#he's not gonna die alone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kyojurokoibito · 2 years

Text

"You Do Love Me...Right?"

Pairing(s): zenitsu agatsuma x tsundere!reader

Genre: angst->fluff

Synopsis: after countless rejections, zenitsu is ecstatic when you finally accepted his confession, even if you told him he had to wait in order to marry you. your're dating, but it doesn't really feel like it. you do love him...right?

Warning(s): crying zenitsu :( quick glimpse of soft!sanemi if you squint, not proof read 0_0

Kao's Notes: i know i have quite a few requests, and i haven't forgotten them! i just had this idea and i wanted to see how it'd go, but idk how i feel about it yet. i also wanted to write for someone other than rengoku for rn lol. also, this one feels kinda long to me, soooo grab a snack!

a certain level of patience is required when dating zenitsu

he's in need of constant reassurance, as his self-esteem isn't the highest by any means which we all know

you initially met each other at the spider forest incident

you're actually the tsuguko of sanemi, as you shared the same breathing technique, and he deemed you, "not a complete waste of time..."

but you felt it'd be beneficial to take on the art of medicine as well, so you could aid in both offense and defense. shinobu was more than happy to teach you, and you grew to be quite the medical asset

when giyuu and shinobu were called to the forest, kanao and yourself were called to accompany them to provide support

sanemi was inwardly hesitant to let you go, not liking the idea of his protige possibly facing a demon moon–even a lower one– this early in their slayer journey

he never did that admit it to you though, he just flopped a heavy hand onto your head and sent you on your way, muttering a gruff, "don't go dying on me to get out of training...you better come back."

later in your journey, giyuu and shinobu had gone ahead, leaving you and kanao to travel together. you didn't mind though, she didn't talk much and neither did you, so you didn't mind traveling with her. she could also hold her own

along the way, you two had split up, providing help to those in different sectors of the forest to cover more ground

after treating everyone in a portion of the forest, you moved on to another, where shinobu so happen to be, and she looked to you. "ah, good timing, y/n. would you mind finishing this boy's treatment," she stood and began on her way. "the poison's gotten awfully far. treat him quickly, will you. oh my!" she looked at zenitsu. "his face is very red! best you hurry, y/n!"

with that, shinobu sped off

wordlessly getting to work, you began to perform your quick treatment on the boy clad in yellow, bringing out a large roll of bandages from one of the many pouches you attached to your belt

"there," you continued wrapping the boy up, speaking in a monotonous yet gentle, voice. "you're going to be just fine, i can assure you."

he wanted to say much more, but in his increasingly weakening state, all zenitsu could utter was a quiet, "p-pretty..."

that definitely threw you for a loop, not that you'd let him see it. you just continued to wrap up his body, opting for a curt, "try not to talk too much...save your energy."

and that was your first encounter with the boy

after the whole incident with the master's decision to keep nezuko and her brother, tanjiro, as demon slayers, you continued your training with sanemi as usual

he was internally relieved to see your safe return, showing it with a swift smack on the head with a, "it's about time you got back," he turned on his heels, beckoning you to following him, which you did, gladly. "back to your training"

you'd been called upon to assist tanjiro with his training when you weren't too occupied with your own, alongside kanao. and you had to admit, being quite the challenge against the boy was rather entertaining

he returned day after day trying to best you in tag and hand-to-hand combat. but, your favorite was some cup of water game where you were granted the entertainment of throwing water in the boy's face if you managed to cover his hand before he could cover yours

and you beat him everytime

later, zenitsu and inosuke joined in the game-like training, and inosuke was rather good at the tag portion of it. he was eager to catch you, and he did, holding you above his head as he did so

zenitsu was a different kind of eager

he vividly remembered you from the forest, healing his wounds and treating the spreading poison from his body. you were breathtakingly beautiful in his eyes

and now, he has to catch you! actually hold you!

the game of tag was a walk in the park for him. you were quite the encouragement, in his opinion, as he was more than happy to chase after you and claim you as his prize

you, on the other hand, were dumbfounded

you weren't surprised inosuke was able to catch you. hell, you thought he'd run after anything that moved, but zenitsu's sudden devotion to you was odd

his eagerness to catch you threw you for a loop; you never had to run so fast in your life, but he still managed to reprimand you

but he didn't immediately slam you back on the ground *cough* like inosuke *cough* no, he handled you like you were the most precious thing in the world

then he went on about marriage, and that's when you pushed yourself off of him

and your relationship grew from there

he began by giving nezuko a heartfelt "break up" soliloquy, proclaiming "his heart has been captured by another." and the demon girl replied with a relieved "mmh"

zenitsu would constantly trail behind you, declaring his undying love for you, not allowing a day to go by without you hearing his marriage proposal

"why the hell would i marry you?" would always be your reply, and he'd falter a little but would always bounce back and try again the next time he saw you

as time passed, you grew inwardly fond of zenitsu, finding his unwavering admiration for you oddly adorable

he'd get water for you when he's sees you undergo a challenging training session with sanemi and gush endlessly about how strong you are

after a while, when zenitsu asked you to marry him, your responses would subtly changed

when he'd drop to his knee in front of you, loudly exclaiming "y/n! please, marry me!" your response changed to, "don't be stupid. we're way too young for that."

and zenitsu caught on to that! "so you're saying, in the future, when we're older, we will?!?!" you cleared your throat, rolling your eyes and walked away without providing him with a response

but he's persistent

later one night, when you're getting ready for bed, zenitsu gave you his final declaration of love for the day, asking for your hand in marriage

"zenitsu," you started in feigned annoyance, "marriage is for something years later. when we're absolutely. certain if you want us to get that far, we need to start from square one."

'us'...'we'...hang on

"AHHHHH!!! ARE YOU SAYING...Y-YOU WANNA BE WITH ME?!?!" zenitsu's yelling caused your ears to ring and you quickly shushed him, "shh, yes. now, shut up before you wake everyone up"

he's been (clingier) clingy since that night

zenitsu's love language is physical touch, and you're not too used to that just yet, so anytime he runs up to hug you, you react like you normally would

you'd push him off of you, only more gentle than usual so he wouldn't fall on the ground below

9 times out of 10, zenitsu's doesn't pay any to your tsundere tendencies and he hugs you again, as he knows you'll cave in eventually

but you never returned his hugs

and there's only so much he can take before he starts to question whether or not you actually love him

you just always seemed so...done with him

anytime he'd appear, greeting you with his usual enthusiastic hug and a kiss on the cheek, you'd hastily turn your head away, "w-warn me next time, sheesh." then you'd only reciprocate it with a flick to his forehead or something, but you wouldn't even look at him

zenitsu thought it'd eventually calm down once your relationship, if he could even call it that, grew but he's not so sure anymore

you might've bitten off more than you could chew this time. might've.

with the level of intensity that came along with sanemi's training, missions grew to feel much easier. since you shared the same breathing style as him, your forms became that much stronger. demons weren't going to stand a chance against you.

unbeknownst to sanemi, you've been working on creating an 11th form with the additional help of tomioka.

it's true, you've gotten stronger, but your current predicament confirmed the that you still have a way to go.

your bright green nichirin blade was lodged in between the sharp fangs of a demon, who you could tell was in close relations with kibutsuji based on their power.

you were pinned roughly on the ground, wincing at the many jagged rocks that pierced into your back as you struggled to free your leg from between the demon's. the muscles in your arms began to burn, the weight of the demon's body beginning to become unbearable.

once your leg was freed, you brought your knee back before fully extending it, delivering a painful kick to the demon's chest. after the demon went flying, you quickly regained control of your breathing.

you charged towards the demon, barely giving them any time to recover. before the demon could blink, you were behind them. a small 'thump' echoing in the small town as its head rolled against the concrete.

collapsing to your knees, you cursed beneath your breath as your injuries began to take effect, the adrenaline you felt during your battle wearing off. digging your blade into the dirt, you supported your weight into the hilt of the blade before pushing yourself up from the ground.

haganezuka-san would surely have your head on a platter is he witnessed you doing this to one of his precious blades, but if you hadn't, you would've continued laying in the blood-soaked dirt.

"caw! caw," you nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden appearance of your faithful crow. "y/n, please make your way toward the wisteria house for recovery! shinobu's assistants will help you there!"

ignoring the loud mouth bird, you began to limp your way to the wisteria house.

"caw! caw! y/n, please make your way to–CaW!" the crow squawked, flying out of the way when you tiredly swatted at the bird in agitation.

"i heard you!"

the trek to the house felt incredibly long, your legs growing weaker with every step you took. thankfully, the nearest wisteria house wasn't too terribly far.

upon arrival, you were quick to find the nearest bath and rid yourself of the blood and dirt. wrapping the soft yukata the kind lady brought around your waist, you made your way back to your room.

sinking to your knees on the soft mat below, a soft sigh left your lips.

"zenitsu's probably worried..."

truth be told, you felt incredibly guilty.

you know zenitsu is trying his hardest to make you feel like a queen in your relationship. it nearly impossible not to see. from him serenading you with the most heartfelt monologue when you were to set off on a mission alone, to the enthusiastic praise he'd offer during training, you knew zenitsu loves you. and you love him too...

you just don't know if he knows.

relationships, being friendly or platonic, isn't your strong suit. the mere thought of becoming vulnerable with others, or putting any amount of trust in them, is terrifying.

"i love you," seemed like the most complicated phrase to say. and it was only three word! three! so why are they so hard to say?!

"nnn-channnn...."

the hell? you stopped and listened, wondering if your ears were playing tricks on you. they weren't, by the way.

"y/nNnNNn-chAaAaAnAnnnnnn!"

oh zenitsu...

his footsteps and wailing grew louder as he came nearer. the door nearly slid off it's hinges at the amount of force he used to push it open.

"quit screaming," you began to scold. "others are trying to res–"

your back nearly collides with the floor as zenitsu wrapped his arms your neck, attacking you in a relief-filled hug. he wailing only increased in volume.

"y-y-your crow came back and said you were injured," you grimaced at the sound of him inhaling snot back into his nose, but let him hug you nonetheless along with a half hearted head pat. "i didn't know if you were coming back! w-w-who would protect me of you died?!"

"it's nothing to cry over, zenitsu." you gently pushed him off of you.

"w-why," he sniffles before wiping his nose on his sleeve. "why do you always do that..."

now you weren't stupid.

at some point in the relationship, you knew zenitsu would question you. you believe he is more perspective than he lets on, and you knew zenitsu noticed your lack of emotional response.

you just weren't prepared for the conversation, no matter how many times you rehearsed it in your head.

"...do what," you decided to play aloof for a while, eyes narrowing in confusion.

"that," zenitsu motioned to you. "you're just always so...emotionless all the time." you furrowed your eyebrows.

"i'm not emotionless," you subtly gripped the sleeve of your yukata. "i'm just not a sensitive person, like you."

"i know that," zenitsu's voice grew softer by the second. "but i have to wonder sometimes, y/n, you do love me...right?"

your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach.

although, you're not surprised either. the last thing you wanted was for zenitsu to question your love for him because, believe me, you loved him more than anything. but, with the conflicted look on his face, it was apparent that he wasn't aware of it.

you tried to show him your love in small gestures rather than words: your timid head pats, covering him with a blanket anytime he fell asleep in random places, and connection your pinkies together whenever you were assigned the same mission. you tried. you really did.

but it seems it wasn't enough.

"i see..." zenitsu took your shocked silence as an answer to his question before he picked himself up from the mat and made his way out the door.

you didn't move. you couldn't move. watching zenitsu walk out that door hurt you more than anything, and for the first time in years, your tears splashes against the wood floors below.

days after that, you were finally released from the wisteria house, and you could return to the demon slayer corps headquarters.

all you could think about was zenitsu on your way back.

you and crow would usually bicker back and forth, making the time fly much quicker. but the trip was filled with melancholy silence, as you were in no mood to talk with your spunky crow today.

luckily for you, sanemi kept you busy with training once you returned. saying something along the lines of "you've had enough time off; now hurry up and follow me to the training grounds." which you knew was a direct translation for "i never want to come that close to losing you again." that's why, you believe, you and sanemi got along so well.

you both show your true feelings through small gestures and underling messages. and you immediately picked up on it, both of you.

while sanemi kept you busy, zenitsu moped about. his newfound sadness hit tanjiro's nose like a ton of bricks, and he couldn't be more worried.

and it wasn't just from zenitsu. anytime tanjiro walked past the training grounds, where you and sanemi reside, the same sad smell entered his nose. while you were occupied and training well, you were sad too.

on the outside, it appeared you had your same stone cold expression. but on the inside, you were despondent. all you could think about was zenitsu.

"you're done for today." sanemi's gruff voice cut through the air. he sheathed his sword as he watched you pant heavily from your recent sparring loss. "i'm not gonna waste my time if your head's not in it. go figure your shit out."

without giving you a chance to retaliate, sanemi walked away from you, tossing you a towel before completely making his leave.

"y/n-chan," you were in the middle of wiping the sweat off your face when someone called your name. peaking from the cloth, you gave a nod.

"hello, tanjiro." you were considerably close with each other. tanjiro was arguably the most kind-hearted soul you've met, and he read your emotions remarkably well. and it wasn't uncommon for him to help you with them as well.

"how're you," he placed his hands behind his back, looking at you expectedly. you rolled your eyes.

"you want something," you dropped the towel around your shoulders. "what is it?"

the boy sweat dropped and scratched behind his head, "o-oh you caught that, huh? hehe..." you lifted an eyebrow, waiting for him to get to the point. "well, it's...is everything okay? with you and zenitsu, i mean?"

the same sad smell hit his nose again; he got his answer.

"...n-no. it's not okay," a frown tugged at your lips, your eyes casting towards the ground. "i messed everything up, tanjiro."

tanjiro frowned at the crack in your voice; he'd never witnessed your expression change, and the fact that the first one he witnessed was sadness didn't sit well with him.

"what happened?"

"my stupid emotions," you gripped the towel, "or lack thereof. z-zenitsu doesn't think i love him, tanjiro..." tanjiro furrowed his brows.

"why not," tanjiro scratched his chin with his index finger. "i can easily tell you love him? why can't he?"

"i'm just...terrible at saying it; i've never been able to. i tried showing him, i did, b-but i guess it wasn't enough."

"y/n–"

"no, i-it's fine. this is my fault, anyways." you spun on your heels, heading towards the nearest bathhouse. "i'll see you around, tanjiro."

the young slayer was about to follow you, but he figured it'd be best to leave you be. emotions leave room for vulnerability, something he knew you weren't too keen on, so left you to gather your thoughts.

instead, he had to go talk some sense into someone else.

it didn't take long for tanjiro to find zenitsu; all he had to do was follow the depressing smell. and there he was, curled up in his room.

"zenitsu..." said boy flinched at the sudden voice.

"o-oh tanjiro," zenitsu slowly sat up, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "what're you doing here?"

"well," tanjiro scratched the nape of his neck. this was a touchy subject, and he was feeling nervous about bringing it up. "i talked to y/n earlier, and–"

"WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

zenitsu's wailing caused tanjiro to flinch; he gulped at the yellow boy's sudden burst of tears.

"tanjiroooo," zenitsu nearly knocked the poor boy over as he went to hug him. dramatically sliding down, zenitsu dropped to his knees and continued to sob into tanjiro's stomach. "why doesn't she love me, tanjiro?! i-i was right all along! i-i-i'm just gonna DIE ALONE!"

"z-zenitsu," tanjiro frantically strarted. "please calm down. "

"CALM DOWN?!" zenitsu screamed. "i find out the woman i love doesn't love me, and you tElL mE tOo CALM DOWN?!"

"zenitsu–"

"i didn't know you were so heartless, tanjiro! HOW COULD YOU?!?!"

"z-zenitsu, please just–"

"WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

tanjiro gulped as zenitsu continued to wail loudly into his shirt, and he finally pushed zenitsu so he could look at him, grimacing as a string of snot connected from his shirt to zenitsu's nose.

"ZENITSU!"

he sniffed, "w-what?"

"she does love you."

"n-no she doesn't," zenitsu admitted in defeat. "i asked her, a-and she didn't answer me, so..." his voice grew increasingly weaker, and tanjiro sighed.

"i know she loves you zenitsu, but–"

"i-if she loves me," zenitsu cut him off. "why hasn't she told me..." he asked in defeat, and tanjiro relaxed his shoulders.

"i-it's just...not easy for her to say, but zenitsu, haven't you noticed her show her love in other ways..." tanjiro asked in a knowing tone.

"w-what," zenitsu paused to sniffle. "whaddya mean?"

"just think back for a moment, zenitsu."

zenitsu furrowed his eyebrows, thinking back.

----

"y/nnnn," zenitsu cried out in fear. "i-it's so dark out here!" you sighed.

"well, yes zenitsu, demons can only come out during the night," you responded sarcastically, pushing forward through the woods. "so, why wouldn't it be dark out?"

"y/n!" zenitsu scurried to catch up with you, as he somehow fell behind. "please don't leave me! i wouldn't last a minute out here alone!"

"c'mon," you interlocked your pinkies together, causing zenitsu's panicking to cease. "just stay close 'nitsu," your voice grew soft, eyes softening every so slightly as you kept them locked on the terrain ahead. "everything's okay."

zenitsu didn't say anything, only looking at your connected pinkies as his cheeks and the tips of his ears dusted pink, trailing behind you like a lovesick puppy.

----

zenitsu slowly stood from his kneeling position, as his mind reminded him of, yet another, declaration of love from you.

----

returning from a rather tiring mission, zenitsu couldn't wait to collapse on his comfortable bed. he'd never taken a bath so quickly in his life.

after changing from his uniform to a comfortable kimono, zenitsu collapsed into his bed. the soft mattress has never felt so comfortable.

just as he was about to doze off, zenitsu heads his door close. he didn't bother opening his eyes to see who it was, he was far too tired for that, so he remained still listening to the soft padding if feet approach him.

feeling his hair get pushed back from his forehead, zenitsu's heart nearly pounded out of his chest when he heard you.

"i'm glad you made it back, zenny," you whispered before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "rest well."

gently pulling the blanket over his shoulders, you gently ran your fingers through his soft hair. after you finished tucking him in, you quietly made your leave, carefully closing the door behind you.

zenitsu's eyes shot open, any ounce of sleep leaving him. he couldn't wipe the giddy smile off his face that night.

----

gripping his hair, zenitsu let out a panicked wail.

"AHHHHHHH!!! WHAT DID I DO?!?!"

"calm down," tanjiro spoke out. "this can be fixed. just go talk to her, and i'm sure everything will work out," tanjiro placed a soft hand on his friend's shoulder with a reassuring smile.

he didn't have tell him twice.

before tanjiro could even blink, zenitsu was out of the door and on his way to find you.

you just finished your bath after sanemi's training, and are currently seeking refuge in your own room.

"nnnNNn-chAaAaAnAAAAANNNN!!!"

your door nearly flew off it's hinges at the force zenitsu used to open it.

"zenitsu? what's wro–oof!"

arms wrapped around your waist, knocking you to the ground in a bone crushing hug.

"please forgive me, y/n-chan," he buried his face into your chest, immediately flustering you.

"i-i don't even know what you're talking," you tried nudging him off of you, but that only caused his grip to tighten.

"i doubted your love for me! i promise it'll never happen again!"

"zenitsu...you were right to question me..." your eyes cast down to the floor in a guilty manner. "i-i've never been able to say it, so i see why you'd have your doubts," zenitsu lifted his face out of your chest, resting his chin on it as he looked up at you.

"but i promise you," you finally looked up at him, and his heart nearly melted at the nervous smile you gave. "i...i really do love, zenitsu."

...

your smile fell; zenitsu didn't say a word, only stared at you. did you wait too long to say it? was it not convincing? because you do mean it.

"zenitsu, a-are–"

he tackled you to the floor again, this time, rubbing his cheek against yours before peppering it with vigorous kisses.

"hahaha," he laughed, feeling giddy. "you loveeee meee!"

you deadpanned, and playfully rolled your eyes with a scoff. well, at least he feels better now.

~3 hours later~

"y/nnnnnnn" not again.

you huffed as zenitsu cooed your name for the millionth time, "what."

"do you love meeee," he asked in a whiny/teasing tone, drawing patterns on your cheek as he did so.

"yes," you rolled your eyes. "for the millionth time," you mumbled to yourself.