#he's worth ALL the damage

[wormboyfriendcentralstation]

heathcliff: i killed cathy...... im a horrible person in every timeline. my revenge killed her. my remorse literally broke through timelines.

catherine who got back at heathcliff by stealing a house to remodel into the Magic Cocaine Labyrinth after draining the financial assets of england's least tragically ill victorian man, making carmen contact her copyright lawyers by sealing her ambiguously dead body into a glass tank while her brain powers a building, and potentially hiring the Mueseumafia of Modern Art because if she pays them with cash she doesnt have to report her Green-Energy-Human-Tank Powered Hydrogen Bomb Basement Factory's earnings to the IRS or whatever the city uses: 'tis what you get for trying to boyfail without your girlboss, methinks 😇😇😇😇😇

#limbus company #limbus company spoilers #posted to the wrong blog lololol #anyways she's a science fiction villain who everyone treats like jesus. #''catherine is MISERABLE ALWAYS'' she was certainly going through it! #she was also literally coping through making terrors and horrors in her basement lab like dexter #and is this a result of heathcliff's self worth being like. bulldozed from every direction as he grew up? #yes. #they're both very fascinating characters but someone get that man away from that woman's blast radius #him: i'll get a good job. i'll internalize all of my abuse. i'll be Good Enough For Her #her: gonna grow some psychic damage nukes in my lab like rutabagas to harvest for the growing season. then i'll turn into a house!

[denkies]

Bungou Stray Dogs fans watching s5 ep 11:

#though i IMPLORE anime onlys to read the manga bc the anime did change a lot (read: every scene where atsushi and akutagawa interact) #and dazai getting shot scene is quite changed as well #it might seem like a lot to read but it's really easy to binge imo. and 1000% worth it #and they FUNDAMENTALLY changed Akutagawa's death btw #they completely and horrifically changed the entire sskk vs fukuchi fight. the fight is a lot less action focused in the manga #and is more inclined towards emotionally and psychologically damaging the reader #akutagawa's death is incredibly important in the manga. and if he's not your favorite‚ the manga is STILL better with every other character #anyway. ep 11 will bring us all together as anime onlys. #bsd #bungou stray dogs #sskk #skk #shin soukoku #soukoku #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #chuuya nakahara #atsushi nakajima #ranpoe #bsd fyodor #fyolai #sigma bungou stray dogs #bsd sigma #I'm in the trenches with these tags #akuatsu #atsuaku #a.txt

[throttlegainwell]

Thinking about that fine line Jonathan walks re: Lonnie's impact on Will. Wanting to insulate Will from Lonnie's rejection and soften that blow as much as he's able, but not wanting to give him false hope and feed a dangerous fantasy where Lonnie has a place in his life.

Because who wants to look into those big, sad eyes and tell their little brother that Dad doesn't love him? That he will never care, and that Will is nothing to him. But he also wants Will to be prepared, and he doesn't want to lie to him. He respects this kid and he wants to impress that upon him--the world may not, but Jonathan will always respect his intelligence and ability to think for himself, and he will nurture that, would never hamper it even supposedly for Will's own good.

So he makes it about conformity. There's a life lesson in that. It's not just that Dad doesn't give a shit--it's that Will should be true to himself because fuck everyone who doesn't see it that way.

#jonathan byers #will byers #stranger things #i dunno jonathan knows that lonnie sucks and i think it's hard for him to see will pining for this horrible person #(or more like the idea of him maybe--the chalk outline of fatherhood that he represents) #who's damaged jonathan so deeply but more importantly (to him) hurt everyone he cares about and left so much wreckage in his wake #so there's a part of him that wants to prepare will & build up that armor the way that jonathan has for himself #and that's gotta be a tough instinct to supress (because lonnie has instilled so deeply in jonathan that the world is a dangerous place) #but he never ever *ever* wants to strip will of his innocence and hope so he knows he can't #and that's the narrow set of parameters he's working with #don't tell will that dad doesn't give a shit about him (but if he figures it out on his own then be there for him and don't deny it) #don't tell him dad's a piece of shit & not worth it--just redirect until will realizes that he doesn't have to care #all the while he's thinking #'no he doesn't love you but so many people do and so many will' #wishing with all his heart that that would be enough #he's so careful how he talks to him--because the truth isn't kind but jonathan can be #child abandonment tw

[andoutofharm]

come back to me

They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us - Hanif Abdurraqib // Our Flag Means Death (Season 2)

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #reading all the commentary about survival and wanting to live and how stede sees how broken ed is #and everyone keeps telling him he isnt worth saving because of how damaged he is #and time and time again stede says i want you anyway #ed says he is unloveable #stede says WATCH ME. #webweaving.txt

[meyerlansky]

did they KNOW they were making an entire game about bodily autonomy and the trauma that comes from being denied it

or did that just happen to come out as a theme in the wash

#baldur's gate 3 #kara plays baldur's gate 3 #astarion and karlach are obvious but wyll being physically transformed #aylin being caged and killed over and over #gale being reduced to the damage he can do by killing himself #the looming threat of ceremorphosis on all the characters #halsin's backstory #and my player character just got told 'you are a puppet and have NO WORTH without me' by the prism's resident #like. goddamn.

[vigilskeep]

Whenever I think about your Keir I think about Bethany telling Anders he reminds her of Malcom. I’m sure that won’t ever affect Keir ever.

bethany is my favourite mage bc she never misses with that psychic damage

but really he and anders aren’t even a thing in act 1 so it’s less like “PLEASE stop comparing my crush to our father” and more like “oh fuck off i spend my entire life trying to act like our dad and one (1) mage rolls up and suddenly he’s dad??”

#the bethany anders keir weirdness about malcolm is so real #because bethany says ‘you remind me of him (generally positive)’ in act 1 #but in later acts i think she’s still seeing the same thing just with a different uhhh mindset #seeing the way her dad wanted her to be something she wasnt and strive for something she was never sure was worth the sacrifice #how he tried to make decisions about what was best for other people. how he risked lives etc #whereas anders also has his own perception of malcolm which i think is quite... idealised #it means a lot to him that a mage raised a family that loved him. and hes envious of it #but thats definitely a standard anders is making up. if anders and malcolm really met we’d have to cast a barrier between them within five #minutes. for their own safety. #whereas keir in some ways saw a more complete version of his father from the beginning #but he also believes those more uhh flawed abrasive damaging sides are necessary. of course he does he repeats them #his father may not have been the easiest man in the world to live with but he always did what he had to #and kept his word and held himself to the same standards as others #but oh wait here’s the legacy dlc with the steel chair— #anyway my point being that u get these 3 in a room and theyre talking abt 3 entirely different malcolms. carnage #i dont think it would naturally occur to keir to compare anders to malcolm #but hed be like. ‘i GUESS?’ when bethany said it #honestly anders one of the things that’s kind of disillusioning abt malcolm bc like #i mean say what you like about my man anders but he was never all talk #not to dismiss the courage it took for malcolm to escape & raise a family #but thats one thing. insisting on using your abilities to help people & to go BACK for those still in the circle is kind of another #a lot of dialogue implying malcolm talked a big game about mage rights #but apart from raising a daughter who hates herself what did he actually do. #sorry thats mean but you see my point #and its not just justice that makes anders like that. sure he was more scared and hopeless about the circle #but his instincts are to help. you wouldnt catch malcolm going back to help against darkspawn even when told to run #and my malcolms also. gruff. stoic. serious. a man of few words. he does not do bits or tell you about his cat #if keir hears bethany compare anders to malcolm and at all agrees it’s not really anything about personality #he’s saying yeah i guess anders does seem like a good mage and a good man. thats the only commonality he would jump to #these tags got incredibly away from me

[tsuchinokoroyale]

More like rad-b-gone lol

#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol #thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless #except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5% #so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move… #oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it #him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮‍💨 #I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴 #radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one #which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴 #I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes #and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once #like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where #(( outside of gank fights )) #the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death #had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build #and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably #can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears #I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it #Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳 #excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss #I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8 #so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳 #tsuchi plays games

[spock-smokes-weed]

Sometimes I so badly want Jango to have lived so after the fall of the republic, Rex can hunt him down and have an emotional breakdown at the man that sold out him and the rest of his brothers.

I want Rex to wail and punch him the in the face and just ask why

#star wars the clone wars #star wars #captain rex #jango fett #after the order rex becomes obsessive with finding jango and the brothers that survived are like ‘rex it’s not worth it’ #but he channels all his anger at jango and thinks finding him again will give him any kind of closure after what happened #and when he finally finds him rex just breaks and jango is like ‘kid what is your damage’

[hella1975]

are you guys thinking about touya todoroki today because i am

#what if he just wanted to be good what if he burned up and out waiting for his parent to look at him and just LOVE HIM #what if all he ever wanted was that positive affirmation what if he just needed to be treated kindly and was instead #offered only cruelty what if he was a child who didn't need to be strong he just needed to be held #what if raising children to be soldiers regardless of good intention is still a fucked up thing to do #because they're CHILDREN they just want you to be nice to them they don't care about being the strongest #and why does being the strongest matter more than anything else? is that really worth doing all this damage? #is it really worth being so mean? you're supposed to love them why won't you show it #and it haunts him so much he literally BURNS HIMSELF ALIVE OVER IT and no one even comes to watch #and when the rejection finally FINALLY gets through his head and he's forced to accept that he's never gonna get that love #and acknowledgement that he needs so much he doesnt heal from it and choose to be the bigger person #he instead becomes something ugly and mean and messy and awful and he's a sum of all the acts made against him #because he's ANGRY and he doesn't care that he's angry he's shameless and embracing of that rage #because it covers up the hurt and if he has to hurt people in order to avoid his own pain then that's what he'll do #and to the very end he's shouting every bad thing that happened to him refusing to go down quietly about it #refusing to be a good little victim that shakes and cries in a corner and lets things sort themselves out because it NEVER DOES #NO ONE EVER SAVES HIM. NO ONE EVER PROTECTS HIM. WHY WON'T THEY PROTECT HIM #and not a single person acknowledges him. not a single person looks on him with pity #there's no one there to say 'that was shit and you deserved better'. no one. and what did he honestly do that was so bad as to deserve this #he was a child who wanted to be loved. to be good. that's all #touya todoroki #literally feels like his character was created to make me specifically want to blow my brains out el oh el <3

[antianakin]

So I've been thinking about those posts that have gone around protesting the fandom inclination to not like villain redemption arcs because of the puritanical values that go along with believing people don't deserve the "rewards" that come with redemption arcs, usually: love, acceptance, understanding, etc. and the idea that no person deserves to be denied the basic things every human being should be granted.

And, of course, applying that to Anakin.

Because as someone who does not truly LIKE Anakin, I'm usually the first person to not be inclined to forgive Anakin post-child murder, post-genocide, post-betrayal. I'm generally the first one to believe Anakin can't get better once he's chosen to do his worst. I've called him a rabid bear that just needs to be put down for his own sake and everyone else's. There isn't a cure at this point, he can't be saved or redeemed.

Even Luke doesn't really REDEEM Anakin, Anakin's still only doing what he does to save someone he likes. Great, he throws down a regime to save a family member, where have we seen him do that before? Oh right, when he threw down democracy to save his wife and instigated the beginning of the Empire. He didn't destroy the Empire because he wanted to make amends. He didn't kill Palpatine to save the galaxy he'd helped destroy. He didn't do any of it because it was just generally the right thing to do or because he recognized just how much pain he'd caused and was seeking to do better as a person overall. He does it to save ONE PERSON, and we can pretty solidly say, he wouldn't have done it for ANYONE ELSE, probably up to and including Leia.

Which makes me believe that had Anakin miraculously survived killing Palpatine, he wouldn't necessarily be a better person. He wouldn't truly work to make any kind of amends to the galaxy he'd brought so much pain to.

And what kind of amends could he even DO at this point that would make any kind of difference? He's committed like 167 genocides at this point, oppressed an entire galaxy, killed billions of children on a whim, destroyed whole planets. What can he POSSIBLY do to make any real amends for that? What could possibly make up for that in any meaningful way? He can't undo the Jedi genocide and quite honestly no one should ever let him near a Force sensitive person, especially a child, again. He can't undo the three decades of oppression, he can't undo the fact that the Republic that existed has been basically burnt to ash and needs to be rebuilt from scratch and, again, quite honestly, no one should ever let him near politics ever again.

The best thing Anakin Skywalker can do for the galaxy at this point if he manages to survive is just disappear from it. Whether he dies or just walks away and spends the rest of his life meditating on everything he's done wrong and leaving the galaxy he's brought so much pain to well enough alone, I don't care. Luke can go visit him if he wants to, I guess, but no one else should have to deal with him.

I think that's where my biggest grievance lies in any kind of "Vader Lives" AUs, or "Vader changes sides inexplicably post-genocide" AUs. Because generally, now EVERYONE ELSE IN THE GALAXY has to deal with him like he HASN'T committed genocide. Like he HASN'T murdered mountains of children for the sake of selfishness. As if he isn't someone who would happily do so again if it came down to it as we see in ROTJ when he happily brings down another government to save one person. If saving Luke in that moment had required another genocide instead of just killing Palpatine, we all know he'd have done it. He absolutely would've murdered any number of children to save HIS child. Because he hasn't truly changed and his motivations for saving Luke are almost exactly the same as the motivations he had for saving Padme, it's just that the requirements shifted and the galaxy got very lucky that saving Luke ALSO meant taking out the Emperor and Anakin himself.

Why should the galaxy at large be obligated to share it with someone who would have happily killed them all not so long ago, just because Anakin MIGHT one day learn to be a better person? Why are they obligated to just live the rest of their lives hoping he doesn't decide to go ahead and commit his 168th genocide if Luke stubs his toe on the wrong planet? Why is their fear acceptable in favor of Anakin getting a chance to be good?

Once he's decided double genocide is acceptable? Once he spends DECADES oppressing everyone he can find because misery loves company? I don't really see a way out for him that isn't vastly unfair for everyone else.

#anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #this is probably a wildly controversial opinion #i understand that it's definitely not the jedi philosophy #that they all believed even the worst people COULD choose to be better #however mace windu who is the ultimate jedi also comes to the conclusion that palpatine cannot be left alive #because he was too dangerous to the galaxy at large to do so #obi-wan kills maul because he is too dangerous to the galaxy at large to be left alive #could palpatine and maul have chosen to be better? sure. but they don't. #and it's not worth the damage they'll cause to wait for them to maybe do so #the galaxy does not deserve to have to keep suffering just to spare one person #why would anakin be any different? #why would anyone trust he's actually not going to snap and cause a genocide at the slightest inconvenience ever again? #he was good once and fought for the republic once and still committed multiple genocides #why would ANYONE trust him again? #and would it be the SMART thing to do to trust him to do better than last time? #or is it just naivete #anakin deserved to die because all he did was bring the galaxy pain and suffering #his redemption was not worth the galaxy having to suffer more #needs of the many #are greater than the needs of the anakin #kill him to spare everyone else his presence

[deathtodickens]

Helena: (whispering in myka's ear) You just say the word, my love.

Myka: (whispering back) Is this your idea of sweet talk?

Helena: (still whispering) I'm certainly excited about the prospect of avenging Leena's unjust murder.

Myka: (sighing) Just... play nice.

Helena: Nice was Leena's job. Abigail's taken it on just fine. Let's hope Artie doesn't murder her, too.

Myka: The Regents agreed, it wasn't him. They agreed that he wasn't himself. They've accepted that.

Helena: And I'm not a Regent. Nor are you. He wasn't himself? He wasn't anybody else either. Leena died by his hand for whatever decisions he made leading to the moment he... did what he did. How can you just..

Myka: (glaring)

Helena: (takes in a deep breath)

Myka: This is the warehouse, Helena. Artifacts do things to people. They play with your mind. We all know that risk. We all take it, every single day. It could have been any one of us. It could be. It has been.

Helena: If he had hurt you...

Myka: I know.

Helena: If he ever does.

Myka: I know.

Silence.

Myka: But I think, for now, we have reached our warehouse homicides quota. Right?

Helena: It doesn't have to be in the warehouse.

Myka: Helena.

Helena: Fine. I won't murder him.

Myka: That's all I'm asking.

Helena: For now.

Myka: I... okay, sure. I'll accept that.

#bering and wells #dickens draws #endless wonder wives #everyday i'm bwodlin' #i was spilling over my stress limit yesterday with back and forths about my car #the collision place quoted sixty seven thousand dollars for a battery replacement but when i talked to the mechanic guy he said #that is just the cost of the work - he doesn't even think it needs to be done #when i talked to the dealership the service manager claims they cannot assess the risk of damage inside of the battery #when i talk to the insurance adjuster he says the collision place said the dealership said there is no battery damage but could maybe be #if there's another big hit to the undercarriage #lolll losing my mind #anyway insurance says if i want they will just pay me for whatever i think the damage is worth he literally said give me a number #and i was like my warranty my gas it's a minimum of 5K bro #he said let me talk to my manager #giiiiiirl #talk faster because i want my car back #all that to say i gave all of my stress and anxiety to myka because i know she can handle it #and even if she can't she has helena there to kiss her mental booboos away #AND EXACT REVENGE ON ARTIE FOR KILLING LEENA #the end #after i posted this i went into photoshop and learned how to do a four image split from a singular image so basically i leveled up #woo

[bhaalsdeepbat]

i think astarion is going to always have a natural lust for power. like i think his vampiric nature will just forever cause certain desires, but spawn ending kinda reasserts that he has the power to resist AND shows he has people he can rely on to talk him down if he needs it.

#bat plays bg3 #i'm typing up a post about spawnstarion vs ascended astarion #and his ability to empathize with the victims and open up the #“what cazador did is wrong bc he did it to me” from that to #what cazador did is wrong bc he did it to ALL of us #whereas ascended astarion just confirms that all that matters is power and looking out for the needs of #the important person in the room ((him)) but also #when he has the convo where “no one else is like you” #and the fact that he can make normal vamp spawn but it seems like tav/durge is actually like a spawn of the ascendant nature #i think he really did want to make them special bc they are his favorite toy #but he does NOT want an equal and he wants them to feel as helpless / powerless to their love as he felt #when he thought that tav/durge was just protecting him and he was worthless as he is #but spawn ending shows him that he's worth everything as is ((which he is that man is so fucking strong without the extra necrotic damage)) #THO THAT NECROTIC DAMAGE DO BE NICE i do like my evil playthroughs when we are powerhouses don't get me wrong #i'm just looking @ story stuff bahaha

[grandpashagger69]

How can people actually hate Usopp like genuinely how can you hate him

#Like his entire deal is that he's internalizing all his anxieties of being disposable to the strawhats!!! #because he doesn't think of himself as strong because he's surrounded by people who are stronger than him!!! #he always internally belittles himself!!! he is strong and confident!!! but he doesn't see it!!!!! #He wants to be useful to the crew because he thinks of himself as the weakest and most useless of the group!!!! #HIM CONSTANTLY FREAKING OUT OF THE MERRY BEING DAMAGED AND FIXING IT IS BECAUSE HE FELLS HIS WORTH AS A CREW MEMBER IS TIED TO THE SHIP!!!! #HE IS JUST INCREDIBLY ANXIOUS BECAUSE HE CONSTANTLY FEELS LIKE THE STRAWHATS WILL DISPOSE OF HIM!!!!! #One Piece #Usopp

[bugdogg]

he would not say that

#vent #doodles #this is a very unserious vent but i gotta tag it anywayyy #sometimes things set me off and i remember im actually damaged #i got things that arent fully healed and i cant make it happen faster #its scary when i remember and feels embarrassing as i react in such a weird way all i can do is watch as my brain spits out pure anxiety #i think i have speech therapy in an hour so i cant sleep it wouldnt be worth it #so heres a silly comic about my weird coping mechanisms #he would not fucking say that lol

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

lies on the floor and has just So Many Feelings about all the ways in which pericles and cassidy are foils, one of them being the comparison between how they use constant, vocal, unabashed affirmation of the qualities they value about themselves to cope with rock bottom self-esteem.

there's so much to be said here about how pericles' 'positive' self-talk is ultimately destructive to himself and everyone around him, whereas cassidy's has both been healing for her and held her back from processing her self-loathing in other ways, and so much of that has to do with her experiencing firsthand the results of pericles' shit handling of his poor self-esteem and desperately not wanting to be anything like him. fuck me up man

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #cassidy williams #professor pericles #SDMItag #there's SO much here god #the older i get the more i understand cassidy and *ow* #which like god the 'desperately does not want to be another pericles' is a whole can of worms of its own #cassidy: it's important to internalize that you're allowed to like and be proud of things about yourself without having to Pass Peer Review #not just as a matter of principle but because your brain needs to hear it reinforced to do so; especially when there's already damage #in the same way that someone tearing you down over and over and over will beat the idea into your head over time #no matter how Flat Out Wrong you believe they are on a logical level; and no matter how viscerally you believed that at the start #be the opposite of that for yourself #pericles: my entire personhood hinges on one (1) Good Quality(tm) #without it i am utterly worthless and deserve everything that has ever happened to me. everyone i refused to believe about myself was right #the only valid measure of whether i am a person and have worth is whether the One Good Quality demonstrably *works* in practice #and other people are forced to believe it is real and matters because it directly affects them; usually to their detriment #and the only reason people try to stop me from succeeding or give me consequences for my actions is because they don't see me as a person #'locking me up like a common beast' isn't wrong because he's inherently a person; it's wrong because *he's Smart and that makes him one* #and it does not cross his mind at all that 'seems to have murdered a bunch of children' *might in fact be a reason they'd lock up a person* #so fuck em he'll hurt anyone and everyone in order to prove his One Good Quality; and make *absolutely sure* they know it's being proved #there has to be someone else to witness and validate that proof; because to him his own judgment does not count #cassidy after having her life destroyed by the results: Hm! no thanks #dyn: so nice to meet you; angel

[dennisboobs]

we do a little ranting in the tags, as a treat.

#i think a good portion of the fanbase would benefit from never using the word 'narcissist' again #every time i see people claiming with complete sincerity that dennis is a narcissist i go monke mode #the word youre looking for is VAIN. vanity to cover a deep insecurity and mask his actual feelings #any narcissistic traits he possesses are learned from his mother and not inherent. #that's why dee shares them and why he 'confusingly' doesn't fit the mould for a cut and dry NPD diagnosis #begging y'all to look up what happens when narcissist mothers raise golden child sons specifically #den's approval-seeking behaviour is masked by his vanity. he needs others to see him as desirable or he loses his worth #reddit bros and armchair psychologists on the wiki trying to fucking dx him with all kinds of personality disorders i hate to tell you this #but trauma is a hell of a thing. and dennis is not a cartoonishly evil caricature of a narcissist. he's a deeply fucking damaged guy. #not that the two are mutually exclusive. but.