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#he's the bestie we all need in life
aquickstart · 3 months
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ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.
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another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!
farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.
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but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.
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but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.
but the important thing is this.
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farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.
farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.
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the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.
as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.
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but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.
and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.
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to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).
to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.
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and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?
but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.
the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.
so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.
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biblicalhorror · 14 days
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Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea
#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet#a core part of fabians character is that he is so deeply afraid of rejection that he is never going to pursue the people he actually wants#i do think he likes Maezy a lot but i think he only knows how to pursue hot toxic women that will discard him at a moments notice#which in a way protects him from ever actually dealing with heartbreak#is he a gay man dealing with comphet? ehh maybe#i could see that#but I think the vibe i get is more about how he has these platonic friends he completely adores and is fully devoted to#and then in another category he has the people that he does not have any actual attachment to that he will allow himself to pursue#and crossing the boundaries in between those two categories or allowing himself to pursue someone he really cares for#would require a level of vulnerability he is in no way prepared for#in his home life he has an emotionally detached mother who is well liked but kind of floats through interactions on a surface level#and a father who is extremely concerned with fame and glory and attention but doesnt seem to have ever stopped moving in his life#genuinely fabian does not know what a safe loving partnership would look like#and we see him constantly oscillating between emulating his mother and his father in relationships#but just beneath the surface is a little boy who wants so badly to cling to his loved ones so tight and be squeezed right back#with no way of knowing how to even ask for that if he wanted#and riz is his best friend in the world and he knows on some level that riz is simply not interested in having that kind of relationship#not on the level fabian needs#but that also makes riz a safe target for these feelings of devotion#theyre just friends! just besties! fabian never has to reckon with his own loneliness or harmful patterns#if he channels all of his yearning for closeness onto his best friend#anyway! this boy needs therapy#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fabriz
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melatien · 2 months
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tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike
#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found!#yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3#not because hes nervous#im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this#pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO#i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally#anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye#i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless#WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony#can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND#think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand#we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved'#ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!!#i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do#i just keep doing whatever i feel like#i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it#mha#my art#yoichi shigaraki#one for all#my hero academia#first ofa user#shigaraki yoichi#mha yoichi#tiny yoichi#tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes#ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!!#i had an art moment though#HALLEJUHAH#art gods had my back fr
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ox1-lovesick · 24 days
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hi
#life update nobody asked for lol#I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies#I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow#still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow)#is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr#I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa#downgrading to a flip phone actually#I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER)#I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most#delulu is infact not the solulu#daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey#it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me#if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit#Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand#As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you#The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends#Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that#Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again#But I just wanted to share what's been going on#And I miss you guys a lot#I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart#I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme#Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person#But I hope you all are doing GREAT#Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy#You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything#xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥
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weeping wailing sobbing <- martyn didnt have any of the coral isles stuff in his video which means he and scott probably wont be a duo this season, im fine you believe me
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scroldie · 3 months
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sorry ok i'm normal now. or maybe not. do i have to dig up my 1000 posts and rage pieces about The Economist and other things re: sayid and ben's fucked up dynamic or do you not have the next 1000 hours free
#i really need to sleep but now i'm awake lmfao. my blood pressure /JOKING#ultimately i think my attachment to sаyιd and my desire to see him happy and healthy and living a normal life where he realizes he's not th#bad monster he got used to thinking he was trumps any intrigue i have abt their dynamic and whatever affection i may have for ben#which you know. it Is there somehow. but i'm still angry at him &i'll never forgive him & i need him to be 10000 feet away from sаyιd#at all times. which drives me nuts bc hugo ends up sticking by ben for his mostly off-screen redemption arc. which i think makes sense#if ur gonna have someone redeem ur main antagonist it better be someone like hugo. but also it's just nuts bc hugo is like sаyιd's bestie#and sаyιd suffered so much bc of ben. ofc by that point in the show sаyιd has died twice and the second one is permanent...#ik he had his own agency and he was a grown man making his own decisions but it still doesn't change the fact that ben manipulated him#as he does for most other people but. idk idk i'm protective abt sаyιd ok he can go play his mind games w literally everybody else#it just sucks cz sаyιd has such a low perception of himself and everyone and his environment around him are forcing him to be the worst#version of himself and only reinforcing this false notion that he's born to kill etc#obviously that's not the case even though he's done horrible things in his life#his hands are not only meant for hurting but he's been forced to see it and himself that way ugh#his hands can protect and build just as much if not more. and we literally see him do both. yet he gets pushed to do violence#sorry lol looks like i don't need to srb everything i got a little sillay in the tags#op#💘.txt#sаyιd
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vvanessaives · 7 months
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everyone pick which romance i should do first i can't choose by myself this is too hard i need others to decide for me i swear i will follow your judgment
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and i draw parallels solely on the cinematographic basis of “when my man is no more than a millimeter away from perturbation at all times but you give the Whole Right Half Of The Screen 3/4 Closeup of Harrowing Recontextualizations” like that’s right. we’re living it up
#i mean i guess it counts lol. said generally similar cinematographic approachs for said very generally similar scenarios#(a) when a guy shows his hand (shit) & the Team Experience is in shambles & you're two sec away from shooting him for real....#nemik not even being around for said ''oh so this guy is like that then apparently'' but Insisting on giving cassian his manifesto when we#all knew like oh f you're gonna get it lol. unsurprised but not unmoved that nemik's manifesto is the source of that Quoteth....#paraphrasing closely from memory the frontier of the rebellion is everywhere even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward#the imperial need for control is so desperate b/c it is so unnatural tyranny requires constant effort it breaks it leaks....#(b) when against all odds you busted out of island forever factory labor electric containment torture execution jail and made it to a phone#make a risky call home to relay to your mom that you're alive and all only to be informed that she is not#and both still like serving as [major turning points] naturally. end of ep six; end of ep eleven of twelve....#love some drama. even on top of ''oh we knew you'd die but now we know you're dying'' and then like escalation on escalation like umm what's#our bestie here talking about. oh i see. oh he's getting quickdraw blown away right on really at this point; makes sense in this position;#still what a surprise lol truly....that we Aren't surprised maarva dies not only b/c it's heavily cued but also We find out at the ep start#like the one guy dying in prison while we Know that's coming but heaping drama on drama as the doctor tells them what happened on floor two#and we get yet more Acting Wins as andy serkis (lino?)#(nah looked it up & i spoonerized that lol. kino loy. i Only Just Now have one name per each of that heist team down i think lol) so anyways#andy kino loy serkis is getting to be the king of Harrowing Recontextualizations in that moment. ugh just great shit going on throughout#there was a Lot of great [i'm perturbed to harrowed] acting all across the board. its being by and large a cast of characters who are all#like wary and continually endangered with varying degrees of urgency. like the rec abt this series as [tfw depiction of police state life]#star wars ///#andor#truly cassian my [he has the face of a friend] cassian#he really does have this key energy of like your insta new best friend and comrade....nemik's delivery w/''i wrote abt you last night.'' Fun#again like also unsurprising he'd already land on cassian out here like ofc i'll give my crucial legacy work to that guy who just showed up.#and And I Insistingly....and he's right
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izzyaguecheek · 1 year
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i think people throw the word “toxic” around too lightly these days........... Lestat de Lioncourt isn’t “toxic”, he’s CRAZY INSANE PSYCHO EVIL DISTURBED AN ABSOLUTE MADMAN
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pepprs · 1 year
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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running#away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made#basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not#doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs#i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any#sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY#part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move#out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older#but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only#made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to#move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use#my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a#atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i#did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging#fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy#home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️
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francisforever2014 · 1 year
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i hate the term “female friendship” like it annoys me
#listening to the binchtopia podcast episode on comp het.. v interesting#but that kinda stuff just reminds me that i am not a ‘female’ 😭#i’m like why can’t i relate to all these stories about female friendships and female comradarie… and i’m like right bc u aren’t one bestie#sigh i hate how cis centered gender studies and feminism can be even though it’s very important#idk how to fix it or if it even needs to be fixed but yeah . it’s both annoying and freeing to not be able to relate to a lot of these#discussions#anyways . who up and wanna have a ‘female friendship’ w me (sex)#also i wonder how many of my ‘female friendships’ weren't fulfilling because of my lack of cisgenderness. like i was always the other#and these cis women were looking for comradarie in another woman and i just wasn’t that. and they could tell#i always used to wonder why i wasn’t getting the same thing out of female friendships as everybody else was or how liberal women make it#sound. and this is definitely a factor . which idk how i didn’t realize it sooner#also ofc being gay and having straight friends when i was younger#but even in my ‘female friendships’ with other lgbt women something is missing#like the most fulfilling relationship i’ve ever had is in fact with a man .#and idk how much of that is just chance like we just happen to click . and how much of it is bc i feel like i can relate to him more than#i ever could my ‘female friends’#also we have other things in common like he’s an lgbt person of color i’m an lgbt person of color etc .#but idk . i wonder how much gender factors into this#like i’ve had that in common with women and STILL something is missing#sorry for centering men in my life hashtag problematic hashtag internalized misogyny#also not to say that my current friendships with women aren’t fulfilling i love them . and it does help that they’re all lgbt poc#but there’s always this border i feel. like when they’ll be talking about hashtag womanhood and i just . don’t get it#SORRY for the long ass tags omg
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wolfsplosion · 11 months
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remember when in s1 they said Mike and Lucas were best friends and then never brought it up again
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#why did they do that.#I mean I fucking know why they did that. they sideline Lucas hardcore all the time . it's racism#I just think we deserved seeing them be best friends..#and also I know the point of that s1 scene is Mike being a sweetie and saying Dustin is also his best friend and that he can have multiple#and I KNOW we don't get to see much like. slice of life. in the show itself because well. there's shit going on#but I just want them to be actual besties..#in s2 they're separated most of the time#s3 they're in the same group but like. Mike is extra stupid that season (<- I am a Mike apologist don't come for me for this I'm right)#and s4 is a greatest hits of prev like they're arguing and then Mike is stupid and then they're separated again#I just want them to be actual besties in s5. please#if the ST writers won't provide it for me I'll have to do it myself (opens google docs fanfic folder)#also Mike needs to fucking apologize to Lucas for the Hellfire nonsense. I know Lucas was also a little in the wrong but like.#Lucas experiences racism of course he'd want to blend in better at school..#I have so many opinions about this btw. Mike wouldn't understand what Lucas goes through at school#nor would he understand Dustin experiencing ableism nor Will experiencing homophobia#I mean I have my thoughts about Mike's sexuality but no matter what they may be; Will is the one we see getting called a fag and fairy#and Mike wouldn't understand the classism Max experiences! Mike is a little privilege boy. sorry I don't know why I said that#what was I talking about. oh yeah Mike and Lucas bestieism in s5 or we riot#stranger things#mike wheeler#lucas sinclair
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rat-nest · 1 year
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Finally we have arrived at the shedding stage where I can just pull the coat out with my hands instead of excruciating trails of loose hair no matter how many times I brush him
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arklay · 1 year
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found the connections note mentioning hcf. skin cleared crops watered etc etc
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inutaffy · 2 years
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thinking the real reason we start seeing less of mike in s3 and then less in s4 is because it's trying to show how he's slowly drawing into himself and that he's closed off/emotionally repressed, we as an audience quite literally have no clue as to what he's thinking
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landofgay · 26 days
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me: hey dad I know u wanted me to come over and stand around while u clean ur room cause u have executive dysfunction, but I have 0 energy to get out of bed and also my stomach hurts
my dad: that's ok my stomach hurts too and I also have 0 energy to do any of this shit. wanna plan to come over tomorrow just for us to reschedule again?
me: yeah sure
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