#hear my voice as im calling out to you

[oatbugs]

my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot #of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality #friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers #more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso #he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her. #and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap #the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth #bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel #how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter #how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do #very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly #and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips #(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner #about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a #knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more. #he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you. #the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her. #red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends #we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said #jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes #i wish i had met you years ago. #crushposting

[mothocean]

I am. So normal about odin bifrostincident

#i don't know why my brain latched onto her but she's slowly becoming my favorite album character #she's just. ough. something something hearing the voices in your head and wanting to finally grasp them #to bring them into being. to let the tune that has been playing in your brain out through a glorious orchestra #to be haunted by that which bringing into being would destroy all. to feel its desire so strongly and know you shouldn’t abide to it #but the sirens call is tempting and it is all you can hear now and there's no way to make it stop #but you don't want it to stop. not anymore. you have long since accepted your mission. it is too late for everything now #the singing is getting louder and it fills your very being and you can no longer tell where it ends and you start #by the time you're defeated there's no longer any of you left. maybe there wasn't any since the beginning. AND THE STARS CLAIM THEM BOTH!!!! #im sorry just. yeah. can you tell i alao like the magnus archives like. a lot #the mechanisms #the bifrost incident #roseflower.txt

[crunchchute]

finally finished reading TSE *insert shackles chain breaking at sunset reaction picture*

#it wasnt bad okay #also imagined the perfect voice for Dave finally #idk how it just happened. i know it wont happen again but im sorta holding onto that burntrap laugh sound that i like for william #and it had the similar... i dunno how to call it. but his voice in my head would sound like that when laughing #i couldnt read it the other day cause i could only hear matthew in my mind lol #also turned to daydreaming twice during the final chapters imagining dave running away once he heard the group run #and second ofc my shitty self insert getting him out. wait it was three then cause also getting him out of the springlocks and #imagined driving him home from the hospital. hes so pretty in my car (i cant drive and i dont live alone but my tse self insert can ok) #(im rich and have a car and a house in the fnaf universe. so i can fuck around and flirt with will and take care of him ok) #anyway he was very pretty. also had a minds image of him washing off blood off his arms in a dimly lit bathroom #kinda wanna draw it. with his skin stained red and his sleeves drenched in blood #washing it off of a knife perhaps. then turning around leaning against the sinks as you interrupt him

[seithr]

having a horrid nightmare that fits all my current stressors/ongoing negative events in it along with my singular greatest fear in the world... waking up emotional and with no one in my family home/in that dream to talk to for confort

i open my phone's notes app because the imagery was really good though

#sitting here still wiping my eyes and thinking yeah a figure crying with (their first drawing's) crayon scribbles for a head #asking for their family to look at them because if not then this terrible image of them (where you try not to remember their face) #(where its just charred smoke and illegible) #is all they can be and they want their family too and you can hear them crying in their kid self's voice and adult body #shit brain yr right that imagery for someone struggling to move past loss of family/stuck in the past/scared of the remains being only imag #DOES hurt really bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lemme take notes when im done wiping my eyes here and im tryin not to call my brother #armour clanking #my eyes hurt man. this is why i dont sleep as long as normal sleep is supposed to be i get punished with long stress dreams. #if nothing else i'm getting the fucking art and ideas out of it I'm owed THAT if i had to see all that . christ. its only monday

[pepprs]

hi update as of an hour ago i have a THERAPIST!!! an actual licensed therapist!!!! we have our first session on monday 😭💗

#purrs #she’s super nice and like.. Grounded in a way i wasn’t expecting from the website lol but i rly can’t wait for our first session 🥹💕 im a #little nervous bc i was trying to shop around for therapists and do consultation calls w a bunch of them and she’s the first one i reached #out to bc i just liked her vibe a lot (and her practice’s name is super cute omg.. hint -> 🍇) but the other counselors i reached out to #turned me down bc of my schedule not being during regular work hours and meanwhile she was like yeah my hours are flexible specifically to a #accommodate ppl in ur situation! which was so good to hear 😭 and she kinda automatically assumed we’re working together from the call but im #not mad abt it at all and i went with it. im rly hopeful abt it and kinda nervous but she said my issues are like a perfect fit for her #and that just in hearing me talk she can tell how thoughtful / introspective / whatever i am abt it and that her approach is to balance the #introspection and the emotion.. and SHE interpreted (CORRECTLY! and i forgot to even name it!) that constantly hoppping between clinical #interns waa probably very disruptive and plays into all my stress abt transitions and i was like YES thank you 😭 and she said she’s #committed to like long stable rs with clients so they can rly heal and get all the benefits out of it. and she also gave this whole big #speech abt how she doesn’t want $ to be a barrier to access for healthcare and i was like patrick voice i love you. lolllll 🥹 im excitedddd #i want her to send the intake forms RIGHT now i can’t wait to fill them out! hehe :’~D

[pesteringchum]

I’ve been thinking a lot about making a spreadsheet cataloguing every JAR/IHE video so I can have a list of every video in the JCU [JAR cinematic universe] to make as many playlists arranged in chronological order as I’d like. I’ve been thinking about this so much that last night i had a dream that i somehow stumbled upon a trove of pre-JAR videos that I’ve never seen before. I was so excited to watch them and catalogue them. The disappointment i felt when i woke up was unparalleled.

#jar media #SO SAD. #if anyone is out there in the JAR tag. please hear my call. #if you know of ANY JCU videos not on the JAR or IHE channel PLEASE send me links #in particular im looking for 2 videos I know exist/existed at some point: #a stick figure kinda animation where IHE lent his voice and a lego animation where IHE also lent his voice #but if you know of any others please let me know! #chum pesters

[nataliekabra]

ilovemybestfriendilovemybestfriendilovemybestfriendilovemybestfriendilovemybestfriendilovemybestfriend

#i just had to get it out #i can't believe i was ready to let her go this time last year. she's so everything to me #and yes i am posting on this blog because ive blocked most of my irls here #she keeps calling me like twice a day to check in on me. like literally between her classes #and i dont think id want to talk to most people but just hearing her voice makes me so happy #okay im not going to ramble anymore here because (surprise!) i have half a semesters syllabus to study for my midsem tomorrow from scratch #i will do everything except study. tumblr and i have this like codependent relationship #guys im supposed to be off tumblr until my exams because i have literally never been this behind on acads my whole life #its not my fault im an addict i swear i deleted the app and everything ok im on my laptop rn #if you see this no you didnt #also our anthropology midterm was a case study on tumblr it took all my self restraint not to come back here and scream about it #UGH GO STUDY KAVYA #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com #nini🌺

[thorns-without-a-rose]

kurama and hiei WOULD cover vocaloid together.

#i think kurama at least would like vocaloid a lot and then drag hiei down the rabbit hole because yknow. gay people #and idk it just feels like theyd cover vocaloid!!! i mean dude a tale of six trillion years and one night is RIGHT THERE!!! #that song is LITERALLY about hiei i am TELLING YOU #but then ghost rule feels so kurama in my mind #and theres just so many songs i feel like theyd cover together or individually!! #like worlds end dancehall? listen man i WILL explode right here and now #also kurama would cover jibeta travel by himself #theyd cover two breaths walking i just KNOW they would #i prefer their sub voices over their dub voices so most of this is going off of that #but like!!!! harmonies dude!!! their voices could compliment each other SO WELL #they would cover ikanaide together and it would sound so pretty #kurama would force hiei to cover salamander #also hiei would do karakuri pierrot on his own #call me insane because i am but like hear me out okay #kurama cover of idsmile??? i would DIE #i mostly have ideas of songs kurama would cover #i think theyd do a MEAN alter ego cover #yes im a proseka fan why do you ask #theyd cover cutlery together but i think kurama would have to do the primary vocals because hiei couldnt sing that high #also of course hiei would cover usseewa i mean look at him #maybe i should list these in a doc or something #because theres still more and i need to stop typing them out ij the tags

[endious]

one day i’ll find a voice that fits jeff so i can listen to it repeatedly throughout the day to stay happy

#— rambles with cadie #THERES NOT ONE MF OUT THERE.. maybe im not looking in the right places for a voice match LMFOAOAOA #call me weird idc i NEED to literally HEAR him you don’t understand #the voice i gave him in my head can only do so much LMFAO

[sortarapunzel]

absolutely incorrigible behavior in this house tonight <- watching the voltron german dub and enjoying it

#if me from 10 years ago could see me now she'd be so confused #all she knew of german dubs was that they turned benjamin coddersnatchs voice into a normalman tenor in sherlock #but also... voltron... whew its bringing back memories #the english dub... its Such a kids show oh my god how did we ever think it was going to go where we thought it would #the animation does slay though. when the characters move it slays #the german dub sort of smooths out the kids show vibes #it also smooths out keith which is really funny #og keith is so like. im punk. im gruff. im voiced by steven yeun. meanwhile german keith is just kind of tired? #german keith has been through some shit and you can hear it. hes no longer a weirdly deepvoiced teenager hes now a weirdly worldly teenager #(and a tenor. of course. bc no german dub is complete without a complete swap of vocal range for the men) (I've honestly gotten used to it) #(highpitched sam winchester is the superior sam winchester and you can fight me on this) #already growing so attached to the german voices that the og english sounds weird to me. i am 10 minutes into the first episode #german dubs are superior!! i can't explain it!! even though the acting is so dry in comparison to the og... #idk what it is i just like how they interpret the characters #og hunk is hard to beat tho ill give him that. german hunk is good but og hunk is great #german lance is WAYYY less cocky lmao he sounds way more unsure of himself when he's delivering those bravado-ass lines #pidge is just. a woman though. it's kind of offputting #you literally cant beat bex taylor klaus at voicing pidge like. they were practically Made for the role #but to have just a normalvoice woman voice pidge is so odd #anyway the translation is also great. lance calls hunk a genius giantfart (genialer riesenfurz) instead of a gassy genius #instead of 'well‚ congratulations'‚ keith tells lance 'welp‚ congrats‚ dude' (Tja‚ Glückwunsch‚ man) #at hearing he got his place in the pilot class #which is such a small change but im obsessed with it #anyway. back to the incorrigible behavior #voltron #junos

[archaeolitikum]

mum stop calling me challenge

#bad bitches with mommy problems ahaah whatever #i cant stand speaking to her over the phone every time im tempted to just cut contact entirely but... #i also feel like maybe its not that bad and im just exaggerating everything in my mind #but then again well . so much traumatic stuff in my life is just her fault ive spent years in therapy because of her #well. whatever #she messaged me on christmas just to tell me 'merry christmas btw your older sibling's grandmother just died' like what is wrong with you #<- my older siblings have another dad so this is a woman i never knew #and then also every time she calls me i can hear on her voice how shes close to tears which is like. well that sucks i get that you miss me #but oh my god please get the hint. i am not ready to talk to you after everything youve done #lol sorry for whining it just makes me so irritated and puts me in such a bad mood #like. i dont get anxious from it i just get annoyed that she keeps doing this and it stresses me out #i dont need more bullshit in my life #well anyways. i have a great relationship with my dad and stepmum its just my mother who is a less than wonderful person

[1v1-me-irl]

I hate rejection sensitive dysphoria

#i wasnt actually rejected #my sister is just an adult #and im lonely and i need to figure that out myself #i just wanted to hear her voice #it was her birthday and i called and left messages and texts to just get a single message back and i get youre an adult but like #i love you asshole #and MAN I HAVE TRAUMA FUCK

[bearinabandana]

@thirteenmyspacegirl

I have no idea hahahahahahaha help

#physically yes im fine I didn't swallow water or anything #and I didn't *almost die* or anything #it wasn't that dramatic #i said under danger of death because it was a danger of death area 💀 that I didn't check the flag before entering 💀 #so when it clocked some MINUTES in which I was trying to swim back with all my force and I didn't get closer to the sand- #well I was like that sucks hard everyone in the beach will think im pathetic if I drown rn #and then I was like oh god this is so embarrassing #and then I tried to shout to the shore for someone to call help but my voice didn't move a meter in front of me #and I couldn't see anyone coming or hear anything because of the waves #so I was like that sucks even harder my muscles are getting sore now and I'll just float into oblivion and nobody will notice #and then when they notice they'll be like oh god that kid's so stupid they fuckin died #and it'd be sooooo embarrassing #i mean can you imagine if they had to use the lifeguard boat to get me out of the big puddle? #the h e l i c o p t e r ??? it'd be pathetic!! #i wouldn't die drowning I'd die of embarrassment!! #13 is sooooo real for that quote about dying being embarrassing #THAT'S what you think about when you're in danger of death #of course you also think wow if nobody comes here to help me I will die because I can't swim back and im helpless #and I am so young and they're all seeing me dying right now but they can't get here to help me #we'll die simultaneously and I'll be the one with the lungs full of water in the end #so that sucks #and then after the THREE (3) lifeguards managed to get me out of the wet place EVERYONE kept repeating the same thing to me #''OH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU SCARED US YOU SHOULDN'T GO THERE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THERE AGAIN #BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH'' like I KNOW!!!!! don't you think I've thought about all the ways to scold me while I was about to die?? #so I just tried to play it off as okay and fine and haha I won't do that again don't worry don't worry haha but man #I am just a little bit shaken with this ???? like #i didn't almost die #i didn't!! #i was physically safe the entire time even though I was floating into the ocean #so this shit should TRAUMATIZE me

[bmpmp3]

and since im in a musicposting mood you should listen to jellyfish right NOW

#the 5yncri5e songs have been going OFF they are unreal how good theyve all been so far #i was originally a little annoyed at the 5 member subunit situation i kinda wanted like. #i dunno three groups of three and one of 2? or maybe two of 3 one of 4 and one duet? #and i was particularly annoyed because they put who i consider like some of the strongest singers in such a big group #(chisato and especially shiki's seiyuu. chisato's a bit of dark horse in that people dont notice how beautiful her vocal expressions are) #(at first until they listen closer. but shiki's seiyuu came out swinging man her voice is fantastic) #(rich and powerful but also so expressive. one of my absolute fav voices in liella) #i was worried they would shaft them and not give them enough lines or something but MAN i did not have to worry at ALL #their voices are SHINING along with tomari and kinako. natsumi's been a little shafted tho #i hope later songs will have more natsumi.... but man jellyfish. tomari's like. thin but melodic voice has been FANTASTIC #in their previous song a little love her and kinako kind of own that song. both high and thin voices but kinako is a little flatter but mak #makes up for it in expression and again tomari's is beautifully melodic so their parts around the synth breaks #where they say 'a little love...' SO GOOD so good. and of course everyone sounds great in jellyfish #this one is fully a tomari joint and she OWNS the upward lilts. the lilts. do you hear me? do you hear the lilts #so so good. i like some catchu songs (kage asobi is great) and im really liking the newest kaleidoscore single #but 5ynchi5e has been OWNING the subunit game rn for me. maybe i just like glossy dance pop HJFKDSLHJDKs #i do NOT like their subunit name tho STOP putting numbers in the names #i liked it with qu4rtz but i did NOT like it with r3birth and i really dont like it with 5yncri5e. TWO NUMBERS thats so hard to type #honestly a lot of the subunit name options were....unfortunate but i woulda preferred bampy dancy LOL #at least it would have been something different! i voted for cinquatre (typed numbers are fine LOL) which prob woulda clashed with catchu #but i also voted backwards r meteort for catchu LOL i do like kaleidoscore tho. i voted for that one iirc #love live fans are wild. we will have deep conversations about cartoon music group names. i wanted r3birth to be called l:sm; #so maybe you shouldnt listen to my opinions about this (I ALSO WOULDA ACCEPTED kira killer and tri jokers) #Youtube

[lovecrazedpup]

i am not ok 👍

#me when i wake up from my surgery and i have a panic attack and cant stop crying everythings going wrong #and all i cant think abt is ‘i want my bf wheres my bf i need my bf’ #and idk i just cry and get depressed and then go home and i get too scared to message bc the call dropped out #and all i wanna do is just hear his voice bc im not feeling well and i have a headache #but idk messaging is so hard like why cant you message for me !! #but now hes in another call and im sitting in bed crying because i cant physically speak and my mouth hurts and i just wanna be with him #but i cant <3 #yayayay #me when im an anxious piece of shit and he was probably glad i finally left him alone and doesnt even care abt me #cant join call though bc a person that i dislike slightly is there and i quite literally cant fucking speak 😍 #rather just kms than feel these emotions to be completely fucking honest #jamie.txt