incorrectbatfam · a day ago
List of Gotham slang
Holy ___ Batman!
Pulling a [insert villain]
Throw a batarang (euphemism)
Ride in the Batmobile (euphemism)
Bring a meta into Gotham (euphemism)
Take a shortcut through Crime Alley (euphemism)
Fear gassing
Metropolis (derogatory)
As useful as the GCPD
Be gay go Rogue
Jason Todding
Get Wayned
Mansplain manipulate Man-Bat
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cupsmp · 2 days ago
no more 16th hype means we make up our own lore. Today c!Tommy planted flowers in the walls of pogtopia and allowed the growth from L'Manberg curl through the secret pathway from there to Pogtopia, connecting it all together in life.
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usermcnameface · a day ago
How Genshin men react to you in pregnancy labor
List of other works
TW: Mentions of sex, medical procedures, body fluids, giving birth and female anatomy
(Fem!reader x Ayato/Venti/Albedo)
Holy fuck, why did you ever let your partner impregnate you?! Laying upright with your legs spread far apart in bed, you grit your teeth through the powerful contractions. The pain in your lower back and groin feels like someone is taking a shiv and stabbing your body with unrelenting fury. You’ve been in labor for a couple days now but as you finally reach the crescendo, you start to sob. You are SO tired and the pain has become unbearable, you’re not sure if you have it in you to do this. Just when you feel another strong contraction coming, a cloth wipes the sweat off your brow and someone laces their hand with yours. You look up to see the loving face of….
Being a nobleman, it was tradition for the husband not see his wife and newborn until after she had given birth. That was how his father had done it when his mother gave birth to Ayaka and that’s how he initially planned it too. But after Thoma offhandedly told him about how fathers in Monstadt are present in the delivery room for the whole duration, he decided he wanted to be there for you. So when he heard that his lovely wife had gone into labor, he brushed past the stunned attending maids in the delivery room to support you and he has not left your side since.
You gave him a tired smile while he gave your lips a quick peck. “You’re doing so great my darling, just a little while longer.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, “squeeze my hand as much as you need to.”
The midwife tending to you, stuck her gloved hand inside your vagina to assess your cervical dilation. 10 cm*. She gives you the go ahead to start pushing. You started to cry, “I can’t do this.” Your husband brushed the sweat soaked hair off your face and held your cheek. Looking at you straight in the eye he said, “yes you can. I love you so much. I know you can do it.” Ayato gives you a sweet kiss on the temple and squeezes your hand in reassurance.
With much needed encouragement from the love of your life, you push through the pain and give birth to you and Ayato’s first child. After the midwife wipes the vernix* off the baby, she places the crying neonate on your chest. In response to the warmth of your chest, the baby gradually stopped crying and caressing the head of his first born, the commissioner was overcome with emotion with tears welling in his eyes. Sitting beside you with his head against yours, you both gazed at the product of your love. He’s so glad that he did not miss out this experience because he will treasure this moment for the rest of his life.  
The Anemo Archeon has never gotten the ‘birds and the bees’ talk but even though he was never explicitly educated on the subject, he had some idea on how babies were born because he’s watched animals give birth during the springtime. So naturally, when you told him that you were pregnant with his child, he made the assumption that it would be as easy and as painless as the animals he’s observed.  
It turns out, he could not be more wrong.
In the beginning of your labor, he did his best to support you through the pains; massage your back, sing songs, play music, you name it he’s done it. But now that your contractions have gotten worse, it was HE who was crumbling under the pain because you had his lyre-plucking fingers in a vice grip. When it was finally time for you to start pushing, your grip on his fingers got even tighter and when you started screaming, he started screaming too.
“Keep pushing! I can see the head!” Your midwife, Babara, shouted. Looking down at your vagina was a huge mistake because all he could see was his child’s head crowning.* He felt the blood rush from out his head and before he knew it, he fainted.
By the time Venti regains consciousness he was laying in a cot next to your bed with you cooing at the newborn in your arms. He scoots closer to you and stares in awe at the tiny human. “We made that?!” “Mmhmm.” Upon further inspection of his baby, the bard points and laughs at them, “they have a conehead!” You rolled your eyes and chuckled, “of course they have a cone head. Their skulls aren’t fused together and the force of me pushing them out my vag caused them to look like that. Should go away in a couple days or so.”  
Your partner nodded and sat quietly as he watched his child sleep in your arms. It wasn’t long until you followed your child’s lead and fell into a deep slumber. Looking at the two of you, not once did he ever think his life would end up this way but now that he has you both, he wouldn’t trade it for anything, not for all the wine and apples in the world.
It happened unexpectedly. Whenever you and Albedo fooled around, neither of you used contraception because why would you? He’s a homunculus shooting blanks… Or so you both thought. When you had an intense episode of nausea and vomiting, you both immediately came to the conclusion of morning sickness. But that couldn’t be right, could it? After confirming the pregnancy with the Deaconess and healer Barbara, you both left the church in a state of shock.
Life had taken shape in your womb and you were carrying his child. The alchemist’s mind had briefly wondered if you cheated on him but he immediately cast that thought aside. Because he knows without a shadow of a doubt that you love him and, logically, he also knows that he was the only person you interacted with during the time of its conception. As a result, during the antepartum* period of your pregnancy, it came as no surprise to you that Albedo treated you as part fragile glass and part guinea pig. Moving his research to your apartment, he dedicated most of his time to looking after you and reading as many books on pregnancy as possible.
Thus, when the time finally comes for you to give birth, your husband was more than prepared. The delivery room that was once filled with your screams and cries, now echoes the shrill cries of your baby. Barbara vigorously wipes the vernix off the newborn.  
“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord, Albedo?” Barbara asks. “Yes, I would.” Handing him the scissors, Albedo makes an astounding discovery. Looking upon his newborn's belly just above their navel, he sees a yellow diamond marking just like the one on his neck. He put his hand over his mouth to keep himself from gasping but a tear does escape from one of his eyes. 
He successfully created life from nothing and it was beautiful.
*10 cm - the cervix needs to be fully dilated and effaced (thinned & shortened) in order to give birth. If you start pushing before the cervix is dilated, you could cause a tear in the cervix. 
*vernix - newborns are covered in a film-like coating of shedded skin cells and oils that protect baby’s skin
*Crowning - newborn’s head emerging from the vaginal canal
*antepartum - AKA prenatal. Time of pregnancy before birth. 
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galaxysiegefics · a day ago
Bat Family Fluff Head Canons
Part 1 of ???
Trigger Warnings:
Description: These are just head canons I have about some of the bat boys and how I believe they’d treat Y/N in a relationship (featuring aged up Damian) ! Let me know if you want another part or if you would like me to add someone else to my next list! Please do enjoy. Love you all- J <3
Bruce Wayne
- He would pester Alfred for hours, telling him about what you enjoy eating and the wine that you like to drink as well as your dislikes when it comes to flavor profiles. Bruce just wants everything to be perfect for you.
- Bruce Wayne would totally be the type to coordinate color matched outfits for Galas and dinner parties alike! Tell me he wouldn’t want to match his pocket square and tie to whatever you’re wearing!!
- Imagine him being nervous to introduce you to Damian. He’d practically be sweating bullets, just praying to whatever higher power that may exist that he’ll just like you for some reason.
- He’d absolutely be sending gifts to you at work... most of the time he would be too busy to deliver flowers, chocolates, or lunch to you himself. However, this wouldn’t stop him from writing sweet notes for you to go with them.
- Bruce is very uptight. He would constantly worry about your safety being Batman and Bruce Wayne. There’s never a time where he isn’t the target of someone awful. That being said, he would legitimately pay someone to follow you around and make sure you get home safe.
- Late nights at the manor would include peace and tranquility, mahogany and leather scented candles, faint smells of Alfred getting meal prep done, and often times a warm drawn bath with fragrant bubbles and oldies playing on a record player.
Dick Grayson
- He’d play with your hair while you lean into him. Sure, his eyes may be trained on case file after case file... but he’d 100 percent be longing to put his work down to give you his full attention.
- This is going to sound like a joke but every time you comment on how much cake this man has, he would just blush to the point where he could be confused for Red Hood.
- Dick tries to make you eat healthy. He’d try to sneak beets and carrots into your smoothies or drop protein powder in your chocolate milk. You quickly learn to not leave him unsupervised in the kitchen... What an abomination.
- He would leave a shirt at your flat every time he came to visit in hopes that you’d take it upon yourself to wear it and send him a sneaky text later.
- You would have to deal with him being as stubborn as a mule during arguments. He likes to argue... Not in a toxic way, he just enjoys exercising his brain with debates. Grayson finds it insanely hot when you get all smart with him so sometimes he tries to egg you on.
- He comes over super late most nights after patrol. You start leaving your window unlocked and he’s stealthy enough to not shake you from your sleep while he lays down beside you and gently snakes his arms around you. In the morning when you wake up, it’s nearly always a surprise to wake to his soft breathing against your hair.
Jason Todd
- Jason gives the best hugs the world has ever seen. He’s warm, strong bodied, and often times smells good... Unless he doesn’t smell good and then he smells awful. More often than not though, he smells like tobacco, rosemary, mint gum, and nitroglycerin from his long nights on patrol. Imagine the most comforting, full body, bear hug, in human history.
- He appears to be a total bad boy until he starts quoting dead Victorian authors to profess his love for you. People don’t tend to realize it, but he’s a huge nerd with an affinity for literature. If you were in college he’d offer to write your essays for you because he can whip them out in no time.
- Alright, but imagine opening any beverage that he brings with him that has a screw top and just being hit in the face with the pungent smell of vodka or whisky at any given time through out the day. Jay wouldn’t even be slightly ashamed.
- You would definitely wake up at like 3 am to juvenile text messages such as: “ I miss dat glorious bum” or “Sorry I couldn’t make it tonight. Apparently shooting the criminals in their knees so that they can’t run away with a 10 mm TMP is largely frowned upon by everyone but me.”
- Once a week you would have to intervene in some dumb fight he’d get into with Dick or Tim. Sometimes it makes you wonder if you signed up to have a boyfriend or an angsty teenage son. 
- Jason would be the worst possible influence. When he had nights off he would keep you out until 4 am, cruising around the city on his motorcycle, hitting up dive bars that don’t card, and chain smoking cigarettes until he wanted to puke... He never actually got sick but he’d totally complain about a stomach ache when you two made it back to your place.
Tim Drake
- Tim would totally be awkward as hell when you first get together. At first, he’d be afraid to offend you with too much PDA, and even in private he’d keep a loose hold on you, worried he’d be too suffocating and you’d get sick of him.
- He would make cheesy playlists of your favorite songs so that he could think of you while he works. Tim would be drinking his coffee at midnight, Spotify full blast in his ear buds, staring at a screen of binary numbers whilst sitting in a dark room... and he wonders why his eyesight is getting bad. Curse that blue light!
- He’d adore laying across you, face down into the mattress so that every word that left his mouth was a muffled mess. No, he does not care how warm it is. It could be 90 degrees and his favorite place would still be laying sprawled across your stomach or back.
- Sometimes, when he would get too immersed in his work and worried about you needing attention, Drake would pull you up into his lap and let you lean your head into his chest while he kept typing away on his desk top.
- Once a week he tried his absolute hardest to make sure you guys had a date night. Sometimes you would go out for malted milk shakes, other times you would catch a movie together, and if neither of you really felt like going out, you would stay behind and the two of you would build a blanket fort and cuddle for hours until finally falling asleep.
-Tim always has the worst puns... but you don’t tell him about how awful they are in fear that it would crush his soul. He’d remain proud that his “pick up lines” were what made you choose him out of anyone else... I’m sure it goes without saying that his flirtatious jokes were not his selling point to you.
Damian Wayne
- Sometimes the way he looks at you makes you wonder if he’s contemplating how to kill you or if he’s completely immersed in your beauty. It’s usually the latter, he just has a resting bitch face.
- Play fighting would be a huge part of your bonding together. Damian would take any opportunity he could when the two of you are alone to pick you up and toss you on the bed, wrestling you while you writhe beneath him. Sometimes, you could even get him to chuckle.
- Even before you start dating, he would ask to draw you as a reference (not in a weird way). He has your features memorized and finds absolutely every detail of you stunning. It’s very rare that he shows you his art, but you must admit that he does you justice.
- Damian is much less snobby and hot headed around you. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still very cocky, but the idea of embarrassing himself in front of you sounds like the end of the world to him. Whenever you’re around, it’s a breath of fresh air for his family. (especially Alfred)
- Secretly, he loves the pet nicknames you give him. A good fraction of the time he just goes “tch” or rolls his eyes but on the inside, he is absolutely melting. You know this because as soon as he’s done being sassy, he wants to hold you and never let go.
- Damian Wayne is the KING of jealousy. If you even look at Dick or Jason for a little too long- you don’t love him anymore. You talk about something you used to do with your ex? Well, he obviously isn’t good enough for you and he should just give up. Your dog or cat gets to lay in your lap but Damian doesn’t? “Well why can’t I be comfortable too?”
FIN... for now.
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captain-kinda-trash · 2 days ago
Would it be okay to ask for a bimbo ish reader who's super girly and puts stickers on the turtles shells or brings them sweet drinks from Starbucks? 🥺💕💓💓 and she loveees the color pink and all pastels!!
Pink (Bayverse! Turtles x hyperfem! slight bimbo! Reader)
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the boys are constantly questioning how they scored such a sweet friend like you
sure, april being a mutual friend was certainly helpful
especially since she lived adjacent to your cozy apartment complex
the one with a fluffy pastel blue welcome mat and incense that smells like various coffee flavors floating through the door anytime it’s opened 💞
but introductions were just so stunningly different than they had expected...
when you met them, with april and casey’s company on the roof of an abandoned warehouse, they had expected everything but your brightly colored clothes and an even brighter awe-filled grin that you just couldn’t wipe off of your face
you and mikey clicked first
within the first 10 minutes of being in each other’s company, it was all bright laughter and playful flirting and showing him pictures of your puppy, who he was hoping you’d let him hold eventually~
for once, leo was glad his little brother was so forward
the others warmed up soon enough, sooner than april and casey could have ever imagined
first, raph, when you had brought him brightly colored yarns for his knitting projects, and he just stared at you in fascination with his jaw on the floor while you excitedly skipped away 🥰
then donnie, not far behind after you brought coffee over for the first time and happily set it on his desk and quietly let him continue his work
lastly was the eldest brother, leo who approached you himself with the slight envy of his younger siblings getting your sweet affection and casually sparked up a conversation about face care routines
your warm aura just brings a smile to their face [3
any time you walk into the room, all sour moods disappear, replaced with vanilla-scented perfumes and heels clicking across the floor, and a whole new pastel-colored outfit that they get to study with curiosity
they’ve never seen a person who was the word ‘optimism’ personified, but there you stand, excited to tackle them in hugs and fill their hearts with enough fuzziness to make a faux rug
the boys, raph especially, appreciate when you come over with drink carriers of Starbucks, usually with their designated orders that you have down to a tee
that just makes them the happiest turtles to ever exist
leo loves all of their teas or matcha drinks, as long as they're warm, since the cold ones make his teeth hurt
(You always get extra strawberries in his, he likes the texture?)
Any iced, sweet drinks for mikey, no matter the weather, which isn’t really a surprise to anyone
donnie isn't particularly picky with his, as long as it’s got caffeine in it. he’s always open to try something different, and will often ask you to grab more than one so he’s got something new
raph likes warm drinks, preferably sweet since downing something bitter leaves a bad taste in his mouth
you’re also constantly restocking on so many stickers, which they get unexplainably thrilled for~
puffy stickers, holographic ones, any with bright colors, you’ve purchased online or at a fun craft store
it’s like a guilty pleasure to you, a perfectly sweet habit whenever you see a pack of them, it’s a must buy
that’s exactly why they’re constantly finding stickers all over the lair, and themselves, an indicator that you’ve been there at some point recently
all over the workout equipment are pastel rainbows, cute kittens, pride flags, which all make raph smile uncontrollably
you give leo the puffy stickers, mostly or ones with little inspirational quotes on them, because they’re his favorite to look at and touch
don gets all of the meme stickers, because he just deserves it (3
he keeps them above his bed to chuckle at in his spare time, and won’t let anyone else see
mikey gets the super bright and also limited edition ones so that he can keep them on his hoverboard and a few on his nun-chucks
on countless occasions raphael’s caught his brothers snickering at the back of his shell, only to discover your signature mark of flower and smiley face stickers scattered across the back :)
he wears them with pride, that king <3 👑
leo consistently wakes up with little red and pink hearts all over his biceps 💕
raph and mikey love giving free piggyback rides to you, and you only
probably april too~
any other human will be promptly turned down 💀
especially casey or vern, who are incredibly jealous
donnie loves watching your precise concentration while you do your makeup and hair, trying to understand how you have the patience for something that seems so unimportant to him
they let you have self care and face mask days with them and just eat up all of the pampering <333
those poor boys deserve every second and who better to ask than their expert friend?
and you bet they’ll let you paint their nails as well
you have all the colors
splinter may also participate and let you put some of his loose fur into mini piggy tails <333
you're always buying matching, pastel-colored accessories for the five of you
fun scarves, friendship bracelets, necklaces you name it!
and they all swell at the excited smile on your face everytime
raph especially loves the heart sunglasses that you got him to match yours, and it makes them all the more meaningful because it’s ‘just your thing’ (3
friendship bracelet making!!!!
it's fun because they have to make yours extra small and you have to make theirs extra big 😂💕💕
these boys love you and your energy
you’re the first human that’s made them feel like they're normal; like they’re human <33
thank you guys for reading!!!! <33 and thank you @mysticbear21 for the request lovely! it was so much freakin' fun to write!!
people who might enjoy!
[@raphsgrl @turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @thelaundrybitch @raphaelsrightarm @well-its-not-human-anymore @rheawritesforfun @post-apocalyptic-daydream @imthegreenfairy88 @aurora-the-kunoichi @angelicdavinci @raisin-shell ]
Love y'all!! Lemme know what you thought and reblog please!!! <333
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softpedropascal · a day ago
Going The Distance: Scene Four - We Need to Talk
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Pairing: Javi Gutiérrez x Film Assistant F!Reader x Dieter Bravo
Words: 3k
Chapter warnings: Arguments, a kiss, drinking, masturbation
**The overall rating of this fic ranges from Mature to Explicit.
Summary: You give the guys an ultimatum, forcing them to talk to each other about whatever is going on.
[javi g masterlist][dieter masterlist]
[GTD masterlist]
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Dieter thought about knocking on your door, but thought better of it. He needed to get his feelings in check before trying to talk to about exactly why Javi was leaving your room. You would probably tell him that it was none of his business, and you would be right, but part of him wanted to know. Maybe if you broke his heart enough he would get over you and the stupid schoolboy crush he had. He went to bed angry that night which was never a good thing.
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On set the next day, everyone was in a panic because one of the actress had come down with a stomach bug and couldn’t do her scenes with Dieter. You listened to the director complain and complain without letting you get a word in edgewise.
“Sir, I’m—”
“This just had to happen now?!” he shouted just as Dieter walked onto the set.
“What had to happen now?” Dieter asked, looking at you while also checking to see if you had any hickeys or love bites. Of course, you were smart enough to make sure they would be hidden from prying eyes.
“Dieter! Did you hear me? The actress is sick so now the director here is having a meltdown,” you told him.
“Doesn’t take much for this guy, huh?” Dieter teased.
“Wait?!” the director shouted and you both jumped.
“What?” you wondered.
He pointed at you and you immediately began shaking your head.” Oh, no, I don’t think so.”
“You can do it! You know the script as well as anyone else. Probably better than he does,” he nodded at Dieter.
“Hey!” he said, pouting.
“Sir…it’s a uh…it’s a kissing scene,” you said, lowering your voice.
“I don’t see a problem,” Dieter said excitedly. You looked around and played with your fingers nervously. “Are you worried Javi will see? Worried that he won’t wanna play house with you if he sees you kiss me?”
“What the fuck are you even talking about?!” you snapped.
“There! Use that anger,” the director yelled. “It’s an angry kiss, a passionate kiss. One of those ‘I hate that I love you’ type kisses.”
“Great,” you sighed.
“I don’t think she can do it,” Dieter simpered.
“I can so!” You shoved him before snatching the dog-eared copy of the script from the director.
“It’s page—” Dieter started.
“I know what page it is!” you snapped before storming away. You practiced the lines angrily as Dieter made his way over.
“I bet if it I was Javi you would be fine with kissing me,” he sniped.
“Why do you keep bringing him up?!”
“I saw him leaving your room last night,” he said. “And you don’t have to tell me what happened.”
“Excuse me…” You threw the script down and glared at him. “Is that what you think of me?”
“Those drugs are really fucking up your head,” you snapped and his anger turned into sadness.
“Fuck you, man,” he said sadly and walked away.
“Fuck you too!” You picked up the script. “Let’s get this done and over with!” You shouted and everything went quiet.
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You got through the lines just fine but the kiss was harder than you expected. The anger was there, the pain was there, but the kiss…You were so angry you hesitated. Hesitated until Dieter initiated the kiss by pulling you against him roughly and kissing your lips. Your anger seemed to melt away as he crushed his lips to yours and slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your hands came up and raked through his hair just as the director yelled cut. You both backed away from each other slowly, breathing heavily.
“Is that all you need from me?” you asked the director quietly.
“Yes. Thanks.”
You only nodded and turned away only to spot Javi standing there just watching. He was stoic so you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. You walked up to him and waved awkwardly.
“Hi,” you mumbled.
“I thought you said you were not an actress,” Javi said.
“I’m not.”
“Then what was that?” He nodded towards the set.
“They…they just needed me to fill in for the actress. She’s sick,” you told him.
“I see.”
“Hey, listen, do you think you can tell Dieter that nothing happened between us. He saw you—”
“I saw you leaving her room last night,” Dieter said as he walked up behind you.
“And? Whatever happened is none of your business,” Javi said confidently.
“Wait, no…don’t—” You started.
“You don’t even know her!” Dieter growled.
“You think you deserve her because you do know her? You would not even know how to treat her!” Javi moved closer and you stood in his way, putting a hand on his chest.
“You don’t know a thing about me.” Now Dieter moved closer and you put a hand on his chest.
“Guys…” You pushed against them but they wouldn’t budge.
“I have the urge to punch you in your perfect fucking face,” Dieter said through his teeth.
“You do that and my men will be on you in a matter of seconds,” Javi threatened.
“Sounds like fun,” Dieter responded with a smirk.
“GUYS!” you shouted, finally getting them to look at you. “That is enough! I have had to up to here!”
You held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear it. You two need to talk. Until you do, I don’t want either of you to utter a single word to me. Fix…this.” You shoved them both and walked away. “Men…”
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The two men stood there watching you walk away. Neither of them wanted to speak first. Dieter only mumbled something and walked into the house with Javi hot on his heels.
“Do not follow her,” he said. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“She doesn’t wanna talk to you either, Mr. Perfect. I wasn’t even…following her,” Dieter lied. “I just need a drink.”
“What we need to do is talk,” Javi said, following Dieter to the small bar. He watched as Dieter grabbed a small glass then put it down just to grab an entire bottle of whiskey.
“There’s nothing to talk about, man,” Dieter walked around Javi.
“Do you not want her to speak to us anymore? I know I would hate that,” Javi said.
“Sure you would especially after last night, huh?”
“Nothing happened. I went to her room to tell her something.” Javi moved into Dieter’s path. “I am telling the truth.”
Dieter took a deep breath before asking the next question. “Who the hell do you think you are, man? You come in here and sweep her off her feet and try to steal her away from me…” He shook his head.
“Steal her away? She is not yours,” Javi pointed out.
“She is mine!...I mean…my friend. She is my friend and we come here and now she hardly spends time with me because of you.” Dieter pointed at Javi then walked around him, twisting the cap off the bottle of whiskey before taking a few gulps.
“I am not doing a thing. She is a woman with her own mind. She could always tell me stop or to give her space, but she hasn’t. I am trying to make sure she gets the attention she deserves because while you all film here, most of her time is spent on other people. She deserves some time enjoying herself. That is all I’m trying to do,” Javi finished.
“I can’t lose her,” Dieter said sadly.
“You love her, don’t you?” Javi asked and Dieter laughed bitterly.
“Why would I tell you? All you’re gonna do is tell me about how much I don’t deserve her.” Dieter sat down and drank from the bottle again. “I know I'm not good enough for her…”
Javi sighed and sat beside the other man. “So you love her then?”
“Of course I do…more than anything.” Dieter sighed and held the bottle out to Javi but he put his hand up.
“No, thank you.” Javi cleared his throat and sat back on the couch. “Have you told her?”
“Are you fucking crazy? Besides, she doesn’t date actors,” Dieter said in a mocking way then scoffed. “She could never like someone like me. You, on the other hand…”
“What about me?”
“You’re perfect,” Dieter said. “Don’t let that go to your head though. I guess…I’m jealous of you and how you make her smile. You show her all these new things she hasn’t seen or done before.”
“You make her smile too. I’ve seen it. You two are so playful and familiar to each other.” Javi nodded then sighed. “May I ask you something?”
“Why not?” Dieter huffed.
“What was it like…kissing her?” Javi looked at Dieter eagerly.
Dieter shook his head. “Oh, man, like heaven on earth. Her lips are super soft, just like I knew they would be. And her taste…I dunno…it’s something special.” He closed his eyes, then smiled.
“That sounds very nice.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t real. I mean, it was, but it was only for a scene. It didn’t mean anything. Not to her, at least.” Dieter swallowed another mouthful of whiskey.
“How do you know that?” Javi asked.
“Because she likes guys like you.” Dieter gestured to him.
“She could also like guys like you.” Javi shrugged.
“Doubt it. Besides, she probably hates me by now. She’s pretty pissed at the both of us, and I hate when she’s mad…”
“Are you boys playing nice?” you asked as you walked over to where they both sat. Javi stood quickly, and Dieter sat up straight.
“We are talking like you wanted us to,” Javi answered. You looked down at Dieter who was still sitting.
“Ever heard of a glass?” you teased with a smile.
Dieter chuckled and held up the bottle. “This is a glass, sweetheart.”
You rolled your eyes. “Of course. Javi…how are you?”
“I am well,” he said with a smile.
“What now?” Dieter asked.
“Now I wanna know what the problem is between you two.” You pointed at them and they both gave you an awkward look.
“Well…it is you,” Javi said and Dieter’s eyes widened.
“Oh…” you said quietly.
“Not in a bad way,” Javi started. “It’s just…you seem to have us both under a spell.”
“I see.” You shook your head and looked at both men. “Well, what can I do?” you asked.
“You don’t have to do anything, babe,” Dieter cut in. “It’s not your fault we can only think with one head at a time.”
“That is not what we said at all,” Javi corrected. “We are both attracted to you. That’s it.”
“I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I hope neither of you feels like I’m leading you on or anything.”
“Not at all, my dear.” Javi walked over and took your hand and Dieter rolled his eyes.
“Look, I’m pretty sure you already knew how I felt about you,” Dieter pointed out. It was true but you never mentioned anything about it. You didn’t date or even sleep with the actors you worked with. “But I know how you feel about actors.”
“And you hardly know me so my feelings probably do not matter to you,” Javi added. You were beginning to feel overwhelmed. You closed your eyes but you still couldn’t think clearly.
“Are you trying to tell me that I have to choose?” you asked.
“What? No,” Javi said, squeezing your hand.
“I mean…” Dieter shrugged.
You took your hand from Javi’s. “I…I have to go.” You walked away without looking back.
“What the hell was that?” Dieter snapped at Javi.
“I was only being honest. Should we go after her?” he asked.
“No. We gotta give her space,” Dieter suggested.
“You are right,” Javi agreed and sat back down. “We will give her space.”
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You could only lie in bed and think about what Javi told you. It was you. I mean, you had sensed that they both had felt something for you, but you never wanted to be the source of their hostility towards one another.
You sighed and squeezed your pillow a little tighter. What were you supposed to do? There was no way you were choosing one or the other. They both meant something special to you. It wasn’t strange. You did find yourself getting attached to people easily. Dieter meant a lot to you even if he was a little annoying at times and Javi, well, he meant something to you even after such a short time. There was something about him.
Both men had traits that you loved—traits that made it impossible to choose who you liked more. Was it wrong to like both at the same time? It wasn’t like you were sleeping with either of them and you probably never would. That’s not to say it hadn’t crossed your mind. It was especially true today after Dieter kissed you. You had to remind yourself that it was only for a movie and you were just a stand in. And Javi was unbelievably gorgeous. He exuded a sexual energy that you had never felt before even though he wasn’t necessarily trying to. It had been a while for you though. Maybe that’s why you were thinking of both men that way.
“Arg!” you screamed into your pillow. Why couldn’t things just be easy for you?
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Dieter listened quietly through the connecting door but didn’t hear a thing except for an angry growl. He thought of knocking and asking if you were okay but he couldn’t face you right now.
He laid down with a sigh and closed his eyes. Deep down he knew that if it came down to it, you would choose Javi. He didn’t stand a chance against a man like that. Hell, even he thought Javi was hot.
Urgh…he had to think of something else before he made himself sad.
The kiss. Yes.
He smiled slyly remembering how soft your lips were, how you tasted against his tongue. He touched his lips, dragging his fingers across them slowly.
“Fuck,” he whispered, palming himself through his boxers. “Kiss me again, babe.” He puckered his lips and imagined your lips on his again. “Just like that…” He slipped his hand into his boxers and stroked himself until he was rock hard.
“You see what you do to me,” he moaned before lifting his hips to get his boxers down just enough to get his dick out. “I want you.”
He imagined you saying you wanted him too. He bit his lip as he stroked himself faster. This wasn’t the first time he’s done this to the thought of you.
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You had to talk to one of them, at least, and since Dieter was closest it would have to be him first.
You rolled out of bed and walked to the connecting door. You heard a noise but figured it was just Dieter up to some shenanigans as always so you pushed the door open only to find him spread eagle on the bed touching himself. You nearly gasped out loud but clapped a hand over your mouth and closed the door until it was open just a crack.
Then you heard it—your name. He moaned your name. He was thinking of you while he touched himself.
You tiptoed back to your bed and tried to pretend you couldn’t hear him but it was so obvious. You discovered that Dieter was not a quiet man.
“Ah, fuck baby! Yeah!” he groaned.
“Damn…” you whispered.
He moaned your name again before loudly proclaiming that you were going to make him cum.
Part of you told you to cover your ears but part of you was desperate to keep listening. He groaned your name loudly and you assumed he had hit his peak.
“There it is…there it fucking is, sweetheart. Ahhhh look at that,” he moaned.
Why was that so fucking hot?
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Dieter breathed heavily and looked down at the mess on his stomach. “Shit,” he huffed. It was then and only then that he noticed the door was open. Was it open before? He shrugged and sat up on the bed awkwardly, trying to ignore the strange sensation of his cum cooling on his stomach, drying in some spots.
He walked to the bathroom and cleaned himself up. It was just about time for dinner so he thought he’d ask if you wanted to walk down together.
“Hey,” he said as he pushed the door open slightly. You sat up quickly and looked at him. “You okay?”
“Y-Yeah…fine…” you said, unable to look at him directly.
“Wanna walk down to dinner together?” he asked.
“Okay.” You scooted to the end of the bed and Dieter joined you so that you both walked out of the room together.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dieter asked, eyeing you suspiciously.
“I’m fine.”
“Why won’t you look at me then?” He nudged you playfully.
“I don’t know,” you laughed. You finally looked up at him and immediately felt your face getting hot. “See? I’m looking.” You noticed how his eyes flicked down to your lips.
You both walked in silence to the staircase where Javi waited.
“May I walk with you both?” he asked.
“Of course,” you said. You noticed Javi looked a little out of sorts. His curls weren’t as neat as usual and there was something different about his demeanor. “Did you just get out of bed or something?” you teased.
“What?” Javi turned his head quickly to look at you.
“Whoa…I was only joking. Your hair is just a little…” You reached up and began fixing his curls as best as you could. He looked directly at you, his eyes boring into your very soul. “Th-There…that’s better, hm?”
“Yes, thank you,” he mumbled although he couldn’t see it.
“Dinner time, gentlemen.” You hooked your arms onto one of theirs so that they were on either side of you. Both men looked at each other then at you before looking ahead. Dinner was going to be quite interesting.
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the-nerd · 2 days ago
I'm bored
So an idea I had was this joke about interracial couples and food and then my head did clic: willow is the daughter of an Asian-African couple( I think they mention somewhere that she was from Korea) and then I imagine that their food must be full of spices and spicy.
And then we have Hunter, whose progenitor is an English pilgrim, whose strongest spice is salt.
Willow: why I can't taste the food? Oh! Right I married a white man.
Meanwhile Hunter is cooking something with no flavor at all.
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lxs3rrp3arlyn · a day ago
Sharing dorms with them + their confessions!
Writer's notes: hey hey, I'm so sorry this took a while, I've been quite busy at school and I've been procrastinating, forgive me 😭😭 I know I meant to write for more female characters, but this one has more male characters since I had more ideas for them 💀💀- but do note that the school au might become a series and I might add more themes + write for more characters :P I also hope that everyone has been doing great and coping well out there! <3 I hope my fanfics could at least make your day better 😹😹
School AU + confessions
Xiao, Venti, Hu Tao, Kazuha and Albedo - x reader (individually)
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Ok, living in the same dorm as this guy?? How is it like to live one of my dream 😹😹
When you first met him, the first thing that came to your mind was emo. I mean. I would too.
You guys never really talk but when you start getting closer to him, you’ll find out that he’s such a softie, a tsundere in fact!
I would shit tears if I saw him come out of the bathroom with his hair wet…… that shit must’ve been so breath-taking (STOP THIS WAS ME BACK IN FEBRUARY I WAS SUCH A SIMP FOR XIAO 💯💯)
He cooks your meals sometimes
Generally a really cool person to share a dorm with, as long as you’re nice to him, he’ll eventually open up <3
Your roommate seemed to be a cold person. He was never seen hanging out around other people and he was mostly alone. When you found out you had to share dorms with him, you thought you would have a tough year. You were wrong. So wrong. 
Xiao looked cold and aloof, but he’s honestly a really sweet guy once you get to know him. That one time when you woke up late for school, there was breakfast on the table made by Xiao. “You woke up late, again. My classes don’t start at this hour today so I thought I could make you a simple breakfast to have on the way.” He states, passing a sandwich wrapped neatly in a paper bag along with your favourite coffee. His hair was in a mess and his voice sounded different… It was like it was his morning voice… Wait. Did he just wake up? Was he worried that you overslept and made breakfast to save your ass? You were about to ask him when the door slammed on your face. You couldn’t help but to grin and laugh to yourself. 
Xiao is also a really big tsundere. Like seriously. The other time you were out with another classmate and he saw you flirting with them and he obviously did not seem to be enjoying it. He was frowning and pouting throughout. When you got home though, that was when his true emotions started to show. He pulled you to the couch with him and started cuddling with you. “Xiao… are you… jealous?” you teased. He said nothing in return, face however, turning as red as a tomato. 
“Y-you! Fine… whatever. Just stay like this for a while, Y/N. And… I love you."
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HE’S MINE STAY AWAY. /j we can share him, Venti simps and enthusiasts are welcome here <3
He’s definitely a class clown. Or he got popular because of his musical talent.
“Oh hey y/n, ah ah ah, watch the lyre on the ground, don’t step on my precious baby!”
He’s the background music in your pair work. It’s not pair work anymore it’s just you on your own while he plays on his stupid little lyre. 
“Oh? Contribute? To what? I’ve contributed enough by playing music! Now, focus, or we’re both failing! What? You won’t do it if I don’t join you? Fine, I'll do my part then!”
Going to 7-Eleven stores at 3 am at night is pretty normal with him. He either never sleeps, or sleeps like a pig.
He’s probably the worst roommate you could get. He scores full marks for entertainment but he’s basically useless when it comes to homework or helping around the dorm. He won’t help with the cooking or housework. >:( But he’s cute so you forgive him <3
Your roommate is an energetic person. He gets annoying every now and then, but he’s still a really nice person. He was well known in school for his musical talent and he often performs during special events. When you found out you were going to share  a dorm with him, you had mixed feelings. It was great that you were sharing with someone like him, but he seemed to have no concern about cleanliness or hygiene, whatsoever. 
Venti often goofs around and doesn’t think much about the consequences. You thought he was funny though, no doubt. He’d often crack a silly joke that would make you laugh so much your stomach hurt. He’s sometimes a responsibility and you often have to nag at him before he helps out or does his homework. “Venti! This assignment is graded! Stop fooling around and complete it!” “What assignment was that again? H-Hey! Why are you taking off your slipper and holding it up like that- Ow! Wait, have mercy!” He’d often play on his lyre when you were relaxing. (At least he’s thoughtful..) He never cooks or helps out in the dorm. You have to do all the work for him. His room was a mess, clothes would be scattered everywhere on the floor, even his precious lyre would be on the ground. 
Venti is also a prankster. You should not be surprised to find tons of fake spiders hiding in his drawer collecting dust. (He’s waiting for the chance to prank you <3) You knew he could be rather poetic and romantic, but you never expected him to be that foolish.
The clock displayed large numbers. 2:24 am. Why was Venti not back yet? You knew he went for a huge party that Childe invited everyone to but you didn’t go for it since you weren’t feeling too well. Suddenly the door slammed open with Venti stumbling in. “Heyy~ I’m baaack….” You gasped. Venti did not look well. How did he even manage to find his way back? “Were you out betting with Kaeya, again? Venti, I told you multiple times not to drink so much just to prove you’re better! Look at the state of yourself!” You said, pulling him to his bedroom. 
“Y/N…” He said as you helped him onto his bed. You handed him a glass of water and helped him drink. “Thaank you~ Ugh, Y/N! You look especially blurry tonighttt…” He slurs as he grabs on your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Your breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath against your skin. “Venti… Please… lie down…” You said, flustered. “Hey… Y/N? I… I love you so muchhh… please cuddle with me tonight…” He slurs on his words, pulling you together with him to lie on his bed. You were facing his sleepy face, only centimetres apart. Wait. Did he just confess to you? You got up and threw a pillow at him. “You dumbass! Confess to me when you’re not drunk! Go to sleep!” You stumbled out of his bed and you were about to leave the room when you felt his hand grip onto your wrist. 
“Y/N… Please… at least sleep with me tonight…”
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Hu Tao!
She’s basically Venti, but better. I bet her room would be cleaner at least.
She’ll annoy you until you pay attention to her
Horror movies and horror games. She loves to see you getting frightened out of your guts as you grab onto her arm in fear.
Prankster. If you get scared easily, you’d be doomed.
She probably scores mostly D’s in class…
I like to headcanon that she’s actually pretty good at art. It’s just the art she produces is unique… and scary….
She would cook sometimes, and her cooking often looks suspicious and tastes odd, but you still consume it either way, because you’re such an amazing friend. (Spoilers, you'll be stuck in the toilet for the next couple of days)
She may goof around often but she’s always in your back on call and she’s really loyal.
Study sessions with her would turn into dumb conversations about your classmates and teachers.
Dark jokes or dumb ones that make you want to beat her up
A really fun roommate to have, she’s loyal to you and she’s really nice. Treat her well.
Your roommate is a prankster, she enjoys watching your reactions. You’re often on your toes, unknowing of what she’d do next. She can be really sweet though, and she’s really adorable. Nonetheless, she’s one of the popular girls in school. When you found out you were going to share a dorm with you, you had mixed feelings. You were excited for sure, but at the same time you had your doubts, knowing what she’s like.
Hu Tao has an interesting style and sense of humour that usually sends shivers down your spine, but you can tell she’s trying her best to fit in while being herself. She often reads her poems to you and they leave some sort of impression on you, because her poems have… some sort of dark meaning behind them.
She does help around the house a little, not much. She doesn’t cook though. The reason is… very special for her case. Don’t be surprised if she serves you a plate of suspicious looking spaghetti with meatballs decorated to look like eyeballs… (which she has only served once because you fainted at the sight of those ‘meatballs’) She also enjoys pranking you tons, especially by jumpscaring you. You could just wake up to use the washroom and a freaky mask of some sophisticated monster would greet you right after you open the door.
Interestingly enough, though you knew Hu Tao was talented, you never realised how amazing her art is. Though they’re often a display of darker shades like black or mahogany red, her pieces often turn out really pretty. “Hey Y/N, could you grab me a couple of paint brushes from the art room today and pass them to me? Huh, me? Stealing? Who says? Is there a rule that says that students cannot borrow art supplies from the art room for their own personal use?”
You know that Hu Tao would often drag you onto the couch with her to watch really gory horror movies, but you never realise what her true plan was behind all of that. It was about 1 am in the morning when both of you were both huddled together on the couch, eyes glued onto the television. “Tao… this is scaring me…” “Come on Y/N! Just a little longer! This is the part!” You squeezed your eyes shut as you covered your ears and huddled closer to her. You could hear the muffled sounds of the television and Hu Tao’s giggles. You felt her warm hands suddenly grab onto both your wrists and pull them apart from your ears.
“Relax, Y/N. Scoot over if you’re scared, I’m here, you’re not alone. Thank you for watching this movie with me even though you obviously don’t enjoy this genre of movies. I appreciate it and.. Well uh, I know this is an awkward time to say, but I really love you, Y/N.”
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He’s probably one of the popular guys let’s be honest, he’s literally perfect
You were surprised to hear that out of everyone, he was sharing a dorm with you.
(let’s say you had a crush on him, because why else would you be reading this.)
He would cook your meals like the malewife he is.
You loved his cookings, they were usually fish but they tasted amazing and his cooking technique for every meal would be different
Oh god imagine movie nights with him… and he’ll let you lean on his shoulder…. Awww….
Perfect roommate. He’s not messy, respects you, gentleman, sweet, good looking, cooks your meals and even studies with you
Your roommate is soft-hearted. He was good looking and well known in school. You admired him a lot. Many girls swoon over him and you felt as if you were out of his league and thus never tried communicating with him. When you found out that he was going to share dorms with you, obviously you were exhilarated. Your crush, sharing a dorm with you? You’d die for that opportunity!
Kazuha is a true gentleman. He cooks and helps around the house. He even studies with you and treats you nicely. He’s talented in Literature and you wouldn’t be surprised to hear his dulcet voice reading beautiful poems. He usually is the one that cooks your meals, and the dishes often had fish in it. You weren’t complaining though. You loved eating fish, and this was cooked by your crush after all. When studying with him, it always felt refreshing. His voice was calm and soothing, you always felt safe when you listened to him read out some of the notes. Bonus, you got to see his hair down. Which was something no one got to see, other than you. You loved that you got to see sides of Kazuha that nobody could. You felt special.
You know that Kazuha is a romantic person. You’d get jealous over the love letters and poems sent to him by a bunch of girls trying to catch his attention. He’d usually look through them in the living room, and you’d often roll your eyes over the stupid little poems those pink letters with tons of hearts contained. Kazuha was observant and picked that up almost immediately. He laughed lightly. “Y/N? What’s with that reaction? Jealous that you don’t get any love letters? Or upset that I’ve been getting too many love letters but you want my attention?” Your heart stopped. “Me? Oh, no well uh… I…” You just ran off to your room and slammed the door, hiding your face in your hands. Kazuha grinned, much to his amusement.
On the next day when you got back from school, you had the biggest surprise of your life. Kazuha wouldn’t be at the dorm as his classes started later than yours, which means he would be back in about three hours, much to your relief. You did not wish to see him after you’ve embarrassed yourself. You went to your room and shut the door. Slouching on your chair, you sighed. You got up to get food when you noticed a pretty red envelope on your desk. Beside it was your favourite flower and a maple leaf. You grabbed the envelope and took out the letter. You gasped at its contents, turning red.
As these maple leaves fall,
It reminds me of it all,
Gracefully, you entered my life.
And I fell in love at first sight,
But I stayed quiet until that night.
Thank you for opening my eyes.
Let’s soar high in the skies,
With our hands intertwined together.
Allow me to stay with you forever.
And I’ll love you until the end of time.
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Rounded glasses!
He’s probably hella quiet but once you get to know him, it’s pretty fun.
You’re probably his only friend because he practically talks to no one, and he doesn’t just have casual talk with stupid people. (you’re smart in his eyes <3)
3 am study sessions…. Because I said so.
Falling asleep on his lap as he studies is pretty normal
Y'all just eat instant noodles or McDonald's…
He probably never leaves his room, so you camp in there to disturb his busy ass
"Ah Y/N, I assume you have come to annoy me once again, haven't you? Well, don't be shy, make yourself at home. Just don't ruin my experiment, that'd be awful for me to clean up."
He tutors you. If you're terrible at science, like straight up terrible, he's gonna make sure you get on his level in a month or so. He's scary.
Can we talk about Albedo fanart real quick??
Anyways I think he'd be a good roommate. He's not the most entertaining person to be with but he definitely tries his best to make you laugh.
Your roommate is intelligent. He is soft spoken and often locks himself in the laboratory to work on his experiments. You admit, he’s good looking and that made him quite well known in school. There were often people crowding outside the laboratory, eyes glued on him in awe as he worked on his experiments. When you found out that you were sharing a dorm with him, you didn’t really have much of a reaction, you just thought that you two wouldn’t communicate with each other at all.
You were half correct about that. At first, Albedo never leaves his room, you were worried for his sake and you often ordered food for him and placed the meal on his desk whenever it was mealtime. Until one morning, he was the one that came into your room with food in his hands. “Oh, Y/N, I prepared some food for you. I know it’s not the best, but I just wanted to repay you for helping me order all those meals. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be starving until midnight daily.” You glanced at the plate of scrambled eggs with a side of bacon paired along with a scrumptious sandwich. “T-This is for… m-me? I wasn’t expecting this at all… Thank you, Albedo, I really appreciate it.” You smiled as you took the plate in your hands. You were surprised to hear the next thing he said; “I know I don’t ever hang out with others, but you’re always welcome to study with me, just come into my room as you’d like. Also, I would love to get to know you more.” he comments, closing the door gently, leaving you alone to your own thoughts. Albedo? Wanting to be friends? You were punching the air in joy. You just won the attention of someone everyone wants to be close with.
After that day, you’d often barge into his room without consent, lie on his bed and watch him study. He’d often roll his eyes as you do that but he smiles sweetly, he seems to always enjoy your presence whenever you enthusiastically share about your day to him. He would also allow you to lay on his lap whenever he was studying. You also became the only person who could enter the laboratory when he’s occupying it. Of course, many rumours spread that Albedo has a secret lover, and many people were jealous of your friendship with Albedo, but you never took it to heart.
You were laying on Albedo’s lap (as per usual) and you were rambling on about your day and how tired you were. He smiles and laughs lightly, “Y/N? Tired? Sounds like an unusual match, you’re usually very energetic.” You pout at his statement. “Hmph! If you say so, I’ll sleep then! Good night!” You say, eyes fluttering shut. You were dozing off as you heard a muffled giggle and you felt a hand running through your hair.
"Well, it’s been quite a while I’ve been wanting to say this, but I wouldn’t dare to. I love you Y/N. My feelings were there even before we shared dorms and I have always had the urge to talk to you, but I didn’t know how. Are you truly asleep? I wonder. Sweet dreams, Y/N.”
Ahhh okay!!! That took so long to edit and write istg. I'm so sorry once again for my procrastination and slow drive to complete my fanfics 😹😹
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xttxck · a day ago
[nsfw under the cut]
protective!eren beating the shit out of some dude that decided it was a good idea to smack and grab your ass at the bar
protective!eren having to be pulled off of him by like 2 other guys, his shirt's a little ripped and his hair is a mess, but he doesn't care
he hates it when other people look at you too long, let alone have the fucking balls to touch you
and protective!eren makes sure you're okay, even though he's the one that ate a few punches in the process
he'd do it again and again and again
even when his friends make too many jokes around you, making you smile and laugh, protective!eren shoots them the nastiest fucking glare when you're not looking
that's his job
you're all his, there's no room for anyone else
when he's eating you out, protective!eren spits on your pussy and licks a trail up to your clit, keeping eye contact the whole time
he wants you to watch him take care of you
he'll always take care of you
protective!eren likes to ask, "who's pussy is this?" while he's railing you, your legs pushed up against your chest
he knows the answer
but hearing you break down in desperate moans and pleas sends him over the edge every time
"all yours, eren"
damn fucking right
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fictionimitateslife · 2 days ago
The batfandom headcanon that Dick, Bruce and Damian can't cook, while Jason is a genius in the kitchen makes zero sense to me.
Mostly because of their backstory, eating habits and personalities.
Dick and Bruce canonically had to both take care of themselves for certain points of their lives AND are gym rats. Do you guys really think they wouldn't be able to feed themselves some decent healthy food? They might not be able to take care of themselves in other ways, but it makes no sense for them not to be able to cook. Dick is also probably (MUCH) better than Bruce.
Damian "perfectionist" Wayne either got basic cooking training from the league of shadows/his mother or forced himself to learn how to do it once he realized it was a possible weakness of him.
Jason? Is junk food kind of guy, rather than a home meal guy (at least after his ressurection), unless it's Alfred's cooking. Personally, I think that Jason's cooking skills are of that of a kid/teen who learned how to cook to himself in order to survive and never developed those skills when he grew older. First because he thought he would have Alfred to feed him and later on because he just didn't care for his health.
Tim being forbbiden from any kitchen though? That is 100% canon and everybody knows that.
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willel · 2 days ago
Listen. Will and El staring each other down aggressively because there's only 1 Jonathan pancake left.
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incorrectbatfam · a day ago
question, what was the last thing the batfam googled in their incognito tab??
Dick: Olympic games where dude drank rat poison and won
Jason: how to blame arson on someone else
Tim: I don't think I'm straight
Damian: dark web unicorn egg incubator
Duke: mysterious stain appeared on my shirt
Cullen: www.deviantart.com
Stephanie: real life Rickroll for hire
Cassandra: how to sound like a black hole
Barbara: grocery store delivery for a single shrimp
Harper: quinjet engine removal
Carrie: forbidden candy
Kate: help women are all pretty
Alfred: age limit for Build-A-Bear
Selina: reasons to hire a hitman
Bruce: can you unadopt your kids
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stitcheswashere13 · 2 days ago
I've been seeing some very emotional videos of dads holding their newborn for the first time. So I would love to see how the slashers would react to holding their S/O's newborn baby for the first time as a new dad. That would make me cry <:')
Oooo! I found this so cute! Sorry I didn't get to it till today, I was running errands yesterday lol
It includes- Thomas Hewitt, Brahms Heelshire & The Sinclair Brothers
Warnings- Fem! Reader, Crying cute Fluff
My baby
Thomas Hewitt!-
He was handed the baby and he nearly died of just everything
He found the baby so cute, he was so happy, He had tears in his eyes while rocking the baby
He will hold the baby right to his heart, he will never let the baby go. (Its so cute<3)
Brahms Heelshire!-
A baby? my baby? Brahms will be so shocked and so in awe
already starts cuddling and playing with the baby some once he gets to hold it
He is so sweet<3 The baby will be covered in love from Brahms, and Brahms's Smile would be priceless<3 <3 <3
Bo Sinclair!-
He had a hidden teary eye, he was in love<3
his baby? Oh it's going to be spoiled rotten with all the love
He does that little nose kisses thing and makes his fingers walk on the baby's face<3
Vincent Sinclair!-
He is smiling and crying under the mask<3
Vincent Will keep the baby right on his heart, cradling back and forth with little bounces
Vinny would play with the baby's little hands
Lester Sinclair!-
Teary eyes 100% he is just in Awe
He would definitely start calling the baby little nicknames "Awee. My little worm<3" Is the most used
He would play with the baby's face<3
END NOTE!- I Loved writing this lol, Thank you for the request! Requests are open I just won't get to them till Wednesday and some of the posts I got yesterday may be delayed to tomorrow due to me staying a few days at a family place for my Sisters b-day! That's all have a lovely day!
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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 2 days ago
In Leech in the Rain, you mention that the Cullen-Quileute Treaty protects no one at all. Could you elaborate? It’s kind of hilarious in a sad way that one of Carlisle’s greatest accomplishments means nothing but it’s also painfully on brand.
Anon's referring to Leech in the Rain, a fic by myself and @therealvinelle. Caius, specifically, notes to himself that the treaty was worthless and protected no one.
The treaty ensured that the shapeshifters and the Cullens could never effectively work together and as a result never fully defend the territory.
In everyone's defense, when it was designed it was made in such a way that the Cullens themselves were the biggest threats on everyone's mind. Other vampires, of course they're going to kill them if they start eating on their land. It was a compromise of where the shapeshifters would leave them alone and where the Cullens could never step foot as well as consequences for any "accidents" that might occur (if the Cullens bite someone the treaty is null).
Now, this alone does have issues. The Cullens may have abided by the treaty given they make in the 1930's (Rosalie and Emmett are turned already so Carlisle doesn't bite anyone else, Alice and Jasper obviously weren't around yet to abide by the treaty, and Edward's back from his criminal eating voyage). However, we know the Cullens have slipped and... we don't know exactly when that was. Regardless, there's the clear issue that the deaths the shapeshifters don't know about are the deaths the shapeshifters don't know about. It's a... clause in that treaty, is what I'm saying, and one they had little means of enforcing (Jacob even admitting as much, to a point, when it's looking more and more like Bella will be turned).
But back to what Caius was getting at.
What nobody was thinking about, because it doesn't really happen, is "what if a vampire preyed upon our community over a long period of time?"
By having this treaty, where neither can cross certain points of land, and communication between the two parties is almost nonexistent, Victoria can easily escape pursuit, all the damn time, by just crossing over the other side.
The treaty, in other words, all but ensures the vampire in question will be able to escape and they can eat whomever they damn well please. It makes the land they're supposed to protect positively riddled with blind spots that can be taken advantage of.
This is something most of the characters quickly come to recognize in Eclipse as a major problem but... don't want to do anything about for most of the novel.
The treaty became not a means of protecting anyone, but a matter of pride and mutual animosity.
I'll put it like this, it was so bad, that within a few weeks you had the very young and relatively inexperienced shapeshifters realizing that they had to actually cooperate with and talk to the Cullens if they were going to protect anything.
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otp-holic · 21 hours ago
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PRESS CONFERENCE: CLOTHES THAT MATTER. NOTES FROM A JOURNALIST. Captain Steve Rogers enters the press room hand in hand with his husband Sergeant James Barnes, both of them sporting their design for the  "Clothes that matter charity collection". 
It's a faded deep green t-shirt inspired by their service in WWII.
"When they asked us to think about a piece of clothing that meant something, I immediately thought about the faded shirt Bucky was wearing when I found the 107th captive in Austria, because seeing the fabric rhythmically moving over his chest is burned into my memory. It meant that Bucky was alive."
Captain Rogers is visibly moved, and not letting go of Barnes' hand, who remains silent.
“This design is inspired by love, and relief. By finding your home. And that’s what we hope to bring into the lives of those who buy it, and especially, to the ones that will benefit from its sales.”
Steve Rogers talks about their design addressing the room, but it looks like he's speaking just for his husband's ears. They don't seem to notice that they're in the middle of a press room until Barnes gets close to the mic on the table.
"I suggested blue thighs, but I gave up because Summer is coming up. I just hope this is successful enough for a Winter collection. So, please, buy the hell out of these shirts. It's for a very good cause."
For @stuckybingo B5 "Sharing Clothes"
(I don't even know where this came from, I was tired, and then that shirt Chris was wearing reminded me of Bucky's t-shirt in CAFTA.... and when i manip the texture in, it fit SO WELL.. And here I am.)
I chose to leave the tatttoo because in this universe that is a “till the end of the line” one, just so you know!
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dazey-aceie · a day ago
Finished book 2 so got Ruggie on the mind. How about sharing lunch with him? Figure he spent most of his day running errands and for leona and maybe had spell drive pratice. so cue his gn partner sharing food and maybe giving head pats.
Ruggie X Reader: Lunch Break
☁︎ Fluff
⚠︎ Warnings: choking on food
ꕤ Notes: This was such a cute request- 😭 and sorry if it’s a little short, i don’t want to keep repeating the same things so i tried to stay focused and simple lol
! Word count: 460 (i think)
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“Oh come on! Leona's old enough to take care of himself for a couple of hours." You said, picnic basket in hand.
You see, you and Ruggie haven't exactly had alot of time to yourselves. You've had many exams this week, as well as club meets and practices. And your normal lunch breaks were normally cut short due to your lovely idiotic friends.
You love them, but they can be a bit much, especially during lunch.
But besides that, you wanted to spend soe quality time with your boyfriend, is that so much to ask? SO you had it all planned out. Sure it took bribing Grimm, and a couple contracts with Azul, and threatening the Savanaclaw dorm, and maybe sorta kinda putting a extra bit of a calming agent in some of Leona's food so he'll go straight to sleep afterwards, but it was worth it.
And nobody's gotten hurt so you're all good.
Plus, you're sure that Ruggie also needs a break. He's been running around all day chasing after Leona and grabbing him things, as well as causing his own chaos. A little break wouldn't hurt, would it?
Thats what you told him to try to convince him.
"Please, babe?"
His tired face gave you his signature smile as he gave out a laugh, "Sure thing, y/n!" His face was still bright, even with noticeable eye bags beneath his eyes.
He linked his arm with yours as you both made your way to the botanic garden. Normally no one was there at this hour, and Leona was asleep in his room so it would be peaceful.
"Ah! Ruggie slow down you're gonna choke!" You scolded, unable to stay mad at him for long. Ruggie was gulping down food faster than your eyes could keep up to see.
"Sorry y/n, but your cooking’s amazing!"
"I can't take all the credit, Trey helped me out too."
"Thanks to all the chefs!" He grinned.
You leaned your back against the tree behind you, closing your eyes as you took a deep breathe, enjoying the calm. Ruggie, with food still in his mouth took the moment to lay his head on your lap, "Thank you, y/n... I really need this- ACK."
"Ruggie! Don't talk with food in your mouth you idiot! Especially while lying down!" You reached for some water to hand to him, Ruggie shook his head and chugged it.
"You idiot..." You sighed, a smile quickly taking over, as you lowered his head back onto your lap, placing the water beside you. Ruggie let out a sigh of content as you began to run your hands through his hair scratching behind his ears.
"...Thank you... Again... y/n..." And with that, he dozed off.
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requests are open!!
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phantasmiafxndom · 17 hours ago
fingering vil idia azul and riddle?
For all he acts confident, actually being in this position is stressful. There's no way he'll be able to keep up appearances like this, and the thought of being so vulnerable doesn't sit well. Vil tries to restrain his reactions and keep himself composed, but the steady stretch and shocks of pleasure ruin every attempt. He gets bitchy when he's nervous, but as you tell him how pretty he looks gaping around your fingers, that bad attitude is replaced with stunned compliance. He tenses up even inside, so obviously desperate.
Even though he's fantasized about this more times than he can count, actually having you between his legs is terrifying. Idia's convinced he's going to look stupid or do something wrong, and it takes ages to get him to relax. But once you're two fingers in, rubbing over his prostate in slow, firm strokes, he's too scrambled to think about nervousness at all. Idia's the type who can't stop rambling. He squeezes his thighs together for any touch to his aching dick, and sobs when you force them open and keep going.
It starts out with Azul doing his absolute best to act like he's fine. No, he's not nervous! Of course not! But all too soon, the warmth and stretch get to be unbearable. He'll whine for you to slow down, clenching up enough that it really doesn't help. It's not until you hit his prostate that he finally starts to relax, and even then, it's because the spikes of pleasure all but paralyze him. You can tease him a little, but be warned that drawing it out too much will end in stifled tears and a whole lot of shame when you're done.
He's a total baby about it, and so red. Riddle hugs a pillow to his chest while you open him up, whining half-hearted complaints about how cold the lube is and the sting when your first finger slips inside. It doesn't feel bad at all, but he's so tense and flustered that getting defensive is all he really has left. The second finger makes him yelp, and the noise repeats itself, much louder, when you curl them at just the right angle. In no time at all, he's shaking all over, muffling sweet little cries while he trembles.
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acesmadnessworld · 2 days ago
My Hero Academia
Order: Headcanon Word Count: 254 words Genre: Angsty fluff Extras: Shinsou Reacts to accidentally using his quirk against his s/o
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Training was getting harder, switching between classes was hard enough as is
Tests and homework was pushing him harder and harder
Less time was spent with one another, always spent either training with someone or by himself
Only barely brushing past each other during classes was the one point of contact either had with the other
Now it was the weekend, the two days they were supposed to take to try and rest and be kids
But what was Hitoshi doing-
As always
“Shin? Can we talk?” “Can it wait? I’m busy training”
That’s how nearly every effort went when trying to talk to him, always pushing it further to the future
“Shinsou, we need to talk” “Can it wait a bit? I’m going to train with Aizawa”
Same answer but this time different effort
“No, this can’t wait. This is the longest we’ve ever spoken since you started pushing me away. We are going to talk”
The sigh only made the aggravation worse
“Look, I need to train-” “No! You’ve been training for months on end! You’re going to burn yourself out by now”
“I need to train. You don’t understand” “Then help me understand so I can help you!”
“Y/n?” “What-” “Just shut up already!”
Fuck.. the greyish white cover was already there
He didn’t mean it.. He never wanted to use his quirk again after this feeling
The quick release made the feeling of being controlled so odd
“Fuck, I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have done that… I’m sorry..”
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mcytblrconfessions · 2 days ago
Bdubs definitely goes snrrrk mimimi cause he slept his way through season 7 hc and Zedaph probably squeaks like a dog toy
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haleyboook · a day ago
oscar issac dating headcannons?
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Oscar Isaac dating headcanons-
Asked you out privately while the two of you were running lines together
Endless amounts of nicknames for one another
He enjoys leaving doodles and smiley faces and messages on the mirror or door in the shower
Likes to sit on the bed and have a conversation with you when you're either in the shower/bath or doing your makeup
He loves to spin and dance with you in the kitchen
He sings show tunes and any song that rotates through his head at any minute
Awkward silences are always filled with him around
He is very supportive of your career and will go to all your premieres and acting gigs
Loves to hide in your dressing room or trailer while you’re shooting scenes
You find Pedro and Oscar asleep on the couches in there all the time
He enjoys his usual coffee order but when you order something new and don't like it he'll switch with you immediately
Likes to keep your relationship private but close friends love to hang around the two of you
Talks of the future created a bit of tension between you two when you told him you have your doubts about marriage so early in the relationship. But he agreed to take it slow and at your pace as long as they stay together
When angry he goes on and on in Spanish, sometimes his voice gets too loud and you have to tell him to slow down
Yells at the tv too often
Loves to see kids in costumes, he nearly asks them to take pictures with him rather the other way around
Likes to tease that you're in love with his "boyfriend" Pedro
Pedro is always third wheeling
Your family adores him, for the most part. Immediate family at least
Your mom loves him and he always claims he’s not flirting with your mom but he obviously is
His love language is physical touch, and verbal words
Loves to call you beautiful names in Spanish
Always takes the garbage out and lectures you on the difference between recycle and trash because you always mix them up
Makes you talk to his mother on speaker phone when she calls him
Temporarily joined a bowling team with your dad until he had to quit due to filming
Went through a bread making phase and would slice you the first piece always
He’s a big family man so you met his brother early in the relationship
Wants a big family, brags about how cute your kids would be
Likes to shower with you and claims it’s better for the environment that way
He has more hair and shower products then you
Uses your hairbrush
Insists on smelling every candle he ever walks by and then proceeds to make you smell them
Buys every magazine that has your face on it
Reads your movie reviews before you and attempts to keep bad reviews away from you
You love his beard and you two make it an event to shave it off. Tears are shed, words are exchanged, and comforting kisses are provided
He will challenge every guest in our home to a wii sports competition if the events getting boring
Will share drinks with you
Let’s you pick off his food
He smiles every time you wear his shirts around the house
Saw a video online of a husband washing his wife’s hair and immediately sent you it saying that he does that for you in your joint showers
Will wash your hair for you
He’s down to watch any movie or show 99% of the time
Not really into the Super Bowl but will happily pretend around your family at the Super Bowl party
Holds your hand in public around paparazzi or around town
When he finds a song he likes he adds it to your shared playlist
Buys take out for you when he’s out of town
You two are considered the fans “parents”
That’s all I can think of! Ahhh that was pretty good I’d say.
Thanks for the request!
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