no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.
too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.
2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?
but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.
as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.
which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.
the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.
so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.
and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.
but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.
people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".
but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.
but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.
a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.
i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.
and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.
it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.
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I can imagine after Jason's death Tim wasn't like a therapist instead he was bullying Bruce into therapy, during a fight Bruce goes "I don't need another robin, I don't need help" and Tim just stands aside and watches Bruce get his ass kicked while throwing our random tidbits of therapeutical advice.
I can definitely see this as a different hc as well.
Tim has perfected the Disappointed Stare™ as he watches Bruce in a fetal position getting kicked by a basic goon. Sometimes, when he's really tired babysitting the man, he'll allow the goons to get a few extra kicks in.
He also seems like the type not to intervene when he told Bruce exactly what was going to happen. It's not Tim's fault the man refused to listen to him.
Tim operates on spite, being right, manipulation, and bullying someone for their own good. If the bat-loving depressed middle-aged man wants to be sad by being mean to everyone else, the kid will sign him up for furry support groups. He'll get Alfred on his side to force Bruce to attend those meetings.
Tim Drake is not a licensed therapist, and he'll make damned sure that Bruce knows that. If the man wanted professional help instead of relying on bullying by a kid, the man could afford to do that. Instead, he has a thirteen year old putting itching powder in the batsuit when Bruce refuses to take it off after 27 hours.
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🦋 THAT GIRL CHALLENGE 🦋
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Start a daily gratitude journal to cultivate a positive mindset.
Practice mindfulness meditation for at least 10 minutes each day.
Set specific, achievable goals for yourself in all areas of your life.
Read a self-improvement book or listen to a motivational podcast each week.
Create a budget and track your expenses to improve your financial literacy.
Take a new fitness class or try a different workout routine to stay active and healthy.
Volunteer your time to a cause you're passionate about.
Practice self-care regularly, whether it's through skincare, baths, or relaxation techniques.
Develop a morning routine that sets a positive tone for your day.
Learn a new skill or hobby that interests you, such as painting, cooking, or coding.
Practice forgiveness and let go of grudges or resentments from the past.
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift and inspire you.
Start a savings account or investment portfolio to secure your financial future.
Practice assertiveness and boundary-setting in your relationships.
Spend time in nature to recharge and reconnect with yourself.
Take a solo trip to explore new places and gain independence.
Eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Schedule regular check-ups with your healthcare providers for preventive care.
Practice saying "no" to obligations or activities that drain your energy.
Explore different forms of spirituality or connect with your spiritual beliefs.
Declutter your living space to create a more organized and peaceful environment.
Practice random acts of kindness to spread positivity in your community.
Learn to manage stress through techniques like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.
Attend workshops or seminars to continue learning and growing personally and professionally.
Set aside time for creative expression, whether it's through writing, drawing, or crafting.
Practice self-reflection to identify areas for growth and improvement.
Cultivate a mindset of abundance and gratitude rather than scarcity and fear.
Set boundaries around technology use to prioritize real-life connections.
Experiment with different styles and fashion choices to express your unique personality.
Create a vision board to visualize your goals and aspirations.
Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with kindness and understanding.
Explore your passions and interests to find what truly lights you up.
Develop a morning or evening skincare routine to care for your skin.
Take up a regular exercise routine, whether it's yoga, running, or weightlifting.
Practice effective communication skills to express yourself clearly and assertively.
Set aside time for hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Invest in experiences rather than material possessions for long-lasting happiness.
Foster gratitude by expressing appreciation for the people and things in your life.
Practice forgiveness, both towards others and yourself, to release negative emotions.
Engage in acts of self-love, such as positive affirmations and pampering sessions.
Cultivate a sense of curiosity and wonder by exploring new ideas and perspectives.
Invest in your education and personal development through courses or workshops.
Practice empathy and compassion towards others, seeking to understand their perspectives.
Practice mindfulness in everyday activities, such as eating and walking.
Set realistic expectations for yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and mentors who encourage your growth.
Create a financial plan to save for future goals, such as buying a home or traveling.
Practice gratitude by keeping a daily journal of things you're thankful for.
Take time to relax and recharge by engaging in activities you enjoy.
Reflect on your values and priorities to ensure your actions align with your true self.
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