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johnandrasjaqobis · 4 years

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Hey sooooooo. I just stumbled upon ur pacific rim mad max fic and I wanted to know if that fic is orphaned and abandoned or if ur going to still continue it. I know continuation is unlikely but I thought I'd ask.

Hello ! I am glad you found (and presumably enjoyed) the fic, that one is definitely a fun one.

Your question is,,, definitely valid, and also I have no idea how to properly answer it.

I’ve got so many wips across so many fandoms, and there are a few that I’ve finally bitten the bullet and don’t have any plans of continuing, partially just because I’m not really interested in them anymore or because they’re old (and low quality) enough that my current writing would clash so bad with the original works. Pretty much all of my Danny Phantom fics (other than House Call) fall into that category. My super old crossovers on FFN. Etc.

When Ghosts Speak has not fallen into that category, because I still love both Mad Max and PacRim, and it’s recent enough that even my current improvements aren’t glaringly obvious compared to the rest. If I remember correctly, chapters 1-5 were written in 2015 and then I wrote chapter 6 in 2018, which is....kind of precisely the perfect example of how these fics end up going.

I will say that it is not abandoned, because I still really love the concept and would genuinely like to write more. I will also say that it’s not on a list of priorities, because I’ve got...hoo boy so many wips that are part of fandoms more immediately to the front of my mind?

So all that to say, uh. It’s not abandoned because I very well could get random inspiration and crank out another chapter at random. But also I have no idea when that sort of inspiration will strike, so I can’t place any kind of guarantee on anything.

Which is terrible for people who get invested in all of my random wips and I genuinely apologize for that! And really wish I could give a better answer than the essence of a shrug emoji, but...

here we are?

#philomenia32

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staravya · 4 years

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👀👀👀👀👀

i dont think any of our fandoms overlap but here’s a portion of a thing i haven’t managed to fit into a bigger whole of “pacrim au for k.ingdom hearts, feat. triple pilots as the norm bc i do what i want” yet \o/ i pulled it from a nano doc so it’s Awful and unrevised in current form but shh.

also hello hello hope the holidays have treated you well!

Terra is trembling.

He’s been trembling for a while, honestly, but since stepping out of Wayfinder’s waterlogged harness, it’s only gotten worse. It perplexes the scientists. Kind of.

They know what to call it—tremors, either cerebellar or psychogenic, they haven’t decided for sure yet—but they don’t get why it’s happening to him. Not yet.

They all have suspicions, though.

Ven sits in the bed adjacent to Terra’s, undergoing his own examination. He seems fine, if teary-eyed and stressed, so after they splint Terra’s fractured leg, they let the two of them go.

Terra leans on one crutch, hands the other to Ven, and lets his co-pilot support him instead. They limp quietly away from the medical ward, quiet in the hall but with minds screaming, the drift alive between them.

Aqua, Aqua, Aqua, they call, but there is no response. It’s just the two of them.

This is wrong, Ven says. She’s not dead.

She’s not dead. Terra tightens his hold on Ven’s arm, gritting his teeth as his limbs shake against his will. The more he thinks about them, the worse they get, but—they’re impossible to ignore. We’ll find her, he promises, Aqua is strong—faith, love—we didn’t feel her die, so she’s not dead.

Agreement. Ven buries his face in Terra’s shoulder as he bears his weight, letting muscle memory and Terra’s vision guide their steps.

There are people along the way but word must’ve gotten around, because for the most part the two of them are left alone. Soft greetings bounce off their hunched backs, meaningless platitudes against the sting of loss. The aching lack of a third must blaze like a spotlight in others’ eyes, it must, because it’s impossible to miss in the turmoil of their own minds calling and calling and calling.

Ven thinks he feels Sora’s thoughts brushing past his in quiet reassurance, but all it does is make him think of how the higher-ups are going to handle this (badly, by shoving the overworked Sora into Aqua’s position and believing that will solve everything), so Ven sends him a clear, bristling sign to back off.

Not now, he hiss-whispers, every thought tinged with distress, and Sora’s presence retracts apologetically.

Normally, Aqua would huff at him with a reprimand of be nice, but she’s not here and he hurts for it. They both hurt for it.

Jack catches them just as they move to their door. “The Master will see you in four hours, at eleven,” he says, less boisterous than usual. If his eyes skate over an empty space to Ven’s other side, nobody says anything about it. “Rescue efforts will be ongoing in the meantime.”

“Thanks,” Terra says, a curt but not unkind dismissal. Ven opens the door as Jack leaves, and the two rangers stumble into the room.

The door slams shut behind them and Terra collapses onto his bed.

“Terra,” Ven says, pressing love love love I know I miss her too at him.

“I can’t stop shaking,” Terra says. He curls his hands into fists against the covers, frustration boiling over. I’m afraid leaks through his thoughts for an instant before he crushes it ruthlessly. I’m not afraid.

I am, Ven responds, curling into his side.

…

Ven mumbles something intelligible as his mind groans, sleepy, and falls asleep right there. Terra raises a brow.

…

“Is he asleep again?” Roxas asks, baffled. “This is, what, the fifth time?”

“Maybe he hasn’t been sleeping much,” Sora says. Because of—you know. Sora’s thoughts are a little softer than usual, muddled by the weeks since their last drift together, but they’re still clear enough to understand.

That said, it’s not exactly a pleasant line of conversation. I get that, but… Roxas frowns, reaching over to gently shake the other pilot awake. This seems a little much. He’s not going to be eating enough at this rate.

Sora nods with a small frown, and then pokes a spaced-out Riku (pestering Kairi about something or another, no doubt) with his spoon. “Hey. Do you know where Terra is?”

“Last I heard, he’s having his physical therapy session.” Riku glances over at the slowly-waking Ven, and his eyes soften. “Should we go get him?”

“No,” Ven interjects, finally awake enough to slur his own opinion on the matter. He rubs his eyes with one hand, pushing Roxas’ hand away with the other. “PT’s important. Don’t distract him.”

“Do you want to go back to your room?”

“No. I’m fine.” Ven straightens his back, looking significantly more awake as he rebelliously takes a bite of his food.

…

Ven claps his hands together. “So, new diagnosis,” he says. “I have narcolepsy. If I get comfortable I can and will pass out on the spot.”

Lea takes a moment to digest this, and then asks, “Are they still gonna let you pilot?”

“Yeah.”

“Really.”

“It’s not like fighting kaiju is comfortable,” Terra drawls, steady and firm. Lea puts his hands up in mock surrender.

“Didn’t mean to sound like I doubted you. Just that—ow, Xion!”

“What he means,” Xion says, voice pitched to override Lea’s grumbling at being harshly elbowed, “is that he’s super impressed. We appreciate your efforts.” Don’t push, Xion scolds. They’re not made of glass—they’re strong, but hurting.

…

Ven figures it out first.

After a drift test to see how capable they are at piloting without their third—and they’re plenty capable, just unstable and easily unbalanced, but that’s not something they test for or can test for when it’s just a jaeger humming to life in the relative safety of the Shatterdome—their ghosting is renewed in strength.

Because of that, neither of them bring up the faults in the test. The soft buzz of the connection between them is enough of a recompense. For now.

For now, the faint impression of Ven’s amusement agrees.

Terra snorts, similarly amused. It’s quick to fade as he reaches for the water bottle on his desk, though, as his trembling fingers knock against it instead of picking it up.

As it topples, about to roll off the table, Terra watches it—annoyance frustration pain—Ven cuts in—frustration reassurance love—reaches—let me help (we are one)—and—

Terra’s arm snaps out with Ven’s will and snatches the bottle before it hits the floor.

His hand is steady. And it remains steady, even as Terra lifts it and places it back on the table.

Terra lets go (Ven lets go) and his fingers begin to shake again.

“What did you just—“

“Nothing,” Ven breathes. Nothing we haven’t done before—slipping into each others’ eyes and bodies—I just wanted to help.

Terra hesitates, glancing over to the corners of their room. Technically, pilot dorm rooms are private and aren’t under surveillance. Technically, they’re safe to say things out loud here.

Technically, the rooms aren’t soundproof.

And the idea of telling the lab coats (the people who said it was Aqua’s fault, who said she’s dead, who said she is to be left abandoned now and to move on and to fight with the burden of that missing link) turns their stomachs.

“Oh wow how lucky that didn’t hit the ground,” Ven says in a rush of an exhale, slumping back onto his bunk bed. Let me try it again!

Terra rolls his eyes but does so anyway, unable to suppress the excitement. He reaches for the bottle again, and just as his tremors rack up, Ven’s presence presses close, and they—the tremors vanish. He grabs the bottle in a smooth motion.

Oh, shit, Ven’s thought burbles, and Terra turns to see—through Ven’s eyes—his hands shaking. In shock, there’s a snap in their connection, and Ven’s hand steadies.

Terra’s, on the other hand, are trembling again.

“Okay,” Terra says, okay, okay, so you just—took my tremors?

Can you take my narcolepsy then! Let’s try! Ven hauls himself off his bed, saying, “Aren’t you tired? Let’s take a nap.” If I can stay up longer than you, then we’ll know!

“Sure.” Why the hell not, Terra says, and flops onto his own bed. He crawls a little further onto it as Ven casually tosses himself on top of him, practically vibrating with all the joy faith love pouring through him.

…

Ven laughs, a little hysterical. “We didn’t get out of that unchanged either,” he says. “If my narcolepsy hasn’t forced Wayfinder into early retirement, nothing will.”

“Narcolepsy,” Aqua repeats. “How—“

“You guys make up for it when we fight, because we’re drifting,” Ven says. “Same goes for Terra’s tremors. And your migraines, I guess.”

Aqua purses her lips, thinking. Guilt trickles over from her mind to theirs, underlined with memories of being torn out of the cockpit and the drift swaying as it frays with distance. Terra says, “It’s not your fault,” to make it go away.

“If anything,” Ven starts, and immediately shuts up as Aqua and Terra turn disapproving looks and thoughts his way. He puts his hands up innocently. “I’m just saying.”

“Absolutely not,” Aqua says.

“No,” Terra agrees.

“Then it doesn’t make sense for any of us to blame ourselves, right? It was just the kaiju.”

…

“Migraine,” Aqua says, letting Terra rest his chin on her shoulder. She laces their fingers together when his shake too much to find hers properly.

Ven makes a sympathetic sound, sitting on her lap with his legs draped over Terra’s lap. His eyelids are already dropping, but Terra and Aqua (on some unspoken instinct from a memory she gained over drift) gently pull him awake, spreading the drowsiness thin over the three of them. As a result, the pressure to fall asleep alleviates, and Ven exhales a soft sigh. Thanks, he says.

#diydumpsterdiving #starli speaks

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