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#headcannons
sekceesimps · 5 months ago
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Genshin Impact Men Jealousy HCs
head cannons for when someone flirts with their darling. very slight nsfw and umm spoilers about Zhongli’s identity?
Characters:  Kaeya, Zhongli, Xiao, Childe, and Scaramouche  
a/n    Hey everyone, thank you so much for all the support you have shown towards our blog! We were planning to publish A Rose Made of Chains Ch 6, but I have really been struggling with stress and depression recently. To make up for that, I have written some Genshin Impact HCs and want to share (I’ve never written for Genshin before so don’t bully me lmao). Let us know if you enjoy and would like a part 2 for the women (tell us if I forgot any characters, I just wrote who I simp for the most), anyways send in requests please (it’s taking some time for me to do them, but I promise I started quite a few)!  Again, I’m really sorry for the inconsistent upload schedule. I’ll try not to let it happen again, I’ve just been having a really bad two weeks and Valentine’s day did not help LMAO. 
Sincerely Coffee  
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Kaeya 🧎‍♀️        
- No one flirts with you as much as Kaeya does. Seriously, this man does not even try to hide how attracted he is to you. Which is why you don’t think he likes you in that way. 
- He’s a flirty guy so you just brush it off, even though everyone tells you how in love he is with you. This man doesn’t flirt with anyone as much as he flirts with you, but you hardly notice.  
- All of his buttered words and light touches work to his favor though because people seldom flirt with you, just assuming that you’re already taken. 
- You guys aren’t even dating, but everyone assumes as much. It doesn’t help when he tells practically everyone that you’re his darling. Plus you two spend almost every moment together due to work and how close you are.  
- Makes a big show of his affection. You two could just be walking around on a patrol or something and he’ll sling his arm around your shoulder or wrap a hand around your waist and pull you close to his side.        
- Eye fucks you all the time. How do you not notice?? He’s always looking at you and taking in your appearance. He finds you very attractive, ok.    
- Calls you a lot of pet names. Some to make you laugh, some to make you blush, and some that he genuinely really likes (darling and love are his favorites and he casually calls you that in front of the knights which makes your heart just spasm)
- He really likes taking you out to drink wine (or something non-alcoholic if you’re not into that). Especially if it’s just you two having a nice private dinner under the stars. Genuinely, he views these as dates, but your dense ass thinks he’s just being nice.  
- Has definitely jokingly asked if you wanted to kiss him during these dates. You don’t really understand what he’s trying to do so you always politely decline. Makes him a little upset, but he’ll disguise it with a laugh and continue to enjoy his night with you. 
- Sometimes he gets you cute gifts such as sweets or roses (unless you don’t like flowers like my co-author Tea ~smh she’s so picky~) which starts to clue you in a little on his seriousness about dating you. This man melts if you gift him a fine bottle of wine or a set of artifacts. 
- He’s fallen in love so hard with you and is not really sure how to process it. Just pushes through with the only way he knows how, being playful and highlighting his commitment issues (which he is trying to fix as he realizes this might be something you’re not into) 
- You work together (whether that be as an adventurer or fellow knight) which makes the cavalry captain really happy. He enjoys spending a lot of time with you. He also insists on going with you for any solo missions. Also takes you with him for basically any quest.   
- He’s so clingy and wants you to spend as much time as possible with him. Kind of annoys you when he follows you around like a puppy, but he’s really cute so you just suck it up. Also, he absolutely loves training with you, it’s never serious but sometimes he gets the chance to shoot off some more witty one liners at you (~cOoL iT~)          
- If he notices that you’re not too receptive to his advances, then he withdraws for a bit. That is until he starts anew with a fresh wave of flirtatious greetings and new date ideas. Doesn’t really want to overwhelm you and is fairly respectful with his advances after more and more failed attempts of asking you to be his S/O. 
- While most people get the message that you’re taken, although not yet officially, and really like the two of you together, there are still others who don’t see the appeal of you and Kaeya
- *cough* Diluc *cough* 
- Now Diluc still cares a lot about Kaeya, despite the tension, but he just doesn’t think you two are a good match. He’s aware of Kaeya’s commitment issues and doesn’t want that to hurt you. 
- He also likes you, so if you’re into him then might as well shoot his shot, right. 
- Now Kaeya is usually a pretty laid back and cool guy. That is until it comes to Diluc, especially if he’s getting too close to someone who he’s been putting a lot of effort and time into courting. 
- He does not react well to his adoptive brother flirting with you. You would expect someone as level headed as him to keep that jealousy in right? Well, Kaeya does little to curb or hide it. 
- When he sees the fiery haired man by your side, Kaeya is quick to break it up. Comes to your side to drag you with him or has someone pull Diluc away for “business”
- If yours and Diluc’s interactions continue then Kaeya will continue to get more and more annoyed. If he sees Diluc actively trying to flirt with you then that’s going to be the last straw for him. 
- Watching your eyes twinkle up at his brother and not at him, as Diluc asks if you’d like to talk more over dinner at his tavern, fuels Kaeya on. He quickly approaches the two of you and pulls you into him as he grips your face and locks his lips with yours. You’ll be pretty shocked and won’t really kiss back at first but you’ll eventually return the gesture and make an uncomfortable scene in the middle of Mondstadt. He hopes that this has shown you how seriously he’s into you, because Kaeya does not get jealous over anyone. 
- This experience has honestly been a good push for him to prove how much he loves you. At this point, Diluc has left (he was sort of planning on this to happen?) and Kaeya feels comfortable enough to tell you how he feels about you. Decides that he really likes the way your lips feel and makes a mental note to assault you with kisses more often. 
- Jealous Kaeya is uncommon, but he doesn’t try to hide it if he is seriously jealous. While he’s working to make that more healthy by telling you, it usually just manifests itself in him acting more inappropriate with you around the person. Not that you’re really complaining, his more possessive actions where he is showing you off in front of others asserts the fact that you are together even more. 
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Zhongli (with a Harbinger reader cause I’m trash for those fics) 
-  So you and Zhongli have an interesting dynamic. You’re probably going to be a harbinger and that’s mostly why you’re not too shocked when he tells you later on in your relationship that he’s Rex Lapis. Like, he’s just too sexy to not be a God. Also, he is not as slick as he thinks he is. I’m sorry babe, no one else is that obsessed with ancient Liyue culture. 
- No one really gets your relationship. People think you’re trying to exploit him and others think he’s playing you. They’re all wrong though. The two of you love and care for the other deeply. 
- You’re also the only one genuinely interested in how much he talks about Liyue and the past. Let him dork out, please, it's so cute. 
- He’s a fairly serious person and very proper around you in public. That being said, he really loves interlocking his fingers with yours and holding your hand at work or on dates outside. 
- When you’re behind closed doors he’s much more affectionate. Really likes holding you or leaving kisses across your face and neck. Also loosens up quite a bit with you, he’s much more relaxed and cracks a few jokes with you.
- Also you have so much mora. That’s what happens when you’re one of the most terrifying leaders of the Fatui I guess. He never has to worry about forgetting the currency with you around. Still spoils you though as he’s quite the gentleman (he really likes seeing you beam at him when he gives you gifts)  
- Doesn’t mind your job. He encourages how independent you are and how passionate you are about your work. He’s willing to overlook the things you do, due to how much love he holds for you.  
- Seriously, Zhongli has never felt this way for anyone, at least not for a long long time. Which is why he strongly dislikes it when others think that they can get between you two. 
- He knows he’s an attractive person (come on he’s literally a God) and he’s very secure about the strength of your relationship. Although sometimes he gets a little worried you’ll leave him if you reflect on your mortality. Manz is terrified you’ll want someone who won’t outlive you. You’re always reassuring him that this isn’t going to happen. I swear you’re so amazing to him, he SWOONS when you’re being comforting.
- Of course there are always idiots thinking that they have a chance with you. He doesn’t get jealous, but he gets incredibly annoyed. Also more of his dragon like traits will show up if he decides to confront the mortal. He usually doesn’t get that upset though. USUALLY.
- One of the best scenarios of a more aggressive Zhongli is when he sees you and your colleagues together. He knows that you would never want to pursue a romantic relationship with any of your fellow harbingers. He doesn’t mind the presence of some of the more quiet harbingers like Scaramouche. 
- He really dislikes when you gush over your days working with Tartaglia though. He wouldn’t mind if it was just you talking about your work, but when he has to see the two of you, just pure annoyance and this gross nagging feeling in his head. 
- Low key will diss Childe to you and tell you about his more embarrassing moments.  
- This annoyance will be more obvious when you take him out to work with you. Whenever you bring him to work lunches or dinners with your friend, it always seems like your man is on guard. To be fair, he really is and is incredibly annoyed with the way Childe acts around you. 
- Tries sending the message to Childe that you’re already taken (literally everyone knows you’re together, but Childe wants to see how much he can push the archon, also he finds you really attractive and wants to see if you’d go for him). This might start with some more touching and clinginess, but he’s relatively passive about showing his dominance at first. 
- If Childe is still stuck to your side, then Zhongli will start being more possessive and rude to the auburn haired man. Definitely does not make it obvious to you though. 
- “Say, sweetheart, you look absolutely stunning today,” Childe remarks as he brings your hand to his lips with his shit eating grin pointed towards your boyfriend. Little comments about how amazing you are start to add up throughout the dinner and Zhongli can’t help but notice the way Childe eyes you up all night. He’ll put his arm around your shoulders protectively as a response. 
- “If you don’t mind, Zhongli, could you step out for a bit. I have some business I’d like to discuss with Y/N” he continues and revels in the way Zhongli’s cool composure slowly breaks apart. 
- Of course he has to comply, he doesn’t want to notify you that something is off. When he comes back and you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom is when Zhongli can finally address it head on. 
- Doesn’t even take that much effort if he’s being honest. Your boyfriend just leans towards Childe and whispers a few select threats to the harbinger. He has this dark look in his amber eyes all the while. Childe definitely gets the message after that. 
- When you come back from the bathroom you’ll notice the more sinister atmosphere and try to lighten it up. Your boyfriend has a much more calm aura now though. 
- Jealous Zhongli is so rare, but when it does happen, he will be too embarrassed to notify you of it. The person who was flirting with you though? Oh they’re going to be pissing themselves after incurring the wrath of the geo archon. While he doesn’t physically harm them, the threats are more than enough to keep them from flirting with you again. 
- He also thinks he’s being sly about hiding his jealousy when in all honestly the truth comes out with his more possessive and domineering attitude that seeps into your sex life. You aren’t complaining though, clingy rock man sexy.    
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Xiao (please come home  👁👄👁) 
- Listen, Xiao has been alive for a really long time. Time is honestly irrelevant to him at this point. Then you come along and change all of that. 
- If you’re nice to him in a way in which you don’t smother him then he will appreciate that so much. Manz won’t say anything though because he needs to pretend to hate everyone. 
- That being said, He will be absolutely head over heels in love with you and far too anxious to ever say something about it. You’re finally a reason for him to enjoy the moment and he doesn’t want to ruin that if you don’t reciprocate his feelings. Always punches himself for being cold to you when he really just wants the two of you to talk longer. 
- Low key follows you around Liyue. You’re going to the harbor to talk to some friends? Well he has business there anyways. He just really likes being around you ok. His excuses are kinda weak though. 
- Fawns over everything you do. Seriously, you can just breathe in his direction and he would be smitten. Would NEVER show it though. 
- If you make him some almond tofu, he is so beyond thankful. He tries to make it, but in his eyes, your cooking is even better than that of master chefs in Liyue. 
-Taking the time out of your day to talk to him is something this adeptus swoons over. If you innocently brush your hands over his when you two are talking on the balcony at the inn, oh boy, he gets so flustered. He is touch starved and that little affection you give genuinely makes his entire day. 
- He gets really upset and possessive whenever you leave Liyue and head to Mondstadt for whatever reason. He doesn’t want to say anything though because he finds you precious and doesn’t want to restrict your freedoms. 
- Xiao is so worried and paces around the balcony of the Wagshu Inn whenever you’re gone. If you leave Liyue he won’t follow, he has his duties here, but he wishes he could go with you. You always tend to make it back pretty fast though. You don’t want to worry him, and truth be told, you’ve fallen hard for the adeptus. 
- This one time, he sensed your presence back in Liyue after a month-long quest he decided to come and greet you as a surprise. When he came down to the ground floor of the inn though, he saw you with a blue haired man. He seemed very close to you and was making you smile and laugh with a hand inching towards your hips
- Normally, when he sees your beaming grin his heart would melt, but seeing this cheeky bastard try to lay a hand on the person that held his heart. Yes, you were his, he decided in that moment, as he went towards you to break your conversation apart.
- He’s also terrified that this new man could be your new boyfriend, but he doesn’t want to entertain the thought, as it sends pangs of such sorrow through him.
- Finally makes up his mind to march over to you when he sees the man tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear and hears compliments flowing out of his mouth about how beautiful and amazing you are. Definitely won’t let this insignificant knight steal what belongs to him.
- When you see him come over, you’re pleasantly surprised. He doesn’t often come around mortals, preferring his isolation at the top of the inn. What really surprises you though is the way he comes right between you and Kaeya with a strange glint in his eyes
- He normally won’t even touch you, but he’s quick to assert his possessive aura and cautiously wrap his arm around your waist, not quite connecting you two though, wanting your permission. Which you give as you lean towards him. 
- You won’t see but he’s going to be giving the most deathly glares at Kaeya. Kaeya will actually die a little inside, your man is a terrifying slayer of demons ok cut him some slack. 
- “Hey Kaeya, this is Xiao. Xiao, this is my friend, Kaeya. He’s heading back to Mondstadt after helping me with this quest!” you announce as you and Kaeya share knowing looks. You definitely didn’t talk about your love for the adeptus for hours on end during your quest. 
- After your goodbyes with your friend, Xiao looks at you and asks what Kaeya is to you. Which you respond to before he leans closer into you and nuzzles his face into your neck as he tells you how he felt about the two of you speaking and how he felt like he lost you. 
- Feels a little stupid for getting scared someone could take you away from him. 
- His confession paired with his warm actions just truly melt your heart as you also confess your own love to him. Moments where he’s affectionate are rare, but after ordeals like this they’ll be more common.  
- Overall jealous Xiao is only semi-rare, very touchy, and absolutely terrifying. Only to the other person though, he’s always soft to you. He’s secure in knowing that you love him as much as he adores you. Definitely shows you that after he takes care of the person imposing on what is his. (wink wonk) 
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Childe  (Tar-tar-taglia) 
- Childe is just not a serious person. Your whole “relationship” is built around that carefree nature of his. 
- When I say “relationship”, Childe is too immature to actually put a label on what you two are. You two meet up, have some good times, then go your separate ways, before he reaches out to you and the cycle starts again.
- I mean, you guys have a lot of fun together. His nonchalance and ease in lightening the mood allow for incredible days (and nights). Which is why it doesn’t really surprise you when you find yourself falling for him. 
- He has this certain charm even when he’s doing even the most mundane things. In the mornings, when he wakes up first, he’ll be up preparing breakfast or getting dressed, you can’t help but stare at him. He’s so attractive, and he knows it too with his cheeky grins and teasing attitude. 
- He’s really touchy with you. Likes pulling you onto his lap during work or coming up behind you and pushing his hips towards you when you’re doing something. 
- He always has a hand on you whenever you’re together. He’s either holding your hand, tugging you close to him, or just straight out teasing you. 
- He really likes kissing you. Not even in a sexual context, he just likes being next to you and showering your face in kisses. Teasing kisses around your neck and jaw though, he lives for your expressions when he does that. 
- He often jokes that you’d be a fool to fall in love with him, which you hesitantly laugh at. Don’t worry, he says this as a distraction from the fact that he’s also fallen for your patient mannerisms and the way you’re able to put up with him. 
- He calls you babe or doll a lot. In his heart, he knows it’s for real couples, but he doesn’t want to make it weird between you two by asking you out. He really likes your late night rendezvous and your aura that somehow matches his perfectly. 
- He doesn’t get upset when people flirt with you. Yes, he really likes you, but he also knows that he didn’t put a label on the two of you. Plus, you’re hot, of course people are going to flirt with you. He might even join in and help make you flustered.
- If you’re actually uncomfortable by the person flirting with you, then Childe is quick to chase (kill) them off. Hey, he may be an evil harbinger, but he’s noble enough to sense your discomfort.
- He doesn’t really care about people flirting with or getting too touchy with you, again, he knows he has no right to be upset with that. Is kind of upset when he sees people eyeing you up, but he doesn’t say anything to you.
- He does take quick notice when you get more distance from him. He knows the two of you are, unconventional, to say the least, but he wants to keep you close to him, emotionally at least. 
- You’ll probably be aware of your love for the Snezhnayan which is why you’re pulling away. You know that being with him in the way you want probably won’t happen, with how much responsibility he has and just the nature of your relationship. 
- This prompts you to hang around the docks of Liyue more and talk with people from far away. It’s where you meet Beidou (happy late birthday, queen) and her crew. 
- What used to be lunches where Childe would pop in to, turned into afternoons spent learning about Beidou and her time across the seas. 
- He’s actually pretty angry with the less and less frequent meetings between you two. You’d never know though, because he doesn’t say anything about it and always brushes off any concerns on your part. 
- You will get an idea of this anger when he becomes a little more ~aggressive~ during your more scandalous times together. He’s also still playful, but in a slightly more condescending way. 
- What really sets him off is the way you no longer come to all of your dates together, and when he asks, you’ll simply shrug it off and say you were with a friend 
- He doesn’t really get why he feels this way. He understands that he’s attracted to you and wants to pursue a more stable romantic relationship, but he’s never really felt jealous or possessive before. He’s willing to do what he can to make that horrid nagging feeling go away. 
- Makes it his mission to find out who this “friend” was. When he sees you at the harbor with a red and black claymore user, he’s even more annoyed. She’s absolutely gorgeous and captures all of your attention. He can hear her telling you all about the people she’s met and that you’re one of her favorites as she leans closer and closer. 
- Alright, that’s enough for him, he decides and walks towards the two of you. You smile at him and wave when you notice his presence
- Beidou isn’t too pleased though, not happy with the way he interrupted you two. That is, until she sees the murderous glint and seriousness in Tartaglia’s eyes. She decided to dip and you’re a little shocked by his serious disposition.
- Childe is never serious unless the situation gravely calls for that attitude, which you would have never thought you’d be a part of. Honestly with the way he looks, you’re surprised that he didn’t kill her right then and there. 
- Grabs you by the arm and tugs you towards a quiet area, before pinning you against the wall. He’ll whisper in your ear about how he’s unhappy with your current situation and if you have a solution. 
- Yeah, the marks all over you are definitely a label for you two now. He’s pretty carefree until he gets pushed into showing you that he can be serious too.
-  It’s safe to say that Childe is less loose when it comes to you and threats to your relationship. He’ll be fairly playful when irrelevant people come around trying to flirt with you, but when there’s someone he deems an actual threat, well, man gets into harbinger mode. The lack of being able to walk straight the next day will also be a good reminder to you about his love. 
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Scaramouche  (I love this less emo version of Feitan so much omggg)  
- He’s so pissed off and annoyed at everyone. Seriously, how did he even pull you with that attitude (it’s cause he’s fucking adorable that’s why). 
- Anyways, you two have been together for a while, but he doesn’t really want other people to know.
- It’s not that he’s embarrassed of you. He genuinely loves you so much. It’s for that reason, that he wants to protect you. He has a lot of enemies and thinks this is the best way to protect you.  
- He’s not at all standoffish and angry when you aren’t in public though. He basically WORSHIPS the ground you walk on. So soft for you and also very overprotective.  
- If you play with his hair and let him know how much you adore him then he’s just going to fall more and more in love with you. 
- PLEASE IF YOU PUT HIS HAT ON HE’S CONFLICTED ABOUT EITHER TO SNATCH IT OFF YOUR HEAD OR JUST ADMIRE HOW JOYFUL YOU LOOK. 
- He sucks at affection. I’m sorry, it’s just not something he really does, but the occasional head pat and neck kiss brings a smile onto your face so he tries to do it more often. He’s really stiff with hugs and is pretty worried about embarrassing himself when showing you that he loves you.
- He also doesn’t really say that he loves you. He is terrible at expressing himself and sort of just expects you to know that he loves you. Not really a problem though because you’re well aware that you’d be dead if he didn’t love you as much as he does. Also he shows his love through small gifts and softer actions that he would never show anyone else. 
- He will sometimes regret not making it publicly known that you are his though. 
- You either work for or are in association with Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Which means that you spend a lot of time with Zhongli. 
- Now,  Scaramouche is actually pretty insecure. He knows he’s a blunt and cruel person. He’s used to getting things by force and just doesn’t view himself as a person with many redeeming qualities. Terrified that he’ll lose you (sometimes entertains the idea of keeping you in a cage but this isn’t a yandere HC oop). 
- So when he sees you with others, he gets pretty upset and doubts himself a lot. He also pretends he isn’t jealous but you can see right through him and try to reassure him with soft affection. He loves you so much omg, doesn’t really curb his possessive nature though. 
- Fairly manipulative with people who get close to you. If he sees some random person in Liyue flirting with you, well he’s not that upset and getting rid of them is pretty easy. Knows he’s better than commoners like that. Plus the influence of the Fatui runs far and he can make anyone that pisses him off feel his wrath. Low key might actually get rid of them if he’s in the mood. 
- Can’t pull those tricks with a literal God though. When you first told him that you were working with Zhongli, pure rage, which faded into a burning jealous feeling whenever he heard your colleague's name. Definitely tries to break that bond apart. 
- Starts with mentioning how it’s just unnecessary for you to work with how wealthy he is as a harbinger. Next, it’s accompanying you to work with more and more walks in the public eye, in order to get some whispers around. Before he finally begins leaving darker marks on your skin (consensually of course). 
- Zhongli is kinda dense though. He just does not notice the little signs by the harbinger to assert that you belong to him already. He gets tunnel vision with how charismatic and charming you are. 
- Scaramouche low key tails you at work?? Like he watches you when Zhongli is out taking you places for business reasons. He trusts your love, but is a little shaken with how insistent Zhongli is. 
- Really dislikes when Zhongli takes you out for meals though. He loathes that he can’t do that with you, and it’s his fault because he wanted to keep your relationship private. 
- Brings him so much happiness if he sees you pull away from Zhongli’s grasp and keep the atmosphere professional. Zhongli is a respectful man so he’ll keep physical touches to a minimum but he still uses his words and never fails to compliment you or even ask you out on a real date (which you always decline, since you’re a loyal S/O). This puts Scaramouche off, as he knows he doesn’t really tell you how attractive you are as much as you deserve. 
- Ramps up his efforts to show the archon who you belong to by actually dropping in to your work. I swear you actually have a heart attack when he just appears and actually acknowledges you, an action that he established at the beginning of your relationship as something he wouldn’t do. 
- He makes sure to come in when he knows Zhongli is also there. What honestly really takes you by surprise is when he pulls you to him and begins a passionate makeout session in the middle of your workspace. There’s no one really there, just you and the tall amber eyed man, who’s currently in the backroom preparing various things. 
- Scaramouche is fairly clingy and is more inclined to show people that the two of you are together. Zhongli definitely gets the message when he sees your boyfriend locking his lips with yours. Scaramouche will probably pull away and if looks could kill, then the archon would definitely drop dead in the most painful manner. 
- Honestly, without even dropping a beat, your boyfriend will pull you even closer and begin to leave dark hickies along your neck, jaw, and pull your top to the side slightly to leave passionate marks on your shoulders as well. Yeah, Zhongli is pretty uncomfortable with the energy created in the studio today and leaves. 
- Jealous Scaramouche is pretty manipulative, but it also opens up the gate that allows him to express himself more. It’s not too healthy? but it’s really hot when he pins you against surfaces to mark you to show the world that you are his as much as he belongs to you. 
a/n Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave feedback. Anyways, if anyone wants to add us as friends on Genshin, just DM us and we’d be happy to share our UIDs. I kinda suck LOL but Tea is really good. Catch me struggling to farm primogems as I still try to draw Xiao (I’ve drawn Beidou 5 times, I simply cannot anymore, my only male character is fucking Kaeya 💔) 
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hentaianimemaniac101 · a year ago
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Deadpool: you're lucky you can die, spidey you don-
Peter: bold of you to assume i want to live
Deadpool:
Peter:
Deadpool: is that a gen z thing?
Peter: ... maybe
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mrgorewhore · 4 months ago
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Star dew valley redesigns, there wasn't enough diversity so i fixed it Emilys design is inspired heavily by Lo.battery 
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glitchhoppp · a month ago
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Mob loves slime don’t @ me
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kind-little-fella · a year ago
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just want you to know this is what the groke moving around sounds like in my head
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birbbyblue · 6 months ago
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Dream Team + BBH Squirting!SO Hcs
A/N: this one is for all of the readers that have vaginas, sorry everyone else :( I did try to keep pronouns out of it, but if I forgot any don’t hesitate to tell me!!
Dream
You are holding yourself up against the wall, dream is behind you with one hand in your hair and the other wrapped around to your front toying with your clit.
He’s pounding into you, with enough force that you are using both forearms  to try to keep yourself from knocking your head into the wall.
Your knees feel like they are going to give out, because dream keeps hitting you. Right. There. And theres an onslaught of pleasure running through your body every second. 
“God, so fucking perfect for me,” he growled in your ear, moving his hand from your hair to loop around your chest, so that when your knees actually do start to give out he’s there to hold you.
You are so close to cumming and he fucking knows it. He speeds up the hand on your clit, and your whole body tightens. 
“Close, baby?” He asked. You could hear the smirk in his voice. “Feel you clenching around me, feels so fucking good.”
You are right at the edge ready to fall, just like every time before, but theres another feeling, right next to your orgasm and chasing it. It almost felt like you were going to-
“Cl-Clay-!” You try to warn as the waves crash through you. You can feel as liquid runs down your legs and for a moment all you can think is that you peed yourself, and you are mortified. 
“Did you-?” Dream paused. His hips were still moving, a little slower, and in a moment of horror, you realize youre still going. Another orgasm rips through your body and you let out a high-pitched whine. “Babe, i think you just- did you squirt?”
The dots can’t seem to make sense enough for you to connect them. Half of your mind is having a wild orgasm, shaking your whole body with pleasure as the other half is embarrassed beyond belief. 
“I-ahhh-m sorry,” you eventually get enough footing to pant out. 
“Sorry? That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen. Think I can make you do it again?”
Dream goes back to rubbing your clit and pounding away at you. He does get you to do it again, and he has to stabilize himself on the wall too after he cums so hard knowing he could bring you that kind of pleasure. Your legs didn’t fully stop shaking for an hour. 
While Dream held you to his chest afterwards, as you drifted in and out of sleep, you heard him mumbling to himself all the other ways he needed to try to make you squirt again
Sapnap
You were on your back, one hand tangled in the sheets, the other in sapnap’s hair as he ate you out. 
He had one hand on your thigh pinning it right where he wanted it, and the other working three fingers inside you. The way he was curling them so perfectly caused waves of pleasure spread through your whole body. 
You used your hand in his hair and the freeness of you hips to buck your hips into his mouth if he took a moment to torture you with the lack of stimulation. 
You held his mouth to you as you felt your orgasm approaching. 
Sapnap moaned, the feeling running right up your spine, tipping you over the edge. 
You cried out as your orgasm ripped through you, and Sapnap kept going, trying to make it last longer. 
“Nick, mhmm, nick!” You bucked your hips one last time before you felt a different kind of release. 
You immediately sat up, face red as you looked down at sapnap, whose face was dripping wet. 
“Oh my god-“ you started to apologize, but sapnap cut you off. 
“God, Darlin’.” Sap had a smile on his face and he darted his tongue out to taste what was left on his lips. “That nearly made me cum in my pants.”
“Huh?” 
“I got you so worked up with just my mouth and fingers I got you squirting.”
Your brain finally clicked the pieces together. 
“Do you wanna taste?” Sapnap asked as he rose up and gave you a deep kiss. “That was so hot, babe. Nothing to be sorry for, in fact, I’d like to see if we can get that to happen again.” 
George
He has you lying on the bed, your legs thrown over his shoulders as he pounds into you. Your legs are already shaking, having cum twice already.
“G-George-!” You cut yourself off before a loud moan leaves your throat. You can feel the third orgasm creeping up. 
“Come on, one more,” he pants. “I think this will be the- the one.”
You throw a hand behind you to pull at the headboard. George brings his hand down and toys with your clit. 
“Please- George!” You beg, not even sure what you want at this point. The pleasure is toeing the line of pain, and thoughts struggle to enter your head. 
“Come on, be a good little kitten, give it to me,” George demands as he puts kore power behind his thrusts and speed to his hand. 
Your knees squeeze together, a squeal leaving your mouth as another orgasm is pulled from you. This time, you feel it. The rush of liquid leaking from you as George pulls out to marvel at the sight.  
“That’s it,” George slides himself back in you, a few more thrusts have him shooting for the first time that night. “God, that’s it. Proud of you, kitten.”
You have to catch your breath as George lowers your legs and crawls next to you in the bed. 
“That,” you take another breath, trying to calm your heart. “Is not what I thought was going to happen when Sap asked what the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me in the bedroom was.”
“It’s not my fault you never told me you were able to squirt.” 
“It happened once two years ago, I thought I had straight up pissed on the guy. Of course I didn’t tell you!”
George just laughed and pulled you to his chest. 
“You have to clean the sheets. You’re the one who immediately ended the call to pull me in here. The boys definitely know what we did.”
“Should we tell them we were successful?”
“Shut up, George!”
BadBoyHalo
Once on call, the boys made fun of bad for probably having the most boring sex life (or not even having one) and since that day, bad has been on a kink discovery journey. 
He spends a lot of time on the internet, looking up kinks and then doing all the research he can on them.  So far his favorites have been light knife play, he loved that you trusted him enough to let him gently run his knives across your skin, even going as far as cutting you out of a pair of underwear, praise going both ways, and he enjoyed being blindfolded, and blindfolding you.
So when a make out session on the couch started to get steamy, he paused to ask you a question. 
“I found something I want to try, but I can’t tell you what it is. There was an article that said if you were focused too hard on it, it wouldn’t work.” 
“Is it anything that could hurt me?” You asked. You trusted Bad, he wouldn’t not tell you if it was something serious. 
“Of course not,” he looked taken aback that you thought he would.
“I know, just double checking.” You gave him a peck on the cheek. “Can I ask if it’s for you or me?” 
“Well, I think it’s really hot, but you’ll probably like it too, but if you don’t that’s totally okay! And it might not even happen which is also okay!”
You giggled. “Okay, whatever it is, you can try it.” 
Once Bad had you on your back, thrusting into you like there was no tomorrow, you forgot completely that he had something up his sleeve.  
He slid a had down to your clit, flicking his thumb over it quickly. The new line of pleasure caused you to moan out and grind you hips down on his cock. 
“Thats it, squeeze around me, Sugar. That’s it-“
You squeeze one last time as your orgasm flows through you, and then-
“Yes, yes! Sugar- god-“
Bad’s thrusts start to stutter, before you can even register what all happened, he’s pulling out and cumming across your stomach.  
You finally register that your legs are wet and you look up at Bad whose gaze is focused in between your legs. 
“Is that- did you want me to squirt?”
“Y-Yeah, did you- did you like it? Because I did- a lot.”
“If you wanted me to squirt you could have asked, honey.”
“Wait- you knew you could do that?!”
You giggle as you pull him down onto the bed with you. 
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watching-and-stalking · a year ago
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NSFW ahead! Nasty af!!!
Endeavor teaching Natsuo and Touya (when they are above age) how to carry on the Todoroki family line by kidnapping a sweet little thing to practice on.
Maybe the Pro Hero sees your nice full hips and lovely soft body and decides that his eldest sons need a lesson on how to breed a bitch properly. It won’t be very hard to get you to trust him (why would a top hero hurt you?) and into his home where it doesn’t take much for him to strap you to his bed, tying you up with your legs folded and spread with your knees pressed against your chest.
Enji brings both of his sons and they are oh so excited at the prospect of using you. He spreads your soft lips open so the both of them can watch your hole twitch as he starts to rub your clit with a big warm finger.
And you’re struggling so so hard against your bonds, begging him to stop touching you even as your cute little pussy starts dripping.
Enji mounts you first, pining you down with his muscular thighs as he shows you no mercy with his violent thrusts. All the while he’s talking to his sons on the finer points of breeding, like how to get as deep as possible and how to angle your hips so that your eyes roll back in your head. His cock is so heavy and hard inside of you and you already feel so ruined as he slams the succulent tip of his cock into your cervix. His warmth once it fills you is nearly burning and when he finally pulls out it squirts out of you like a geyser.
Touya quickly takes his place, eager to act out his sadistic desire to use you as a cum dump as he bends you nearly in half, your hips lifted off the bed as he slams into you. He’s almost rougher than his father, grinning wickedly as he makes sure every thrust is bruising and punishing. Degrading remarks hiss from his gritted teeth as he grinds into you making you choke and gasp as the line between pain and pleasure blurs and leaves your mind blank. Even after he finally comes he still pistons his hips inside of you, muttering how he needs to make sure it all stays inside.
You’re a crying, trembling mess when Touya finally finishes up with you. You feel like you have come ten times over but still your cunt burns as if you had been edged for hours. It’s too much and you beg to go home as Natsuo climbs atop your form. He brushes the tears off your red cheeks as he shushes you, placing little kisses on the corner of your mouth in an attempt to comfort. He tells you it’s going to be alright as he unties your shaking hands only to drape them around his neck as he presses your chests together. Natsuo presses in nice and slow, kissing under your jaw and murmuring how good you are as he pushes in all the way to the base. It hurts just as bad as when the other two hit your cervix but it’s made even worse by the ice user whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He starts steady rhythm that despite your self has your toes curling and your arms pulling him closer. With your tear stained face buried in his shoulders you miss the smirk that he shoots at the other men who are eyeing the both of you with nothing short of jealousy. He is so so cold compared to the other Todoroki’s and it makes you shudder violently as soon as his come hits your hole. Like Touya, Natsuo stays inside of you after he comes but he keeps his hips still as he pets your hair and cradles you, pointedly ignoring the distasteful glares that are being shot at him. You’re not going anywhere and Natsuo knows it, the least he can do is give you a bit of comfort before you’re railed so hard you won’t be able to walk for weeks.   
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rikorene · a year ago
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you'd come over right?|| tsukishima kei x reader
"if the world was ending, you'd come over, right?"
[ social media au masterlist ]
[ all art belongs to the rightful owners ]
genre: fluff, angst, suggestive themes (nsfw)
note: sorry i'm not much of a funny person and i might update slow, depends on the mood. this is just a masterlist to help you navigate through the whole story hehe.
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。゚・ 𖥸──-ˋˏ ••• ˎˊ-──𖥸 。゚・
sypnosis: you, a party person. someone who loves to go out and socialize, the complete opposite of tsukishima kei. while you find comfort in going out and having fun with your friends, kei would rather stay at home. but kei was entranced at how you were genuine and sincere with every action you did, while you were infuriated at how sarcastic and arrogant kei acted towards you. you know what they say, opposites attract, right?
˚ · .      [ CHAPTERS ]
     ✧ ˚  ·       .
              ┊          ┊
            ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚    ꕥ
‗ ❍ [ your squad ] ¡! ❞ // ‗ ❍ [ kei's squad ] ¡! ❞
i. 一 // (2)
ii. 二
iii. 三
iv. 四
v. 五
vi. 六
vii. 七
viii. 八
ix. 九
x. 十
xi. 十一
xii. 十二
xiii. 十三
xiv. 十四
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fuckyeahgoodomens · a year ago
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Crowley puts up these signs around his and Aziraphale’s cottage, change my mind.
... alternatively it is Aziraphale who put them up and Crowley only added the ‘very cool’ part :).
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pastanest · a year ago
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masterlist
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Happy Birthday, Genius
It started off as just a little crush, and that was how you planned to keep it. Strauss thought it best to introduce her new assistant to the BAU team, since you would be delivering messages and notices to them on her behalf. That’s the thing, it was just a job, and it was your first day! The last thing on your mind was meeting the most gorgeous man you had ever laid eyes on! You were too busy freaking out, trying to remember every single thing Strauss told you, your guard was down, it wasnt fair! But when is it ever?
The team were welcoming enough to you, not overly friendly since it wasnt like you were joining the team, and you could tell there was some tension between them and Strauss which they would naturally reflect on you until you had the chance to prove that you werent her minion. He was running a little late that day, the team ran to him when he entered the bullpen, they circled him and hugged him. You overheard them asking questions about his mother, and then all of them were smiling. He had been away on holiday leave, you assumed. Hotch led the team back over to you and Strauss to introduce you to the final member of the team. It probably didnt help that rather than shake your hand, Doctor Spencer Reid’s first words to you consisted of how many germs are exchanged in a handshake, and how it would be safer to kiss. You couldnt stop the rose hue that bloomed at your cheeks as you looked to the floor in awkward embarrassment, it was so obvious that he wasnt flirting, but the mere suggestion at kissing him was enough to completely fluster you. Thankfully, you recovered relatively quickly and smiled at him kindly, which he reflected back at you. Cupid had aimed his arrow, but it wasnt until the following week that he shot you.
You happened to be at the printer in the bullpen, waiting for a ridiculous number of papers to be printed for Strauss, whose own printer had recently broken. Spencer walked in with Rossi, who was on the brink of rolling his eyes as Spencer effortlessly recited a fact about 18th Century literature. It was so obscure, you couldnt think of how something like that could naturally flow into conversation, and the look on Rossi’s face told you that it definitely wasnt something that had naturally flowed into their conversation. His expression also told you that this was a common occurrence that he was definitely used to. Time seemed to slow as the glass doors closed behind Doctor Spencer Reid, ever so casually strolling over to his desk, his hands flipping through the pages on his desk with a concentrated frown on his face. You felt your face melt just a little, your insides crushing themselves as your heart beat a mile a minute. Cupid had landed a bullseye.
“Careful there princess, if you get a speck of dust on these, the dragon might burn you alive!” Agent Derek Morgan commented, pulling you from your daydream as he crouched down on the floor, picking up the papers you were supposed to be collecting from the printer, that had fallen to the floor while you were being hypnotised. Oh no.
You shook your head and quickly lowered yourself to the floor, picking up the papers with Derek.
“You looked pretty out of it just then, something on your mind, princess?” Derek Morgan had already come up with a nickname for you, it would seem. You are the princess being held under lock and key by the dragon, Strauss, which you couldnt help finding pretty damn funny.
“Oh, nothing, just a little ditzy sometimes is all!” You fumbled your words, blurting them out hurriedly as Derek passed you the rest of the papers and you darted out of the room.
As you glanced over your shoulder, you saw Spencer Reid standing exactly where you had been standing, had he walked over to help you and Derek pick up the papers? You shook your head and sped out of the room, before Spencer noticed you staring.
The dragon’s den, you smirked to yourself as you entered Strauss’s office, which was empty, thank god. You closed the door with your back and leant against it, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. This definitely not good, you need to get over this, he is your coworker for goodness sake! Do you even possess a degree of professionalism?
Honestly, it’s only gone downhill since then. Anytime you’ve had to go into the bullpen, you’ve asked Strauss if the team are away on a case. She thinks you’re just a little socially inept, which is far better than her knowing the truth. Whenever she tells you that the team are down there, you walk as slowly as humanly possible from her office to the bullpen, in the hopes that maybe the team will disappear on a case in the 10 minutes the journey takes you, or at the very least maybe Spencer will go to the bathroom. The bathroom? Why the hell was that your first thought!?! Get your head out of the gutter!
But of course, anytime you succeed in arriving when Spencer isnt there, you feel a slight stabbing pain in your chest as the arrow twists in your wound. You’ve managed to completely avoid talking to him ever since that introduction. It hasnt been all that difficult, he isnt particularly sociable and he doesnt know you at all, so he has no reason to start a conversation with you and you definitely arent going to start one with him. The rest of the team dont talk to you much either, other than the odd bit of small talk in passing. You’ve noticed that Derek has been keeping an eye on you though, for some reason. Sometimes, when you’re daydreaming, or admiring Spencer from the other side of the bullpen, you’re pulled from your thoughts by the feeling of someone watching you, and lo and behold, it’s none other than Derek Morgan. He’s usually got his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised, but he’s quick to look away from you whenever you catch him. You know he isnt checking you out, but that makes you very curious as to what he is doing. It doesnt matter. You are here to work, get paid, and go home. That is it. Ignore everything else-
Spencer Reid is wearing purple. I repeat, Doctor Spencer Reid is wearing purple. This is a code red, or code purple, more appropriately. Good god. Wow. Jesus. Jesus tap dancing christ. He really is something. Look at the way he-
And just like that, you’ve tripped ever so slightly over your own foot and spilt coffee all down your shirt. And the entire team notices. God-fucking-dammit. You were staring at Spencer long enough for the coffee to no longer be scolding hot, but that is about the only positive in this situation. JJ and Emily run over to you and drag you into the ladies bathroom to help you clean your shirt as best as they can, realising that your white shirt is not only going to be stained, but see-through as a result of being wet. Well, maybe if it was see-through Spencer would actually know you existed. He actually looked at you when you spilt coffee over yourself, the first time he’s acknowledged you since meeting you, and it’s because you were being an embarrassing clutz.
“What exactly did you trip over?” Emily asks in amusement, knowing as well as everyone else that you were walking away from the coffee machine with absolutely nothing obstructing your path.
“My own feet.” You answer, laughing at yourself morbidly.
“Dont say it like that! It happens to the best of us, Strauss isnt gonna fire you for spilling coffee! She’ll just be happy you didnt get burnt so she wont have to help you through the incident report!” JJ reassures you, making you and Emily laugh.
“Regardless, I’ve made a total fool of myself in front of the room of geniuses.” You scold yourself.
Emily nudges you. “Trust me, we all already know you well enough to like you. We’re profilers, baby.”
You chuckle and roll your eyes at her, but your mind starts spinning. They all already know you well enough? How would Emily know that? Has the team talked about you? Has Spencer talked about you? Has Spencer profiled you? Did he profile something about you that made him not want to talk to you? Oh god.
Emily fetches you a spare shirt from the bag of clothes she keeps in her car for when the team have to go away on cases, and you promise to give it back to her the following day. When you leave the bathroom, the rest of the team try to act as casual as possible, acting like they arent looking at you to make sure you’re alright. You glance over everyone, but your eyes linger on Spencer, who is sitting at his computer, doing better than everyone else as pretending he isnt looking at you. Maybe because he’s the only one that doesnt have to pretend. You cast your eyes down, feeling Derek’s eyes burning into your back as you head back to Strauss, who will definitely be wondering where her coffee is.
At the end of your day, you leave Strauss’s office feeling heavy, weighed down by your lingering embarrassment. You’re about to push through the glass doors of the bullpen when someone grabs your hand, making you jump out of your skin.
“Im sorry! I didnt mean to scare you!” Ahh, Penelope Garcia, the BAU resident sweetheart.
“Dont worry about it Penelope, do you need me to pass something onto Strauss for you?” You ask, assuming that’s why she wants to talk to you.
She frowns at you in confusion. “No? I want to talk to you!”
Your eyebrows raise. “Why?”
She looks around at the rest of the team who are all packing up their things and getting ready to leave, having not noticed your presence at all. “Not here, trying to talk in secret in a room filled with profilers is a very bad idea. C’mon!”
With that, Penelope grabs your hand again and pulls you all the way to her office, shutting the door behind you.
“So, a little birdy has told me that you have eyes for...another little birdy.”
You stare at her blankly.
She tries harder. “A curly haired...tall...genius, little birdy?”
Your eyes almost fall out of your sockets. “Wh-What!?! That’s ridiculous! Who told you that?”
You can see Penelope analysing your reaction. She doesnt need to be a profiler to know that you just made an incredibly defensive display.
You sigh as you realise. “Derek.”
As silly as it sounds, you really didnt think your daydreaming stares were that obvious to anyone. It hadnt even crossed your mind that Derek could have figured out your secret, you hadnt even really figured out your secret! You’d been trying very hard to ignore it, actually.
Penelope notices the sadness that overtakes your features, she runs over to you and holds your shoulders. “I wont tell Spencer, I promise, please dont worry, I just wanted to talk to you about this.”
You slump down in her chair, feeling utterly defeated. “There isnt anything to talk about.”
Penelope pulls a chair up to sit opposite you, taking your hands back in hers and giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Of course there is! So, when did you realise you had the hots for him?”
You cant help laughing at her question, phrasing it like a teenage girl conversation about boys.
“Honestly? My first day here.” You admit bashfully.
“What do you like about him?” Penelope leans closer, physically invested in everything you’re telling her.
“Gosh, I dont even know where to start! Obviously, he’s more than easy on the eyes, he’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. But the more I’ve gotten to know him - which I havent really, we’ve barely spoken, but being in the bullpen means overhearing his obscure and fascinating outbursts of facts and trivia - he’s just...” You sigh before continuing. “I cant even put him into words, Penelope. He doesnt consider me a friend, he barely knows I exist, but I cant stop thinking about him. I go out of my way to avoid him out of fear of embarrassing myself, but whenever I succeed in avoiding him, it makes me so sad. Being sad would’ve been better than embarrassing myself in front of him like I did today, though.”
Penelope is quiet for a moment as she takes in your words. “He definitely knows you exist, I can assure you of that. Ooh! Actually! I can prove it!”
She jumps to her feet and starts typing away at her computer.
“Earlier when you spilt coffee on yourself, you saw Spencer on his computer, right?” Penelope asks you without tearing her gaze from her screen.
“Yeah, he didnt notice me, as usual.” You feel your heart drop at the memory.
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Ah! Here we go! This is Spencer’s search history from the time you walked out of the bathroom.” She gestures to her screen and you frown in confusion.
Symptoms of coffee burns
What should I do if someone spills coffee on themselves
Risks of coffee burns
How to comfort someone who could be badly burnt
You stare at the screen in disbelief. Penelope laughs. “He isnt the best at the internet.”
You blink rapidly, unable to comprehend what you’re seeing. To avoid evaluating you like a doctor and throwing questions at you, he tried to figure out on his own what he could do to help you.
“My guess? From all his searching and speed-reading, he figured out you hadnt actually burnt yourself, so he stopped worrying and focussed on trying to reduce how embarrassed you felt, by pretending to ignore you.” Penelope explains, knowing Spencer far better than you do, so her reasoning should be trustworthy, but you cant believe her.
“He cares enough to do that, but not to say hi to me?” You question, hoping you’re poking holes in Penelope’s logic, because if she’s right...you cant even begin to consider it.
Penelope rolls her eyes at you. “Spencer may be the smartest person in 99% of the rooms he walks into, but he is so oblivious, (Y/N), you’ll have to make the first move with him. He probably thinks you dont want to speak to him!”
You fall back into the chair you were previously sitting in. “So...what do I do?”
Penelope spins on her heel to face you. “It’s his birthday next Tuesday, you should get him a gift!”
Your jaw drops. “Penelope, I have no idea what to get him! I dont know him well enough!”
Penelope leans back on her desk and frowns. “You’re right, I cant just tell you something to get him because then it doesnt really come from you.” She lights up all of a sudden. “Oh! Oh I’ve got it! Ask him a question! Just one! Find out one of his favourite things, then get it for him!”
You stare at her. “You expect me, after only talking to him once the entire time I’ve worked here, to just walk up to him and ask him a personal question?”
She squeals and claps her hands. “Yes! It’s perfect!”
The following afternoon, you’re on your lunch break, pacing in Penelope’s office.
“I cant do this. I cant. There’s no way! I’ll come across as so strange!”
Penelope taps away at her computer idly. “You’ll peak his interest!”
You stop dead in your tracks, realising that she is absolutely right. You spent all night tossing and turning, convincing yourself you couldnt do it, but just those words from Penelope made you realise. This is it. This is your moment. You storm out of her office, straight over to Spencer’s desk, with only one question on your mind. There is no room in your head to think right now, you are on a mission. Once you reach his desk, he looks up at you in surprise, and you dont give him the chance to speak.
“Spencer, what is your favourite type of doughnut?”
The bullpen falls silent, Derek Morgan the likely cause of hushing the team in anticipation of this moment of “first contact”.
Spencer blinks rapidly, straightening his tie and clearing his throat. “Oh, uh, chocolate and sprinkles, wh-“
You nod and cut him off. “Thank you.” And
You speed walk all the way back to Penelope’s office, collapsing in her arms.
Spencer sits at his desk, still blinking rapidly, but frowning now. Peaking his interest was the most accurate prediction Penelope could have given, for what peaks the interest of a genius more than the unexplained? Penelope has one of her monitors displaying the view from one of the security cameras in the bullpen, the two of you huddling on the floor as you hyperventilate after such an ordeal. Both of you watch Spencer fumble with things on his desk and glance up in the direction you’d left in, frowning after you, completely and utterly confused.
And that is the way you kept it. Everyday leading up to Spencer’s birthday, you spent your lunch break with Penelope in her office, the two of you forming a beautifully mischievous friendship. Your confidence grew by the day, in between jobs for Strauss you’d have entire conversations with Rossi and Derek, or JJ and Emily, or Hotch, but make a quick escape the moment Spencer approached. You and Penelope had a special code, every time you entered the bullpen you’d knock twice on her office door so that she knew to have a monitor displaying the security camera view, so she could watch you and squeal at the way you prolonged Spencer’s curiosity. By now, you knew Derek had told everyone on the team, except for Spencer, about your crush, so naturally a group of profilers had gotten onboard with your plan. They would talk about you in front of Spencer while away on cases or in the jet, they’d talk to him about you, and then they’d report back to you with the amount of detail only a profiler could give. It was like high school, but high school with professional profilers.
“We were talking about the prettiest girls in the building, and we said we’d put you at the top of the list, then we asked Spencer if he agreed!” JJ squeals, you, her and Emily huddling around the coffee machine and chatting quietly.
Emily grins. “So he starts stuttering and avoiding eye contact - clear indicators that he didnt want to answer, because he knows we’re friends and whatever answer he gave would likely get back to you, but he knows we wouldnt tell you if he disagreed because that’s cruel, so he wouldnt have to be worried if he did disagree - the fact he was so worried means he definitely agreed!”
The three of you squeal and jump around the coffee machine together, then you hear distant laughter. Turning around, Hotch, Derek, and Rossi are pointing at the three of you and laughing, having seen you all literally jumping and squealing around a coffee machine. Spencer is standing with them, but he isnt pointing, he’s just smiling widely, and not at all three of you. Just at you.
Blushing furiously, you grab the coffee Strauss had sent you to get, and you bolt out of the room. Something is definitely happening, but you need to put it off as long as possible, just for effect, and also because you’re scared but we can brush over that.
Spencer’s birthday arrives far quicker than you expected, but you are prepared. Well, physically prepared in the sense that you had his gift and you were wearing a purple shirt with one less button undone than is typically professional, but mentally? You are all over the shop. You arrive at work early to run to Penelope and freak out with her. She forces you to leave half an hour before the work day officially started, you needed to leave Spencer’s gift on his desk before he got there, so he didnt know it was from you and had to figure it out. Because drama, and fear.
As soon as the box is on his desk, you sprint back to Penelope’s office. She helps you fix your hair post-freak out, you straighten your shirt out and debate with her about how many buttons to have undone, and she helps you conclude a one-less-than-classy amount, which is what you’d originally planned but you are not in the correct headspace to be making such vitally important decisions. Soon enough, via Penelope’s monitor you see Spencer walk through the glass doors, his friends immediately swarming him with hugs and birthday wishes. You smile watching the interaction, it warms your heart, until you notice Spencer’s eyes lock onto the box on his desk.
“That’s your cue! Go!” Penelope all but shoves you out of her office, using her body as a barricade to prevent you from hiding away in there again.
Realising there’s no way out of this now, you creep forward, trying to be as silent as you can possibly be. You tiptoe down the hall just enough to peak around the corner and watch Spencer approach the box with a furrowed brow. He picks the large box up, examining it carefully.
“Who is this from?” Spencer asks his friends, all of them shrugging like trained actors, confusing Spencer even further.
He places the box back down on his desk and slowly lifts the lid, his eyes lighting up at the sight before him. 12 doughnuts, covered in chocolate and sprinkles.
You step out from around the corner, slowly descending the stairs with your hands behind your back. Spencer’s eyes almost immediately lock onto you, and you catch him doing a very quick double take from your chest to your face. You knew purple was the correct choice for a cleavage frame.
“I take it this was the reason for your question?” Spencer asks you, amusement and understanding beautifully lacing his every word.
You nod, smiling at him with confidence you’d never known to possess before. “Figured that the best way to capture the attention of a genius was to make myself a mystery to him.”
Emily slaps her thigh and makes an “ooh!” cheering sound at your words, causing everyone to laugh before Derek ushers the rest of the team to the round table, giving you and Spencer some space.
“So, what do you plan to do with my attention now that you’ve got it?” Spencer asks curiously, a hint of teasing dusting his tone ever so slightly.
You take a step closer to him, only his desk parting the two of you. “You had my attention long before I had yours, it’s only fair that I ask you that question.”
Spencer chuckles, casting his gaze to his desk, your hands on it as you lean just a little closer to him. “Are you absolutely sure about that?”
You beam at him. “Positive, Derek Morgan figured out my fascination on day one.”
Spencer meets your eyes, smiling teasingly. “That only means I was more successful in hiding it than you were.”
You raise an eyebrow, biting your lip before you reply. “One could argue that the stronger the affections, the more difficult they are to hide, so does that mean I win?”
Spencer begins leaning closer to you, the gap between you closing by the second. “The strength to hold back affections is far more difficult to maintain, I can assure you.” His words are a whisper now, the volume of your actions being enough to silence everything else.
“Who wins, then?” You ask him, closing your eyes.
“Both of us, I think.” With that, Spencer’s shaking hands free themselves from his trouser pockets and cradle your face as he closes the gap between your lips and his.
Your hands hold onto his, relishing every intricate detail of his touch, his kiss.
Cheers erupt from the doorway of the roundtable, causing you and Spencer to break apart into fits of laughter. Your hands are quick to shield your blushing face, but before you know it Spencer has walked around his desk and pulled you into his chest, still laughing at the situation he’s found himself in.
“Kid’s got GAME!” Derek shouts, and the team cheer in support of his statement, causing Spencer to laugh harder.
Pulling away from Spencer slightly and dropping your hands from your face in order to wrap your arms around his middle, you smile up at him. He’s looking at his friends, distracted for just a second, and you take that second to admire him until he catches you. Spencer smiles bashfully as he realises you were checking him out, or more accurately, his jawline. And his eyes. And his lips. And his hair. And his cheekbones. And his adorable nose. You grin at him.
“Happy Birthday, genius.”
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ego-tistical-prick · a year ago
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one of my favourite parts about this fandom is just how everybody seems to have collectively decided that if logan had a weapon it would be a baseball bat
like- nothing thats high tech or anything that would be most logical to defend yourself with in a violent situation like maybe a gun or something more sciency like a scalpel- NO!! this boy will gets himself a BAT because he HAS. pent up ANGER and FRUSTRATION. and he WILL be breaking peoples SKULLS.
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marz-teacup · 8 months ago
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Asking The Adult Trio For Kisses Would Include (separate):
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author’s note: listen, i LOVE HxH, so i feel like it was a crime that I haven’t written for the fandom yet (even though i don’t really care for Hisoka) so let me know what you think and i’ll possibly write more in the future!
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Illumi Zoldyck
Illumi is 100% the type to be like??? you actually want to kiss me seriously?? but why??
the two of you would be on a date and he’d stare at you in blank confusion at your request, not exactly sure what to say or sure what to do in this situation
“You want to give me a kiss?”
“If I may, then yes I do.”
 when you just stare at him expectantly waiting for him to make the first move so you would know thats its okay, he’d eventually just give a curt nod and lean down a bit so you can kiss the side of his face 
after you do so, Illumi would be thinking ‘that wasn’t so bad’ and is silently wishing you’ll ask to do it again, and he’d be a little sad when you don’t
now listen: it’s hard to catch a trained assassin off guard, especially a skilled one like Illumi who only rarely showed emotions depending on the day of the week
but when you pull him down and give him two more quick kisses he’d jump back a bit shocked while staring at you before you wave good bye to him with a smile shutting the door behind you 
when he gets back home to the Zoldyck Estate, his mother is already hounding him with question after question asking why he took so long, what happened and why did he look so spaced out (more than usual that is)
when the initial shock finally wears off, he turns to her with a small tilt of his head and calmly states 
“We went on a date, and they kissed me three times.”
“WHAT?! ILLUMI COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT, DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME!”
he’d point to the sides of his face with a back and forth motion before walking off again while his mother is still yelling behind him
when he gets back to his room though, he can’t help but give a small smile just for a second when no ones around to see, carefully touching the sides of his face where he swore he could still feel your lips on his face
Chrollo Lucilfer 
as you already know, Chrollo is a busy man at all times of the day with being the leader of possibly one of the most dangerous gangs in the world  
you usually respect that fact and just make sure to remind him to eat or drink some water when he gets a break, as well as to try and squeeze in a few minutes of sleep or so if he can so he isn’t running on nothing 
but other times, you want just more than a split-seconds worth of his time even if you aren’t that vocal about it 
the whole day you’re fidgeting trying to find the right time to even just ask to hold his hand if he had the time to spare, but eventually you just give up with a sigh and go back to the book you had been attempting to read 
Chrollo would notice somethings up when he sees you next time, and as if he was reading your mind and you don’t even have to ask for a kiss out loud
“Darling?”
just as you finished the last line to turn and respond with a ‘Yes Chrollo?’, his lips connected with your catching you off guard for a second before you eagerly kissed back 
Chrollo pulled away with a smile as he turned to leave again making your happiness dim a bit that he was leaving so soon again, but you knew that he had to go, he was busy after all 
reluctantly, your eyes went back to your book once again as you sat to wait his return whenever that maybe 
you missed the sad and fond look over Chrollo’s face as he opened the door, but you didn’t miss the words he said after that made your heart practically start to play jump rope
“I care for you Darling, you make me....Happy.”
with that, Chrollo was gone again, but a smile of your own traced your lips as your fingers ghosted where his were only moments ago before you whispered a reply back knowing he could hear it out the door
“I care for you as well, you make me happy too.”
Hisoka Morow 
okay so as creepy as Ronald McDonald over here can be sometimes, he’s honestly just an oversized house cat with pink and purple hair 
Hisoka is also usually the one who’s always trying to kiss you when he can but you know that when he says ‘one kiss’ he means ‘one one hour make out session’ 
so on a random day when he’s not initiating some sort of affection with you, it doesn’t sit right with you
he wasn’t mad at you or else he wouldn’t be lingering around your apartment, but he was quiet which wasn’t normal for him 
that’s when you realized that if he wasn’t going to come to you, you’d have to go to him
Hisoka was just sitting there casually shuffling his cards practicing tricks when you finally worked up enough confidence to shakily walk up and stand in front of him expectantly waiting for him to make a move
“Hmm, unfortunately my Nen abilities aren’t mind reading. Is there something you need or want lovely?” 
suddenly you didn’t feel as bold anymore with one sharp look from Hisoka’s yellow glowing eyes
when you turn to walk away again after trying to brush it off, Hisoka would pull you back with his Bungee Gum so you’re leaning down nearly nose to nose with him from where he’s sitting on the floor 
“How rude to not answer my question! Now I’ll ask one more time, do you want or need something from me?”
“...Can I have a kiss?”
When you finally just to decide to go for it, Hisoka is shocked that you actually asked but gives a smirk as he turns his head tapping his cheek with one of his sharpened nails
just as you lean in to do it, Hisoka would turn his head and close the gap between the two of you, kissing you right on the lips before you pull away flustered 
“I was waiting for you to ask me all day, I started to worry you forgot about me!”
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ohworm-writes · 4 months ago
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so, since there seems to be a lack in fluff for our favorite masked badass, here are some fluffy headcanons for none other than Sniper Mask!!
Sniper Mask Boyfriend Headcanons
high-rise invasion/tenkuu shinpan masterlist
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he totally has naturally cold hands
he likes to run them under your shirt at random periods just to mess with you
he gives you his blazer when you get cold, 100%, you cannot change my mind on this
has a fixation with your hands
he’ll play with them when your cuddling lots
he traces random patterns on your skin when you cuddle
moves his mask up just enough to give you kisses
protective over you
gets anxious when he doesn’t have an eye on you
and on the chance that you're lost or in danger
oh man-
he would tear apart everything and everyONE just to find you
when he finds you, you’re gonna be trapped in his arms for a good couple of hours
he takes his mask off in front of you without a care in the world
the first time he did it, you were shocked
and he kinda looked at you like “are you gonna eat or what?”
would kill an angel that comes near you without a second thought
makes SURE you’d never turn into an angel
he’s always careful when he takes off his own mask that you don’t see the back of it
he’s scary good at flirting
can get you flustered EASY
adores pick up lines, even the stupid ones, cause they always get a smile out of you
loves when you mess with his hair
he’ll even start dozing off during it
has a habit of humming
songs? random tunes? whatever. you’ll just hear him start humming out of nowhere
its honestly adorable
teaches you how to shoot his rifle
he makes sure to hold your hand when the two of you go over the suspension bridges
for your sake, and his
peppers your face with kisses whenever he gets the chance
makes it his #1 goal to make sure that you and Kuon get along
calls you “princess” (in private)
likes when you trace your fingers over the scar on his face
probably met you after Kuon brought him out of the hibernation process
didn’t trust you at first, but that changed later on
now he’s a huge simp for you 
would actually be a really good cook
is genuinely terrified that something might happen to you
puts his hat on your head from time to time
puts his hat over his eyes when he sleeps
not big into PDA cause he’s scared he’s endangering your safety
but he makes up for it in private
LOVES dancing with you
he likes to hug you from behind
falls asleep really easily (that is, when he DOES sleep. wait- does he sleep?????)
he gives you tons of forehead kisses
overall, a gentleman and a softie <3
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feel free to add some more if you want! sorry if they’re a bit OOC, this main just gives me HUGE brain rot and i love him <3
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pastanest · a year ago
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masterlist
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New Year’s Eve
Spencer Reid. He is so ridiculously hot. You catch yourself salivating just watching him across the room, sitting at his desk flipping through files, that concentrating frown on his face. His face, god his face, he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. Those gorgeous eyes, the cheekbones and jawline that can cut you anytime they want, those sexy curls, the delicate but strong hands. Good lord, you would do anything to have those hands on you.
“(Y/N)?” Emily snaps you back to reality.
You blink rapidly, immediately blushing when you catch Spencer smiling down at his papers. There’s no way to prove he’d caught you staring at him, but you just know it.
“Y-Yeah, sorry, what’s up?” You force yourself to fully engage in whatever Emily is about to say.
She glances at Spencer from the corner of her eye, and you know she knows too. Hell, everybody knows!
“Well, Im inviting the team over for New Year’s Eve, and I was wondering if you wanted to come? If you dont have any other plans, that is.”
Plans? I mean, you did have a fantastic date with a tub of ice cream and tears in front of the tv during the countdown.
“I’d love to!” You hear yourself say, and you are immediately swallowed by regret.
She’s going to invite Spencer, and then if he says yes, you’re all going to get drunk at Emily’s house. You’ve never had a problem drinking in front of your friends at parties before, they would suspect something if you refused to drink, meaning Spencer would have to see you drunk, and who knows what drunk you will say!?!
“What about you, Spencer, are you free?” Emily turns to face the young genius, who places the files on his desk and smiles up at her.
“I dont have any plans!” And then, his smile lands on you. Just for a second, but it’s enough.
Oh god, what have you gotten yourself into?
That thought enters your head everyday until New Years Eve, and greets you one final time upon Emily opening her front door and pulling you in for a hug. She leads you into her living room to greet everyone and you force your eyes to look at him last, but when you do...fuck. He’s dressed up for the occasion, slightly fancier than work clothes, but that patterned button-up shirt with just a few buttons undone? May the angels watching over you tonight cover their eyes, ‘cause once you’ve got alcohol in you, this is going to be a shit show.
You greet everyone with hugs, and again save Spencer for last. He pulls you in so gently, placing the lightest kiss on your cheek and flashing you that gorgeous grin. You’re already blushing far too much, so you dart over to the snack table and pour yourself a straight shot of vodka. Spencer takes a sip of his own drink to hide his amused smirk as he watches you, but little does he know the entire team is fully aware of the chemistry between the two of you.
He’s never really felt like the cool guy. The one in high school that all the girls had a crush on at one point or another. The one in the movies who can make any girl swoon. He’s never had that effortless charm, he’s never been a smooth talker, he’s never had any of that. As a teenager, he couldnt deny that he wanted to experience just a little of that adoration, just to try it out. But as he got older, he came to the conclusion that it would never be that way for him, and he grew to be ok with that.
That was, until you came along. Suddenly, someone was blushing and stuttering when he spoke to them. Someone was shivering anytime he brushed past them. Someone was trying their absolute best to hide the fact they were swooning at the things he said and did. And that someone happened to be the girl of his dreams, it really was too good to be true, but Spencer didnt care. For the first time in his life, reason and statistics meant nothing to him, because you wanted him.
You really want him. Everyone can see it. Spencer obviously reciprocates your feelings, but he’s a little more composed about it.
At some point in the night, you find yourself laughing with Aaron and Rossi, having a wonderful conversation about the funniest moments on cases this year. Admittedly, most of them were caused by you falling over or dropping something at a particularly inappropriate time, but there arent exactly many funny memories to cling to when you’re a criminal profiler, so the team is more than happy to have a clutz.
“Excuse me.” A quiet voice speaks in your ear, and then a hand ever so gently presses against the small of your back as Spencer passes behind you and heads to the kitchen with Derek, who walked behind you without having to touch you at all.
You’ve noticed Spencer does that a lot. To anyone else, he’ll pretty much throw his arms in the air to avoid touching them when passing, but to you? Every time, without fail, there’s physical contact. Even if it’s fleeting, even if you can barely feel it, you know that it’s happening. Neither of you have ever addressed it, it’s an unspoken “thing” between you. As is the smile and wink he throws over his shoulder at you as he walks away from your blushing, shivering form.
Spencer cant deny that your admiration for him has done his ego wonders, but he doesnt really care about that. He finds your crush on him utterly adorable, and he thoroughly enjoys teasing you a bit here and there to get the slightest reaction from you.
It’s safe to say you drive each other mad.
But, how do you drive Spencer mad, I hear you ask? Well...
“Hey! Hey you! Hey!” The alcohol has sent you stumbling over to Spencer, who’s standing on his own after Derek briefly left him to go pee.
You trip on your own foot, but Spencer is quick to catch you before you hit the ground. He lifts you back up to stand, then decides it’s safer to keep an arm around you so that you dont fall over again. Of course, that’s what he’ll say the reason is.
“Hey (Y/N)!” He chuckles. “Are you alright?”
You nod frantically with your eyes closed. “Ohhh yes! Im great! Just came over here to tell you a secret.”
Spencer raises his eyebrows in interest and amusement. “What’s the secret?”
You smile and open your eyes to look at him, the space around him is a little blurry, but his face will always be crystal clear to you.
“You’re a very handsome man! That’s not really a secret. Everyone knows. But! It’s a secret that I liiiike it!” You giggle and blush at your own words, somewhere in your mind your consciousness is mortified.
Spencer feels his heart swell. “Well thank you very much! You’re a very pretty girl, and I like that-“
Before he can finish his sentence, you somehow manage to spill your drink all over his patterned shirt.
“Oh no! Im so sorry!” You start patting at his shirt with your hands in a drunken, guilty, confused mess, but you only make it worse. Sober you will thank drunk you for that contact later, though.
“Dont worry (Y/N), it’ll wash out!” Spencer tries to calm you down a little, and you nod, understanding that vodka and lemonade is transparent and wont leave an obvious stain.
“But you’re all wet!” You cry.
Emily hears your distress and runs over from the other side of the room. “Oh, dont worry, I’ve got an old shirt of an ex boyfriend’s upstairs that you can borrow.”
She starts walking into the hall, and you and Spencer follow her. Emily leaves you both in the kitchen while she goes upstairs to retrieve the shirt. While you wait, you decide to jump up on the kitchen counter and kick your legs like a toddler.
“You’ve got to stop being so cute.” Spencer sighs from his place opposite you, leaning back on the sink with his hands holding the counter.
“Only if you stop being so damn hot!” You stick your tongue out at him, causing you both to laugh.
Emily arrives in the kitchen and throws the shirt at Spencer. “There ya go, I dont actually need it back so feel free to keep it or throw it out.” And before either of you can respond, she’s gone.
Spencer starts unbuttoning his shirt, he raises an eyebrow at you playfully. “Are you going to cover your eyes?”
You cover your face with your hands, but slowly spread your fingers, allowing yourself to see. He laughs and shakes his head at you, continuing to strip free of his shirt regardless. Thankfully it was only really the side of his shirt that you got wet, so his chest isnt sticky and he doesnt have to wipe himself down before pulling the other top over his head. That would’ve been a pleasant sight, though.
Once the shirt is on, you close the gaps in your fingers and hide as though you hadnt been watching him the entire time.
“You can look now.” Spencer teases sarcastically.
You shake your head in your hands.
“Awwh, is the pretty girl feeling shy all of a sudden?” His voice is closer to you than it was before, oh boy.
This time, you nod into your hands. You feel yourself leaning forward against your own free will.
“Woah! Careful!” Spencer warns as he takes another quick step forward so that you fall against him rather than onto the floor.
He wraps his arms around you, and the two of you stay like that for a while.
“Spencer?”
“Yes?”
“You smell good.”
“Thank you!”
“Hey, Spencer?”
“Yes?”
“How long is it ‘til the New Year?”
“Uhh...” He glances up at the clock on the kitchen wall. “About an hour, why?”
“Can you get me a glass of water?”
Spencer’s arms leave you and you feel immediately sad about it. He looks down at you curiously as you pull your hands away from your face. “Of course, why?”
You grin up at him. “Gotta sober up for the New Years kiss!”
Spencer’s eyes almost fall out of his skull. “Wh-What!?!” He shuffles over to the sink to prevent you seeing his flustered expression.
“Well, I know you wont kiss me when Im drunk because you think the alcohol is talking instead of me so part of you doubts if I actually like you AND you have really good morals so you wouldnt take advantage of me, which means I’ve gotta sober up real fast in time for the countdown ‘cause otherwise this was all for naught!” You explain, proud of yourself for being able to talk coherently for so long considering how much you’ve had to drink.
“Did drunk-you just say the word ‘naught’?” Spencer laughs as he pours you a glass of water.
“Yes she did!” You beam at him.
He passes you the glass. “Alright, let’s get you sober and then we’ll see if you still want to kiss me.”
You roll your eyes and talk with the glass tipped to your mouth, making your words echo slightly. “That’s gotta be the dumbest ‘if’ sentence I have ever heard.”
And so, for the next hour, you and Spencer talk and down as much water as humanly possible. There’s several bathroom trips for each of you, and every time one of you is sitting on the floor outside the bathroom, still talking to the other person through the door. At five minutes until the countdown, you gulp down your final glass of water.
“How do you feel?” Spencer asks carefully as he takes the glass from you and places it in the sink.
“Like my body is drowning, but apart from that Im all good.” You joke, wiping your mouth and applying lipbalm because dry lips are a fate worse than death.
Spencer chuckles at you and leans back against the counter. Despite his efforts to appear calm and collected, his nerves are obvious.
You sigh. “Spence, you’re clear as glass right now.”
Hopping off the counter, you take two steps closer to him, surprised at your own confidence.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day we met, the question isnt if that’s true, it’s whether that feeling is reciprocated.” You tell him, your voice quiet.
Spencer gulps, and for the first time your roles are reversed; he’s nervous instead.
“Is the feeling reciprocated?” You question.
“Y-Yes!” Spencer stutters.
“Then kiss me goddamnit!” You exclaim playfully.
“We’ve got to wait for the countdown!” He retorts.
“How long have we got!?!” You cry.
“Three minutes!” Spenecer squeaks.
“OH MY GOD!” You throw your arms in the air in frustration, before both of you burst out laughing. Full on, hunched over, wheezing with tears in your eyes.
Wiping your eyes, you stand back up.
“Y’know what? I think you’re just too pussy to kiss me right now, so you’re using New Year’s as a cop-out.” You cross your arms and lean back against the counter, a smug smile on your face.
Spencer smirks. “Oh really?”
You walk towards him until you’re almost touching. “Yeah!”
Spencer crosses his arms to match yours, reflecting your smugness. “Well, why dont you kiss me? Huh? Someone else scared?”
You throw your arms above your head. “Hell yeah I am, why do you think I told you to kiss me!?!”
Spencer throws his arms up in the air to match. “But Im scared too!”
“So am I!”
“You just said that.”
“So let’s fuckin’ do it!” You wrap your arms around his neck.
“A-Are you sure you want me to, I-I mean-“ He holds his arms up gingerly, afraid to touch you.
You nod furiously. “Yes! Go!”
“Fine!” Spencer shouts.
“Fine!” You shout back.
He grabs you by the waist and pulls your body flush against his, your lips meeting in the most beautiful, chaotic way you could have ever imagined. You feel him relax into the kiss, his hands caressing your sides, yours running through his hair and pulling him closer to you, if that’s even possible.
“10, 9, 8...” The rest of the team call out in unison from the living room.
“Oh shi’!” You mumble into the kiss, your eyes and his opening, but your lips staying locked together.
“7, 6...”
“Shou’ we ju-?” Spencer asks into your lips.
“5, 4...”
“Kee’ goi’? Yeah.” You agree, the two of you nodding and continuing to makeout.
“3, 2, 1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone screams, the rest of the team piling into the kitchen to cheer with you, but they all stop immediately upon finding you and Spencer.
You jump apart, a feet of space between you, but they already saw, and if they hadnt, the state of his hair would’ve given you both away.
“Happy...N-New Year?” You stutter, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly.
Derek takes a sip of his beer.
“Well, someone’s year is starting off with a bang.”
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theirmajesty2139 · 2 months ago
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Re 8 sexual headcannons 🔞
Lady Dimitrescu
Sleeping with her won't ensure your survival, she just likes to play with her food before she eats.
Is definitely into being a domme and I'm headcannoning her as a lesbian. She's into femmes and breaking in a virgin is her favourite pastime. She loves to taste your blood as it goes from the sweet wine of virgin blood to the deep, rich flavor of ruined innocence.
I'm sure she owns a strap-on and wants to absolutely RAIL you. Period sex is her favourite thing, she will tease you until you're a dripping, squirming mess and then lick up your blood untill you cum on her tongue.
Will suspend you above her bed and watch as you struggle and blood trickles down your body.
Will suffocate you with her chest and hold you there until you beg to be let up with her nails digging into your back.
After she's done she loses any cruelty from before and cradles you against her like a mother. Will make you drink water and put you to bed. When you wake she will be gone
Karl Heisenburg
A pansexual switch with a preference for domination. A sadomasochist and into primal play. He wants to be the big bad wolf hunting down his prey and making sure the whole village hears them scream. Really enjoys non-traditional bondage and uses his powers to keep things exciting. He will pin your wrists above your head and then bend a strip of solid steel around them so you can't wriggle out nomatter how hard you try. Wants to hold you down and fuck you like a dirty animal. Will bite, hard. You will lose chunks of flesh and sex with him will definitely leave scars. Likes a bratty partner who will tease him until he loses his temper and gives him a good excuse to be rough with them. He likes to give and receive head and he tastes like sweat, oil and metal. Will hold your head and fuck your throat.
Despite his arrogant persona if you play with his hair he goes from master to obedient puppy surprisingly quickly. Has serious mummy issues and will melt if you tell hem he's a good boy. He is happy to bottom for his partner but it'll take a while to convince him not to top from the bottom. Will make crude jokes in an attempt to get you to fill his mouth. Wants to be slapped around and degraded. Nomatter if he's giving or receiving his favourite kind of sex is hot and angry.
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cakieinnit · 7 months ago
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➪𝑃𝐼𝐺𝐺𝑌-𝐵𝐴𝐶𝐾 𝑅𝐼𝐷𝐸𝑆 𝐹𝑅𝑂𝑀 𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐵𝑂𝑂, 𝑇𝑂𝑀𝑀𝑌, 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝑇𝑈𝐵𝐵𝑂 𝐻𝐶’𝑆
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Request: I thought of this at like,,,, 3 am last night,,, but anyways
Could you do headcannons of giving/ getting piggyback rides from Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo? Piggyback rides were one of my favorite things todo w my friends (before this shit time) and there really fun :))) - @a-paper-cut
Pairing: Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo & Reader
Genre: Fluff
Format: Headcannons
Warnings: None
Author’s Note: None
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❥ Tommyinnit
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Lmao, it would take him a bit of convincing before he lets you onto his back
He’s like— tall
And he would sometimes zoom around with you on his back
NYOOM
There was one time you two crashed into a tree because of how fast the two of you were going
It was his fault-
And yet he’d take no responsibility for it
❥ Tubbo
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Lowkey doing his extreme best not to drop you
Tubbo is a smol boi, not too smol but just probably the average height
He would walk around carrying you on his back as if it was no big deal
Sometimes he would purposefully crash you two into something, as long as it was soft and it wouldn’t hurt the two of you
He likes giving you piggy-back rides, it makes him feel special ^-^
❥ Ranboo
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Just like Tubbo, he’s trying his damn hardest not to drop you
And this bitch is tall and lanky as fuck
Like- sometimes he would accidentally teleport and catch you completely off guard, making you dizzy
He has memory problems, so for a whole hour, he completely forgot you were on his back before you tumbled forward when he bent down to pick something up
He apologized at least a 100 times because of that
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shitposting-for-the-soul · 2 months ago
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Heisenberg is the kind of guy to be so bothered by the 1 inch height difference between him and Ethan. He’s giving his deal and he’s like this fucker is taller than me bitch better sit. Bitch wears platform boots to get taller.
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blusunflwer · 8 months ago
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thought I would post this here too...since both zuko and katara love the beach hehe. zuko is a little shy cause he’s not quite in his element and only has memories of when his family was all there together. but with a little coaxing, katara makes him join her :)
I’d also like to think that while they were there, zuko would give katara a seashell or some other kind of memento and she would love it.
art by @/chellioh on ig
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disturbedbutgorgeous · a year ago
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Imagine Jaskier finding out he's part fae and that he doesn't age.
Geralt and Yennifer meet Jaskier after not seeing him for ten years.
Geralt, amused: He's the same Jaskier he's always been.
Yennifer: He's part fae, what else do you expect?
Jaskier: Hold on...! I'm a what now??!
Yennifer: Are you telling me you don't know? You look at yourself in the mirror enough, you'd think you'd notice.
Geralt snickers: He even carries one in his satchel.
Jaskier: What does a mirror have to do with me being part... fairy?
Geralt: How old are you, Jaskier?
Jaskier: 39.
Geralt: And you never realized you haven't aged a day in twenty years?
Jaskier, speechless: I— uh.... I have a good skin routine?
_____________
I adore that the fandom has collectively accepted the headcanon of Jaskier not aging in the series because he must be part fae.
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