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not ready. 4 more yom tov. lov a good holiday but also like i am holidayed out..

#azriel.txt#also shul is in my backyard i'm glad we're usually not over 30 or 40 ppl (including families w/kids and/or pods)#but can someone else get a big backyard pls. im not ungrateful n i sound spoiled but i am Tired....#oh ppl are sweet tho we get like flowers sometimes. this week bourbon and some fancy baklava i could d*e for imo....#hello tumblr i have a life#rly do Love that baklava tho..The Good Stuff
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maths (rollercoaster)

#don't rb :)#hello we have a problem in maths and i think i figured it out in more detail#so i have the combination of people making me have an ego and randomly appearing impostor syndrome#i am. 'good' at maths. meaning i'm good at remembering methods and applying them when told to#issues include: if no method known/don't know which to use. i basically just can't#so! online! if we're doing something new and i instantly understand it/use it correctly for (bonus if it's difficult!) a question#then my brain is all like. i'm literally a genius i'm the best at maths i don't even need this lesson anymore. i have succeeded in life#and then i'm bored while people are still working/talking so i go to tumblr or something#and then my teacher moves on and i don't realise. teaching something else new.#i don't realise until it's too late 😔 then i miss part of the explanation/can't focus and i can't do the questions soooo i am then dead#and this is 5 minutes later and already my brain is like hahaaa we are now failing this is the worst catastrophe ever...#...faked the intelligence but now it's over and look everyone else got the right answer so quickly you are Wrong! everything is Wrong!#then i abandon the lesson for 5 minutes because i didn't listen and i have failed and ✨i fucked up✨#i come back. realise the method and get a question right and be like. what did i just do this is fine now i get it complete overreaction why#like hello? can we have something in between the weird feeling of extreme accomplishment and failure?#would be nice to not be over confident (*thinks of a shakespeare quote*) so i focus and learn. but still confident in my abilities already??#plus sometimes i swear i want myself to do this cause when it feels like i'm supposed to i just can't cry? so i try to whenever i can#at insignificant things?????? i am so done with myself sometimes what on earth is going on here#it would be great for my brain to realise that we cant do this when we're back at school! i cried once but i had to fight so hard to hide it#what a MESS over literally one lesson. which is basically my favourite lesson cause the teacher and class are the best#today's maths went normal cause i was actually trying to listen to the new thing and not repeat last time :l so today was fine at least#*heavy sigh at myself* why#c/txt#c/vent#sometimes you have to make a post on tumblr.com to figure your brain out and that's okay (is it? maybe. best option)
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the fact that this account keeps getting followers… hello

#I think in a past life I must have wished on a monkeys paw for internet clout#the catch is the only form I can get it is supernatural blogging on tumblr#anyways hello everyone welcome to my house! <:-)
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Tu vois, moi aussi j'ai peur, j'ai peur en permanence

Qu'on m'annonce une catastrophe

Ou qu'on m'appelle des urgences

Mais on a la chance d'être ensemble, tous les deux

De s'être trouvés, c'est déjà prodigieux

Haut Les Cœurs – Fauve

insp

#hello fellow irrelevants#my brain is consumed by poi so. have this#i hope this yellow isn't too bad lmao#also i managed to get the eps in 1080p but tumblr kills the quality of the pics anyway#person of interest#rinch#john reese#harold finch#poiedit#(its 2:40am what am i doing with my life lmao)#gonna pin that stuff for a few days ig ?
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blocked someone on discord today because theyre in my swtor guild but never play the game, i barely know them, and yet they keep dming me and its weird

#shitpost#Theyve like...vented about their life and im just#Dude we arent friends#U dont even play the game!!#And like from moment 1 shes been creepily focused on me for some reason and im just#I make new friends all the time in my guild. And i keep it casual for gaming because ...gamers and me have one thing in common and thats th#And like just. Ugh it was weird#I kept not responding to their random 'hellos' or 'i hope youre okay' (WHICH IS WERID TO SEND TO SOMEONE!!!)#And they just. Didnt get the memo and keep messaging me every few months#like. I make internet friends on tumblr i am not lookin to make friends in swtor#Swtor is where i go to play game#Dont dm me unless its about the game#Im only friends with ppl ive played with for years gjsjfjfk#And even then i know very little of their personal info and we dont chat much other than ingame#Jgjxjxjd i feel bad i hate cutting people off but im just#Gjdjdjdk stop dming me
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me: i dont listen to music

also me when i’m on youtube & very rarely feel like listening to anything remotely resembling a song: immediately playing system of a down’s question and feeling the existential dread 🙃

#noirtalk#it's the cathartic aggressive hard metal + the inherent beautiful sorrow in serj tankian and daren malachian's voices babey#i dont care if they're 200 years old they still have a special place in my heart#didn't know shit abt their lyrics when i was a snot nosed teen but now that i do as an adult... 🙃🙃😔🥺#also hello followers i havent really been online on tumblr these days#havent much felt like it + real-life's been busy as heck#i still have a queue running#hopefully will get back to blogging soon
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sqh is not immune to the tits

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#birov art#gonna love explaining this one to the IRL people who have this account#moshang#shang qinghua#mobei jun#/#hello mother please dont question my life choices#also i was gonna make mbj hairier but my hand was starting to hurt bc there are four of these and i had to throw in the towel#the other two are not here for reasons but if you want to find them#well check my twitter post of these and look at the rts. i suppose.#you will find some things in there. some things tumblr does not allow
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