#hehe i’m proud of dis one

[astraystayyh]

Volcano

pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.

summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."

cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 13.2k

a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3

skz quotes series masterlist.

You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.

There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.

But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?

You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.

☄༄

You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.

The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.

You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul. 

So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.

But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.

Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.

"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."

Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.

 "I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.

"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.

"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."

"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.

He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.

He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you. 

You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."

Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"

"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."

You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.

Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.

"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"

Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.

You've had enough.

"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."

"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.

"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"

Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."

"That’s not true-"

"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"

"Yn, I-"

"Save it."

Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.

☄༄

For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.

You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.

Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.

You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.

What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?

But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.

That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.

Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?

"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.

"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.

"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.

"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.

Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.

"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.

"I miss him too."

"Then you'll be okay."

You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.

And you unravel at the sight.

You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.

"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."

"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”

“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.

"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.

"Get out, yn."

"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.

"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."

And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.

Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.

"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."

"You don't have to."

"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."

"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.

The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.

That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.

Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.

It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.

"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.

"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."

"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"

"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."

You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.

☄༄

One month later

If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.

Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.

You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.

Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.

Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.

Your need to flee has never been this strong.

You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.

"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.

It doesn’t.

"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.

"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond. 

"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.

"Yes," you both reply at the same time.

"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."

"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.

"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.

"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.

"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.

"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.

"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"

"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.

It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.

Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode. 

It’s Han.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”

“Have you tried being silent?”

"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."

You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.

"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."

“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”

“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”

"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.

"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."

An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."

"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"

"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.

"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."

The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.

"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”

"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."

Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."

"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."

“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”

Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"

"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."

"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”

"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."

"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.

You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."

"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."

"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.

He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.

"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."

"I didn't have signal."

"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.

"You... Are standing next to one another."

"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.

"We aren't."

"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.

"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."

"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.

Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.

You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

☄༄

Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.

Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.

Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.

This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.

There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.

The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.

The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.

Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that. 

A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.

Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.

The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes. 

Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.

Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.

Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.

They fall on deaf ears.

You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.

"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed. 

"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.

Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.

"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.

"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."

"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.

"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."

"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.

"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.

"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."

"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.

"It is sincere."

"Good."

You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.

"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.

"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."

A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"

"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.

"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.

"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"

"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance. 

☄༄

The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.

Except this time, you were joined by Han.

Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.

But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.

"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?

Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.

Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.

This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?

"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.

"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.

"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."

"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"

"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."

"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."

"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."

The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.

"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"

"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."

"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."

"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats.

"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."

"Can we hug it out?"

"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.

"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."

"You won't make any comments?"

"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.

"Okay. I'm in."

.☄༄

Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.

You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.

But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.

The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.

2:56 a.m.

An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.

You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.

And then, you plummet. 

You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.

You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber. 

Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.

"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.

"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.

"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.

Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.

"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.

"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.

"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.

Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-

"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"

"Okay," you simply nod.

He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"

"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."

Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.

"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.

"Nightmare."

"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.

"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.

"It passed. You're okay now."

"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.

"Is it a recurring dream?"

"Mm. It tires me out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."

"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.

"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."

You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.

"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.

"And?"

"Should we test it out?"

"Test what?"

"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"

"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes!"

"Okay, let's go!"

You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free. 

"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.

"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.

"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."

"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"

"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.

You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.

"You looked insane!"

"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself. 

"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down. 

"Okay, will you count down for me?" 

"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.

"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.

You've never felt this free before.

The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future. 

As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.

"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han. 

He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.

You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song. 

Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.

Ooh, let the light in

Its light shines on you alone.

Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.

You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.

Look at us, you and I back at it again

Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.

Cause I love to love to love to love you

I hate to hate to hate to hate you

Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.

Cause I want to want to want to want you

You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.

I need to need to need to need you

Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.

Ooh, let the light in

You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.

Ooh, turn your light on

He thinks he might, if the light is you.

5:22 a.m

"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.

"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.

"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.

"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.

"It's okay."

"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."

"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.

"Come closer."

You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head. 

Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?

"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.

"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I can't control it."

In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words. 

"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.

"That's the goal. You need to rest."

"You should sleep too."

"I will."

"Okay. Good night, Han."

"Good night, Yn."

You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."

"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse. 

"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.

"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."

"I hope you'll dream of it instead."

☄༄

Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing. 

You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them. 

"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.

“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and��� it's partly your fault"

"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.

"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."

You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.

"I'm coming"

As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.

“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”

“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.

You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.

"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.

You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.

"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.

"Have you taken any medicine?"

"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."

"Why didn't you tell the boys?"

"Didn't want to be a burden."

"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."

"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.

Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.

"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.

"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."

"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed. 

"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.

His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.

You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.

"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.

"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.

"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"

The floodgate opens.

A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.

"You're sick. Let me take care of you."

"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.

"I will do it."

As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out. 

"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.

"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.

"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."

You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.

"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.

"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.

"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."

"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."

"What if the tunnel is closed?"

"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.

"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones. 

"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck. 

There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.

☄༄

Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.

Yet, here you are now.

A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.

You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.

He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.

You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.

You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.

That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."

You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.

"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."

"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.

"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.

"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"

"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.

"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."

"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.

"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.

"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.

"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.

"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.

"Try harder."

"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.

You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.

"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.

"You did well," you whisper back.

"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.

"Yeah, ours."

Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.

"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.

"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"

"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."

"I can, as your husband."

"Since when are we married?"

"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.

"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"

"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.

"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.

"Will you stay, please?"

"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.

"You can sleep here. We've done it before."

"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."

"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

"Are you now?"

"Very much so."

"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."

"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.

"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.

At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.

So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.

"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.

You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses. 

"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."

"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.

"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.

"Like a secret secret."

"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.

"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.

"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"

"A little."

"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.

"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness. 

"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.

You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.

Right now, it's for Han.

☄༄

The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.

Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks. 

That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.

Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.

"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.

"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."

"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.

"Snacks."

"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.

"And my eternal gratitude of course."

"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.

A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you. 

"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.

"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.

You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.

"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.

"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.

"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."

"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.

"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.

"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."

He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"

He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?

"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.

"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"

A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.

"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."

"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han. 

Two months later

You have 3 new messages from: hannie

"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"

"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."

"Volcano.mp3."

Light.

#stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz x reader #han x you #han x reader #han jisung x reader #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #skz angst #stray kids angst #han fluff #han angst #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #han fanfic #skz fanfic #skz reactions #skz au

[vettelinyourarea]

oceans and engines - charles leclerc

genre: angst

warning: english is not my first language

word count: 1,090

inspired by oceans and engines by niki

notes: hehe feeling kinda angsty today, i’ve been wanting to write a fict based on oceans and engines for a while so i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it! also, requests are open 🩵

feel free to give me any feedback

Saturday sunset

We're lying on my bed with five hours to go

Fingers entwined and so were our minds

Cryin', "I don't want you to go"

You wiped away your tears

But not fears under the still and clear indigo

You said, "Baby, don't cry, we'll be fine”

You're the one thing I swear I can't outgrow

“Do you really have to go?” you asked, trying your best to not cry. It was a Saturday afternoon, only a few hours before Charles have to fly to the first race of the season. You have been with him since he started his Formula 2 career until now when he’s racing in Formula 1 for the team he has been dreaming about since he was just a child.

“I���m sorry my love, I wish you can go with me too,” he said as he wiped away your tears. You have experienced this before, but still, it doesn’t get easier for you being away from him. But that day feels different, something feels different.

A lot of people said you and Charles are soulmates, and you two believe that, firmly. But these past couple of months haven’t been easy for you two, especially for Charles, and it’s ultimately affecting your relationship. But neither of you wants to address that, the two of you always pretend everything is fine, always pretending that your relationship is perfect.

But the two of you knew since that day, that it’s far from perfect.

My mother said the younger me was a pretending prodigy

Well, nothing then, much has changed

'Cause while you're wolfin' down liquor

My soul, it gets sicker

But I'm stickin' to the screenplay

Gotta say I'm okay, but answer this, babe

“How are you?” he asked from the phone, loud music could be heard and you knew immediately that he was partying, probably with his driver friends. The race weekend just ended, and it was routine for the drivers to end it with partying at a nearby club.

“I’m okay, just doing my assignments,” you said, trying to hide your cry. You can’t lie to yourself anymore, it’s too much for you. The relationship you have with Charles is not the same as before, you knew that deep down, but have only accepted the truth just now.

Being away from Charles is difficult, but you knew that was one of the risks for dating a Formula 1 driver, still, it doesn’t make it any easier. You are happy for him, truly. You are proud of Charles for doing what he loves, but are you doing what you love? Is dating Charles only holding you back?

“You sure, love?” he asked after a few moments, sensing your emotions.

“Yes, you go have fun. I’m okay.”

And just like that, you end the call, leaving Charles confused.

How is it now that somehow you're a strangеr?

You were mine just yеsterday

I pray the block in my airway dissipates

And instead deters your airplane's way

But heaven denied

Destiny decried

Something beautiful died

Too soon

“I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore,” you said to him, not daring to look straight into his eyes. It was one of the most difficult things you have ever done, the other thing was accepting the fact that you can’t be with Charles anymore. Not like this.

“But, why? Did I do something that hurt you?” he asked, trying to hold your hand but you pulled away, hurt is evident in his tone.

It was a sunny day, a rare day off for Charles. It hurts you to tell him this, to end things with him. But it has to be said, it has to be done. For your sake, and for Charles’s. You knew he sensed things are different now since he come back on the last season’s winter break, and you knew he refused to acknowledge it, to accept it.

Being in a relationship from a young age is not easy, but ending it was certainly harder.

“I love you Charles, but things are different now and you know it. We can’t be together anymore,” you said, finally giving up and deciding to look up to him. It was the worst mistake you’ve made. Seeing him like this, red-eyed, tears in his eyes fighting to come out. But you know this is for the best, for you and for him.

You knew the moment he nods his head, something beautiful had died, something in you had shifted.

But I'm letting go

I'm givin' up the ghost

But don't get me wrong

I'll always love you, that's why

I wrote you this very last song

Turns out, trying to move on from him was harder than the breaking up part. You tried and you tried to let him go, but you just can’t. Everything in you is screaming to just forget him, but it is easier said than done. Still being in contact with him certainly doesn’t help, and you knew that. You knew that in order to completely move on from him, you have to cut him out, at least for a while.

“Why can’t you just block him?” your friend asked you. You tried blocking him, you really did, but it was hard. Having spent most of your life with him and now you have to cut him out from your life for a while is not easy.

But one night, your mind is set. You have to let him go and he has to let you go. You have to move on with your life and forget him completely. So, you did it. You block him, but not before leaving him a message. A message that little do you know, makes Charles cry his eyes out.

Thank you for everything Charles, but I’m letting you go, and this is my last message for you. I loved you.

I guess this is where we say goodbye

I know I'll be alright

Someday I'll be fine

But just not tonight

It’s not easy for you. It was never easy to forget someone you grew up with. And it’s okay, you know you don’t have to be alright. You knew this is the best decision you can make. But that doesn’t mean you regret your relationship with him, no, you are thankful for the past 6 years you have with him. You will always cherish the memories you made with him.

You know that you will be fine eventually, but just not tonight.

#f1 #formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 angst #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 angst #vettelinyourarea

[miniseokminnies]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder — Lee Seokmin

♡ pairing: lee seokmin x fem!reader ♡genre: established long distance for work idol!seokmin ♡wc: 0.8k ♡warnings: 18+ MDNI, phone sex, mutual masterbation, switch!seokmin, switch!reader, praise kink ♡a/n: a small tiny self indulgent drabble after the havoc lee seokmin wreaked on the timeline today. GUTS!hongjoong will be out this week i just had to get this out of my head first. my like 12 followers are eating good this week hehe (follow me for more multi stan fics)

“I miss you, come home” you pouted at your phone screen, which now housed a blinding smile from your boyfriend at the other end of the video call. 

“I wish I could, darling,” he raked his free hand through his hair, “but this is for work” he sighed. You sat down on your bed, now seeming incredibly empty, Seokmin had been so busy with schedules that he hadn’t been able to stay over in quite sometime, let alone just come over to see you. You missed the way he filled up the space that now felt too big and cold just for you. 

“I know, and I’m so proud of you and the rest of the boys, I just…really miss you” you huffed, laying back on your pillows. Seokmin affirmed your feelings and assured you that he felt the same before launching into an animated story about the plane ride to Japan. The two of you talked for a while before you noticed the flush of his cheeks, “Minnie, are you okay? You look uncomfortable” 

“I—uh, yeah” he hissed, “I just really miss you” 

“Oh-oh” you realized what he was saying feeling a blush of your own creep across your cheeks, “just from talking to me?” you smirked. 

“Yes,” he covered his eyes with his hand, embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry—I’ll just..go” 

“No..” you bit your lip, “show me…” you saw his eyes snap open and look at you in disbelief before taking in your expression and quickly turning the camera around. You easily spotted the bulge in his pajama pants, thin fabric leaves little to the imagination. Seokmin’s free hand began to palm over it and a familiar whine filled your ears. The sound went straight to your core. 

“Baby..” he breathed, “ca-can I?” you nodded, knowing your camera was still on your face and that he could see you. Not needing to be told twice, he shimmied out of the pajamas and his boxers. His cock sprung free and stood stiff against his stomach. Watching, you saw him carefully wipe the bead of pre cum that was leaking over the head and spread it down. Quickly Seokmin was fucking up into his hand, “I wish you were here,” he whined, “always make me feel s’good,” praising you when you were hundreds of miles away. Your own hand snaked its way down between your legs, eager for some release. Seokmin, always knowing you better than you knew yourself saw the change in your face, “If you’re going to touch yourself, at least be fair and let me see” he begged. Eager to please, you quickly discarded your sleep shorts and panties and situated the camera so he could get a good view. Dipping two of your fingers into your own pussy you bit down a moan, Seokmin was not as quiet, seeing one of his favorite sights before him he let out a sound that was halfway between a whine and a moan. The speed of his strokes increased now that you both were involved. 

“Slow down,” you ordered, “you don’t get to cum without me,” a protest died in his throat as you saw his speed decrease. His strokes evened out and he set a slow pace as you moved to stimulate your own clit. 

“What I wouldn’t give for those to be my fingers” Seokmin breathed out, unable to take his eyes away from the screen, no matter how much he wanted to squeeze them shut, “imagine those are my fingers, darling” he instructed. He was certainly thinking about your warm pussy hugging his dick instead of his own hand. You let a moan escape your lips, “baby, please let me speed up, I can’t keep go-going like this when you sound so pretty” 

“I’ll allow it” you feigned calmness, when actuality you felt the coil in your stomach begin to tighten. Seokmin began fucking up into his hand at a sickening pace, so you knew he was close too. You moved your fingers back to your entrance and slowly shoved three of them back in. You did your best to match his pace. 

“Baby, can I cum now,” he whined, unable to keep his eyes open any longer, “please” 

“mhmm” you hummed, feeling your release hurtling ever closer. Seokmin relished being given permission and hot white spurts began to release. He fucked himself through his orgasm, just as the coil in your stomach snapped. Both of you laid there breathless for a moment before you heard a pounding on the door of Seokmin’s hotel room. 

“Dokyeom-ah!” you heard the voice of Soonyoung call from the other side. 

“I am so incredibly busy right now,” Seokmin replied, trying to even out his tone. 

“Yeah, I know” Soonyoung replied, “walls are thin shut the fuck up” 

#bennie’s works #lee seokmin imagines #lee seokmin x reader #lee dokyeom x reader #seventeen smut #lee dokyeom imagines #dokyeom smut #lee seokmin smut #seokmin x reader #seokmin smut #lee seokmin #dk #seventeen imagines

[moodymelanist]

I Guess It’s Half Timing (And The Other Half’s Luck) Chapter Three

We were down to the wire, but we made it! I graduated from law school two weekends ago (eep!) and everything’s been a little hectic since then, so I’m proud of myself for making my posting schedule happen still hehe. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter and we’ll be back next month for the next part 🤍

✷✷✷✷✷

Nesta

Two weeks later, Nesta found herself wandering around the mall food court with Elain. Feyre had been busy with one of her commissions so she’d had to bow out, but Elain had managed to sweet-talk Nesta into accompanying her shopping anyway. Something about needing a new dress for one of Lucien’s family outings.

It wouldn’t have normally been so excruciating, but Nesta hadn’t been dealing with so many symptoms when they’d made their plans. Her morning sickness had thankfully died down, but being assaulted by so many sights and smells wasn’t exactly helping with her nausea, and her bladder had shrunk down to the size of a pea in the last week. She’d somehow managed to keep her act together as they’d strolled through the various aisles of Nordstrom, but the second Elain had suggested they get something to eat, Nesta’s body had started going haywire.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Elain asked, shooting a concerned look Nesta’s way as they walked toward Cava.

“I’m fine,” Nesta answered through gritted teeth. She just wanted one day with her sister to go well, dammit, and she couldn’t even do that. “I just… I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll text you my order, okay?”

Keep reading on AO3 here!

tag list: @perseusannabeth | @bookstantrash | @charming-butt-insane | @oversizedbats | @melphss | @sv0430 | @podemechamardek | @autumnbabylon | @live-the-fangirl-life | @julemmaes | @that-little-red-head | @jmoonjones | @sayosdreams | @thewayshedreamed | @hiimheresworld | @brieq | @pearlfortears | @swankii-art-teacher | @nerdperson524 | @snickerdoodlechittybangbang | @imsointobooks | @nesquik-arccheron | @sweet-pea1 | @champanheandluxxury | @dustjacketmusings | @mrs-shadowsinger04 | @unlikelypersonalknight1 | @goddess-aelin | @arinbelle | @talkfantasytome | @simpingfornestaarcheron | @duskandstarlight | @letstakethedawn | @vidalinav | @c-e-d-dreamer | @dealfea | @katekatpattywack | @burningsnowleopard | @thatsowlmazing

#acotar #acosf #Nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #moodymelanistwrites #pregnancy nessian fic #pregnant!nesta #nesta x cassian

[leeus-writing]

A Loss - Sephiroth

I was asked for : - prompt ghost for Halloween, with Zack, Cloud and Sephiroth (separately), s/o died sacrificing herself to protect the boys in a fight and in the Halloween next year she appears to then to try to easy their guilty, really angst hehe. Thank you so much and happy Halloween This is Cloud

A Loss - Sephiroth

Blood sprayed across his face. Sephiroth looked on in horror as you fell to the floor with a sickening thud. He cried, lashing out with Masamune, slashing down anyone who got in his way. His world suddenly didn’t make sense. Why would you do that. Jump between himself and an enemy? He didn’t need protecting. He was Sephiroth, war hero. A war hero who had failed you so badly.

Once all was said and done, he stood still. Madness on his face, you lay at his feet not moving. He fell to his knees and gathered you into his arms. He didn’t cry but he did stroke your face.

“Why Y/N… Why did you do that?” He moaned over your body.

“Why…”

| |

A year passed, Sephiroth had distanced himself from people. He stayed far out of the public eye and hardly left his rooms. Pictures of the both of you still stayed up in the apartment. He didn’t want to take them down. He didn’t want to loose the memories of you. He’d loved you more than anything and now… now you were gone.

Spirit night always held a certain level of Myth and fantasy. Kids dressing as gools and ghosts. Families leaving offerings for loved ones since passed. He’d never gotten involved. In the past he’d had no one he needed to remember. Not until now, yet he still didn’t believe.

He looked out across the city, at the lights and Mako reactors. At his world. A world that felt so empty.

“I always liked this picture…”

He turned reaching for a blade that was not there. He spotted you and his world seemed to tip. He staggered towards you.

“Y/N… No, I’m seeing things,” he groaned.

“No… I am back, but just for the night. Just to have a chance to say goodbye. My last wish,” you said with a sad smile.

He hurried to you eyes wide and pulled you into his arms. You had no temperature, but he didn’t care, being able to hold you was enough. He kissed you deeply. The thought of only having you for a night hurt beyond measure.

“No… NO I lost you once. I’m not loosing you again!” he growled.

You sniffed sadly. Tears disintegrating off of your skin. You held him close, “No I’m sorry Sephiroth it doesn’t work like that.”

“I failed you. I should have kept you safe,” He groaned.

“Sephiroth. I chose to protect you, to defend you. Had I not we would have been in the reverse. The people need you. This planet needs you,” you replied taking his hands in yours. “I will always watch over you. Waiting for you when your time finally comes. I’ll be waiting for you.”

You placed a hand on his face. He nuzzled into it finally letting a tear slip. Something Sephiroth was not likely to do. It broke you all over again seeing that tear.

| |

Night was passing quickly, you’d both talked for hours looking over the city. The sun was just starting to cress over the skyline and your form was starting to become translucent. A green shimmer danced around the edges of your being.

“You must go?” Sephiroth questioned sadly.

“Yes… It’s time. I’ll be here always. Even if you cant see me. Just live Sephiroth. Live and smile because you’re alive. When times feels dark just remember to keep fighting. Fight for a better day, fight and smile knowing one day you’ll have a reason to smile. I’ll be waiting,” You reached over and kissed him.

He pulled you into his arms kissing you deeply until you were completely gone.

When his hands fell through thin air he broke, sobbing and crying before forcing a smile through the tears and looking up into the sky. You were waiting. He’d do you proud….

| |

@renohasbigtits

@marnixbokuto

@thedarkcoven

@ladyalexandros

@miss-celeste

#sephiroth #ff7 #ff7r #sephiroth x reader #ff7 x reader #final fantasy vii #ff7 sephiroth

[darushi-chan]

Im alive, lol. Inuyasha AU for Lucemond just because. Ok, I’m in way to many fandoms for my own sake, but meh. For the ones who don’t know, Inuyasha its a japanese anime, the simple plot, they are in feudal japan, and the’re are demons or youkai, in the original anime the male lead (Inuyasha) its a half dog demon or hanyo, his mother its a human and his dad its a famous demon (Or Inuyokai/Dog demon), in this case Lucerys its Inuyasha, Rhaenyra its his youkai mom and Ser Harwin its his human dad. Inuyasha also has a half brother how’s a youkai, a very proud and asshole dude, but also super handsome, lol, at some point in the story Inuyasha cuts his arm with his sword, and it doesnt grow back (for the ones who know lets leave it at that) so if Luke takes Aemond eye here of course its not coming back, canon you’all.  Inuyasha its like a very nostalgic anime from my childhood, I love it. I dont really ship Inuyasha with his brother, but Sesshomaru its to much like Aemond some times for me to ignore it, obssesed with his pure blood, his lineage and with power, also with pantene long white hair, do I need more? He also hates hanyo to the bone, specially his half brother, how can I not put my fated feud here? Lol. I like to think that the Targs are this very powerful and old Dragon Youkai family, Rhaenyra being well, Rhaenyra, doesn’t give a shit and goes and falls in love with Human Harwin and has all of her 3 hanyo children and has the time of her live with them until Harwin dies, because well, he’s a human and humans die, specially in feudal japan times lol. You can’t really hide being a hanyo because other youkais and hanyos can smell it, so no Laenor papa sadly, but hey, they are happy, the Targs, specially Aemond, can bitch about their pure blood all they want. Because anime magic and so on, Youkai and Hanyo don’t age like humans and they also have a bunch of other cool things, like weird magical swords and powers. Luke its not that good with swords so he uses a bow and arrows (Inspiration from Ñuhon its that you?), Aemond of course has a sword. Luke should have something more dragon like to show he’s a half dragon hanyo, but I really wanted to give him Inuyasha cute little dog ears for this drawing, we can also think they’re doing cosplay hahahahahhaa.  Fated feud forevah, Aemond its a snobby Oh no my pure youkai blood you damn hanyo ruin everything bla bla bla, and Lucerys always end’s up figthing with him for it, thats how you end up lossing eyes you’all. That’s also a very good way of ending obssesed with your hanyo nephew, hehe.

#Lucemond #lucemond Inuyasha AU #just because #originally Inuyasha clothes are red #but I really wanted to make Luke's blue hehe #Sesshomaru's clothes are white with yellow-violet-red decorations #but of course I made Aemonds green-black-red #OMG Sesshomaru has a green two headed dragon called A-Un #Now thats Vhagar you'all

[tvshowspoilers]

OFMD episode 7 thoughts

Already know I want that robe Ed has! Dude it’s beautiful and I love the blue

Ed getting the breakfast ready is the cutest thing ever

I’m forever going to be crying that we didn’t see them cuddle! DAVID WHY

Also Ed’s little hum as he’s going down the stairs is precious

Aww Stede being so sweet about the twine on the tray when Ed is so nervous about it (you can hear it in his shudder breath when he says he panicked) (Taika why are you so good at making me feel emotions lol)

“you know that night that I died?” ED. BABY YES HE KNOWS

Still dying about Izzy coming in while they are in dead and his fucking smirk and AGH And Ed is just like, yep saw that coming

AND I AM NEVER GOING TO FORGET THIS LINE “ it’s good to see that it’s not just a ship that’s been good and truly….docked”

Oh yes on second viewing that clock is fucking sus….Zheng Noooo

I actually love Auntie

Also ED IS A CONFIRMED OPEN MOUTH CHEWER lol

Ed’s reaction the the letters “I love that you did that” awww…I hope he finds them! And Stede’s little self deprecating laugh, aw he needed Ed to say that

Dude you can totally tell Ed has never been skipped over…look at the little scoff he does and disbelief

I love love goofy Ed and Stede so much

Also this (Ed’s little speech about drinks tattoos and paps) is something I could totally see Taika saying to a newly famous person??

The revenge boys!!! I love it and Jackie’s little “the Swede will be happy to see ya!” Hehe

Ed’s so nervous for Stede like Stede was for Ed

So Ed’s soft look (outside) was him looking at the fish basket and thinking of a simpler life…so at this point he was already thinking about leaving and Stede and stuff? Expecially after the convo with Izzy? Cause his eyes get really sad.

I still don’t know how to process the fight with Zheng…just that I agree that he was double upset about loosing his found family

I know the little moment of Stede saying “you don’t sound that happy” hurt me cause Ed’s face is like nope and flashbacks to “what makes Ed happy is you” OOF

But, I don’t think it was a full breakup…but it was a discussion that was bound to happen at some point and I’m proud of Ed for explaining he and Stede went over the boundaries he tried to set, for realizing he wasn’t ready for this relationship yet and that he doesn’t know what he is……And that Stede was open to their relationship being “whatever” until Ed is ready

But god I’m still upset about his word choice and it’s been almost 24 hours since this episode dropped “last night was a mistake” still hurts very bad cause like I said…pipeline in Stede’s head to “I was a mistake”

I think it was an alright conversation until Ed said he was leaving (leaving Stede first so he doesn’t get hurt which is what I expected in s1 but figured would happen this season…tho not like this and this close to the season finale…yikes)

And Stede’s reaction about the fish, damn Ed was so proud of that fish…but my two cents, he wasn’t being malicious I think he was just saying one fish does not make one a fisherman

Oh but the “fishermen and pirates are nothing alike like” damn

Steak Knife is lovely

I think laughing at the guy was part drunk Stede and also him covering up the pain of his other kill…idk how to explain

Also we can still hear the ROP screams and stuff during the first part of the credits

Once again, love freaking fang and that roach made mud baths a thing

So yeah, rewatching this episode…it was alright and then got painful toward the middle and definitely second hand embarrassment worthy at the end but I thought it was a decent episode. Of course it had pacing issues but that’s MAX’s fault, not David’s

#ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #spoilers #ofmd #stede bonnet #blackbeard #edward teach #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

[kloppinthekop]

15 Questions, 15 Friends

Tagged by @kraeki and @ollieflopkins, my tumblr partners in crime hehe

Are you named after anyone? Nope! My name just happens to be something my non-English speaking Chinese relatives can pronounce.

When was the last you cried? Last night I laughed so hard that I cried at a friend’s birthday party when we were playing a silly game. This was a vast improvement over the previous few weeks, when I was crying every day out of frustration over work/colleagues. 🫠

Do you have kids? No. My family’s bloodline dies with me! 😈

What sports do you play/have you played? I am so incredibly not athletic, even though I’m obsessed with watching football (and baseball when I was younger). I did ballet from the ages of about 5-10 years old but I never made it to pointe, which is somewhat of a regret in my life… but I’m very short so I would never have made it as a ballerina anyways. 🩰

Do you use sarcasm? Yes, and it is one of the only ways I stay sane and refrain from saying very brutally honest things at work that would possibly get me fired.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Honestly, I’m not really sure. I think it’s probably different for everyone, but probably hair and face? And if they have a cool/unique sense of style.

What is your eye color? Brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Both, but if I absolutely had to choose one, then happy endings. Especially LGBTQIA+ movies—I’m so sick of sad gay movies that leave you without any sense of hope. There was a time when I sought out the most heart-wrenching stories possible, but now I just want my faves to end up happy.

Any talents? I like to collect small talents/skills here and there when I go into various obsessive phases. Currently I am pretty proud that I can make little earrings and bracelets and such using some chainmaille techniques. I also used to be very good at the piano and violin (my parents have a shelf full of my trophies, and I even won a major scholarship prize when I was younger) but I don’t really touch those instruments now.

Where were you born? Boston! But I didn’t grow up there.

What are your hobbies? Watching movies, listening to music, chainmaille, occasionally cooking or baking, singing along to Kate Bush in the car, etc.

Do you have any pets? No, but I would like to adopt a cat or two!

How tall are you? 5 feet even

Favorite subject at school? English literature — so much so that I got a PhD in it 📚

Dream job? To have no job, lol… But okay, in an ideal world where capitalism does not exist, I’d love to have a job where I could curate playlists, book recommendations, photo and art exhibits, etc. — maybe in a bookshop that I’d own with my queer friends and there would be cats and pretty cocktails and lots of tea.

Tagging (no pressure, esp. if you’ve already done it and I’ve just somehow missed it!): @mebiselfandi @stormoflina @onherereading @lexqa @trenty @photmath @liverpool-enjoyer @jarellquansah @lfc-xnda @moomin279 @immortaltale @trentxaa @endowataru @shob-chop-lai @across-light-and-dark

#tag game

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 47 Notes-

- I’m so scared

- Like. Almost more scared than for last episode

- Ahhhhhh

- Hermie my beloved I haven’t stopped thinking about you <333

- (Seriously I’ve been basically exclusively rping you. Channel seven has been wild man)

- Anyways

- Ahhhhhh

- THE INTRO

- OMG

- THEYRE TALKING AHOUT SCAM AND NORMAL AOSNDHAJSBHSKAJSJDJDHDUIEJE

- Im vibrating this is insane

- I love their intros so much

- I LOVE THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS SO MUCHHHHHH

- Hehe I remember that from last season

- Taylor’s Teen Fact: Taylor’s first fight was in fourth grade because he was getting bullied (by Steve) over his collectible card game so he kicked the guy in the nards. That’s how he got into karate

- Lincoln’s Teen Fact: The first fight and lie between Linc and his parents was when he did a “hunger strike” until they let him go to school (but he actually was eating)

- Will messing up Normal’s intro was way too funny to me

- Normal’s Teen Fact: Normal does a tarot card reading everyday before getting started

- He’s like Mercedes!!!!!!!!!

- I cannot believe that he pulled the reversed Lovers holy shit

- Scary Teen Fact: Scary plays the piano. Because if the letters are rearranged it spells pain-o

- Anthony Fact: They haven’t thrown to their sponsors very often and so that might happen this episode

- Nevermind now he’s not gonna do it 😭

- IF THEY DONT TELL NORMAL ILL LOSE MY KIND

- The way Scary’s telling Linc to not touch Hermie <3333333333

- No hate to Linc lots of love to Scary though

- TWO DEATH FAILS FROM PUNCHING HIM INT HE JUTS IM CRYING

- OH THANK GOD FOR SCARY

- “Where’s Hermie” I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t

- SCARY BEING SUPER THERE ABOUT HERMIE BECAUSE PF TERRY

- The way I started tearing up when they started to pick up Hemrie 💀

- God this is not boding well for the rest of the episode

- LINC NO WE KNOW YOU DIDNT LIKE EHRMKE THIS ISNT COOL AHHH

- Again no hate to Linc he’s a kid

- “We’ll fix them”

- SLAY NORMAL

- WHOO

- “LEAVE”

- Once mischief twins always mischief twins (let’s Hotwire a car together BROTHERRR)

- ANOTHER NAT ONE

- I’m pretty sure I missed the entire thing with Taylor and the gun 😭 I don’t care enough to rewind

- “Lincoln stares at yet more blood he has created and slowly sinks back down” LINCOLN BABY

- ANOTHER NAT ONE

- Ahhhhhhhhhhh this spellll

- NO THE SOELL DIDNT WORK

- ANKRHER NAT ONE HOLY SJIR

- Henry yayyyyyyyy

- THE SPONSOR

- THAT WAS PERFECT

- THAT WAS SO FUCKING PERFECT

- Sooo code purple happened as they were kids okay okay

- IS THAT FUCKING BARRY

- OR SCAM LIKELY????!!!

- Henry looks surprisingly young thanks to a vegan lifestyle and butthole sunning!!!!

- Henry how I’ve missed you!!!!!!!!!

- BARRY YOU SHOULD BE DESD FUCK YOU

- Mercedes is dead 😞

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- HES GOOF MATTER NOOOO

- Very Achilles-Patroclus esc oh god

- This is going to either be Willy or Scam oh boy oh no

- Remember when we thought Normal hiding in his mascot outfit was bad??

- Oh good it’s Scam

- He left Scary oh noooo

- The fucking Goofs Realm nauseates me Jesus

- “I’m here when it’s sad I’m here when it’s fun did someone do something to my son” that was pretty good ngl

- I’m going to sob holy shit

- Scam is actually sad omg

- Bits never die is basically what he said omg

- Holy shit holy shit holy shit scam ong omg omg ong

- GO FUCKING NORMAL PUNCH HIM

- Scam is being all depresso like the other adults holy shit 😭

- “You don’t fucking come near him”

- FUCK YEAH MULTI PRONOUNS DOOOD

- “You feel like home” AHHHH OAKSSSSSSSS

- I’m going to sob

- [will sobbing] “OUR SPONSOR AURA FRAMES!!!”

- Yayyyyy this our episode 61. Hm or maybe when Terry Jr. died

- Half of it is burnt like two face!! Like Hermie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “I’m really proud of you kiddo” sobbing sobbing sobbing

- The Shade Witch I love this 😭

- I was sobbing and now I’m laughing

- This is so funny

- This whole scene is hilarious

- The sun is a metaphor for something

- “Just this once… just this once… Chaperal on three”

- I’m sobbing I’m sobbing omg ong omg

- The Shade Witch is my favorite character move aside Paeden (I’m joking I’m joking)

- SCARY IM SOBBING

- Is the rogue card still in action???

- FUCK YOU BARRRRRRY

- The same man twice!!!!!!!

- DO WE GET THE VOICES PLEASE GUVE US GHE VOICES

- Nevermindddddd

- OMG THEYRE LEARNIBG TO SHOOT

- That’s insane

- Did Normal cause Code Purple…?

- What did Normal do!?

- Another fucking cliffhanger 😭

- I genuinely think I’m going to be sick ✌️

#dndads spoilers #dndads #dndads s2

[sammys-life3]

Hello I’m back 🤠 My phone died (Rip my dear) and I didn’t have the money for a new one buuuuut I’m finally back with a new one 🥹

(Btw that was one of the first fotos I took with my new phone hehe Kinda proud tbh)

#girl #daddy #little #black #small #black and white #cute #sweet #ugly #fat belly #fat #hidden face #jewelry

[aureatchi]

omg rev even from the back i can tell your outfit is so cute !! i love the ribbon in your hair <3 what was your fav part of the trip? and i’m glad you’re well ofc :))

THANK YOU SM ANGEL !! i was rly proud of the outfit too…from the front, i was wearing a knit green sweater hehe w the skirt !! i got the ribbon last minute bcz i acc didn’t own any :’) but i’ve always wanted one 🎀

hmm i had many fav parts ahh !! but seeing fontana di trevi actually made me so happy. i’d only seen it in those travel tiktoks up until now LMAO so it was so surreal seeing how big it acc was & how it was rly in the middle of the square. and also ofc bcz i love history LOL & this has sm behind it & its architecture <3

#.* reverie’s loves (ˇᵋ ˇෆ #💌 p.o. send to: angel! #TYSM FOR ASKING !! :)) #i’ll get to your other asks soon ilusm <3

[aubreysheadspace]

Hello!

1 I very much like your stuff and 2 may I request a Basil or Mari x reader where the reader when you first meet them is really quite and shy but after awhile their really loud and do dumb things? You don’t have to if you don’t want and please stay hydrated and take care of yourself!

-

sincerely chaos mushroom

BASIL AND MARI WITH A QUIET READER WHO GETS LOUD AND DUMB LATER ON

WAAA this idea is so silly I LOVE it!! sorry it’s been awhile, my motivation just DIED weeks ago,, (this request was asked before i closed requests!) hope u enjoy!

BASIL

BASIL at first, when you two met, he didn’t seem to mind that you were quiet! or shy!

his best friend SUNNY is literally the same, so he wasn’t one to judge you

he understands if you’re really nervous to speak to others who aren’t in the friend group, and relates to you on that part

he finds you to be really nice! he tries to be a good friend to you and respects you dearly

..but was a bit freaked out when your personality suddenly changed

he was a bit shocked and a little AFRAID

"w-wah— [READER]?.." BASIL jolted in surprise after hearing how louder you’ve recently become. "oh no s-sorry..! you don’t have to keep it down, really! i’m just.. surprised is all! I would expect these things from KEL, haha.."

he doesn’t judge you at all! he thinks you must be really good friends with KEL due to both of your loud and playful nature!

will shyly ask you to keep it down a bit, sometimes his ears can’t really take it

he doesn’t hate you, or he doesn’t prefer the old you.. kind of

he just kind of lets you be.. you! if this is how you are, he’s not going to try and change it anytime soon

he’d still treat you the same as before, trying his best to be a good friend

he will be a little nervous when you get hurt by doing dumb things, and if he’s too shaken up to patch up your wounds.. he’ll take you to HERO instead!

MARI

MARI has a little brother who’s practically the same thing, of course she’d love you! (Platonically)

she has such big sister energy, you would always enjoy her company

she treats you like how she treats SUNNY, a lifting teasing here and there.. but it’s all lighthearted

it would make her HAPPY to see both of you getting along, she would absolutely love it if her little brother found someone who acts the same way!

…that is until you’ve changed, a complete 180

once she’s noticed the changes, she a bit surprised at first

"oh wow! i thought [READER] was like a little tiny flower, all quiet and meek.. but i guess there was a new person deep down, hm? hehe!~" MARI practically teased, though you knew it was all lighthearted.

she hopes sunny isn’t too uncomfortable by the drastic change in your personality, which he isn’t

like BASIL, MARI would not judge you one bit! she hangs out with KEL too, so she probably knows how to calm you down when you get too loud

she always lightly scolds you for doing dumb things and being reckless, and would always patch up your wounds if you get hurt because of it

but she’s not ANGRY at you! no no no!

she would always urge you to be yourself, and if this was the true you, then she would be proud and absolutely happy that you trust her to show her this side of yourself

she loves you dearly just like she loves the rest of her friend group, she’s simply HAPPY that you’re HAPPY!

#aubreysheadspace!~ #aubreys writing!~ #omori #omori x reader #omori basil x reader #omori mari x reader #omori basil #omori mari

[skeletood]

OHHHHH SO MANY THOUGHTS TO SHARE

Holy shit. Probably the hardest I’ve laughed at any of the new seasons releases so far. Absolutely speechless

Hellhole:

- SOOOOO HAPPY to see them riff again it’s so corny and silly

- Beavis gets to hell and his first thought is where all the biker dudes are? interesting interesting *puts this in my notes

-oh my god already some amazing facial expressions

no wonder this dude ends up with so many cracked teeth in the future

- the boys being inexplicably immune to death never gets old to me

- THE DARKNESS PART HAD MY HEAD IN MY HANDS SHUT UP. THANK **GOD** IT WASN’T ANOTHER ESCAPED SNAKE SITUATION DEAR GOD IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER FOR A BAIT AND SWITCH

-hehe :] sillies

Overall thoughts: Another great ep this season good job guys, gave me a lot of good little laughs

The video segment was whatever but Arianna’s eye candy so like. All good :]

Take A Bow:

My god. I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen on the way in to this episode and I was NOT prepared for what it gave me and put me through

- already starting the ep strong with some GREAT facial expressions

so fucking real i used to do this to my guy friends when i was their age. not quite enough to put them in the hospital but like. yea lmao

- (monotone) “Take a bow” HAD ME DYINNNNGGGGG

- knowing about all the flavors of mountain dew what a goddamn nerd (knows everything about the different monster flavors)

- “Cherries don’t taste red at ALL. They taste all barfy” little kids complaining about foods they dont like is so silly, thank you for being your childish self its so refreshing

oh man. fuck. its butthead characterization time! finally some good fucking food. oh man here come the waterworks IMAGINE me getting stupid over an emotionally stunted idiot with a big head:

- “not until youre better beavis” first of all shut up. second of all shut up.

- “It’s like, I didn’t mean to hurt him. Feeling bad sucks.” WE KNOW BABY. WE KNOW. SO PROUD OF YOU FOR ADMITTING IT HUN :((((( the fact that bro cant even acknowledge he HAS feelings unless he’s alone. the volumes that speaks to me. man

if you had told me a week ago these were real screenoshots i wouldnt have believed you. at all. cant wait to see the looks on the faces of all the “ohh stop looking so far into it its just a stupid lowbrow cartoon” people like shut the fuck up!!!!! youve clearly never experienced real friendship before and are so pissed off cause u dont know what it looks like

- not pictured here is where they had to forcefully remove butthead from the room bc he was freaking out after thinking he killed beavis. If you disagree youre just wrong sorry!

- not only is this a funny as hell angle but man. we already know damn well he doesn’t want beavis to die but its nice to hear him say it. also he’s right, it was really funny. take a bow :]

- a lot of really good beavis screams this episode too

- BOY. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT “COVID” IS. MR JUDGE IM STRIKING THAT FROM THE RECORDS BUT YOURE ON THIN FUCKING ICE AKJSDSNA

- “-and his friend would have died of grief shortly there-after” I’m- I need a minute. LIKE WE ALREADY KNEW THIS BUT. THANKS FOR ADMITTING IT. 

- also, god is a whiteman i guess kasjndsajkd

In conclusion: both fucking great episodes. I am always EXTRA excited for Butt-Head characterization moments, it just makes him so much more human. Not to mention how happy I am to see that they toned down his cruelty JUST a touch. I honestly didn’t notice how bad it had gotten last season until i compared it to how this one is going so far, it feels more like older seasons butthead again :] Like dont get me wrong i LOVE it when he’s mean its just who he is but it should come more out of a place of stupidity/no real self awareness than like. idk wherever it was coming from last season. These boys are goin soft on us and to that i say: thank god. It’s nice to see them act human. Take a bow has EASILY taken old man beavis’ place as my favorite ep so far and ngl its going to be tough to beat. Funny episode that had me chuckling throughout the whole thing AND nice Butt-Head moments? Oh Mike, you shouldnt have u///u

Anyways lemme know your thoughts :]

#bnb spoiler tag #skeletalk #AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #basically is what i got from these new eps

[thegettingbyp2]

Aaron Tveit with the song Runaway with me (the one he has on his album) and I guess I'm in love by Clinton kane hehe

Run Away with Me

‘What’s this last song?’ You were looking at Aarons almost illegible scrawl on a scrap of paper that he was using to decide on his set list for his upcoming concert. He’d listed all of his chosen songs but the last song was just a series of stars.

‘That’s a surprise,’ he said, playfully yanking the paper out of your hands. ‘I guess it just means that you’ll have to come to the show to find out.’

You laughed lightly at his comment. You and Aaron had been dating for ten years and in the whole time you had been together, you hadn’t missed a single concert, opening night or closing night, so it was already a given that you weren’t going to be missing this one.

‘Even after all this time, you still manage to keep me on my toes, Tveit,’ you said, wrapping your arms around his waist and putting your chin on his chest to look up at him.

‘Well I’ve got to keep you on your toes so you stick around,’ he hummed happily, squeezing your body against his gently.

The same time the following week, you were sat front row at Aaron’s 54 Below concert and you could barely keep yourself together because of how proud you were of him; not only was he performing at one of the most intimate venues for Broadway, the concert was also being recorded to be released on CD. It was almost the end of the concert and you had been mentally checking all of the songs you remember from the list he showed you, still intrigued as to what the mystery song was going to be.

You watched as Aaron thanked his audience once again for coming to the gig before he started to introduce the next song.

‘So, I’ve got two more songs for you tonight but this next one could possibly be the most important song of my whole career. I’ve spent months planning the perfect song for this slot because I’m planning on only doing this once so I want to do it right. (Y/N),’ he said, turning his attention fully to you, ‘will you Run Away with Me?’

Tears began to prickle in your eyes as the soft introduction to the song you loved started playing and Aarons beautiful voice filled the space once again. The entirety of the song he kept his eyes glued to you, making his way down from the small stage until he was standing directly in front of you, the hand that wasn’t holding his microphone firmly grasping yours. You frowned at him in concern when you noticed that his hand was shaking slightly in yours and you shot him a reassuring smile and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his hand which seemed to calm his nerves as he finished the song.

As soon as his final note died out, he immediately put the microphone down on the table, too absorbed in you to fully acknowledge the thunderous applause that was resonating around the whole room.

‘I love you,’ he said simply. You were barely able to hear him over the sound of the audience.

‘I love you too. That was beautiful,’ you replied, quickly wiping the few tears that had escaped from your cheeks with your free hand before beaming back up at him.

Instead of picking the microphone up and heading back to the stage like you had expected, Aaron knelt down in front of you until the two of you were face to face and he took a deep breath before speaking. While he spoke, he left the microphone on the table, giving you both as much privacy as he could manage whilst in a room filled with people.

‘For the past ten years, you’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted and more. When I met you, I was entirely focused on my career and to be honest, every time I came home, I was expecting you to have left, pissed that I cancelled on yet another date just so I could work. Instead, you’ve relentlessly given me more love and support than I could ever deserve and it was then, when I realised that you actually wanted to stick by my side throughout anything that I knew I never want to lose you.’

You gasped as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black box. Nestled inside was a beautiful silver ring with a dainty little diamond sitting in the centre of the band; it was quite possibly the most beautiful ring you had ever seen in your life.

‘(Y/N), will you marry me?’ he asked and you could see in his eyes that even though he’d just said that you’ve always stuck by him, there was still a bit of fear that you’d say no. Not being able to speak due to your throat closing up from the tears you knew were about to fall any minute, you nodded your head quickly and pulled him in to press a kiss on your lips. You tasted salt on your lips and put it down to the fact that you’d started crying but when you pulled back, you realised that Aaron had started crying as well. It was only then that the two of you noticed that the applause had started up again at your engagement. Aaron turned to the audience, thanking them before turning back to you and slipping the ring onto your finger and kissing you again before heading back to the stage where you sat and watched your fiancé finish his show.

#aaron tveit #aaron tveit x reader #aaron tveit imagine

[nemukurastudio]

Hello! It's me again, the one that told you I would draw my ghost boy like, on March? I'M SO SORRY IT'S LATE, I JUST FORGOT ABOUT ITTT 😭😭😭💔

Either way, I've finished drawing him! I'm not that proud on the shading of his hair, but it's decent!

I've just finished playing the Day 2 and came straight here! I was actually praying I get to see the bby! But like... I covered my face and almost burst out when he said "I fell down the stairs" I'm sorry 😭. Makes me think.. Was he on his way to a date?? If he was I'm having a good guess on how he died 😭

Anyways! I won't make you read longer, so I hope you have a good one! Drink and eat plenty and rest a decent amount! Love yu ❤️

(p.s I'll be posting the fanart! I hope you don't mind me tagging you!)

BWDKJAKDJS PLS

Don’t worry! Don’t feel pressured to art anything. The game getting attention is already praise enough as is! Haha.

But art 👀

Ansel really did fall down the stairs however he leaves out details since it’s a touchy subject for him. Maybe in time, he’ll tell you more about it if you allow him to.

I’m completely healthy! Thank you for your support. Sending love to Kame as well since she works hard on this project with me hehe~

#letter from you #yours truly vn #about ansel

[melis-writes]

hi lol I was wondering if we could get some sweet sibling moments between Victoria and Lorenzo. Or maybe some Lorenzo bonding with Victoria and Michael’s kids. It’s been all angst with Lorenzo till now I thought some cute moments would be nice 🥹🥹🥹

Also I love all of ur fics smmm. I found your account right after watching the godfather for the first time ever and i was like jackpot 😭😭❤️❤️ You’re an amazing storyteller and I open Tumblr 90% of the time to check your account 💕💕💕💕

Hello, sweet anon!! 🥰😍 I love this cute, sibling bond prompt! We’re almost a little too used to expecting Lorenzo to be a hardass as its practically in his character, but for sure in the near future when I write up a oneshot just about Victoria and her family, we’ll see the full extent of his personality and grow to love him–just maybe? 😅 Hehe. On the other hand, thank you sooooo much! Made my whole day! 🥺❤ I appreciate that so much, thank you for reading my works and interacting with me!!

“I don’t know about you but I’m not exactly ever getting much of a ‘taste of home’ at any Italian place in Nevada.” Lorenzo hands the keys to his Lancia B24S to his bodyguard as you both walk side-by-side with one another towards a nearby café.

“The Italian community is just as big, believe me.” You chuckle, “though New York, New York…” You gaze upward at the streets of Long Island with a smile. “It’s good to be back home for a while.”

“Let your heart wander a little.” Lorenzo wraps a hand over your shoulder, gesturing to the café just a few feet away from him. “Where do you think we all go when we’re craving pistachio cannoli and you aren’t around?”

“What? Alina doesn’t make it for you?” You grin at your brother playfully before the two of you take your seats across from each other on the café’s patio.

“She hates pistachios.” Lorenzo murmurs, holding back his laughter. “Espresso? Sure. Anything with berries? You got it. But she’s a picky eater, a little ironic for a pastry chef.”

“How is she doing?” You ask, pretending not to notice the middle-aged gentlemen behind the cashier of the café, staring out the window to the both of you with bulging eyes of surprise.

“She’s good.” Lorenzo smiles back at you, leaning back in his seat. “She’s a multi-tasker like you. I just wish you could see her more often—”

“Lorenzo e Vittoria Ferrari?” A gruff voice speaks out as you and Lorenzo suddenly notice the same man inside the café now right next to your table, clutching two menus to his chest in shock. “Non posso credere ai miei occhi.” (I can't believe my eyes.)

“Non puoi crederci?” (You can’t?) Lorenzo gives the man a polite smile, taking out his pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his suit pocket. “Sono stato un cliente del tuo caffè prima.” (I've been a patron of your cafe before.)

“Sì, sì, certo.” (Yes, yes, of course.) The man nods frantically as if he’s offended the both of you. “Sono il proprietario di questo umile caffè. I miei figli lavorano qui e mi hanno detto che la famiglia Ferrari è venuta qui prima. Perdonatemi, signore e signora. Non ci credevo perché...” (My sons work here and they told me that the Ferrari family has come here before. Forgive me, sir and madam. I did not believe them because...) The man pauses for a moment before clearing his throat, “mi sono chiesto cosa ci farebbe la stimata famiglia Ferrari nel mio piccolo caffè?” (I asked myself what would the esteemed Ferrari family be doing at my little cafe?)

“Alla mia famiglia piace molto il tuo caffè.” (My family likes your cafe very much.) You speak up. “Tu e i tuoi figli avete molto di cui essere orgogliosi.” (You and your sons have a lot to be proud of.)

“Oh! Elogi da Victoria Corleone! Grazie signora, grazie. Per favore, non permettetemi di interrompere la vostra conversazione. Ecco i nostri menù. Saremo pronti a servirvi non appena vorrete ordinare del cibo. Per favore, goditi qualsiasi cosa gratuitamente.” (High praise from Victoria Corleone. Thank you madam, thank you. Please, don't let me interrupt your conversation. Here are our menus. We will be ready to serve you as soon as you wish to order some food.Please, enjoy anything free of charge.) Before either you or Lorenzo can protest, the man’s already left the menus in front of you before scurrying back off into the shop.

“Poor man isn’t used to gangsters dining at his café?” You joke, shaking your head as Lorenzo gestures to offer you a cigarette.

Lorenzo stifles back his laughter, putting a cigarette in the corner of his mouth. “Perhaps you and I are more recognizable than our brothers.”

“I’m grateful, really.” You chuckle, smoothening out your dress. “Now if only Michael were here...”

“Uh-huh.” Lorenzo lights up his cigarette in the palm of his hand, keeping his eyes on you. “You just flew in about four hours ago and still missing that husband of yours, huh?”

“Oh, please.” You feel your cheeks sting with blush as you pick up the menu. “You wouldn’t stop gushing about Alina when you first married her.”

“True, true.” Lorenzo nods, setting his lighter down. “But that was when I first married her. The difference is, you gush like a teenager in love and it’s been seven years.”

You playfully stick your tongue out at Lorenzo, eyeing the menu. “Why don’t you order something instead of teasing me so much, big brother?”

“I already know what I’m gonna get.” Lorenzo takes a long drag from his cigarette. “I’m just trying not to make eye contact with the owner otherwise he’s going to break his leg trying to run out here to get our order.”

“Fair enough.” You laugh softly, mentally noting your order. “I think I’ll have a tiramisu and a cappuccino.”

“And I think he heard you.” Lorenzo points to the café as the owner stares back at you, nodding and rushing to prepare your order. “And uh—I’ll have a pistachio cannoli and an espresso, big boss.”

“Sì! Al momento!” (Yes! Right away!) is all you and Lorenzo can hear from inside the café, confirming your orders.

“This guy.” Lorenzo shakes his head, continuing to smoke his cigarette.

“Hoping you, Leonardo, Matteo and Alessio haven’t taken advantage of his kindness.” You raise your brows at Lorenzo.

“And why are you looking at me like that for?” Lorenzo notices your stare.

“Because I have a feeling they may like the word ‘free’.” You point out.

“Oh.” Lorenzo bursts out laughing. “At this day and age? Father would drag them back here to pay tenfold over if that was the case—offered to be on the house or not. No, I’m pretty sure they pay. I do.”

“Good.” A smile forms back over your lips. “So Mr. Lorenzo Ferrari has manners after all.”

“Have you seen my wife, Victoria?” Lorenzo rests his cigarette between his fingers. “Don’t think she’d like me all too much if I wasn’t.”

“You two are cute, you know. Whether you admit it or not.” You tease, pretending this time not to act as surprised when the owner of the café returns a moment, later carrying a large serving tray.

Lorenzo gives the café owner his signature, polite smile as the hot coffee and Italian desserts are served. “Grazie.” (Thank you.)

“Prego. Divertiti e per favore fatemi sapere se voi due avete bisogno di qualcos'altro.” (You're welcome. Enjoy, and please let me know if you two need anything else.) The café owner humbly says, nodding at the both of you before returning inside the café.

“I thought we were done with the teasing.” You can almost swear to yourself you’ve seen your brother blush just now. “On the other hand, you are the definition of a risk paying off, you know that? That Corleone and you.”

“Oh no…” You giggle quietly, pressing the side of your fork into your tiramisu. “Maybe I’m just one lucky girl.”

“Pfft, maybe.” Lorenzo shrugs, raising his coffee up to his lips. “Depending on how many girls you ask that fawn over Corleone on a daily basis. Other than that, you’re a match made in heaven.”

“I would have never thought—“

“Don’t start.” Lorenzo rolls his eyes.

“You would say that!” You squeal, munching down on your tiramisu. “Getting squishy there, tough guy.”

“I’d say it’s still tough to want your sister to be happy.” A grin breaks out over Lorenzo’s face as he sips his espresso. “Still, it was a risk, wasn’t it? Because there’d always be a possibility it wouldn’t work out.”

“I’m not the pessimistic type, but,” you swallow down your tiramisu. “Is it bad I honestly wouldn’t be surprised?”

“What do you mean?” Lorenzo continues sipping his scalding coffee. “As in if you and Corleone broke off the engagement or divorced much earlier on?”

“Both, I guess.” You shrug your shoulders, blowing gently over your steaming cappuccino. “You know how it was for me in university. I didn’t really ‘date’.”

“Wasn’t your thing when your head was in those books.” Lorenzo gestures by poking his own temple. “I’d have thought you and that Romano would have gotten together at some point.”

“Ah, everyone said that.” You chuckle quietly, taking a cautious sip of your coffee. “I had too many strings attached to my life then. Commitment… Mm, it wasn’t really on my mind. It was too soon, you know?”

“Funny enough,” Lorenzo quietly clears his throat. “That changed as soon as you laid eyes on Corleone. I saw that myself, now I can believe it.”

“I can’t help it.” You blush almost instantly, picturing Michael in your head. “I’m not shying away from admitting just how in love with him I am.”

“Does he make you happy?” Lorenzo gives you a small smile.

“He does. He really does.” You nod back happily. “Not just me, but our children too. Honestly, all I want is for you two to finally get along too.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t say we don’t exactly…” Lorenzo stops himself, pursing his lips. “Well, let me stop myself before I lie. For you, Victoria. I’ll look past our differences for you, because if he makes you as happy as you say he does, who am I to question that or get in the way of it? And besides. You have a little baby to take care of again, I expect the two of you to be glued from hip to hip again. That’s how it was like with me when Alina gave birth to our sons.”

“I’d appreciate that, Lorenzo.” You beam back at him. “I really would. I’m not just saying this to you either, but also to Michael. We’re family, after all.”

“We are.” Lorenzo nods. “But excuse me if I’m a little stunned my baby sister grew up so fast and is already on top of the world. Now that,” he bites into his flaky cannoli, pointing at you with his cigarette. “Is something Victoria Ferrari accomplished—with or without a man. And I’m proud of you either way—I mean that. I’ve learned just as much from you in these past years as you ever have with me, and—”

“Uncle Lorenzo, Uncle Lorenzo!!” Familiar squeals from afar interrupt your conversation at hand.

“Oh!” Your eyes light up as you look towards the entrance of the café to spot the twins accompanied by Al Neri behind them, rushing to greet you both. “When did you two decide to arrive almost two hours early?!”

“We surprised mama!” Verona giggles playfully as she and Niccolo practically come to jump in Lorenzo’s arms.

“Oh, careful there.” Lorenzo’s quick to set down his coffee and cigarette to rise from his seat and kneel down to embrace the twins. “Gotcha! Couldn’t possibly surprise me.”

“Thank you, Al.” You beam back at Neri, giving him a wave as he nods in acknowledgement. “Looks like they missed their uncle, alright.”

“Uncle Lorenzo!” Niccolo hugs Lorenzo tightly just as Verona runs into your arms.

“We surprised you, we surprised you!” She chants happily. “We came to see Uncle Lorenzo toooooo!”

“Swear everytime I see you two, you’re even more grown than before.” Lorenzo chuckles to himself. “And the last time was two weeks ago. Has anyone ever told you how much you resemble your father?”

“Maybe.” Niccolo clasps his hands behind his back. “I love daddy.”

“I love your daddy too,” you say through laughter, pulling Verona up onto your lap.

“Do you love daddy?” Niccolo curiously asks Lorenzo, noticing even at eight years old that his uncle’s always been a bit of a brooder near Michael.

“I, uh—” Lorenzo shrugs, “I guess I do. Why not? I love your mother too. I think she’s pretty great.”

“Uncle Lorenzo is great!” Verona happily points over to her uncle, causing both you and Lorenzo to exchange overjoyed glances with one another.

#godfather au #prompts #moth to flame fic #moth to flame au #godfather x reader #canon