self love, she don’t love herself, tryna love me
kim dahyun & gn!reader // pain
take a breath
then let go
that’s your mantra for the night, the rain pouring down on you as you try to figure out what to do next.
it had never occurred to you that maybe it was high time to admit to the truth of what keeps you crying every night. putting on rose colored glasses to pretend that it was fine had only brought you so far
so far into darkness, so far into delusion
that’s why you’re standing here, under the rain, away from her apartment, and away from whatever can hurt you more into the ground
you can’t avoid her that long through
dahyun finds you, her clothes drenched as yours, eyes filled with fear.
fear
such a strong feeling that can bring you to submission. a powerful tool that can bring entire nations into their knees
it’s first came to you, and now it came to her
“please” dahyun pleads, kneeling down on her knees, grabbing you before you go “don’t leave me”
you wonder how many times you’re allowed to let her back in. to let her back in with your heat on her hands, crushing it to pieces everytime
how long did you endure before you broke yourself? you don’t even recall anymore
all you remember is looking at someone else for comfort, someone who is as broken as you.
tzuyu, your friend and confidant that brought you strength. she was the only one who made you see what damage her member can do to you
“she’s not worth it” tzuyu whispers to you late one night, wiping your tears in a random bathroom stall in a club she found you at “whatever love she’s promising to you, she’s promising it to someone else”
still, you know that it’s only dahyun who manages to piece you back together before breaking you apart.
she’s the one who brings you breakfast in bed. she’s the one who sends you flowers every weekend. she’s the one who sings to you when you can’t sleep. she’s the one who kisses you like you’re her only one
so why did she cheat?
you can only stare at dahyun before directing your gaze up to look in the distance, trying to find the answer to why she would do that again and again just to mess with you
you see sana and tzuyu, and you finally understand why it hurts. why it hurts for you to even comprehend it all, and why it hurts for tzuyu not to be chosen again and again. not to be chosen by someone who had stood by her side for so long.
you wonder if sana finally chose her.
the tears in tzuyu’s eyes tell you other wise.
you see tzuyu shake her head from a distance and start walking to get her unnie, you know you never stood a chance
“no.” you turn around, push her away and finally walk into the city “you ruined it by not trusting yourself, not trusting me, not trusting us”
as you disappear into the night, dahyun finally lets out a scream of agony, the taste of regret and pain finally ripping her body apart into nothing
“come back please! fuck i’m sorry!”
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What’s 42’s favourite colour?
I don’t think she’s ever thought about it. She’s never been given the choice or option but I think she’s gravitate towards green. it was the first color she saw stepping outside, you see.
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