caressing their cheeks. He stopped breathing, afraid that it would ruin this soft moment for him. His eyes trailed down, to their chest. He removed his fingers from their cheeks and instead began to trail from their collarbone to their chest. With deep breaths and a flushed face, he started going lower. From their chest to their stomach, to their hips, and eventually, their crotch. 
“You’re so pretty. . .wanna see you more. . .” 
Idia lightly rubbed at their crotch, lazily stroking up and down. He didn’t intend to do anything and he certainly didn’t expect to hit any major pleasure zones. Idia continued to touch, not really doing much. He wondered if they were awake, what would they do if they saw him like this? Surely they would scream, be disgusted, and threaten to hurt him. 
‘Be bold’ 
Idia nervously looked over to [Reader]with their eyes still shut. He looked over at their legs, placing his hands in the middle and prying them open. His head peeked up again, no movement. He got on his knees at the foot of his bed, dragging [Reader’s] legs down too. Idia placed his hand on their bottoms, dragging them agonizingly slow. He managed to take them off without stirring them and he left them in just their undergarments. Idia began to drool at the sight but he knew the surprise was waiting underneath the undergarments. Reaching above, he pulled them down swiftly and looked. [Reader’s] sex was exposed and visibly aroused. His cold fingers went to touch their most sensitive bit, lightly tapping it. Trailing their finger up and down, they noticed their hole clenching around nothing. 
“What I would give for you to think of me touching you in your dreams.” 
Idia shakily moved his face to their sex, giving it an experimental lick. Trailing to their hole, licking around the area. He removed himself and began to such on his fingers, once they were coated with his saliva he moved them to their hole. Inserting his middle finger inside. Idia let out a soft squeal when he felt their hole clench around his finger. 
“F-Fuck. . .y-you’re so tight. . .” 
Inserting his finger in and out, creating a soft pace and causing enough lubrication to insert another finger. Idia let out a small chuckle, 
“It’s like you’re greedy hole is devouring me. . .I wonder what you’re dreaming about, [Reader].” 
As Idia continued fingering [Reader], they turned to their sensitive bits and began to lick up and down, pressing light kisses on them. He continued to do this for a bit, lightly teasing them and pumping his fingers inside them. He began to suck and that’s when he noticed it, their body twitched. Thinking it was from pleasure, he continued to tease and explore their body. Their sensitive bits were being toyed with, sucked, licked, pinched, and stroked while he fucked his fingers into them. He didn’t notice the noises they were making as they were stirring, but his heart dropped when he felt his hands wander into his hair. 
“[REA-]!?” 
“D-don’t stop. . .p-please Idia. .m’feels good.” 
He had to be dreaming! There was no way this could be real, but he didn't care. If it was a dream, then what a lovely dream it was. He nodded and returned to abuse their sex. 
“F-fuck, right there-!” 
Idia was overheating, he was eating them out with such intensity. Drool covers their sex and mixes with their juices. His fingers continued their assault, stretching them out in a scissoring motion while also reaching even areas they couldn’t with their fingers. 
“M’ feels g-good, f-fuck g-gonna cum Idia-!” 
[Reader] was coming undone, the feeling of Idia’s long tongue playing with their sex, sucking and kissing along with his fingers was a pleasure overload. When Idia’s fingers reached that soft and spongey spot inside them, curling his fingers to hit, they came. Grabbing his hair and pushing his face against their sex and bucking their hips, riding out their orgasm as they came on his face. 
“C-Coming!” 
Once they came down from their high, they released his hair. [Reader] raised their forearm to cover their eyes as they worked to catch their breath. Idia got up from the floor and got on the bed, crawling to them. 
“[R-reader]. . .I-I-I-?!” 
[Reader] removed their forearm, looking at him with glossy eyes. Idia could only gaze upon them with such love. Their body was covered in sweat, their skin was warm to the touch and their post-orgasmic face was divine. [Reader] propped themselves on their elbows, struggling to sit up on the bed. When they managed to, they turned to look at him with a dazed-out expression. 
“Idia. . .wanna make you feel good too. . .can I?” 
[Reader] asked in a slightly whiny voice that made Idia’s rock-hard cock strain against his bottoms. His breath hitched, 
“E-EH? I-I N-NO Y-YOU DON’T M-MEA-EEP!” 
Idia shrieked when [Reader] pushed him down on his bed, straddling his hips and rubbing their exposed sex on his clothed crotch. [Reader] raised their arms to remove their shirt, turning to remove his bottoms. [Reader] was able to pull down his bottoms and remove his boxer, exposing his dick. Idia’s hair turned into a pinkish hue with the rest of his skin burning up. He was embarrassed that his crush who he went down on, got to see him in a similar position. [Reader’s] hands were warm to the touch and they began stroking and rubbing his cock, jerking him off. Idia threw his head back, moaning uncontrollably and gasping as he felt their fingers play with his tip, rubbing it back and forth. Their free hand began to fondle his balls, creating a feeling of immense pleasure. Tears began to form and Idia looked at [Reader] with a face that was begging for mercy but at the same time, more. 
“O-Of fuck! F-feels so fucking good! H-having my disgusting cock t-touched by you, [Reader]! F-fuck me, please I want it s-so badly!” 
Before Idia could come, [Reader] let go of their dick. They went to their sex, rubbing their hole and inserting their finger, making sure they were stretched well. They leveled themselves to Idia’s cock and began to lower themselves down. Idia closed his eyes at the feeling of their hole clenching down hard on his dick. [Reader] was struggling themselves too, Idia managed to stretch them out pretty well. After a while, [Reader] began to move, slowly creating a slow pace while riding Idia, Their hands went underneath his shirt and to his nipples, playing with them. Their fingers caught them and began to pinch them. 
“Fuck! H-ha…f-fuck, so tight!” 
“Y-you’re so big, Idia. Feels so f-fucking good!” 
Rolling their hips to meet Idia’s small thrusts to reach that deeper part within their insides. Idia’s hands went to grab and hold their hips, keeping them steady. Idia’s left hand went to touch their sex, rubbing and stroking to make them catch their high. Both their bodies were covered in sweat and their moans echoed throughout the room. [Reader’s] movements were getting sloppy, the feeling of their climax was right around the edge. Idia could feel it too, he wasn’t going to last long but he wanted to. He didn't;’t want this moment to end. 
“I-Idia, hm feel’s so good, feel so full! W-wanna c=come. .-ha!” 
“F-Fuck [Reader]! C-Come, please c-come!” 
Relief was granted when Idia thrust one last time, spilling his seed inside them. [Reader] threw their head back and ended up cumming all over Iida. The room smelled of sweat and sex. Idia and [Reader] were both trying to catch their breath, until Idia began to thrust again. 
“W-wait I-idia! I can’t, it’s t-too much! S-still sensitive-!!” 
[Reader] placed their hands on his stomach, steadying themselves and that’s when they saw it. Idia’s glossy eyes, tears staining his face but his face was red. He looked like he was ready to cry again from the overstimulation. 
“P-please, w-want more of you. W-want to feel you-!” 
Idia began to relentlessly thrust upwards, hitting their deepest spots and continuing to play with their sex. It continued for a while until Idia had his fill, pushing [Reader] until they were no longer able to form coherent words just mindless babbles of their pleasure spilling out. Idia finally finished and managed to release inside them. He let [Reader] lie on the bed to rest, but never pulled out of them. They stayed connected even when Idia was no longer hard. [Reader] looked over at Idia who was avoiding their gaze. [Reader] smiled, breathing out before speaking, 
“I love you, Idia.” 
“H-HUH!? N-no, surely you’re just pulling my leg-” 
“Idia, we just fucked. I’m not pulling anything, you think I don’t know that you were stalking me?” 
Idia let out a whine, diving headfirst into their chest to hide his embarrassment. Wrapping his arms around their waist, pulling him closer to them. 
“I know you’ve been stalking me around. I also know you were the one who got me the phone, the ghosts told me you stopped by my house.” 
Idia peeled himself away enough to look up at [Reader] who looked at him with adoring eyes. 
“ You probably hate me, you must think I’m disgusting aren’t I.” 
“I don’t hate you, but I do think you’re pretty disgusting. I don't mind, I like how disgusting you are about me.” 
Idia gazed into their eyes before shying away, continuing to shove his face in their chest. His pink hair was a dead giveaway that he was completely enamored and not okay with that response. 
“ Oh, and I also know you jerked off to my used underwear.” 
A sob left Idia’s lip. 
Bonus: 
Muscle Red: Hello, it's been a while. So, how did it go with the one you wanted to confess to?” 
Gloomurai: Hello. It went well, I went bold as you said. I kidnapped them and I guess they were into that lol. Thank you for your advice. Now, do you want to do that quest? 
Gloomurai: Muscle Red? [MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT. USER MUSCLE RED IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE] 
Gloomurai: Muscle Red? :(( [MESSAGE COULD NOT BE SENT. USER MUSCLE RED IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE] 
A/N: I have no words because I lowkey hate the writing because I split it up into several days of work so it’s not only consistent but I think I cannot write smut to save my life as well I used to and well yeah. Happy birthday IRL bestie. 
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i-drop-level-one-loot · 8 months
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Overprotective!Yandere X GN!Reader
Women in the office gawked at Theo as he walked by, shamelessly refusing to peel their eyes from the Adonis who walked among them. With dark wavy hair that framed his beauty mark speckled face and droopy emerald eyes always set into a warm smile, he was model material, yet refused to believe it. Theo was kind to everyone he spoke to, but no one could gain his full attention, and affection. That was reserved for his one and only best friend ❤️
❤️ Theo who was Reader's best friend since kindergarten
💀 Every life path Reader took, Theo took as well. They were his best friend, he just happened to have the same interests as Reader!
❤️ Besides, he didn't go to the same college as them and got into the same company in the same sales department just because he was good at numbers like Reader... he also needed to protect them!
💀 Reader was always a hard worker, they would often forget to eat meals while working overtime and would only sleep two hours a night if Theo wasn't there to gently keep them on track
❤️ And despite everyone referring to Reader as a cynical workaholic, Theo knew deep down that they were far too trusting
💀 Remember that girl in grade four who confessed to Reader at recess? Reader turned her down far too kindly! They made her think it was actually okay to be friends! Thank goodness Theo was there to threaten the kid to stay away protect his best friend from that weirdo
❤️ People often mistook the pair of besties for a couple, and that was just ridiculous!
💀 Yeah, the idea of Reader calling Theo their husband, kissing Reader's forehead each and every night, and instead of just tucking them into bed joining them in their shared bed made his heart clench in a funny way... they were just friends!
❤️ Just friends that were also roommates. The economy is terrible right now, just because they make enough money to live alone, didn't it make more sense to live together and save money?
💀 And Theo enjoyed cooking nutritional meals for his best friend! No instant ramen for Reader while Theo's around!
❤️ No, it wasn't jealousy whenever someone started hitting on Reader, he was just worried for them!
"Don't you think Jackson's a bit... creepy?" Theo asked his buddy while prepping dinner one night. Reader glanced up from their work laptop only briefly.
"Why do you say that?"
"Ah, I don't mean to sound rude! I'm sorry.. I just overheard him saying something pretty gross about Mrs. Kim.."
Jackson had asked Reader to grab a drink with him sometime just the other day, and he seemed like a genuinely kind dude. But Reader trusted Theo with their life, and wouldn't question anything he ever said, believing their best friend was simply incapable of lying. Reader grunted and went back to work, and Theo knew by that sound his bestie wasn't going out with Jackson anytime soon.
💀 Theo who could never admit to anyone, not even himself, that his relationship with Reader wasn't a healthy "friendship"
❤️ Convincing himself that his actions were completely normal things for friends to do was almost a full time job
💀 Sometimes he watched Reader sleep, admiring how their eyelashes fluttered as they dreamt ensuring that they were actually sleeping and not sneaking onto their computer
❤️ And breaking down into full blown hysterics when Reader doesn't text him back is just because he's so worried for them
💀 Reader always saw the error in their ways though, apologizing profusely when they finally came home from grocery shopping and seeing the results of forgetting to charge their phone
❤️ It was an especially hard day when Theo had to cut off his own mother. She said Theo was codependent on Reader! Reader doesn't know this though, they just heard that Theo's mother was criticizing their friendship
Reader was stopped at the front door, Theo draping his large frame over his best friend, his large eyes watering. "Please don't leave, (Reader)."
They sighed, wriggling an arm free to mess with Theo's hair. "The fridge is almost empty, dude."
"But it's raining outside!" Theo raised is voice unintentionally as he began to panic, spiraling into an anxiety attack. "What if you get sick? Please just stay home, I can order take out. Let's go shopping tomorrow!"
"Theo.."
"Please!" A sob choked out of the man as he seemingly lost his strength, collapsing against Reader as he stained their jacket with his tears. "I just want to keep you safe!"
Reader gave in, as they always did, guilt stabbing at their heart until they could calm Theo down and convince him they weren't leaving.
Even if Reader never fell in love with Theo, the man would be content just to be by Reader's side, forever being their one and only best friend. As long as he could continue protecting them, from bad dates conspiring to ruin Reader's life, from management that continuously accepted Reader's overtime volunteering, and from Reader's own silly bad choices... Theo was happy.
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rkvriki · 1 year
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— kisses with enhypen
heyy!! i haven't been writing much im sorry! im trying to focus on my mental health coz your girl here was stressing with tests. anywayy hope you enjoy this idea i got from pinterest!
make sure to leave feedback. my requests are open and so is my talk box so let's talk!
WARNINGS ! mentions of insecurities, kissing thighs but in a sfw way! might contain grammar errors.
word count: 1.6K
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LEE HEESEUNG !
— kisses your earlobe
heeseung is a tease when it comes to kissing you and he knows how you get when he kisses your earlobe.
sometimes you both are just cuddling, watching a movie and he will slowly start trailing kisses from your jaw, up to your cheek and your earlobe. 
he knows you will get ticklish and he loves seeing a reaction out of you just for the heck of it.
he will leave soft kisses there and might even suck the area, making you squirm and push him away, telling him to stop but he knows damn well you don’t want him to stop.
 — kisses your stomach
it's a tender and loving type of kiss.
hee loves taking naps while lying his head on your chest or tummy while you run your fingers through his hair.
when he’s half awake he will slip your shirt up a little just to reveal your stomach and will kiss it while running his hand through your waist, making you feel butterflies in your tummy.
if you ever feel insecure about your body or your stomach specifically he will love to kiss it even more, showing you how much he loves every inch of you.
rest under the cut !
PARK JONGSEONG !
— kisses your cheek
a sweet and basic kiss but still one of his favorite places to kiss.
jay will kiss your cheek in a simple way of greeting you or as a loving gesture.
sometimes you're doing simple chores and he’ll come behind you and leave chaste kisses from your neck to your cheek, giving special attention to it.
or you’re working on your computer and he will lean down to kiss your cheek lovingly, making you fold into his touch.
he just loves your cheeks so much, no matter if they are slim or chubby he will love them.
— kisses your collarbones
jay laying on your chest when you guys sleep together.
when he wakes up normally you aren’t awake yet, so he always finds a way to wake you up so you can eat breakfast together.
he will start kissing you neck down to your collarbones, since he has easy access to it from his head laying on your chest.
he starts softly sucking your collarbones, without any intentions behind, just as a soft gesture.
 when you finally wake up he will slide up and kiss your cheek and tell you to get ready to go eat breakfast.
SIM JAEYUN !
— kisses your forehead
to jake a kiss on the forehead can be so gentle and loving, and sometimes a way of showing he cares about you.
sometimes you just had a long day and just wanted to be in jake’s arms and he will be right at your service.
he will embrace you and tell you reassuring words while gently rubbing your back and down.
he will slightly pull away, still keeping you in his arms and will look at you with a smile and lean down to your height to leave a sweet kiss on your forehead while holding you tighter.
he is definitely is the type to rest his chin on the top of your head while hugging you.
— kisses your lips
jake has the most kissable lips ever, i have said it before and i will keep saying it over and over again.
even though it’s the most common and obvious place to kiss someone, it’s the most romantic for jake.
he loves watching your lips when you talk, which makes you frustrated and he knows it.
sometimes you will be rambling about whatever and he will interrupt you with a kiss on your lips making you whine in complaint. he pulls back and smirks at you and nods for you to keep going, making you roll your eyes at him.
PARK SUNGHOON !
—  kisses your fingertips
sunghoon does this almost unconsciously.
you two would be talking on the couch of your living room, a random movie playing in the background as you talked about random topics.
as you were laying down he held your hand in his, playing with the ring he gave you on your finger as he listened to you talking.
he would bring your hand to his lips as he left light kisses on each of your fingertips, covering your smaller hand with his bigger one when he finished.
he didn’t even realize you stopped talking and were looking at him with a smile, making him blush and get shy at you.
— kisses your shoulder
sunghoon loves kissing our shoulder in a confronting and loving way.
he does it mostly when he is hugging you from behind.
we all know he isn’t much of a morning person, but you make them a little better from him.
so when he wakes up and doesn’t find you on your side of the bed, he gets up to find you in the kitchen making breakfast for both of you.
he comes up behind you, wrapping his muscled arms around your waist, startling you a little bit.
he rests his chin on your shoulder as he watches you making the food. he pushes the sleeve of your shirt down a little just enough to reveal the skin of your shoulder and starts leaving kisses there, making your heart flutter.
KIM SUNOO !
— kisses your nose
sunoo has a special love for your nose.
he just loves how well it suits, no matter if it’s pointy, button, long or small, he loves it. it’s his favorite feature of yours.
he loves seeing it scrunch up when you laugh at something he said.
he will purposely make you laugh just to see it cutely twitch and don’t you dare hide it with your hands.
he will kiss your nose mid laugh making you scrunch it up even more.
he finds it such a cute and playful gesture and it shows so much affection and adoration.
— kisses your neck
sunoo finds neck kisses very intimate not in a sexual way but in a romantic one.
sunoo is a big cuddler and he loves being cuddled. he prefers when you hold him instead of him holding you.
so when you two are laying down in your bed ready to go to sleep, he is wrapped around you like a koala, with you holding him in your arms, he hides his face in your neck, fitting like a puzzle.
he softly inhales your scent, fresh out of the shower, his lashes softly fluttering tickling your neck, making you giggle lightly.
he starts leaving light, soft kisses on your neck, making you sigh happily and squeeze him tighter in your embrace.
YANG JUNGWON !
— kisses the corner of your lips
jungwon is a tease and loves leaving you wishing for more.
it is a playful and flirty gesture, maybe corny but it makes you laugh at the playful face he makes after.
you two would be fooling around with each other on your couch. jungwon would kiss everywhere in your face but your lips, purposely avoiding your lips just to tease you.
you would start whining in annoyance for him avoiding the place where you craved his lips the most.
he would start kissing your cheek again slowly trailing his lips towards your own, reaching the corner and leaving a kiss there. his lips hover yours and when he went to finally kiss you he gets up, laughing at your dumbfounded expression.
— kisses your inner thighs
jungwon does this in a non sexual way obviously. he just knows it tickles you and does it to annoy you.
he loves laying between your thighs, with his back resting on your stomach, while your legs rest at his sides.
you watch movies like that all the time, while his fingers softly caress your legs.
when jungwon gets bored he starts leaving kisses from your knee to your inner thigh, smooching them softly, making you giggle from the tickling sensation it leaves on your skin.
he starts leaving more kisses just to tickle you, pushing your legs down so you can’t run away from him.
NISHIMURA RIKI !
— kisses your lower lip
niki is very passionate when it comes to you, and kissing your lower lip to him shows a lot of passion and it’s an intimate gesture.
you and niki don’t spend a lot of time together, since he has a very busy schedule and you still study, so when you both have time together you spend it at home enjoying each other's presence in each other's arms.
niki starters leaving cute and short pecks on your lips, until you hold his nape making the kiss linger for a little more.
he pulls back and leans down targeting your lower lip, taking it between his plush ones.
the action makes your heart flutter and your cheeks heat up, especially when he bites your lip while pulling back and watches your flustered reaction.
— kisses the top of your head
niki finds this such a nurturing and loving gesture. it’s also a comforting kiss for you.
he loves hugging you and since he is so tall he rests his head on top of yours as he embraces you.
when he knows you are feeling more gloomy and down he will just come up to you and hug you, letting you release all your emotions.
he rubs you back comfortingly and hugs you tighter as your sobs grow and you let out your cries of sadness.
when you calm down he pulls back a little to wipe your tears and kisses the top of your head, letting his lips linger there and your breath calms down.
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victarin · 2 months
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> enter bedroom (52%)
it’s been a while, sorry !
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[VD: text reading “warning: flashing lights, eyestrain, & unreality / headphones recommended”. faced with two doorways in a nighttime living room, the option “enter bedroom” is selected. inside the room, you see the corner of your bed, the closet, and the open bedroom door. the following text reads “i should try to get some sleep.” lights off, loading screen into the dream. you see an empty room with checkered floors. an arrow to the right lets you see behind you. after clicking it, you see the room is still plain except for three dark, skinny hallways. an arrow to the left lets you turn back around. after clicking it, you see original room. after the error sound, a party room appears with three arcade machines in the center. the light of the middle one flickers before going dark. as the music and announcement begins, all three arcade machines light up blue. the text captioning the announcement glitches near the end before the screen cuts to black. in the center of the black screen, the middle red arcade machine appears for a second, featuring a red screen with something blurry in the center. back to bedroom. cut to the left side of the room, where there is a window, a desk, and a computer that has turned on to show a blue screen with the security breach freddy symbol. it turns off, shutting off the audio. text reads: “… i don’t think i can sleep after that.” cut back to the bed. three options appear: investigate computer, leave bedroom, stay in bed. while choosing between the options, moon crawls into the room and crouches before disappearing. he appears at your bedside. he looks similar to in-game, but his faceplate features two wide white eyes with black pupils. he twitches and four options appear: say hello, pretend to sleep, call for help, run. cut to black. / end VD.]
woooo this one took a hot minute. genuinely really really sorry for that.
would like to note two things: 1) all sound effects are from the capcut library except for the announcement voice (that was me with a filter on top yay) and the breathing! and 2) on the breathing, that was unintentionally inspired by @/etc.etcetera on tiktok (that One mlp infection au..) whose videos inspired me to try pushing thru finishing this video :’) and this was a rough one ouch
thanks for being so patient with this au!! im sure most ppl have fallen out of interest lolz but im still planning on continuing it :) given that ep4 isnt as draining to make .with all hope
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Microsoft put their tax-evasion in writing and now they owe $29 billion
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I'm coming to Minneapolis! Oct 15: Presenting The Internet Con at Moon Palace Books. Oct 16: Keynoting the 26th ACM Conference On Computer-Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing.
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If there's one thing I took away from Propublica's explosive IRS Files, it's that "tax avoidance" (which is legal) isn't a separate phenomenon from "tax evasion" (which is not), but rather a thinly veiled euphemism for it:
https://www.propublica.org/series/the-secret-irs-files
That realization sits behind my series of noir novels about the two-fisted forensic accountant Martin Hench, which started with last April's Red Team Blues and continues with The Bezzle, this coming February:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865847/red-team-blues
A typical noir hero is an unlicensed cop, who goes places the cops can't go and asks questions the cops can't ask. The noir part comes in at the end, when the hero is forced to admit that he's being going places the cops didn't want to go and asking questions the cops didn't want to ask. Marty Hench is a noir hero, but he's not an unlicensed cop, he's an unlicensed IRS inspector, and like other noir heroes, his capers are forever resulting in his realization that the questions and places the IRS won't investigate are down to their choice not to investigate, not an inability to investigate.
The IRS Files are a testimony to this proposition: that Leona Hemsley wasn't wrong when she said, "Taxes are for the little people." Helmsley's crime wasn't believing that proposition – it was stating it aloud, repeatedly, to the press. The tax-avoidance strategies revealed in the IRS Files are obviously tax evasion, and the IRS simply let it slide, focusing their auditing firepower on working people who couldn't afford to defend themselves, looking for things like minor compliance errors committed by people receiving public benefits.
Or at least, that's how it used to be. But the Biden administration poured billions into the IRS, greenlighting 30,000 new employees whose mission would be to investigate the kinds of 0.1%ers and giant multinational corporations who'd Helmsleyed their way into tax-free fortunes. The fact that these elite monsters paid no tax was hardly a secret, and the impunity with which they functioned was a constant, corrosive force that delegitimized American society as a place where the rules only applied to everyday people and not the rich and powerful who preyed on them.
The poster-child for the IRS's new anti-impunity campaign is Microsoft, who, decades ago, "sold its IP to to an 85-person factory it owned in a small Puerto Rican city," brokered a deal with the corporate friendly Puerto Rican government to pay almost no taxes, and channeled all its profits through the tiny facility:
https://www.propublica.org/article/the-irs-decided-to-get-tough-against-microsoft-microsoft-got-tougher
That was in 2005. Now, the IRS has come after Microsoft for all the taxes it evaded through the gambit, demanding that the company pay it $29 billion. What's more, the courts are taking the IRS's side in this case, consistently ruling against Microsoft as it seeks to keep its ill-gotten billions:
https://www.propublica.org/article/irs-microsoft-audit-back-taxes-puerto-rico-billions
Now, no one expects that Microsoft is going to write a check to the IRS tomorrow. The company's made it clear that they intend to tie this up in the courts for a decade if they can, claiming, for example, that Trump's amnesty for corporate tax-cheats means the company doesn't have to give up a dime.
This gambit has worked for Microsoft before. After seven years in antitrust hell in the 1990s, the company was eventually convicted of violating the Sherman Act, America's bedrock competition law. But they kept the case in court until 2001, running out the clock until GW Bush was elected and let them go free. Bush had a very selective version of being "tough on crime."
But for all that Microsoft escaped being broken up, the seven years of depositions, investigations, subpoenas and negative publicity took a toll on the company. Bill Gates was personally humiliated when he became the star of the first viral video, as grainy VHS tapes of his disastrous and belligerent deposition spread far and wide:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/12/whats-a-murder/#miros-tilde-1
If you really want to know who Bill Gates is beneath that sweater-vested savior persona, check out the antitrust deposition – it's still a banger, 25 years on:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2020/09/revisiting-the-spectacular-failure-that-was-the-bill-gates-deposition/
In cases like these, the process is the punishment: Microsoft's dirty laundry was aired far and wide, its swaggering founder was brought low, and the company's conduct changed for years afterwards. Gates once told Kara Swisher that Microsoft missed its chance to buy Android because they were "distracted by the antitrust trial." But the Android acquisition came four years after the antitrust case ended. What Gates meant was that four years after he wriggled off the DoJ's hook, he was still so wounded and gunshy that he lacked the nerve to risk the regulatory scrutiny that such an anticompetitive merger would entail.
What's more, other companies got the message too. Large companies watched what happened to Microsoft and traded their reckless disregard for antitrust law for a timid respect. The effect eventually wore off, but the Microsoft antitrust case created a brief window where real competition was possible without the constant threat of being crushed by lawless monopolists. Sometimes you have to execute an admiral to encourage the others.
A decade in IRS hell will be even more painful for Microsoft than the antitrust years were. For one thing, the Puerto Rico scam was mainly a product of ex-CEO Steve Ballmer, a man possessed of so little executive function that it's a supreme irony that he was ever a corporate executive. Ballmer is a refreshingly plain-spoken corporate criminal who is so florid in his blatant admissions of guilt and shouted torrents of self-incriminating abuse that the exhibits in the Microsoft-IRS cases to come are sure to be viral sensations beyond even the Gates deposition's high-water mark.
It's not just Ballmer, either. In theory, corporate crime should be hard to prosecute because it's so hard to prove criminal intent. But tech executives can't help telling on themselves, and are very prone indeed to putting all their nefarious plans in writing (think of the FTC conspirators who hung out in a group-chat called "Wirefraud"):
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/
Ballmer's colleagues at Microsoft were far from circumspect on the illegitimacy of the Puerto Rico gambit. One Microsoft executive gloated – in writing – that it was a "pure tax play." That is, it was untainted by any legitimate corporate purpose other than to create a nonsensical gambit that effectively relocated Microsoft's corporate headquarters to a tiny CD-pressing plant in the Caribbean.
But if other Microsoft execs were calling this a "pure tax play," one can only imagine what Ballmer called it. Ballmer, after all, is a serial tax-cheat, the star of multiple editions of the IRS Files. For example, there's the wheeze whereby he has turned his NBA team into a bottomless sinkhole for the taxes on his vast fortune:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/08/tuyul-apps/#economic-substance-doctrine
Or his "tax-loss harvesting" – a ploy whereby rich people do a "wash trade," buying and selling the same asset at the same time, not so much circumventing the IRS rules against this as violating those rules while expecting the IRS to turn a blind eye:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/24/tax-loss-harvesting/#mego
Ballmer needs all those scams. After all, he was one of the pandemic's most successful profiteers. He was one of eight billionaires who added at least a billion more to his net worth during lockdown:
https://inequality.org/great-divide/billionaire-bonanza-2020/
Like all forms of rot, corruption spreads. Microsoft turned Washington State into a corporate tax-haven and starved the state of funds, paving the way for other tax-cheats like Amazon to establish themselves in the area. But the same anti-corruption movement that revitalized the IRS has also taken root in Washington, where reformers instituted a new capital gains tax aimed at the ultra-wealthy that has funded a renaissance in infrastructure and social spending:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/03/when-the-tide-goes-out/#passive-income
If the IRS does manage to drag Microsoft through the courts for the next decade, it's going to do more than air the company's dirty laundry. It'll expose more of Ballmer's habitual sleaze, and the ways that Microsoft dragged a whole state into a pit of austerity. And even more importantly, it'll expose the Puertopia conspiracy, a neocolonial project that transformed Puerto Rico into an onshore-offshore tax-haven that saw the island strip-mined and then placed under corporate management:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/27/boricua/#que-viva-albizu
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/13/pour-encoragez-les-autres/#micros-tilde-one
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My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!
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vanteguccir · 1 month
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You're mine | Matt Sturniolo
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Matt Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Where Y/N is a ray of sunshine, and Matt is her dose of grumpness.
Warning: None.
Requested?: Yes, by @httpsm4tti
Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
"Get out."
Y/N smiled as she heard Matt's short and authoritative voice echo through the walls of their shared room.
"Hi baby, are you okay?"
Matt lifted his head instantly, pulling his attention away from the computer screen in front of him and toward the door, where his girlfriend was standing.
A tray was resting securely in her open palms as a teasing gaze looked back at him.
A sigh escaped his lips, and Y/N knew it wasn't because he was stressed about seeing her but rather completely relieved. His tense posture gradually eased, and his frown dissolved, giving way to a calming stance.
"What are you doing here, petal?" Matt's tone came out soft, his hands leaving the keyboard and resting on his gray sweatpants covered thighs.
"You've been locked in here for hours. I haven't seen you get out to eat or drink anything until now..." Y/N began, starting her quick steps towards the brunette. "And since I know you're on a task to answer every email sent to the channel, I decided to bring you some snacks and drinks." A big smile spread across her face, her hands working on resting the tray on the empty space of his desk.
Matt glanced briefly at the contents on the wooden surface, fighting back a smile as he noticed all of his favorite snacks, plus a handmade sandwich and a can of rootbeer.
"You didn't need to do all this, sweetheart." The boy brought his blue orbs back to his girlfriend, his right hand coming up and resting on her hip lightly, gently stroking the covered skin.
"Anything for you, my love."
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
The sound of the door to his shared room with Y/N opening ​​echoed through Matt's ears. The boy was in the kitchen preparing breakfast for himself and his girlfriend, the sun's rays streaming through the living room's large windows serving as his only source of lighting.
Y/N's muffled and quick footsteps sounded through the small hallway that led to where he was.
The boy didn't need to turn around to know that she was now standing behind him, probably just the large wooden table separating them.
"Good morning, baby!" Y/N's voice was like music to his ears, and Matt found himself wondering how she could be so happy at this time of the day, a small "morning" escaping his lips in response. "You won't believe the dream I had."
A smile almost imperceptibly appeared on the right corner of Matt's lips, the kind of smile that only Y/N was capable of eliciting from him.
The boy turned around with Y/N's favorite mug in one hand and a small plate with flowers drawn on it in the other, both containing coffee with a dash of milk and waffles with honey, just the way his girl liked.
The brunette placed them both on the surface in front of the seat that Y/N had already designated as hers, picking up his own plate and mug before sitting down in front of her.
"Nick and I were at this different theater, and we were going to watch a horror movie, which already started out weird because we know how much he hates horror movies..." Y/N started quickly, pausing momentarily to take a bite of her waffle, a hint of honey smearing the corner of her mouth. "But the weirdest thing was that the movie wasn't horror. It only had two main characters, and they rode horses the whole time. And then, out of nowhere, they adopted a mute dog and a blind cat, which were the cutest little things I've ever seen..."
The girl kept going, her voice changing intonation with each word while her expressions moved quickly, her free hand gesturing while her other hand held her waffle tightly, taking bites from time to time.
Matt remained silent, a serious - but relaxed - expression took over his face, while his mouth slowly chewed the pieces of his own toast, nodding his head every now and then, showing to her that he was paying attention, just like everyday.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
To outsiders, the scene unfolding there seemed to be amusing.
Y/N, with a big smile on her face and yellow flowing dress surrounding her, was quickly pulling a serious-looking Matt with completely black clothes, which covered almost his entire body.
"Come on, baby! There's an ice cream cart right there." The girl repeated the information that had already been given previously, pointing enthusiastically with the index finger of her free hand at the small pastel-colored cart on the other side of the street.
"I can see that." Matt muttered, feigning annoyance, but everyone who knew them knew how much he was loving it.
"Can I get a strawberry one? Please! Oh, and which flavor will you want? I know you love the chocolate one, but it's so nice to change things up sometimes." Y/N rambled, finally approaching the cart, smiling big at the salesperson in greeting. "So?"
"You can order anything you want for me." Matt surrendered, catching the intense gleam in his girl's eyes with his response before averting his own, fishing his wallet out of his pocket, ready to just make the payment and seat on a random wooden bench, looking forward to hearing her ramble about her week.
"Good afternoon! Can I have a strawberry one and a cream one, please?"
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
"Baby, can you get me a Diet Coke? Please." Y/N briefly interrupted her conversation with Tara, looking at her boyfriend.
Matt was sitting next to Y/N on one of the couches at Tara's big 1 million party, his arms were crossed and his expression was serious - almost angry -, his eyes carried a steady gaze that circled around the people in the room, ignoring the screams and loud music, only his girl's voice echoing in his ears.
The brunette looked at her momentarily, nodding and leaning down slightly, sealing his lips on the side of her head gently before standing up, walking with firm steps towards the nearest bar.
It didn't take long, and soon the boy was returning to his previous spot, his hands balancing a can of Diet Coke and a can of Rootbeer.
His blue eyes almost instantly found the figure of his girlfriend, who was still talking to Tara, but now Nick was with them as well.
A small smile appeared on his lips as he watched her speak with so much passion, gesturing too much and changing her expressions too quickly.
But his own smile quickly fell when he saw a strange guy sitting in his previous seat, wrapping his arm over the back of the couch right behind Y/N's head and bringing his body closer to his girlfriend's, too close for his liking.
It was obvious that the guy knew Tara, as he immediately started talking to her, but his body language showed his interest in Y/N.
"Move. Now." Matt's serious and rude voice suddenly sounded as soon as he approached them, startling the small group. His eyes were fixed on the unknown boy, glaring at him.
His action brought small reactions from the others; Nick rolled his eyes, already used to his brother and his way of acting with everyone - except his girl. Tara raised her right eyebrow, her eyes traveling from the boy to Matt and back again.
But Y/N just smiled sincerely, ignoring the rudeness of his tone. Her eyes instantly lit up upon meeting her boyfriend and even more so upon seeing him holding her order.
"I won't repeat myself." Matt demanded, keeping his gaze steady on the guy, who quickly understood the message and got up from the couch, raising his hands in surrender before leaving.
Matt sat back down in the now empty space, handing his girl the Diet Coke before placing his arm right where the other boy's was, his fingertips caressing the exposed skin of her right shoulder.
He took advantage of Tara and Nick starting a new topic and brought his head closer to Y/N's, pressing his lips against her ear.
"You're mine, babe. Only mine."
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
"Are you ready, honey?" Y/N asked as she finished fastening her necklace around her neck, her eyes fixed on the mirror next to their closet in the room she shared with Matt.
"I just... I don't know which sneakers to wear." Matt's voice sounded tired, his brow furrowed as his eyes traveled over the extensive row of sneakers he owned.
The girl turned around, approaching him while throwing her hair over her shoulders, running her hands over the light pink dress that hugged her body just right.
The two were getting ready to go to the Snapchat event that would take place in a few hours, and as usual Matt always asked his girlfriend for some tips on one of the pieces he would wear for the day.
"Wear the white and blue Jordans. I like how they look on you." Y/N opined, pointing to the indicated pair, caressing his right bicep before turning around, crossing the already open bedroom door to check if Nick and Chris were ready.
The duo was lying on the sofa, both ready and using their respective phones, just waiting for the couple.
"Finally! If I knew how to drive, I would have left you two behind." Chris grumbled, adjusting his posture on the upholstery and putting his cell in his pants pocket.
"You still didn't learn to drive properly because you're lazy and too comfortable with me just driving your ass around." Matt's voice echoed behind Y/N, his figure leaving their room and closing the door behind him, his expression straight and his eyes carrying a serious gaze.
"Oh my God, you look handsome, baby! I knew Jordan would work out just fine." Y/N ignored the small fight between them, her eyes traveling over Matt's body, admiring his clothes despite them being simple and black - as always.
Matt rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance, but the traces of an almost non-existent smile appearing on the right corner of his lips while his cheeks took on a red hue said otherwise.
"Oh, how handsome you are, Matt." Nick joked, imitating Y/N's voice and fawning his right hand over his face, blinking his eyes repeatedly, earning a loud laugh from Chris and an amused smile from Y/N.
"Shut the fuck up. Get moving. Now!" Matt barked back, glaring at his brothers before finally approaching his girl.
He placed his left hand on the small of her back, gently guiding her to the stairs that led them to the garage, ready to go.
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
My asks are always open. My requests are closed at the moment since I have many to work in, but you can always send questions or simply talk to me 🩷💋
And remember to treat people with kindness always!
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