alice | f. wolfhard
about. (y/n)‘s world comes crashing down after a breakup. she’s ready to leave everything behind as she plays alice in wonderland in the background.
warnings. suicide attempt, break up, really angsty, blood mentions, depression, mentions of food and kind of starving? let me know if i missed something. angst under the cut!
pairings. finn wolfhard x fem!reader
everything was so different now. she was numb to every emotion besides the one she wanted to go through most. she was so sad. she wanted it all to go away.
he left her months ago. said it was him, not her. the most cliche thing you could hear in a breakup. that and the fact he told her he wasn't interested anymore.
most days she couldn't get out of bed. her brothers worried for her, along with her close friends and family but she didn't understand why. there was no point.
she wasn't able to read her favorite books that she shared with him, nor music, shows, and even her favorite movie.
god, did she miss it though.
she lay under her blankets, she hadn't left her room once in the past few months unless it was to use the bathroom or get water. and if she truly was feeling beyond starved then she’d make herself some food in the middle of the night.
her best friend, skylee, who was also her next-door neighbor came by all the time and they just smoked in her room. her brothers, jordan, and quincy did the same, they'd smoke with her to get her in a better mood but it faded quickly.
she'd cried so much that she had permanent tear stains going down her cheeks, they were faint but still there.
"(y/n)?" jordan knocked on the door," me and quincy are going to a friend's house... are you good here by yourself?" he asked from outside the locked door.
"yeah," she croaked as she stared at the beat-up nikes in the corner of her room. the boys left the house and she skimmed through disney+ until she eventually fell on the movie, "alice in wonderland". she hadn't watched it since finn.
now, here she was at her all-time low, "fuck it." she whispered and hit play.
she listened to the music in the introduction and her lip began to quiver. she got up and grabbed the cold water off of her desk and chugged it.
she then grabbed her phone and called skylee.
"fuck!" finn yelled aloud as he got killed in the game. jordan and quincy laughed at his actions when finn got so frustrated that he turned off the system.
"you good, bro?" quincy failed to hold in his laughter. finn nodded and threw the controller on the bed "yeah, let's go get some food."
the boys walked down to the kitchen and went through the fridge. as finn opened the chilled water he sat down on the island, "so um, hows (y/n)?" he asked.
the boys looked at each other then back to finn. "bad. i mean her mental health has always been beyond fucked but she's just not been herself lately." quincy said honestly as he opened the bag of chips
"she'll be fine though. it'll pass" jordan added and tried to change the subject
"Jesus skylee, i've called you like 5 times" (y/n) sniffled.
hmm… not here. i wonder...
"sorry, my phone was in the car, why what's up?" she asked softly.
"are you home" (y/n) stood up and walked to her desk, opening the top drawer.
"no, im on my way to peters. maybe we can hang out when i get back." skylee offered.
(y/n) subconsciously shook her head no, "no, you can't, i was just calling to say goodbye." she rummaged through her desk drawers until she found her pencil sharpener
"you called me to say… goodbye?" skylee chuckled, "that makes no sense."
"yeah, i know" she sniffled again, a little louder.
if i were a rabbit, where would i keep my gloves?
"are you watching alice in wonderland?" skylee asked her, surprise evident in her voice.
"yeah, i am." she giggled and broke apart the sharpener, taking the razor. "well, i’ve got to take off, but i love you skylee, goodbye!" she whispered.
“wait, what's going on? are you okay-" and the line cut out.
"fuck!" she sobbed as razor grazed across her ski, no one was home, it's not like she had to hush herself.
just look ‘at those stems- rather scrawny id say… i think she's pretty.
"God, pick up," she mumbled as she sped back in the opposite direction, back to her house. "jordan, pick up." she mumbled again she gave up and called quincy, thankful that he picked up on the first ring, "skylee? whats up," he asked as he munched on his food.
"are you home?" she asked in a rush.
"no, why" he swallowed. "is jordan home?" she ignored his question and asked her own.
"no, we’re both at finn's, what's going on?" he started to get more anxious with her questions.
"is anybody fucking home?" she asked again and her breath became shakier by the moment "no. skylee you’re freaking me out!" quincy looked at jordan with a worried expression.
"(y/n) just called me, she told me she loved me then said goodbye. i’m like 45 minutes away but im going 80 right now, you need to get home like right fucking now, quincy!" skylee trembled.
quincy hung up the phone and grabbed his keys immediately.
"what’s going on?" jordan asked him as he followed quincy out the door. "skylee thinks
(y/n)'s trying to kill herself!" he mumbled and unlocked the door.
"what?" finn asked, the color draining from his face in seconds, "are you coming or not, finn?" quincy asked as he started the car.
finn frantically nodded yes and got in the passenger seat, jordan went to the back.
finn didn't live far, it was probably only a five-minute drive and from the way quincy was driving, they got there within almost two minutes tops.
he unlocked the front door and jordan ran up the stairs to her room. he began banging on the door "(y/n), open the door!" no response.
who are you?
"(y/n), open the fucking door!" jordan shouted and pounded on the door frantically
"(y/n), please open the goddamn door!" he screamed as he continued to pound on the door, his eyes swelling. quincy and finn watched as jordan pounded on the door until he kicked it in, revealing her lying on her bed. her head was turned to the side and her eyes were rolled back.
can you stand on your head?
jordan ran to her, seeing a pool of blood surrounding her, coming from her wrists.
"oh, my god." finn whispered. “call 911!” jordan yelled at quincy as he went to cradle his unconscious sister. quincy took out his phone and called an ambulance. finn ran to the bathroom and grabbed a white towel, bringing it back to her room. he wrapped it around her wrists and held pressure on them as he let tears fall smoothly down his face.
the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. "(y/n), what were you thinking, baby?" jordan cried as he put his finger under her nose to check her breath.
"is she still breathing," quincy asked his brother as he paced the room?
"i-i can't tell," he looked up at quincy with a red face. quincy immediately ran over to him and went to check for a pulse on her neck but struggled to find one. blood began seeping through the towel just when a bunch of paramedics came rushing in.
they took her body and put it on the gurney while asking the boys questions but they had just gotten there, they knew nothing.
as they were putting her into the ambulance finn immediately followed in, not thinking twice. quincy and jordan followed the ambulance to the hospital in quincy's car, "we're so stupid, why didn't we see this coming" jordan panicked.
"we did. we just didn't fucking do anything about it!" quincy scoffed, "call dad."