the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me
just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.
like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.
in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.
A NOTE, ATTACHED TO THE TALONS OF A MESSANGER BLUEBIRD.
High Druid, I remember when you told me the story of how I was found: alone in the forest, defenseless against the cold and creatures who roamed freely all around me. And yet no harm had befallen me as I slept, a mere babe who you then took in as if your own. You were always so sure it was Silvanus who protected me that night, who gave me the strength to grow up to see the beauties of this world, the wonders of nature. Now I'm sure I was blessed back then, just so that I could be here, trapped under an endless night sky, nature's song sounding discordant and wrong to my hears and yet, unafraid. I've found so much resilience in my travels, so much faith and bravery. I keep between my fingers the seedlings of a love so pure I feel almost undeserving of it. I hope the Oak Father will watch over me one more time, as I try my best to let it blossom into something as beautiful as his creations.
Thinking of you and the others, always. Yours, Nimue.
there's just something different about pete in the epilogue. he seems so much more settled in his own skin, he takes the time to consider what he's hearing, what he wants to say, how he wants to touch. there's a general sense of calmness that I think can only have come from a significant amount of introspection while vegas was unconscious, after the intense emotional whirlwind of the attempted coup and his resignation.
pete said himself he tries to live in the present, and i think part of that has been a defense mechanism, trying to not self-analyse too deeply or he'll have to confront the emptiness lurking there ("no. I've always been useless."). but after the finale, after finally owning up to what he truly wants and going after it, pete has had time to look at those choices he made in a desperate situation and has had to confront himself about them.
so when vegas asks him why he's still here, he takes a moment to really think about it. and unlike when vegas asked him before at the safehouse why he came back, he actually answers. he gives an answer that could have seemed flippant, but there's nothing but sincerity in the way it's delivered. he can't go anywhere else. and then: he just wants to follow his heart.
it's not a complicated answer. but it's what he didn't understand or couldn't face up to before, and he can only do so now because he isn't hiding away from himself any more. he knows that this was a choice he made and he will stand by it, keep making it, because it's what he wants. he seems so comfortable in his own skin in a way he hasn't before because now he isn't just living in the present: he's thinking about the past and what it will take to live with that, and most importantly he's thinking about the future and the life they could build together. the life he wants to build together.
and that conviction that he wants to keep following his heart gives us a version of pete who is so much more whole than any we've seen before
🌈 Free the gays from weird heteronormative top/bottom discourse 2k24!!! 🖤 (And by extension, the dom/sub associations that go with it!! Which are also a completely separate though sometimes overlapping concept!!!)
Write your violent angry murder blorbo getting railed!! Make that sweet shy angel baby a top! Make them both verse and throw the concept out altogether because it’s inherently a bit silly to start with!! ✨ And your personality in the rest of your life often has nothing to do with your bedroom preferences anyway! ✨
Or don’t! Do whatever you want because it’s fanfiction! 🥰✨ Write them with whatever dynamics or lack thereof that you want—that’s the point! And no one can tell you what is and isn’t okay to write in your own fics!! 🎊 They're fictional characters, have fun!!!!!
you guys won't believe this but y'all what a miracle..... God's grace always seems to come in floods when you least expect it. The boy problem is now resolved and at rest (well. somewhat.)
I somehow got around to talking to him yesterday about the disastrous conversation (the one where he went on at length about my age) and, God bless him, it was all ignorance rather than malice. He listened for a while, his face becoming more and more drawn and appalled as I explained how X thing came off, and at one point he just put his head on the table and was very, very upset because he hadn't thought about it from my perspective and hadn't realised the effects of his words. It was a surprisingly comfortable conversation (it is always easy to talk to him), and it was a relief to hear from his lips that he hadn't meant any of it in a hurtful way - he hadn't thought about how his words might sound at all.
i think if you were dating danny and you told him you were touch starved he would gesture to his whole body and say “there's a whole buffet for you right here baby what are you complaining about”
every day I think about doug eiffel being exposed to the concept of transgenderism. "her pronouns are they/them" type of guy
the contrast between him being an all around decent person vs not really getting it at least at first yk. they go into similar ideas with his character a lot in the podcast come to think of it like as a serious arc. I just think it's kind of funny
(combining your asks for clarity)
yeah. <3 he's so clueless. like you said, it's just kinda how he operates - he's well-meaning and accepting, but he's still trying to unlearn his assumption of himself as the default person, and he has chronic foot-in-mouth disease. not that he wouldn't occasionally say something incredibly boneheaded, or ask the dumbest question you've ever heard out of sheer ignorance, because... he would... but i think he'd actually be very normal about trans people. if it's not a big deal, he'd be perfectly casual about it and would have no trouble gendering you correctly. the real concern is if it becomes a big deal, at which point he will become hyperaware of his failure to fully grasp the concept, and overcompensate through loud and embarrassing performative gestures. so you know he's totally cool and supportive.
obviously i think of hera as a trans woman, but her gender identity and presentation are straightforward and understandable to eiffel. like i've said before, she needs to make friends with people who are weirder about their genders so that eiffel is put in situations where he has to make split-second decisions about whether or not calling a group of people "ladies" is the right call. i need hera to make the kind of friends on earth for whom her normalguy cis boyfriend is just an amusing novelty. for no reason except that it would be very, very funny to me.