#he's such a good

[eighthdoctor]

Maximianus Philophonos Bard 11/Rogue 1

Because we're at the end of the campaign, I wanted to write up a little bit about Max.

Max started as a combo of two A+ tier ideas:

A charisma caster but the charisma is "the most pathetic little man you've ever seen, you can't possibly say no"

A bard who thought being a bard was like being a professional musician and is shocked to find out that it is not, in fact, at all like being a professional musician.

The other thing going into Max is (before naming him, the name is only accidentally a pun) I wanted to abuse the shit out of the bard class. Minmax that fucker. Dating the DM is an excellent method for getting away with this. Turns out a single level in rogue gets you some expertise (2x proficiency bonus to some skills) which you then get MORE of with bard levels, and eventually bard gets you jack of all trades (1/2 proficiency to anything you're not proficient in) meaning that most of his skill checks are something like +5.

So out of universe I needed a guy whose first level was in rogue, remainder in bard, a classic pathetic little wet rat of a man, who is both wildly talented and also just. Completely incapable of using that for malicious OOC purposes otherwise my wife would kill me.

What I wound up with is someone who has crippling anxiety. Max is very nearly too anxious to function in society, gets outsize sympathy for it, and really can only do social interactions in the framework of performances.

See, at about 18 Max went to magical Juilliard to become first violin in the Requiem City Orchestra. After the first semester he realized two things:

Magical Juliliard is not really Juilliard at all, but more like the CIA academy if they also taught music.

He's trans. (Sidebar: He does not actually have a deadname. Maximianus is his stage performance name that he just sort of. Went with. After coming out.)

This is all hideously awkward and embarrassing and he has multiple fullblown panic attacks about the first thing.

Max's family is huge and overbearing and supportive and he doesn't really want to come out to them because it will be a Whole Thing TM and he is so, so, so bad about receiving affection, and he really doesn't want to tell them about the school mixup because then he's wasted their money and they'll never ever ever say anything about it but he's just a drain on their resources and also everyone will be so caring, so sympathetic, poor kid, homecooked meals for months, mom knocking on the door every day to see if he's still crying--

So he goes no-contact. To avoid explaining why he's dropping out of school.

He did accomplish one thing in that semester though, and that was making friends with a tabaxi student named Ihava (Ihava Nayme, because Jo mistakenly didn't give her a name and we promptly engaged her in conversation and also a subplot). Ihava is a budding revolutionary and realized that (a) Max totally has subversive tendencies and (b) the ability to baldfaced lie to cops and make the cops feel bad for you is priceless.

That's how Max got involved in a budding insurgency, and over the following year or so took his first class in rogue. Some theft, but mostly just skulking around, standing watch for others, passing info, etc.

Then he got itchy feet--Requiem isn't tiny but a year trying to avoid contact with any relatives, your luck will run out eventually, and Max is also just. He's not flighty but he does like novelty, and at some point the Violet Guard were gonna figure out that this kid was turning up at a lot of crime scenes. So he dropped a letter to the family (identity crisis etc graduated early etc going off to join the circus don't worry about me), and really just started moving across the country, working as a travelling minstrel.

He very rarely pays full room & board, instead playing for his dinner. He eventually washed up in Suncrest, and met the rest of the party when the tavern down the street [checks notes] exploded.

And this is where he really started taking off, because Max is two very cool things in one package:

He is just a good kid. When asked by a NPC why we were putting so much effort into helping her, his immediate, honest answer was "how could we not?" and he stands by that 11 levels later. He's somehow remained mostly Lawful Good despite some VERY sketchy actions, because at his core he wants to help people, and he wants to do so within a strict code of morals. They're just...sometimes unusual.

He's also got a VERY nasty imagination and will put his spell list to work in deeply creative (and fucked up) ways.

As an example. At level 4, Max got the second level spell Phantasmal Force, which lets you convince one being that Something Exists. This is obviously a spell mostly constrained by the player's creativity.

Also at level 4 Jo dropped us in a dungeon at the bottom of which was a Young Blue Dragon. This was moderately outleveled for the party and we should have fucked off.

Instead Max went "hey is that a male dragon" and the DM said yes, and Max mindfucked the dragon into thinking there was a Young Red (male) Dragon coming into HIS LAIR, and then the dragon spent multiple rounds trying to fight the illusion and we completely killed a dragon without major injury at level 4.

This became Max's Thing: Using his spell slots to wildly outsize effect, through monopolizing a major enemy, convincing NPCs to let us go where we really should not go, utilizing cold iron + animate objects to do serious damage to the Wild Hunt...

He didn't usually do the most damage and he didn't often get the kill shot, but he was doing battlefield control. A lot.

And so then we come to the final arc. Jo wrote up the bit about the Wish spell here. (I need to add that once again we fucked up her plans, because of COURSE the WIZARD would attune to the STAFF OF THREE WISHES, and no. Consensus was to let Max do it because Max is the words person. This worked out very well, see here.)

But just. You have the world's most anxious bard. He didn't even want to be A Bard, he wanted to be a musician. He also has a mindblowingly powerful artifact.

For over a minute, Max had to maintain perfect concentration to save the world. A friend died in that minute. Multiple friends fell unconscious and had to be revived (mostly by Max). Almost everyone in the party temporarily incapacitated themself (see here) to ensure that he passed Concentration saves he should have failed.

There's a massive battle going on entirely around Max. He is the focal point of everything. Everyone he loves is risking literally everything to keep him focused, and he spends most of it in a pocket dimension trying to keep breathing. He's channelling impossible power to try and fix the converging planes and defeat the Summer Queen, and he can only do this by not fighting, by hiding away and curling up tight and thinking very, very hard.

And he does it. He succeeds. We find out tomorrow what that looks like but god damn I am proud of my boy.

#HE'S SUCH A GOOD #i'm not sorry for putting this massive thing on everyone's dashes y'all deserve it #julis runs d&d

[hansoeii]

look at you, you're gorgeous!

#and nothing bad ever happened #this might've been what aziraphale imagined when he asked crowley to come with him #I have returned to tend to your wounds good omens fandom #hope this helps you heal #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens fanart #good omens 2 fanart #aziracrow fanart #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands fanart #neil gaiman #david tennant #michael sheen #aziraphale #crowley #my art #digital art #fanart

[kavaleyre]

• The Hanged Man •

“Compared to what Falin went through? This is nothing.”

#my art #laios touden #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi laios #hanged man #falin touden #dungeon meshi spoilers #cw blood #walk it off kid walk it off #I really thought hanged man was a good choice for this moment #hanged man is all about sacrifice and introspection and intuition #and a moment of trials that lead to clarity #also when he was falling??? with the blood out of the dragons mouth??? #stunning #i love him so much #the line art for this was so fast and then I colored and revolted the flats for like. 20 hours #like how it turned out in the end tho #kavaleyre

[captainsaltypear]

IS ANYONE ELSE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS OR

#hazbin hotel #huskerdust #hazbin husker #hazbin angel dust #hazbin angeldust #angeldust #husker #hazbin husk #look man im all for overlord husk but EXCUSE ME???????? #WHERE DID THIS COME FROM #I LITERALLY YELLED W H A T AT MY COMPUTER SCREEN WHEN HE SAID THIS #I KNEW HUSK WAS STRONGER THAN HE LET ON BUT AN OVERLORD??????? #GURL?????????? #DAMN SON #THIS new piece of information caught me so offguard that i was still reeling from it even after the emotional bomb that was loser baby #anyways huskerdust truthers how are we feeling #HOW DOES VICTORY FEEL #NO LONGER CRACKSHIP BROTHERS #WE'RE REAL #AND IM FEELING SO GOOD ABOUT IT #anwyways im doing very emotionally good how are you guys #im...gonna put a hiatus my own personal webcomic to cry over this for the next 6 months #girls help #keith david...........im so sorry i ever doubted you he ATE THAT UPPPP #hazbin hotel spoilers #pear post #scheeze art

[julnites]

Red riding hood comic collab with the wonderful @yeehawpim (go check out their blog for loads of great comics!) 🌷 See the layouts he did here!

#james art times #artists on tumblr #comics #comics!! very excited to do this and especially with pim who is just fantastic at what they do #fairy tales #little red riding hood #pim did the layouts and I rendered these and my goodness was it a good time #he also did the image descriptions so huge shout out for that as well #go check out her comics! you will not regret it

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Remember that this is not the proof that they love each other

That was a last-ditch attempt from Crowley to get Aziraphale to stay

This is the proof that they love each other

Their love wasn't just made real because they kissed

It always existed

#i will argue this point til my dying breath #they always loved each other #if you think the kiss was the only proof #then i adviae you to reexamine the relationship #the kiss wasn't romantic anyway #it was desperate and painful #it was a last ditch effort from crowley because he loves aziraphale so much #but it was not the confession #he'd already confessed his feelings #the kiss was never necessary to do that #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens spoilers #go2 spoilers

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

#this is just me ranting sorry #im very tired and hungry #and i want to sleep but brain go brrrrr #well i used to be nice and smart and now im neither of those or however the song goes #pretty sure he was exaggerating cause looking back. it was good. but some of the wording was a lil wonky #adhd #actually adhd #executive dysfunction #actually neurodiverse #adhd paralysis #adult adhd #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #adhd hacks #academia #neurodivergent #adhd skill regression #confessions of a burnt out gifted kid #<< i guess #former gifted kid #burnt out gifted kid #gifted kid burnout #realizing i sound rly pretentious here sorry -- formal speech patterns i picked up as an autistic child and never put down again haha

[chongoblog]

#hbomberguy #joke so good he did it twice

[nekophy]

AdamsApple? 👏

#im sure its proposed somewhere already but the shipname would be so good lmao #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #charlie morningstar #adam #angel dust cameo lol #THE FINALZ IS SO GOOD GUYS #my art #AdamsApple #hazbin hotel finale #Lucifer is babygirl omg he's my fave- #lucifer hazbin hotel #adam hazbin hotel

[somewhatvellum]

this will sureily convince the people that the royal family are not out of touch moneywasters and that we should be happy keeping them around for sure

#charles is already so unpopular why the fuck does he think this is a good idea 😭 #uk politics #uk monarchy #op #popular

[mag200]

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

#anyway. its only really good bc its a tragedy. doomed by the narrative etc. he has to turn around theres no other end. #greek mythology #sorry. this ones in post jail now.

[theharlotofferelden]

Genuinely loved the experience of being at camp for the first time and seeing all the companions with their tits out like they're all gonna go clubbin or some shit

Then there’s Gale

Who's just. So utterly swagless that his clothes smell like dusty old books. My man doesn't give a fuck about the drip he's getting his ass ready for bed

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate gale #game: baldur's gate 3 #c: gale #i am once again shitposting about gale #he's just a guy #just a silly lil guy #personal: my posts #dragon age #personal: shitpost #post so good it was stolen by a popular blogger #pinning this post until i make a new art piece #i made that work of eufemia back in 2021 it's been like 3 years lmao

[ciderbird]

academic bias is so funny because you’ll be reading about the same historical event and one person is like “Despite the troubles that befell his homeland and near constant criticism of the court King Blorbo remained strong in the face of adversity” and the other one is like “after letting his people carry the brunt of his cringefail decisions Blorbo the Shitface refused to listen to any reason and continued to be a warmongering piece of shit. Also he was ugly.”

#historians are out there beefing with ppl who died over 200 years ago. good for them #history #history memes #this isn’t really about anyone in particular #but I did read the most hilariously bitter takes on alexander I #not that it’s hard to poke fun at his vanity and indicisive nature but like. he was just a poor little meow meow #although I have some weird grudges against dead ppl as well *cough* Catherine II *cough*

[drumlincountry]

I was at a Palestinian solidarity gig last night & the one Palestinian artist who was going to perform had COVID so the organisers asked around to see if there were any Palestinians who'd like to say a few words instead.

A local guy who was born & raised in Gaza offered to speak. He started with "I'm an engineer. i'm not a poet or a politician. I don't... do public speaking… I had no idea what to say when I came up here. So i'm just going to tell you about the street I grew up on."

And then he did! He went down the street building by building. He told us about the ice cream shop on the corner, the grocery shop, the charity that supports people with intellectual disabilities. He told us about the people who he knew growing up, the families who still live in the different houses. He told us about the university buildings and about his friends who quit being accountants to start a band together. All on that street.

All of which is gone now, by the way. Bombed to dust.

#Gaza #Palestine #I talked to him a bit afterwards but god what do you say!! #he said he found the gig helpful anyway. Supportive. So that's good. #I'm gonna see if I can find his friends band and share some of their songs #Me Fein

[magical-grrrl-mavis]

People here are hating on finnster so I guess I'm gonna remind y'all that gender expression is a massive pile of horseshit and people who treat it like a game are pretty cool, regardless of how they identify

Also

#Leave the guy alone #he's one of the good ones.

[pbnmj]

THE NOIR-HOBIE INTERACTIONS THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND ARE VERY REAL TO ME. SONY PLEASE PICK UP WHAT I’M PUTTING DOWN!!!

#atsv spoilers #atsv #across the spiderverse #across the spider-verse #left the theatre knowing my gf is coming back immediately ofc had to draw this . #written hobie's dialogue here as though someone might incidentally forget he's british. LOL #sorray brits i will never be good at ur slang. i think bruv is a liiiittle old but he also said mandem so whatever #wanker/geezer is rly not used anymore but im sorry . i refuse to keep looking up british slang. its too hard #hobie brown #peter parker #spider-man noir #spider-punk #spiderman noir #spider punk #itsv #spiderman #into the spiderverse #my art