“loving her has never been easy

her dark crevices filled with

the wounds of life

her delicate soul

tinged with sorrow

but loving her,

loving her has made

every flower bloom with such vibrancy

every star shine brighter

and brought color

to such a dull life.

loving her brought me to life

i ache to hear her heavenly laugh

and feel her body intertwined with mine

for eternity.

For me there is no other,

her life was meant for me

as mine was meant for hers.”

- untitled // j.a.

"Oh, your forces have made sure I'm blurring my focus now

And all these emotions I still haven't figured out

Gotta keep them from the surface from you now

So I push these feelings under 'till they drown

(Drown, drown, drown, drown, drown, drown)

'Till they drown

(Drown, drown, drown, drown, drown, drown...)"

They're going. Please, please don't. But. I can't hold them back. They're dying (emotionally) living where we live.

I asked if they could delay leaving, and they said no. They're leaving next week. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Logically, they need to go. Emotionally, I don't want them to.

I'm shattered. They even said they had feelings for me, but needed to do this. They're right. But, convince my heart that.

I'm so....so...hurt.

i think im more upset at the fact that you have someone who you can 100% be yourself with. the only person ive ever found that has that with me is you and i can’t have you

WHY DO THEY NOT REALIZE HOW LUCKY THEY ARE? TO BE ADORED BY YOU? TO BE LOVED BY YOU? ARE THEY SO BLINDED BY THEIR OWN SELFISH ENDEAVORS THAT THEY DONT SEE HOW YOU LOVE THEM?

how You love them over me.

Make the chaos in my head stop

My anxiety is so bad that I'm constantly thanking everyone because I'm scared people think I'm ungrateful.

Burning Memories

Burning memories, with my heart. Together we made a love story. Each turning page is a mile in our lives. The breeze pushes the waves, pushing me closer to the edge of my dreams. I can barely see the future but it’s still there in its frame. A bit blurred and so far away. I still remember your gentle touch, your soft kisses and hugs. You are engraved in my memory like perfumed roses slowly dieing…

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"Through the woods a girl came sadly..

Something broken in her chest.

She had dared to love another,

Alas, no better than the rest.

Up my path a girl came gladly..

Something opened up my doors.

I longed to stop her bleeding heart,

And so I called her to my shores:

“Those you trust will hurt you badly.

Something now I'm sure you see.

So drown your tears in me, my dear..

As you drown, my dear, in me.”

- (Sometimes the sea sings at night.)

Rising

Boom boom bang*! My lows are lowering, my highs go thigh high lower now. My ankles hurt from the pressure. I’ve got the need to sing the blues, no lyrics, no rain, just blues and sad clouds darkening. The rain is falling now, I’ve got the bucket out. The mountains are building higher too, I’ve got to work My wings so I can fly. My heart is beating loud, my arteries are ready to pop and bleed…

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I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not getting up out of bed and putting on a smile. I’m not covering everything up with “I’m doing fine” or “don’t worry about me”. I’m not gonna message back all the people who only message me when it’s convenient to them. I’m not going to kiss my pets and let them comfort me or make me smile to forget the pain. I’m not going to fight the urge to steer clear of blades, pills and alcohol I’m going to let the darkness consume me again.simply because I’m done fighting.

S.S.S

I can actually feel my sad,silly broken heart just crushing my chest with every breath I take

Last night, the sickness today, then seeing the clock now.

No wonder you’re upset with me. I am as well. I shouldnt be breaking something I swore to you. 

If youre mad, keep reminding me of our Promise and set me on the road you couldnt. That’s what Im here for. 

If I could just unravel this sorry and find the meaning in it, the beauty in it, then I can move on, move on...

When we are happy we dance

If we are angry we fight

When everything feels too much to handle

When all you want is to leave

You will always feel like home to me

what’s wrong with me? why can’t i let this go already? do i really need you that badly? i love you! it’s crazy, but i love you! maybe my hope hasn’t died yet—because you are my hope!

when your heart aches for a ship that you haven’t even written yet, but you doomed one of the pair to die and now you just sit there thinking about all the heartwrenching moments like

You called me your moon. Saying that like the moon, I was there to comfort you at night. Visible and present during the day and night. The one constant. The one you could rely on. Then you left. My love, you took the glow of the moon with you, and it was replaced with blood. There's blood on the moon, darling, there's blood on the moon. Are you sorry for what youve done? Will you heal the wounds, and wash away the blood? Will you ever return? I have my doubts, but a girl can dream, right?

Is it love, or are we just scared to be alone?

sometimes I feel like things arent going anywhere...