I like to think that, much as Aral Vorkosigan of the Vorkosigan Saga gives a yearly lecture to military academy students on honor and when it’s important and required to disobey illegal orders, sometime starting in the Third Age, returned!Celebrimbor gives a lecture once a decade or so to apprentices of every craft on What Not To Do in Sub-Creation. It consists mostly of these slides:
Sometimes someone raises their hand on slide 1 and asks, “Didn’t you die shortly after the creation of the Three Rings?” “Study your history more closely!” Celebrimbor says. “Yes, I did, but for mostly unrelated reasons which we’ll address in a couple slides.” Usually someone raises their hand later and asks, “Does that mean, logically, it is also a bad idea to create something whose destruction removes your future creative ability?” “Good logic!” Celebrimbor answers. “Yes, it does - though I know of no illustrative examples of that...yet. If it’s possible to do, I’m sure I’ll find out eventually, and return (perhaps from Mandos) to add it to this lecture.”
I commissioned Raven to draw me Baz carrying Simon, ‘cause, and I paraphrase a little here: “WHAT'S THE POINT OF VAMPIRE STRENGTH IF YOU DON'T CARRY YOUR BOYFRIEND?????"”
I stand by that 100%
Though they truly went above and beyond in bringing it to life!
You can find more of Raven’s fabulous work at https://www.instagram.com/ravens.melodies/ (at the time of writing this, their commissions are open!)
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present -- Valdo Marx, troubadour of Cidaris.
If we're talking about pre-heat Obey Me, hear me out. Lucifer's pre-heats make him more clingy and sensitive. Like if you tell him no to cuddles, he'll sit on his bed with blankets around him glaring at you with tears in his eyes cause why don't you want to cuddle. He'd also follow you everywhere and, because of pride, say he's just keeping you safe. I also imagine Satan's a little sensitive too, but in the "if we don't cuddle right now, I'm gonna tackle you to the floor with full force."
headcanons 666000% accepted, thank you anon
Lucifer won't do anything more than link arms with you while he's following you around in public bc he's not into PDA, but expect to have him be your permanently attached arm candy for the entire duration of his pre-heat. Also being attached to you in such a way means that as soon as you enter a private area, he can immediately turn around and fully cuddle up to you. It's not at all a blow to his pride that he needs you so much. After all, he let you claim him -- getting cuddles in return is merely his due. Make sure you spend as much time as possible stealing away to cuddle and pet him and make him melt aaaaa.
So I have this other headcanon: Lucifer prefers to sleep in his true form; that's why his bed is so fuckin big in the game art, because it has to accommodate his wings (which are also definitely 20x bigger than will fit in in-game art that's meant to be shown on a phone screen lol).
So that scene you described with him sitting in bed. He's sitting there with blankets over his legs, wings and horns out. He's pulling the blanket up to his bare chest more for comfort than for warmth, tears in his eyes when you tell him you can't stay and cuddle. He knows it's not really a rejection, but he can't help that it feels like one, and his lips don't tremble but his wings do, wobbling and drooping down, a dejected wingtip touching the floor.
Before you can do more than blink and maybe tear up a little yourself because Sad Lucifer is illegal ok, he's up and fully dressed and (almost) fully composed, and linking his arm through yours. Arm candy acquired. Time to cuddle on the go.
Additional headcanon: since I said on a previous post that all the brothers use suppressors at various times to keep their heats from syncing up ... let's just be honest, constantly overworked and sleep-deprived Lucifer does not go off of his suppressors every time that he should, because he knows the pre-heat and heat effects hit him hard every time, because sometimes he's just too busy to take those couple of weeks for himself when there's so much to do, because he knows the work will pile up during his heat and leave him even busier afterward. The unavoidable thing is, skipping heats just makes them hit him even harder when he finally does go off the suppressors and let his cycle do its thing.
Eventually MC baps him on the head with some paperwork and makes him quit skipping cycles. He grumbles about it but decides the pampering makes it all worth it.
rereading TRT and postulating that in addition to matt being a cuddle octopus, his purring and rumbling actually promote vibrational healing (similar to how cats do!)
HEADCANON ACCEPTED, MATT IS EVEN MORE CAT NOW.
Because seriously. Imagine that warm, soothing purr as Matt sprawls out on top of you, his head on your chest, his fingers rubbing absently at your hip. Between the warmth of him, the pressure, the flood of healing oxytocin from touch, and the little rumbles and sighs and purrs as you run your fingers through his hair - noises that resonate from his chest to yours... The ache seems to just bleed out of your bones, slide free from muscle, every inch of you relaxing. Cuts, scrapes, bruises, pulled muscles - all seem to heal a little faster, hurt a little less now that you're with him.
.... the sun is a star..... ;.;
the sun IS a star!!
Headcanon proposal: the reason why Crowley is a fan of the Golden Girls, is because each one of them is a different facet of Aziraphale's personality.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Aziraphale in the Bastille:
Aziraphale doing his dutiful angel act:
Aziraphale talking about his favorite memories:
Aziraphale being just enough of a bastard:
I have done five minutes of extensive research in the almighty gif archives and I can confidently say I believe there is ample sufficient evidence to back this one up.
All these tags are true @maiseey @catboydogma
I only just realized that the reason Elfangor couldn't morph to heal his injuries in book 1 is cause the Ellimist probably never gave him back morphing ability after the Andalite Chronicles 🤯
OH GOD DAMN IT you might be right and now I can't unknow this. Like, do we ever see him morph after his Earth-vacation? Would he necessarily need to, if he's fighting as a pilot mostly? Damn.
I think both Chris and Eddie like cake but not icing so they pick the icing of their cake. But Christopher doesn’t want to waste it so he gives it to his dad (or he thinks Eddie likes it?) and Eddie sucks it up and eats it to please his son. But Buck likes icing so now that they have Buck he just eats all the icing for them. I don’t know I thought it was cute.
Stop, this IS cute.
Buck has a sweet tooth, so Eddie and Christopher just quietly deposit their icing onto his plate whenever the 118 has a get together, and he just casually eats their icing without breaking stride in whatever conversation he's having.
The first and only time someone brings it up, it's David because Buck had been talking to him about this cold case that had been solved through genetic genealogy. Christopher is the first one to come up to him; he tugs on Buck's arm so Buck can lower his plate for him to scrape his icing off and David's first thought is, huh, that's cute. But then Eddie comes along a few minutes later and scrapes his icing onto Buck's plate, and Buck, without even missing a beat, just taps his fork into the icing and brings it up to his mouth, and David goes from thinking, huh, that's cute, to huh, that's... something. So of course he can't help but say anything just then.
"I think you're missing a little bit of cake on your fork there," and he's joking obviously, with the way he says it, so Buck huffs a laugh and shrugs and is just like,
"Yeah, well, Eddie and Chris don't like icing so I'm the official icing eater."
And David just... sits with that for a moment because he loves Michael dearly but not even he's all that keen about eating/drinking behind Michael (yes, they've had sex, yes, he's had Michael's body parts in and around his mouth, NO, he does not want to share food/water that's been licked all over with him. It's the principle of the matter). So excuse him if his brain is a little stuck on this one tiny detail.
"They just... give you their icing and you eat it like that?"
"Hm?" Buck says, because he's apparently already moved past the icing eating portion of this conversation. "Oh, yeah. It's like, I don't like pickles so Eddie eats my pickles, unless Christopher is around. Then the pickles just go to him because, I mean, have you seen that kid? Who wouldn't give him whatever he wanted?"
And David recognizes that look on Buck's face. He knows what it looks like to be completely fucking in love with your significant other's kid(s) because he sees it on his own face every time he catches his reflection when he's with May and Harry. Only last time he checked, Buck and Eddie were not... significant others.
This is the point where he wisely decides it's none of his business. He was in college once, okay, he knows all about those Just Bros Friendships and ended up in a six-month relationship with one of those Just Bros to prove it. So he smiles politely and excuses himself to find his boyfriend.
"Hey," Michael says. "Enjoying yourself?"
"Yeah, uh huh, listen. Buck and Eddie. Are they--?" He raises his eyebrows significantly.
Michael snorts. "God, no... Do you want in on the betting pool though?"
“Come one love it feels nice” “I’m coming babe”
Middle Earth Elvish Profanity Headcanons
“By the Valar!”
Yes it IS weird to take someone’s name in vain when you’ve literally met them. They usually don’t do it.
However, the line between invoking and cursing is blurred, and it’s normal to invoke/pray to a specific Valar for a relevant reason (eg, cursing recalcitrant rosebushes in Yavanna’s name, invoking Tulkas when threatening to smack your sibling upside the head). Sometimes the relevance is that this particular elf is devoted to this particular Valar, and so will invoke them for things outside their domain (eg, Mahtan says “Aulë help me” whenever any of his grandchildren get in new trouble).
There’s also a spectrum of how explicitly you’re referencing a Vala. Saying something like, “stars above” or “for the love of the tides” is implicitly referencing Varda, Ulmo, etc, but it’s also plausibly just about the natural phenomena themselves. Stars especially - Elves were swearing by the stars and cursing by the darkness long before Oromë first found them, and many of the oldest still do.
The next level of intimacy/explicitness is to reference a specific Vala by title, eg, “Lord of the Skies preserve us”, “Smith curse this casting!”, “Dancer speed your feet, because when I catch you I will cut them off!” Something general like, “by the Valar” would also be on this level.
(NB: while it was...not uncommon in Beleriand to curse by “the Chainer”, “Dark Hunter” or other names for Morgoth, it was regarded as more dire than to reference any other Vala by a similarly semi-personal title. You don’t want to risk drawing his attention.)
Highest, rarest level of cursing by the Valar is of course to name them directly. Especially to name them in Valarin. (No one really does that - though it’s not impossible that Fëanor did in his infamous Oath.) Generally believed (correctly?) to call the Vala’s attention, and thus only done with real intent, OR by those particularly favored by a particular Vala, who know even their frivolous call is welcome. (Eg, Círdan in the most tired voice possible, countless times over the Ages when faced with the latest Noldorin nonsense: “Lord Ulmo.”)
(NB: the Gwaith-y-Mirdain are infamous for expressions like, “[drops hammer on foot] Aulë’s fucking tits!” This is commonly mistaken for arrogance, but actually is because they picked it up from the dwarves of Moria. In general, dwarves are very respectful of their creator, but when you drop a hammer on your foot it HURTS, so they don’t hesitate to complain to him loudly and creatively.)
Cursing by messy bodily functions is always a strong option, though Elves tend to regard it as more juvenile than Men do
Elves curse by sex, but with different connotations than Men. Sex is (generally) indistinguishable from both the social contract of marriage and a literal spiritual bonding of fëa, cemented by an oath invoking Eru himself. Very sacred. There’s 1 word in Quenya, and in Sindarin, etc, which means all of this at once, though there’s also less-often-used words meaning individually the physical, social, and spiritual aspects.
“Fuck” is a very coarse way of referencing the physical act only, implicitly reducing the whole sacred thing to the basest part (the social part involving a great deal of community joy, joining of families, etc.)
Other sex-related cursing - “suck it!” “balls” - have connotations of...the things you might do for physical pleasure without diving fully into a fëa bond of marriage. Opinions on such acts range across time and cultures from “blasphemy” to “perfectly normal behavior for younger Elves, or older Elves who haven’t found their soulmate yet”, which affects how satisfyingly rebellious it feels to reference them as profanity.
Other Things to Take in Vain
It’s actually pretty common to swear by “Song”, “the Great Song”, etc. It’s swearing by the holy nature of all creation without bothering anyone specific.
Relatedly, “Arda Marred” is a common curse for petty things, like stubbed toe levels of petty. Connotation: The world is unfair and YES I’m whining about it.
It was common to swear by the Trees in when they were lit, either individually or “the Trees”, but that stopped abruptly in grief once they were destroyed. Swearing by the sun and moon never caught on, despite conscious attempts.
Swearing by individual Maiar is much less common than by individual Valar, but: while for most Elves, invoking “the Queen” in a profanity way means Varda, for Iathrim it usually means Melian.
“Flame Imperishable”...okay, I’m not saying the supporters of the House of Fëanor were a cult, I’m NOT. But it was a...genuinely minor trend, in Formenos, to replace the names/references to the Valar, in curses, with Fëanor’s name - like, a handful of people were doing this, okay? Two dozen at most. As an active political statement.
But then Everything Happened, including Fëanor dying, and it snowballed (fireballed)...rather fast. The Valar had abandoned them but you know who was plausibly still watching over them as a houseless spirit? Fëanáro! (That was superstition, everyone knew it was superstition. But it was a kind of a comforting one, and anyway, fuck the Valar.)
But all Fëanor’s sons were (varying degrees of) Uncomfortable with both the idea of their father’s unquiet ghost and the idea of venerating their father to minor deitihood, so the general Fëanorian host started using the euphemism “Flame Imperishable.” Which was already something to take in vain, and rarely done so, because it was so very holy a concept! (Arguably it was even more Uncomfortable for Fëanor’s sons than equating their father to “mere” minor deitihood, but at least now there was plausible deniability what people were swearing by.) So this is a win/win, in terms of profaning that which has forsaken and Doomed them! Many Sindar probably picked it up without realizing that it was about anything but the Flame of Creation at all.
But if you know, then you know. And it became so common in East Beleriand that many people forgot the contentiousness of its origin and kept using “Flame Imperishable” as a casual curse phrase after their re-embodiment in Valinor.
...speaking of Fëanor: the Oath! References to the Oath were common curses in East Beleriand and perhaps even the rest of Beleriand. “Elda, Maia and Aftercomer” as an expression of surprise, “Everlasting Darkness” as a curse, etc. In later days, as opinions of the Oath grew darker, “Oath take you.”
References to the Doom were used similarly.
Swearing by the Silmarils was also common throughout the First Age and well into the Second, either as objects of veneration or incredible cursedness.
Swearing by Gil-Estel was quickly popular and never went out of fashion. At first people tried to avoid doing it where Elrond or Elros could hear, including in Númenor, and indeed Elros never did join in, though he didn’t really mind others doing it. At some point in the early-mid Second Age (a few centuries after Elros’s death), Elrond stopped trying to avoid letting it slip into his speech and instead started pulling the power move of just saying “Father” in contexts where anyone else would be swearing by the Star. It’s very analogous to people particularly beloved of a specific Vala casually naming them in oaths. All his children imitate this, “Grandfather”, and Celebrian even picks it up sometimes (”Father-in-law”).
~Wrath of the Nanny Droid~
AU where D9 the spidermom decides to go AWOL and steal maul instead.
Wrath of maul was so painful to read. Give.my. Child. A. Happy. ending.
D9s design is based on a cross between a crab and a spider
LOOK!!! HIM LITTLE FACE!!!
Do you think Zolf has prepared Breath of Life every day since the airship? Ever since Wilde died and he could do nothing about it? Do you think it's the first spell he prepares every morning when he meditates, thinking about Wilde's lifeless body and vowing to himself that he will never feel that helpless again?
the dees are the big loud but super loving and joyful extended family that comes for the annual bbq and tells you how tall youve grown and gives u five dollars.
the meta knights are the 12 queer people of various ages who arent techincally related to each other but they all live together because they love and trust each other so much
both are Fambly but in slightly different ways and i love it and i think it fits with dedede & metas personalities!!!
bc i hc ddd as being a very People Person, very much an extrovert, thrives when in the spotlight & at his best when helping and leading and supporting others.
whereas meta is very introverted and slow to trust but when he loves someone he loves them fiercely and without restraint, and would move heaven and earth for their wellbeing
ok but listen, i’m just as feral over dean and cas’s little movie nights as the next person, but consider this: jeopardy! nights
because if they sit down to cuddle and watch old cowboy movies, then we know that dean ‘watches jeopardy every night’ winchester and castiel ‘walking encyclopedia of knowledge’ winchester also have jeopardy nights every night
just picture dean sitting there with his legs thrown over cas’s lap, tucked into his side, a bowl of popcorn in hand, wildly throwing out answers while cas just sits with one hand on dean’s knee and one picking from the popcorn bowl, giving his own answers paired with very long and detailed explanations that dean will stop and lean in to listen to because he still can’t believe that this big brain loves him
an answer is revealed and cas just. stops. his brow furrows, more frustrated than confused, and mutters that’s not right
Everyone calls Shuichi a Naegiri love child, but people are really sleeping on the fact that K1-B0 is a Hinanami love child.
Kind, but can be sassy. (Hajime/Chiaki)
Artificial person. (Chiaki)
Artificial Ultimate Hope. (IzuruHajime)
Desperately craves to be considered an Ultimate despite lacking any actual skills. The skills he does obtain are given by someone else. (Hajime)
Sacrifices himself for his friends. (Chiaki)
Shipped with practically everyone in his class. (Hajime/Chiaki)
Oh my God, you’ve opened my eyes. This is so true and now I wanna draw them with a little baby toaster Kiibo running around or poking over Chiaki’s shoulder while she plays a game.
That’s so cute and precious! And really well-thought out. This is the superior “Such and Such is Such and Such’s kids” AU!!!